The Courier - Edition 220

Edition 220

www.thecourier.es

Friday 8th May 2015

UP, UP, AND AWAY!

HOLIDAYS RUINED AS AGENT FLEES

ALEX TRELINSKI

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an Fulgencio-based travel agent has done a runner leaving customers out of pocket, with some of them unaware that there are any problems. “Ticket 2 Travel”, run by 40 year old Tommy Dahlberg had an operation based in the San Fulgencio Centro Comercial off the N332 road on Calle Mar Mediterraneo, but The Courier has discovered that the premises have been vacated for a number of weeks, with everything stripped out. Mr. Dahlberg meanwhile, has done a vanishing act.

“Ticket 2 Travel” existed as two companies, with “Ticket 2 Travel” UK being set up in August 2012, with records at Companies House stating that it had been dissolved in November 2014. Their British branch operated out of a Brentford address. In Spain, “Ticket 2 Travel” was regis-

tered as “Ticket 2 Travel SL”, and was constituted in April 2012, with it appearing on the Alicante companies register, which according to investiga-

and discovered only by chance that though their flights had been paid for, the hotel bookings had not. They claim that Mr. Dahlberg used

may be in for a surprise when they discover their autumn break may not have been paid for. One woman found that her flight to America was

HOLIDAY WINNER

Irene Stafford from Los Alcazares was the lucky winner of a fantastic trip for 2 people to Cuenca with David’s Coachtrips, full board, including excursions.

For more great trips away, make sure you check their advert on page 5 of The Courier.

BREAKING NEWS

ALL OUT...

The finale of the Spanish football season could be disrupted after the country's football federation said it intended to suspend all competitions over a dispute with the government over a new La Liga TV contract.

Sport

Elche Safe Page 45

tions by The Courier, has not filed any accounts in Alicante Province since it was formed over three years ago.

The company marketed itself as catering for British, German, and Scandinavian customers, many of whom may be unaware of what has been going on. A couple from the El Raso urbanisation in Guardamar, who asked for anonymity, told The Courier that they used Dahlberg’s agency on a personal recommendation to book a group trip this spring,

their credit card details to make unauthorised transfers, but fortunately were able to get their money back because of the insurance provision that came with their card provider.

Calls by The Courier to a variety of “Ticket 2 Travel” numbers have led to no reply or disconnected ring tones, whilst inquiries via e-mail, have seen messages “bounce back”. The company was popular for people booking cruises from Valencia City, and many customers

fine but her hotel had not got any money, whilst The Courier has heard an unsubstantiated report that one person had lost three thousand euros after dealing with “Ticket 2 Travel”. A series of denuncias from angry customers have been lodged against the company, and needless to say, The Courier would be more than happy to hear from Mr. Dahlberg to offer him a full right of reply, and of course from any of his clients who are experiencing problems.

Features

Courier TV Guide 8th May - 14th May

Starts page 20

TELEPHONE

966 921 003 679 096 309 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1600 EDITOR Alex Trelinski PRODUCTION EDITOR James Bone DESIGN ASSOCIATE Nicola Jane Cross

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Friday 8th May 2015

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

CHILD KNIFED TO DEATH, SO WHY DID NOBODY SPEAK OUT? ALEX TRELINSKI Torrevieja’s Guardia Civil arrested a man on Monday morning for allegedly stabbing his partner’s 10 year old son to death, after being called in to

tim of domestic violence. The 35 year-old mother, Silvia, who is of Polish nationality, had only hours earlier spoken to neighbours about the violent nature

deal with a domestic violence complaint. It’s the first such case for a decade involving a child being killed in a domestic incident in Spain. The drama unfolded in a house(pictured)on the city’s Torre Almendros urbanisation with the Guardia getting a call from a woman at 2.30am saying that she had been the vic-

of her partner, and the boy had also complained in the past, but nobody reported their concerns to the authorities. She had though filed complaints about two of her previous partners. Her son was buried yesterday afternoon(Thursday) with the funeral paid for by Torrevieja Council because she did not have enough

ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 188 - 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

RECORD FALL

Spain’s dole queues saw an all time record drop in April, in a further sign of an improving economy.

Jobless claims fell by 351,285 over the last year, with 118,923 fewer people registered as out of work in April alone, according to the

Labour Ministry. On a seasonally adjusted basis, unemployment fell by 50,160 on the month.

Despite the pick-up in hiring, there are still four point three million people out of work in the country.

Alicante Province saw a

money to do so herself.

The Guardia arrived at the house in the early hours of Monday morning, and when the mother opened the door to let the officers in, they discovered that the boy had multiple chest stab wounds caused by a kitchen knife. He was rushed to Torrevieja Hospital, where he died at around 3.30am.

After allegedly injuring the child, the 49-year-old Spaniard, Alfonso BG, then tried to commit suicide by slashing his chest and abdomen with the same knife but was apprehended by the Guardia officers and taken to hospital, leaving intensive care on Wednesday.

Valencia’s High Court confirmed that the man had a long history of violence against women, with four previously recorded incidents, though not against his current partner, who he had been with for 18 months. One of the past incidents involved breaking the hand of a girlfriend, whilst on at least one other occasion, he had been arrested after a comnear two per cent fall last month in those registering unemployed, with nearly four thousand fewer unemployed, taking the number of those on the dole to 196 thousand.

The Murcia region had an even greater percentage fall, with figures down by three point three percent compared to March, with just under 135 thousand people on the dole.

plaint. Residents of Torre Almendros told a vast array of local and national media that descended on the area on Monday that the man had “clashed” with neighbours and was “very violent” and “troubled”.

The newspaper, Informacion, has quoted one resident as saying that the 49 year old Spanish mother of the child had only been out earlier in the evening at a local bar and admitted that her partner used to hit her son, whilst the boy himself had told somebody else over a year ago that he had been physically assaulted

by the man. Another neighbour reported that the man would strike the child on a regular basis to find out information about her, including her whereabouts.

Torrevieja council led by Mayor, Eduardo Dolon, staged a minute’s silence (pictured) in memory of the boy at noon on Monday lunchtime. Alfonso BG had two sons, aged 12 and 16, from a previous marriage, and had spent several years in the Torre Almendros urbanisation, though he only lived with the dead boy’s mother for around 18 months.

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MAY SCORCHER

FIRST GEAR It was just like summer during the May Day holiday weekend across the Southern Costa Blanca and Mar Menor, with beaches like Arenales del Sol (pictured) busy at almost high season levels. Hotels across the Costa Blanca had an average occupancy rate of 85 percent, some three percent more than the same holiday period last year, whilst Benidorm hoteliers reported full houses. Temperatures reached the mid-thirties in some inland areas last Sunday and Monday with the good weather set to continue into next week.`

Spanish new car sales rose three point two cent year-on-year in April, according to the manufacturers' association Anfac. The figures released this week mark 20 straight months of growth, but they were massively down from a 40.5 percent rise a month earlier. The government-backed PIVE subsidy scheme to boost new vehicle acquisitions has helped spur on purchases over the last two years, though the latest phase ended at the beginning of April. The subsidy is expected to be extended one more time through an injection of around 200 million euros.

LAST POST

Monday saw the first of a series of post office strikes across Spain by Correos workers, timed to coincide with the start of postal voting for the local and regional elections in three weeks' time. Correos' 52,000 workers have been called upon to down tools in protest over mass redundancies – 15,500 in five years – wage freezes and a failure on the part of the State-run firm to reach agreements during union negotiations.

GOOD ROUND

The Costa Blanca has been placed third in a list of the top 10 golfing destinations in Europe, with Palma in Mallorca being named first. Tenerife and the Costa del Sol all feature as well in the Avios Airmiles Value Tracker poll, though perhaps somewhat surprisingly the Murcia region does not feature, which includes the famous La Manga course.

FLAGGED UP

Los Alcazares has been officially recognised as having some of the best water sports facilities in Spain, with the municipality picking up a special flag in a presentation at Playa Carrion last week. The award was announced by the Spanish Association of Marine Resorts at the major tourism FITUR fair in Madrid at the start of the year.

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CLENCHING TIME

Friday 8th May 2015

EYE OF THE TIGER

A group of drug smugglers based around Elche and Santa Pola have been rounded up by the National Police. The ten strong gang also operated in Elda and Monovar, with police arresting the Spanish and Columbian nationals after a six month operation. A substantial quantity of drugs was seized along with cash, mobile phones and cars.

Somewhat bizarrely the animal welfare division of the Guardia Civil have been brought into the investigation, after cops also discovered a tiger head, which had been illegally stuffed in Spain. Three of the gang were remanded into custody after appearing before an Elche judge.

SENIOR FLAT SERVICE MYSTERY

Ryanair passengers returning to London from San Javier airport had to keep their buttocks nice and tight, as they were told there would be no toilet paper on their three-hour flight.

As customers settled into their seats, the cabin crew announced the news during their safety demonstration.

Passengers were also advised that there would be no milk available for the duration of the flight a week last Sunday to London Stansted.

A Ryanair spokesperson said: 'This very rare and regrettable stock shortage (on our last flight of the day) was caused by the failure of our handling agents in Murcia to deliver toilet rolls and milk sachets that had been ordered on the turnaround at San Javier'.

RADAR LOVE

Around two thousand people took part in May Day walk last Friday in Torrevieja to celebrate Seniors Day (DĂ­a del Mayor). The event was staged on Paseo Vista Alegre with demonstrations and entertainment all part of the celebrations that were blessed summer-like weather. Meanwhile, the city is staging the May Fair through till this Sunday.

START SAVING

Authorities are none the wiser as to what caused the partial-collapse of a five floor Elche apartment block towards the end of last month. There were no serious injuries after the building caved in on Monday April 27th, with council officials awaiting further reports, before allowing 10 families in unaffected parts of the complex to move back in. Theories still place rotting concrete towards the top of the building as the cause of the incident.

CHIMP SHOT SHOCK

A driver who tried to outwit the Catalan Guardia Civil (Mossos) with a speed radar detector and inhibitor has paid dearly for his crime. The Mossos were left scratching their heads when a speeding car wasn't registering on their traps on a road in the Barcelona area last month, and when they stopped the speedster, they found the gear on his dashboard. One of the gizmos was used to knock out any radar traps, but the Mossos had the last laugh. The man had nine points put onto his license and fined over six thousand euros for using the illegal equipment.

LOWER TOLL

Three fewer people died on the Valencian region's roads in the first four months of this year compared to 2014. 30 people lost their lives compared to 33 over the same period last year, with 318 people dying across the country, some four fewer than 2014.

A father and son could face a fine of 14 and a half million euros as well as 18 years in jail for trying to land with 389 kilos of cocaine in a marina at Torre de la Horadada last January. The prosecutor's long prison sentence request as well as the fine (based on the market value of the drugs) comes after the 70 year old man and his 43 year old son were caught red-handed by the Guardia Civil trying to land their stash at Torre, just metres away from the Guardia's Pilar de la Horadada barracks. The boat owner had been paid 130 thousand euros to sail with the drugs down the coast from Santa Pola.

Animal rights groups have slammed the Guardia Civil for shooting dead a chimpanzee named Eve who escaped from a safari park on Mallorca with her companion Adam. Adam and Eve(pictured), who weigh about 80 kilograms each, fled the Sa Coma safari park on Monday afternoon after apparently breaking out of their cage. The Guardia launched a search and a few hours later found the female, who was then killed by forest rangers.

The Guardia were investigating how the chimps escaped.

"It is not very clear, but it seems they broke the bars of their cage," a spokesman said. "These animals are very strong.

They can lift double their weight." The zoo declined to comment, referring all calls to the Guardia.

Javier Moreno of the Spanish animal rights group Igualdad Animal said it was "a sad and unjust end to an even sadder life, lived behind bars". "It is not the first time desperate animals have escaped from these places and been shot dead, and it will not be the last."

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Friday 8th May 2015

ROUNDABOUT COMPROMISE

Controversial plans which would have closed off two roads by La Zenia roundabout on the N332 have been changed in a new 46 thousand euro project announced by Orihuela council.

Access to Calles Maestro Torralba and Alhambra off the roundabout would have been affected, but now they are to be turned into one-way streets. Original proposals to restrict parking led to uproar from local businesses, but a compromise has been agreed between the council and Ministry of Development, with additional parking being created to compensate areas where it will be removed.

I DO, BUT LATER...

Spain's minimum legal age for marriage has gone up from 14 to 16, and notaries and court secretaries will also be allowed to carry out weddings and uncontested divorces where there are no underage children involved. Changes to the Criminal Code two years ago meant the minimum legal age for consenting sexual relations went up from 13 to 16, and minimum marriage age has risen in line with this. It also means that for a minor, under 18, to be considered an 'adult' in all legal senses of the word through marriage, will not have that stipulation applying until they are 16. Previously, a 14-year-old who legally married would no longer be considered a 'minor' at law.

Court secretaries, notaries, Civil Registry managers, justice of the peace, mayors or elected councillors can now perform marriage ceremonies and attend to fostering and adoption matters. The aim is to free up judges to clear their backlog of court cases by giving legal matters which do not involve disputes to other representatives of judicial bodies.

GROWTH BOOST

Spain's economic growth accelerated in the first quarter of 2015, according to official figures, suggesting that the country's recovery from recession is gathering apace, even though jobless figures are still high. Economic output expanded by 0.9 percent in the January-March period on a quarterly basis, up from 0.7 percent in the previous quarter, according to provisional figures from the National Statistics Institute. It was the seventh consecutive time that Spain was posting quarterly growth. On an annual basis the Spanish economy, the Eurozone’s fourth-largest, grew by 2.6 per cent in the first quarter, up from 2.0 per cent in the previous three month period. Spain expanded by 1.4 percent in 2014 -- its first full-year of growth since a property bubble burst in 2008, throwing millions of people out of work - due to increased consumer spending and business investment

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IN TUNE

ON TARGET

Former Smiths leader singer, Morrissey (pictured in Murcia), wowed close to a capacity 20 thousand fans on last Friday's first day of the two day SOS music festival in Murcia City, Also on the first day line-up was the British electronic trio, Years and Years who scored a UK number one this year with King, in addition to a top line up of Spanish acts.

Work is hoping to be completed by the summer on laying new electric cables around the centre of Almoradi as well as the introduction of energy efficient and cost effective LED street-lighting. Disruption to the roads in an area surrounding the Plaza de la Constituci贸n have impacted on local businesses, who have been assured that the works will be done before the peak tourist season. The 456 thousand euro project is part of the council's energy efficiency plan.

BIG SPLASH

Santa Pola's first water and boat fair, Firanautic, was a big success last weekend according organisers and the local council. Thousands of visitors checked out the exhibitors and demonstrations based around Santa Pola's yacht marina, with various activities involving diving and fishing also taking place. The event is planned to be staged on an annual basis.

POOR PRIORITY

ZIG ZAGGER

An intoxicated Polish lorry driver carrying a cargo of vegetables is to lose his driving license for four years, after he was found to be nine times over the alcohol limit when he was travelling through the Murcia region.

The 55 year old drunk caused a commotion on A30 motorway as his 40 ton truck zig zagged its way en route from Lorca to Puente Tocinos in Murcia City.

A local union has slammed Torrevieja's police chief for not having checked on the safety of school transport in the area for two years. The SIPOL union claims that the chief has prioritised other areas, and have made their comments after six children suffered minor injuries after a car collided with a school bus in the Aguas Nuevas area of Torrevieja last month.

HEALTHY ADDITION

The private Chiron Hospital in Torrevieja has launched a new ambulance service. The company claims that the vehicle, which is equipped with basic life support equipment to be a mobile intensive care unit, can deal with all kinds of emergencies and will also be used to take patients to the Chiron facility in Torrevieja. Chiron's regional director, Rafael Gimenez, said that the vehicle was "important in helping to continue to provide quality services to the Vega Baja region".

LONG DRINK RATTED OUT

SAMPLING TRADITIONS

Pilar de la Horadada's fourth Seville (sevillanas) fair celebrating Spain's Andalucia region ended last Sunday with visitors flocking to the area to enjoy the four day festival of art, dance, cuisine, and culture. Good weather combined with the holiday weekend, helped to boost attendance figures.

Prosecutors are calling for a seven and a half year jail sentence for a Romanian man who turned violent in a San Pedro del Pinatar bar in 2008. The man, named as Lucian C. is accused of assaulting two customers in the bar with broken beer bottles as well as causing damage to the premises.

A woman has pled guilty to trying to kill her husband by sprinkling rat poison into his food and medicine. The 35 year old Ecuadorian Nube Roc铆o accepted a seven and a half year jail sentence after her appearance at an Elche court. Her husband, Edwyn, who is also aged 35 and an Ecuadorian national, had to be rushed to Vega Baja Hospital from his Rafal home after Nube poisoned him over a number of days in February last year. She broke down in court and changed her plea after one of her two daughters was scheduled to take the stand.

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Little

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ALL HANDS TO THE PUMP - A BABY’S ON THE WAY!

DAVE SILVER

BEFORE our two children and the dogs came along, Mrs S and I lived together alone.

Like a lot of newly-weds, we started off with nothing and, because of my chronic mismanagement of our finances ever since, it looks like we'll be going out that way, too.

'I'm going to have to phone the bank manager in the morning to beg for a loan,' I said to Mrs S the other evening. 'No chance of getting one,' she responded. 'What can we offer as collateral?'

'Let me think about that for a moment,' I said and dashed into the bedroom to look up the word 'collateral' in the dictionary.

