The Courier - Edition 205

Edition 205

www.thecourier.es

Friday 23rd January 2015

NOW YOU SEE THEM...

PROPERTY CHIEF DECLARES BEFORE JUDGE

By ALEX TRELINSKI A Torrevieja real estate agency appears to have shut up shop with a string of clients forced to issue denun­ cias with the Guardia Civil having to locate the company director on a search and capture order issued by a local court. The company director and company administrator were both found by the Guardia and declared in front of a Torrevieja judge this week after clients accused them of misap­ propriating funds.

The vanishing act for Spanish Property Consultants (SPC) International based in La Siesta (premises pictured “before and after”), with offices in Quesada and Punta Prima (both also closed), appeared to happen almost overnight last month. The company focused on British and Scandinavian customers looking to buy properties in the area and The Courier

understands that alarm bells started to ring when a number of clients began to wonder what had happened to the origi­ nal title deeds of properties bought through SPC. Clients complained that they were given excuses over a long peri­ od of time and they claim that the final paperwork was not produced despite assurances being given that all tax pay­ ments and other documentation had been completed.

Some of the clients have taken matters further, making their own enquiries and they discovered from their Notary that their provision of funds payments (to cover notary and registry fees, as well as other essentials like property taxes) had not been made. They were then left with no alternative but to take out denuncias against SPC International’s company director (initials R.F.R.F.) and the compa­ ny administrator (J.R.P.). The clients have accused them of misappropriating

funds; fraud; and falsifying public docu­ ments.

The SPC website is still on line and makes no mention of current develop­ ments but instead states: ­ “From our Head Office in La Siesta we can offer a complete currency transfer service, to or from Spain; a full building and refurbish­ ment service; a comprehensive range of insurance products and also the service of a lawyer specialising in criminal and civil cases”.

Professional Business Support in Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja (next door to the Swedish church) have put together a special help­line number to give advice to anyone who has had dealings with SPC (Tel:­ 966 923 963), and already have had contact with a number of people who have been affected by recent events.

They are also offering a free consultation with the lawyer in charge of the case to clients who need help.

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Before

After

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Friday 23rd January 2015

TELEPHONE

966 921 003 679 096 309 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1600 EDITOR Alex Trelinski LAYOUT & DESIGN James Bone ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765

EARDRUM FIB

Prosecutors have thrown out assault charges against Valencian MP, Elisa Diaz, who had been accused of hitting an Irish woman, named in the Spanish media as Jasmine Lion (pictured together in court with Diaz on the left) at the ASOKA pet centre in Orihuela in August 2013. The victim had claimed that the assault had perforated her eardrum as well as assaulting her 10 year old daughter, but this week’s trial at the Valencia Superior Court came to a dramatic end on Tuesday after the charges were dropped following a string of eyewitnesses who said that Diaz did not attack the alleged victim, and that it was Lion who was the physical aggressor. She ended up being fined and may face further prosecution for making false allegations.

Diaz, whose father was a former mayor of Alicante, was facing prosecution calls for an 18 month jail sentence as well as an 800 euros fine. She had travelled to the shelter in San Bartolomé 18 months ago to collect some dogs and, whilst there, Lion arrived with her daughter and two guard dogs. Sra Diaz advised her to be careful with the animals as they may cause problems if they got into contact with other rescue dogs. In fact, the guard dogs tried to fight with and attack some of the other charges at the shelter, and Sra Diaz insisted they were put into cages.

A verbal argument broke out between the two women leading to Lion spitting in the MP's face and three months later she filed against Sra Diaz, claim­

ing she had perforated her eardrum during the alleged scrap, which witnesses testified was instigat­ ed by Lion. But prosecutors admitted on Tuesday that the woman had lied about her hearing problems and a subsequent test had shown her ear to be per­ fectly fine.

The lawyer representing Diaz said Lion had lied to her legal representative and that her only priority was to get some 80 thousand euros in compensation and added that he planned to take legal action against

PORN SWOOP

Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034

her for making a false accusation against his client.

Meanwhile, Judge Pilar de la Oliva fined Lion 800 euros for assaulting Diaz, plus ordered her to pay 150 euros in compensation to the victim as well awarding all the case costs against her.

Speaking to reporters, Diaz said that she was delighted to prove “doubters wrong now that they had all the information”, and also accused the media of failing to presume her innocence ahead of a court hearing.

RING OF SHAME

Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

12 people have been arrested across Alicante Province in locations including Torrevieja and Alicante City on charges of making and distributing child pornography, including one person who recorded footage featuring two girls from his own family being abused. The National Police said yes­ terday (Thursday) that their operation started last February and the arrests happened right across the region, including a number of people who held positions that directly dealt with children like babysitters. Extensive police monitoring and tracking of file sharing sites led to 14 homes beings searched around the area with a lot of equipment being seized including 38 hard drives; 8 laptops; 19 pen drives; and 13 mobile phones. Many explicit images were found of abuse as well as the use of “hidden cameras”.

A prostitution ring operating in the Murcia region which included selling chil­ dren for sex has been smashed by the National Police with 29 people being arrested. The ring recruited some 400 women and girls between the ages of 14 and 17 in a school and in nightclubs in the region as well as through the internet, to work in brothels according to an Interior Ministry statement on Wednesday. The arrests included three women suspected of running the ring, and 15 of their clients (aged between 40 and 80) who would specifically ask for under­age girls, with charges of between 80 and 200 euros.

"The ring had put together a photobook which offered 'a la carte' over 400 women, including minors," the statement said.

Authorities did not say how many under­age girls were featured in the photo­ book but the interior ministry said it had identified 12 such victims of the ring.

The National Police were seeking further suspects with an interest in children as well as more victims of sexual exploitation by the gang.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, per­ haps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents

– or happier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

DUAL DEAL

The green light has been signalled for the long­awaited upgrading of the N332 around Torrevieja into a dual­carriage­ way, with the project expected to be completed by 2018. The Local Government Board has now approved the deal between Torrevieja Council, the Valencian Government, and the Development Ministry, with formal signatures expected in the next few weeks.

The 32 million euro project is expected to be tendered soon by the Ministry of Public Works, according to Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolon (pictured on the left with planning councillor Francesco Moreno). Dolon said that the first part of the upgrade will be on the busiest stretch, namely between Los Balcones and the CV905, which has an average of 33 thousand vehicles a day.

GOODBYE PEPA

By Sally Bengtsson San Javier’s first female mayor, Pepa Garcia, died last Friday (January 16th). She led the PSOE socialist group when they were in power between2007 and to 2011, and her friendly, down to earth way of doing things engaged with peo­ ple in the area. She also seemed to have a smile on her face, and was one of the most popular mayors seen in the municipality. She was always willing to speak to the local British press, as she and her husband were also English teachers. The flags flew at half­mast last weekend in the area as the present mayor, Juan Martinez Pastor, said that her death was a big loss for San Javier. Pepa Garcia was still a serving councilor on the local authority.

BUTANO BANG

A couple in their eighties were injured after a leaking butano gas cylinder exploded at their home yesterday morn­ ing (Thursday). Neighbours helped to rescue a woman whilst firefighters pulled out a man from the rubble of his house at Raiguero de Poniente just off the N340 road on the Murcia/Alicante regional border. The man was airlifted to Murcia’s Virgen de la Arrixaca hospital burns unit with 35% body burns, whilst his wife was treated at a health centre in Orihuela City.

ELDERLY RESPITE

Benijófar is to get a new Day Care centre aimed at the eld­ erly members of the population. According to the Padron, 60% of the town’s population is aged over 65, and many of those are non­European led by the British. The facility will act as a respite centre for family members who care after their relatives and will include a number rooms as well as a dining area. The project will be housed at the existing building that houses the Medical Centre, Correos and the Foreign Residents office.

POOP PATROL TIME

Crevillente council is go high­tech in their war against dog dirt by using DNA mapping and new poop patrols to track down the reckless owners that allow their pooches to foul in public without cleaning up the mess. A new register will be drawn up in June, which will be compiled as dogs are given their annual rabies shots with owners having to pay a small fee so that a blood sample is taken to be registered for DNA purposes. It will be compulsory for owners to provide a blood sample of their animal, or face legal action for refusing.

Local police officers will then be ready to go on the offen­ sive in poop patrols as they will don plastic gloves to pick up fresh pieces of excrement in streets and parks that will be scientifically traced back as belonging to the dogs of selfish owners. The owners will then also have to pay for the DNA test as well as the fine for not picking up the faeces in the first place, with a new tariff scale being introduced as of January 2016. Xativa in Alicante Province already has a similar scheme in operation.

