The Courier Edition 251

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Friday 30th October 2015 Friday 6th November Friday 11th December

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY

ALEX TRELINSKI

FILL UP AND DRIVE ROBBERS

S

ix members of the same family have been arrested by the Guardia Civil and accused of at least 125 cases of driving off from Alicante Province filling stations without paying. Authorities say they expect to uncover more such incidents in a major operation of deception.

The group is accused of defrauding petrol stations; breaking into cars; as well as stealing the vehicles themselves across the municipalities of Sant Joan, El Campello, Alicante, Ibi, Sax and Novelda.

The four principal leaders are aged in their forties, but the other two

arrested by the Guardia are aged 69 and 76.

False number plates and at least forty stolen plates were used on some of their purloined vehicles to avoid detection as they would fill up with fuel and drive away from service stations without a visit to the cashier.

Many of the stolen cars and plates they used were

stolen from vehicles on supermarket car parks, with some of the stores being robbed as well.

Authorities say that a kindergarten in the Sant Joan area of Alicante was also robbed.

No further details of the arrested family were made available to the media as The Courier went to press.

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Friday 11th December 2015

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Myra

A group of disabled people from the Orihuela Costa recently used the European Union’s International Disabled Day as the pretext to hand in a letter to the Orihuela Mayor, Emilio Bascuñana, complaining about what they say is a lack of provision of facilities for people with special needs in the area. The letter, which was presented at the Town Hall in Playa Flamenca, calls for the Mayor’s support for groups like Help At Home Costa

Blanca and Torrevieja Stroke Support to be able to use a room at the Civic Centre for social meetings and events, as well as the creation of a dedicated Day Care Centre for the Orihuela Costa. The protestors say that there are two Care Centres in Orihuela City some 38 kilometres away in addition to an Alzheimer’s centre and dedicated funding, which contrasts to what they claim is a raw deal for the coastal area.

Homicide Alert

The body of an 83-yearold woman has been found in a San Fulgencio house after a neighbour alerted authorities that he had not seen her for a number of days.

Last Tuesday lunchtime, the Guardia Civil and local police broke into

her home, which is on the edge of the town on the Guardamar road, and discovered signs of a violent assault. A full autopsy is being carried out, with the Spain's highest legal lone resident perhaps being a victim of a robbery that body, The Supreme Court, have agreed with Valencia's went wrong. equivalent judiciary that they were right to throw out a General Plan brought forward by San Miguel de Salinas council that envisaged the building of 40 thousand homes in a municipality that only has a population of around eight thousand

Jean Orihuela Costa Tel. 618 898 034

escape with witnesses reporting four people wearing balaclavas, though no report was made of any money that was taken. In Saturday's Gran Alacant robbery, the thieves managed to take an undisclosed sum from the damaged machine before making their getaway in a van.

people.

With the support of the previous Partido Popular run- Valencia regional government, the PP-led San Miguel council decided to spend money in 2013 on appealing the Valencia court verdict, after the San Miguel Neighbourhood Association and the Friends of Sierra Escalona (ASE) had fought

against the General Plan which had been initially approved in 2008.

Manuel Gomez of ASE said that the General Plan was "a product of complete arrogance as well as ignoring the wishes of local people by the San Miguel council, as they drafted it without meeting key groups in the area".

Give Us The Galleon!

Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265

Writers

with the gang apparently using a spray to cause the detonation which the police said also bore similarities to two ATM explosions in Cartagena last week which hit the Sabadell Bank on the Plaza de la Alicante.

In that incident, a black Audi car was used in the

Dead Duck Plan

French Gift

Torrevieja & North Tel. 618 583 765

Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Jeanette Erath Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

An ATM machine at Santander Bank's Gran Alacant branch (pictured) was blown up in the early hours of last Saturday morning just weeks after a similar incident at Santander's office in Los Montesinos. The Gran Alacant bureau is located in the commercial centre

Benidorm's Terra Natura park has just received five new visitors, namely five Bengal tigers courtesy of a French zoo. Father and mother (Rajiv and Shana) have been joined by three babies who are just seven

months old. The Boissiere du Dore zoo had got too small for the family so Terra Natura fitted the bill exactly, with the move being done via part of EAZA, the European Association of Zoos and Aquaria.

The Spanish government says it has rights to a sunken Spanish galleon discovered in Colombian waters. Foreign minister Jose Garcia-Margallo says he is asking for more information about the galleon, the San Jose, found after decades of searching.

The galleon, which was sunk in 1708, belonged to

Philip V of Spain. Its discovery was announced on Saturday. The ship was attacked by the British navy as it set sail for Spain laden, it is believed, with treasure.

Jose Garcia-Margallo said Spain wanted an amicable agreement with Colombia over the ship and its contents, but he said the country would be prepared to

defend its interests at the UN if necessary.

The minister said that there was a UNESCO convention that stipulated that this type of wreck "belonged to the state, was the result of war, and was not a private boat".

"This can be resolved in a friendly way," Mr GarciaMargallo said.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Tip Success

29 “terrorist” tips have been received within the first day of a new website running in Spain which allows people to report any possible Jihad or 'radicalisation' activity.

The website, stopradicalismos.es also publicises a mobile App and Freephone number which has been put together by authorities to allow anybody to tell them about possible cases of individuals or groups who

may have become 'indoctrinated' or turned 'fundamentalist' and be at risk of committing, training for or recruiting for Jihad terrorism, or who have gone or are planning to go to the war zones to join DAESH. Reports - via an online form - can be anonymous, unless the whistle-blower specifically wants to give his or her details. The website is in Spanish and in Arabic.

On Tuesday, authorities

arrested two people suspected of recruiting fighters for Islamic State in the Canary Islands and Catalunya, bringing to 100 the number of suspected Islamist militants detained this year. The man and the woman, both with Morrocan nationality, had distributed Islamic State recruiting material through the Internet and had made death threats in Spain and France, the Interior Ministry said.

Square Deal

Holiday Robbers The National Police along with their French counterparts have smashed a tenstrong Algerian gang that would target holiday homes to rob along the Mediterranean coast as well as the Balearic Islands. They are accused of 25 crimes, with five of their members being arrested in Alicante Province. The police operation started in June, with most of the items being returned to the property owners who are based across Spain as well as Europe and even Latin America.

Poland says cannot accept some of UK PM Cameron's EU demands.

Russia says Turkey's accusations of ethnic cleansing in Syria groundless.

US National Parks celebrate 100 years.

President Lobbied

being found guilty of forgery. An Orihuela court said they acted inappropriately in the award of a contract for the refurbishment of Orihuela City's Plaza del Escorratel by signing a contract for the "winning" contractor of the 34 thousand

euro tender after the work had actually been completed in 2008. The judge noted that Lorente had presided over the official opening of the refurbished Plaza on July 4th, whilst the contract for the work was actually dated July 26th.

Korean woman dies in Berlin in apparent exorcism, 5 arrested.

Nepal police break up anti-India protest over shortages.

US donates vehicles to boost poorly-armed Philippine forces.

Orihuela mayor Emilio Bascuñana has called for the rural areas of the Vega Baja region in a meeting with Alicante Provincial Council president, Cesar Sánchez (pictured left).

Bascuñana also discussed more steps that needed to be taken to promote international tourists to visit the Orihuela area. Sanchez's whistle-stop visit to local councils last Friday also included a first meeting with Formentera del Segura mayor, Francisco Cano, as

well as a trip to Benijófar for talks with the mayor, Luis Rodriguez and his team.

Meanwhile, the Provincial Council has announced nearly two million euros of grant aid for projects in the area. This includes a football pitch costing over 350 thousand euros for Jacarilla; 283 thousand euro for improving street lighting in Algorfa and 172 thousand euro to Rojales council for enhancements to the Avenida de las Naciones in Quesada.

Dubbed In

The Ex-Orihuela PP mayor Monica Lorente (pictured) and former infrastructure councillor Antonio Rodriguez Murcia have been barred from public office for nine months and fined two thousand seven hundred euro each after

Egypt frees Israeli held for spying in prisoner swap.

British and American TV shows that are dubbed into Spanish for the country's networks could be a thing of the past if the Partido Popular win the General Election on December 20th. Education Minister, Íñigo Méndez de Vigo, unveiled the idea as part of their education and culture manifesto, The country's long tradition of dubbing TV shows and movies instead of subtitling them stems, in part, from its political history. Under the dictator General Franco, all foreign -

and even regional - languages were banned, which meant that international films shown in Spain were dubbed in Spanish rather than shown in their original languages with subtitles.

Now the Partido Popular wants a change to encourage better English language skills, though most viewers to Spain's TV channels are well aware that a flick of a switch allows them the option to watch virtually all imported programming in the original language.

US carry out successful missile defence test in Israel.

Bollywood actor Salman Khan cleared over hitand-run crash.

China to introduce tough emissions controls for ships.

Japan needs immigrants to boost population.

Evidence of fraud in Chinese anti-counterfeiting industry.

Beijing lifts smog red alert.

Australian police charge five over plot to attack government buildings.

Afghan forces repel Taliban attack on airport, 50 dead.

California card clubs raided in massive gambling probe.

Scotland shuns Trump after anti-Muslim remarks.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Gone Flat Spain's biggest renewable energy company, Abengoa, is on the verge of going under. The firm has initiated insolvency proceedings after failing to close a deal with a major new investor. In November, Gonvarri pulled out of a 350 million euro investment plan with the company, slashing by half the value of Abengoa's shares. The company has until the end of March to find a buyer or it will be declared bankrupt.

Spend It Rojales independent party, Pader, have criticised the PSOE (Socialist) run council for not spending enough money. Their spokesman, Aráez Desiderio, claims that six million euro have accumulated in municipal coffers over the last two years that should be used on projects in the area.

Green Light Work has been given the go-ahead for a major development project in the Acequión beach area of Torrevieja, after changes were made to the two planned walkways to minimise any environmental impact on the beach.

Approval was granted by the Coastal Provincial Service with work expected to start early next year.

Good Runner

Almoradi no longer has an official mayor's car as the Volkswagen Phaeton that cost nearly 73 thousand euro in 2007 was auctioned off recently for over 13 thousand euro.

Mayor Jaime Pérez said that having the car was a waste of public money with a private buyer picking up the vehicle in a bidding process that started at just under 10 thousand euro.

In-House Promo

Sara Munsterhjelm has been appointed as Lloyd Milen's replacement as Vice Consul for the British Consulate in Alicante, having worked there for the last six years. Munsterhjelm's work has seen her assisting

vulnerable British nationals, as well as working in the Department of Health team, also based in Alicante.

Sara said: "I am really excited about the opportunity to take a lead in the support we offer British nationals in this area of Spain. My experience means I have a good understanding of the needs of residents and tourists, and I'm looking forward to working with the local Spanish authorities and the voluntary sector to ensure Brits can access the support and information they need."

Lloyd Milen has been promoted to Consul-General for north-east Spain and the Balearic Islands and is now based in Barcelona.

New Spaniards A total of 205,880 foreign nationals obtained Spanish nationality in 2014 according to figures published by the National Institute of Statistics (INE). The figure is actually a fall of just under nine percent on that of 2013 and it looks certain that the trend is going to continue in 2015 as the

INE also confirmed that just 66,454 foreigners obtained Spanish nationality in the first half of this year. The majority of those who have taken Spanish nationality were Moroccan, Ecuadorian or Colombian, with 34 thousand, 32 thousand, and 25 thousand respectively.

A five-strong gang of high-end car robbers who targeted the Alicante coast to steal vehicles to take back to the Madrid area with them were arrested by the Guardia Civil when they were literally caught in the act. A resident in the

Muchavista beach area of El Campello spotted the men trying to break into a BMW car and called the police who raced to the scene and caught them, despite some of the group trying to unsuccessfully flee in another vehicle. The

Guardia seized a variety of sophisticated tools that the men used for their illegal endeavours including a variety of microchips used to crack car key codes.

The gang have been charged with two counts of car theft.

Adios Spain

All Yours, Kids!

The Spanish royal family have published their annual Christmas card, with King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia not on them but instead passing the mantle onto their daughters. Princess Leonor, 10, and Princess Sofia, 8 feature in a warm embrace on the front of the card and even

add their own handwritten signatures inside.

Inside the card, there’s a message in with signatures

by Felipe, Letizia, Leonor and Sofia. It reads: ‘Every day we have reason to find hope and peace in our hearts. We hope that the goodwill of Christmas will always light our way.’

Noisy Aroma

Lighten Up A tender will be readvertised for street lighting improvements on Torrevieja’s El Chaparral urbanisation after a previously successful bidder for the contract failed to get their detailed plans in on time. Six thousand euro has been budgeted for two sets of work which will include Calle Henri Matisse.

Away Day Flop

An ex-shoe factory on the Elche/Crevillente border was cobbled up into a marijuana greenhouse with over a thousand cannabis plants found sprouting away when the National Police raided the premises. The building in Motola hadn't been used for

a number of years with neighbours calling the authorities because of all the noise and activity that had recently started, along with a strong smell of marijuana. A man and a woman in their mid-forties were arrested and taken to Elche police station.

More Spaniards moved abroad in the first half of this year than at any point since the country entered a long economic downturn in 2008, statistics show.

Although the Spanish economy has rebounded to grow faster than most other countries in the European Union, close to 51 thousand Spaniards packed their bags, nearly as many as left during the whole of 2010, in the depths of the country's

debt crisis, the figures from the National Statistics Institute show.

The mass of people leaving Spain marks a near 30 percent increase on the first six months of the previous year. The number of Spaniards returning home also rose, but net migration of Spaniards widened to nearly 28 thousand. The bulk of the emigrants are of working age, between 25 and 44 years old, the

report on Spain's population said. The top destination was Britain, attracting more than six thousand Spaniards in the first half of 2015, followed by France and Germany.

The number moving abroad from Alicante Province in 2014 was 5,647, but returns for just the first six months of 2015, show that three and a half thousand people had left the area for a new life out of Spain.

Headline Hunter

An unnamed woman has confessed to telling a pack of lies about finding a baby dumped in a waste container in La Ñora outside Murcia City. The 65-year-old alleged hero turned to a zero as she spun a yarn to the local press that made national headlines, saying that she looked into a bin when she thought she heard the cries of a cat only to discover a child in there.

"I go to mass every day and as usual I was on my way home and because it gets dark early, I was walking on the road," she proclaimed. "I heard the meows and tried to open the lid, but I couldn't," she said.

But at that moment her fantasy tale took a twist as she said a jogger appeared and she stopped him to ask

for help. "He told me, Don't be nervous madam but 'it's not a kitten, it's a baby'," she said, adding that the baby was placed inside a gift bag, which had the handles tied and small holes made in it so he could breathe.

The National Police smelt a rat as they had no reports of any incident anywhere in

the area involving a dumped baby and having heard the media reports, they brought her in for questioning to clarify what actually happened. It was at that point that she broke down and admitted that she had sputtered a lot of porkies that the press printed without the getting the police side of the story.

News

Friday 11th December 2015

London Bound

The King & Queen of Spain will make an official state visit to Britain in March, at the invitation of Queen Elizabeth II. It will be the last stop on their round of official visits to the principal European monarchies, which began with Felipe's coronation a year and a half ago.

The last state visit to the UK by a member of the Spanish royal family took place almost 30 years ago, in April 1986, when King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia spent three days there. The former monarch made a speech to the British parliament and was awarded an honorary degree from the University of Oxford.

The British Ambassador to Spain, Simon Manley, said he was "enormously pleased" by the announcement of the official visit to the UK by the King & Queen and added that "it is a pleasure" that their majesties have accepted the invitation.

Manley went on to say

Pooling Details

The European Union have agreed to share airline passenger details in a bid to improve counter-terrorism efforts. The Passenger Name Record (PNR) system will allow passenger infor-

mation including names, itineraries, contact details and credit cards details to be collected and shared between the appropriate authorities of each member state.

The details would be collected from European flights entering or leaving the EU as well as from those between member countries.

The Spanish Interior Minister, Jorge FernĂĄndez DĂ­az, said that the data collected would only be related to the passengers' journeys - their itinerary, amount of luggage, whether they were travelling alone or accompanied, but under no circumstances would it turn into "an ethnic or racial profile".

37 Years On Spain’s Constitution Day seemed to be quietly commemorated around local municipalities, perhaps because it fell on a Sunday this year. The holiday celebrates what happened after the Franco era when the country needed a new constitution and political system after his death in 1975.

General elections were held on June 15th, 1977, and the newly formed parliament started to draw up a new constitution. The 1978 Constitution was approved by 88 percent of Spaniards in a referendum on December 6th of that year, and that particular day is remembered every year thanks to a national bank holiday. Almoradi, Elche, San Pedro del Pinatar (pic-

that the visit on March 8th would give both parties "an opportunity to celebrate and deepen ties" between the two countries, and highlighted the fact that both nations share "close cultural and commercial ties, as well as mutual interests in investment, security and defence".

Bogus Bobbies

Two men who pretended to be policemen to extort money out of foreign businessmen visiting industrial estates on the Costa Blanca and Murcia, have been arrested by the Guardia Civil in Benidorm.

The two fakers were refused bail when they appeared in court, with the Guardia discovering a large item of stolen items in their home as well as an array of fake police badges and identification, in addition to around five thousand euros in cash from various countries.

The fraudsters would stake out industrial estates all around Alicante Province and Murcia, as well as further north in Valencia, using fake uniforms and cars with bogus number plates. Besides stopping their intended victims, and then stealing their valuables, the two men would not hesitate to use any violence to complete their illegal stop and search.

Space Finder tured) and Torrevieja were some of the municipalities that staged brief ceremonies on Sunday, whilst some areas like Orihuela appeared not to bother.

Torrevieja council has launched a new web page which gives details of parking spaces for disabled people around the city.

You can find the latest listings on the website, www.movilidadtorrevieja.es

Corpse Riddle Police are trying to identify the body of a man believed to be in his thirties that was found floating off Cabo del Pino in La Manga early last Monday morning. The man had long hair and was wearing a shirt and shorts but no shoes, and there was no obvious sign of injury ahead of an autopsy. Authorities say that no missing person matching his description had been reported to them.

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Bumper Flights More than 200 million passengers will have flown in and out of Spain by the end of the year, according to Development Minister, Ana Pastor, with 13 million journeys alone clocked up last month. The country has continued to benefit from increased tourism helped by holiday-makers shying away from areas like Egypt, Tunisia, and Turkey.

Going Wrong Way A driver cheated death as her car came off a bridge on the RM-300 on the outskirts of TorreagĂźera on Sunday lunchtime. The accident on the road to San Javier saw the female driver trapped in the vehicle which plunged down some 10 metres off the structure.

Rescuers from Murcia City freed her with reports suggesting that she was conscious during her ordeal.

No Rock And Roll Falling rocks and debris should be a thing of the past for motorists to endure on the N-340 next to the tunnel at the Sierra de Orihuela. Wire meshing has been put up to stop such unwelcome intrusions onto the carriageway in the future.

Sick Note Change Doctors in Spanish hospital emergency departments can now sign patients off sick from work, saving the hassle of a person booking a GP appointment when he or she is too ill to go to the surgery. The new Bill of Law also means estimated time off can be calculated and stated on a sick note without having to wait first to see how the patient's condition evolves.

These notes will mainly give an 'estimated' time frame, based upon graphs which show the recommended rest period for certain conditions which are likely to cause a worker to be off sick, and the impact of the illness or injury on the employee's actual job.

News

Friday 11th December 2015

Deadly Beauty?

A model accused of shooting dead her British millionaire ex-lover at his holiday home in the Costa del Sol will stand trial charged with murder.

Mayka Kukucova, 25, was extradited from her native Slovakia after she fled Spain following the death of wealthy jeweller Andrew Bush, 48 in April last year.

The Bristol-based busi-

nessman was shot after turning up at his Estepona mansion with his new girlfriend Maria Korotaeva and finding Kukucova, jilted by her alleged victim six months earlier, waiting for him inside.

Kukucova told detectives she shot the dad-of-one in self-defence during a struggle after he fired at her but missed.

The Bare Facts

A couple of hundred naked protestors smeared themselves in fake blood on a cold Barcelona afternoon on Plaza Catalunya last Sunday in protest against animal skins being used in clothes. "For the tenth consecutive year, more than a

hundred people from around Spain and across the world gathered in Barcelona to brave the cold winter temperatures and get naked to protest against the use of animal skin," organisers AnimaNaturalis said on their website.

Plastic Riches

Costa Blanca fishermen have been hired to bring waste plastic out of the sea which will then end up being used in fashion items. For the last four months, 200 boats working out of Villajoyosa near Benidorm have been picking up the plastic rubbish from the Mediterranean which will be recycled into polyester fibres that will be used to make a high-end clothing line.

"We want to present the first fashion collection made with yarn and fabric that come from garbage found at the bottom of the sea in June in Florence," said

Javier Goyeneche, the president of the company behind the project, Ecoalf. The Madrid firm has already launched "a new generation" of clothes and accessories made from plastic bottles, old fishing nets and used tyres found on land.

"Where others see garbage, I see raw material," added Goyeneche.

The fishing boats collected two tonnes of plastic waste, and two tonnes of other garbage, in just two months, said the president of the federation of fisherman of the Valencia region, Jose Ignacio Llorca Ramis.