It might have just crossed your mind, dear reader, that it is rather odd to keep a dictionary in the boudoir. The answer to that unasked question is that Mrs S adores doing crosswords under the duvet before she goes to sleep.

I don't mind her nighttime hobby because it means that she isn't shouting at me for one imagined reason or another. But I do resent her getting me involved in her word puzzles when all I want to do is to fall asleep in order to have fabulous dreams in which I feature as a far finer fellow than I am in actuality.

The other night, Mrs S

licked the end of her pencil and announced across the covers: 'Nine across. The clue is a five-letter word meaning a dimwit, bone-

would fit.'

Knowing I was bound to bitterly regret it, I asked: 'So what was your original answer for a five-letter

she announced.

'Don't move!' I yelled and ran into the kitchen. I was there for some time.

'Why are you in hiding?'

head or twit.'

'The word you are looking for is idiot,' I said, yawning furiously as I attempted desperately to return to my dream in which I was rescuing Dolly Parton from a shipload of pirates.

'Of course it is,' agreed Mrs S, rubbing out her original answer. 'I suspected I'd got it wrong when none of the down answers

word meaning a dimwit, bonehead or twit?'

'I'd written the name David,' giggled Mrs S. 'Goodnight, dear,' I responded coldly. 'And hello, Dolly,' I whispered warmly into my pillow.

Which reminds me. I was sitting in the living room more than 40 years ago when Mrs S arrived home with some surprise news. 'I'm having a baby,'

Mrs S called out. 'I thought you'd be overjoyed at the prospect of launching the next generation of Silvers.

Don't you want to be a patriarch?'

I ran back into the living room. 'It's okay,' I tried to reassure her. 'We should have lashings of hot water in a few minutes. I've put full pans on all four burners on the stove. I've even filled the oven tray and put

it under the grill. Now all we need are towels. I saw it in a film once.'

'Nincompoop!' she shrieked. 'I'm not having the baby for months yet.

I've just come back from my first visit to the doctor.'

'Oh,' I said, somewhat deflated. 'Any idea of what we can do with a tray of grilled water?'

'Just pour it into the teapot,' Mrs S sighed. 'I believe I've got time for a cuppa before I report to the hospital in a few weeks.'

Ironically, it turned out to be me who ended up in the hospital within the hour.

I'd gone back into the kitchen to tidy up my mess but the room was so full of steam from the boiled water that I couldn't see a thing and had consequently banged my head on a cupboard door.

'How did you injure yourself?' asked the casualty doctor as he stitched my scalp wound.

'It was my wife getting pregnant that did it,' I replied.

The doctor shook his head. 'Then I suggest you act a little less energetically during your romantic sessions.'

A few months later Mrs S came home clutching a small bundle of joy. 'We'll call him Brian,' she announced.

'Call him whatever you want,' I said. 'But I really do feel that your timing is

off. Fancy buying a puppy dog just days before our baby is due. How are you possibly going to fuss over the both of them with equal dollops of maternal pride?'

Mrs S thought for a moment. 'I'll just pretend that Brian and the new baby are twins -- obviously not identical ones, though.'

Our son arrived in hospital on the very day he was expected -- and there wasn't a pan of boiling water in sight. Just a couple of years later, Mrs S had another baby, a girl this time, and our family was complete.

Now I simply have to stop writing at this point because I've got to make that dreaded phone call to my bank manager about the loan . . .

'Hello, It's Dave Silver here,' I said when I got put through. 'I'm the bloke who brings pleasure to expats on the Costa Blanca with my wondrously hilarious articles. Oh, how those Brits chortle, giggle, cackle and roar at my adventures in The Courier.

'Well,' I concluded nervously. 'I was just wondering if your bank might be in a position to lend this funny guy, namely me, some money.'

There was a brief silence at the other end of the phone and then the bank manager said: 'You are seeking a loan? Surely, you're having a laugh.'

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Friday 8th May 2015

BEACH CALL FAKE MONK

JAILED

ANGRY BEES

A woman was seriously injured and four others were treated after suffering repeated stings from a swarm of bees. The 69 year old woman was taken into intensive care at a Toledo hospital. Authorities said she had received at least 100 stings to her body when she and her family were attacked while walking on a path near the village of Méntrida near Toledo. The woman’s husband also suffered severe stings and was treated at hospital before being released on Sunday. Three other family members were also treated at a nearby hospital following the attack.

A local animal rights group is lobbying Guardamar council for dogs to be allowed access to a local beach. Andrés Navarro of La Asociación Animalistas Torrevieja-Guardamar says that he wants to get the views of all the political parties standing in this month's local elections, adding that he had heard about, but not seen a report commissioned by the council saying that beach access to dogs would have a positive effect on attracting visitors to the area

A man who vandalised 71 Barcelona parking meters, causing some 100 thousand euros in damage, has been arrested by the city police. The 34 year old had an intricate knowledge of how the machines worked and knew had to take money out of them with specially crafted tools. He was collared in the middle of trying to take a machine apart in the Sant Andreu area of the Barcelona.

A new website offering tourist information for the Pilar de la Horadada area has just been launched. The site called 'www.visitpilardelahoradada.com' is initially offering information in Spanish, but will soon have English, French and German sections, as well as material in Russian and Finnish.

The council's tourist information office will supply details on where to stay, as well as dining and leisure sections.

PARKED UP

ON LINE

A man who pretended to be a shaolin monk has been sentenced to 38 years in prison for the brutal murder of two women in Bilbao. Juan Carlos Aguilar murdered Colombian Jenny Sofía Rebollo, 40 and Maureen Ada Otuya, 29, in May and June 2013 in his gym. The self-proclaimed monk picked up Rebollo, a mother of two, and drove her to his gym where he killed her and then cut her body, hiding pieces in the gym and his flat as well as burning part of the remains. A fortnight later, he picked up Otuya and took her to the gym, where he strangled and attacked her. A neighbour heard screams and alerted the police, who found the woman unconscious. She died 48 hours later in hospital.

During the trial, which took place in Bilbao, Aguilar admitted the murders, uttering "I admit everything," the most he said during the trial. He received a sentence of 19 years in jail for each of the murders. The self-titled "shaolin monk" taught a vast array of martial arts and meditation techniques to pupils from Spain and overseas at his Bilbao gym, decorated like a Buddhist temple, a self-proclaimed Buddhist monastery he called Ocean of Tranquillity.

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Local

Friday 8th May 2015

RASCALS ENCORE

The Rascals group put on the classic song Chim Chim Cher-ee from Walt Disney’s Mary Poppins as part of their successful two nights of their latest show, Both Sides of the Pond. There were no dodgy Dick Van Dyke British-style chimney sweep accents as audiences enjoyed British and American favourites over two nights at the Los Montesinos music school. The big bonus was that two thousand euros was raised for Age Concern and the needy of Los Montesinos. There’s a chance to catch a further performance at Torrevieja’s Virgen del Carmen theatre on Tuesday May 26th from 7.30pm. Tickets at six euros each can be reserved by calling Sue on 966 784 874, or by using the theatre box office.

SHE’S IN FASHION

FAREWELL JACK

The congregation at Torrevieja’s International Christian Assembly gave a special send-off to their Senior Elder, 82year-old Jack Kirk, who is moving back to the UK. They were asked to come up with three words that best described Jack, and they were then put into a computer, which worked out the most popular words, which were then framed and presented to Jack, and presented to him by pastor Raphael Restrepo.

Jack had a distinguished military career, serving in the Grenadier Guards as an 18year-old, before joining the Metropolitan Police, and then the Hertfordshire constabulary. After spending time, in the Salvation Army, he joined the Royal Astronomical Society in an administrative position, and he decided to move to Spain, after his wife died. “When I was serving in Egypt I loved the climate and when a neighbour told me about the possibility of a good life in Spain I decided it was for me, and so I moved to Torrevieja," said Jack. He then became one of the founders of the ICA working to build up the congregation to its sixty plus membership that it has today.

"I have mixed feelings about leaving, as after all I have so many wonderful friends here, but I felt it wise to do so while I still have relatively good health and before I lose control of my independence," he added.

SPANGLING HAT TRICK

The Emerald Isle at La Florida on the Orihuela Costa put in just over 400 euros recently into the coffers of the Paul Cunningham Nurses Charity after hosting a charity fun day. The charity put on a fashion show, with all the models coming from their charity shops around the area.

BIGGER SPACE

Help at Home Costa Blanca´s new charity shop in the Playa Flamenca Commercial Centre officially its doors this week to many eager customers. Called The Charity Centre, the outlet is immediately next door to the old premises in Calle Niagara, and is double the size of the old unit which has allowed the charity to greatly extend is sales area. It’s also got extra space for mobility equipment available for hire and also an area where clients can speak to staff and helpers in comfort.

Shop manager Eileen Evett said: "The old shop was so cramped it was difficult to display items property and it was difficult for customers to see what was for sale. We were delighted to see so many customers on our first day of opening on Monday, with a far larger display of clothing and other items.”

Unwanted items are gratefully received at The Charity Centre between 10.30am and 2pm.

VITAL INFO

Losing a loved one is something that we will all sadly experience, and the stress involved with this can be greater in Spain, with the problems and expense, in addition to any language difficulties. The Chatters group of Help at Home Mar Menor will be discussing the matter at their next meeting on Wednesday May 20th at The Pasty Shack in the Mercadona Precinct in Los Alcazares. You will be able to enjoy a free tea or coffee and a light snack, as well as joining in a fun quiz and getting answers to those all important questions. The meeting starts at 10.30 am for 11.00 am.

The Spangles Ladies’ Harmony Chorus have become the Spanish Barbershop singing champions for the third successive time. They got their third crown in Benalmádena last month, to add to victories in 2011 and 2013. The rules mean that they have to give the competition a miss the following year if they are the champions, so the hat trick has taken place over five contests! The ladies meet and rehearse at the Las Claras restaurant in Los Alcazares and are always on the lookout for new members. For more details, phone Lyn on 968 574 987 or go to their website, www.spanglechorus.com

Friday 8th May 2015

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Life

Dog

12

PETER SINGH It is with great sadness that I write that Phoenix, the dog we rescued in January, who was beaten with shovels and buried alive, peacefully passed away last week. This poor dog had endured abuse all of his life and when he came to us he was around 12 years old. In his day, he would have been a huge dog, as he was a Mastin cross and he truly was the original gentle giant.

He represented to us, everything that a dog stands for. Forgiveness, love and loyalty are some of the qualities he had in abundance.

In the end, Phoenix had had enough.

Everyday, we use to wash him, as he could not stand and we had to turn him over several times a day, for his own comfort.

The night before he passed away, you could barely touch him, as he was in so much pain and I knew at that point that it would be cruel to keep him in this state. The moment we had dreaded had arrived. It was time to say goodbye to a dog who we had lavished with love, respect and devotion, as did he to us. When he passed,

Friday 8th May 2015

Check Out: www.thedogyouneed.com

Email: peter@thedogyouneed.com

PHOENIX AT PEACE

Jean held his big fluffy paw and I held his head.

A few seconds later he was at peace. As the tears rolled down our faces, we knew that the last four months for Phoenix had been very different to what he had experienced before and we are honoured to have been given the chance to make sure that this boy experienced love before he died.

Our relationship with Phoenix, really was very

special. I remember in January, I filmed a video of us together, to keep his supporters updated on his progress. When I watched the video back, I simply could not believe what I was watching. As I spoke into the camera, with Phoenix’s head laying on my lap, the room was filled with orbs! I have never witnessed anything like it in my entire life. He was a very special and ancient spirit

and I know that one day we will once again be reunited.

After he died, a friend sent me the following poem, which was the most moving and emotional piece I have ever read:Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are mead-

ows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your

face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... www.thedogyouneed.c om is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.c om or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60-16-03 and the account number is 73754900. Anyone wanting to pay into the Spanish account, can do, where the details are The Spanish account is Cajamurcia bank.

Account number 9007006467. IBAN ES42 0487 0485 7290 0700 6467. BIC - GBMNESMMXXX. When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you sincerely.

PETS CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Lexy is around one year old and she’s a Pointer cross and is good with other dogs, Lexy loves to be around people and is sterilised. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

SANCHO

JAKE

ARCHIE Archie was found in a derelict house with his mum and siblings, and has reached his full height of 40 cms. He’s a wee affectionate dog, who is fully vaccinated and will soon have his passport. Please call 634 065 540 or email lasthopedogrescue@outlook.com

Jake is a three month old Border Collie who was left at the gates of the APAH kennels, full of worms and covered in fleas and ticks. Now he is a healthy puppy and in a foster home whilst he waits for a loving home to grow up in. If you would like to BABU meet Jake, please call 630 422 Babu is a small long haired 563. dog aged about 18 months. He is a fun and very affectionate dog, with is great with other dogs and would be a great addition to an active family. Please phone P.E.P.A. on 650 304 746or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Sancho is a five year old male Pointer who is very friendly to people and other dogs, and loves to be cuddled. He is very active and has had all vaccinations. For more about Sancho, visit www.k9club.es or call 600 845 420.

LEXY

ESTRELLA Estrella is eleven years old and loves being with people and will follow you around or sit with you. For more details phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Friday 8th May 2015

13

NEED AN ADVISER TO MANAGE YOUR PENSION IN THE UK?

income tax and inheritance tax. By transferring your fund to a SIPP, your pension will remain in the UK and if you wanted to move your pension into a QROPS at a later date then this can be done at no charge. The other advantage is that it costs a lot less than transferring your pension fund to a QROPS. The greatest benefit of transferring to a SIPP is that we can manage it for you to get you the best potential growth from your pension. We will offer you different investment options and then monitor the progress of your pension fund.

The advantage is that you will have total control of your pension. With our help you will decide how and where it is invested. You will be able to track each Mark Harrison investment fund´s performance. If you are not happy Partner with a particular fund then we can switch the money 1.

Do you know where or how its invested?

AES International 2. Are you getting regular updates on how each into another fund. I believe the only way to maximise fund is performing? any investment fund´s performance whether it be a 3. Are you maximising all the investment oppor- pension fund or an investment portfolio is to spread your money over many different investment products tunities that are open to you? and then monitor each product to ensure that they are If not, then we can help you! One option is to transfer on track. If you would like us to look at your existing your pension to a UK Self-Invested Personal Pension UK pension arrangements then please call me to (SIPP). A SIPP gives you a greater range of invest- make an appointment and I can explain in more detail ment choice than a personal pension plan, notably how a SIPP can benefit you. You can call me on 965 equities and property. Also while it´s invested, the 704 338 or email me at mark.harrison@aesinternaSIPP remains tax free and so avoids capital gains tax, tional.com There have been a lot of articles written about transferring your pension away from the UK. But what if you wanted to leave your pension in the UK? Many clients have UK pension funds but do not wish to transfer them into a QROPS. This may be due to the cost of a QROPS or quite simply because they prefer to leave it in the known and safe jurisdiction of the UK (better the devil you know, and all that !) Often, clients move to Spain and no longer have a Financial Adviser to recommend how to get the best growth from their pension fund. This is because many UK advisers will not deal with non-UK clients. If you have a UK pension fund, ask yourself these questions;

14

Friday 8th May 2015

About

Life GET VOTES THAT COUNT

TONY MAYES

After week upon week of argument and counter argument, it´s finally over, and we know the result of the election. I’ve penned my column before the votes were cast due to print deadlines for The Courier, but it is my hope is that Britain has not lurched to the left, thus setting in train increased borrowing; reduced confidence in the country; a falling pound; a rise in prices; a rise in interest rates and eventually a rise in taxes to pay for increased welfare. But what's sad about the election process in Britain is that whether the government is blue or red depends on the whim of a few hundred thousand voters in a few marginal constituencies. It doesn´t matter how people vote in the remainder of the UK constituencies (unless there´s a landslide like in Scotland, of course) because they remain unchanged regardless. I cannot for the life of me understand how people can change their allegiance from Labour to Conservative and back again, via Lib Dem or another minority party.

People who do that presumably haven´t a clue what they are actually voting for, and that makes me sad that the future of the country is left to such people. Proportional representation would put an end to such nonsense and we would have true democracy for the first time. How any politician who values democracy can argue against proportional representation beats me unless, of course, it´s just self-interest. Far be it for me to suggest that!

A UK court story has really appalled me involv-

ing a wretched 24-year-old mother of three who set her Staffordshire bull terriertype dog on a kitten and laughed as it mauled the animal to death. She was walking the dog on a lead in St Annes, Lancashire, when her neighbour´s black cat emerged. She then released the dog after seeing it lunge towards the Bengal cat and then laughed as it chased the feline. It caught the cat and carried it in its mouth until a neighbour intervened and the cat was released. But it died of a punctured lung and had puncture wounds on its neck. The RSPCA, which brought the case, said the woman seemed to be encouraging the whole incident. So, what would you have done with the woman if you were the judge? Jail? Huge fine?

She received what so many people seem to get these days in Britain - a non-sentence of 2 years in jail, suspended for 18 months. Big deal! She was ordered to pay £200 costs and an £80 victim surcharge and was banned from owning or keeping animals for 10 years. This is a mother of three. Do you think a person capable of this should be in charge of children? I don´t. What an appalling example is this stupid woman setting for the next generation. Sadly there are so many equally stupid people who are parents and it´s no wonder that we have many young people going off the rails when we have a growing number of people capable of breeding but with very few brain cells, not fit to bring up the next generation.

Incidentally, the dog was re-homed, not put down.

Now I bring you two UK

stories targeting women and sexism.