WRONG GEAR

A Moroccan motorist had a journey to forget around San Javier when his car ended up in the middle of the Tajo­ Segura channel through the town. The problems for 32 year old Mustafa EM didn’t end there, as he scrambled onto the roof of his vehicle and shouted for help. That assistance promptly came from the local police and the Guardia Civil, who then issued a denuncia against him for not being quali­ fied to drive in the first place.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

DOG BEATS MAN

A 30 year old Spaniard was arrested at a service area on the AP7 by the Guardia Civil for having one and a half kilos of drugs on him, after he tried to con a drug sniffing dog. The man from Barcelona was caught red­handed at the Santomera area on the Murcia/Alicante border as the officers noticed him looking somewhat nervous when they spotted him. They discovered hashish and marijuana (pictured) on him as well as a small amount that had been put in a bag as a decoy against the sniffer dog detecting the larger stash.

The dog wasn’t fooled as he smelt out the whole amount and the man was hauled before a Murcia magistrate.

FORGET IT

The number of strikes in Spain last year fell by nearly a quarter compared to figures for 2013, with a total of 959 walk­ outs. Even more dramatically, the number of hours lost to strikes in 2014 fell some 40.1% to 9.1 million according to the Confederation of Employers' Organizations.

SAN JAVIER BOOST

San Javier airport is set to benefit from new plans to increase services and passengers, after a series of poor monthly figures and that’s despite the fact that new Murcia International Airport opening sometime in the future at Corvera will lead to its closure. San Javier’s owners, AENA, say that they are planning to expand on existing markets that use the facilities, and do not want it centred solely on UK traffic.

Ideas in a marketing document seen by the La Verdad newspaper, suggest

a bigger push in creating domestic Spanish routes with possible new serv­ ices to the Canaries, Madrid and Barcelona, as well as a wider variety of carriers with more routes to the Nordic countries, Russia, and Germany. More advertising of San Javier is also planned. La Verdad says that the doc­ ument makes no mention of Corvera whatsoever, yet ironically AENA is expected to be one of the front­runners to bid to become the new service oper­ ator there once the franchise is re­

BULLISH RAJOY LAND GRAB REFUSED

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy says more jobs are going to be created in this country this year compared to earlier pre­ dictions. In an election year, Rajoy claimed in a weekend interview that Spain will have created one million jobs in two years by the end of 2015. This is up from the previous fore­ cast of 800,000 new jobs for the 2014 and 2015 period.

During the interview, the Spanish leader stuck to his two per cent growth forecast for 2015 and said that a total of 550,000 to 600,000 people would join Spain's workforce this year.

DOLE UP, BUT DOWN WELL I NEVER!

In a sign of an improving economy, traffic on Spain’s large­ ly bankrupt toll road system actually went up in 2014 for the first time in eight years. Figures show a 2.39% rise last year but it is still well down by over 31% from the pre­crisis days of a decade ago.

Spain's dole queues grew by 30,100 in last three months of 2014 but shrank by 477,900 over the whole of 2014, according to figures released yesterday. The total number of people out of work is 5,457,700, according to the national statistics agency. This put the country's official unemploy­ ment rate at 23.7%, just up from the 23.67% registered in the third quarter of 2014 and still one of the highest levels in the European Union. The fall was greater than what had been expected by the government, which had forecast the country would end 2014 with a jobless rate of 24.2% as the economic recovery gains pace.

The number of unemployed in the Valencia region includ­ ing the Costa Blanca fell by 98,900 in 2014 to 569,400. The Murcia region saw an annual fall of 9,800 people registered on the dole with an overall figure of people out of work stand­ ing at 196,900.

advertised by the Murcia government at the end of next month. If and when Corvera opens, San Javier will be closed down.

In a separate development, Patricio Valverde the chief executive of the pre­ vious Corvera concession holder Aeromur, has resigned from his post.

The company is still planning to take legal action against the Murcia authori­ ties for last month tearing up the multi­ million euro contract to run the new air­ port.

The Supreme Court have told San Pedro del Pinatar to get stuffed over their campaign to take land away from the area of Pilar de la Horadada council. The long­standing row revolves around half a million square metres of land marking the border at El Mojon between the two municipalities in the Murcia and Valencia regions, which has existed since 1756 and which was ratified again in 2009 by the Ministerio de Medio Ambiente, Rural y Marino. San Pedro council objected continually with an appeal in 2011 but reached the end of the road with the final Supreme Court verdict which was made in December and the findings made public this week. The appeal to the Court cost the council some four thousand euros and brings to an end a dispute that first surfaced in 2006, when the San Pedro mayor was involved in a symbolic “trespass” involving the movement of two boundary markers.

KENYA RULES

PIGGING OUT La Mata’s Plaza de Encarnación Puchol offered a meat feast on Sunday as the Torrevieja district celebrated the International Day of the Pig. It was the fifteenth such com­ memoration and 1,500 kilos of pork was gratefully consumed along with local wines, beer, and bread.

Over 8,200 runners took to the streets to take part in last Sunday’s Santa Pola Half­Marathon. Athletes of all standards and all ages competed in the event and it was a Kenyan dou­ ble with Vincent Yator winning the men’s race, with two of his countrymen in the next two places. Kenya’s Georgina Rono was the women’s victor.

Friday 23rd January 2015

ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

The feast day for animals, San Anton, was celebrated right across the area last weekend, with the traditional blessing of animals being one of the focal points. In Torrevieja, hundreds of pet owners took part in a small procession to the church of the Immaculate Conception, where the animals were blessed by Father Martínez Rocamora, who sprinkled holy water on cats and dogs as well as ferrets, parrots, and turtles amongst others!

BITTER LESSON

COLD DOGS

Three Romanian lemon rustlers aged in their mid­30’s from Almeria Province have been arrested by the Guardia Civil in Murcia and accused of stealing five tons of the citrus fruit from the Lorca area. The group have apparently been involved in fruit thefts from isolated farms right across the Murcia, Alicante, and Almeria areas.

Dogs and their owners took part in Pilar de la Horadada’s first Marcha Canina on Sunday from the Puente del Beso to Las Higuericas beach. Cold conditions didn’t put off the thirty participants with the walk being rounded off with the animals being given a run around the dog park that was built in 2013.

The number of flu cases in the Valencia region, including the Costa Blanca, has dou­ bled in the last week from 45 cases per 100 thousand of the population through to 86.9 cases. The biggest increase has come in chil­ dren aged under 14. Similar increases have also been recorded in the Murcia region.

Local traders and the San Pedro del Pinatar council have come together to put together a series of street displays in the area advertising local businesses. The per­ manent boards have been erected in 20 points in the San Pedro municipality with details of 86 businesses.

FLU UP

MIND YOUR BUSINESS

NOT SO HAPPY CAMPERS

Mobile home owners parked up on the Murcian coast have responded to The Courier arti­ cle last week over complaints about their alleged messy behaviour at places like Los Alcazares. Maggy, a British woman, who has been in Los Alcazares for the past few months, says that they are not a nuisance at all, adding that many of the owners actually pick up any rubbish left on the streets, rather than getting the blame for litter they themselves haven’t dropped. She says that all the other campers she knows are very clean, do not make a noise, and make a huge contribution to the economy of the area, shopping in local stores.

“Just ask the LIDL or DIA stores how much custom we bring them,” she added.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

MUM'S THE WORD FOR A LIGHT BITE

'I'LL tell you something, Dave,' I observed to Dave the barman at the pub the other evening. 'I just don't understand that woman I married. She says stuff that constantly baffles, bewilders and befuddles me.'

Dave the barman sighed. 'Have you been at the Thesaurus again? I mean just one of those B­ words would have sufficed.

It's no wonder you bore the

hell out of everyone.'

I slammed my fist down hard on the bar top. 'In that case, I'm going home. But before I depart, decamp and desert these pub premises, please answer me this: Why didn't my fist hurt when I

slammed it down hard on the bar top just now?'

'Because,' said Daft Barry, 'you happened to slam your fist down hard on my coleslaw sandwich which

was on top of the bar top.'

'I'll vouch for that,' said Indoor Lou who was stand­ ing next to Daft Barry and who had bits of splattered coleslaw dripping down his face.

'Enough!' cried Dave the barman. 'The next person who utters the words "bar top" will be ejected from these premises. All I've been hearing in the last minute or two are constant references to my bar top and the repeti­ tion is beginning to get on my already­overstretched nerves.'

We pub regulars cackled and pointed towards mein host. 'It's you, Dave, who is going to be thrown out of this hostelry forthwith because it was YOU who turned out to be the next person to utter the words "bar top." Does that mean you are going to eject your­ self? And how are you going to do it without doing your­ self an injury?'

Oh, how we laughed and laughed ­­ apart from Dave the barman, who was look­ ing increasingly embar­ rassed, and Indoor Lou who was still shedding shreds of

wet coleslaw onto the . . . er . . . bar top.

'How did all this start, any­ how?' asked Fearful Phil.