Windmills Of Their Mind

Two iconic windmills in San Pedro del Pinatar will get an 80 thousand euro makeover next year thanks to a grant from the regional Murcia government. The ten-metre high La Calcetera and Quintin structures are over a hundred years old and were last used in the

seventies. They are deemed as buildings of cultural interest with the structure at Quintin first in line for the renovation work. Murcia's culture minister Noelia Arroyo made the announcement on a visit to the area accompanied by San Pedro Mayor, Visitacion Martinez.

Fake Plaque Claim

A lost Titanic relic which reappeared in Spain last summer is allegedly a fake according to an expert. A plaque commemorating the ship's launch, which had been lost for a century, made big headlines when a Granada art dealer offered it to the Spanish Titanic Foundation. He had apparently inherited it from his grandfather, who – unaware of its importance – had bought it from an English art dealer 12 years previously. The plaque, presented by the

Royal Mail Steamship Union, is currently the star attraction at the Titanic exhibition in Granada.

Dutch designer and self-confessed Titanic fan, David van Dalen says that his close inspection suggests it was a copy made twenty years ago. He noticed a range of historically incorrect characteristics in the many font types used. At least four of the fonts are known to have been released between 1915 and 1989.

Furthermore, several text

lines are either compressed or extended (distorted), an effect produced only by a computer.

Van Dalen added: "Watching this fake Titanic plaque is like watching an obvious fake Picasso painting. Just like the Titanic disaster, lessons must now be learnt the hard way." The president of the Titanic Foundation, Jesus Ferriero, said the plaque will continue to feature in a planned European tour despite the findings.

Dave Silver

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Friday 11th December 2015

A Man Followed By A Horse Walk Into A Bar...

A MAN walks into a bar, trips up and sprawls onto the floor. The barman says to him: 'Why the long lace?'

'That's not funny,' said Dave the barman down at the pub the other evening.

'Yes it is,' I countered. 'It's one of many variations on the original old joke about a horse walking into a bar and the barman asks "Why the long face?"'

Dave the barman shrugged.

'That's not funny either. Why would a horse enter a pub in the first place?'

'Exactly,' agreed Daft Barry.

'And what's more, why is a horse wearing shoes with laces in them?'

I shook my head in frustration. 'That wasn't the horse.

That was the man. You're get-

ting the two jokes mixed up.'

'I also do not see what's funny about a man, or even a horse, sprawled on the floor,' said Ol' Red Eyes who at the time was also sprawled on the floor, his favoured position when sleep overcame him.

I started to feel threatened as the other pub regulars gathered round to participate in the conversation.

'Hands up anyone who thinks Dave Silver is funny,' Indoor Lou said.

Fearful Phil raised his hand.

'What?' said an incredulous Indoor Lou. 'You can't be serious! You really think Silver's funny?'

'Good Lord, no,' Fearful Phil answered Indoor Lou. 'I raised my hand because I was seconding what YOU said -- that

Dave Silver is as funny as an undertaker's parlour.'

I couldn't get my head around what everyone was saying so in desperation I turned to Fag Ash Bill who was standing outside on the pavement lighting up his umpteenth cigarette of the day.

'Bill!' I cried. 'What do YOU think?'

The answer came back more or less immediately between drags on his latest fag. 'I think I'm going to have to quit smoking if I'm to partake in any future pub discussions. It's not good enough that I stand outside trying to listen to what's going on inside. It's very difficult for me to hear anything when those huge lorries go past.'

'Fabulous!' chipped in our

guide and mentor Andromeda Arkwright who had hitherto remained silent.

We pubsters, too, went silent as we tried to figure out what Andromeda meant. After all, we seldom (even never) heard the word 'fabulous' in relation to activities in our hostelry.

'You are all looking puzzled,' Andromeda Arkwright continued. 'But just consider this.

You, my public house friends, are, as we speak, participating in a proper discussion about a real issue, namely: Is Dave Silver a funny guy.

'That is all I've ever desired since I assumed leadership of this group,' Andromeda went on. 'Yes, my pub pals, you are no longer just a bunch of individual weird numpties. You are becoming an assembly of erudite intellectuals.'

We intellectuals stayed silent as we tried to work out what the word 'erudite' meant.

'Wow!' came a nicotinestained set of vocal chords from outside. 'Does that mean I'm an intellectual, too?'

'Yes you are, Bill,' replied Andromeda. 'And what is more, you are perhaps at a more advanced level than the others because you are fully prepared to give up your smoking habit in order to enter the pub legally and participate in our cerebral activities.'

This time there was silence outside -- apart from the sound of a huge lorry going

past.

Then Fag Ash Bill cleared his throat and called out: 'Well, I never said I was fully committed to giving up the fags.

When it comes to smoking, I am rather good at it so why should I abandon something that I have a talent for.'

'Fabulous!' repeated Andromeda. 'As soon as we get the Dave Silver humour issue out of the way, we can then turn to our second topic of discussion: Should Bill stop the cigarettes?'

'Enough! cried a seemingly disembodied voice which did not belong to Fag Ash Bill. The sound was coming from the floor.

'Enough!' repeated Ol' Red Eyes, raising his head onto one arm and blinking animatedly with one rheumy peeper.

'I would like to propose a motion,' he said.

Dave the barman sighed.

'Well, you know where the restroom is. Just don't damage anything.'

Ol' Red Eyes narrowed his open peeper and pointed a shaky finger at Andromeda Arkwright.

'I was the leader of this group until you took over -democratically, I know because I was voted out -- but I now propose the motion that Ms Arkwright be sent packing with a flea in her ear and that I be reinstated as the official guide and mentor of this group of Philistines.'

Dave the barman looked morally conflicted. 'Although Ms Arkwright is the legal pub guardian of you lot, I believe that in the interests of fairness -- indeed, justice -- we should vote on this important issue.

But first, is there a seconder to Mr Red Eyes' proposal?'

'Point of order,' said Andromeda Arkwright. 'I totally believe in our humble little province of constitutional government so I shall make the ultimate sacrifice and second Ol' Red Eyes' motion even though it might result in my banishment from our beloved inn.'

The tension started to mount as all thoughts about my sense of humour and the state of Fag Ash Bill's lungs faded into the ether.

Andromeda spoke again. 'In case of my dismissal, I would like to purchase my final round of drinks for you, my people.'

She produced a handful of banknotes and lay them gently on the bar top.

Without a hint of gentleness, Dave the barman scooped up the money, feverishly counted it and rammed it into his cash till alongside the loose change and the odd tap washer which had hitherto constituted the day's takings.

'All bets are off!' he shouted triumphantly.

'Andromeda Arkwright stays as leader. Ol' Red Eyes stays on the floor.

Ooh, I do love a bit of democracy in action.'

8

Happy Ending

Rojales local police came to the rescue on Wednesday when a dog fell into the River Segura in the town. It all finished well as the officers pulled the wet and furry creature out of the water and reunited it with a very happy and relieved owner.

Dune Boost

Regional public works minister, Maria José Salvador visited Guardamar this week to talk more about his recent announcement about a moratorium on coastal developments for a year in the Valencia region.

The Valencian government says coastal areas have seen too much building over the last two decades, with construction within 10 kilometres of the sea being three and a half times higher than population growth.

The one year pause will affect the approval of development plans involving redevelopment of land, undeveloped land and land being developed within 500 metres of the coast with the minister saying that it was good news for Guardamar’s sand dunes and that he was looking to improve the environment around the River Segura area.

News

Friday 11th December 2015

More To Pedal

Tricky Trio

Three people, including a minor, who stolen jewellery and other items from at least eight properties in the Pilar de la Horadada area have been arrested by the Guardia Civil. The trio also operated in the Torreagüera area of Murcia, with officers recovering a total of 45 thousand euros worth of jewels and other valuables from Work has begun on the second stage of a new cycle network for the Orihuela Costa, which will be built by members of a new employment workshop over the next six months. 35 members of the workshop were visited by Orihuela mayor, Emilio Bascuñana accompanied by local councillors where they were briefed on the 365 thousand euro project.

The first part of the work took place earlier this year with some six kilometres of cycle paths being constructed around La Zenia, Cabo Roig, and Campoamor by a previous workshop team.

The second phase will see the route link from La Zenia to Playa Flamenca and through to Punta Prima, as well as crossing the N-332 over to Villamartin.

two homes, with the property having been returned to their rightful owners.

Two Moroccans and a Spaniard were arrested with the operation focusing on the Spanish resident of Pilar who had a criminal record and would try to flog off the stolen items in the Torreagüera area.

All three have been available to an Orihuela judge.

In Town Today

In The Dock

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy hits Orihuela City and Murcia today (Friday) on the campaign trail with the general election taking place in just nine days time.

Rajoy’s Partido Popular is the leading party in the opinion polls but substantially down at around 26 to 28 percent compared to the 44 percent it polled in the 2011 vote

that saw them oust power from the socialists.

The percentages suggest that the PP will have to reach a deal with at least one other party to stay in power.

Clean Break

San Fulgencio’s mayor, Carlos Ramirez, could be barred from public office for nine years if the public prosecutor gets his way, after a request for the start of a trial to be held at Alicante Provincial Court.

The Partido Popular leader

of the municipality is being accused of allegedly pumping in 190 thousand euro of public money into a private sports club that he is said to own.

Ramirez continues to strenuously denies any charges against him.

Politicians past and present that have been indicted of corruption are to have their names removed from plaques and signs around the Los Alcazares area after a recent council vote. Critics say that it is a stunt by the Partido Popular-led administration which will cost money and is very much aimed at ex-socialist mayor, Juan Escudero (pictured), who with other past councillors and officials is accused of a multi-million euro corruption scandal, known as Caso Ninette. Investigations started a decade ago with the court case still to begin.

News

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Friday 11th December 2015

The Family Way

On Hold

A limited daily opening to the general public of Torrevieja’s historic Eras de la Sal has been delayed until a proper maintenance and cleaning system is put into place, according to Parks and Gardens

councillor, Domingo Soler.

The area should have been opened up last month, with in recent years, regular access only available for cultural events like the annual Habaneras music competition.

Revamp Starts

A father and daughter couple from Mallorca are trying to keep their recently born baby, which has been removed from them despite the fact that incest is not illegal in Spain. The 36-year-old father and his 18-year-old daughter, Sara, had a baby in midNovember, with officials not

letting the baby leave the hospital as they had concerns for its wellbeing.

"They told us it is immoral and that what we have done is wrong, although on paper they put something else because legally they cannot say they are taking the girl away because it is an

immoral relationship, the father, 'Cris', told local newspaper Cronica Balear.

Authorities maintain that the 'relationship between the parents is irrelevant' but that the 18-year-old's mother had aimed abuse at the father and four younger children that Cris was also the father of.

Work began on Wednesday on site clearing for the new hotel and spa complex on the site of the old Arenales del Sol hotel which faces onto the local Arenales beach. The eight million euro project will revitalise the former Costa Blanca landmark which has been empty since 1979. The development from the Princesol company will

see the structure turned into a four-star resort complex with 101 bedrooms, as well as restaurants, bars, function rooms, and spas which will be open to non-residents. 40 people will be employed by the hotel with another 200 indirect jobs. The plan is for everything to ready for the first customers in the summer of 2017.

Carols Tonight Around fifteen hundred people are expected to pack into Torrevieja’s Plaza de la Constitucion for the annual Carols in the Square concert this evening (Friday) which starts at half past five.

The Phoenix Concert Band will provide the musical accompaniment with The Rascals amongst the local groups and choirs taking part.

Sewer Busters

A fleet of sewer cleaning drones is being tested in Barcelona to spruce up the city’s network of tunnels. If the pilot scheme is successful, there are plans to wheel out the concept across Spain.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Cheers Everybody!

A bumper sum of fifteen hundred euros has been raised by the customers of Bar Kenz at San Luis, Torrevieja for the cancer charity fundraisers, Maria and the Pink Ladies.

The money was raised thanks to the generous customers supporting the weekly card bingo, as well as the race nights in addition donations to the charity tin.

Remembered

Almost There

Age Concern’s quest to get a new minibus is almost there, thanks to a 500 euro donation from the RAOB Washing Lodge. It means the charity only needs another one and a half thousand euro to get to their 30 thousand euro target, with a chance that they’ll be able to order the van next month!

Meanwhile the Age Concern Centre in La Siesta, Torrevieja will close for the holidays on Wednesday December 16th, and will reopen on Thursday January 7th, whilst their charity shops in Torrevieja and Los Montesinos will have a seasonal break between December 22nd and January 6th.

Local & News

Beauty Delivers

The Alzheimer’s Society and Age Concern are just two of the local charities that will benefit from the well over three thousand euro raised by

last month’s performances of the Stagestruck pantomime, Sleeping Beauty, at the Cardenal Belluga theatre in San Fulgencio.

A new charity shop selling furniture, clothes, shoes and other high-quality large items is officially opening at Gran Alacant this coming Tuesday (December 15th) at noon to raise money for the Rojales-based Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre. The new store will open behind a

much smaller rescue centre charity shop, which has proven so successful since its launch about 18 months ago that a bigger space is needed.

Taffeta, a miniature pony rescued in 2008, will be the star guest at the opening ceremony.

Star Opening

Diana’s Donated

Samaritans in Spain have been paying tribute to one of our founder members and current board member, Wendy Jung, who passed away in the UK recently. Her extensive work for the charity

included becoming secretary of the Board of Trustees in 2012, and she played a big part in setting up the centre at Punta Prima, as well as being considered a wonderful friend by fellow volunteers.

Diana the Elephant has a new home courtesy of the La Siesta Ladies Friendship Group in Torrevieja, with chairperson Jean Wallace handing her over to the APANEE charity for the youngsters to enjoy at the Torrevieja Centre for Learning Difficulties. The Friendship Group recently raised just under eighteen hundred euros for local charities at their Turkey & Tinsel Fayre in La Siesta.

Friday 11th December 2015

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Pets

Friday 11th December 2015

Pets Help You Snooze

If you find a good night’s sleep difficult, then sleeping with a pet might well help!

Research from the Mayo Sleep Clinic has found that a number of people reported sleeping better when their pet slept close to them.

The clinic questioned 150 study participants, 49 per cent of who reported owning pets.

More than half of those animals slept in the bedroom or on the bed and 20 per cent of pet owners did complain that the animals interrupted their sleep with

behaviour such as 'wandering', 'snoring ' 'voiding needs' and 'whimpering'.

However, a large number of respondents said that having their pet in the bedroom or on the bed didn't cause any problems - and many said it was an advantage.

One 64 - year-old woman commented that "she felt more content when her small dog slept under the covers near her feet," said study author Lois Krahn.

A recent study of 23,000 dog owners found that more that half people let their pets sleep on their beds.

A Dog’s World Is Very Different

The outside world is an exciting or even scary place for a dog, and we should consider all of those when we take our dog for a walk, as we venture outdoor for the third of our walking features.

All the things we take for granted can be a complete mystery to them: cars, bikes, other dogs, cats, joggers, horses - to name just a few.

Any of these can lead a dog to react by barking, pulling, jumping up or refusing to move. Everyone believes their dog loves going for walks and hopefully, most of them do because it's a fun experience. But if your dog does show any of the reactions listed, then this may well be a sign that he is really quite anxious about being outside. Look for excessive panting too. If it can't be explained by the dog being very hot or physically tired, it may be a sign of stress. He shouldn't be panting when walking at normal pace over a reasonable distance in moderate temperature.

If you have done your preparations at home that we’ve talked about in our last

two articles, then your dog should be ready to trust that you are in charge, will make all the decisions and protect "the pack" when outside too.

Your confidence, or lack of it, will be recognised by your dog and will determine how well or how badly the walk will go. So you will decide where you will go, what the rules are while you're out and when it's time to go home again. This means you need to be ready for anything and be prepared to be flexible so that you can change your planned route if circumstances require. Be on the lookout for potential problems and pay attention to what's going on around you - which you can't do if you're concentrating on something else like talking on the phone or listening to music. And if you've worked hard at getting ready to go out calmly, don't spoil it by letting your dog pull you when you get outside. Keep up the stopping, starting and changing direction every time the dog starts to pull.

Similarly, if your dog jumps up or bites at the lead, pay no attention (i.e. no speaking

or eye contact) until he stops then move on. And having practised going out of the door before the dog, the same applies outside with gates, narrow spaces and corners: you go first to check it's safe.

If your dog reacts to any of the triggers listed above (or anything else), don't make him confront them in order to overcome the fear. What this does is confirm to your dog that a) his reaction causes the threat to eventually go away and b) he's protecting the pack, not you. In any animal, fear or stress causes the hormone adrenaline to flow around the body and this creates three possible responses: flight, freeze, fight. So how does this work when walking your dog and he sees/hears/smells something he's not sure about?

His first choice should be flight, i.e. get away from it.

But if he's on a lead and you're taking him towards this "threat" that removes the flight option. His second choice would be freeze. But again, if you're continuing to walk your dog towards this

possible threat, that's not an option for him either.

Therefore, he's only left with fight and so the lunging, growling, barking etc. starts.

So before it gets to that stage, use the option that he would choose for himself and walk calmly but purposefully away from whatever it is. If your dog tries to protest, don't tell him off or reassure him with baby talk, but keep walking and either say nothing or just say something like "come on, let's go" in a calm, matter-of-fact voice.

This shows your dog that you're not bothered about this thing and your decision is to simply walk away. It also breaks the cycle of your dog believing he has to bark, lunge etc. to make the threat go away as he'll start to realise it goes anyway. If space is limited, and you have nowhere to flee to, use freeze by moving away from the oncoming threat, putting yourself between it and your dog, preferably with your dog facing away from it (particularly important with other dogs to avoid direct eye contact between them) and wait until they've gone before moving on. If possible, distract your dog with treats or a toy. This acts as a reward for not reacting to the threat and also allows time for the threat to pass without your dog having to go through his usual repertoire. By the time he looks for it again, it's already gone. At all times, your calm reactions will be of enormous help to your dog and these situations will get easier to deal with each time. Our final set of walking tips will be in next week’s Courier.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

BENJI Benji's been in a foster home with us for quite a while. His owner sadly passed away and his owner’s wife was taken into a care home.

Benji is around five years old and great with other dogs and cats. He is one of the most gentle dogs we have had and will make a wonderful companion.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

MANDY Mandy is a beautiful five month old pup, who is very intelligent and sweet. She is very good with the other dogs and cats that she is currently being fostered with.

Mandy is lots of fun and just wants to play and loves getting attention. For more info on Mandy please phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

MARTHA Rescued by APAH in October 2012, when she was only a few weeks old, Martha is now over three and is still waiting for her chance in a loving home. She is a very well behaved dog and loves the company of both people and other dogs. To arrange to meet Martha and the rest of her brothers and sisters, who are also still available for adoption, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

MINDY Mindy is an adorable four month old pup that was found abandoned. She is now ready to go to a home of her own.

Mindy is such a sweet gentle dog and we do not think she will grow very big. Mindy gets on very well with other dogs and does not seem bothered by cats. For info, please phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or send an email to p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

MYRTLE Myrtle was brought into the SAT kennels in Dolores with some of her siblings. Their mother was unknowingly pregnant when she was rescued and had a litter of eight.

The litter is now five months old and are ready for adoption. For more details please contact the kennels in Dolores on 966 710 047 or send an email to info@satanimalarescue.com

PATCHES Patches is a beautiful and friendly cat with a big problem, she hates cats!!! She is only a young cat and was rescued by APAH with four tiny kittens, but she is living in the Cattery's office because she cannot get along with APAH's other cats.

Patches loves people and would be a wonderful companion for someone with no other cats. To meet Patches, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

Friday 11th December 2015

13

Get Those Spanish Sentences Together

Let’s start with the translations for last week´s sentences, looking at adverbs, I hope you managed to get them all right: we eat chocolate once in a while – comemos chocolate de vez en cuando, sometimes we go to the beach after studying – a veces vamos a la playa después de estudiar, we sleep during the daytime and we work during the night – dormimos de día y

trabajamos de noche, at last I was able to get in the university – al fin podia entrar en la Universidad, the book is at home – el libro está en casa, I left the money somewhere – yo dejé el dinero en alguna parte, one can´t find so many waterfalls anywhere else – no se ecuentran tantas cascadas en ninguna otra parte, I have sometimes thought about you – a veces he pensado

en ti, she studies well – estudia bien, I read a lot – leo mucho, have you ever been to the theatre? – ¿alguna vez has ido al teatro?

We are now slowly beginning to put words together in the correct order and making a basic sentence which we can make more interesting by adding adjectives and adverbs. So a basic sentence: José corre can

become, José corre por la calle, and then, José corre rápidamente por la calle larga, and finally, Por la noche José corre rápidamente de la calle larga y oscura. This is a simple sentence, in that there are no conjunctions or joining words, if you want to make a compound sentence you can do it in the same way: using one of the linking words, such as porque, así, y, pero, and

aún, for example: Juan canta y María toca el piano.

And finally there is a complex sentence, which is a simple sentence which can stand on its own and then a clause which cannot, for example: Leonardo de vinci es el pintor de ´La Mona Lisa´, el cual es mi cuadro favorito. The first part of the sentence ´Leonardo de Vinci is the painter of ´The Mona Lisa´ is an independent clause, in that it stands on its own, however, the second part ´which is my favourite painting´ is dependent because it needs something else. As you can see in these ways Spanish and English aren´t so very different, but unfortunately it doesn´t stay that simple and we will get on to more difficult constructions in future articles.