One concerned Poppy Smart who was sick to the back teeth with men wolf -whistling her as she walked past a building site. The other was over a national advertising campaign by Protein World promoting their products and showing a slim bikini-clad woman asking whether everyone was beach body

Goodness, I can´t think of anything more frightening than that - whether it happened in my 20's or now. I probably would want the ground to swallow me up!

As for the bikini-clad girl asking us whether we are beach ready, all I can say is I get sick and tired of adverts showing body beautiful girls or glamorous couples. Sadly, we are not

whole of society said enough is enough.

Drugs have been in the headlines this past week, firstly as a result of Indonesia executing drug traffickers by firing squad, with the Asian country having harshest punishments in the world (probably only second to ISIS).

Then came news that a tug intercepted in the North Sea

would have been ruined, how many people may have died? I believe Indonesia is right in executing drug traffickers and the rest of the world should follow suit. If it did, lives might be saved from ruin through the greed of others. I very much doubt if Hungary´s attempt to persuade the EU will be successful, but I don´t think that prison is a

ready. Oh, come on girls, you know you want to take part in this protein diet to slim down so you can look gorgeous so you will be wolf whistled by hunks on building sites! Only kidding, only kidding! To put the record straight, I cannot believe any girl would want to be the centre of attention from bum cleavage-showing sweaty labourers. So, good for Poppy, who´s a 23-year-old marketing exec, for going to the police and making a complaint, after being subjected to the same crap for weeks.

Perhaps it's time for girls to turn the tables and start embarrassing men.

all like them and bucket loads of pills, diet foods and other concoctions are not going to make the slightest difference.

These adverts, I am sure, make other women upset with their lot because they don´t shape up, and too many men look at these pictures and at best wonder why they can´t get such a girl of their dreams or at worst get turned on by them and are tempted into a sexual crime. Sadly, the more people complain about such adverts, the more notoriety they get and the more the product sells.

So feminist complaints are self-defeating. It´s time the

was carrying a 'mountain' of cocaine worth around £500m - believed to be the biggest single class A seizure in the UK, with more than three tonnes of cocaine recovered. Nine Turkish men were charged with drug trafficking offences over the estimated £500m.

Meanwhile, Hungary's prime minister has said he wants to debate the possible reintroduction of the death penalty with his European Union partners.

Just imagine how many people would have become addicted to drugs had the £500m haul hit the streets of Britain? How many lives

sufficient deterrent for drug traffickers, terrorists or murderers.

And finally, cast a thought as to how miraculous it is that you are here alive and able to read this column today. Why do I say this? Well, research has found that women most desire sex at 11.21pm but men´s optimum time for passion is more than 15 hours earlier, at 7.54am.

Despite a busy day in the office or running errands, the fairer sex is most likely to feel passionate between 11.00pm and 2.00am. Men are far more inclined to feel sexy before midday though, with the preferred time slot

15

Single

Friday 8th May 2015

Life

RIDDLE OF MICHAELA’S MURDER

JEANETTE ERATH I’ve been touching the world of unsolved murder cases in my columns for the last fortnight, and I thought I’d bring you another story that has fascinated me. This week, I´m writing about a young woman who was in a job that has an unacceptably high murder rate, and unfortunately the group that most likely has the most unsolved murders, it´s also a type of work that doesn´t initiate much sympathy among the general public when they hear one has been killed. It seems easy to forget that regardless of their job these young women are still humans with the same basic rights as the rest of us. I´m talking about prostitutes, the group of working girls considered the oldest profession in the world.

Demand and supply playing a part as in every business, however for some reason the lifestyle of prostitutes is looked down on and when one young lady gets killed, interest among the rest of the public is low and therefore there is less information and less likelihood of anyone getting their just desserts.

As there have been many prostitutes killed on the streets of the UK in the past few decades how did I

choose which one to pick? As I was flicking through the lists of unsolved cases one in particular jumped out at me for a very unusual reason. I have not heard of this before and indeed in my police days we were told what we had to do in the case that we were faced with this dilemma however, thank goodness I never had to bring it to use.

Michaela Hague was a 25 year old mother of one who lived with her partner and young son in Sheffield. Why she was working the streets isn´t clear but on Bonfire Night 14 years ago, she had been letting off fireworks with her family before heading off to work, but she would not live to see the following day. She was found by a friend at 8.00 pm in a secluded car park having suffered 19 stab wounds to her neck and back. The first on scene was a police officer, PC Twigg, and this is what makes this case unusual.

Michaela was conscious when she was found and after trying to help her, the officer got a description of the attacker which he wrote down on his hand. Miss Hague described the man who stabbed her as white, about 38 years old

and clean shaven. She also said he was about 6 feet tall and he wore a blue fleece, glasses and a wedding ring. One working girl

What must have been going through PC Twigg´s mind as he jotted down details on his hand knowing that this young girl will

said that she saw an old style blue Ford Sierra driving away from the location of where Michaela was picked up at the same time.

Despite getting help, Michaela died in hospital three hours later.

most likely die from the horrific injuries that she had been the victim of, as well as trying to administer first aid? There is a certain phrase that we must use from dying victims before a statement

can be taken, and although this is different as it wasn´t an actual statement I can´t help but wonder if the police officer found the courage to speak those words you hope never to have to utter. I don´t remember the exact wording but it started with the person making the report understanding that they are going to die and that they make the testimony as a death bed statement. I suppose it´s more likely PC Twigg just asked Miss Hague for a description which was jotted on his palm.

Despite this description, no one has ever been caught for this crime. It is possible that her murderer is now serving time for something else, and maybe we will never know as Michaela’s brutal murder joins the list of sad cases that cannot be solved.

Unless new evidence comes to light this young lady´s death will remain open and her family will not receive the peace they deserve.

Murder is thankfully incredibly rare and usually the victims are known to their attackers. Stranger crime is almost non-existent, so for most of us there is no need to worry, and statistically Western

Europe is one of the safest areas of the world. There are things though that reduce your chances of being a murder victim. Take precautions when travelling; get your keys out of your bag before you leave a public area especially at night, as this not only means you can get straight in your car, but keys can become an instant weapon should the unthinkable happen and you get grabbed. If you´re a runner who regularly runs the same, unoccupied route you might want to consider changing your time or route now and then.

Statistically most killings are committed by people who are known to one another, either as a result of an argument or by an abusive partner, I cannot begin to cover domestic violence in more detail than I have done, therefore I will just say get out! With regards to other crimes; personal attack alarms are a great idea assuming they´re not at the bottom of your bag as it gets grabbed by a thief.

Remember though that your life is more important than a handbag.

Take care and remember that we live in an incredibly safe, beautiful country, so enjoy it and have a great week.

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Friday 8th May 2015

Spanish

Life Say it in Spanish Spanish 171

JEANETTE ERATH Last week we began to build sentences to make speaking Spanish easier and more fun.

It´s never enjoyable to sit at home reading grammar books and learning verb conjugations, so with these lessons we are going to be speaking Spanish, and I hope that by the end of this series of lessons you have more confidence in speaking the language and are putting it into practise when you go out and about. You are in the best place to learn by living here, there is no excuse, even if it´s popping into a local bar or shop, you always have the opportunity to speak.

Last week we used the verbs querer and tener, I hope you took it upon yourself to learn the rest of the conjugations of these two irregular verbs and are now aware of how to say them both whomever you are talking about.

This week we are keeping things fairly simple with a few

more verbs and some sentence building and I hope you soon get the hang of it so when we move on to more complicated structures you stay with me.

The first verb we are going to use is the verb to go which if you remember last week is ir, this is another irregular verb which we need to learn word by word, Today I am going to use the first person singular (I) conjugation, I go = voy the pronunciation is pretty much how it´s written, the oy is pronounced the same as in boy and with the v and b sounds being very similar in Spanish some Spaniards even pronounce voy as boy. An important thing to remember is that the literal translation of voy is I go however it is commonly used in Spanish to mean I am going, and when it is used to mean something in the future we have to use the following form ir + a, followed by the verb in the infinitive. So how do you think we say I am going to go? Have a think and then read on. That´s right: voy a ir, the words for to the beach are

a la playa. So in Spanish, as in English we can say voy a ir a la playa or simply voy a la playa. Remember your pronunciation for playa which is difficult to write but is similar to ply ya. There are various sites where you can listen to the pronunciation of Spanish words if you´re not sure how to use them, one of these is ´google translate´ where you translate the word then you can listen to a Spanish speak-

er pronounce it, use something like this if you are in any doubt, although as a phonetic language Spanish is easier to pronounce than English.

Next verb we are going to work with is one of the verbs which in English is to be that is estar, we use this verb to talk about things that aren´t permanent and locations. You have probably heard people say ´¿cómo estás?´ which means how are you? and comes from

the verb estar. It´s another irregular verb and the way to say I am is estoy , again the pronunciation is like it would be in English es toy. The Spanish word for happy is feliz. So to say I am happy we simply say estoy feliz. The word for where is donde. The only thing to remember with the pronunciation is the letter ´e´ at the end of a word, in Spanish it is pronounced ´ay´ as in ´day´ so we would say don day. When

question words such as when, where, how etc are used in a question rather than a positive statement we have to put an accent one of the vowels, so if you are asking where? we say ¿dónde? To say you are/are you it´s the same in Spanish and is estás, so to ask where are you? we say ¿Dónde estás? Remember the accent also on estás because of the stress of the word, if we say estas with the stress on the ´es´ we are saying these, but if we say estás we are saying you are/are you.

Little by little we can make sentences and grow our vocabulary at the same time.

Next week I will be moving onto more complicated sentences, so make sure you are ready to move on and if not take your time and work from my previous lessons which can be found online at www.thecourier.es or you can e-mail me via The Courier should you have any doubts, questions or suggestions.

Take care and have a great week, as those summer temperatures have arrived early!

Friday 8th May 2015

17

Friday 8th May 2015

18

David Beckham strips off with James Corden

David Beckham and his close pal James Corden have teamed up to create a new range of men’s underwear in a hilarious sketch for The Late Late Show with James Corden.

The retired footballer and underwear model showed his support for the new host of the late night US chat show by stripping down to a pair of tiny white boxers in a fake commercial for their new underwear range named D&J. In a clear parody of some of David’s past adverts, the pair model the pants

while being filmed in black and white with a somewhat serious backing track playing while they read meaningless quotes about needing to feel ‘supported’ and ‘alive’.

In a joke directed at David, who has his own line of underwear at H&M and has previously modelled for Emporio Armani, Corden leaps across the screen before poking fun at his pal’s impressive physique.

He adds: ‘D&J briefs, underwear for a man with a great body… and David Beckham.’

Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May 2015

20

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

FRIDAY

8th MAY

01:15 Sex and the Church 02:15 Inside Harley Street 14:00 BBC News; Weather 03:15 Channel Patrol 04:00 This Is BBC Two 14:45 Election 2015 05:00 Howard Goodall's Story of Music 15:30 VE Day 70: The 06:00 Royal Institute Christmas Lectures Cenotaph 06:30 Schools: Compose Yourself 16:30 Election 2015 07:20 The First of the Few 19:00 BBC News 09:15 Britain's Favourite Foods - Are They Good for 19:30 Weather You? 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 19:30 BBC London News 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 20:00 The One Show 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 20:30 BBC News; Regional 12:45 Oxford Street Revealed News 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Land Girls 20:30 A Question of Sport 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Hairy Bikers Short 21:00 EastEnders 15:30 Election 2015 16:30 Decimate 21:30 Question Time 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 22:30 Have I Got News for 19:00 Eggheads You 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:00 Iolo's Great Welsh 23:00 BBC News Parks 20:30 VE Day 70: The 23:30 National Lottery Update Cenotaph - Highlights 21:00 An Island Parish: 23:30 BBC London News; Falklands 21:30 Gardeners' World Weather 22:00 Britain's Greatest 23:40 The Graham Norton Generation 23:00 The Clare Balding Show Show 23:30 Newsnight 07:00 Election 2015

07:00 Good Morning Britain

23:50 Dante's Peak

23:00 Law & Order: UK

02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Secrets of Great British Castles 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs 13:40 5 News Lunchtime 13:45 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Shadow on the Mesa 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Car Crash TV 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Secrets of Great British Castles 22:00 NCIS: New Orleans 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

00:15 American Dad! 00:40 Family Guy 01:00 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 01:30 Murder in Successville 02:00 Russell Howard's Good News 02:30 Russell Howard's Good News 03:00 Tatau 03:45 Comedy Feeds 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 20:15 Atlantis 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Live at the Apollo 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Family Guy 23:55 Family Guy

01:40 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Royal Pains 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 09:00 Dinner Date 10:00 The Jeremy Kyle Sho 12:10 Judge Rinder 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 New You've Been Framed!

14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You've Been Framed!

20:30 New You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Matrix

00:00 Trial & Retribution 01:00 Northern Lights 02:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 02:45 Judge Judy 03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Never the Twain 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart Is 09:25 Wild at Heart 10:30 Judge Judy 11:50 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Where the Heart Is 16:10 Wild at Heart 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Agatha Christie's Marple 23:00 Law & Order: UK

10:25 ITV News Election

00:00 Trial & Retribution 01:00 Northern Lights 02:00 Cornwall with Caroline

Special

Quentin

15:30 ITV News - VE Day 70

02:25 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin

16:30 ITV News 17:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather

02:45 Judge Judy 03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Never the Twain 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 Where the Heart Is 09:25 Wild at Heart

20:00 Emmerdale

10:30 Judge Judy

20:30 Coronation Street

10:55 Judge Judy 11:25 Judge Judy

21:00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis 21:30 Coronation Street

11:50 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 Where the Heart Is 16:10 Wild at Heart

22:00 Slow Train Through Africa with Griff Rhys Jones

17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 On the Buses

23:00 ITV News and Weather

18:55 Heartbeat

23:30 ITV Meridian Weather

19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Agatha Christie's

23:30 ITV News Meridian

Marple

TV Choice

Eastenders - Dot Listens as Stacy gives evidence The drama continues in Emmerdale tonight, as Doug's shocked to discover Marlon has no idea where Laurel is. Laurel’s at the vets and furious they are banning her from seeing the kids. Later they are all horrified to hear she’s taken the kids out of school and locked them in her house.

In Coronation Street, as Gail lays into Sarah, blaming her for David’s disappearance, she agrees to speak to Callum and try and buy David some time. In desperation, Sarah lies to Callum, telling him David has simply gone to visit his Dad in Liverpool and giving him a false address.

David calls Gail from the centre of Liverpool, assuring her they’re fine but he can’t return home and risk losing Max. As David kills the call, he’s horrified to realise Max has disappeared. David searches the streets in vain for Max, as alone in the city, Max pulls out his mobile and makes a call.

Then, as we return to the cobbles, a distraught David frantically searches the city centre for Max. Will he find him and make his getaway before a raging Callum, now threatening to fight for full custody of Max, arrives on the scene?

Finally, in Eastenders, it's the first day of Dot's trial and the Brannings are at the court to support her. The proceedings start off badly for Dot as Keeble and a reluctant Stacey give evidence.

21

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

SATURDAY

9th MAY

00:25 Peter Kay's Car Share 01:00 Swingers

00:30 Weather 00:35 Later - with Jools

02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead

Holland

02:35 BBC News

01:35 Secret Britain

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Paul Hollywood's Bread 13:00 BBC News; Weather

02:35 Channel Patrol 03:20 This Is BBC Two 09:00 How We Won the War

13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Live Athletics

09:30 How We Won the War 10:00 Britain's Flying Past

17:00 Final Score 11:00 Wellington Bomber

18:10 Formula 1

12:00 Churchill: The Nation's

19:25 BBC News 19:35 BBC London News;

Farewell

Weather 19:45 Pointless Celebrities 20:35 Atlantis

13:00 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial

21:20 The National Lottery

14:00 Talking Pictures

Saturday Night Draws 21:30 VE Day 70: A Party to

14:35 Vertigo

Remember

19:00 Gardeners' World

23:25 BBC News; Weather 23:45 National Lottery Update 23:45 Match of the Day

19:25 Dad's Army 22:00 QI XL

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:00 Canimals 08:15 Sooty 08:30 Super 4 08:45 Nerds & Monsters 09:00 Thunderbirds Are Go 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:34 ITV Meridian Weather 13:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 14:35 Doc Martin 15:30 Who's Doing the Dishes?

16:30 Cats & Dogs 18:30 ITV Meridian Weather 18:30 ITV News Meridian 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 New You've Been Framed!

20:00 Ninja Warrior UK 21:00 Britain's Got Talent 22:00 Play to the Whistle 22:45 ITV News and Weather 22:59 ITV Meridian Weather 23:00 Raw Deal

00:05 Virtually Famous

Extreme

00:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Gotham 05:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:20 Angelina Ballerina 07:35 Pip Ahoy!