Everyone pointed at Daft Barry. 'It's all his fault,' we c h o ­

rused. 'Why does Daft Barry have to bring coleslaw sand­ wiches into the pub? It's not that he doesn't have enough to eat at home. His mother makes him the most gynor­ mous meals.'

Daft Barry looked down at his feet. 'I'm sorry, fellas,' he mumbled. 'My mother still worries that I'll go hungry when I'm not at home so she insists I take a packed lunch out with me after I've fin­ ished my lunchtime meal.'

'Then it's all Daft Barry's mother's fault,' we chorused, pointing in the general direc­ tion of Daft Barry's house.

Andromeda Arkwright, our newest pub discussion group member and the first female to grace us with her presence, raised her hand to speak. 'The trouble with you guys is that as men (and that's a debatable point) you have forgotten the impor­ tance of the mother in our society. A mum plays a vital role in the life of a child.'

There was a sentimental silence as we all thought about our mothers.

Then Fearful Phil shout­ ed: 'Hang on a minute! First we pin the blame

on Daft Barry for bringing in coleslaw sandwiches and then we fault his mum for preparing them. What about the idiot who destroyed today's culinary creation by slamming his fist down on it?'

Everyone pointed at me and chorused: 'It's Dave Silver's fault. Either we politely ask him to leave the pub this instant or we drag him out and have him shot!'

'Wait a moment!' I shrieked. 'I'm not to blame for all this bother. It was Mrs S who put me in this angry mood. We've been married for 40 years and yet I still haven't a clue what she's talking about most of the time.'

'Then it's all Mrs S's fault!' chorused the pub clientele who pointed in the direction of my house.

Andromeda Arkwright spoke again. 'Why are you pointing at your own house, Dave Silver? What a treach­ erous husband you have

turned out to be.'

But before I could defend my position as a coward who hides behind mob men­ tality, there was a kerfuffle

alongside us.

Dave the barman was on his knees, cradling the head of Indoor Lou who was lying prostrate on the floor.

'Someone fetch me the tweezers!' cried Dave. 'The poor guy has a piece of cab­ bage lodged up each nostril.

That exploding coleslaw caused more damage than I first thought.'

While Dave the barman performed the intricate task of clearing Indoor Lou's nose holes, another horizon­ tal figure lying beside Lou suddenly opened one rheumy peeper.

The oldest member of our group, Ol' Red Eyes, had been deep in his cus­ tomary coma when he caught sight of Dave the barman shoving a pair of tweezers up into Indoor Lou's proboscis.

'Yikes!' shrieked Ol' Red Eyes. 'Somebody call the police before Dave the bar­ man removes my brain, too. I'm not losing my mind for anyone!'

Friday 23rd January 2015

CABLE GUY BANNED

Almoradi council has declared war on telecommunications companies laying down fibre足 optic cables in their area without the necessary permission. Companies have been making installations leaving cables outside buildings especially when it had been previously agreed that works should be done underground in existing ducts. Neighbours complained to the council last week about damage to external walls in areas like Calle Mayor (pictured) as the companies made unscheduled installations余 work which has now been stopped by the authorities.

PUMPED UP

Pump prices across local filling stations have fallen by 14 per cent in the last two months due to the big drops in crude oil costs, meaning that sales across the Costa Blanca and Murcia areas have actually gone up by 10 per cent over the same period.

Surveys suggest that the cheapest diesel is in the Elche area with various stations charg足 ing 97.9 per litre at the time of going to press.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

BESTIALITY BANNED THE FULL LO MONTE

People who have sex with animals will face prison under a new law passed by the Spanish government, but they've ruled out punishing organisers of illegal shows in which animals are mistreated. Spain's Justice Commission said that bestiality would become punishable by up to one year in prison as part of a new law which will reform the penal code (Ley Orgánica de Reforma del Código Penal). The ruling came after more than 135,000 people signed a Change.org petition organized by

the non­profit animal rights group Observatorio Justicia y Defensa Animal.

A motion to ban bestiality was then filed by the Catalan Republican Left (ERC) party. But the commission infuriated animal rights supporters by ruling that although it would fine people who harmed animals in shows like cockfighting events, the organ­ isers of such shows would not face charges. It also ruled out punishing organ­ izers of organized public events that led to the death of animals.

Pilar de la Horadada’s Lo Monte camping site has won international recognition at the recent Fair Travel and Camping ADAC awards in Stuttgart, Germany. The ADAC awards recognise the best facilities for campers from around Europe with an independent jury choosing from a selection of around three thousand sites across the continent. Lo Monte hit the jackpot in the Accessibility awards, offering top facilities to disabled visitors, which made it doubly satisfying for a camp site that has only been open for three years.

ROOM OF FOOLS

SHOW RESPECT

Signs asking visitors to respect local wildlife have been put up by Pilar de la Horadada council around the Sierra Escalona and Dehesa de Campoamor areas. Five boards have been erected asking people to drive carefully to avoid hitting animals as well respecting various rare breeds of birds that have made the area their home.

NAUGHTY BOY

A 10 year­old boy faked his own kidnap because had not done his homework, and was forced by his parents to tell the truth to the police. The youngster, from Salou, was found tied up to a lamp post by two girls walking their dogs. His "kidnap" caused widespread alarm in the area, especially among parents who feared children may be the target of similar inci­ dents. The boy's parents contacted the police when their son did not return from school after class ended, given that he lives just a few metres from the school and normally walks there himself.

He told his 'rescuers' that he had been kidnapped but 'did not remember anything about it.' They took him to hospital to be examined, where there was no evidence of abuse. Once back home, the boy's conscience began to prick and he admitted to his parents that he had made up the story because he had not done his homework and was frightened of getting into trouble. He was taken straight to the police station where they made him explain himself about the lies he had told.

“ABSURD” PLANS RUBBISHED

Spain’s Council of State says that opposes plans to dramatically cut driving speed limits on the country’s roads as proposed by the DGT road traffic authority. Single­carriageway roads in non­built­up areas, currently with speed limits of 90 or 100 kilometres per hour, could reduce to 50km/h, which is 'too much of a radical slowdown', would 'change the face of trans­ port systems' and 'considerably increase the time needed to get anywhere', the Council’s report states.

Plans to apply speed limits to cyclists and pedestrians and to breathalyse and drug­test walkers have also been branded as 'absurd' by the Council of State. Pedestrians found to be over the drink­drive limit, even if they are not driving, or who refuse to be breathalysed or drug­tested can face fines of up to one thousand euros. The Council says this is 'ridiculous' and will lead to practically everyone boycotting fiestas, weddings or parties in case they are caught 'drink­walking' home.

Opposition members of the central government have backed the Council of State, saying the DGT's proposed new rules are 'erratic and contradictory', with no evidence to show they are necessary, and agreed purely by votes from the PP government with every other party abstaining or voting against. As the PP government is in the majority, it does not need sup­ port from the opposition to push through new laws, however unpopular these are with the other political parties.

60 per cent of people sitting an exam in northern Spain failed it, despite the question paper already having all the answers on it already! Last December, 120 people took an exam for a job at a retirement home in the city of Castro Urdiales in Cantabria. The candidates were in luck though, as the examining body had given them all the answers to the 30 questions that were part of the job­entry exam. Even though they were handwritten on the sheet, the vast majority of the people sitting the test must have thought someone was calling their bluff as they promptly failed the paper. As a consolation, one of the candidates told the examiners about their glaring mistake, leading them to schedule a fresh sitting for everybody.

Friday 23rd January 2015

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Friday 23rd January 2015

LOCAL LOOK-IN

GROUP BOOST ALMOST THERE FOR ALICIA

San Fulgencio’s local school and theatre are better off to the tune of one thousand euros thanks to the efforts of the Stagestruck Theatre Group. The money was raised by Stagestruck’s festive show,”Panto Pensioners Save Christmas”, with 800 euros going to the theatre for a new backstage tannoy system and improving the movement of the stage cur­ tains. 200 euros was handed over to the school to help non­Spanish children with extra les­ sons to learn the Spanish language.

The group’s spring show is a kind of greatest hits collection called ”An Evening with Stagestruck” which will feature some of the most popular songs and sketches from past shows like Ancient Grease and Jack & The Beanstalk.

Ticket information will be released shortly with the group eyeing up early May for the shows at the Cardenal Belluga Theatre in San Fulgencio.Murder Mystery Nights can also be organ­ ised by Stagestruck to help earn money for any charity and for details send an E­mail to jim­ bryn@hotmail.com.

LIONS PRIDE

Festive fund­raising from the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club has enabled them to hand over 2,800 euros to the local ALPE Torrevieja charity, who are after equipping a sen­ sory room for their students.

ALPE is a social and educa­ tional organisation for dis­ abled children and young adults.

Lions President Iain Bennett accompanied by Lions Peter and Polly Long were delighted when they were invited to attend a cele­ bratory get together at ALPE along with other groups last Tuesday. ALPE President Fina Sala got the donation from the Lions and thanked everyone concerned for all their continuing support.