I hope you are beginning to think about putting sentences together now, rather than just say one or two nouns or adjectives I hope you´re thinking about putting verbs in your sentences. The one thing I notice when I listen to English people who don´t have a basic grasp of Spanish but know a few words, is that they sometimes use the few that they do know regardless of whether it actually makes

sense, or they intersperse their English with the occasional Spanish word, thinking that a non-English speaker is going to understand them. Luckily here in Spain at the moment there is a big need for speaking English and so many Spaniards do have at least a basic knowledge of the language, however this shouldn´t mean that you can sit back on your laurels and rest, we live in Spain and you never know when you are going to need the language. I hope you´ve seen over these past few weeks that putting a sentence together needn´t be a nightmare, stick to the basics and you will be understood, then you can progress to more complicated structures.

Remember when you´re talking to add a verb, take your time at first to think about what you want to say, practice at home, even if you´re only speaking in the mirror! At the end of the day the more you speak the better you will become.

Next week we will carry on with making sentences, in the meantime, keep practicing and using your Spanish as much as possible, and make your new year´s resolution to be a better speaker of this fantastic language.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

Stupid School Loses The Plot Teachers have an almost impossible task these days trying to cope with unruly pupils; under pressure constantly to achieve; coping with ever increasing pressures from pushy parents; and have politicians changing the rules almost overnight. It's one profession I wouldn't ever contemplate.

But sometimes I despair

at ridiculous decisions of head-teachers, especially when it comes to allowing pupils to take a day off school to attend a family funeral. I just cannot believe how a school in the UK could be so cruel to an 11-year-old pupil. Ella Bryn attends an Academy in Sevenoaks, Kent, and when her great-grandfather died she asked to be able

to attend his funeral. What happened next put appalling pressure on her as she was told her entire class may miss out on an end-of-term treat if she spoiled her attendance record by going to her great-grandfather's funeral!! Ella originally decided to attend school instead of going to the funeral - but after walking to her local bus stop she had a 'complete breakdown' before returning home, got changed and went to the funeral instead.

Ella's mother, Dr BrynJacobsen said her grandfather, for whom she was next of kin, passed away very suddenly. "We saw him a week before he died.

The children were very close to him and very proud of him." He was a WW2 veteran. Dr Bryn-Jacobsen is a patent attorney and even her case at the European Patent Office in The Hague was postponed on news of her grandfather's death, making the school's ridiculous decision even more galling for the family.

Frankly, I think the headmistress and teacher who made this crazy decision and put so much pressure on an 11-year-old child should be publicly reprimanded. There should be no question of children not being able to attend a funeral of a relative or close friend and no school should have the right to prevent it or put any pressure on a child not to attend. The sooner the UK government puts a stop to this barmy nonsense the better.

There are some thoughtless, insensitive and just plain hateful people in the world, and this has been highlighted to us all in the last few days. Firstly we have heard of the dreadful social media attacks which have been made against the "rebel" Labour MPs who "dared" to vote against their leader Jeremy Corbyn and opted for bombing IS areas in Syria. Now, we know that MPs are not the

most-loved people in the world, but they don't deserve what was meted out to them. Many tweets were abusive; some were far worse and threatened the lives of their wives and children. There is absolutely no doubt that the left in politics (and no doubt the right too) have collected to their ranks the very worst of humanity and these have been radicalised just as much as those who have let religion take over and then warp their minds.

Social media has allowed people to vent their hatred in their own homes. This low-life has destroyed many lives already, through bullying of vulnerable children and adults and there is a strong argument that it needs much more policing than it has now.

Another example of the antics of low-lifers has come with the news that people have been giving overweight people travelling on the Underground the most abusive leaflets, calling them fat, ugly humans.

These leaflets have criticised the money spent on these individuals and their over-eating while others starve - forgetting that obesity is just as much an illness for many as anorexia and bulimia. This level of abuse demonstrates just how uncaring and intolerant some Brits have become, in danger of undermining the whole fab-

ric of civilised living.

You see it happening all the time - able-bodied people driving into spaces in car parks reserved for disabled people. It may be slightly more understandable if the culprit was an elderly person, unsteady on the feet and in pouring rain.

But when it's a super-fit footballer with his model wife, aged 34 and 29, acting with total arrogance, even parking straddling the parking bay lines, it makes my blood boil. The culprit?

Peter Crouch, the Stoke City striker, caught on camera by another shopper and it went vital on social media and in the press last week.

Football managers should insist that players set an example on and off the pitch and I hope Crouch is "fined" a few weeks’ pay by his club for his total irresponsibility. Finally, which is the car most likely to be driven by the most arrogant? I bet you're thinking a Merc? Yup, that's what Crouch was driving and a 4x4 to boot. Need I say anything more?

If you want to change people's anti-social behaviour, then hit them in their pockets. It's worked amazingly well with the introduction of the five pence charge for plastic bags in England - something that should have happened years ago, as it did here in Spain. One supermarket has reported a near 80 per-

cent drop in the use of new bags since the charge came in over two months ago. Brilliant for the environment and it should make a huge improvement in the amount of rubbish, creating eyesores in England. It is amazing that a mere five pence charge can make such a difference. Just imagine what would happen if people were hit in the pockets big time to stop more antisocial problems - like failing to turn up for doctors' and hospital appointments; stuffing their faces with fatty foods and sugary drinks; excessive drinking and smoking in public; or failing to clean up after dirty dog! The list is endless.

Perhaps it's time Spain introduced an army of wardens to tackle anti-social behaviour.

And finally, I've been called to task by the wife because "I don't write about nice things". Her words not mine. So here's something nice. Owners of a Russian zoo decided that their tiger needed food, so they put a live goat in the tiger pen.

They thought the goat would disappear inside the tiger's stomach within hours. But instead the goat and the tiger have become firm friends, walking around their enclosure together. It was shown on TV with the goat showing absolutely no fear of the tiger and the carnivore valuing the goat as a friend rather than a meal.

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Homes & Gardens

Friday 11th December 2015

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Decorate Your Home for Less You can still make your home festive, even on a budget Christmas can be a lavish and expensive time, but with so much being spent on a short holiday, saving a few coppers here and there can always add to the purse and could mean a Little extra to spend on someone special, or yourself, or it could mean you have a Little more set aside for the new year.

Decorations don´t have to break the bank either and they can be a fun and entertaining way of spending time with the family, young and old, as you can all get involved in creating your own winter wonderland. Here are a few of our top tips for home-made decorations.

Create a simple, festive wreath by simply gluing gift bows (new or used) of various colours onto a Styrofoam wreath.

Alternatively, you can simply cut a circle shaped out of a piece of cardboard for the same effect.

Cut a piece of felt into a mistletoe shape and glue beads or fake pearls onto the stem to create an alternative to the natural plant. Finish off with a piece of red ribbon and hang somewhere to grab your kissing victims.

Tie a wide ribbon around your throw pillows and add a festive themed box and they'll look just like Christmas gifts ready to go under the tree! Add a rhinestone pin for an extra decorating kick.

Cut a plastic drinking bottle in half and then glue candy canes to the outside. You could also use striped of festive drinking straws, tie together with a red ribbon, and fill with artificial (or real) poinsettias.

Dip pinecones in gold paint (either partially or all of the way) or use a mixture of water, glue, and glitter for a sparkling effect.

Place on side tables or use to fill baskets and bowls, you can also do the same with nuts for a festive feel.

Make festive paper chains by cutting strips of wrapping paper, then simply glue a loop together, and then string another paper strip through to make a chain and repeat the process until you reach the length you need.

Homes & Gardens

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Friday 11th December 2015

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Friday 11th December 2015

Homes & Gardens +

Christmas Markets In Europe The best Christmas markets in Germany, Austria, France, Sweden and beyond

Glühwein or Glögg?

Gingery Lebkuchen or torrone? Santa or St Nick? All across Europe, the season of Christmas markets is approaching. Large and small, they promise conviviality, special food, drink, music and more. Best of all, each reflects the culture of the region. So, choose a market for your mood and head off for a jolly weekend break.

Austria: Innsbruck November 15–January 6 Gemütlichkeit (think warm glow; cosy fires) – and plenty of it – is on offer in this small city surrounded by mountains. Of the half-a-dozen

markets, the most romantic is in the Altstadt, lined with medieval houses. Stalls are piled with gingerbread, wooden toys and delicate ornaments, made of handblown glass. At dusk, trumpeters play carols on the 500-year-old Golden Roof.

Try the Kiachln, Advent doughnuts, served hot, with cranberry sauce. On the narrow Kiebachgasse, fairy-tale characters, such as Rapunzel peer down from the windows. At weekends, ride the funicular up Nordkette mountain to Hungerburg. After tasty treats at this little market, ride to the top of the

Hafelekar for views of twinkling city lights and snowtipped peaks.

France: Angers November 28 – December 27.

In France, good food is a passion and the Soleils d’Hiver (Winter Suns) festival in Angers is a gourmet’s delight. The Place du Ralliement, in front of the theatre, offers a cornucopia of delicious things to eat, not just from the Loire Valley, but all over France. Sip vin chaud (hot mulled wine); nibble on nougat; lick pommes d’amour, much more romantic-sounding than toffee apples, non? But there is more: children ride the

carousel and little train; grown-ups look for perfect gifts in chic boutiques on nearby lanes. And over by the 13th-century fortress is the Maison des Vins co-op, where bubbly costs about a fiver a bottle. As Angers is handy for the Channel ports, take the car and load up for Noël.

Germany: Hamburg November 23 – January 6 For sheer diversity, Hamburg is hard to beat. In this historic port, 15 different markets cater to all tastes.

Traditionalists head for the square in front of the grandiose city hall, where the rows of stalls are themed, from sweet treats (cakes, chocolates and more) to crafts (leather, silver, tree ornaments). Children are entranced by the Spielzeuggasse, the Toy Street, full of playthings from around the world.

Romantics opt for the Jungfernstieg market, whose focus is on posh food and gifts; crowdavoiders choose the smaller Fleetinsel market by the water, where fairy lights twinkle on two antique sailing vessels. Strictly for over-18s is the risqué Santa Pauli market on the X-rated

Reeperbahn.

Italy: Bologna November 17 – January 7 Forget “Merry Christmas”; in Bologna, “Buon Natale” is the greeting you hear in the seasonal markets that add a buzz to the heart of this ancient city. Spreading alongside the 12th-century San Pietro Cathedral is the Fiera di Natale; the smaller Antica Fiera di Santa Lucia centres on the cloister of the Santa Maria dei Servi church. Although fun things to buy include glass Christmas decorations and mechanised Nativity scenes, Bologna is synonymous with good food. Mouthwatering temptations are everywhere, from realistic

fruits, made from marzipan and citrus peel dipped in dark chocolate to torrone, a festive-season nougat made with nuts and honey. What

could be better for stocking fillers? Or for the person who has everything?

Sweden: Stockholm November 21–December 23 Although the first Christmas market on Stortorget square in Old Stockholm was held 500 years ago, the modern event dates back “only” a century.

In front of the Nobel Museum, close to the Royal Palace, the cheerful stalls are filled with crafts made only in Sweden, such as glass, pottery and jewellery.

Prices are surprisingly affordable, ranging from £1 to £75. To keep children happy, tickets for the tombola are priced at just a few pence. Grownups sip glögg (mulled wine); everyone munches pepparkakor, thin ginger biscuits. With a dusting of snow, it all looks like a Christmas card, Scandinavian-style.

Be sure to bring home a taste of Sweden: saffransbullar (saffron buns) and vacuum-packed sausages made of – don’t tell the children – reindeer meat.

Friday 11th December to Thursday 17th December 2015

2 - The Courier TV Pull-out

Space and Time - Whatson´s Choice

Okay, I´m not going to get all Christmassy again this week. Apparently some of you didn´t appreciate my singing. I am going to get spacey this week though, as we go out of this world with a couple of great shows from beyond the planet. Oh, I just realised, I could have gone all “War of the Worlds” instead, “No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century”, okay, maybe not then.

Who didn´t want to be an astronaut when growing up? Maybe it´s a generation thing, those of a certain age can remember looking back on the moon landing and being in awe of what was achieved. Others believe it was all fake of course, and then there are those who think space exploration is all a big waste of money that could

be spent elsewhere, like right here on our own planet, but in BBC Two´s How to be an Astronaut, Tim Peake takes us on a journey into the life of a seemingly normal p e r s o n about to become a spaceman.

Then, we go looking at the stars with Professor Brian Cox and Dara O´Briain as they watch Tim blast off into the sky on his way to the International Space Station. Hopefully the experience will enthuse a new generation into the world of science and exploration, even if it is done from the comfort of an arm-

How To Be An Astronaut Sunday BBC Two For almost two years, flagship BBC Two science strand Horizon has had unprecedented and unique behind-the-scenes access to Tim Peake as he prepares for the mission and the launch from the Baikonur Cosmodrome.

Narrated by Tim, this Horizon provides an intimate portrait and a remarkable insight into the world of an astronaut: their hopes and fears, how they deal with risk, the pressure they are under to do the job right and just how much of an honour it is to do it.

It also features several NASA and ESA trainers, along with Tim's mission crew members, NASA astronaut Tim Kopra and Roscosmos Cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko. Both have flown before and both have experienced spacewalks during construction of the Space Station (Yuri even married in Space in 2003).

Horizon also has exclusive access to Tim’s own video diary. At Star City in Moscow, he films every aspect of his training ahead of his launch in a Soyuz

rocket (a rocket based on a 1960s nuclear missile) - providing fantastic insight into life on board the International Space Station, spacewalks and the science he will be performing.

The programme reveals how he is fitted for a bespoke capsule seat and suffers up to 8Gs in a centrifuge, and the hours spent in the cramped capsule itself, running through drill after drill to make sure everything goes to plan.

The programme also exclusively features Tim’s wife Rebecca and their two sons, as they prepare for six months without their husband and father.

chair, at least for now.

The big news of the week is the return of Luther.

Expected to be one of his deepest and darkest stories to date, we see a gruesome serial killer take to the streets, but with Luther on leave, how on earth could a n y b o d y track down and stop this brutal reign.

If you´re looking for something lighter then how about The World According to Kenny Everett? It was 20 years ago that the radio and TV star died and the show on ITV on Sunday looks back at his life and his world, from his eyes, including some rare home footage,

interviews and a deep insight into his life.

Whilst we´re on the subject of looking back, You Saw Them Here First returns once again this week taking some of our favourite celebrities through their own TV history, showcasing their first time in front of the cameras.

Now, I have to run away and get my writing and colouring pencils out because next week I have got more to tell you as it will be our bumper Christmas edition. More pages than ever to fill, which means more great features about your TV highlights for Christmas. So, with that, I say tatty bye my friends, tatty bye, and I will see you next week when I just might dress up special for the occasion, you´ll have to wait and see!

Blast Off Live Tuesday BBC One Following the success of the eclipse coverage on BBC One, Stargazing Live returns to the daytime schedule for a momentous one-off national celebration, as Tim Peake blasts off to the International Space Station.

Hosts Professor Brian Cox and Dara O Briain will present the programme from the Science Museum in London, where thousands of schoolchildren and VIPs will come to share in the excitement of launch day. They'll be joined by a team of experts as the countdown clock ticks down to blast off just after 11 o'clock.

Space fanatic Dallas Campbell will report live from a prime position at the launch site in Kazakhstan.

He’ll reveal just how Tim's rocket has been assembled and chat live to an astronaut who knows Tim intimately, after spending years training alongside him.

Back in London, Dara and Brian will be joined by Chris Hadfield, the former commander of the International Space Station, and the man made famous for his rendition of David Bowie’s Space Oddity. He’ll provide fascinating insights into life in

space and the dangers and difficulties of getting there.

Newsround’s Leah Boleto will discover just what Tim’s body will go through on his trip to the ISS. She'll show how those of us who aren't lucky enough to go into space can experience exhilarating g-forces and weightlessness, just like Tim. The programme will bring the key moments of the launch to life, from the extraordinary way the Soyuz capsule navigates thousands of miles to reach the ISS to the incredible emergency escape system which has saved astronauts’ lives.

As the programme goes live, Tim will be perched on top of hundreds of tonnes of highly flammable rocket fuel, strapped in to his seat in the Soyuz capsule. And thanks to tiny cameras installed inside the rocket viewers will be able to see live pictures of Tim - not only waiting to blast off, but also as he zooms at hundreds of miles an hour through the sky to reach orbit.

Luther

Tuesday BBC One Golden Globe winning actor Idris Elba reprises his iconic role as DCI John Luther, in a new two-part story starting this week.

Luther's back. Pitted against his most chilling adversary yet, haunted by the ghosts of his past and hell-bent on retribution, he’s drawn into a terrifyingly complex case that pushes him closer to the edge than he’s ever been.

On a leave of absence from the police force, Luther is laying low in a rundown cottage on the edge of England.

But a visit from his old colleagues at the Met brings a shocking piece of news that draws him back to London in search of the truth.

Meanwhile, a gruesome serial killer has struck the city.

With a trail of clues leading from one crime scene to the next, Schenk and his team must work out the twisted logic that connects each victim. But this murdering mastermind is more than a match for the police, outsmarting them at every step.

It’s not long before Luther is back in the Bullpen, determined to steal a march on the killer before it’s too late.

Idris Elba says: "It’s great we’ve been able to do this Luther special. John is so close to my heart, he’s part of me. The fans won’t be disappointed with his return – it’s explosive and definitely goes up a gear!"

Written and created by Emmy nominated Neil Cross and directed by Sam Miller (No Good Deed, Fortitude) this Luther special also stars Rose Leslie (Game Of Thrones, Downton Abbey), Laura Haddock (Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Inbetweeners Movie), Darren Boyd (Fortitude, Spy), John Heffernan (Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Ripper Street) and Patrick Malahide (Indian Summers, The Paradise), with Michael Smiley and Dermot Crowley returning as Benny Silver and DSU Martin Schenk respectively.

The Executive Producer is Elizabeth Kilgarriff for BBC Drama Production, England. Elizabeth says: “It’s very exciting to have Idris Elba back as DCI John Luther and to be in east London shooting the show’s fourth instalment. Neil Cross has pulled out all the stops to make this the biggest, scariest story yet and it’s a privilege to welcome such a glittering array of acting talent to our already stellar cast.”

You Saw Them Here First

The World According To Kenny Everett

Sunday ITV In a one-hour special on ITV, we take a look back at classic ‘Kenny’ moments from his successful TV and DJ career. We explore the life and work of this comic genius through to his tragic

death in 1995, as we are guided through moments of his life in his own words through astonishing radio interviews and extraordinary never before seen home movie footage.

Included within the programme is truly astounding exclusive interviews with some of the biggest names in comedy, music, television and radio as well as remarkable revelations from the people who loved him and knew him the best.

Kenny’s first boyfriend and ex manager to The Beatles, Peter Brown reveals in an exclusive interview about his relationship with Kenny. Also Kenny’s ex-wife Lee Everett Alkin herself divulges in a special interview how Kenny’s proposal came about thanks to John Lennon, the reservations she had about marrying him and talks openly about Kenny’s sexuality, their wedding and the time they had together as a mar-

ried couple. Plus in a candid interview with close friend Cleo Rocos she describes the remarkable relationship she had with Kenny and the upsetting moment he told her he was HIV-positive.

The World According To Kenny Everett is the definitive tribute to a comedy genius whose influence then and now is a continual inspiration to entertainers and whose unique contribution to comedy is still playing an important role today.

Wednesday ITV Back with a brand new collection of 'before they were famous' TV appearances and some very special visitors to our unique time travelling video booth.

This time Coronation Street’s Jane Danson, Emmerdale’s Chris Chittell and Eastenders’ Jake Wood all get personal screenings of the TV shows they made before starring on the nation’s biggest soaps.

Comedy actresses Maureen Lipman and Jane Horrocks re-live their earliest appearances on stage, screen and TV adverts!

And if you want to see a young Rita Ora acting, a teenage Graham Norton chatting or Hollywood heartthrob Jamie Dornan modelling his way to the top, then tune in and you’ll soon discover just where you saw them first.

Friday 11th December 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Oxford Street Revealed 08:45 Flog it! Trade Secrets 09:15 An Island Parish: Falklands 09:45 Great British Menu 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:45 Pressure Pad 15:30 The Great British Bake Off 16:30 The Great Antiques Map of Britain 17:00 The World’s Most 17:30 Photographed Wogan: The Best of 18:15 20:30 A Question of Sport Bargain Hunt 19:00 Strictly Sue Barker hosts the light- Come Dancing: It Takes Two hearted sports quiz 20:00 Celebrity Antiques 21:00 EastEnders Denise Road Trip Nick Hewer and is surprised when a familiar Margaret Mountford, face returns to the square become rivals as they uncover collectibles 21:30 Citizen Khan In line with the great tradition of 21:00 Mastermind Quiz British Muslim baking, Mr Khan enters the Great 21:30 An Island Parish: Sparkhill Bake Off Falklands It is midwinter and the Rev Richard Hines 22:00 Have I Got News for and vet Steve Pointing are You Paul Merton and Ian limbering up for the ultimate Hislop are joined by guest Falklands Islands challenge host David Mitchell - the midwinter swim

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Sister Rita to the Rescue 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Oxford Street Revealed 12:45 13:15 Finders Family Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Home 16:40 Country Comforts at Christmas 17:25 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

22:30 Peter Kay’s Car Share Kayleigh is running late, but John is determined to get to work on time 23:00 News 23:35 The Graham Norton Show 00:25 Josh 00:55 Film The Double (12) 02:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:30 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale Ashley has a blackout and stumbles during Bob’s birthday hunt, leaving him helpless until he comes across a car.