07:45 The Mr Men Show 08:00 Chloe's Closet 08:15 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 Wanda and the Alien 09:20 Zack and Quack 09:35 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:50 Jelly Jamm 10:05 LazyTown 10:35 Dora and Friends 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs 18:10 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 19:05 Britain's Horror Homes 20:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 NCIS 22:00 NCIS 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

00:15 American Dad! 00:35 Family Guy 01:00 Murder in Successville 01:30 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 02:00 Killer Magic 02:30 Killer Magic 03:00 Killer Magic 03:30 Killer Magic 04:00 Killer Magic 04:30 Killer Magic 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Live at the Apollo 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 Happy Valley

00:45 Take Me Out 01:55 Two and a Half Men 02:20 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 02:40 Royal Pains 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Emmerdale 09:35 Coronation Street 12:00 Britain's Got Talent 13:15 Britain's Got More Talent 14:20 Catchphrase 15:05 Mr Bean's Holiday 18:00 The Smurfs 20:15 Evan Almighty 22:15 Britain's Got More Talent 23:15 Celebrity Juice

00:00 01:10 03:45 04:40 07:00 07:55 08:45 09:50 10:55 May 11:55 14:00 16:20 17:15 18:55 21:00 22:00

00:55 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 01:25 MacGruber 02:55 Shameless USA 03:45 Double Your House for Half the Money 04:40 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:50 How I Met Your Mother 07:15 How I Met Your Mother 08:05 Challenge Wanaka 08:30 The Grid 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:30 Frasier 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 18:10 The Simpsons 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:00 For the Love of Cars 21:00 The World's Most

TV Choice

Robin Hood Our pick of the day on Saturday is Ridley Scott´s 2010 version of Robin Hood on Channel 4. Caught up in the Third Crusade, bowman Robin Longstride, played by Russell Crowe, and his comrades are imprisoned in France after questioning Richard the Lionheart's bloody campaign.

When the monarch is killed and his forces routed, Robin, Will Scarlet, Little John and Allan A'Dale all head for England.

Repelling an ambush meant for the deceased King, Robin promises dying Knight Robert Loxley that he will return his sword to his father in Nottinghamshire. As Robin fulfils his promise and travels to Nottingham, he meets Loxley's blind father, Sir Walter who implores him to continue his deception in order to prevent King John seizing his son's lands.

Loxley's widow, Lady Marion is less enamoured with the stranger, however, until he and his men begin to fight back against Godfrey's men, bringing hope to the impoverished people of Nottingham.

As Godfrey's meddling leaves England divided, Robin and his men must defend the country from a French invasion, the lowly bowman's heroic actions forming the basis of a legend that will endure for centuries.

However, there´s always Britain´s Got Talent if you want a change from drama, or, alternatively, Atlantis on BBC One. Tonight, when Jason's friends discover that he has been caught by Pasiphae's troops, they know they must do all they can to rescue him before he is lost forever.

Meanwhile, Aeson embarks on a brave and dangerous mission into Atlantis to save his son, but he is one man - and with traitors at every turn, can he really succeed?

Wycliffe The Color Purple Secrets from the Clink Emmerdale Wycliffe Murder, She Wrote Where the Heart Is Where the Heart Is The Darling Buds of Carry On Screaming The Mirror Crack'd Wycliffe Columbo Lewis Doc Martin Foyle's War

22

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

SUNDAY

10th MAY

00:40 The Way

01:10 DOA 02:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 VE Day 70: The Nation Remembers 14:30 Sunday Politics 15:45 Bargain Hunt 16:15 Shark 17:15 Points of View 17:30 Songs of Praise 18:05 Formula 1 19:30 BBC News 19:50 BBC London News; Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 The British Academy Television Awards 23:00 BBC News 23:20 BBC London News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day 2

02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 02:45 This Is BBC Two USA 07:05 Homes Under the 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Hammer Challenge 08:00 Countryfile 07:25 Pat & Stan 09:00 Gardeners' World 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek's 09:30 The Beechgrove Garden Adventures 08:00 Canimals 10:00 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on 08:15 Sooty Trial 08:30 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 11:00 The Big Questions 09:25 ITV News 12:00 Athletics 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Judge Rinder 14:05 MOTD2 Extra 13:25 ITV News and Weather 15:00 Equestrian 13:34 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Inspire: The Olympic 13:35 The Unforgettable 14:05 All Star Family Journey Fortunes 17:30 Athletics 14:50 Britain's Got Talent 18:30 Flog It! 16:05 Mannequin 19:00 VE Day 70: The Nation 17:50 The Chase 18:50 Ninja Warrior UK Remembers - Highlights 19:50 ITV Meridian Weather 20:00 Britain's Greatest 19:50 ITV News Meridian 20:00 ITV News and Weather Generation 20:15 Celebrity Squares 21:00 Hunters of the South 21:00 Sunday Night at the Palladium Seas 22:00 Home Fires 22:00 Wellington: The Iron 23:00 ITV News and Weather Duke Unmasked 23:34 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Perspectives 23:00 Modern Times

00:45 Lee Mack Live 01:50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 02:45 Hollyoaks 04:50 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:45 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 How I Met Your Mother 07:20 How I Met Your Mother 07:40 How I Met Your Mother 08:05 British GT Championship 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:35 The Big Bang Theory 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 15:25 The Simpsons 15:55 The Simpsons 16:30 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules 18:30 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Three in a Bed 21:00 For the Love of Cars 22:00 Prometheus

00:05 NCIS 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of River Phoenix 05:00 World's Busiest 05:50 Make It Big 06:45 Angels of Jarm 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:20 Angelina Ballerina 07:35 Pip Ahoy!

07:45 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Mio Mao 08:00 Chloe's Closet 08:15 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 Wanda and the Alien 09:10 Zack and Quack 09:25 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:35 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:45 Jelly Jamm 10:00 LazyTown 10:25 Olly the Little White Van 10:30 Dora and Friends 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:50 Police Interceptors 14:45 National Security 16:25 Big Momma's House 18:15 5 News Weekend 18:20 Spider-Man 3 21:00 Grown Ups 23:00 Safe

00:05 Britain's Got Talent 01:20 Britain's Got More Talent 02:20 Hell's Kitchen USA 03:05 Crazy Beaches 03:30 Life's Funniest Moments 03:50 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:10 Mr Bean 08:05 Emmerdale 10:55 Coronation Street 13:15 Take Me Out 14:45 The Hot Desk 15:00 Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco 16:45 Richie Rich 18:40 Britain's Got Talent 21:00 You've Been Framed!

22:00 The Dark Knight

00:05 Inspector Morse 02:20 Wire in the Blood 03:15 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Judge Judy 07:20 Judge Judy 07:40 The Mirror Crack'd 09:50 Heartbeat 10:50 Heartbeat 11:55 Wycliffe 13:00 Columbo: a Stitch in Crime 14:30 Lewis 16:35 Wycliffe 17:45 Agatha Christie's Marple 19:45 Inspector Morse 22:00 The Best of the Royal Variety 23:00 Wycliffe

TV Choice

The Nation Remembers There is no doubt that the Nation Remembers VE Day 70, especially as the title suggests, thanks to the full, uninterrupted live coverage of the final day of the 70th anniversary commemorations to mark VE Day from the glorious surroundings of St James's Park in London, presented by Kirsty Young on BBC One. Her Majesty The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, together with other members of the Royal Family, attend a service of thanksgiving at Westminster Abbey to commemorate the historic occasion. Following the service, all eyes are turned to Parliament Square and Whitehall for a parade of veterans and all those involved in the war effort both at home and abroad. Proceedings conclude with a fly-past featuring the magnificent Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and Red Arrows.

Commentary is provided by Sian Williams in Westminster Abbey and Eddie Butler for the Parade. Anita Rani and Dan Snow capture all the stories and reactions on this day of national celebration.

Recognition of a different type is presented by Graham Norton later tonight, as he hosts the House of Fraser British Academy Television Awards from the Theatre Royal Drury Lane in London.

The show starts with all the glamour from the red carpet as the stars arrive. Nominees include Graham Norton himself, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sheridan Smith, Hugh Bonneville, Olivia Colman, Tom Hollander, Catherine Tate, and Ant and Dec, along with programmes including House of Cards, Marvellous, The Missing, Happy Valley, The Voice, The Great British Bake Off and Strictly Come Dancing.

00:00 Family Guy 00:20 Family Guy 00:40 Family Guy 01:05 Family Guy 01:25 Family Guy 01:45 Murder in Successville 02:15 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 02:45 Live at the Apollo 03:15 Don't Tell the Bride 04:15 Tatau 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 20:10 Top Gear 20:55 Pirates of the Caribbean: on Stranger Tides 23:00 Tatau 23:40 Tatau

23

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

MONDAY

11th MAY

00:30 The Mothman Prophecies

00:00 W1A

02:20 Weather for the Week

00:30 Smart People

Ahead

02:00 Countryfile

02:25 BBC News

02:55 Holby City

07:00 Breakfast

03:55 This Is BBC Two

10:15 The Housing Enforcers

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

08:45 Oxford Street Revealed

12:45 Oxford Street Revealed

09:15 Wanted in Paradise

13:15 Bargain Hunt

10:15 Victoria Derbyshire

14:00 BBC News; Weather

12:00 BBC News

14:45 Doctors

12:30 BBC World News

15:15 Land Girls

13:00 Daily Politics

16:00 Escape to the Country

14:00 Coast

16:45 Decimate

14:10 Cagney & Lacey

17:30 Flog It!

14:55 Glorious Gardens from

18:15 Pointless

Above

19:00 BBC News

15:40 Great British Garden

19:30 Weather

Revival

19:30 BBC London News

16:40 Are You Being Served?

20:00 The One Show

17:10 'Allo 'Allo!

20:30 BBC News; Regional News

17:45 Just Good Friends

20:30 VE Day: First Days of

18:15 Antiques Roadshow

Peace

19:00 Eggheads

21:00 EastEnders

19:30 Beat the Brain

21:30 Panorama

20:00 Antiques Road Trip

22:00 New Tricks

21:00 The Great Chelsea Garden

23:00 BBC News

Challenge

23:30 Regional News & Weather

22:00 Horizon

23:45 Have I Got a Bit More News 23:00 Episodes for You

23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Premiership Rugby Union 01:30 The Store 03:30 Motorsport UK 04:20 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Meridian Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Ireland 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Safe House 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Agenda

00:25 Piranha DD 02:00 24 Hours in A&E 02:55 Naalu Pennungal 04:40 Come Dine with Me 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:25 Undercover Boss 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Damned Designs: Don't Demolish My Home 22:00 Benefits Street 23:00 The Night Bus

00:45 Soldiers of Fortune 02:35 SuperCasino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:40 Angels of Jarm 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs 13:40 5 News Lunchtime 13:45 Secrets of Great British Castles 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Devil's Teardrop 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Car Crash TV 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 World's Angriest: Caught on Camera 22:00 Gotham 23:00 Person of Interest 23:55 Death Sentence

01:05 American Pie Band Camp 02:55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:15 Teleshopping 06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 You've Been Framed!

08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Scorpion 11:25 Psych 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Mom 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Scary Movie 4

00:10 02:50 04:05 04:25 04:40 07:00 07:25 08:30 09:30 10:35 11:50 14:05 15:05 16:10 17:15 17:50 18:50 19:55 20:55 22:00 23:00

TV Choice

Coronation Street - Tony reveals his dastardly plot In Monday´s Emmerdale, Aaron’s sceptical about Chas’ holiday with James while she’s more worried about leaving Aaron with Robert.

Chas struggles to find her passport and texts James to warn him.

Meanwhile, Cain warns James not to mess his sister about. Finn’s suspicious about his mother after finding a photo but will he work out she is also behind the missing passport? Meanwhile, it’s all too much for Chas who leaves James disappointed.

In Coronation Street, when a solicitor for Travis Ltd arrives, making out his client would simply take his share of the profit and leave everything else to them, Steve agrees to sell his share of the pub. Having overhead this Todd informs Tracy that Steve has sold his share of the Rovers to a company called Travis. Tracy’s furious and storms into the pub to confront Tony.

In part 2, fobbing Liz off with a story about how he borrowed some money from the Barlow’s Buys safe, Tony drags Tracy out to the back yard, explaining that he is Travis Limited and she nearly blew their plans sky high.

Finally, in Eastenders, Mick gives Shirley one final chance to do the right thing by kicking Dean out, but she once again refuses to choose between her sons.

Back at the Queen Vic, Linda urges Mick to move on from the past.

She admits that he is dragging her down and needs to move on from what happened for everyone's sake. An upset Mick responds by storming out, but when Linda tries to follow him, she takes a tumble down the stairs...

00:25 00:50 01:10 01:40 02:00 02:25 News 02:50 03:20 03:40 04:15 05:00 20:00 20:30 21:30 23:00 23:30

Family Guy Family Guy Murder in Successville American Dad! Family Guy Russell Howard's Good Murder in Successville Comedy Feeds Tatau Tatau Close Great Movie Mistakes Top Gear Sherlock EastEnders Family Guy

Hamlet Secret Smile Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Emmerdale Never the Twain Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Judge Judy Inspector Morse Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Never the Twain On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Wycliffe Long Lost Family Law & Order: UK

24

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

TUESDAY

12th MAY

00:30 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Oxford Street Revealed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Land Girls 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Decimate 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 24 Hours in the Past 23:00 BBC News 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 BBC London News; Weather 23:45 Del Boys & Dealers

00:15 Weather 00:20 The Women's Football Show 00:50 Inside the Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made 01:50 Question Time 02:50 Back in Time for Dinner 03:50 Channel Patrol 04:35 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Black Roses: The Killing of Sophie Lancaster 05:45 Sleeping Lions 06:00 Ultimate Brain: Mad Lab Mission Materials 06:30 Ultimate Brain: Mad Lab It's Alive 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Oxford Street Revealed 09:15 Collectaholics 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:10 The Super League Show 14:55 Glorious Gardens from Above 15:40 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 16:40 Are You Being Served?

17:10 'Allo 'Allo!

17:45 Just Good Friends 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Beat the Brain 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 22:00 Wastemen 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:20 Newzoids 00:50 Slow Train Through Africa with Griff Rhys Jones 01:45 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Meridian Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:45 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

00:00 The Island with Bear Grylls 01:00 The Shooting Gallery 01:35 The Secret Millionaire 02:55 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 03:50 Supersize vs Superskinny 04:45 You Can't Get the Staff 05:40 Double Your House for Half the Money 06:35 The Common Denominator 07:00 Countdown 07:40 Will & Grace 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:25 Undercover Boss 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Kirstie and Phil's Love It or List It 22:00 No Offence 23:00 Benefits Street

02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Last Days of 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs 13:40 5 News Lunchtime 13:45 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher's Shades of Love 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Car Crash TV 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Britain's Horror Homes 22:00 Big Brother

00:15 American Dad! 00:35 Family Guy 01:00 Russell Howard's Good News 01:30 Russell Howard's Good News 02:00 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 02:30 Great Movie Mistakes 03:00 Tatau 03:35 Tatau 04:20 Tatau 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Stacey Dooley Investigates 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment

01:30 Two and a Half Men 02:20 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 02:45 The Vampire Diaries 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Scorpion 11:25 Psych 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Educating Joey Essex: Winter Essex-Pedition 22:00 Hell's Kitchen USA

00:00 01:05 03:05 03:25 03:30 07:00 07:25 08:30 09:30 10:35 11:50 14:05 15:10 16:10 17:15 17:50 18:20 18:55 20:00 21:00 23:00

TV Choice

Eastenders - Waiting for baby In Tonight´s Emmerdale, Alicia’s actions are taking their toll on Lachlan when he is set upon by a couple of lads. Lachlan takes refuge with Belle who shows him what Alicia has done but is shocked by his attitude to it all. Alicia confesses what she has done to a shocked David. Later, Alicia pulls up in her car as Lachlan is being surrounded threateningly by a group of lads. Realising this is of her doing will Alicia help him?

In Eastenders, Linda regains consciousness after her fall and is distraught when she can't find Mick. Kat spots that Linda is injured and rushes to help, but she becomes further alarmed when Linda reveals that she can't feel the baby move. The worrying situation escalates as Linda's waters break, but Sonia rushes over after noticing the commotion. Sonia immediately springs into action, driving Linda to the hospital and encouraging Carol to find Mick.

When Mick finally makes it to the hospital, it's just as the doctors have finally found the baby's heartbeat. As Linda enters the final stages of labour, she is united with Mick once again and they both apologise over their recent argument. Not long afterwards, Linda gives birth to a healthy baby.

Later, Dean attempts to join the family at the hospital but is stopped by Shirley. Dean is reluctant to back down, as he is convinced that the baby is his and is worried about the child's premature arrival. He ends up defying Shirley's wishes by sneaking off to the baby care unit, where he sees Linda's child.

Wire in the Blood Inspector Morse Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Teleshopping Never the Twain Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Judge Judy Inspector Morse Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Never the Twain On the Buses On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Midsomer Murders Law & Order: UK

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

WEDNESDAY

25

13th MAY

00:45 Live at the Apollo 01:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Oxford Street Revealed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Land Girls 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Decimate 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Inspector George Gently 22:30 Peter Kay's Car Share 23:00 BBC News 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 BBC London News; Weather 23:45 A Question of Sport

00:15 Weather 00:20 Ashya: The Untold Story 00:50 Inside the Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made 01:50 Antiques Roadshow 02:50 Rip Off Britain: Food 03:35 Channel Patrol 04:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England 06:00 Schools - Bringing Books to Life 2 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Oxford Street Revealed 09:15 An Island Parish: Falklands 09:45 Cowboys and Angels 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:10 Cagney & Lacey 14:55 Glorious Gardens from Above 15:40 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 16:40 Are You Being Served?

17:10 'Allo 'Allo!