A single mother and her son are well on their way to beating off an eviction order on their Torrevieja area apartment. The local English­speaking community have rallied to help Alicia Garcia and her nine­year­old son Angel after a fire at their Los Altos home two years ago, which left her with a bill of over four thousand euros for damage caused to a neighbour’s property.

Because she was uninsured, the insurance company issued a court summons for her to appear last month which could have led to her eviction as well as her son being put into care.

The court date was postponed once the company heard about the fund­raising, which now totals over 3,200 euros, including 650 euros raised by fund­raiser Kathleen Vahey. The final target is 4,378 euros, with the appeal being supported by the charity Help at Home Costa Blanca; The Courier; and members of the local International Christian Assembly church.

Future fund raising events include a bucket collection at the afternoon Music of the Night concert at the Orihuela Costa Resort on Saturday January 31st(as reported in last week’s edition of The Courier), and a Fun Day Finale event on Wednesday February 25th at the Emerald Isle, La Florida.

OPERA’S BEST LOVE STORY

MOVIE TIME

English­speaking ex­pats will be delighted to learn there´s a new cine­ ma for them ­ showing films in their native language. It´s in Pilar de la Horadada and has been opened after enthusiasts have set up a new not for profit Association. A wide range of films will be shown, twice weekly, on a Thursday at 7.00 pm and a Saturday at 5.00 pm. For example, last week’s movie was the latest Scarlett Johansson hit, Lucy. More details can be found: ­ on www.facebook.com/cin­ emapilar or www.cinemapilar:blogspot.com.es or you can contact the organiser Tish by email on lah.hh29@gmail.com. You can be put on a mailing list and sent details of forthcoming attractions soon after the programme has been decided upon.

Opera fans are set for a treat as Opera San Miguel are set to present two abridged per­ formances of Verdi’s La Traviata at the town’s Casa de Cultura early next month, and it’s going to be done in quick time under the watchful eyes of husband and wife team, Tom and Katy Pargeter. In just five days, with the use of narration, the company will rehearse and final­ ly perform the completely staged and costumed work. Rehearsals start on Sunday February 1st and the performances take place on the following Friday and Saturday evenings at 7.30pm (February 6th and 7th).

Over the years, more and more singers have come along to join the rehearsal workshops, and 2015 is no exception, with the biggest cast to date, many of whom travel especially from the UK. Tickets will cost just five euros and are available in San Miguel from The Tourist Office behind the church, and from Bargain Books directly opposite. They can also be reserved by phoning 659 616 356.

Friday 23rd January 2015

11

LOCAL LOOK-IN STEP RIGHT IN

Local youngsters of all ages will get a warm welcome from Stepping­Stones which is a Sunday School attached to Torrevieja’s La Siesta Evangelical Church. Run by former school­ teacher, Gill Gray, Stepping­Stones meets on the second and fourth Sunday of the month at 11.00am in the church before heading off to the Round House in the church grounds.

MONEY ANYBODY?

The “Ladies Who Lunch” group want to give money to needy local causes and it could be your charity! They meet every month in various restaurants to have a good time, but they cru­ cially raise money for local charity. They currently support the Paul Cunningham Nurses and other groups who need financial help with getting equipment and items. Any group can make contact with “Ladies Who Lunch”, so don’t hesitate to make contact with Janine Williams on 966 261 359 or Maddie Pinfold on 966 078 646.

BARCENAS BAILED

The High Court has agreed to the release on bail the ex­treasurer of the ruling Popular Party, Luis Bárcenas, who is currently being investigated on corruption charges. Bail has been set at 200 thousand euros, with Bárcenas, the treasurer of the PP from 1990 to 2009, being remanded in custody in June 2013 after an investigating judge warned he posed a flight risk and could destroy evi­ dence in relation to his involvement in the so­called 'Caso Gürtel corruption case.

The ex­money man for the PP is charged with money laundering and tax fraud among other crimes as part of an investigation into a group of Spanish businessmen who organ­ ized PP events in exchange for

kickbacks. The move to jail the ex­treasurer came in the wake of revelations that Bárcenas held more money in Swiss accounts than was originally suspected.

Public prosecutors are currently seeking 42 and a half years' prison for Bárcenas in relation to the Gurtel Case for crimes includ­ ing tax fraud and money laundering. In a separate case, Bárcenas also claims to have managed an illegal slush for the PP, making under­the­table payments to top party figures over several years, with Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy being accused by Bárcenas of being one of the beneficiaries.

Rajoy has strenuously denied the allega­ tions.

THIEF’S GARAGE HAUL

An electrician at the Santiago de Compostela cathedral has appeared in court after being charged with stealing a priceless 12th century Codex Calixtinus, the first guidebook for pilgrims undertaking the reli­ gious pilgrimage to the northern city. Manuel Fernández Castiñeiras admitted to stealing the priceless artefact in 2011 after investiga­ tors found the volume inside his garage, wrapped in a bin bag and surrounded by rub­ bish. But now his trial lawyers are arguing that he was forced into making a confession and that the investigating judge was not impartial The defence also claim that police acted illegally by beginning their search for the codex before they had the necessary permission, installing microphones in the suspect’s flat.

The valuable tome was kept in a cathedral safe under somewhat lax security, according to the El País newspaper and that there was only one security guard deployed at any one time due to keeping costs down. The Codex Calixtinus contains advice for pilgrims under­

taking the famous Camino de Santiago (Way of Saint James) as well as liturgies and reports on miracles performed by Saint James, and is thought to be the world’s first tourist guide.

The Codex was not the only surprise awaiting the investigators who searched the 60­year­old electrician’s home in mid­2012; they also discovered nearly two million euros stashed away in the garage, along with 300 thousand euros that they believe Fernández Castiñeiras had been stealing from the cathedral over the years. Investigators knew there was an additional 600 thousand euros somewhere, according to El País, because Fernández Castiñeiras had kept detailed records of everything he had taken from the cathedral, circling the amount he had taken each year (2004, 2005 and 2006) in red.

Castiñeiras, who worked at the cathedral for over 25 years, was in court on Monday accompanied by his wife and son, who are accused of money laundering and receiving stolen goods.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

SPIRITS HELP PHOENIX Last week I wrote about Phoenix, the dog who was beat­ en with shovels and buried alive. He is now with us and will be a sanctuary dog and live out the rest of his days with us. He is an old boy, but thank God, he is showing signs of improving each day. He has been eating fresh food, cooked daily by my wife Jean and he is now drink­ ing on his own. We do physiotherapy with him every day, because when he first came to us ten days ago, he could not stand and could not walk. Yesterday he walked a few feet and stood on his own, so after the ten days of being with us, we are really pleased with his progress. He still needs a catheter to go to the toilet, but I am doing this for him now and he is simply a beautiful and gentle giant. He was almost certainly tied up for all of his life, as his muscles are virtually non­existent and most of his teeth are now just stumps, from chewing rocks.

His road of recovery ahead will consist of daily physiotherapy, hydrotherapy, an MRI scan and intensive daily care. I can now see that he is happy and that means the world. He has shown his will to live and to get through the terrible ordeal he went through. We live in a world where the level of evil that humans are now showing, not only to animals but to each other, is becoming worryingly dark and sick. To beat a dog with shov­ els is one thing, but to then carry out the task of burying him alive is just beyond my comprehension. He stayed buried for two to three days and if it was not for that pocket of air going to his nose, he would no longer be here.

DANI

Each day he now wakes, he is eating the best food money can buy and he is receiving so much love, not only from us but from people around the world who have read this story and been horrified. There are many people sending him love and best wishes and we really do believe that he will go on to make a complete recovery.

I just cannot wait for the day when I can take him for a walk. He is a Mastin cross dog and is huge. When you stroke his fur, it reveals a beautiful golden colour underneath. He is an inspiration to many people and the daily videos I put out

on Facebook about his progress have become the highlight of the day for many people. When they watched him taking his first steps on the internet, there were so many tears of joy, it was amazing. He has an army of a fan club out there willing him on each and every day. His eyes are getting brighter and you can now see a little twinkle in them.

For those of you who believe in spirituality and spirits, then this week has simply been very special. Each video, which I recorded to progress Phoenix’s recovery were filled with orbs. I have never seen anything like it in my life. Not just one orb, but many. At one point, in one of the videos, I kissed Phoenix twice on The one and only Phoenix his head. On the second kiss, two orbs appeared just above our heads.

I like to think it is the spirit of my beautiful Mum, who passed away six months ago. Mum, like me was a huge animal lover and as well as all the intensive care he is getting from us, I know that part of his recovery is down to my Mum, who watches over him.

Thank you dearly to everyone for your donations. www.thedogyouneed.com is a regis­ tered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charity registration number is 1157175.

If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you.