Later in the pub, Bob is alarmed when he realises that Ashley hasn’t come back.

At the hospital, a doctor explains to Ashley that he had a mini-stroke, but he makes a hasty departure from the wards on his own.

Morning Good 07:00 Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Ashley is determined to hold his own 20:30 Coronation Street Rob drops a bombshell on Johnny Italian Gino’s 21:00 Escape: Islands in the Sun Gino reveals how Sicily’s fascinating history has influenced the food the locals eat and the ingredients they use 21:30 Coronation Street Can Kylie keep Sarah’s secret?

22:00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Actor Timothy West joins Piers Morgan to look back on his fivedecade long career. The former EastEnders star speaks candidly about his 22:00 Alex Polizzi: Hire 52-year marriage to Fawlty Our Heroes Alex works to Towers actress Prunella find employment for jobless Scales, and how her battle military veterans with dementia has changed their lives 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 00:00 Artsnight 00:30 Film - 23:00 News and Weather 02:25 23:40 Film - 300 (15) 01:45 (18) Frenzy 03:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Time Question Imagine 04:30 This is BBC Kyle USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen Two A worried Bob is about to tell Harriet the truth when Bob suddenly returns, saying he got waylaid with parish business..

Meanwhile, Ross is looking after Moses and agrees to let a desperate Emma take him for a while. Emma wants to make a deal where she gets to look after Moses regularly, but Ross makes her swear that Debbie won’t find out.

In Coronation Street, When Rob phones Tracy from prison, Tracy agrees to visit again but asks him to send the visiting order to the shop so Ken doesn’t find out. At the same time,

secretly hoping to impress Liz, Johnny splashes out on a new shirt for the engagement party.

Later, Johnny visits Rob in jail. As Rob drops a bombshell on Johnny, he’s left reeling from Rob’s shock revelation.

Meanwhile, Sarah is clearly in turmoil and Kylie is suspicious. Kylie rifles through Sarah’s handbag and finds the name of the

The Courier TV Pull-out - 3

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Jamie at Home Christmas Special 13:00 News 13:05 Couples Come Dine with Me 13:45 Racing: Cheltenham 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 TFI Friday The new series of Chris Evans’ entertainment show continues, from its new home in central London, with new features, raucous stunts and an array of guests, including Martin Freeman, Idris Elba, Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott, James Bay, and Rita Ora and Sigma 22:00 Gogglebox Britain’s favourite opinionated TV viewers share their sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s biggest and best shows 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 First Dates 01:10 That’s So Last Century 02:10 Film - The Host (12) 04:15 Four Rooms 05:10 You Deserve This House abortion clinic. Confronting Sarah, Kylie asks her if she’s pregnant. Will Sarah reveal the truth?

In part two, Rob makes it clear to Johnny that he knows all about his past.

He threatens to blackmail Johnny, telling him that he wants £10,000 or he’ll spill the beans to Carla, Aidan and Kate. Johnny leaves rattled.

As the engagement party gets under way at the Bistro, Carla grabs a word with Johnny, desperate to know what Rob wanted.

Johnny covers by telling her that Rob simply wanted to know what was going on with the factory.

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Film Hats Off to Christmas 14:30 News 14:35 Neighbours 15:05 Film - Mr St Nick (PG) 16:45 Film Twelve Trees of Christmas (U) 18:30 News 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 News 20:00 World’s Ultimate Strongest Team 2015 Eight two-man teams from around the world come together at Britannia Stadium in Stoke to battle it out for the world title, and try and break some world records along the way 21:00 Ice Road Truckers (PG) The truckers fight through a fearsome storm and Art, Todd and Lisa all have to risk their trucks and their lives 22:00 Star Wars: A Definitive History Documentary taking a behind-scenes look at how a multi-billion pound movie franchise came to be 23:00 How Star Wars Changed the World 23:55 Greatest Sci-Fi Movies 01:25 Film - Alien Hunter (15) 03:00 Super Casino 05:00 Kids’ Hospital at Christmas 05:45 House Doctor However, Liz senses there is something bothering Johnny.

In Eastenders, It’s Vincent’s birthday and Kim gives him a rather odd present. During Vincent’s birthday party, he receives a call from his police contact Pike.

Later, after a successful party, Kim finds an unopened present and is horrified by the contents.

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 You’ve Been Framed 07:35 Psych 08:20 Emmerdale 09:25 The Hot Desk 09:35 The Cube 10:40 Psych 11:35 Film Holiday Engagement (PG) 13:25 Emmerdale 14:30 You’ve Been Framed 14:55 Catchphrase 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Dark Knight (12) 01:00 Film - Pitch Black (15) ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:40 Murder, She Wrote 09:35 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Wycliffe 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:05 Cold Blood 01:35 Film The Constant Gardener (15) 03:50 Judge Judy 04:10 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale Omnibus ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 07:50 The Professionals 08:45 Minder 09:50 Alias Smith and Jones 10:50 Gunsmoke 11:55 The Professionals 13:00 Kojak 14:00 Minder 15:05 Pawn Stars 15:35 Alias Smith and Jones 16:40 The Professionals 17:45 Film The Secret War of Harry Frigg 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars Texas 22:00 Film - Red Sonja (15) 23:55 Film - Kull the Conqueror (15) 01:50 Film - Texas Killing Fields (15)

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Saturday 12th December

4 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen 12:30 Simply Nigella 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Lewis Hamilton: Making History - F1 2015 Review 15:00 Bargain Hunt 16:00 Film - - Toy Story (PG) 17:15 Final Score 18:15 Celebrity Mastermind 18:45 News 19:00 Pointless

07:05 Race to Super Bowl 50 07:55 Film - Anything But Christmas 09:25 Ray Special Harryhausen: Effects Titan 11:00 Animal Kangaroo 11:30 Park Dundee 12:00 Ronnie’s Animal Crackers 13:00 at Comforts Home Christmas 15:15 Len and Food Big Ainsley’s Adventure 16:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 16:30 Escape to the 19:50 Strictly Come Country 17:15 Flog It 18:15 Dancing Tess and Claudia Football: Euro 2016 Draw invite you to join them for 19:30 The Great Pottery Throw Down the semi-final of Strictly Come Dancing!

20:30 Japan: Earth’s Island Enchanted 21:30 Casualty Connie’s Documentary series explordetermined not to bring her ing the wildlife of Japan personal life into work, but in doing so she dismisses 21:30 Army Dad’s Mainwaring sets up an Jacob’s correct instincts observation post in the 22:20 The National lighthouse Lottery Live The National 22:00 QI XL Stephen Fry Lottery Live muddles through the mid22:30 Mrs Brown’s Boys dle show of the middle series of QI Christmas is just around the corner and Agnes already 22:45 Top of the Pops 2 A has her tinsel in a twist. special Christmas edition of Top of the Pops 2, 23:00 News 23:20 Match of the Day 00:40 The 23:45 Film - The Prestige Apprentice 01:40 Weather (12) 01:50 Film - The for the Week Ahead 01:45 Winslow Boy (PG) 03:30 This is BBC Two News

07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Oddbods 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Super 4 08:40 Mr Bean 09:00 The Aquabats!

Super Show 09:30 Thunderbirds are Go 10:00 Jessie 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:20 Jeremy Kyle 13:30 News 13:35 Jeremy Kyle 14:40 Judge Rinder 15:40 Film - The Polar Express (U) 17:30 Doc Martin 18:35 Regional News 18:45 Catchphrase 19:45 News

07:15 King of Queens 08:30 Anglesey Sandman Triathlon 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 The Morning Line 11:00 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 The Simpsons 14:30 Channel 4 Racing: Cheltenham and Doncaster 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:30 News

07:00 Milkshake 09:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:30 The Saturday Show 12:30 Film - Santa Who? (U) 14:20 Film - The Perfect Holiday (PG) 16:10 Film - The Nine Lives of Christmas 17:55 Film - Once Upon a Christmas (PG) 19:35 News 19:40 Fail Army

14:40 Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas 15:40 Scorpion 16:35 You’ve Been Framed 17:35 Take Me Out 18:45 Film - Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (U) 20:40 Film - Back to the Future Part III (PG) 23:05 The Xtra Factor 00:05 Celebrity Juice

20:00 The World’s Weirdest Weather The series that explores the world’s most remarkable weather phenomena continues

20:05 Police Interceptors Jon puts his body on the line as he tackles a drunken yob

ITV3

21:00 Grand Designs Kevin meets The Denbys, 20:00 The Chase: who are demolishing their Celebrity Special Bradley mock-Georgian home on Walsh hosts as four celebri- an exclusive south London estate to replace it with a ties take on the Chaser contemporary mansion 21:00 The X Factor This year’s competition enters 22:00 Film - Red 2 (12) its final stage as each of the Retired CIA agent Frank final three contestants per- Moses reunites his unlikely form at the SSE Arena, team of elite operatives for a global quest to track Wembley down a missing portable nuclear device 23:05 The Jonathan Ross Show 00:10 News 00:30 00:15 TFI Friday 01:20 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Adam Hills: Happyism Live 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 02:15 Chatty Man 03:10 Jeremy Kyle USA 04:45 Fargo 04:20 Hollyoaks ITV Nightscreen Omnibus

21:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away Stewart and Ian head to Nottingham to recover a debt of nearly £3,000 in unpaid rent 22:00 Football League Tonight Extended highlights of the weekend’s top matches, including Hull City v Bolton Wanderers and Middlesbrough v Birmingham City 23:25 The Definitive History of Star Wars 00:25 How Star Wars Changed the World 01:25 The Gadget Show 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 Crackers About Christmas 05:00 Kids’ Hospital at Christmas 05:50 Make it Big

13:50 Agatha Christie’s Marple 15:55 A Touch of Frost 17:55 Columbo 20:00 Rosemary and Thyme 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Lewis 01:05 A Touch of Frost ITV4 13:35 Film - The ‘Burbs (PG) 15:35 Film - Blues Brothers 2000 (PG) 18:00 The Car Chasers 19:00 Fifth Gear 20:00 Storage Wars New York 21:00 River Monsters 22:00 Film - Hard to Kill (18) 00:05 Film - The Quest (18)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 13th December 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets Lord Ashdown 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:15 Saving the Forgotten Jews 14:45 Lifeline 14:55 Flog It 15:45 Film - Toy Story 2 (U) 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:50 The Hunt 18:50 News 19:20 Countryfile 20:20 Strictly Come Dancing Tess and Claudia welcome you to the big one - it’s the Results Show which reveals the four couples that will reach the Grand Final of Strictly Come Dancing

07:00 A to Z of TV Big 07:45 Gardening Dreams Small Spaces 08:45 Countryfile 09:45 An Parish10:15 Island Saturday Kitchen 11:45 Home Comforts 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Film Jason and the Argonauts (U) 15:45 Family Finders 16:15 Escape to the Continent 17:15 Athletics: European Cross Country Highlights 18:20 Film Nativity! (U)

07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Oddbods 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Super 4 08:40 Mr Bean 09:00 The Aquabats!

Super Show 09:25 Oddbods 09:30 Marvel Super Heroes: Maximum Overload 10:00 Jessie 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:25 Jeremy Kyle 13:30 News 13:40 Film - Evil 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Under the Sun (PG) 16:00 Road Trip With Ainsley The X Factor 18:00 Film Harriott and Anne Diamond The Scorpion King (12) 19:35 News 21:00 Horizon A look at Tim Peake as he prepares 20:00 Jekyll and Hyde to become Britain’s first Robert and Ravi race astronaut on board the against time to find the parInternational Space Station asite-infected Jack

07:15 King of Queens 07:40 Asics Beat the Sun 2015 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:00 The Simpsons 16:00 Film Marley and Me (PG) 18:20 Aladdin (U) 20:00 News

07:00 Milkshake 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Football League Tonight 13:00 Fail Army 13:35 Film - The Christmas Shepherd (U) 15:20 Film - Meet the Santas (PG) 17:05 Film Mrs Miracle 2: Miracle in Manhattan (PG)

20:30 Britain’s Wildest Weather 2015 This documentary provides a raw, unmediated look at the most extreme weather to hit Britain in 2015. From remote islands to the biggest cities and most beautiful national parks, the programme meets the plucky Brits who filmed themselves as they faced the worst the British weath21:00 The X Factor er could throw at them Results Show This year’s competition comes to a 22:00 Homeland Allison close with the results from finds herself being interrogated. the live final

19:00 Film - A Country Christmas Story (PG) Uplifting festive drama following a teenage girl from a small Appalachian town who sings in the church choir and dreams about becoming a country music star

23:00 The World According to Kenny Everett 00:00 News 00:15 The Chase 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 ITV Nightscreen

23:00 Gogglebox 00:05 Film - Mama (15) 01:55 Grand Designs 02:45 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 03:40 Four in a Bed

21:00 Antiques Roadshow Antiques Roadshow makes a return 22:00 Monty Don’s Secret visit to Balmoral History of the British Garden How the nation’s 22:00 The Hunt This final gardens have evolved over episode of the series visits the last hundred years the frontline of the conflict with the world’s top preda- 23:00 Professor Green: tors Suicide and Me 00:00 Film - Seven Years in Tibet (PG) 23:00 News 23:30 Match of 02:10 Countryfile 03:05 the Day 2 00:40 Citizen Holby City 04:05 Home Khan 01:10 Weather for the Comforts 04:50 This is BBC Two Week Ahead 01:15 News

14:20 The Xtra Factor 15:20 Merry Christmas Mr Bean 15:55 Film - Ella Enchanted (PG) 17:50 Catchphrase 18:50 Film Peter Pan (PG) 21:00 Film - The Nutty Professor (12) 23:00 The Xtra Factor 00:00 Film - Keith Lemon: The Film - (15) ITV3 13:55 Columbo 15:55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 17:55 Midsomer Murders 20:00 Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Midsomer Murders ITV4

20:35 Film - Scrooge (U) It’s Christmas Eve and the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge dismisses the festivities around him as humbug, until he is visited by some very persuasive ghosts 22:55 News 23:00 Film The Blind Side (12) 01:25 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 01:55 Super Casino Teen Danger: 04:10 Bingers 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make it Big

13:35 Pawn Stars 16:05 Film - No Name on the Bullet (U) 17:45 Film Jeremiah Johnson (PG) 20:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 21:00 Football Dream Debuts 22:00 Film - The Day of the Jackal (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 14th December

6 - The Courier TV Pull-out

Street Oxford 07:00 Revealed 07:45 Family Finders 08:15 Flog it! Trade Secrets 09:15 Caught Red Thief 09:45 Handed Trackers 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:45 Pressure Pad 15:30 The Great British Bake Off 16:30 The Great Antiques Map of Britain 17:00 The Most World’s 17:30 Photographed Wogan: The Best of 18:15 19:00 Hunt 20:30 Fake Britain Matt Bargain reveals the dog breeder Eggheads 19:30 Strictly producing pups with fake Come Dancing: It Takes Two pedigrees

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Meet the Street 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Oxford Street Revealed 12:45 13:15 Finders Family Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Home 16:40 Country Comforts at Christmas 17:25 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

Berry’s Mary 21:00 EastEnders With 20:00 Christmas suspicions growing, the Absolute pressure grows for Vincent Favourites Mary shares a indulgent of selection 21:30 The Taliban Hunters recipes for the festive perijoins od, Azhar Mobeen Superintendent Ijaz and his team as they try to regain 20:30 Only Connect Quiz control of the city from the show Islamic fundamentalists.

Postponed from December 21:00 Simply Nigella Nigella shares her foolproof 7th guide to stress-free festive 22:00 Crimewatch How cooking 22:00 Back in Thames Valley Police have Time for Christmas The pieced together the remains Robshaws time-travel by of a body found in Bracknell experiencing what the holiin July in the hope of dis- day season was like in the 1940s, ‘50s and ‘60s covering its identity

23:35 News 23:00 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 00:30 The Graham 01:15 Show Norton Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20 News

23:00 Live at the Apollo 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 The 01:15 Horizon Apprentice 02:15 Home Comforts 03:00 The Great Pottery Throw Down 04:00 This is BBC Two

SOAPS

tion in front of the packed church.

As silence descends, everyone awaits Ashley’s answer, but will he accept?

In Emmerdale, Harriet starts to spread the news that she is going to propose to Ashley during the carol service. However, unbeknownst to her, Ashley has confided in Bob about how he’s preparing to dump her as he doesn’t want to become a burden to her in the future.

Later at the service, Harriet pops the big ques-

Meanwhile, Diane has chemotherapy and thinks the man next to her is familiar. She realises that he is Chas’s ex-husband Gordon, who’s there because he has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

In Coronation Street, Todd reminds Sarah how

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Jamie’s Cracking Christmas 13:00 News 13:05 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas 14:05 Come Dine with Me 20:00 Emmerdale Jai 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 promises a fresh start Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 20:30 Coronation Street Couples Come Dine with Sarah faces a tough deci- Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 sion News 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News

21:00 The Martin Lewis 21:00 Dispatches Antony Money Show This edition Barnett examines the sysshows how to haggle prices tem that grants royal wardown when buying online rants and asks whether some holders are falling 21:30 Coronation Street below the quality mark Dee compounds Michael’s guilt 21:30 Supershoppers Do 22:00 Las Vegas with Trevor Mcdonald Trevor tracks down Andrew Didonato, a former New York mobster who is now in hiding and about to quit town for a new life - but will his girlfriend go with him?

Over on the Strip, the Riviera - a casino hotel that once played host to Elvis and the Rat Pack - is shutting its doors for the final time 23:00 News and Weather 23:40 The Nation’s Favourite Beatles Number One 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle 04:55 ITV Nightscreen devastated she was when she lost baby Billy and implores her to think twice about her abortion. As Sarah heads off for her appointment at the clinic, Todd confides in Kylie that he thinks she’ll regret her decision.

Kylie finds Sarah at the clinic and implores her to keep her baby, reminding her that Max is Callum’s son too but she loves him.

Kylie tells Sarah that her baby could be the one good thing to come out of the whole sorry mess. As the nurse calls Sarah through, she’s torn over what to do...

In part two, Todd calls in the salon and suggests to David and Kylie that Sarah

Christmas Andi Osho and Anna Richardson return to present the inside scoop on Britain’s biggest brands and retailers in time for the Christmas shop 22:00 Our Guy in Latvia Guy Martin makes a personal journey to uncover the truth about his Latvian grandfather who died nine years ago 23:00 Fargo 00:05 24 Hours in A and E 01:05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 01:55 The Undateables 02:55 Film - Anton Corbijn Inside Out (15) 04:20 Location, Location, Location 05:15 You Deserve This House needs their support now that she’s pregnant.

Having overheard every word, a shocked Bethany stalks out of the salon.

Interrupting Sarah’s lunch with Audrey and Gail, Bethany plonks herself down and announces that Sarah is pregnant with Callum’s baby. Audrey and Gail are gobsmacked and lay into Sarah, wondering how she could be so stupid. .

In Eastenders, Vincent confronts Ronnie about the gift that was left for him after his birthday party, but whether she was really to blame is another matter.

Soon afterwards, Vincent returns home and finds delivery men trying to drop off an order of turf. Vincent

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 Christmas with the Wright Stuff 12:45 Film - A Perfect Christmas 14:30 News 14:35 Neighbours 15:05 Film Angels and Ornaments (PG) 16:45 Film - The Christmas Switch (PG) 18:30 News 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 News 20:00 Police Interceptors An illegal car operation, a bizarre late-night compost thief, a trucker with a violent temper, a cruel animal blood sport, an unexploded bomb and some very cute calves just some of the things dealt with tonight

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:25 Psych 08:10 Emmerdale 08:40 Coronation Street 09:40 The Cube 10:40 Psych 11:30 Catchphrase 12:30 Best of You’ve Been Framed 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 15:00 Catchphrase 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film American Pie: The Wedding (15) 00:00 Film Pitch Black (15) 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Scorpion ITV3

21:00 Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show 22:00 Benefits: Life on the Dole Documentary about people living on benefits in Portsmouth Chris lives at home with his dad, his collection of energy drink cans and his moped. He is looking for work, but claims that there are more shops closing down than opening up 23:00 The Best of Bad TV: The 70s 01:50 Super Casino 04:10 Meet the Psychopaths 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor denies any knowledge of the order, but Claudette smells a rat. It seems that Claudette was right to be worried when two men suddenly arrive and attack Vincent.

When Claudette finally realises what’s going on, she forces Vincent to admit that he’s been working as an informant for the police. A furious Claudette warns Vincent that he’s no longer her son.