17:45 Just Good Friends 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Beat the Brain 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 22:00 Modern Times 23:00 Rory Bremner's Election Report 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Benidorm 01:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Meridian Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Give a Pet a Home 22:00 Newzoids 22:30 The Delivery Man 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Come On Down! The Game Show Story

00:00 CCTV: Caught on Camera 01:00 Poker 01:55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:25 Challenge Wanaka 02:50 The Grid 03:20 British GT Championship 03:45 Shameless USA 04:40 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:35 Double Your House for Half the Money 06:35 The Common Denominator 07:00 Countdown 07:40 Will & Grace 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:25 Undercover Boss 11:25 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:00 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The World's Most Expensive Food 22:00 The Island with Bear Grylls 23:00 Gogglebox

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Big Brother 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Hotel Inspector 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Big Brother 14:40 5 News Lunchtime 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: New Orleans 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher's Shades of Love 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Car Crash TV 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 21:00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 2 22:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Marilyn Monroe 23:00 Big Brother

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:05 Family Guy 01:30 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 02:00 Murder in Successville 02:30 Stacey Dooley Investigates 03:30 Don't Tell the Bride 04:30 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Russell Howard's Good News 22:30 Russell Howard's Good News 23:00 Murder in Successville 23:30 Family Guy 23:55 Family Guy

00:00 02:40 03:25 06:55 07:00 07:20 08:05 08:35 09:35 10:35 11:25 12:20 13:10 13:40 14:45 15:40 19:00 20:00 21:00 22:00

00:00 01:05 03:05 03:25 03:30 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:35 09:40 10:40 11:55 14:10 15:10 16:15 17:20 17:55 18:55 20:00 21:00 23:00

TV Choice

Coronation Street - Liz is attacked in the Rovers In Tonight´s Emmerdale, Alicia calls the police as the lads throw stones at the car with her and Lachlan trapped inside. In the car they at last talk.

Later, as Alicia and Lachlan return to the village, Alicia makes a life changing decision, one that could affect the life of her family forever. She wants the family to sell up and move away. In the vehicle, Alicia's shocked when Lachlan apologises, finally admitting what he did to her.

She confesses she posted the online comment and he admits that he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Debbie tells Emma it would be best if she didn’t attend the engagement party but Emma warns her what she overheard and tells her she looks forward to seeing her there. Emma’s relieved when Finn keeps quiet to James but it’s clear she’s still got unfinished business regarding James.

In Coronation Street, Steve’s signed the paperwork and sold his share of the pub to Travis Limited. Tony tentatively suggests to Liz she should sell her share of the pub too then they could start afresh somewhere else but Liz won’t hear of it. Left alone again to run the bar, Tony’s had enough and arranges for a couple of mates to put the frighteners on Liz. When the two thugs come into the Rovers and threaten Liz, will it have the desired effect? Can Tony convince Liz it’s time to sell the Rovers?

The Matrix Royal Pains Teleshopping ITV2 Nightscreen Life's Funniest Moments Psych Emmerdale The Cube Dinner Date Scorpion Psych Royal Pains Emmerdale Britain's Got More Talent Dinner Date The Jeremy Kyle Show Judge Rinder You've Been Framed!

Two and a Half Men 21 Jump Street

Wire in the Blood Inspector Morse Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Teleshopping Movies Now Never the Twain Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy Inspector Morse Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Never the Twain On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Lewis Law & Order: UK

26

COURIER TV GUIDE - Friday 8th May to Thursday 14th May

THURSDAY

14th MAY

00:15 Margin Call 01:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Oxford Street Revealed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Land Girls 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Decimate 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Shark 23:00 BBC News 23:30 BBC London News; Weather 23:45 Question Time

00:15 Weather 00:20 Missed Warnings: The Bradford City Fire 00:50 Inside the Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made 01:50 Portillo's State Secrets 02:20 Sex and the Church 03:20 Channel Patrol 04:05 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools - Play by Play 05:30 Schools - Titch and Ted Do Maths: Measurements 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Oxford Street Revealed 09:15 Great British Garden Revival 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:10 Cagney & Lacey 15:00 Glorious Gardens from Above 15:45 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 16:45 Are You Being Served?

17:15 'Allo 'Allo!

17:45 Just Good Friends 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Beat the Brain 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 22:00 The Game 23:00 W1A 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Meridian Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 You've Been Framed!

22:00 Fraud Squad 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Newzoids

00:00 Bodyshockers 01:00 Street Sound and Style 01:35 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 02:30 Amelia 04:20 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:15 Double Your House for Half the Money 06:15 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:25 The Common Denominator 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:40 Will & Grace 08:05 Will & Grace 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:25 Undercover Boss 11:25 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:00 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Posh Pawnbrokers 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Born Naughty?

22:00 The Island with Bear Grylls 23:00 The Secret World of Tinder

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 The Hotel Inspector 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Person of Interest 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:45 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs 13:40 5 News Lunchtime 13:45 Big Brother 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher's Shades of Love 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Car Crash TV 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 World War II in Colour 21:00 The Last Days of Guy Fawkes 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 Big Brother

00:15 American Dad! 00:35 Family Guy 01:00 Murder in Successville 01:30 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 02:00 Russell Howard's Good News 02:30 Russell Howard's Good News 03:00 Don't Tell the Bride 04:00 Nick Helm's Heavy Entertainment 04:30 Murder in Successville 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Live at the Apollo 22:30 Live at the Apollo 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Family Guy

00:15 The Vampire Diaries 01:10 Two and a Half Men 02:05 Guinness World Records 02:35 The Vampire Diaries 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:10 You've Been Framed!

09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Scorpion 11:25 Psych 12:20 Royal Pains 13:10 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 American Pie - Naked Mile

00:00 01:00 03:00 03:20 03:30 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:35 09:40 10:40 11:55 14:10 15:10 16:15 17:15 17:50 18:55 20:00 21:00 23:00

TV Choice

Eastenders - Everyone sits in on the hearing In our bumper Emmerdale night, Chrissie suddenly turns on Robert, locking him in an out-building, seemingly determined to make him pay for what he did. Robert realises Chrissie overheard his conversation with Aaron and is shocked when she picks up a petrol can and opens it.

Angry Chrissie pours what looks like petrol all around a terrified Robert as Lachlan watches what is happening, unseen. Filled with fury she takes out the box of matches but will Chrissie really go through with it?

As the tension continues, matters are made worse by the fact Charlie has brought two heavies with him and demands his money back from Debbie and Ross. Wanting to protect Debbie, Ross gets in the car with him, alone.

Robert’s plans to leave with Aaron have not worked, with Aaron refusing to leave with him. What will he do next?

In Eastenders, Dot's trial continues and Ronnie decides to attend court in support of Charlie, who is giving evidence today. Everyone is relieved to hear that the missing witness still hasn't been found, but it's not long before the trial takes another unexpected turn.

Later, when Charlie gives his evidence, a distraught Dot can't help interrupting. Dot reminds the judge that she is the one on trial rather than Nick. Deciding to give her side of the story after all, Dot bravely enters the witness box - but it soon becomes clear that she may have made a mistake when the prosecution turns her own evidence against her...

Trial & Retribution Inspector Morse Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Teleshopping Movies Now Never the Twain Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy Inspector Morse Heartbeat Where the Heart Is Wild at Heart Never the Twain On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Foyle's War Law & Order: UK

Friday 8th May 2015

27

28

Friday 8th May 2015

CODE CRACKER

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 3 represents J and 12 represents M, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Feathered creature (4) 4 Dismiss (4) 9 Frequently (5) 10 Everyday (7) 11 Sprint (3) 12 Extremely good (9) 13 Oily (6) 14 Pester (6) 18 Moving staircase (9) 21 Rodent (3) 23 Provide (7) 24 Courageous (5) 25 Friendly nation (4) 26 Neckwear (4)

2 Extreme (7) 3 Perils (7) 4 Stern (6) 5 Severe (5) 6 Impoverished (4) 7 Contribute (4) 8 Superior (6) 13 Avaricious (6) 15 Circus performer (7) 16 Refuse (7) 17 Robust (6) 19 Composed (4) 20 Flat (5) 22 Digits of the foot (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Seaman, 4 Daring, 9 Elevate, 10 Tribe, 11 Titan, 12 Surpass, 13 Ski, 14 Robot, 16 Opera, 18 Tub, 19 Foresee, 21 Sells, 23 Align, 24 Cleanse, 25 Harmed, 26 Decree.

Down: 1 Shelter, 2 Adept, 3 Against, 5 After, 6 Imitate, 7 Guess, 8 Persistence, 15 Barrier, 16 Obscene, 17 Austere, 19 Flash, 20 Since, 22 Lunar.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Chinese capital lies in total waste (4) 4 Heads turn in the underworld (5) 9 Gold tooth, perhaps, in satellite? (7) 10 Presented 50 with a mallet (5) 11 Friend taking mother to a resort in Mallorca (5) 12 Sailor's requirements are ageless, strangely (3,4) 13 Nasty disease ravaged Serbia (6) 15 Senior journalists in little apartment (6) 19 Losing one's grip? I'd sling it out! (7) 21 He has 59 Romans doing The Twist (5) 23 A greeting from Shakespeare's Othello (5) 24 Touching diplomacy by the Italian Embassy's head (7) 25 Treats dossiers, no sir (5) 26 She introduces boy to youth leader (4)

Down 2 Secret group born in two states (5) 3 Men hate ordering fuel (7) 4 His Excellency's religious education ends Embassy dissent (6) 5 The belief is that I am God returning (5) 6 So six aliens are elected by the Russians? (7) 7 A policeman with little money (6) 8 The Spanish manuscript describes trees (4) 14 Got angry when a brother didn't work (7) 16 I cheat learner badly, but it is perfectly right and proper (7) 17 Chopper, inbound, moved along the ground before taking off (6) 18 Stones, a stage of development (6) 19 Part of London starts some official hotel offers (4) 20 I sold out to those false gods (5) 22 Learner taking the Great North Road? He's landed up in Scotland (5)

Down STANDARD CLUES 2 Conspiratorial group (5) Across 1 Dirty film (4) 3 Colourless, odourless gas (7) 4 Mythical underworld (5) 4 Belief opposed to the 9 Satellite (7) norm (6) 10 Auctioneer's mallet (5) 5 Church tenets (5) 11 Capital of Mallorca (5) 6 Former citizens of USSR 12 Ability to walk on deck (7) (3,4) 7 Red-brown metal (6) 13 Hydrophobia (6) 8 Hardwood trees (4) 15 Small flat (6) 14 Restrained (7) 16 Honourable (7) 19 Moving smoothly (7) 17 Prepared to take off (6) 21 Spiral shape (5) 18 Ornamental stones (6) 23 Greeting (5) 19 District of central 24 Pertaining to touch (7) London (4) 25 Medical measures (5) 20 Effigies (5) 26 Titled woman (4) 22 Scottish landowner (5) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Forum, 4 Chef, 8 Arrival, 9 Doric, 10 Latin, 11 Sneered, 12 Turner, 14 Scamps, 18 Refugee, 20 Befog, 22 Bribe, 23 Lineage, 24 Anon, 25 Motet.

Down: 1 First, 2 Revenue, 3 Molest, 4 Cadre, 5 Eardrum, 6 Hamlet, 7 Acid, 13 Ruffian, 15 Cabinet, 16 Sighed, 17 Bedlam, 18 Robe, 19 Green, 21 Feast.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Air Ale Bio Cat Fez Gnu Lap Loo Net New Pod Tun 4 letter words Amid Arch Dale

Data Debt Elan Ewer Faro Glue Halo Haws Hiss Iron Leap Lira Load Mite Moot Ooze Open Plat Quay

Reds Save Sere Slat Slew Soar Soul Spot Tape Tole Toys Tuna What Ziti 5 letter words Alibi Anger Angst

Aztec Floss Frame Lapel Level Mamma Moral Octal Onion Opera Oriel Peons Ratio Resit Salsa Sleds Sugar Tepid Torch

6 letter words Allied Crafts Rapids Tartar Tea bag Thesis 7 letter words Caution Flotsam Measles Quarrel 8 letter words Rescuers Wheedles

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Tenedores (de mesa) (5) 4 Marionetas (7) 7 Tattoo (7) 8 Lakes (5) 10 Fregaderos (5) 11 Path (unsurfaced) (7) 12 To wash (5) 14 Fe (5) 19 File (document) (7) 21 Circus (entertainment) (5) 22 Aeroplane (5) 23 Postman (7) 24 Aduana (7) 25 Bufanda (5)

Down 2 Roundabout (7) 3 Costuras (puntadas) (5) 4 Press (newspapers) (6) 5 Lever (7) 6 Ă guila (ave) (5) 7 Prueba (4) 9 Pronto (dentro de poco) (4) 13 Breath (respiration) (7) 15 Third (f) (7) 16 Leg (of an animal) (4) 17 Voces (6) 18 Little (not much) (4) 20 Monedas (5) 21 Faces (body parts) (5)

Friday 8th May 2015 Across 7 Which 1978 film musical starred John Travolta as Danny Zuko and Olivia Newton-John as Sandy Olsson? (6) 8 Which weekly peerreviewed general medical journal, founded in 1823 by English surgeon Thomas Wakley, is named it after a surgical knife with a pointed double-edged blade? (6) 9 Love and Pride was the 1984 debut single by which new wave pop band from Coventry? (4) 10 Which Hollywood star , romantically linked with Sammy Davis, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant and Aly Khan, first came to prominence with a leading role in the 1955 film Picnic? (3,5) 11 What word can mean both ‘bundles of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel’ and ‘balls of chopped

meat and liver mixed with bread and herbs, eaten fried or baked’? (7) 13 What is the name of the motel owned by Norman (Anthony Perkins) in the 1960 suspense/horror film Psycho? (5) 15 What name is often applied to all the animal life in a particular region? (5) 17 The 1970s British television police drama that took its name from the Cockney rhyming slang for the Flying Squad, was The (What)? (7) 20 What is the name of the Scottish castle residence of the British royal family situated on the River Dee? (8) 21 What is the name of the fourth planet from the Sun? (4) 22 Amman is the capital of which Arab kingdom in south-western Asia on the

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

Red Sea? (6) 23 Which state in East Asia was formerly known as Formosa? (6)

Down 1 By what other name, meaning ‘heroic’ in Italian,

29 is Beethoven’s Symphony No 3 in E flat major (Opus 55), also known? (6) 2 What name is often given to a canine tooth of a carnivorous animal? (4) 3 What was the surname of the Irish playwright whose works include Krapp’s Last Tape and Waiting For Godot? (7) 4 What was the name of the mission in San Antonio, Texas that was the site of a siege in 1836 by Mexican forces, in which all 180 defenders were killed? (5) 5 Which verb means ‘to add explanatory notes to or supply with critical comments’? (8) 6 What was the surname of the French soldier and writer whose descriptions of sexual perversion gave rise to the term ‘sadism’? (2,4) 12 Named after a beautiful Trojan youth, which is

the largest of Jupiter’s satellites? (8) 14 The Shakespeare comedy that features the characters Viola, Duke Orsino, Olivia and Sir Toby Belch is entitled (What) Night? (7) 16 Which South American river flows over 4,150 miles (6,683 km) through Peru, Colombia and Brazil into the Atlantic Ocean? (6) 18 By what other, more common, name is the protective yellow substance also called ‘cerumen’ better known? (6) 19 What was the surname of Ulysses Simpson, the 18th president of the United States (1869-1877)?

(5) 21 What was the surname of Frank, the scriptwriting partner of Dennis Norden? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH EL UNIVERSO - THE UNIVERSE

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el agujero negro

el sol

el asteroide

la constelación

el astronauta

la estrella

el año luz

la galaxia

el cosmos

la luna

el eclipse

la nave espacial

el extraterrestre

la orbita

el ovni

los planetas

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Woman of the Year 2. Bartender 3. Fritz the cat 4. Under Capricorn 5. Hot Rod 6. Paul Newman 7.

Twelve Monkeys 8. The Great Dictator, Adenoid Hinkel 9.

Mr. Ed 10. Stay Away Joe 11. Brad Dexter 12. Rachel Rachel 13. Douglas Fairbanks

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Likely, 4 Emeritus, 10 Mont Blanc, 11 Eyrie, 12 Peat, 13 Lunar month, 15 Slobber, 16 Latvia, 19 Astral, 21 Bassoon, 23 Armageddon, 25 Jute, 27 Spoon, 28 Incessant, 29 Weeklies, 30 Naseby.

Down: 1 Lamppost, 2 Kangaroos, 3 Lobo, 5/24 Michael Moore, 6 Rheumatism, 7 Turin, 8 Seethe, 9 Jaguar, 14 Aboriginal, 17 Inoculate, 18 Ancestry, 20 Luddite, 21 Bronco, 22 Warsaw, 26 Asia.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el agujero negro,

14.la nave espacial, 15.la orbita,

2.el asteroide, 3.el astronauta,

16.los planetas.

l.the sun, m.the moon,

4.el año luz, 5.el cosmos,

a.the astronaut,

n.the asteroid, o.alien,

6.el eclipse, 7.el extraterrestre,

b.the constelation, c.the planets,

p.the eclipse.

8.el ovni, 9.el sol,

d.the space ship, e.the star,

10.la constelación, 11.la estrella,

f.the galaxy, g.the light year,

12.la galaxia, 13.la luna,

h.the orbit, i.the black hole,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

j.the cosmos, k.the UFO,

Answers: 1i, 2n, 3a, 4g, 5j, 6p, 7o, 8k, 9l, 10b, 11e, 12f, 13m, 14d, 15h, 16c.