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? given a 100% clean bill of health but will always suf­ fer some psychological problems from being so traumatised.

He has

Brothers Billy (pictured) and Bobby have grown up from puppies in the APAH kennels and although they are large dogs, they are both soft and friendly.

They both deserve a lov­ ing home, but have never been offered one. Is one of them for you? To meet them, call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

BILLY Gorka is a small 11 month old male cross­ breed who was thrown over the fence of the ken­ nels back in September.

CALLING ALL ANIMAL CHARITIES...

Please send details of Dogs or Cats needing a home to office@thecourier.es We try to feature as many as we can each week.

We also love hearing about the animals featured here!

GORKA

LIGHTNING

He is a happy, lively and healthy little boy who is now fully vaccinated, micro chipped and cas­ trated. Please call the kennels on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimal­ rescue.com for an appointment or for more information.

If you are looking for a cat or kitten like Lightening, APAH has lots of beautiful affectionate cats and kittens living in its Cattery, many of whom have never known a lov­ ing home. Could you be

someone who could change a life forever? To visit the APAH Cattery, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Paco is a beautiful Podenco who has been very badly traumatised and needs a very special home. Ideally it would be a lady on her own who has lots of patience and time to spend with him.

He is better on his own although he is friendly and loves to play with other dogs. He recently had a vet check and was

PACO been at Amber Lodge Kennels a long time and feels safe and secure but he needs one to one care now to really bring him on and build his confidence in himself. If you would like to meet PACO please call Linda from the Animal Aid Association on 965 725 794 or Amber Lodge on 680 856 235.

Friday 23rd January 2015

13

IT’S ALL GREEK FOR RAJOY

What a year we have coming up in Spain, with a general election as well as regional and local votes that will have all political beasts getting themselves into a frenzy. For Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, it looks like the game is up, unless something dramatic happens, and he’s likely to get a sneak preview this Sunday over in Greece. That’s when the country goes to the polls and seems certain to hand a victory to the newish left­wing anti­bail out party, Syriza. Here in Spain, we have the new left­wing Podemos grouping that are riding high in the various opinion surveys, and that must be giving Rajoy sleepless nights. He even went to Greece last week to pledge support for their current right of centre government there and warned about the dangers of people turning their backs on austerity measures.

That was a bold move and a break in the unwritten rule of European politics that you don’t interfere in other countries, espe­ cially in the middle of an election campaign! But that is the measure of how worried Rajoy is by the threat of Podemos, and how a Greek election victory this weekend by Syriza would put an even stronger spring of the steps of the new Spanish upstarts. Towards the end of last year, one or two ruling Partido Popular officials started

flying the unthinkable kite that they might even do some kind of a deal after the next election with the opposition socialist PSOE to keep Podemos out of power! There’s not much chance of that and though there was some very quick back­ tracking, it was a clear sign of panic in the PP camp. And

that’s before we see what happens with a number of high profile corruption cases that may or may not drag Rajoy and the PP further into the mire.

I feel that irrespective of what the PP and PSOE do over the next few months, many people have made up their minds that they want to give the “discredited” Spanish political estab­ lishment a real hiding at the polls.

Podemos fits the bill, yet if you examine some of their policies, they just don’t make any sense. But that is not the point. To a much lesser extent, UKIP are doing the same in Britain.

Questioned by pollsters, future Podemos voters said they were not really aware of their programme or that they disagreed with their policies, but they were really not that bothered! The massive reason for voting Podemos was that they were determined to teach the old guard of the PP and the PSOE a lesson, and this week they were clev­ erly down­playing their chances by sug­ gesting they would be happy with being the official opposition to a new govern­ ment. We’ll get a preview of how well Podemos will do in May’s local and regional elections, and then that leaves the PP with a very big question to ponder. Do they remove Rajoy in a desperate pre­election gamble, or they wait for the almost certain defeat before the end of the year before letting him resign?

Or is there life in the old dog yet?

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Friday 23rd January 2015

JUDGE IN JAILBAIT FOLLY

PARENTS should expect

their children to be able to go to school and not be sexually molested by over­ sexed or "emotionally damaged" teachers. Down the generations we´ve heard of Lolitas seducing all and sundry, and in my youth, sexually­active under­age girls were called by us lads as jail­ bait. Quite clearly it was jailbait who besotted 44­ year­old religious studies teacher Stuart Kerner and led him to de­flower her...a 16­year­old pupil in his care. She was a virgin when they first had sex on a yoga mat in a cleaning cupboard at the school in Bexleyheath, Kent. It pro­ gressed into an 18­month affair, the talk of the school, and it was not sur­ prising it ended with an appearance in court.

Kerner was found guilty on charges of sexual activity with a child by an adult in a position of trust.

Probably, in his heart of hearts, Kerner believed he would be serving a lengthy jail sentence if found guilty.

But he appeared before Judge Joanna Greenberg who obviously felt sorry for him for having to suffer the advances of the modern­day Lolita. She decided that Kerner was 'emotionally fragile' at the time, due to the fact that his wife had miscar­ ried their second child. It was the pupil who was primarily at fault, a girl who was 'obsessed' and 'besotted' with him. It was she who had 'groomed' the teacher, the judge decided, not the other way around! Her remarks have sent waves of indigna­ tion throughout Britain and she’s going to be investigat­ ed by the Judicial Conduct Investigations Office for what she said for giving Kerner just a suspended

sentence. Yes, I can accept a 16­year­old girl is more than capable of grooming a boy of similar age or younger. But what has hap­

Greenberg became a judge only last year. Perhaps she needs a bit more training.

Sadly, the Attorney General cannot intervene over

three houses but spend most of their time together, with many claiming they are too sick to work. Despite receiving £740 a month in

It is the Kerrigans and the many thousands like them, who are costing Britain far more than is necessary in welfare payments ­ and for

pened here is that the girl tempted Kerner and he fell for that temptation and took full advantage of it. Here is a man who quite clearly should have known better.

He was a teacher in a posi­ tion of trust, but more impor­ tantly he was a teacher of religion who turned his back on everything he studied in the Bible ­ like so many peo­ ple of the cloth have done in the past. What I don't under­ stand is why a judge — a woman judge in particular — would conclude that a girl who was only 15 when she first became close to the teacher, must shoulder some of the culpability for what happened. Even at a time when children are sexu­ alised to a distressing extent, how can the groom­ ing blame be hers? Miss

Kerner's suspended sen­ tence for being too soft, as the particular crime does not fall under the unduly lenient sentence scheme. Why crackpot lawyers preclude certain crimes from being reviewed beats me.

EET the Kerrigans (pic­ tured). They cost the taxpay­ er £50,000 a year in benefits and reportedly have hardly lifted a finger in their lives, but they can still afford to blow their cash on designer trainers and mopeds. This extended Sheffield family claim tens of thousands of pounds in benefits for their taxpayer­funded lives and insist they are simply getting what they are entitled to.

Most of them have never worked, but still say they should be given more money. This family of three generations live between

benefits herself, mother­of­ five Rose Kerrigan, 52, believes people do not get enough state hand­outs.

She has not held down a full­ time job in decades and admits that she does 'nowt'.

She and the remainder of the Kerrigans appeared in the Channel 5 documentary called My Big Benefits Family. She said: "I think it's pathetic, I'll be honest with you. This is why people go out pinching and shoplifting because they can't live on benefits. If they got enough benefits they wouldn't need to go out and do things like that." Robert Kerrigan, Rose's nephew, spends a significant portion of his ben­ efits on buying himself designer trainers and main­ taining his three mopeds.

This is the perfect example of what´s wrong with Britain.

what? To keep the family in complete idleness. It´s a vicious circle, because if their benefits are cut, they are tempted to commit crimes to fund their lifestyles. Then they are arrested, convicted and spend more time in prison at the public expense. We´ve had too many years of suc­ cessive governments being too soft on the likes of the Kerrigans. TV shows like My Big Benefits Family get right up the noses of taxpayers who have to fund these peo­ ple and that might get a gov­ ernment elected which will make a real difference. It should be compulsory view­ ing!

HE entire Arab world´s press was quick last week to defend Mohammad, Islam and condemn the insulting of religions and religious fig­ ures ­ especially, of course, their own, in the aftermath of the atrocities in the Paris offices of the satirical maga­ zine Charlie Hebdo. In most of the ´civilised´ world, peo­ ple can criticise political leaders and ridicule them. It happens on TV, the press, in meetings and down the pub.

But why is it that when it comes to religion we all have to tip­toe so as not to offend?

As I said in last week´s column, there are many reli­ gious beliefs around the world and they can´t all be right. Debate by television is the new political fashion, so why not have religious lead­ ers on the podium and let the viewers decide and also

M

T

let them prove their particu­ lar religion against non­ believers. Let us hope that something positive can come of the recent killings.