07:00 Judge Judy 07:20 George and Mildred 07:45 Heartbeat 08:50 Murder, She Wrote 09:40 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 12:00 A Touch of Frost 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 Wild at Heart 16:15 Where the Heart is 17:20 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Kindness of Strangers 01:35 Wild at Heart 02:35 Wycliffe ITV4 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:50 The Professionals 08:50 Minder 09:55 Alias Smith and Jones 11:00 I Want That Car 12:00 The Professionals 13:00 Kojak 14:00 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 Kojak 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars New York 22:00 Film - The Game of Death 00:05 Bundesliga 01:05 Motorsport UK 02:05 Ax Men 02:50 Minder 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Tuesday 15th December 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Meet the Street 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:30 Blast Off Live: A Stargazing Special 12:15 Oxford Street Revealed 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:40 Home Comforts at Christmas 17:25 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Stacey opens up to Dot about what happened on Halloween 21:00 Holby City Fran escalates her campaign against Jac, with disastrous consequences 22:00 Luther On a leave of absence from the police force, Luther is laying low in a rundown cottage on the edge of England. But a visit from his old colleagues at the Met brings a shocking piece of news that draws him back to London in search of the truth 23:00 News 23:35 Sports Personality - The Final 12 00:35 Live at the Apollo 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Harriet has taken her things over to Edna’s house after yesterday’s events. After fielding questions from Sandy, who doesn’t understand his behaviour, Ashley takes the kids out of school on a complete whim for a winter picnic.

He is seemingly determined to give them some happy memories.

When

Nicola

clocks

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Oxford Street Revealed 08:45 Family Finders 09:15 Ireland with Simon Reeve 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 2015 Review 14:45 Pressure Pad 15:30 The Great British Bake Off 16:30 The Great Antiques Map of Britain 17:00 The World’s Most Photographed 17:30 Wogan: The Best of 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Stargazing Live: Brit in Space Live coverage of British astronaut Tim Peake’s arrival at the International Space Station 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Semi-final of the culinary competition 22:00 Back in Time for Christmas During their trip from the 1970s to the 1990s, the Robshaws discover how the race for a Christmas number one single was born 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Race to Super Bowl 50 01:05 The Hunt 02:05 Home Comforts at Christmas 02:50 The Naked Choir with Gareth Malone 03:50 This is BBC Two

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Diane makes amends with Chas Ashley struggles

The Courier TV Pull-out - 7

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Jamie’s Festive Feast 13:00 News 13:05 Kirstie’s Crafty Christmas 14:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News

21:00 Midsomer Murders When a woman is crushed to death by a giant round of cheese at the home of the world-famous Midsomer Blue, Barnaby and Jones are soon on the case

20:00 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights Documentary following four UK households as they transform their subur21:00 Kirstie’s Handmade ban semis into a glittering Christmas Christmas is festival of Christmas lights almost here, and in the last episode before the main 21:00 The Dog Rescuers event Kirstie demonstrates at Christmas Inspector how last minute effort can Lauren Bailey journeys to have a huge impact Lapland to discover how 22:00 The World’s Most one dogsled organisation Expensive Christmas is blazing a trail for working Following suppliers who huskies. Meanwhile, Emily work for the super-rich, Collins attempts to rescue Pomeranian including Frances unloved Hallworth-Noble’s London Freddie, left abandoned in Concierge Company, who disgusting conditions, and offer a bespoke service to Pug puppy Ruby prepares clients who are too busy to for her first proper manage the details of their Christmas with Lauren own lives, 22:00 Meet the 23:00 That’s So Last Psychopaths Prof Maden Century 00:00 Tattoo explores what happens Fixers 01:00 when psychopaths gain PokerstarsCom Shark Cage 02:00 KOTV Boxing positions of power

23:00 News and Weather 23:40 The Jonathan Ross Show 00:45 Freeze Out 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen

23:00 CSI: Cyber 00:50 Benefits: Life on the Dole 01:45 Super Casino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor

20:30 Countrywise Series celebrating rural Britain Ben Fogle is on Dartmoor with the search and rescue dog team, putting his own dog Storm to the test. Paul Heiney heads to Dorset to meet a man rescuing and restoring shepherds huts.

Meanwhile, Liz Bonnin travels to the stunning northern coastline of Wales and visits an island kept just for seabirds

Weekly 02:25 Gillette World Sport 02:55 Anglesey Sandman Triathlon 03:20 Asics Beat the Sun 2015 04:15 Benchmark 05:05 Location, Location, Location

Laurel’s fond look towards Ashley, Laurel is forced to admit that she is still in love with him. Nicola decides that she will get them back together by the end of the year.

Later, Mick notices that Linda isn’t herself as she keeps snapping at people.

When he confronts her, she finally admits that she can’t go through with the wedding.

Meanwhile, James invites Pete to move back in, explaining that he can have Ross’s old room rather than stay in the caravan. Pete knows that Emma is going behind James and Debbie’s back by taking care of Moses in secret, but she begs him to keep quiet.

Meanwhile, after the nativity play, Stacey opens up to Dot about how she saw a vision of her dad on Halloween. As Stacey says a prayer, she’s startled to once again spot mysterious stranger Kyle, who was lurking on Halloween.

At the Mental Health Unit, Chas is pleased but nervous when Diane pays her a visit. Will Diane mention that she has seen Gordon? Later, Diane makes a big decision.

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 Christmas with the Wright Stuff 12:45 Film Christmas at Cartwright’s (U) 14:30 News 14:35 Neighbours 15:05 Film - Mr Miracle (U) 16:50 Film - A Grandpa for Christmas (PG) 18:30 News 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 News

In Eastenders, Babe is keen to make amends with Linda. When Linda finds a dishevelled Cora in the alley next to The Vic, she attempts to get through to the council to find her somewhere to live. She doesn’t have any luck, so Babe comes up with an idea and enlists the help of various residents. The group soon find themselves taking over the council’s Christmas lunch and refuse to leave until they agree to house Cora.

In Holby City, Fran ramps up her manoeuvres against Jac, and when she raises the possibility of a formal complaint from a patient’s sister, Hanssen has to take her concerns seriously.

Serena’s disappointed when her daughter bails out of their planned Christmas together. Raf and Fletch are also dreading the festivities, but perhaps Serena has the perfect solution?

In the first flush of love, Dominic’s keen to buy the perfect Christmas present for Lee with the help of a willing patient. However, a shocking revelation leaves him reeling.

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:30 Psych 08:10 Emmerdale 08:40 Coronation Street 09:40 The Cube 10:40 Psych 11:35 Film - Secret Santa 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 15:00 Catchphrase 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Holiday (12) 00:40 Two and a Half Men 01:45 The Vampire Diaries 02:45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:40 Murder, She Wrote 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:30 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 Wild at Heart 16:15 Where the Heart is 17:20 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 Meet the Penguins 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Kindness of Strangers 01:30 Where the Heart is 02:30 Wycliffe ITV4 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:50 The Professionals 08:50 Minder 09:55 Alias Smith and Jones 10:55 Pawn Stars 11:50 The Professionals 12:55 Kojak 13:55 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 Kojak 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 22:00 Film - 6 Bullets (15) 00:20 Film The Quest (18) 02:15 Ax Men

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Wednesday 16th December

8 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Meet the Street 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Oxford Street Revealed 12:45 Family Finders 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:40 Home Comforts at Christmas 17:25 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Cuffs An ex-squaddie suffering from PTSD loses his grip on reality and endangers the team. As Jake realises he can’t trust his lawyer boyfriend, Robert is forced to confront the consequences of his marital betrayal 22:00 The Apprentice As the battle for the £250,000 investment reaches its end, the five remaining candidates must face the formidable interview process with four of Lord Sugar’s trusted advisors In the boardroom. Lord Sugar selects his favoured finalists, while the others reach the end of the road 23:00 News 23:35 The Apprentice: Why I Fired Them 00:35 Film - 2015 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 News

SOAPS

07:15 Operation Meet the Street 08:00 Oxford Street Revealed 08:45 Flog it!

Trade Secrets 09:15 Simply Nigella 09:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 Lifeline 14:10 Coast 14:15 Britain’s First Photo Album 14:45 Pressure Pad 15:30 The Great British Bake Off 16:30 The Great Antiques Map of Britain 17:00 The World’s Most Photographed 17:30 Wogan: The Best of 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Journey Down the Yukon One of Britain’s most wounded soldiers takes on a mission to canoe down Canada’s Yukon River 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Semi-final 22:00 Love You to Death Seven women are killed every month by their husband, partner, or ex-partner Vanessa explores the untold human stories behind this statistic 23:00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Monty Don’s Secret History of the British Garden 01:15 Home Comforts 02:00 World’s Weirdest Events 03:00 This is BBC Two afford it.

Later at the village hall, Zak hears Joanie singing on stage and becomes even more smitten with her. Afterwards, Zak and Joanie kiss when they get a moment alone, until Joanie comes to her senses and scurries off.

In Emmerdale, Joanie is concerned that she has nothing to wear for the village hall opening, so Zak offers to take her into town so that she can buy some new clothes. As their chemistry simmers, Joanie tries on a gorgeous dress but it’s way out of her price range. Zak makes a grand gesture by secretly buying it for her, but Joanie knows he can’t

Meanwhile, Pete bumps into Debbie and hints that Ross isn’t being completely honest with her. Soon Debbie is on the case, confronting Ross over what he’s been doing.

How will Emma feel when Debbie heads round to knock their cosy little arrangement on the head?

Elsewhere, Harriet tells

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Zak helps Joanie fight her stage fright 20:30 Coronation Street Bethany is shocked to learn Sarah’s secret 21:00 You Saw Them Here First A new collection of TV appearances made by stars before they became household names 22:00 Prey When his pregnant daughter Lucy is kidnapped, prison officer David Murdoch is forced to drive inmate Jules Hope to the man holding her captive. Unaware of the danger to Lucy, DS Susan Reinhardt tries to figure out why Murdoch is behaving totally out of character. A shocking revelation leaves both Murdoch and Jules unsure of who is holding Lucy and the hunt takes them to Blackpool 23:00 News and Weather 23:40 Being Kevin Pietersen 00:40 Tipping Point 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Ejector Seat 04:50 ITV Nightscreen Ashley that she’s going away for a while. At the same time, Laurel plans to put Ashley out of her head and asks Nicola not to play cupid. Despite this, Nicola engineers a reason for Laurel and Ashley to have coffee together, but will it work?

Also today, Brenda cuts the ribbon and declares Gennie’s memorial playground open.

Finally, Jai swears to Megan that he wants to be a better person. She later tells Sam that she might stick around after all as she no longer has to hide her pregnancy and wonders if she can co-exist with Jai after all.

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Jamie’s Christmas with Bells On 13:00 News 13:05 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 14:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 The Supervet Professor Noel Fitzpatrick pushes the boundaries of veterinary medicine, and treats an Alsatian puppy that needs surgery on his hips and front leg using ground-breaking cell treatment 22:00 24 Hours in A and E Twenty-two-year-old motorcyclist Adam is brought to A&E after crashing into a car and being thrown 30 metres 23:00 Peep Show 23:30 Toast of London 00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:05 Best Before 01:30 Film Jennifer’s Body (15) 03:20 Film - Robin and Marian (PG) 05:10 Location, Location, Location In Coronation Street, Sarah apologises to the nurse and rushes out of the clinic with Kylie. Back at the Platt house, David is annoyed with Kylie for doing a runner from the school play. However, when Sarah explains the full story, David can’t believe it.

As Kylie assures Sarah that she has their full support, David is horrified over the baby news and a row breaks out. Will Sarah decide to go through with an abortion, or can Kylie convince her to keep the baby?

Meanwhile, Robert is perturbed when he finds out from Carla that her brother

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 Christmas with the Wright Stuff 12:45 Film - The Nine Lives of Christmas 14:30 News 14:35 Neighbours 15:05 Film - Once Upon a Holiday 16:45 Film - A Star for Christmas 18:30 News 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 News Crazy My 20:00 Obsession Christmas First of a two-part documentary about people obsessed with the festive period, beginning by folfour American lowing households who take decorations to the extreme Behind GPs: 21:00 Closed Doors Leslie has suffered tummy pains for years, and Dr Pearce suspects chicken nuggets are to blame and Lucy worries that her bloated stomach is ovarian cancer 22:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll at Away it Take Christmas The agents grapple with emotional evictions and moral dilemmas as a young family are made homeless 23:00 Suspects 00:00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 01:45 Super Casino 04:10 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild UK 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor Rob has been in touch with Johnny. When Robert tells Tracy that Rob has been in touch with Johnny from prison, will Tracy come clean about her own visit to her ex?

Elsewhere, Dee tracks down Michael and presents him with her father’s cufflinks, telling him that she’d be flattered if he’d wear them to the awards ceremony he is still keen to avoid attending.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:25 Psych 08:10 Emmerdale 08:40 You’ve Been Framed 09:40 The Cube 10:40 Psych 11:35 Film - Merry in-Laws 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 You’ve Been Framed 15:00 Catchphrase 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film Love Actually (15) 00:45 The Vampire Diaries 01:40 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:00 Animal Practice ITV3 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 George and Mildred 07:35 Heartbeat 08:40 Murder, She Wrote 09:35 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Wycliffe 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 On the Buses 18:20 George and Mildred 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Long Lost Family 22:00 Christmas Epic Fails 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Wycliffe 01:10 Film The Rebel (U) 03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen ITV4 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:50 The Professionals 08:45 Minder 09:50 Alias Smith and Jones 10:50 Pawn Stars 11:50 The Professionals 12:50 Kojak 13:55 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 Kojak 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Fifth Gear 22:00 River Monsters 23:00 Film First Blood (15) 01:05 Film - The Day of the Jackal (15) 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

The Courier TV Pull-out - 9

Thursday 17th December

20:30 EastEnders Stacey learns a shocking truth

07:00 Oxford Street Revealed 07:45 Family Finders 08:15 Flog it! Trade Secrets 09:15 MasterChef: The Professionals 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:45 Pressure Pad 15:30 The Great British Bake Off 16:30 The Great Antiques Map of Britain 17:00 The World’s Most Photographed 17:30 Wogan: The Best of 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two

21:00 Eat Well for Less at Christmas Gregg Wallace and greengrocer Chris Bavin don their Santa hats to help the Goff family save money and time this Christmas

20:00 Ronnie Barker: The Many Faces of A portrait of Ronnie Barker, a quiet, dedicated actor who went on to become one of the country’s favourite comedy stars

22:00 DIY SOS The Big Build Nick Knowles travels to Holmfirth to meet Richard Ford who suffered a devastating brain-stem stroke in 2012, and is now confined to an electric wheelchair. The DIY SOS team and designer Charlie Luxton turn up to transform the family’s home, planning to give Richard the privacy he needs while also assisting his recovery

21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals Semi-final of the culinary competition

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Meet the Street 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Oxford Street Revealed 12:45 Family Finders 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:40 Home Comforts at Christmas 17:25 Flog It 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show

23:00 News 23:35 Question Time 00:35 This Week 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Emma is still furious with Debbie for cutting Moses out of her life and seems determined to gain access whatever it takes. With a new plan in mind, Emma visits Charity in prison and makes an offer - hoping that Charity will hand over full custody of Moses in exchange for a favour. How will Charity react?

Later, Emma returns to the

22:00 The Great British Bake Off Christmas Masterclass Mary and Paul are back to bring a generous dollop of baking cheer to Christmas this year 23:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Journey Down the Yukon: A Soldier’s Challenge 01:15 The Taliban Hunters 01:45 Home Comforts 02:30 David Gilmour 03:40 This is BBC Two village and drunkenly hassles Debbie, who is inside with Sarah bathing young Moses. Emma shouts abuse up at the bathroom window, spoiling for a fight. When Emma takes it one step too far by entering the house, Debbie leaves the bathroom to deal with her. However, suddenly Sarah screams and Debbie is horrified to realise that something has happened to Moses in the bath...

In part two, Debbie is panicked over Moses, who has been pulled from the bath water. Paramedics are later called, but will Moses be okay?

In Coronation Street, Tracy visits Rob in prison again and admits how

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News 20:00 Emmerdale Emma puts her plan into action 20:30 Tonight Jonathan Maitland investigates how Britain’s cabbies are under threat from Californian tech company Uber 21:00 Emmerdale A terrified Kerry prepares for surgery 21:30 Coronation Street Rob vows his revenge 22:00 The Nation’s Favourite Bond Song For over 50 years, the James Bond films have provided some of the most memorable and exciting songs in movie history.

This 90-minute special tells the stories behind 20 of the very best as it counts down to the nation’s favourite. There are interviews with the people who have written Bond songs - including Sir Paul McCartney, Duran Duran and a-ha 23:30 News 00:15 The World According to Kenny Everett 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen much she misses him.

She assures him that there has been nobody else in her life, but Rob knows she is lying and masks his contempt.

Meanwhile, Michael admits to Gail how he is dreading the awards ceremony and wishes he had the courage to come clean. As the ceremony gets under way, Michael arrives at the last minute and Eileen is relieved to see him. However, as Billy reads out the Good Samaritan nominees, he’s

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Jamie’s Christmas with Bells On 13:00 News 13:05 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 14:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Deal or No Deal 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 Christmas with the Wright Stuff 12:45 Film - Twelve Trees of Christmas (U) 14:30 News 14:35 Neighbours 15:05 Film The Wishing Tree 16:45 Film - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (PG) 18:30 News 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 News

21:00 The Secret Life of Children at Christmas The children reunite to put on their own version of the Nativity play

21:00 Alex Polizzi’s Italian Islands In southern Sicily, she visits a subterranean cathedral carved from salt, drops in on a family friend in the island of Pantelleria, and experiences the delights of a fiesta in the fishing village of San Vito

22:00 First Dates ‘Tis the season to be jolly as Christmas arrives at the First Dates restaurant.

Maitre d’ Fred and his team host a special festive party to celebrate the love that blossomed this year, with a host of familiar faces 23:00 Very British Problems at Christmas 00:05 Gogglebox 01:10 24 Hours in A and E 02:05 Liberty of London 03:00 Embarrassing Bodies 03:55 Unreported World 04:20 Dispatches 04:50 Location, Location, Location 05:45 Deal or No Deal interrupted by the arrival of Dee with her neighbour Pat in tow. Pointing an accusing finger at Michael, Pat confirms that he’s the man who burgled Dee’s house. How will Michael react?

In Eastenders, Stacey remains anxious over the stranger who is following her. When Jean and Ollie arrive, Stacey opens up to her mum over what’s going on. The day then takes a dramatic turn when Jean reveals that she still has the key.

Meanwhile, Mick tries to get to the bottom of Linda’s change of heart over the wedding. Linda insists it’s because of the money and refuses to change her mind, so Mick

20:00 Crazy Christmas Compulsives Concluding episode of a two-part documentary featuring people who are always in the holiday spirit

22:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Snow Ben meets a 40-year-old former communications manager who gave up her old life to train huskies in the Swedish Arctic Circle 23:00 Christmas on the Poverty Line 00:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away at Christmas 01:00 Super Casino 04:10 World’s Ultimate Strongest Team 2015 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor calls a family lunch to break the news.

However, their planned announcement is disrupted when Lee reveals that he found Nancy’s Qu’ran, leaving the Carters to wonder if Nancy is going to marry Tamwar.

Elsewhere, Vincent prepares to leave Walford.

Later, he gives Ronnie a threat that she can’t ignore, so she’s forced to tell Phil to leave Vincent alone.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:25 Psych 08:10 Emmerdale 08:40 Coronation Street 09:10 You’ve Been Framed 09:40 The Cube 10:40 Psych 11:35 Film - Holiday Engagement (PG) 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 You’ve Been Framed 15:00 Catchphrase 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 Celebrity Juice 00:00 Film Keith Lemon: The Film (15) 01:50 Two and a Half Men 02:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records ITV3 07:00 Judge Judy 07:20 George and Mildred 07:50 Heartbeat 08:50 Murder, She Wrote 09:45 Where the Heart is 10:45 Judge Judy 12:05 A Touch of Frost 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 Wild at Heart 16:20 Where the Heart is 17:25 Rising Damp 17:55 On the Buses 18:25 George and Mildred 19:00Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Film - If I Had You (PG) 01:00 A Touch of Frost ITV4 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:50 The Professionals 08:45 Minder 09:50 Alias Smith and Jones 10:55 Pawn Stars 11:50 The Professionals 12:55 Kojak 14:00 Minder 15:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Alias Smith and Jones 18:00 The Professionals 19:00 Kojak 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Car Chasers 22:00 Fifth Gear 23:00 Film Rambo: First Blood Part II (15) 01:05 Film - Red Sonja (15)

08:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

10 - The Courier TV Pull-out

CODE CRACKER

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 17 represents V and 10 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Frightened (6) 4 Expresses (6) 9 Unit of heat energy (7) 10 Indian yogurt dish (5) 11 Extremist (5) 12 Thin, supple and graceful (7) 13 Floor covering (3) 14 Dyed fabric (5) 16 Part (5) 18 Lubricate (3) 19 Kingdom in north-western Africa (7) 21 Church table (5) 23 Sound (5) 24 Look at closely (7)

25 Quick race (6) 26 Go away (4,2)

Down 1 Give in (7) 2 Distribute (5) 3 Set aside (7) 5 Academic divisions (5) 6 Instalment (7) 7 Extra (5) 8 Clean, tidy and smart (4-7) 15 Hunting dog (7) 16 Appease (7) 17 Serious (7) 19 Less (5) 20 Free from dirt (5) 22 Contaminate (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 7 Dahlia, 8 Abroad, 9 Bald, 10 Specific, 11 Heather, 13 Never, 15 Carry, 17 Dessert, 20 Split end, 22 Saline, 23 Narrow.