1. Tracey and Hepburn's first film in 1942 was what?

2. Sandra Bullock, Kris Christophensen and Bruce Willis all had what job before acting?

3. What was the world's first X rated cartoon?

4. In which Hitchcock film did the heroine find a shrunken head in the bed?

5. What was Fonzie's favourite magazine?

6. Who played Billy the Kid in film 'The Left Handed Gun'?

7. In what film did Bruce Willis play a time travelling criminal?

8. In which film did Charlie Chaplain have his first speaking part in 1940?

9. Bamboo harvester was the real name of what TV character?

10. In what film did Elvis play a Red Indian?

11. What actor links Von Ryan's Express and The Magnificent Seven?

12. What was the first film Paul Newman directed?

13. Who wrote and starred in the 1922 version of Robin Hood?

Fill It In

30

Friday 8th May 2015

Box AXE FALLS ON THE COBBLES

Soap

Your Weekly round-up of the soap news

As Corrie get set for a bumper summer, there will be drams and excitement aplenty, with some popular faces treading the cobbles for the last time, but we will also see the welcome return of many of our favourites too.

We will warn you now, this article contains spoilers, so only read on if you want to know the inside secrets of who is going and who is coming back.

Firstly, we start with Carla Connor, a favourite on the street for the last nine years, it was announced that actress Alison King would take a break for “creative reasons”, probably not until 2016 though, and would probably return at some point in the future. Lucky for her as her exit forms part of an explosive storyline that will see the Victoria Court flats go up in flames.

Lloyd Mullaney will disappear from our screens in the autumn, as actor Craig Charles has decided to concentrate once more on a new series of sci-fi show Red Dwarf. Craig said, “I have had an absolutely fantastic ten years on Coronation Street and I will be very sad to leave.

Lloyd has become a huge part of my life and I have made some amazing friends with whom I will always keep in touch”.

Lloyd´s girlfriend, Andrea Beckett, played by former Emmerdale actress Hayley Tamaddon, will also be leaving

A Trip Through TV History

in September, Details of her exit are being kept secret at the moment, although we do know that it will form part of an upcoming live episode, and we also know that the door is once again left open for a return, so probably at least leaving alive. Hayley said recently, “I came into Corrie for three months and have stayed for two years!”, although commenting how they have been the “best two years of my life”.

Julie Carp is another set to leave, after actress Katy Cavanagh “decided it's time to take a break from the cobbles and pursue other projects and

opportunities”. Having been unlucky in love since joining in 2008, her relationship with Dev is set to unravel, but her departure will coincide with the return of former boyfriend and head teacher Brian Packham, although we´ll talk more about who´s returning another time.

Kal Nazir will be walking out of the gym in a “huge plot twist” that is set to cause a shockwave through his entire family and girlfriend Leanne, although once again being kept secret, Jimi Mistry did give a little hint of the drama when he said, “When I was told about this storyline I felt it

was a brilliant way to say goodbye to Kal and I am really looking forward to filming my departure scenes”.

Finally, at least for the time being, Maddie Heath will be leaving girlfriend Sophie Webster behind when she leaves the street, as actress Amy James-Kelly has decided to pursue other projects, saying, “I made the decision to leave because I'm young and adventurous and I want to gain more experience and explore and improve my craft.

Acting is my passion and I'm excited to see where it takes me”.

Remember the ITV show “Connections”? Originally presented by Sue Robbins, later Richard Madely, the aim was to make connections by clues given by the host. The show alternated with Blockbusters, but it actually first appeared on our screens this week in 1985, 30 years ago, on the 13th of May to be precise.

Meanwhile, ten years later, US/Canadian police comedy drama Due South made its British television debut on BBC1 this week, hitting our screens on the 9th May 1995.

Sadly, on the 2nd May, 83 year old actor Michael Hordern died, famed for being the voice of the narrator of Paddington Bear, as well as the voice of badger from The Wind in the Willows.

Whilst we´re talking about 1995, that was also the year that Rainbow, Bullseye, Boon and The Crystal Maze all finished.

Jumping forward another 10 years, in 2005, Family Affairs wins Best Storyline at the British Soap Awards on the 7th May for a story in

which a couple discover a family friend has been abusing their daughter. On the 13th May, it was announced that artist Rolf Harris is to create an oil portrait of Queen Elizabeth II as part of a special edition of his BBC One show Rolf on Art To celebrate her 80th birthday of in 2006.

Meanwhile, on 13th May, 1995, the cover of television mag TV Times featured The Verdict, and terror for Beth as the Brookside jury decide, in the infamous body under the patio storyline on the Liverpool based soap.

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI I love a good spy yarn, and BBC 2’s The Game set in the early seventies is a cracking tale in the vein of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. There’s seventies nostalgia smeared all over this drama and the spooks are almost like you would imagine them to be, though the amiable lead, Tom Hughes, looks too good in his posh suits! Never mind, he’s excellent in this tale of the nasty Soviets trying to launch nuclear weapons in a first strike at the UK in Operation Glass. A KGB defector sings like a bird about it, but can he be trusted? There seems to be a

GAME OF UNKNOWNS

mole at MI5 (very le Carre), and there’s also a key backstory about Hughes’s character, Joe, in a botched up job in Poland a year or so earlier. For Harry in Spooks, read Daddy played by Brian Cox in The Game, and he’s keeping his cards close to his chest, along with everybody else seemingly having a secret or two: - and these are meant to be the good guys! Spy fans will have plenty to chew over here along with those early seventies memories I enjoyed the return of the Palladium show on ITV last Sunday night. A simple format that works, and I love

the Olate Dogs which I watched winning America’s Got Talent the other year, and Madness are as good as when I first saw them live back in 1979! But why the meaningless quiz? Even

Bradley Walsh couldn’t get much entertainment value out of it.

Yo! I went down with the kids and checked out E4’s new drama, Empire, set around a hip-hop record

label, and I didn’t expect to like one of the very few new hits of the American season.

How wrong I was, as this is like the TV show Nashville, but with attitude. The plot surrounds the boss of a record company that’s been told that he has three years to live (more or less, depending on how many seasons Empire runs for), and he wants to hand over the legacy to one of his three sons. Cue a lot of bitching and the unexpected return of his ex-wife who’s spent 17 years in the slammer for drug-dealing, the profits of which were used to fund her husband’s early

career. She wants a piece of the action, and off we go.

The songs are good and so is the acting, and to think that after just five minutes, I nearly pressed the delete button!

By the way, Nashville returns next week on E4 for a third series, after the first two series being aired on More 4.

Please can we all club together and buy Graham Norton a razor so that he can shave off his beard? It just doesn’t suit the genial chat show host and has made him look 20 years older!

Friday 8th May 2015

31

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Friday 8th May 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

INFO: John had some information about software that he INFO: Sandra received a number of spam contact requests on her Skype setup. uses to sync his phone Hi Richard, I read the question from Bob re transferring photos from a Samsung phone to a computer.

I do this on a regular basis by using the FREE Kies software downloadable from an appropriate Samsung web site in conjunction with a USB cable. In addition to copying photos this software provides full backup and restore facilities for virtually everything you might store on your phone and I find it easy to use.

Nokia have the Nokia Suite available (or used to?) in a similar fashion. Hope this is useful to you. Cheers, John

Q

Good morning Richard, I hope you don't mind me asking you, but over the last week or so I have been receiving requests to be someone's contact on Skype. It happens every evening and is always a different name. So I just keep blocking them. Is this a common problem because it has never happened before?

Sincerely Sandra Hi Sandra, no problem at all for contacting me  yes it happens to us all, you should take the option to block the user and report them for abuse, that then reports them to Skype and saves other people receiving the same type of spam.

A

INFO: George had some good information to share.

Hi Richard, I enjoy reading your column in the Courier and thought that you might be interested in what I believe were scam phone calls that I received today.

Telephone numbers: 16077329064 16077350870 15857629912

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

The first number was recieved this morning at 09:10 hrs and a female speaking English with a strong Asian accent said that "Windows had contacted her to say that I had a problem with my computer. Being aware of scams going the rounds I told her that I did not have a computer and hung up, the other 2 calls were received during the day but I ignored them.

I don't know what country the calls came from (perhaps you could find out) but I thought that perhaps you could advise your readers of the telephone numbers through your column.

Keep up the good work, George Update: it looks like the numbers are US (+1), however they could easily be non-geographic (Internet) numbers and therefore could be being used from anywhere, the moral of the story is don’t believe anyone that calls you to tell you that your computer is doing strange things (even if it is!)

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday 8th May 2015

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N-332

www.fb.com/TorreviejaTrafficDepartment

www.n332.es

ARE YOU ALLOWED TO EXCEED THE SPEED LIMIT WHILE OVERTAKING? You might have heard talk about the legal possibility to brake the law by exceeding the speed limit when overtaking. It is true that there is a law which permits this, but only under very strict circumstances.

According to Article 51 of the Reglamento General de Circulación: “The maximum fixed speeds for conventional roads which do not pass through urban areas may only be exceeded by up to 20kph by saloon cars and motorcycles whilst overtaking other vehicles travelling at lesser speeds.”

This clause first came about to allow cars to pass a slower moving vehicle in the shortest time possible, allowing an increase in speed in order to execute the move quickly. The word ‘execute’ being a potential reminder though that overtaking is one of the most dangerous manoeuvres we can carry out. IN the event of a head-on collision, our speed is added to that of the oncoming vehicle, and so a crash where two vehicles are travelling at 90 kilometres per hour is the equivalent of crashing at 180 kilometres per hour, when the two speeds are combined.

But the rule does exist and does allow drivers to go over the speed limit, but only in certain circumstances. In order to simplify the explanation, let us break it down to see when this clause can actually apply.

Firstly, we can see that it can only ever apply to cars and motorcycles, so we know the sort of vehicle the allowance applies to.

Secondly, we need to look at the types of roads the clause can apply to. We can see that it is not permitted on motorways. We can also see that it does not apply on dual carriageways. So, we can exclude faster moving roads straight away. Next, we see that the clause does not apply in towns, or cities for

that matter, so we can exclude those routes too.

Now, all that we are left with is so-called conventional roads, single carriageway, with no central reservation and outside of towns. But, then we have to take away those for which a speed limit already applies, because, that speed limit overrules this clause too.

In other words, if you see a sign (which is called the R301) that limits the maximum speed of a road to 70 kilometres per hour, then the maximum is 70 kilometres per hour and this exceptional speeding clause does not apply. The same if the R-301 sign limits the speed to 50 or 40, or whatever the speed restriction, that sign overrules the clause. In other words, you are NOT permitted to exceed the speed limit for any reason, including overtaking.

You might remember if you are a UK trained driver of an idea called the “National Speed Limit”. There is a sign which is displayed on those roads where the national limit, or to put it another way, the maximum but standard limit applies.

The same exists here in Spain. On a conventional road, the maximum permitted speed on a road where no other signs indicate a restriction, and there is a hard shoulder of more than 1.5

metres, is 100 kilometres per hour. On other conventional roads, the maximum permitted speed is 90 kilometres per hour. This is what we might refer to as the “National Speed Limit” in UK terms. Incidentally, these roads do sometimes have an R-301 sign, but on these roads it is a reminder.

So, the only road where this clause can apply is a conventional road, where no overruling speed limit applies.

The conclusion is that if you think you have discovered a “get out of jail free card” with this clause, or if it is a license to speed using overtaking as an excuse, think again. The circumstances where this clause can apply really are few and far between, it is not the answer to any speeding motorist’s prayers. It is a clause that can permit the smooth flow of traffic on certain routes, but, as with any traffic laws, safety and security will always come first.

Reglamento General de Circulación (artº 51): "Las velocidades máximas fijadas para las carreteras convencionales que no discurran por suelo urbano solo podrán ser rebasadas en 20 kilómetros por hora por turismos y motocicletas cuando adelanten a otros vehículos que circulen a velocidad inferior a aquellas"

Friday 8th May 2015

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Desserts

Chocolate Brownie Ingredients 1 TBSP whole wheat flour 1 TBSP sugar 1 TBSP unsweetened cocoa a pinch of baking soda a pinch of salt 1 TBSP of low fat vanilla yogurt, add more if needed to blend the mixture Directions Mix all ingredients until combined in a mug. Pop it in the microwave for just over a minute.

Lightened-Up Apple Crisp Ingredients This healthy apple crisp recipe is sweet and simple to prepare but uses very little added sugar.

Directions Mix first four ingredients and place into 9-inch (square or round) baking dish. In small bowl, mix ingredients until crumbly. Sprinkle topping over the apples.

Bake at 325 degrees until apples are soft and topping is golden brown.

Drink beer too quickly? Opt for straight glasses, not curved If you find yourself finishing off pints long before your friends are ready for the next round, perhaps you should ask the person behind the bar for a straight glass.

Researchers from Bristol University's Tobacco and Alcohol Research Group found that the shape of a glass can affect the speed at which we drink – and that straight glasses cause people to drink more slowly than curved ones.

Lead researcher Dr Angela Attwood and PhD student David Troy asked a group of 160 people to attend two sessions at local pubs, giving some participants a lager in a curved glass and others beer in a straight-sided glass.

Those who had the straight glasses were 60 per cent slower to consume alcoholic beverages than those drinking from curved glasses.

In another experiment, one group of subjects were given beer in a curved glass which had markings on the side, showing measurements of a quarter, half and three quarters. The other participants also had curved glasses, but with no markings.

The results showed that the markings slowed the speed at which people drank.

The group with the marked glasses took an average of 10.3 minutes to finish their pints, while the non-marked glass group took 9.1 minutes.

Dr Angela Attwood said: “The speed at which beer is drunk can have a direct effect on the level of intoxication experienced. This can

also increase how much is consumed in a single drinking session. While many people drink alcohol responsibly, it is not difficult to have 'one too many' and become intoxicated.

“Our research suggests that small changes such as glass shape and volume markings can help individu-

als make more accurate judgements of the volume they are drinking and hopefully drinkers will use this information to drink at a slower pace.”

The pair presented their research today at the British Psychological Society Annual Conference in Liverpool.

Food & Drink The ready-made packed lunch upgrade

There are days when you just don’t have time to make a good lunch. So here are some ideas for upgrading a simple, ready-made lunch with items you can find in the shops or at home.

These aren’t recipe suggestions, obviously, but rather quick additions to elevate ‘good’ to ‘darn good’.

Your Mediterranean mixed salad may have one measly, insulting olive in it, but with these upgrades you might not even notice, or care.

• Soups really reap the benefits of being jazzed up. Adding a finishing topping to an already hot bowl or container, and introducing another flavour (and texture) is the way to go: try a teaspoon of pesto in a country vegetable soup; plain yoghurt and a squeeze of lemon in a lentil curry soup; lots (and we mean lots) of freshly ground black pepper and ready grated parmesan in a creamy tomato; crumbled up cheese-flavoured crackers in a minestrone; a crumbling of feta in anything bean based. If you are reheating the soup yourself you can bulk it up with extra veg, such as baby spinach or sliced cavolo nero: just add to the bowl before

microwaving.

• Ready-made sandwiches often feel like they are missing just one extra thing to lift them and add another dimension. The result of margin-making, we suppose. So size up your sarnie in both taste and filling size with a single extra ingredient: stuff fresh basil into a ham baguette; add sliced cherry tomatoes to a classic tuna sandwich for sweetness; try scattering a spoonful of capers into a mayo-heavy chicken salad; slice ripe avocado into a BLT; jarred roasted peppers in a falafel wrap; a handful of bagged watercress or again, capers, in egg mayo. Or do what you did at school (maybe) and add a few crisps ... You know it makes sense.

• Shop-bought salads generally need their ‘luxury’ bits enhanced. Add extra protein and flavour in simpler tomato and lettuce salads in the form of parma ham, prawns or anchovies (and if you’ve mastered the art of the microwaved egg, one or two of those). Finally, for the strong flavour and tang chasers among you, there is a variety of jarred pickled veg at your disposal: cabbage, beetroot, cornichons, jalapenos, etc.

Food & Drink

Friday 8th May 2015

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Could cake and chocolate lead to Alzheimer's disease?

New research suggests sugary foods such as cake and chocolate may be the cause of Alzheimer's disease.

In the Journal of Clinical Investigation, researchers from the Washington University School of Medicine wrote that high blood sugar levels could have "harm effects on brain function and exacerbate neurological conditions such as Alzheimer's disease".

The study, which used

mice, found that high levels of blood sugar increased levels of amyloid beta, which is the main ingredient of plaque found in the brains of Alzheimer patients.

High blood sugar is often found in those who ingest large quantities of sweet, sugary foods and those suffering from diabetes.

The study, which used mice, found that high levels of blood sugar increased levels of amyloid beta, which is the main ingredient

of plaque found in the brains of Alzheimer patients.

High blood sugar is often found in those who ingest large quantities of sweet, sugary foods and those suffering from diabetes.

Another recent study from the University of Missouri found that green tea could potentially have the ability to slow down Alzheimer's disease. The study, which also used mice, found progression of Alzheimer's could be decreased or halted com-

pletely with the use of a green tea extract called ECGC. In the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease the researchers wrote: "Consumption of natural products as potential remedies to prevent and treat diseases and to maintain human health is an ancient one.

"Further study of the commonly found extract could lead to advancements in the treatment and prevention of Alzheimer's disease in humans."

Green tea has also been proven to have beneficial effects when it comes to Alzheimer's

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Friday 8th May 2015

'System failure' of NHS mental health services puts pressure on A&E wards Large numbers of people with mental health issues are ending up in A&E wards because of “system failure”, according to leaked minutes of a government-attended steering group.

The meeting heard that people with mental illness are presenting themselves at emergency wards because of inadequate provision for them in the community.