That could be a realisation that humanity cannot go on with a multitude of religious beliefs at odds with each other, each believing they are right and others are wrong, and with ordinary people bewildered, con­ fused, and liable to be radi­ calised because of all the conflictions. Surely that is worth working for ­ to enable millions of people to be able to live in peace ­ and save countless lives. Finally on the subject of religious ter­ rorism, I was impressed by the views of UKIP leader Nigel Farage, who said mass immigration had "made it frankly impossible for many new communities to integrate". "We do have, I'm afraid, I'm sad to say, a fifth column that is living within our own countries, that is utterly opposed to our values," he said. "We're going to have to be a lot braver and a lot more coura­ geous in standing up for our Judeo­Christian culture." His remarks came before the Belgian arrest of Muslims attempting alleged mass outrages against police sta­ tions and police officers.

HERE was more eco­ nomic good news for Britain last week ­ that inflation had fallen to 0.5% in December, the joint lowest on record and it´s likely to drop further as lower oil prices feed through the economy.

Remember all the clap trap from Labour about how wage rises were rising lower than inflation? They were banging on about that month after month ­ a boring long­ playing record. Did you notice the complete silence from Labour this month?

They´ve lost yet another plank to try to score points against the Coalition govern­ ment, because wages are now rising faster than infla­ tion, making people in work better off. We´re seeing petrol and diesel prices falling at the pumps and we´re beginning to see ener­ gy companies dropping prices too. There´s one industry I would really like to see bring prices down big time and that´s grossly over­ priced cosmetics. Women have been paying through the nose for smellies and other women´s stuff, some of which are by­products of oil. If women were to boycott them for just a few weeks it would make a huge differ­ ence in prices.

T

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Friday 23rd January 2015

Just before Christmas my son and I were looking for a present for another child when my boy noticed a toy guitar on the shelf. He seemed very interested in it and so I decided to buy him one for his seasonal gift. As he opened it on Christmas morning, his eyes lit up and it wasn´t long before we were on the internet check­ ing out ´how to play the gui­ tar´ videos on YouTube. He showed a real interest in learning how to play this instrument and so I started to search around to see if there was anyone who could teach him. Whilst browsing on Facebook I noticed a post from Miguel Tomás, a guitar teacher offering one­ to­one lessons in your own home and this was ideal for me as I don´t have much free time and so I sent him a message asking about the classes.

After a short chat it was arranged that the best time for him to come would be Saturday afternoons. So a couple of weeks ago he turned up for the first time with two guitars and sat

STRUMMING FUN

down with my son to begin the lessons. Miguel is of course Spanish but he speaks perfect English, and so began the les­ son with my son in my native lan­ guage, however as I watched the first interaction between the two, I realised that Spanish would be the way to go for my boy and explained this to Miguel. It´s hard sometimes for a child to understand a foreign person talking in the child´s native tongue, I have noticed this several times with my son and some of my students, so, Spanish was the best language for the classes. If I was to have tuition from Miguel I´ve no doubt that I´d be better in English and I know he would have no problem with that!

I don´t want to sit and watch the lessons as I am

can also play an instrument are among the most con­ scientious and hard­ working in her classes, and importantly I also think that it teaches self­disci­ pline. I just hope that my young man continues to have fun learning and that he can become a proficient gui­

worried about making them both feel uncomfortable, so I put on my earphones and do housework or whatever needs to be done. There are moments however when I have a listen and I hear the way Miguel teaches. He has a very calm voice and is always giving praise and encouragement. I know that my son is very comfortable with him and what´s more, he´s really enjoying the classes. Of course he wants

to learn, which helps, but the fact that he likes Miguel is a big bonus.

I can´t help feel a huge sense of pride when I see my little fella sat on the sofa with a guitar under one arm plucking away at the strings showing a genuine interest in learning. I really hope this may help him in all parts of his education, and not just with the music. My music teacher student tells me that the pupils in her school that

tarist.

Miguel learnt English working in the UK in several jobs including playing in a Latin jazz band and a folk band which was called ´Young Causeway´, as well as recording some tracks for various singers. He is also one half of a duo called ´Ayla and Mike Acoustic´, and do check out their Facebook page or their web details at: www.costablan­ cadirectory.co.uk/listing/gui­

tar­lesson­gigs­miguel­ tomas. Ayla´s strong emo­ tional voice perfectly accom­ panies Miguel´s expert gui­ tar playing, and I especially like their rendition of the Sting song, ´Fields of Gold´ which is conveyed with amazing feeling, moving you emotionally as you listen along, seeing them live would be a treat for anyone.

Maybe you will make a decision this year to learn an instrument and what could be cooler than the guitar. It´s easy to carry and fits in with every party, as you strum along leading the chorus and having a great time. If you do decide to go for it then I highly recommend Miguel. I hope my son con­ tinues to learn and improve, and for me it´s amazing how much he´s remembered in such a short time, and I know the time will come when he´s asking for his own proper instrument!

Even if you´re in two minds about learning to play one I would say ´go for it!´ If my seven year olds son can learn to play one, then so can you.

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Friday 23rd January 2015

Spanish 155 Hola, and welcome back to another week of learning Spanish. Here are the answers to last week´s revision, check carefully, paying particular attention to those you got wrong and also those you weren´t sure about, if you have any doubts or questions you can always contact me via The Courier, and I´ll be happy to answer your queries. Also let me know if there is anything you would like me to cover in a future edition of this column. Remember these are your classes, they´re 100% free and my reason for writing is to help you learn the language, therefore if there´s any­ thing you want to learn, let me know. Here´s the fun bit while you check all your hard work has paid off.

I want to go to the shop tomorrow but I don´t have time – quiero ir a la tienda mañana pero no tengo tiempo, If I have to see her I will see her next week – si tengo que verla la veré la semana que viene, I hope you have a good week – espero que tengas una buena semana, There isn´t much time – no hay mucho tiempo, what do you want to do tomorrow morning? ­ ¿qué quieres hacer mañana por la mañana? Don´t touch – ¡no toque! I´ve done it – lo he hecho, I´m going to study more this year than last – voy a estudiar más este año que el año pasado, the cat is sitting on my lap – el gato está sentado en mi regazo, what are you going later? ­ ¿qué estás haciendo más tarde? Do you want to go to the park? ­ ¿quieres ir al parque? How many brothers and sisters do you have? ­ ¿cuántos hermanos tienes? It is very hot in Spain – hace mucho calor en España, I am really looking forward to going to London next month – tengo muchas ganas ir a londres el próximo mes, I stayed at home – me quedé en casa, put it there! ­ ¿póngalo allí! I play the piano but not the guitar – yo toco el piano pero la guitarra no, I don´t want you to go without me – ¡no quiero que vayas sin mi! when you came to visit me yesterday you left your book – cuando viniste a visi­ tarme ayer, dejaste tu libro, I doubt that he could have done it – dudo que él pueda haberlo hecho.

Voy _a_ Madrid en dos semanas, __según__ mi hijo soy

guapa (according to), vosotros sois __de__ Inglaterra, no puedo vivir __sin_ comida, esta mesa está hecho __de__ madera, voy a la playa ___con__ mis amigos (with), mi familia van a estar aquí _hasta__ sábado (until), ¿vives __en__ España? Vamos __a_ las cuatro (at), No he comi­

do ___desde__ ayer (since), está ___tras__ la puerta (behind), lo necesito _para_ mañana (by), yo vivo en una casa ___entre_ el campo de futbol y el supermercado (between), el perro está ___bajo__ la mesa (under), hay mucha gente __en__ esta ciudad (in), este regalo es __para_ ti (for), “Othello” fue escrito __por_ Shakespeare, vivía en España __desde__ 2005 hasta 2010, necesita­ mos una habitación __por__ tres días, hace cinco grados __bajo_cero, este fin de semana Real Madrid juega __contra_ el Barcelona, Pedro escondió su dinero ___debajo del__ colchón (under).

Ya las respuestas, ¿muy o mucho?

Tengo ____muchos__amigos, estoy __muy_cansado, en España hay __mucha__gente que no habla inglés, mi amigo es __muy_bajo, estamos aquí desde hace ___mucho__tiempo, este perro es __muy_ bonito, tienes ___mucha__razón, mi colegio está ___muy_lejos de aquí, mi coche es __mucho__ más rápido que el tuyo, no tengo _mucho__ tiempo, Yo vivo __muy_ cerca de aquí, Ahora elije el adjetivo correcto: María está __cansa­ da__, mis hermanos son __altos__, mis primas son __her­ mosas__, esta ciudad es muy __fea__, mi mesa es _pequeña__, su piso está __ordenado___, mis padres son ___ingleses_, la ciudad de México es una de las más __grandes_ ciudades del mundo, este vestido es ____amarillo__, todos tus respuestas están __correc­ tas__.