Down: 1 Manage, 2/21A Glad rags, 3 Hamster, 4 Cadet, 5 Trainers, 6 Ravine, 12 Terrific, 14 Wedding, 16 Appeal, 18 Region, 19 Defer, 21 Rare.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

his head and went to CRYTPIC CLUES pieces (6) Across 7 Television presenters Down move from one vessel to 1 Iron service plant (4) 2 Possibly snares a former another (6) 8 Get at one in brown Egyptian leader (6) 3 Ship's kitchen equipcover (6) 9 Taverns mentioned in ment? (7) Huckleberry Finn's adven- 4 Mockery in distant church (5) tures (4) 10 Charges broken rib 5 At Thailand the ItalianAmerican will turn into a cases (8) 11 Horseshoe expert is barbarian (6) rarer if crazy (7) 6 Similarly prepared Kiwi 13 Religious outfit is sec- eels (8) 12 Put in order a grander ond nature (5) 15 Quick, note the threat transport (8) 14 Place to hide skunk (7) (5) 17 Scratches for supplies 16 Many returned one day showing little emotion (6) for a long time (7) 20 Anti note rebel chant (8) 18 Some para mistaken for 21 Atmosphere in a restau- a Musketeer (6) rant (4) 19 Get thinner and lighter 23 Small dog perhaps that (5) 22 Bring up the back (4) is biting cat’s tail (6) 24 Savage mailman lost Down STANDARD CLUES 1 Non-flowering plant (4) Across 7 Pour out (6) 2 Egyptian president, 19561970 (6) 8 Accomplish (6) 3 Large ship (7) 9 Alehouses (4) 4 Exaggerated comedy (5) 10 Attributes (8) 5 Barbarian king nick11 Person who shoes horsnamed the 'Scourge of God' es (7) (6) 13 Established custom (5) 6 In the same or similar 15 Quick and energetic (5) manner (8) 12 Planned in advance (8) 17 Hunts for food (7) 14 Skunk (7) 20 Speak with gravity (8) 21 Atmosphere or ambi- 16 Impassive (6) 18 One of the Three ence (4) Musketeers (6) 23 Very small (6) 19 Diminish gradually (5) 24 Creature (6) 22 Hindmost (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Labour, 5 Dowse, 8 Cite, 9 Tabulate, 10 Antithesis, 13 Gazebo, 14 Rubies, 16 Narcissist, 19 Foursome, 21 Hail, 22 Drink, 23 Screen.

Down: 2 Avid, 3 Overate, 4 Rotations, 5 Dab, 6 Wilde, 7 Entailed, 11 Tardiness, 12 Paranoid, 15 Butcher, 17 Corgi, 18 Dire, 20 Oak.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Lea Lee Ova Pro 4 letter words Abet Acre Book Brit Chow Club Ergo Eros Euro Fret

Hera Idea Ides Iron Isle Limy Lund Lure Mini Mist Neap Ooze Otic Ouzo Plod Seal Seek Sled

Slur Stop Tool Tout Unto Urge With Yeti 5 letter words Adieu Adore Altar Calls Epees Evens Horns Icier

Oiled Pinna Retry Roman Satay South Spans Stand Stats Stays Tibia Tinea 6 letter words Bleach Carted Grassy Greasy

Stared Stones 8 letter words Fiancees Haricots Spinster Sunblind Swooshes Tapestry 9 letter words Standpipe Tearaways 10 letter words Cyberspace Reoriented

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Cheap (inexpensive) (6) 5 Lawn (6) 8 Mordedura (4) 9 Entrada (lugar de acceso) (8) 10 Zanahoria (6) 11 Discurso (alocución) (6) 12 Box (4) 14 Oreja (3) 15 Pera (4) 16 Batalla (lucha) (6) 18 Resistir (6) 20 Giants (8) 22 To praise (4) 23 To rub out (6)

24 Ducha (6) Down 2 Friend (f) (5) 3 Happiness (cheerfulness) (7) 4 Allá (4,5) 5 Gato (doméstico) (3) 6 Sombra (zona sin sol) (5) 7 Scotland (7) 11 Sorpresas (9) 13 Fan (air) (7) 15 Aisle (aeroplane, theatre) (7) 17 To bring (5) 19 Pala (para cavar) (5) 21 Alquitrán (3)

The Courier TV Pull-out - 11 Across 8/4 Bunker on a golf course (4,4) 9 Small soft-bodied marine crustaceans living in cast-off shells of gastropods (6,4) 10 Second wife of Henry VIII and mother of Elizabeth I: Anne ------ (6) 11 Small toothed whale with a low triangular dorsal fin and a blunt rounded snout (8) 12 Pseudonym of British short-story writer Hector Hugh Munro (4) 13 Premier League football team nicknamed the ‘Black Cats’ (10) 17 Capital and largest city of Italy (4) 18 Earthy pigment containing ferric oxide, typically with clay, varying from light yellow to brown or red (5) 19 Small slender-bodied

amphibian with lungs and a well-developed tail, typically spending its adult life on land and returning to water to breed (4) 20 Longest side of a right-angled triangle, opposite the right angle (10) 22 Stage name of American singer-songwriter, actress and model Alecia Beth Moore Hart (4) 23 Queen of Great Britain and Ireland and empress of India from 1837 to 1901 (8) 27 Cold pudding made of layers of sponge cake spread with fruit or jelly (6) 28 60s British pop band whose UK Top 10 hits include Everlasting Love, Rainbow Valley, A Day Without Love and Bringing On Back The Good Times (4,6) 29 Industrial city in northern Austria, on the River

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

Danube, capital of the state of Upper Austria (4) Down

1 Workplace for the conduct of scientific research (10) 2 Substance that unites

or bonds surfaces together (8) 3 1975 UK number four hit single for Glenn Campbell: ---------- Cowboy (10) 4 See 8 Across 5 Platform on pillars projecting from the shore into the sea, typically incorporating entertainment arcades and places to eat (4) 6 Roll of parchment or paper for writing on (6) 7 Mountainous landlocked communist state in south-eastern Asia that achieved independence from France in 1949 (4) 14 Indian statesman and leader with Gandhi in the struggle for home rule, the first prime minister of the Republic of India from 1947 to 1964 (5) 15 Easy and not involved or complicated (10)

16 A region of northeastern United States comprising Maine and New Hampshire and Vermont and Massachusetts and Rhode Island and Connecticut (3,7) 19 Social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed (8) 21 Someone employed in a stable to take care of the horses (6) 24 Home appliance consisting of a flat metal base that is heated and used to smooth cloth (4) 25 Flat float usually made of logs or planks that can be used for transport or as a platform for swimmers (4) 26 First name of Batman actor West, British pop singer Faith, Australian cricketer Gilchrist and British Olympic sprinter Gemili (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

SALAD INGREDIENTS

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el aceite de oliva

el tomate

el apio

el vinagre

el atún

la cebolla

el col

la lechuga

el jamón

la mayonesa

el maíz

la patata

el pepino

las espinacas

el queso

las zanahorias

el rábano

los guisantes

science QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Morris 2. White Blood Cells 3. Dwarf Willows (Greenland) 2 inch 4. apple 5. Kit or Kitten 6. Uranim (238) 7. Rabies 8.

Peacocks 9. Sodium 10. Bird 11. Kilderkin 12. The Tongue 13. 8 Inch

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 8 Detour, 9 Gridiron, 10 Bandanna, 11 Tennis, 12 Endive, 13 Airplane, 15 Fragile, 17 Hassock, 20 Sheridan, 22 Pantry, 23 Eccles, 25 Isabella, 26 Geronimo, 27 Thetis.

Down: 1 Retainer, 2 Gold digger, 3 Prince, 4 Iguanas, 5 Victoria, 6 Kiln, 7 Jovian, 14 Los Angeles, 16 Ladyship, 18 Cyrillic, 19 Incisor, 21 Hacker, 22 Plaits, 24 Laos.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el aceite de oliva, 2.el apio,

17.las espinacas,

k.the onion, l.the tuna,

3.el atún, 4.col, 5.el jamón,

18.las zanahorias.

m.the mayonnaise,

6.el maíz, 7.el pepino, 8.el

n.the carrots, o.the spinach,

queso, 9.el rábano,

a.the cheese, b.the radish,

p.the ham, q.the tomato,

10.el tomate, 11.el vinagre,

c.the peas, d.the celery,

r.the vinegar.

12.la cebolla, 13.la lechuga,

e.the corn, f.the cucumber,

14.la mayonesa, 15.la patata,

g.the potato, h.the lettuce,

16.los guisantes ,

i.the olive oil, j.the cauliflower,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2d, 3l, 4j, 5p, 6e, 7f, 8a, 9b, 10q, 11r, 12k, 13h, 14m, 15g, 16c, 17o, 18n.

1. Which British Car Companys First Car Was The 2 Seater Oxford In 1913?

2. What Do The Lymph Glands Produce?

3. What are the worlds smallest trees? Clue; it is not a Bonsai.

4. granny smith, james grieve and egremont russet are all types of which fruit?

5. What is a baby rabbit called?

6. What Is The Most Abundant Radioactive Element?

7. What Is Hydrophobia Better Known As? 8. A muster is a group of what kind of bird?

9. What Chemical In Fireworks Gives A Yellow Flame?

10. Archaeopteryx was the first what?

11. According to barrel sizes, there are 18 gallons in a what?

12. Which Is The Only Mucsle Not Atteched At Both Ends?

13. What Diameter Floppy Disks Were Introduced By Ibm In 1970?

Fill It In

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Friday 11th December 2015

Tko Teddy Santa

90.8fm & 91.9fm

Hi from TKO Teddy and I’m really into the Christmas spirit right now, and there was loads of it last Sunday at Zenia Boulevard which staged the start and finish of the Annual Santa Run around the area organised by Maria and The Pink Ladies. It was all in aid of the AECC Contra El Cancer charity and well over 100 Santas took to the local streets for the five kilometre run(or jog or walk!), with loads of money being raised. It really was a cracking day and I loved meeting all of you!

I’m seriously busy over the next week and I’m going to be keeping the Christmas theme going by going to the Samaritans Xmas Fayre at their Punta Marina centre on Saturday afternoon from 4.00 pm, and then it’s a real big deal for me on Friday, as I get to switch on some Christmas Lights! Yes, I’m going to be at

the Casas Espania Carol Service on Friday December 18th to switch on their wonderful lights at 8.30 pm, so please make a date to join me. You can find them just off the La Siesta roundabout in Torrevieja, and it’s going to be a real fun occasion as the nice folk at Casas Espania have been collecting lots of Xmas presents for local charities that they are going to be handing out!

Oh, and I should also mention CD Torrevieja’s last home match of the year is on this Sunday afternoon, once again at the Nelson Mandela stadium, with a 5.00 pm kickoff as they take on Rayo Ibense. I look forward to seeing you there! Don’t forget that if you want me to pay you a visit, then contact me via Facebook and my special page, TKO Teddy. My phone number is 664 315 470 or via e-mail tkoteddy@tko.media

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

Canadian comedienne Katherine Ryan has made the UK her home and is a regular guest on panel shows like Mock The Week, but I’ve never seen her do stand-up until her appearance on Live At The Apollo on the BBC this week. Her nasty but funny roasting of Cheryl Fernandez Versini (or Cheryl Cole as she insisted on calling her) was vicious in the great tradition of the much-missed Joan Rivers. More please Katherine as there’s a massive gap in the market since Joan left us. The Apollo shows totally depend on who they have on and personal tastes, but long may they continue as the premier vehicle for stand-up on British TV. We got answers in the final episode of the outstanding London Spy on BBC2 last Monday, but as Ben Wishaw and Charlotte Rampling drove off into the distance look-

Ryan’s Hilarious Roast

ing for revenge, I was left wondering whether there’s a second series in the works. I’m torn as it was a positive final scene potentially setting up something for the future but then I don’t think another run could match what we’ve seen so far.

What I certainly want to see returning is The Last Kingdom which ended last night on BBC 2 and has been one of the pleasant surprises of 2015. We have another half dozen or so Bernard Cornwell books on Uhtred’s adventures left to adapt as series condensed just two of his novels, so don’t sit around BBC, as production company Carnival Films have already storylined the second run.

What TV channel can offer all of this in the space of a week? Namely, an excellent documentary of the rebuilding of the Polish capital Warsaw after the Nazis raised it to

the ground; two episodes of the gripping Scandithriller, The Bridge; the final instalment of the funny and touching Detectorists (Xmas special to come); and a wonderful nostalgia trip in a documentary about one of my favourite seventies pop groups, 10 CC, with interviews with all of the people that were involved.

It’s BBC Four of course, and I challenge any other channel in the world to be

that good and it’s a fine advert for why the BBC must continue to get a decent level of funding.

The Beeb isn’t the only UK broadcaster to be under pressure from the politicians, because there is a serious danger that Channel Four could be privatised just to make a fast buck. The service has had a public broadcast remit since day one in 1982, and is run as a corporation with profits being

ploughed back into programming. Now the government want to flog it off, and that is the sad case, just watch all the rich diversity and daring of Four be thrown out of the window within a year in what would be a disaster for free-thinking commercial broadcasting in the UK. It must not happen.

Voters can be silly… .hey look at election results, but for me there’s only one winner of The X Factor this weekend and that has to be teenage singing sensation Louisa Johnson. The show’s pulling power has waned badly this current season and so expect the 2016 run to be the last as The Voice moves in on ITV, but The X Factor can still deliver stars and quality, and Louisa will be seriously big.

It’s always good to see Philip Glenister on the box, and he will always be detective Gene Hunt in all

our eyes, but it was frustrating to see him given a plodder of a tale in a second run of ITV’s “He didn’t do it” thriller, Prey, as he’s on the run from copper, Susan Reinhardt who makes Inspector Clouseau have the mind of Albert Einstein. It’s a strict “by the numbers” formula drama that even Glenister’s talents can’t stop from being a simple pre-Christmas schedule filler, now that all the excitement of I’m A Celebrity…. has died down.

A quick word on the Royal Variety Show on ITV on Tuesday. Jack Whitehall did one of the best hosting jobs in years in a comfortable and witty performance which showed up the poor comedy in the rest of the show, though the “Bad Play” from the West End was hilarious. The music acts were right on the money.

Homes & Gardens

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Friday 11th December 2015

Homes & Gardens

SPANISH LIFE

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The long stripe of the Costa Blanca (White Coast) is one of Europe’s most heavily visited areas

The Best of Everything Alicante is considered to have the best of everything Spain has to offer. A beautiful city on Spain´s Costa Blanca (on the SouthEastern coast), Alicante is much less expensive to live in than the larger urban centers like Madrid and Barcelona. Famed for its architecture, Mediterranean climate, relaxed lifestyle, food and entertainment, Alicante is very popular with expats as well as native Spaniards.

Alicante is a city which has it all; a vibrant historic section with the Castle of Santa Barbara as it’s crowning glory, a traditional bull ring, long fine sandy beaches, an impressive marina from where you can take the boat to the Island of Tabarca or across the marina to the Panorama Centre, a great selection of boutiques, department stores and specialist shops, and many fiestas including the famous Hogueras or Bonfires around the end of June.

The Costa Blanca runs

south in the Alicante district from Denia, north of Benidorm, to Pilar de la Horadada on the border with Murcia district.

Las Ramblas Golf Club is situated about 10km south of Torrevieja on the Costa Blanca, Spain. It is within easy reach of Alicante & Murcia airports and is adjacent to Villamartin and Campoamor Golf Clubs with numerous Blue Flag beaches only 10mins away, which makes it a perfect way to relax with friends.

Orihuela Costa has 17 km of coast with fine sand beaches surrounded by cliffs, small islands, long beaches and charming marinas.

Here you can enjoy sunshine 300 days of the year on some of the best beaches in the Mediterranean.

Most of these have the “Q” mark for Tourist Quality, awarded by the Ministry of Industry, and possess the prized Blue Flag awarded by the European Foundation for Environmental Education.

E F I L E H SPAIN T

S M A E R OF D

Homes & Gardens +

Spain Spain - several countries in one. Spain is such a diverse country, that its difficult to know where to start.

Whether you enjoy the beach, mountains, dry plains, tropical climates, skiing, trekking, long sandy beaches, hidden rocky coves, crisp cold mornings,

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Friday 11th December 2015

Has Something For Everyone...

long warm evenings, sitting by a warm fire watching it snow outside or sitting on a deckchair in the sun, sleepy rural villages, some of Europe's most modern cities, art, Spanish music....... there is simply something for everyone and for every moment.

The climate in many areas of Spain means that if you have the time, energy and motivation, it is not difficult to lead a healthy lifestyle. If you enjoy walking, swimming, playing golf, tennis, water sports, winter sports.... this is the country for you.

Spaniards tend to live out-

side much more than in most other European countries. If you want to experience days and nights of non-stop fun outdoors. Start participating in that very civilized Spanish habit: el paseo. And hang up a hammack in your garden to enjoy another one: la siesta.

Spanish And Their Culture

The Decision To Move To Spain If you want to settle in Spain either long or short term then you have to have drive, determination and patience. The hot weather may be a major attraction to you - don't move for this reason alone. The sun is nice for a while but if you

need to work in it to survive, its not quite so attractive. If you are one of those who like everything done straight away then Spain is not for you. Be prepared for a slower lifestyle where things take a little longer to get done.

The sheer variety and wealth of Spanish culture is the result of the fact that Spain has been home to different races and cultures throughout its long history. Romans, Iberians, Moors, French... and, more recently, Latin American immigrants, foreign residents from northern Europe and beyond.

Discover Spanish culture.

Visit museums, art galleries, castles. Learn more about the history of Spanish music. Stroll around some Spanish towns and villages to learn of their immense cultural legacy.Merida, Caceres, Trujillo, La Alberca, AlbarracĂ­n, Pals.... Visit some of the most beautiful places in Spain. Stroll, observe, look and learn.

Living In Spain Climate: The Spanish Mediterranean has the best climate in Europe. In coastal provinces like Alicante, CastellĂłn, Valencia, Baleares, AlmerĂ­a, Murcia... People enjoy the sun, the sea and quiet beaches all year round.

Many foreign residents actually prefer their Spanish homes in the low season months, when tourists disappear, and the climate is still warm enough to enjoy fully all the advantages of living in the country or on the coast.

Healthy diet: Experts have been talking about the benefits of the Mediterranean diet for years. The traditional Spanish diet - grains, cereals, fresh fruit and vegetables, fish, olive oil, and even red wine (yes! According to some experts, a glass of red wine a day is good for you!) Learn a few Spanish recipies, take advantage of the excellent quality fruit, fish, vegetables in Spain, and live longer!

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Friday 11th December 2015

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Friday 11th December 2015

Best Mince Pies Christmas is not complete without a mountain of mince pies

Dessert

Xmas Cheesecake Ingredients

225g (8 oz) digestive biscuits, crushed 30g (1 oz) butter, melted 900g (2 lb) cream cheese 300g (11 oz) caster sugar 175ml (6 fl oz) milk 4 eggs 225ml (8 fl oz) soured cream 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 4 tablespoons plain flour Directions Preheat the oven to 180 C / Gas mark 4. Grease a 23cm loose-bottomed cake tin.

In a medium bowl, mix digestive crumbs with melted butter. Press onto base of cake tin.

In a large bowl, mix cream cheese with sugar until smooth. Blend in milk and then mix in the eggs one at a time, mixing just enough to incorporate. Mix in soured cream, vanilla and flour until smooth. Pour filling onto prepared biscuit base.

Bake for 1 hour. Turn the oven off and let cake cool in oven with the door closed for 5 to 6 hours; this prevents cracking. Chill until ready to serve.

Mince pies become a daily treat in the run up to Christmas. Some like them straight from the pack, others like to heat them up and top them with a blob of brandy butter.

Of course, you can make your own at home, but why add another task to your ever expanding Christmas to-do list? And anyway, we think that sometimes you can't beat a comforting store bought pie blitzed in the microwave in front of the television.

We tasted all of the mince pies on the market so that you know which ones are worth the splurge - and which ones should be left on the shelf.

Aldi Specially Selected mince pies aldi.com A nice, traditional mince

pie. While some though them a bit bland, others commented on the nice hit from the alcohol and warming spices. They look lovely and the best bit is the crunchy sugar on top of the buttery pastry. 3/5 Asda Extra Special luxury mince pies asda.com These pies were a favourite. They are as delicious as they are pretty to look at, with lovely pastry and richly-flavoured fruit.

4/5 Harvey Nichols Mini mince pies harveynichols.com Absolutely delicious.