The minutes from the mental health crisis care concordat steering group, attended by health minister Norman Lamb, suggest that the failure to treat mental health patients properly is contributing to pressure at A&E wards in NHS hospitals in England, which have missed the target of 95% of people to be seen within four hours for 93 weeks in a row.

They state: “The RCEM [Royal College of Emergency Medicine] raised a concern that high

numbers of people ending up in A&E indicates a sys-

leaked document minutes, Rethink Mental Illness

He added: “This has to change because it’s cost-

We also need the next government to urgently

tem failure. People return to A&E because community plans are not working for them.”

Responding to the

chief executive, Mark Winstanley, said community mental health services were “badly funded and overstretched”.

ing lives. Everyone should be able to get access to a hospital bed close to home whenever they need it, no matter where they live or what their circumstances.

invest in community mental health care, like crisis and early intervention services, otherwise the system will continue to fail people with mental illness.”

The steering group also discussed a lack of beds in mental health wards, resulting in people being transported to different areas of the country to be admitted. The minutes recorded: “The issue is particularly acute for children and young people, but also affects adults and there may be unlawful detention as they run out of time to find beds.”

Concerns have previously been raised that patients may be being sectioned under the Mental Health Act – which should only happen when they are a risk either to themselves or others – because of a belief that it may make provision of a bed more

likely.

The mental health crisis care concordat – signed by 22 national organisations, including the Department of Health, the Home Office and the charity Mind – is aimed at securing improvements in the treatment of people having a mental heath crisis.

The minutes expressed the hope that blocks of funding being allocated this year for liaison psychiatry and early intervention in psychosis would result in fewer people turning up at A&E. Labour, which obtained the leaked minutes, described them as proof of “the growing crisis in our mental health system”.

Shadow public health minister, Luciana Berger, said: “It is outrageous that at the same time as accepting that there are not enough mental health beds for everyone that needs one, particularly those for children and young people, no action was agreed about what steps were needed to tackle it.”

A Liberal Democrat spokeswoman said the party had made great strides in government, including enshrining equality for mental health treatment in law and securing more than £1bn to revolutionise services for children.

She added: “Equality for people with mental health issues is a liberal mission.

The Liberal Democrats would insist on investing an extra £8bn in the NHS each year, as well as introducing maximum waiting times for mental health services, as a red line for entering a coalition.”

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Health

Friday 8th May 2015

Issues

Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

DR MACHI MANNU

Q

I was prescribed medications a few years ago for joint pains and abdominal upset which helped the problem, but I am still taking the medications, and wonder if I should continue or stop.

A

It is not uncommon for doctors or healthc a r e providers to prescribe a medication and not review the patient over time. At our clinic, we frequently come across people who continue to take medications they no longer require because no one advised them to stop.

Normally, when you see a doctor for the first time, your medications should be reviewed and taken into account when considering any problems you have at present.

Most people start off quite well with their prescribed medications, but over time they may develop problems or side effects. For example, beta blockers may be prescribed for someone with an irregular and fast heart rate, however the same

medication also lowers blood pressure and may give rise to symptoms such as dizziness and vertigo.

Without a proper medical history, that same person may be prescribed a drug such as SERC to treat the dizziness, and while this may or may not provide a temporary solution, it still does not address the dizziness which was caused by the first medication prescribed. What´s worse is that the second medication may cause other problems which will require more medications to treat, and the cycle continues. One reason doctors and healthcare professionals are reluctant to stop medications is to avoid taking responsibilities for any possible negative outcome.

There are some medications which you may have to take for a life time, however many drugs that are

prescribed as such are only necessary for alleviating symptoms, and should only be taken for a short term. Some medications can be stopped straightaway without any problems such as statins that are prescribed for high cholesterol. But some drugs need to be gradually stopped as the body adapts to them over time. People taking pain killers for a long time usually experience withdrawal symptoms if they try to come off them all at once. In addition, pain killers cause serious damage to the liver and kidneys and should only be used for a short while until the cause of the pain is found and treated.

Because public health doctors are mandated to prescribe pain killers rather than carry out appropriate out appropriate diagnosis, many people have come to see pain killers as the only

solution to pain. The reality is that pain is a symptom of a problem, and is best managed by treating its cause.

People are more likely to take medications prescribed for joint problems indefinitely believing their problem may return if the medication is stopped. For example, Allopurinol is prescribed to alleviate joint pain caused by gout and oftentimes people continue to take them for life, unaware that allopurinol increases the risk of kidney diseases over time.

Drugs like omeprazole are often prescribed to ´protect the stomach´ from the effects of other medications, unfortunately people continue to take them even when they no longer take the primary drug.

You should approach your doctor to review your medications and tell you what you still need to take.

Following Doctors Orders Very often I hear people say ´I was ok until I started taking the medication my doctor prescribed and I don´t want to stop because he´ll be mad at me´ It surprises me how many people have this attitude towards doctor and the health system in general and will carry-out every instruction given to them without any thoughts, even to their own detriment. This behaviour is seen more commonly in the older gen-

erations. They have been conditioned to obey the white coat. The image of the white coat and stethoscope is enough to put people in a trance state and get them to obey all instructions given. The older generation especially, grew up in an era when doctors were revered within society, perhaps with good reason as then they practised real medicine and had control over their own profession.

But times have changed. To

put it bluntly, today´s medicine is less about curing diseases but more about prescribing drugs to treat symptoms. When was the last time you heard about a drug manufactured to cure a disease? Sadly the medical profession today is highly influenced by the pharmaceutical industries.

Many public health institutions are often managed by non-medical administrators and the decisions they make may not be in the

interest of healthcare. But the older generation still continues to look up to the medical profession as they have always done, without realising that the system is no longer what it used to be. Today many health procedures that should be a part of healthcare such as intensive diagnosis have been gradually withdrawn, leaving only the prescription of drugs. For these reasons, it is not in your interest to take the word of any

doctor as gospel. If possible seek a second or even a third opinion about your health. The internet is there to provide you with information with the click of a button. Find out more about any medication that you have been prescribed. If you notice an effect you never had before starting the drug, make sure you inform your doctor. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into taking medications. It is your legal right to refuse

any drug or therapy. This does not mean that you will no longer receive treatment from your doctor. Most importantly, ask your doctor the questions on your mind, and if they appear too rude or arrogant to answer them, then perhaps it´s time to look for someone else.

Remember! It´s your body, and if anything goes wrong, you alone will feel the pain.

For a full body diagnostic scan call 965071745, 966189074

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Friday 8th May 2015

Horoscopes Aries March 21-April 20 Trouble in the skies early in the week could impair your judgment, so shelve ambitious plans and be patient a while longer.

Feedback or support from friends midweek is due to help you find a new way forward. It could also make you see how strong your hand is, especially where a close relationship or a new, important friendship is concerned.

Taurus April 21-May 21 Life is action-packed early in the week, when the Full Moon heightens your emotions, and you also have to make decisions linked to both your home life and career. Stand back and wait until the planetary pattern changes later in the week before you act. Diplomatic Venus helps you to pour oil on troubled waters then, so use your powers of persuasion wisely.

Gemini May 22-June 21 With your ruler, Mercury, in Gemini from Monday the way to handle recent problems may seem crystal clear, but this is not the time to put someone under pressure. In fact, the less you say, the better, so let others make their own decisions. If you give them space, they will start to see that you are right.

Concentrate on your social life instead.

Cancer June 22-July 23 A tricky personal situation may preoccupy you now.With the Sun in tune with Pluto, the planet that rules secrets and deep feelings, what matters most this week is reaching a more open, easygoing understanding with someone you would like to see much more of. Many things could change if you overcome your natural reserve and show your hand.

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Friday 8th May 2015

By Pandora Leo July 24-August 23 Catching up with your old friends and breaking new, adventurous ground should be your top priorities in weeks to come, so shelve unnecessary chores and put your personal interests first. An unexpected meeting later in the week could also have far-reaching repercussions that you could not have foreseen, so keep your options open.

Virgo August 24-September 23 Monday's Full Moon in your chart's communication zone could help you to discover something that you badly need to know.

Stand back and try to see the broader picture. This is not the time to make decisions that affect your long-term goals, so relax and put ambitious plans on hold. Romance and social life are closely linked later in the week.

Libra September 24-October 23 Do not discuss new projects with a friend or colleague early in the week, or you could create more problems than you solve.

Financial tensions ease from Friday, when your ruler, Venus, moves into your chart's career zone, so fine-tune your plans in readiness for better times ahead. You will recognise the moment to take action when it comes.

Scorpio October 24-November 22 The annual Full Moon in Scorpio on Monday puts you in touch with your emotions and gives you heightened intuition, so focus on your private life this week. A conversation that you had not planned could also help you get your bearings in a situation that preoccupies you. Let go of preconceived ideas and be prepared to change your plans.

Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Your chart's most psychic zone is activated by this week's Full Moon, helping you to read between the lines and understand somebody's real motives. You may also sense, quite rightly, that the situation is not cast in stone, so if you have been waiting for a chance to push through changes, now is the time to act. Plan to socialise on Thursday.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 The planetary pattern early in the week could make it hard for you to see your situation, and your options, in perspective. The tempo eases from midweek, so make no hard and fast decisions now. Romantic, diplomatic Venus is due to take charge of your close relationships from Friday, giving you a sure-fre sense of what to say, and when.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 With the Zodiac's most extroverted planet, Mercury, in your chart's zone of adventure until mid-July, new horizons beckon in the weeks to come. People you meet now could inspire you to branch out, or give you extra motivation, so do not let existing friends restrict your freedom or pour cold water on your plans. The time has come to make your own decisions.

Pisces February 20 - March 20 The Full Moon in the area of your skies that rules longdistance travel, as well as your whole philosophy of life, stresses the importance of being open to new people and ideas this week. From Friday, romantic Venus also moves into your chart's zone of adventure, so cut loose from restrictions, live life to the full, relax, and do things your way.

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Friday 8th May 2015

FREE cate. No trafico visit require.

Torrevieja based office. Call 966 923 963.

Hiace white Toyota Power Van LWB. Good condition, well maintained, long MOT, RHD. Regularly serviced.

1000€. Tell 620 135 988.

AUCTIONS

CHURCH SERVICES

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

CARS

Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 Car document transfers same day provisional certifi-

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Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our

CATERING

CAR HIRE

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org.

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

ACCOUNTANTS

friendly staff.

Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:- 664 838 581

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SERVICES Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with Spanish Wills, debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence, Spanish Wills. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

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Friday 8th May 2015

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44

Friday 8th May 2015

About

Golf

IVIE DAVIES With this week being the fourth anniversary of Seve’s death, it seemed an appropriate moment to write about the future of the Ballesteros name.

Perhaps it is the shock of jetblack hair, or perhaps it is the unmistakable olive skin tone, but either way, Javier Ballesteros is a young man who can be recognised at 100 paces. He toils on the driving range with a familiar, furious intensity, and even his sweater, worn over a white golf shirt, carries a reminder of an exotic lineage, of an image we have seen before. Quietly but strikingly, the

son of Seve is on the march. He was the shy 16-year-old toting his father’s bag at Royal Birkdale, during the emotionally

A Weekly look at the Golf scene

golfdavies@gmail.com

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

draining Open of 2006, as Seve bid a tearful farewell to the championship in front of galleries craving one final exhibition of the old magic. It was only some earnest persuasion by the son that prompted Seve to play at all. The icon of European golf had not even made a cut at a major for over a decade, but on this occasion it was family that mattered most.

He only played because Javier told him he wanted to caddy for him. Eventually his Dad said, ‘OK, let’s go.’ There was no better place than the Open, his dad loved playing in England. They

played with Ian Poulter and Shaun Micheel, and I had never experienced crowds like that.

The first day, when they went to

the first tee, everyone was clapping. There was not, alas, to be any miraculous last conjuring trick. Seve finished far adrift in the field at seven over, missing the cut by many a mile, but with Javier at his side he offered throughout two convulsive days a demonstration of his career in miniature, coupling acts of devilish escapology with plenty of the shockingly errant driving that plagued his later career.

The lessons of history seem not to dissuade the heir to the Ballesteros dynasty. Already Javier has resolved, apparently irrevocably, that golf is his calling. He boasts a formidable academic pedigree, having been enrolled for the past three years on a law degree at Complutense University in Madrid, a place consistently ranked as the finest seat of learning in Spain. But late last year he decided, with surprising suddenness, to swap the casebooks for the clubs in pursuit of a dream that had preoccupied him from the cradle. He is playing a lot more. It is a change for the good, because this is what he loves.

One wonders if his late father would have been won over by his logic. Ballesteros Snr was always adamant that his eldest boy should have a contingency if the golfing route proved fruitless, a stable livelihood on which to depend in the context of spiraling Spanish unemployment figures. Javier looks melancholy as he recalls such paternal wisdom. Seve had to do caddying at the club in Pedreña just to have any money at home. He turned pro very early.

“I’ve always wanted to be a professional golfer,” Javier says, He took the plunge into the paid ranks last November, making his debut on the European Tour with an appearance in January at the Dubai Desert Classic.

There, José María Olazábal, Ballesteros’ long-time Ryder Cup partner, was visibly moved by his presence. “I saw a lot of

Seve out there,” he said, having accompanied Javier in a threeball alongside Miguel Ángel Jiménez. “He has a lot of the same mannerisms.”

For his part, Javier reacts diffidently to these comparisons, saying merely that it is “wonderful to go to different places and see that my father is muchloved there”. He could be forgiven, though, for feeling encumbered by the weight of his ancestral inheritance. His father, bequeathing five major titles and a lifetime of indelible moments, remains emblematic of an ideal in golf, symbolising the thrilling audacity with which the game could and should be played.

Javier is nothing if not resolute in his commitment to be renowned for his own achievements. “I don’t feel any pressure, none at all,” he says. “What my dad did was incredible. In my opinion, I learned from the best.

Javier’s upbringing formed a curious blend of rustic and metropolitan. Much of his childhood was centered around Pedreña, the modest fishing village by the Bay of Santander, which his father would never leave. But after his parents’ divorce in

2004, he and his siblings, Carmen and Miguel, spent increasing amounts of time with their mother in Madrid. An abiding message from Seve was that raw talent, which he displayed in unprecedented abundance, would only take him so far.

It is the creativity of Seve’s play that finds most echoes in his son’s style. At one point in his round with Olazábal at the Emirates Club in Dubai, Javier hooked his tee-shot at the fifth so violently that the ball came to rest in a patch of desiccated scrubland. Undeterred, he hit his second shot from 170 yards to 10 feet from the pin, betraying the same level of dexterity that Seve had perfected in hours of practice on the pebbles of Pedreña beach with woodenshafted clubs. Are such flashes of inspiration owed to his father’s example?

“Maybe some,” he admits.

Javier practiced at Pedreña with his dad many times and he tried to teach him how to do it.

After sparking much anticipation with his victory at the Madrid Open in 2012, he fell short in December in his quest to claim a season-long place on

Europe’s third-tier Alps Tour, before departing the Desert Classic with rounds of 83 and 81. But the steady stream of invitationals is beginning to bear fruit: he came 12th at a tournament in France last month, and refuses to abandon his aspirations.

For the sprawling mansion that Seve built in Pedreña, and where Javier grew up, one moment – El Momento, as it was to be known in Spain – assumed maximum prominence. Holing the winning putt on the 18th at St Andrews in 1984 was a feat Ballesteros cherished so much that he had the picture of his victory pose tattooed on his left arm. The same silhouette was rendered in bronze on the front door. It was even stenciled on to every European Ryder Cup player’s bag at Medinah, for the first contest since his death at the age of 54. It is refreshing to find, four years after Europe tragically lost its inimitable, swashbuckling golfing matador that the spirit of Seve could yet live on in both word and deed. Now there’s an airport named after him Aeropuerto Seve Ballesteros Santander-Parayas.

TITTER ON THE TEE KNOW YOUR RULES

A lady went into a Golf Club and saw a golfer with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest golf shoes she'd ever seen. The woman asked the golfer if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.

The golfer grinned and said, "Of course it is, my love.

Why don't you come up to the apartment and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

The next morning she handed him £100.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thank you, my love. I am really flattered; nobody has ever paid me for my services before."

"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some golf shoes that fit."

QUESTION

A player is waiting to start his stroke play round. He has arrived early so to fill in time starts chipping balls around the first tee. His playing partner suggests he has broken the Rules by practicing on the course before his round. Which of the answers is correct? (a) He is disqualified (b) He is penalised 2 strokes (c) There is no penalty

ANSWER (c) There is no penalty - Rule 7.1

45

Friday 8th May 2015

ELCHE’S MIRACLE

Elche guaranteed their Primera Division status for another year after battling to victory at Malaga in their most exciting match of the season, as the Ilicitanos clung on for all three points, despite being down to ten men and surviving an onslaught which included Malaga missing a penalty. The enormity of Elche’s achievements cannot be overestimated, as last Christmas they looked

very good value for relegation as supporters wandered where the next corner and goal was coming from, let alone a point or a priceless victory, in addition to the club’s financial problems. Now they are safe, with three games still to play.