Elije la respuesta correcta entre bien y bueno/buena etc. Recuerda que bien en general significa “well” y bueno, etc significa “good” Tú hablas español muy __bien__, ella es una ___buena__ amiga, ayer vimos una ___buena_ película, somos __buenos_ amigos, no te preocupes, todo está __bien_, esa es __buenas__ noticias, esta canción es _buena__, ¡pórtate ___bien__! “¿cómo estás?” “estoy _bien__ gracias” Acabe cada frase con la respuesta más lógica: ej: te voy a ver __mañana__ (mañana, ayer, nunca): Ya lo hice __antes__, lo voy a hacer __pronto_, tu amigo llegó muy _tarde_, tienes que hacerlo __ahora_ mismo, no lo sé __todavía__, __anoche_ lo vi andando con su perro, ___nunca_ he visto a un hombre tan alto, te voy a visitar __mañana_.

I hope you managed to get most of them correct and as ever those that you got wrong I hope you know why! Have a great week, keep learning and get in touch with any stories you may have about learning Spanish. You may have tips for your fellow readers, or in fact anything Spain related. I love hearing from you all, so have a great week, ¡hasta la próxima!

Friday 23rd January 2015

17

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Friday 23rd January 2015

Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January 2015

CAN YOU COMPLETE THESE DINGBATS?

1.

6.

11.

2.

7.

12.

3.

8.

13.

4.

9.

14.

5.

10.

15.

answers in next weeks edition

Last Weeks Answers: 1) Sydney Opera House 2) Stonehenge 3) Eiffel Tower 4) Angel of the North 5) Taj Majal 6) The White House 7) The Sphinx 8) Colosseum 9) Statue of Liberty 10) Ayers Rock 11) Houses of Parliment 12) Forgotten City 13) Leaning Tower of Pisa 14) Great Wall of China 15) Brandenburg Gate

TRELI ON THE TELLY BROADCHURCH BLUES

aspects that stretch credi­ bility to the extreme.

Despite top q u a l i t y actresses like Charlotte Has the Broadchurch bub­ Rampling and ble burst? It’s always said M a r i a n n e that a second series of a hit Jean­Baptiste drama is the acid test of playing rival whether we could be in for a barristers, the long­term success, and last realism of year, we got Line of Duty, Broadchurch, The Fall, and Peaky Blinders which was a all improving on their first great strength outings, which is saying in the first something. Don’t get me series, has wrong. I’ve quite enjoyed disappeared, what I’ve seen of along with the Broadchurch so far, but it UK viewers hasn’t given me the same who seem to the hold of waiting anxiously for prefer the next episode. I can’t quite pretty routine put my finger on it, and per­ p r o c e d u r a l haps it could be the sub­plot plodding of Silent Witness involving David Tennant’s over on BBC1. Who would character Alex Hardy acting have thought that at the start as a minder for Claire Ripley of January?

What’s the biggest BBC in the wake of an abduction case, as well as other drama export after Doctor

with ALEX TRELINSKI

an added surprise of Marc Warren playing a poshly­spo­ ken villain, far removed from his “Jack the Lad” charac­ ters in Hustle and Mad Dogs. It’s far more enter­ taining than Benidorm which wel­ comed back J o h n n y Vegas last week (but not surprisingly has lost one and a half million view­ ers over Who? It’s The Musketeers, seem to like it is the UK, and three weeks), with Vegas which makes big bucks for that’s a mystery to me. It being given a rubbish plot for the Beeb and is screened in really is stylishly made good his efforts. It’s sadly time to over 100 countries, including fun and the second series on bury the show, alongside the on TVE here in Spain. In fact, a Friday night (resting tonight wretched Stars in their Eyes, because of the FA Cup) has which folded like a pack of the only country that doesn’t

cards like Saturday, not even managing half the viewers of Splash a year ago. What a disaster!

Best laughs of the week come from Count Arthur Strong, buried away on a late evening BBC1 Tuesday night schedule. Co­created by Graham “Father Ted” Linehan and Steve Delaney (who plays the title role), the show revolves around the life of an ageing Yorkshire vari­ ety star, and his pompous writing friend, wonderfully played by Rory Kinnear. It first saw the day as a hit Radio 4 comedy before appearing on BBC2 last year.

It’s fair to say that is an acquired taste, which I’ve enjoyed getting. The inter­ play between Delaney and Kinnear is a delight and there are always half a dozen cracking lines in each pro­ gramme, marred only by the gross overuse of canned laughter (again!!). Give it a go and you may be surpris­ ingly entertained.

20

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

FRIDAY

23rd JANUARY

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Match of the Day Live 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 The Super­Rich and Us 01:20 International Bowls 02:20 Panorama 02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Making Art Work: First Idea to Final Piece 06:00 Schools: Your Paintings 06:30 Schools: Your Paintings 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 09:20 Channel Patrol 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Food & Drink 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live International Bowls 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Food & Drink 22:00 The Big Allotment Challenge 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:10 Kids Behind Bars 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Knocked Up

00:00 24 Hours in Police Custody 01:05 Caught on Camera 02:00 One Born Every Minute 02:55 Weighing Up the Enemy 03:50 Food Unwrapped 04:15 Dispatches 04:45 SuperScrimpers 05:40 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Face the Clock 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Car SOS 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Jamie and Jimmy's Friday Night Feast 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 The Last Leg

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Benefits 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Scientists 05:50 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Client Seduction 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Race to the Pole 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

00:00 EastEnders 00:30 Family Guy 01:35 Bangkok Airport 02:30 Crims 03:00 Don't Drop the Baby 04:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 04:30 Crims 05:00 Close 20:00 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide 20:15 Doctor Who 21:00 Excluded: Kicked Out of School 22:00 Tough Young Teachers 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

00:35 Hidden Killers

00:10 Cockroaches

00:00 Law & Order: UK

01:35 Horizon

00:40 Two and a Half Men

01:05 The Count of Monte

02:35 Top of the Pops: 1980

01:35 Dads

Cristo

03:15 Sounds of the Sixties

02:05 Animal Practice

03:20 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:45 Constable: A Country

02:25 Fake Reaction

03:30 Teleshopping

Rebel

03:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:00 Rising Damp

04:40 Close

03:25 Teleshopping

07:25 Wycliffe

20:00 World News Today

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

08:25 Heartbeat

00:05 Magnum Force 02:30 The Cycle Show 03:20 Hogan's Heroes 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 04:30 The Store 05:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:40 Minder 08:35 Alias Smith and Jones 09:40 Hogan's Heroes 10:45 Magnum, PI 11:45 Minder 12:50 The Professionals 13:50 Alias Smith and Jones 14:55 Magnum, PI 15:55 Pawn Stars 16:55 Hogan's Heroes 18:00 Minder 19:00 Africa Cup of Nations Highlights 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Counting Cars 22:00 The Chase 23:00 Africa Cup of Nations Highlights

DON’T MISS

20:30 Concerto at the BBC Proms 21:00 The Joy of Mozart 22:00 Sound of Song 23:00 Elvis: That's All Right 60 Years On

TOUGH YOUNG TEACHERS 22:00 - BBC THREE

1/6. Six new graduates are thrown in at the deep end as they begin teaching at three of London's toughest schools. Oxford alumnus Charles is sent to The Archbishop Lanfranc School in Croydon, where he comes face to face with 500 students per week, some of whom have only just arrived in the UK. Nick and Meryl are given placements at the Harefield Academy in Uxbridge and are shocked to discover some Year 9 pupils are unable to spell four­letter words. Meanwhile, Claudenia is reduced to tears at Crown Woods College in Eltham.

07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 09:25 Where the Heart Is 07:25 You've Been Framed!

10:35 The Royal

07:45 Emmerdale

11:40 Judge Judy

08:45 You've Been Framed!

13:00 Murder, She Wrote

09:15 The Cube

14:00 Heartbeat

10:15 Psych

15:00 Where the Heart Is

11:10 The Chase

16:10 The Royal

12:15 All Star Family Fortunes

17:15 Never the Twain

13:15 Emmerdale

17:50 Rising Damp

14:15 You've Been Framed!

18:20 On the Buses

14:45 Psych

18:55 Heartbeat

15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show

19:55 Murder, She Wrote

19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Agatha Christie's

21:00 Two and a Half Men

Marple

22:00 Hot Fuzz

23:00 Trial & Retribution

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

SATURDAY

21

24th JANUARY

00:20 Bluestone 42

02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 00:05 Albatross 00:50 EastEnders USA 01:30 International Bowls 02:45 Weather for the Week 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 02:30 Question Time 07:00 Bottom Knocker Street Ahead 07:35 Dino Dan 03:30 This Is BBC Two 02:50 BBC News 08:00 Canimals 07:00 San Demetrio London 08:10 Sooty 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Angels One Five 08:25 Signed Stories 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 10:10 Fred Dibnah's Age of 08:30 Scrambled!