These delightful little bites may not taste totally traditional but they were a hit with everyone for their sweet, vanilla pastry and sticky filling. These are what you would serve to

the person who doesn’t like mince pies, though they will go down well with all your guests served as after-dinner canapés with a cup of tea. 5/5 Lidl Snowy Lodge luxury mince pies lidl.co.uk Unfortunately, what these have in looks they lack in much else. Hard, thin pastry and dry, bland mincemeat. 1/5 Sainsburys Taste the Difference all butter mince pies) sainsburys.com Cassic but executed really well. Full of flavour with a good pastry to fruit ratio. A solid pie. 4/5 Selfridges Speciality mince pies selfridges.com Top marks for the buttery and satisfying pastry with its crunchy sugared top, though the mincemeat is severely lacking and tastes too much of citrus peel. 3/5 Tesco Finest* deep filled mince pies tesco.com The chunks of dried apple reminded us of Mr Kipling’s Bramley apple pies. They contain a good amount of alcohol, though not enough to stop them from being rather dry. 3/5

Food & Drink

Cocktails Designated Drivers This Xmas Whenever you throw a party, I think it’s just good manners to offer something non-alcoholic. After all, someone has to take your guests home. So whether you are the designated driver, or a just feeling a little weary in the liver region, this selection of non alcoholic cocktails will make sure you won’t feel left out.

Fill a glass with ice.

Then add 30ml fresh lemon juice, 30ml fresh lime juice and 90ml orange juice. Then add 10ml grenadine Do not stir.

The grenadine should sink to the bottom through the juices, giving you a delightful LA sunset in a glass.

Khun Jao Fa’s tamarind cooler Khun Jao Fah is the executive assistant manager at the Tamarind Village Hotel in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand — one of my ‘happy places’. He created this sweet and sour cocktail to complement the bar menu and it is an absolute winner. Cheers KJF! Place 1 tablespoon tamarind puree concen-

trate into 100ml water and mix. Set aside. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add 90ml pink guava juice. 90ml tamarind juice, 90ml fresh pineapple juice, 15ml grenadine, 15ml sugar syrup and 15ml lime juice.

Shake, shake, shake until very cold. Strain into one large or two smaller glasses, garnish with a slice of lime and a maraschino cherry and serve.

The Shirley Temple This was allegedly invented in the late 1930’s for the eponymous child star at Chasens’s, Beverley Hills. Or The Brown Derby. Or The Royal Hawaiian. Who really knows… She was said to have never really liked the drink anyway…

Fill a glass with ice cubes. Pour in a 50/50 mixture of ginger ale and 7-Up. Add a dash of grenadine, a dash of lime juice and garnish with a fluorescent maraschino cherry. Hum The Good Ship Lollipop whilst sipping through a straw. A bow in your hair is optional.

Food & Drink

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Friday 11th December 2015

Amazing Things To Do With Cheese This Christmas From Mulled wine and Persillé du Malzieu to Stilton terrine The cheeseboard is a Christmas highlight for many of us - but that's not the only place for that wedge of Stilton or chunk of Manchego.

This year, up your cheese game with these delicious, inventive suggestions from Britain's foremost fromage fiends. Anyone for drunken cheese?

Mulled wine and Persillé du Malzieu Hot, sweet and fragrant,

mulled wine is a tricky match for cheese, but the salty kick of a blue makes for an interesting contrast.

The punchy, almost alcoholic flavours of Roquefort are a good complement, but Anna Leroide, cheese buyer at Sourced Market in St Pancras Railway Station recommends another French blue ewe's milk cheese. “I like the melt-inyour-mouth Persillé du Malzieu, which we buy from

Mons Cheesemongers. It comes from the Auvergne and is sharp, spicy and creamy.”

Baked Winslade with festive dukka Winslade is a gorgeously gooey cows' milk cheese encircled by a band of spruce à la Vacherin. Like its Continental cousin, it is elevated to new heights by being baked in the oven. At the Cheese Yard in Knutsford, Cheshire, owner

Sarah Peak studs the velvety paste of Winslade and its sister cheese Tunworth with slivers of garlic before baking in the oven for 20 minutes. At Christmas they are served like a festive fondue with a dukkah of chopped almonds and dried cranberries and skewers of toasted bread for dunking.

Warning: you will get cheese on your chin.

10 amazing cheese to try before you die

Stilton terrine A temple of French fromage, the London outpost of famous Parisian cheese shop Androuet also has a surprisingly decent selection of British cheeses.

Owners (and brothers) Alex and Leo Guarneri use Stilton to make a showstopper terrine, which is actually very easy to make.

Gently mix 500g of crumbled Stilton and 60ml of port with your fingers until the

wine has been absorbed then press half the mixture into a terrine tin lined with cling film. Layer thin slices of poached pear on top then cover with another layer of cheese. Chill overnight, turn out and cover the whole thing in crushed, toasted and caramelised walnuts.

Cheese is the most relaxed course of a big meal especially at Christmas time; so take time to choose and savour your cheeses.

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Health

Friday 11th December 2015

Lyme Disease Surge In Britain Spurs Ministers To Act Support GPs and hospitals as concern grows about spread of potentially debilitating condition

Britain had a surge of cases this summer of Lyme disease, a tick-borne illness that in its most serious form can result in chronic fatigue, pain, confusion, depressionlike symptoms and memory loss.

New figures show that after a two-year pause in the steady rise of cases, the number of acute cases – people who test positive and show symptoms of the disease – nearly doubled this summer, the peak season.

Public Health England also revealed that tests for the disease have increased five-fold in the past two months – though this is likely to be affected by publicity around the case of the billionaire John Caudwell and

his family,who were diagnosed with the illness.

Growing concern about the spread of the disease, thought to affect 2,000 to 3,000 people in the UK each year, has prompted ministers to decide to set up a network of regional experts to help diagnose and treat the problem.

Theories for why numbers appear to be rising include a growing number of ticks in some weather conditions; more wild mammals that host them; an increase in the number of visitors to areas where they live; and greater awareness leading to more patients visiting GPs and therefore more diagnoses.

Other celebrities who have gone public after contracting the illness include the singer Avril Lavigne and the actor Richard Gere.

“The disease is spreading, there’s no doubt about that,” said Stella HuysheShires, chair of the charity Lyme Disease Action (LDA).

Although Lyme disease was first described in Germany in 1883, the first recorded case in the UK was in the 1970s.

“Any disease that comes in spreads,” said HuysheShires.

“It’s spreading through the population of ticks, animals are picking it up so it goes to more and more ticks, so more and more people are contracting the disease. It’s an emerging disease in this country.”

Health officials stress that, in the vast majority of cases, people bitten by infected ticks recover fully from the flu-like symptoms after a course of antibiotics.

If not treated, however, the bacteria can move into

the nervous system, the heart and the brain, causing more extreme symptoms that take much longer to treat.

There is growing evidence that some sufferers go on to have symptoms including severe pain, fatigue and neurological problems for many years.

The notion of chronic Lyme disease is still controversial, but the health minister Lord Prior told a House of Lords debate in October: “Some patients suffer debilitating illness with symptoms that persist after treatment for several months or longer.”

Prior revealed that the Department of Health is to set up a network of experts around the country to support GPs and hospital staff, many of whom have never encountered the disease.

Couch Potato Lifestyle Could Damage Intelligence In Later Life Couch potatoes who watch too much television and do not get enough exercise in early adulthood could be damaging their long term intelligence, a study suggests.

Although health experts have known for some time that sedentary behaviour and too much screen time could impact physical

health, it is the first research to link a lazy lifestyle to poorer cognitive ability in middle age.

US researchers followed more than 3,200 adults aged between 18 and 30 for 25 years, monitoring their exercise and television habits.

Those who watched three or more hours of television

for more than four days a week, and rarely exercised, were twice as likely to score poorly on intelligence and cognition tests after 25 years.

Dr Tina Hoang, of the Northern California Institute for Research and Education, said: “We found that low levels of physical activity and high levels of television viewing during young to mid-adulthood were associated with worse cognitive performance in midlife.

“In particular, these behaviours were associated with slower processing speed and worse executive function but not with verbal memory.

“Participants with the least active patterns of behaviour were the most likely to have poor cognitive function. Individuals with both low physical activity

and high sedentary behaviour may represent a critical target group.”

Writing in the journal JAMA Psychiatry, the authors acknowledge a few

limitations, including possible selection bias and that physical activity and TV viewing were self-reported.

British researchers also urged caution about the findings because of the methodology.

Dr Andrew Przybylski, Experimental Psychologist and Research Fellow at the Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford, said: "The work should provoke continu e d conver-

sation about the nature of different forms of interactive media and underline the value of open science methodology including open datasets, pre-registered analysis plans, and robust and open peer review process.

“Until these innovations are introduced into this research literature we will be left scratching our heads at studies like this.”

Health Dr M. Mannu

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Friday 11th December 2015

Overweight Men May Pass Genetic Obesity Risk To Their Children Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

Genetic markers in the sperm of obese men can affect brain development and appetite control

The children of overweight men may be at greater risk of obesity due to genetic changes carried in their father’s sperm, a study suggests.

Scientists found a pattern of genetic markers in the sperm of obese men that have the potential to affect brain development and appetite control.

The changes were absent in the

sperm of lean men.

The finding is tentative, but if a risk is confirmed in larger studies, it will boost advice for men that getting in shape before they start a family could improve the health of their children.

“We don’t yet know if this is important. But if what we’ve found is transmitted to children and is doing something negative, it raises new

questions about what do we need to do, and how long we need to do it before we conceive,” said Romain Barrès who led the study at the University of Copenhagen.

A person’s risk of obesity is heavily influenced by the genes they inherit and the environment they live in. The combination of factors leads to childhood BMI rising in line with parental weight, surveys

have found. Previous work with twins shows that up to 70% of the differences between people’s fat mass is down to their DNA. The Danish group looked at so-called epigenetic information contained in the sperm of 10 obese men and 13 lean men. The information is not encoded in DNA, but in other chemicals that work with DNA, such as methyl molecules that can attach to specific genes and silence them.

After comparing epigenetic marks on sperm from the two groups of men, the researchers drew up what they believe is a “distinct epigenome that characterises human obesity.” Some of the changes they spotted alter genes involved in behaviour and eating “and could participate in predisposing the offspring to obesity,” they write in the journal Cell Metabolism.

The scientists next looked at epigenetic information carried by the sperm of six morbidly obese men before and

after gastric bypass surgery to reduce their weight. They found that a week after surgery, the epigenetic markers on 1509 genes had changed in the men’s sperm, rising to 3,910 a year after surgery.

More than half of these also differed between obese and lean men. Given the small size of the study though, the findings are far from conclusive.

The researchers are unsure if the epigenetic markers they found are passed onto children, and what effects they might have if they are. Most epigenetic information carried by sperm is erased during fertilisation.

Though some survives, it is unclear how important it is for the next generation.

Barrès said his team plans further studies to investigate, using sperm from obese fathers and IVF embryos they have donated after completing their families.

Wolf Reik, head of epigenetics at the Babraham Institute in Cambridge said that studies in animals have

shown that changes in nutrition can alter the epigenetic markers carried by sperm.

“It’s totally unknown what happens to these marks after fertilisation. In some ways the signals need to survive the global wipeout system, which is why it’s even more remarkable,” he said. “How strong the effects are in human populations is totally unknown. It’s impossible to tell at this point. That’s why the study is provocative, but much more needs to be done.”

Allan Pacey, professor of andrology at Sheffield University, said the study was intriguing and worthy of further investigation. But he added that it was too early to say what the observations meant for human health.

“Until we know more, wouldbe parents should just aim to be as healthy as possible at the time of conception and not be drawn to faddy diets or other activities in order to try and influence the health of their children in ways we don’t properly understand.”

The Right Type Of Food

Improving your diet is probably the most important step you can take to keep healthy. The right type of

food will heal many diseases. Food provides the raw material the body needs to produce the many different

chemicals essential for our well being. If you suffer from any chronic illness, becoming aware of what goes into

your mouth, will do more to improve your health than any medication.

Our foods contain nutrients divided into different groups – carbohydrates, proteins, fats, oils, vitamins and minerals.

Carbohydrates digest into simple sugars that are necessary for producing energy while proteins break down into amino acids, the building blocks of life. Fats and Oils provide energy reserves that sustain the body in times of need. Vitamins and Minerals play the most diverse role, including acting as catalysts to speed up reactions in the body, maintaining the structure of organs and regenerating broken down organs.

Your body needs all nutrient groups in a balanced and adequate proportion to stay healthy and active. When the body receives more proteins than carbo-

hydrates, for example, it creates an imbalance that can lead to disease. Protein requires a lot of energy to process, and consuming protein rich diet will drain the body of energy

and accelerate ageing.

Consuming a lot of Carbs, on the other hand, will result in weight gain.

Yes, some people will have a body more suited to one class of nutrients than another, preferring more protein to carbohydrates, or more fats to carbs, we still need to include all food groups in our diet.

The key is to learn as much as you can about food and nutrition and to listen to your body to find out what it needs.

For a full body diagnostic scan call MedB clinic: 965071745, 966189074.

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Friday 11th December 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Bryan was having problems with the ink in his ADVICE: Derrick wanted to watch .MTS video files on his computer Epson printer

Q

Hi Richard, I have recently replaced the ink cartridges on my Epson photo stylus SX425 printer and now it will not print. The ink warning light is on and if I click on check ink levels it shows 4 empty cartridges with crosses in them. I have tried switching the printer off and have taken the cartridge out and put them back in to no avail. Can you advise on what else I can do. Regards, Bryan.

A

Hi Bryan, it sounds like the cartridges are incompatible with your printer, do you have both compatible and original cartridges mixed in the same printer?

The help section of the www.spanishink.com website can be very helpful in resolving problems like this, here is a link to an article that will help you figure out the problem http://tinyurl.com/spanishink

Q

Hi Richard. You did so well in solving my last computer problem that I immediately thought of you when I discovered that I had another one. A friend has sent me some video clips in MTS format which I am unable to open, I am running windows vista. Could you please suggest a solution? Regards Derrick

A

Hi Derek, .mts files are AVCHD high definition digital video format that support 1080i and 720p, in order to play them you will need an application on your computer that supports the CODEC (format) that they are built in. One of the most flexible video players that I have used is VLC Media Player and it’s freely available for download, just point your browser to http://www.videolan.org/vlc/ download and install it and enjoy watching your video’s.

Update: Thanks Richard, yet another success!

ADVICE: Sid wanted some advice on backups

Q

I have a 1TB hard drive for backing up my computer. I have it set to back up midnight every Friday using the windows 7 backup program. The problem is although the computer is backed up I cannot access any folders or files as it has been saved as a disk Image. What free back up program do you suggest that will run in conjunction with the windows 7 back up program so that I can access files and folders on the Hard Drive?

A

Hi Sid, you are absolutely correct, the data that is backed up by Windows 7’s backup application stores the data in such a format that it is not readable directly, you need to go back into the backup program to read the data. Like you I much prefer to store my backups (space allowing) as a direct copy of the individual files – that way I can see what data has been backed up and access the files directly should I need to. There are a number of applications out there that will allow you do perform backups in this way, one of the best ones that I have used is called “Allway Sync” and you can get a free copy of it at www.allwaysync.com The great thing about this product is that it will, should you require, keep multiple locations in sync – by that I mean if you delete a file from one location, allway sync will remove the file from the backup, keeping both locations exactly synchronised. It has the facility to be scheduled, so you could still run your backups at midnight on Fridays and as I mentioned before it stores the files in the same format as they are in the source location so you can view the files directly in the destination location.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Friday 11th December 2015

Merc Ups The Ante With Latest Hot Hatch

There’s more to fun than just going fast, of course.

But it’s a good start. Which gets the new MercedesAMG A45 off to a very good start, because it’ll hit 62mph in 4.2 seconds.

That’s 0.1 of a second faster than its key rival the Audi RS3. Funny, that.

The fun comes from a turbocharged 2.0-litre petrol engine that’s good for 376bhp and 350lb ft. It’s mated to a dual-clutch box whose seven ratios are

spaced to make the most of all that output and whose shifts are even faster than the previous model’s.

There’s a drive mode selector, too, with a variety of positions taking you from Comfort to Sport+. We headed straight for the latter, obviously, and came back grinning – the engine and box are perfectly matched for acceleration that’s as smooth as it is brutal, and the car’s whole suite of dynamic skills

make it beautifully controllable and endlessly adjustable however hard you want to drive it.

Other beautiful things include the interior, whose quality of materials and finish is more in keeping with a premium exec than a hatchback of any kind. It’s impressively refined when you’re driving in Comfort mode, and ride quality is pretty epic for a car that can also handle the way the A45 does.

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Classifieds

Friday 11th December 2015 ALARMS

CLEANERS

CATERING

HAIRDRESSERS

STRIP A GRAM

REMOVALS

PLUMBER

SURVEYOR

DRAINAGE

CAR BREAKERS SECOND HAND

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

Maybe

WELDER

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SERVICES Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, all welcome to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further

information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf-spain.org.

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier.

Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am.

Craft club.Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo.Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276

TUITION Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers.

Provide an insight into most musical styles. From 10€ per hour. Call Peter Now on 966789612 or 629975378.

QUIZ MASTER Experienced quiz-master /question setter with personality If you would like a quiz master that is interesting and entertaining, questions that are challenging yet not too difficult so as to be ungettable available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581.

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

ALCOHOLICS

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Friday 11th December 2015 Friday 30th October 2015

Rowing Ahead

Torrevieja is to become the permanent headquarters of Spain’s national

rowing team, after a deal was struck this week between the Alicante

Provincial Council and the Royal Spanish Rowing Federation. Ex-Torrevieja major, Eduardo Dolon, wearing his hat as tourist chief for the Provincial Council, and Gerardo Rodriguez Boj, for the Rowing Federation, signed the provisional deal on Monday.

The Spanish team which is preparing for the international "Prince Albert II

Challenge” to be held in Monaco in March will also have Costa Blanca logos on their boats in all of their races.

"This deal will also be used to spread the image of the whole Alicante Province worldwide”, said Dolon, “as well as giving a fresh impetus to sports tourism and encourage more visitors to the local area all year round”.

Kit For Ball Deal A signed Manchester City football has found its rightful local home in the shape of the local City supporter’s club, The Costa Blanca Blues.

The ball was originally given to Los Montesinosbased Monte Mentals Walking Football Club on a recent visit from the Manchester City Community Walking Footballers, but they decid-

ed that a little bit of bidding for the ball would help them out!

The Mentals have been looking for some money for some new kit and so a generous bid of 500 pounds for the ball was offered by Stephen Cleaver of Phoenix Aircon Ltd with Stan Dibble of the Mentals presenting the cherished ball to Jackie and Peter Smith of the Costa Blanca Blues.

Rosberg’s Win Nico Rosberg says he does not know how he managed to turn the tables on Mercedes team-mate Lewis Hamilton and end the season with a run of success.

Hamilton won the title with three races to go, all of which Rosberg then won.

Rosberg said: "Qualifying, he did a better job - up to the point he won the title it was 12-3 or

Rugby There’s another round of FERRMUR cup matches this weekend for the Murcia Federation sides, with a group one encounter between the bottom side , the San Javier Squalos and Albacete. ITV Orihuela Vega Baja entertain Totana in group two.

something. "That was my strength last year. Strange it turned around. Tough to understand it. I don't know exactly why; I just need to keep it going."

Hamilton won the title in 2014 despite qualifying behind his team-mate more often than not, passing Rosberg on track a number of times to take 11 wins to the German's five.

La Manga Boost An American website, Tennis Resorts Online, has named La Manga Club as the second best club in Europe as well as listing it in the world’s top 75 tennis resorts.

The facility boasts 28 courts, 20 of which are clay, along

with academies for all ages and ranges of tennis ability.

The news for the tennis side of operation comes hotfoot after the 2015 World Golf Awards named the resort as the best in the country for the second successive year.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Ivie Davies on Golf

Tiger Not Burning Bright “It's goodnight from me, and goodnight from him”, to use a Two Ronnies catchphrase. These days, golfing superstar Tiger Woods is feeling more than a bit sorry for himself. The greatest sportsman of his generation isn’t dealing with his latest timeout particularly well. In fact the only thing he is doing well at is playing video games.

"I'm really good at video games. That's how I pass a lot of my time.” Tiger admitted.

Speaking last week at the start of the Hero World Challenge in Albany, Florida which he hosts, Tiger opened up to the assembled press, and sounded the most defeated he has ever been in a long time, and even after losing a fight with a fire hydrant he sounded more chipper than what he deliv-

ered in front of the journalists.

What he wants to do first though is play football with his kids. He wants to pass time and really be a part of his kids' life in the way that he wants to be a part of it physically, not just as a cheerleader." Is this it for Tiger? Is he thinking of quitting? And if he retired, now would Tiger retire happy or simply frustrated that he didn’t fulfil his golfing destiny?

There is an overwhelming sense that Tiger Woods is done. And even if you refuse to accept it, then it is surely impossible to argue that Tiger Woods is done with being Tiger Woods. A half-hour news conference all but confirmed it.

Nobody expected this from Woods, nobody anticipated anything other than his usual defiance. No, this

Sergio’s Joy At Open Sergio Garcia ended a two year wait for a title by coming through a four-man play-off to win the Ho Tram Open last Sunday.

The Spaniard defeated Himmat Rai on the second play-off hole of the Asian

Tour’s inaugural tournament in Vietnam. Lin WenTang and Thaworn Wiratchant failed to make it past the first hole, allowing Garcia to triumph on the Greg Norman-designed course.

was not a definitive resignation speech, but there was most definitely resignation in his speech.

Woods was often ridiculed for limping into media centres, clutching a form-sheet as wretched as his medical notes, and insisting he was there “to win”, while vehemently denying anything whatsoever had changed in his outlook. It was the only certainty that was left with Tiger, the red-shirted one who was always such a certainty on those Sunday afternoons. Well, hey, the physique was in tatters.