Jonathas de Jesus scored his 12th goal of the season to give the Ilicitanos a first-half lead but Malaga, who had three goals dis-

allowed over the 90 minutes, should have levelled in the second half when they were awarded a penalty and Elche goalkeeper Przemyslaw Tyton was sent off for bringing down Javi Guerra. However, Duda hit the woodwork from the spot and then Chelsea loanee Mario Pasalic sealed the points by finishing off a smooth counterattack. Javi Guerra pulled one

SUAREZ BITES INTO FODDER

MALAGA 1 ELCHE 2

back in the 94th minute and could have even grabbed an equaliser in the final minute of stoppage time, but Elche held on to jubilantly celebrate securing top flight status for a second year in a row.

Fran Escriba believes his team have pulled off a "miracle", considering the club's financial troubles this season. "It felt like the film Groundhog Day, constant

thumping drive from Ivan Rakitic in the 42nd minute, and Suarez doubled the advantage on the stroke of half-time. Messi stretched the visitors' lead further by scoring in the first minute of the second half, and then Suarez struck again, before Gerard Pique, Messi and

Neymar each scored, the latter from the penalty spot, with Suarez grabbing his third in the 88th minute. The La Liga leaders are at home to Real Sociedad tomorrow (Saturday) and two points clear of Real Madrid, with three matches left in the season.

MESSI MAGIC BARCELONA 3

BAYERN MUNICH 0

Lionel Messi scored twice as Barcelona struck three times in the final 13 minutes of the first leg to whisk their Champions League semifinal tie away from a stubborn Bayern Munich side.

The hosts seemed set for a frustrating night before Messi fired a low shot home from the edge of the area.

Three minutes later he skipped past Jerome Boateng and dinked home

coolly. Led by ex-Barca boss Pep Guardiola, Bayern pushed for an away goal and were punished again as Neymar raced clear, with the return leg to come on Tuesday.

month. Anguix's main task is to oversee changes to make the club financially viable.

"The club needs to be cleaned up," Escriba said. "There are a lot of people that have had a tough time because of the club's poor financial situation and we need to be wary because this miracle will not be repeated in the next few years." Elche’s next match is away to Villarreal this Sunday.

RONALDO LIFTS REAL SEVILLA 2 REAL MADRID 3

CORDOBA 0 BARCELONA 8

Luis Suarez scored his first hattrick for Barcelona and Lionel Messi bagged a double as the Catalans thrashed Cordoba away from home, relegating the Andalusian side in the process.

The hosts did well to survive Barca's early onslaught but eventually fell behind to a

suffering until the end of the game," Escriba commented.

"The ones responsible for this miracle are the players, they deserve it."

Elche's players and staff have not been paid wages in the last three months and the club last week appointed Valencia businessman Juan Anguix as their new president to replace Jose Sepulcre, who resigned last

Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick as Real ended Sevilla's 15 month unbeaten home run last Saturday night, to keep them two leaders behind points Barcelona. Ronaldo netted twice within a minute late in the first half to put Madrid in

command, but their advantage was reduced to a single goal before the break when Carlos Bacca scored from the penalty spot, after a poor challenge by Sergio Ramos.

Ronaldo headed in a fine Gareth Bale cross from a

tight angle to calm the visimidway nerves tors' through the second period, only for Vicente Iborra to set up a tense finale. Real now have another tricky looking match tomorrow evening as they entertain Valencia.

A REAL FIGHT JUVENTUS 2

Juventus will travel to Real Madrid with a one-goal lead in their Champions League semi-final second leg after securing a deserved home victory.

Juve went ahead when

Alvaro Morata slotted in against his old club after Carlos Tevez's effort was spilled. Real levelled when Cristiano Ronaldo nodded in James Rodriguez's cross. But the holders

REAL MADRID 1

looked out of sorts and slipped behind again as Dani Carvajal tripped Tevez after the break and the Argentine dispatched the spot-kick. The return leg is on Wednesday.

46

Friday 8th May 2015

HOME RUN EXTENDED

CD TORREVIEJA 1 CREVILLENTE DEPORTIVO 1

Torrevieja kept their unbeaten home record under coach Pedreno going as they fought back against a Crevillente side that needed to win in order to keep their play-off chances going. The visitors took the lead through a sweet Lolo drive in the 38th minute, perfectly placed to beat the fingertips of Oscar, but well-judged to nestle in the corner of the net. Pedreno

called for more from the Torry players, and his charges responded, with Brani working tirelessly, scorching up the wing in attack and racing back like his life depended upon it to close down and tackle raiding opponents. Everyone upped their work rate and deservedly got their rewards when goal scorer Lolo turned villain and handled inside the box to prevent a pass

reaching Brani. Rafa Gomez was in no mood to slip up, firing the ball hard into the left hand corner of the net as Poveda dived the wrong way.

Crevillente then upped the pressure bringing out a couple of excellent saves from Oscar.

Torry captain Jorge ran himself ragged in the middle of the park and was substituted after a caution to ensure he did not collect

another and therefore a red card. In the end it was Cristian who received his marching orders after two cautions. One for allegedly diving in the box, when most expected another Torry penalty after two defenders were left in his wake and sandwiched him. His back tackling one minute before the end means he misses this Sunday’s 5.00pm kick off at La Nucia.

Meanwhile, the club will hold their first Gala Awards Dinner since 2009 at El Huertano restaurant in Torrevieja. The six awards include one for the Young Player of the Year ending with the Player of the Year award, who fans have been voting for over the last fortnight.

The winner will be ratified when the board meets next to count the votes and get the trophy

MONTE FIGHT BACK

inscribed. It is one of six trophies donated by regular club benefactor, Steve Dumbarton of S&A Design in the town, with.

Steve's 16 year old son Jamie having been a substitute on the bench for Torry several times this season.

Tickets at 15 euros each are available from the Torry Office in San Luis and are strictly limited to just 60 places.

CD MONTESINOS 3 GRUPO CALICHE CF 2

Montesinos are finishing off their season in a winning flourish, which sadly is too late to put them into promotion contention, but the signs augur well for the next campaign. It was exciting fare last Sunday afternoon as Monte fought back from a two

goal deficit against the Pilar-based side to notch up another victory. The visitors have never won at Montesinos, and the home side’s dominating attacks plus a string of ten corners didn’t phase Grupo Caliche, whilst keeper Carlos at the other end produced two

excellent saves. Rubio had a series of near misses, whilst Macan having spotted the keeper just off the line, saw a clever chip sail just wide.

Two minutes into the second half, Grupo Caliche took a surprise lead when the ball was slotted in under Lopez’s

legs, and then a screaming 30 yard free kick doubled the advantage with Lopez rooted to the spot. Monte kept going with Vaz and Carlos coming close to scoring, and they got their reward with two goals in just three minutes. Macan was substituted by

EVERYBODY OUT!

The finale of the Spanish football season could be disrupted after the country's football federation said it intended to suspend all competitions over a dispute with the government over a new

La Liga TV contract. The RFEF said it would "suspend competitions of all categories starting from May 16th indefinitely", which means the likes of Barcelona and Elche down to CD Torrevieja

would be left twiddling their thumbs doing nothing. The RFEF said it was acting after three months of unsatisfactory talks, but added that they remained "open to dialogue" with the govern-

ment. If there is no resolution, the crucial title clash between Barcelona and Atletico Madrid on May 17th and the Copa del Rey final on May 30th could be among 30,000 games affected. At the

Orouker who had an instant impact on the game, with Fernando crossing for Vaz to score, and then an almost identical move featuring the same two men, produced a copycat goal.

Grupo Caliche responded forcing two fine saves from Lopez,

but then at the other end, Orouker found Carlos in space, and his long cross found Fernando, who smashed an unstoppable shot into the net to secure an exciting victory. This Sunday, Monte are away to Sporting Orihuela with a 6.00 pm kick-off.

moment, Spanish clubs can negotiate their own TV deals. But in an apparent attempt to end the stranglehold of Barcelona and Real Madrid, the Spanish government wants all clubs to negoti-

ate collectively - just as they do in England's Premier League.

In another twist, the AFE players' union has threatened to strike over being excluded from the negotiations.

47

Friday 8th May 2015

Sport

Gossip DEPUTY ISN’T A TOP DOG

JOHN McGREGOR

In 30 odd years of selling, I often saw instances of the best salesman being promoted to management positions that had occurred through promotions or people leaving.

Rarely did it work out; good salesmen are a breed, and they hunt better alone – and management is a totally different ball game. It’s similar in football. Good players don’t usually make good managers, although some move well into the coaching and backroom roles that are

return to London and manage Crystal Palace, where he used to play.

Pardew was heavily criticised at St James Park by the fans who hated him, and was personally undermined by the owner Mike Ashley numerous times – and often vilified by the media when his passionate touchline style sometimes boiled over which led to FA disciplinary problems. But now Pardew has had the last laugh on everyone, as having personally kept the Magpies

man in tune – toon? - with his own very loyal, long suffering supporters. In one of the most passionate football areas in the country, there are always 50,000 in the wonderful stadium of St James Park, where the North East people were reared on football with household names like Milburn and Shearer, and deserve much, much more than Mike Ashley offers. It seemed like a casual afterthought, prompted by the press, that honest, loyal – but assistant – John Carver was

essential in football. Some even make a decent ‘number two’, providing a good supporting role to the manager, but rarely does a good number two step up to become a great manager.

Last Saturday, Newcastle’s caretaker manager, ex number two John Carver spoke to the press following his side’s eighth consecutive defeat.

His bitter, knee-jerk comments were made bravely/naively/honestly/stupidly – delete where applicable. This latest defeat brings the traditionally-proud Magpies to the brink of the Dreaded Drop Department.

With only three games left, the unthinkable could just happen with Newcastle set to suffer relegation. Much earlier this season, the Tyneside giants were as high as fifth – but that was under Alan Pardew who left in January to

respectably mid-table, he then took over at much-moremodest Palace. The Eagles were hovering dangerously around the DDD but the football-wise Pardew steadily steered Palace upwards and onwards soon becoming a sound and feared Premier side – as opposed to the weak, ineffective laughing stock that Newcastle have become, in effect everyone’s rabbits! What has happened?

When Pardew left, Ashley did nothing, merely letting Pardew’s assistant manager, the tough Geordie John Carver hold the reins temporarily, while he attended to his unpopular attempts at taking control at mighty Rangers north of the border. While Ashley is undoubtedly a clever, sound, successful businessman, the man is a disaster as a passionate football club owner. He is not a

given the manager’s role until the end of the season.

But the job, the role, the position is wrong. The man is a square peg in a round hole,

and shows what an enormous gulf there is between numbers one and two. There are obviously player power problems where certain players clearly do not want to be there and are not behind the manager. Even the normallyreliant club captain Argentinian Fabricio Coloccini gives up when beaten, and the other heads go down at the first sign of trouble. Last Saturday, matters came to a head against fighting-by-contrast Leicester who have unbelievably reversed the hearse of relegation with four wins on the spin before the Foxes were checked by Chelsea last week. After getting booked earlier, the Magpies centreback Mike Williamson stupidly and needlessly launched himself at Leicester ‘s hero Jamie Vardy, the ‘tackle’ even outside the touchline. The experienced and much travelled defender was rightly booked and sent off accordingly, the first of two to go as the Magpies abjectly finished their 3 – 0 defeat with nine men. Post-match Carver let it slip – or rip, was that deliberate, it appeared to be – that he and Williamson had ‘had words’, and amazingly Carver publicly accused his own player of deliberately getting sent off, in order to then miss playing in two out the last three games, which

are crucial to survival.

That sort of managerial comment is unbelievable, well outside the disciplines of normal doublespeak that all managers usually spout when in trouble. You know, they ‘didn’t see’ key incidents (like our Arsene), or ‘we’ll talk about that on Monday’ although Carver did say there would be a lot of talk on Monday. The straightforward, no nonsense Geordie has survived at the club for now, and logically it would seem folly for him to go at this stage - or would it, while Newcastle still have a chance of staying

up? Would a new man fire the players up for a final effort where Carver cannot?

Just where Newcastle go from here managerial-wise long term is anyone’s guess.

In the meantime the Magpies’ last three games are home to West Brom, who did well to beat Man United at Old Trafford on Saturday, and then away to relegationhaunted QPR. Finally the last match of the season is at home to West Ham who are themselves picking up again after a disappointing mid-season. Now that result could be very interesting.

BRUM’S BROWNLEES

Birmingham University’s Triathlon team has been in Torrevieja recently grabbed some good weather and using the Sports City training facilities. The 23 athletes hit the water in the pool as

well as the sea, in addition to using the running track.

A triathlon is a multiplestage competition involving the completion of three continuous and sequential endurance disciplines. While many vari-

ations of the sport exist, triathlon, in its most popular form, involves swimming, cycling, and running in immediate succession over various distances.

48

Friday 8th May 2015

EASTERN PROMISE

BLUE IS THE COLOUR

>> Delia Smith watching her team Norwich City Now that the Championship dust has settled, you couldn’t make it up in the play-offs.

Paired together – it’s only Norwich and Ipswich! The East Anglian derby this Saturday kicks off at the very sensible sober time of 12.15pm – almost appropriate high noon. Less emotional, but equally as important, the day before Brentford take on Middlesborough. How well the Bees have done to be potentially playing in the Prestigious Prem, although the West London club need to end their hoodoo of losing out in their last seven play-offs. These matches are both first legs, the seconds are on the following Friday and Saturday with the Wembley final on Monday May 25th. Who do you fancy? The play-offs are such a lottery that the third-placed team rarely win through. That’s Norwich in this case: ‘Let’s be having you!’ – eh, Delia?

If the answers are: a) Chelsea b) 1 – 0 c) Hazard, and d) penalty, then you can fill in the questions yourself.

Seriously though, yes, it’s Chelsea’s title, and good luck to ‘em. Winning it was all down to Jose Mourinho’s brilliant pre-season planning, in bringing Diego Costa, Cesc Fabregas and Thibaut Courtois (back) to Stamford Bridge, and getting the best out of John Terry and the lads he retained - especially Eden Hazard, the deserved Footballer of the Year. It’s not over yet for the also-ran placings, Man City are second along with Cup favourites Arsenal, but the Gunners have a game in hand.

Look, Lofty Louis, what’s the Mata with Man United now? The Red Devils’ third consecutive defeat saw West Brom secure Prem status with the 1 – 0 win at Old Trafford, but all the Galling questions are back. Was that RAFA plane flying by Old Trafford towing a Mancunian message, or was it heading towards Liverpool? Is our Ryan learning how to manage – or how not to do it? Why have we/they bought such expensive crap? And the most important of all, the key question – can United hang on to fourth spot and keep those dreaded, detestable despots down the East Lancs Road Europa, but not Europe bound? ‘Coom Sat’day United are away to Crystal Palace (hmm…), then their last home game is a mightily-important sixpoint cliff-hanger against old foes/gunning great Arsenal; and finally United are away to hallucinating Hull. So it’s back to the Theatre of Nightmares again for some bigguns in the next few weeks.

Who’d be a Newcastle fan at the mo? Their beleaguered team looks fully capable of snatching relegation from the jaws of mid-table, mid-season security, today displaying zilch team spirit with no-confidence-in-theirmanagement (see over). Still, it could be worse, you could be dead men walking like Burnley or Quite Probably Relegated who both look Championship bound. But the £64 million loss question is – who’s going with ‘em? All the usual suspects won – Leicester, Sunderland, Hull, Villa – oh, except that on Monday recently-revived Hull suffered a huge setback at home to those same Gunners, for whom two-goal Sanchez looked irresistible.

McCLAREN’S DERBY WOE The Championship? Well, that league was all done and dusted on Saturday bar the play-offs, with a few twists – some good, some bad, and some very ugly. Those fully ripened Cherries from Bournemouth will finally go up as Champions, courtesy of winning wildly away 3 – 0 at Charlton while also-promoted Wa tford could only draw at home to Sheffield We dnesday. But the final play-off positions were not

for the faint-hearte d . N orw i c h a nd Middlesbrough w e re d e s e rv e d certs – but otherw i s e i t w a s v e ry u n c e rt a i n b e f ore Saturday as to who came fift h a nd s i x t h a nd went into the draw - or who finished seventh and eighth - and heartbreak.

The f i rs t t he re was Brentford w ho h a mm e re d relegated Wigan 3 – 0, and then Ipswich, who actually lost 3 -2 at Blackburn but still had t he ne c e s s a ry points to see ‘em through.

Wolves ended on the same points, 78, as Brentford and Ipswich after beating Millwall 4 - 2 but cruelly lost

Chelsea Champions

out on goal difference. But it was an absolute catastrophe a t h u rt P ri d e P a rk , w he re fancied Derby amazingly lost out. The Rams had been in the top group all season, but a final savage and totally unexpected 3 – 0 defeat at home by lowly Reading saw the East Midlands side leapfrogged out of the play-offs.

What a situation now for c l e a rl y - ra t t l e d manager Steve McClaren. ‘I'm really a nnoy e d, a ngry, a n d f rus trated… this is how I feel at t h e pre s e n t mom e n t . I 'm under contract at Derby and I've said that all along. I've been questioned about all the speculation which has been going on for about six m o n t hs . ’ Thi s l a t t e r c o m-

ment refers to M c C la r e n b e in g linked with the manag e r ’s p o s it io n a t n e r v y, n e u r o t ic N e w c a s t le – wh o i r o n ic a lly a r e n o w t e e t e r in g on the ed g e o f t h e D D D t h e m s e lv e s .

How w e ir d wo u ld it h a v e been if Derby had been promoted and N e w c a s t le r e le g a t e d (and they still might).

N o w M c C la r e n h a s st a t e d h e is n o t going to Newcastle - wh ic h p r e s u m ably means he is staying at Derby – does it? This is f o o t b a ll -

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47