Yet now it has followed his frame and begun to fall apart. When the question came, Woods not only veered off the script of the past six years, he yanked at the steering wheel and sent his career inexorably up that road to retirement.

“There is nothing really I can look forward to,” Woods said, his clear discomfort as much to do with the admission as much as his aching back.

He all but conceded his immortal match with Jack Nicklaus. "I think pretty much everything beyond this will be gravy," he said.

“I’m still shy of Jack’s record of 18 majors but in my 20 years out here, I think I've achieved a lot.

"And if that's all it entails I've had a pretty good run.

I'm hoping I can get back out there and compete against these guys. But if that's not the case, I'll find other avenues; growing my foundation, course design and other projects that will certainly take up more of my time.”

Jack Nicklaus's record of 18 majors therefore looks secure. Woods’ confession

that he spends his days playing computer games was sad enough. But then to go further and reveal that he mutes the volume so those he is playing against cannot hear who he is, drove the scenario way beyond pitiful. To think, the most recognisable competitor of this sporting generation is now trying to be the most anonymous. That is the hole is he in at the moment.

What makes it worse is that just two years ago before the trio of surgeries which has reduced him to spinal servitude - he won five of the PGA Tour’s biggest events and was crowned player of the year.

Furthermore, his is a pursuit in which the professionals can win majors long beyond the 40-year mark. Golf is taunting him,

saying “come on, Vijay did it, so did Phil and Ernie”.

Except, Woods is not like them, neither in body or celebrity.

Tiger is sadly now a lost figure in golf and he turns 40 at the end of the month, but will be a very old 40, having undergone multiple operations on his knees as well as his back. Just to launch another comeback will be a huge ask, but after that the demands will become truly absurd. The circus will pitch up again, the spotlight will zoom in and there will be absolutely no chance of gentle progression in the shadows.

From the outset, he will be compared to Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlroy and those contrasts will be as kind as they are helpful.

So it could well be “Goodnight from me and goodnight from him!”

Kaymer upbeat The German admits to having had a disappointing campaign, with a winless 2015 seeing the Ryder Cup winner falling to 27th in the world rankings, but believes his game is heading back in the right direction ahead of the final event of the year.

Kaymer finished runnerup in September's Open D'Italia and also ended the European Tour seasonending DP World Tour Championship inside the top-10, with the 30-year-old now looking to finish his 2015 with a first victory since last June's US Open.

TITTER ON THE TEE A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION

Jim’s shot hits the lip of the bunker and rebounds back into the same bunker several meters closer to the hole. He swung his club into the sand in frustration, his actions did not affect his new lie in the bunker. What is the penalty in stroke play?

A: There is no penalty.

B: Alan incurs a penalty of one stroke.

C: Alan incurs a penalty of two strokes.

ANSWER C: Decision Rule 13.4: A player can never touch the ground (sand) in a hazard with his hand or club or test the condition of the hazard or similar hazard.

The Courier Sport

45

Friday 11th December 2015

Kike For Oscar

Barclays Premier League Saturday 12 December 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:30

Norwich City v Everton Crystal Palace v Southampton Manchester City v Swansea City Sunderland v Watford West Ham United v Stoke City Bournemouth v Manchester United

Sunday 13 December 14:30 Aston Villa v Arsenal 17:00 Liverpool v West Bromwich Albion 17:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United

Monday 14 December 21:00 Leicester City v Chelsea

Sky Bet Championship Friday 11 December 20:45 Blackburn v Rotherham United 20:45 Wolverhampton Wanderers v Nottingham Forest

Saturday 12 December CD Torrevieja have parted company with their goalkeeper Oscar, and replaced him with 19-year old Enrique Navarro Ruiz "Kike" from CD Cox who currently lead group four of the Valencian Preferente division. No reason was given for Oscar’s departure with the keeper only winning the Player of the Year trophy just over six months ago at last May’s Gala Awards

night, having played in all 40 fixtures last season, and keeping 16 clean sheets. He was also one of the first of the squad to commit to the club for this current campaign. He last played for Torry in their defeat at Torre Levante at the start of November which saw him get injured, and replaced by ex-Mar Menor keeper Miguel Serna.

32-year-old Oscar was

Early Present?

CD Torrevieja will be looking for the perfect preXmas gift for their supporters this Sunday with a victory in their last home match of 2015, to back up their excellent victory and season best performance at Recambios Colon at the end of last month.

Promoted side Rayo Ibense are the visitors with the home fixture once again being played at the Nelson Mandela stadium, as the re-seeding and renovation process continues with the Vicente Garcia stadium pitch. The match kicks-off this Sunday December 13th at 5.00pm.

Points are priceless for Torry as despite the victory

on their last outing, they are just a point clear of the relegation zone, with the visitors having a very commendable start to their campaign with a comfortable mid-table position.

Crucially for Torrevieja, their last match of the year is next weekend away to Jove Espanol who prior to this current round of fixtures, occupy one of the relegation spots.

To say that a win is vital this Sunday, is something of an understatement, but the excellent performance at Recambios Colon leaves Torry fans with genuine hope that a victory over Rayo Ibense will happen.

Monte Lose

CD Montesinos lost their latest match one-nil away to CD Almoradi B last Saturday in a result which leaves them seventh in the table with 21 points from

12 matches.

Monte entertain their town rivals Todo Deporte Montesinos this Sunday afternoon with a 4.00pm kick-off.

Nico’s Award

Torrevieja’s teenage tennis player Nicola Kuhn has made the headlines again as he won the Most Promising Sportsman acolade at the 23rd Provincial Sports Awards organised by the Alicante Provincial Council, and staged last Friday at the Auditorio de la Diputación de Alicante.

The 15-year-old from La Mata was part of the secondplaced German team in the Junior Davis Cup in October, winning all of his five matches in the tournament and will be

going down-under to play in Australia next month.

Nico, who has lived in Spain since he was three months old, switched his tennis allegiance to Germany because the cash-strapped Spanish authorities were unable to help with his travelling and equipment.

The son of a German father and Russian mother, Austrian-born Kuhn is now looking to climb up the world rankings next year, with his current ATP ranking standing at 2009.

CD Torrevieja’s first signing under their previous manager Galiana who was sacked earlier in the year, with the keeper having joined the club from the 2nd division B Catalonia side, Unió Esportiva Olot. A statement from Torrevieja said that the club had agreed with Oscar, as well as with midfielder Adrian Banderas, that their relationship with the club

would come to an end.

The club thanked both men for their service and professionalism, and wished them luck for the future.

Oscar’s replacement, Kike, has had complementary reviews over his performances, and last season he played for ADM Lorquí before going CD Cox, and has also been part of the Hercules CF and Elche CF squads.

13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

MK Dons v Ipswich Town Cardiff City v Sheffield Wednesday Charlton Athletic v Leeds United Derby County v Brighton and Hove Albion Fulham v Brentford Huddersfield Town v Bristol City Hull Cityv Bolton Wanderers Middlesbrough v Birmingham City Preston North End v Reading Queens Park Rangers v Burnley

Monday 14 December 20:45 Blackburn Rovers v Nottingham Forest

Tuesday 15 December 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45

Cardiff City v Brentford Charlton Athletic v Bolton Wanderers Derby County v Bristol City Fulham v Ipswich Town Huddersfield Town v Rotherham United MK Dons v Sheffield Wednesday Middlesbrough v Burnley Preston North End v Birmingham City QPR v Brighton and Hove Albion

Scottish Premiership Saturday 12 December 13:30 Aberdeen v Heart of Midlothian 16:00 Dundee United v Partick Thistle 16:00 Hamilton Academical v Ross County 16:00 Inverness Caledonian Thistle v Kilmarnock 16:00 Motherwell v Dundee

Sunday 13 December 13:30 St. Johnstone v Celtic

Spanish La Liga Friday 11 December 20:30 Getafe v Real Sociedad

Saturday 12 December 16:00 18:15 18:15 20:30 22:05

Barcelona v Deportivo de La Coruña Celta de Vigo v Espanyol Levante v Granada CF Sevilla v Sporting de Gijón Las Palmas v Real Betis

Sunday 13 December 12:00 Rayo Vallecano v Málaga 16:00 Eibar v Valencia CF 18:15 Atlético de Madrid v Athletic Club 20:30 Villarreal v Real Madrid

Torry Army Dates

The Torry Army is the longestablished international supporters club that follow CD Torrevieja and organise a variety of social events as well as cheering on the players.

The Christmas Dance featuring music from the group, Timeless, will be at Casa Ventura in San Luis, Torrevieja on Wednesday December 16th, from

9.00pm. There’ll be a buffet besides the entertainment with the cost being 12 euros for members and 14 euros for non-members.

If you are interested in learning more about the Torry Army and coming along to the events, then just put your name down at the Torry Army office in San Luis, or ring the office on 966 784 111 or call Pat Stewart on 966 786 352.

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Friday 11th December 2015

Capital Honours

REAL MADRID 4 GETAFE 1

Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema and Cristiano Ronaldo were at their devastating best as Real Madrid crushed Getafe in last Saturday’s local derby at the Bernabeu. Rafa Benitez's side were reeling after a difficult week in which they were banned from the Copa del Rey for fielding an ineligible player, and they took their frustration out on a struggling Getafe side in a mightily impressive display with Benzema (2), Bale and Ronaldo all scoring in the first half. The result means Real are four points behind leaders Barcelona, with a test to come on Sunday night away to fifthplaced Villarreal.

Barca’s Late Shock

Routine Night

The Courier Sport

WHAT

BAYER LEVERKUSEN 1 BARCELONA 1

Barcelona had already made it into the knockout stages of the Champions League, with the draw to be made this Monday, and that meant Luis Enrique could afford to rest a number of players, as he made eight changes from the side that drew with Valencia on Saturday. Still there was a place for Messi who is rediscovering his top form after a knee injury that kept him side-lined for almost two months, and he put Barca into the lead, before Javier Hernández levelled it up for the home side.

Crushed Swedes

REAL MADRID 8 MALMO 0

VALENCIA 1 BARCELONA 1

HORROR SHOefW ensive dis-

New head coach Gary Neville watched from the stands as his side Valencia held champions Barcelona to a draw at Mestalla in La Liga last Saturday. The result means Barca are two points clear of Atletico Madrid, with Real Madrid four points behind in third.

Luis Suarez gave Barcelona a second-half lead from an angle, before Santi Mina equalised with six minutes remaining as Valencia maintained their unbeaten home record in the league this season.

Barca are at home to sixth-placed Deportivo this Saturday afternoon.

Total Frustration ELCHE 0 TENERIFE 0 From being part of a potential promotion chasing pack a few weeks ago, 289 minutes without a goal has seen Elche move down the Segunda division table and into a situation where they are potentially more concerned about preserving their current status as opposed to any early dreams about a return to the top flight of La Liga.

After two consecutive one-nil defeats against Alavés and Albacete, and four matches without a win, the Tenerife goalkeeper, Dani Hernández came to Elche on Saturday and played an absolute blinder to frustrate the Ilicitanos players and supporters alike. It was one-way traffic as Elche laid siege to the Tenerife goal in the first half with a string of chances that Hernández dealt with(often in heroic fashion) whilst the visitors didn’t even produce their first meaningful chance until the second period of play. All the elements conspired to make sure that Elche didn’t score including Sergio Leon(pictured with a wry smile of frustration) missing a penalty and Hernández making a terrific last minute save that kept it goalless.

The Ilicitanos are away this Saturday evening to Girona who are three places below them in the table.

Cristiano Ronaldo scored four times as Real Madrid demolished Malmo on Tuesday to equal the biggest victory in the history of the Champions League group stage. Benzema scored the last goal and the opening two for a hat-trick, with Mateo Kovacic also netting. The result equals Liverpool's 8-0 win against Besiktas in 2007 when Madrid manager Rafael Benitez was in charge. Ronaldo - the all-time highest Champions League scorer - becomes the first player to score more than 10 goals in the group stages with his 11 in six games.

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At Last!

Neymar has been named player of the month for November in La Liga – incredibly the first Barcelona player to win the award since it started over two years ago! The award were launched in September 2013, with Barca having won 68 La Liga games - and the 2014-15 title - since then.

It took the Brazil forward's tally of five goals in three games last month to finally persuade the panel to reward a Barca player at the 21st opportunity. Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo is one of five players to have won it twice. Atletico Madrid pair Diego Godin and Antoine Griezmann, Celta Vigo's Nolito and exArsenal and Real Sociedad's Carlos Vela are the others, with absolutely nothing for the likes of Lionel Messi.

Coutinho Key After a string of sensational performances have made Philippe Coutinho an integral part of Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool revolution, former World Cup winner Lucio tells Pete Hall that his "great friend" can become one of the best players in the world, and Anfield is the perfect stage for him to reach such lofty heights.

>> United players at the final

Vieira Earmarked As Patrick Vieira is being lined up as potential successor to current Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini, according to the club’s Football Administration Officer Brian Marwood.

The former City and Arsenal midfielder took his first step into first-team management in November, signing a three-year deal with City's sister club New York City in Major League Soccer.

Vieira had been in charge of City's elite development squad since 2013 after ending his career at the Etihad Stadium two years previously and Marwood has revealed the Frenchman could return to the club in a managerial capacity in the future.

"It was important that we could find the next development stage for Patrick and it was still part of the group. That opportunity came about in New York.

We are really excited, he is really excited by it and I think it is exactly the next step he needs," Marwood said.

John McGregor on Sport

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Friday 11th December 2015

NOW FOR MAN UTD? VFL WOLFSBURG 3-2 MANCHESTER UNITED

The Latest Sport Headlines FOOTBALL 'Everyone wants to play Chelsea' ATHLETICS

VAN GAAL WOE night

French prosecutors look

>> Utd failed to advance from the group stage of CL

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Three out of four’s not bad!

whistle after their late loss at Wolfsburg.

Potential City Boss "Hopefully, at some point, he'll come back and manage Manchester City, That's the ambition for him and that's the ambition for us. But he has to go through this learning curve."

Vieira joined City from Inter Milan in January 2010 and helped the club win its first major honour for 35 years, a 1-0 FA Cup final victory over Stoke in 2011. He ended his playing career following victory over the Potters, taking up a training and youth development role at City before working for the club in a business capacity.

"We always felt from day one that he could make a major contribution to the club," Marwood added. "The club, at that time, still had a lot of developing to do, a lot of growing up to do and the culture, which is very important to what we are about, needed to be driven by people that had been around winning mentalities, winning culture, humility and trying to have the right values and behaviours.

Somewhat surprisingly three English clubs have made it through to the knock-out stages of the Champions League starting in February, with the draw being made on Monday. Arsenal, Chelsea and Man City all went through, with Man United disappointingly dropping into the Europa League.

GUNNERS BLAST THROUGH! What a season Olivier Giroud is having: eight Prem goals, and now the French striker’s first ever hat trick away in hostile Greece to put away Olympiakos after the Gunners began the night in third place needing a two goal winning margin to survive. They finished second to Bayern Munich, so now they meet one of the group winners in the knock-out stages which could be the likes of terrifying Barcelona, but there are other more modest opposition like Man United’s conquerors Wolfsburg who are beatable on the night by a competent Arsenal side.

SINGING THE BLUES! At last Chelsea gave their worried fans something to cheer about in progressing to the knock-out

stages of the Champions League in mid-February.

Putting last Saturday’s squirmingly-embarrassing home defeat to freshl y - p r o m o t e d Bournemouth behind them, the Blues put away Porto 2 – 0, and almost definitely – well, probably – maybe guarantees Jose Mourinho stays in charge until at least the knock-out stages. Yes, the performance was infinitely better than the laggardly late league performances with spiky Costa leading the line well, Hazard and Willian running the midfield, and the normally creaky defence holding together looking happier now Courtois is back.

UNITED EXIT AS CITY STORM THROUGH: That wasn’t in the script! Man United were beaten 3 – 2 in Germany by modest Wolfsberg and subsequently crash out of the Champions League. That doubly hurt as nasty neighbours City put aside their domestic dreariness to beat Borussia Monchengladbach to top their group. On TV, exUnited pundits Ferdinand, Scholes and Owen miserably pointed out the Red

Devil’s shortcomings, stating that in Louis van Gaal’s reign they could pick a team from players the Dutchman has discarded along the way and losing a lot of money:- in fact a team who would comprehensively beat the players LVG put out who lost the vital game. The only good news now is that somehow domestically boring United are still third and still might wi …. nah, surely not. Across town, all was delirious delight in the Blue corner as City threw off their Premier League lethargy to look good in Europe despite missing some stars. At last, and leaving it late in the game, Raheem Sterling looked the part, taking over when City were 2 – 1 down with ten minutes to go and snatching two goals in two thrilling minutes, with Bony wrapping it up.

Considering there was no Aguero, Toure or Kompany this will send a message that City can be feared in the knock-out stages – at long last success in Europe - and a superior snigger towards the rueful, Red-faced corner of Mancunia.

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SPARKY LIGHTS UP!

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t h g u a C y Man Cit

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G N I P NAP

Stoke manager Mark Hughes had a festive fiesta last weekend switching on the Potteries Christmas lights as his modestly-assembled-by-comparison team tore apart one of his previous clubs, precious Man City apart to light up the season. Question:- Who is known as ‘The Alpine Messi’? Answer:-Why, it’s Sparky’s new Swiss gem Xherdan Shaqiri. Who is he? A diminutive, dynamic midfielder who has already played for Basel, Bayern Munich and Inter Milan, and who has, perhaps surprisingly chosen Stoke to strut his sparkling stuff in England. Last Saturday, the Messi-like figure laid on two goals for big Belgian Marko Arnautovic, aided by

the hugely-talented Bojan and helped by a strong, sterling defence starring captain Ryan Shawcross that has not conceded a goal in 407 minutes.

Man City are now third and wingeing afterwards that he had Aguero, Toure and Kompany out injured, Manuel Pellegrini cut an unsympathetic figure considering City’s eye-watering expenditure on his overpaid squad - the vultures are circling over the Etihad Pepping up the usual big continental names, but City can revive Prem hopes if the Blues beat managerless Swansea at the Etihad on Saturday? Stoke go to West Ham who have faltered lately after a terrific start.

NOVEMBER MOYES FOR SWANSEA? AWARD Claudio Ranieri, Jurgen Klopp, Mauricio Pochettino and Roberto Martinez are nominations for November's Premier League Manager of the Month. Leicester boss Ranieri saw his side go top of the Premier League and stay there last month, remaining unbeaten with wins away to Newcastle and at home to Watford.

Former Manchester United Manager David Moyes is favourite to be the next Swansea manager, following the sacking of Garry Monk this week.

Moyes was sacked by Real Sociedad last month following a 12month stint in la Liga, winning just two of his games this season and leaving the club in 16th place.

Swansea’s soap opera now moves on with the midweek sacking of Garry Monk. Radically ruthless chairman Huw Jenkins has acted as expected and fired the 36 year old, sad given Monk’s loyal 11 year man and boy service to the club. Now previous but currently out-of-work manager Brendan Rodgers is tipped for a comeback to the valleys, amongst another of the usually failed and fired fellows like David Moyes. Latest to twist the knife and sink the Swans (3 -0) were THE PREM LEADERS LEICESTER CITY (capital performance, say it loud!). The only surprise was that Jamie Vardy didn’t score again despite several good chances, but generously helping to open the door wide open for another little belter of a striker, Riyad Mahrez who scored a hat trick, the Algerian’s now notched 10 Prem goals to challenge the Vardyman. Oh, and watch out for Leicester’s exciting midfielder N’Golo Kante, a Frenchman who laid on the best of Mahrez’s trio. Can The Foxes stay ahead of the baying pack? Arsenal lead those chasing hounds, finally getting the better of struggling Sunderland 3 – 1. Santi Cazorla may be out for three months but Aaron Ramsey scored the Gunners third and may now shine in the centre midfield with the Spaniard missing. Olivier Giroud had that rare claim to fame of scoring at both ends (good trick but not recommended), but followed that up with a great midweek hat trick in Europe.

MANIC

Y A D N MO Patience, please. We must all wait ‘til Monday evening to see two things. Will the league leaders Leicester keep up their amazing record by scoring profusely and winning – because the Foxes opponents are Chelsea. The London Blues are Premierly sweating, sitting nervously just two points above Newcastle who are 18th and head the Dreaded Drop Department, only one point above nasty neighbours Sunderland. Can Jose’s heroes of yesteryear shake off dull sloth and joyful rise again, back up the Prem from whence they came? (We’ll be kind and not mention the doomed Villains, Cap’n Mainwaring, who are home to jubilant Arsenal on Sunday – ah, shame in Brum…)

Last weekend Newcastle’s young Dutch star Georginio Wijnaldum shone through – at last.

Quite simply the Magpies outran Liverpool to deservedly, albeit unexpectedly, beat improving the improving Reds 2 – 0, Liverpool now at home to West Brom on Sunday. Flukey Toon result?

We’ll soon see, Newcastle go to fifth-placed Spurs on Sunday. Given the Chelsea result and Man United’s elimination from the Champions League on Tuesday, Bournemouth’s home game on Saturday evening against the Red Devils at Dean Court looks interesting – and a big personal test for Louis van Gaal to keep United up in the top four, and the impatient wolves away from the dug-out door.

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