12:30 James Martin: Home 08:35 Nerds & Monsters Steam 08:50 Adventure Time Comforts 10:40 Fred Dibnah's Age of 09:30 Horrid Henry Steam 13:00 BBC News; Weather 09:50 Hulk and the Agents of 11:10 British Isles: A Natural Smash 13:10 Football Focus 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show History 14:00 Bargain Hunt 13:25 ITV News and Weather 12:00 FA Cup Football 15:00 Homes Under the 13:34 ITV Meridian Weather 13:00 James Martin: Home 13:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show Hammer Comforts 14:35 The Undriveables 16:00 Escape to the Continent 13:30 The Churchill Obituary 15:05 Who's Doing the Dishes?

17:00 Final Score 14:30 Great Britons 16:05 Doc Martin 18:20 Pointless Celebrities 15:30 Live International Bowls 17:05 Big Star's Little Star 18:05 ITV Meridian Weather 17:30 Somerset: After the 19:10 BBC News; Regional 18:05 ITV News Meridian Floods News and Weather 18:15 ITV News and Weather 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Now You See It 18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:30 Porridge 19:30 Planet's Got Talent 20:00 The Voice UK 20:00 Harry Hill's Stars in 20:00 The Two Ronnies 21:25 The National Lottery: Their Eyes Sketchbook 21:05 Take Me Out Win Your Wish List 20:30 The Many Faces of 22:20 The Jonathan Ross 22:15 Casualty 21:30 The Two Ronnies: The Show 23:05 BBC News; Weather 23:20 ITV News and Weather Studio Recordings 23:29 ITV Meridian Weather 23:25 National Lottery Update 22:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Bridget Jones: the Edge 23:00 The Artist 23:25 Match of the Day of Reason

00:05 Catastrophe 00:40 Brooklyn Nine­Nine 01:05 Rude Tube 02:00 All about Steve 03:40 The Ricky Gervais Show 04:05 The Ricky Gervais Show 04:30 SuperScrimpers 05:25 Grand Designs Australia 06:20 Deal or No Deal 07:10 How I Met Your Mother 08:00 Snowdon Race 2014 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 The King of Queens 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:30 Frasier 12:00 Frasier 12:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 Speed with Guy Martin 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me

00:00 Family Guy

00:25 Take Me Out

00:00 Law & Order: UK

00:00 Basic

01:40 Take Me Out ­ The

01:05 Wycliffe

02:05 Minder

Gossip

02:10 The Royal

02:55 Whisker Wars

00:00 Weather

01:30 Crims 02:00 Russell Howard's Good News 03:00 Uncle 04:30 Crims 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Eagle Eye 23:50 Family Guy

DON’T MISS

00:00 The Beatles' Please Please Me ­ Remaking a Classic 01:00 Motown at the BBC 02:00 Sound of Song 03:00 Elvis: That's All Right 60 Years On 04:00 The Beatles' Please Please Me ­ Remaking a Classic 04:55 Close 20:00 Unnatural Histories 21:00 Bright Lights, Brilliant Minds: A Tale of Three Cities 22:00 Spiral 22:55 Spiral 23:55 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters' Story

THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW 22:20 - ITV

1/11. The host welcomes another line­up of celebrity guests to his famous green room before subjecting them to a no­holds­barred bout of questioning. Tonight, Oscar winner Colin Firth and up­and­coming actor Taron Egerton talk about their roles in new spy comedy Kingsman: The Secret Service, and Take That discuss their future as a trio, before performing in the studio. Also on the sofa are much­loved actress Caroline Quentin and comedienne Katherine Ryan, who regu­ larly pops up on some of the nation's favourite panel shows.

02:20 Cockroaches 02:45 Fake Reaction 03:20 The Hot Desk

18:00 19:00 19:30 20:30 22:00 23:20

The Simpsons Channel 4 News The Restoration Man Guy Martin's Spitfire Night Will Fall Unstoppable

03:05 Judge Judy 04:10 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale

00:30 Celebrity Big Brother: Live from the House 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Milkshake! Monkey 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:40 Zack and Quack 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Access 11:40 Ice Road Truckers 14:25 Columbo: Death Hits the Jackpot 16:25 Columbo: Murder under Glass 18:00 Columbo: A Matter of Honor 19:25 Elvis by the Presleys 21:05 Elvis ­ The 1968 Comeback Special 22:05 5 News Weekend 22:15 Celebrity Big Brother 23:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

03:20 Nitro Circus 03:40 Movies Now 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping

07:00 Movies Now

04:30 The Store

07:10 Judge Judy

05:30 Teleshopping

07:30 The Belles of St

07:00 The Professionals

09:45 Coronation Street

Trinian's

09:00 The Cycle Show

12:15 The Cube

09:20 Where the Heart Is

13:15 Homeward Bound: the

11:40 The Darling Buds of

Incredible Journey

May

15:00 You've Been Framed!

12:50 A Touch of Frost

14:35 Africa Cup of Nations

14:55 Wycliffe

Highlights

16:05 Carry On Loving

15:35 Battle of the Bulge

17:55 Agatha Christie's

18:50 Storage Wars

Marple

19:15 Storage Wars

03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Emmerdale

17:35 Nanny McPhee & the Big Bang 19:50 Ocean's Thirteen 22:20 Take Me Out ­ The

20:00 Doc Martin

Gossip

21:00 Foyle's War

23:05 I Am Legend

23:00 Lewis

10:00 Hogan's Heroes 10:35 Pawn Stars 12:20 The Secret War of Harry Frigg

19:45 Storage Wars: Texas 20:45 Driven 23:00 Africa Cup of Nations Highlights

22

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

SUNDAY

25th JANUARY

00:55 The Football League Show 01:55 Primeval 03:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Match of the Day Live 17:05 Escape to the Country 17:35 Songs of Praise 18:10 Nature's Boldest Thieves 19:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:30 Countryfile 20:30 Still Open All Hours 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 Last Tango in Halifax 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

00:15 Family Guy 02:55 Crims 03:25 Uncle 03:55 Uncle 04:25 Uncle 04:55 Close 20:00 Pop's Greatest Dance Crazes 20:30 The Voice UK 22:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 22:30 Russell Howard's Good News 23:00 Family Guy 23:25 Family Guy 23:45 Crims

DON’T MISS

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 01:35 Thirteen Days USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 03:50 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:15 Great British Garden 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals Revival 08:10 Sooty 08:15 Glorious Gardens from 08:25 Signed Stories 08:30 Scrambled!

Above 08:35 Nerds & Monsters 09:00 Countryfile 08:50 Ultimate Spider­Man 09:30 Horrid Henry 10:00 The Football League 09:50 Deadtime Stories Show 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:35 ITV News and Weather 11:00 FA Cup Football 13:39 ITV Meridian Weather 12:00 Saturday Kitchen Best 13:40 Harry Hill's Stars in Their Eyes Bites 14:35 Catchphrase 13:30 James Martin's Food 15:20 Midsomer Murders 17:15 The Man with the Map of Britain Golden Gun 13:45 The Long and the Short 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:35 ITV News Meridian and the Tall 19:45 ITV News and Weather 15:30 Live International Bowls 20:00 Get Your Act Together 21:15 All Star Family 18:15 Ski Sunday Fortunes 19:00 Real Steel 22:00 Mr Selfridge 23:00 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Top Gear 23:19 ITV Meridian Weather 22:00 Dragons' Den 23:20 Churchill: 100 Days That Saved Britain 23:00 Shadow Dancer

01:10 The Departed

Countdown

00:15 Law & Order 01:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:30 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:40 Zack and Quack 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Access 11:50 The Hotel Inspector 14:40 Dudley Do­Right 16:20 Cheaper by the Dozen 2 18:05 Zookeeper 20:00 Bulletproof Monk 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 The Darkest Hour

00:55 Duets at the BBC

01:00 Couples Retreat

01:05 Wycliffe

00:00 8 Mile

03:10 Totally Bonkers

02:10 Bomb Girls

02:15 South Park: Bigger,

Guinness World Records

02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen

Longer & Uncut

03:35 The Hot Desk

03:30 Teleshopping

03:35 Nitro Circus

03:45 Teleshopping

07:00 Movies Now

04:00 Teleshopping

07:10 Judge Judy

04:30 The Store

07:30 The Casebook of

07:00 Greatest FA Cup Finals

Sherlock Holmes

07:10 The Professionals

08:40 Carry On Loving

09:05 The Motorbike Show

10:30 Heartbeat

10:05 Hogan's Heroes

11:35 Heartbeat

12:10 Alias Smith and Jones

12:35 Sherlock Holmes: The

13:15 Alias Smith and Jones

00:35 International Bowls

01:55 Top of the Pops: 1980 02:30 Sounds of the 70s 2 03:00 Bright Lights, Brilliant Minds: A Tale of Three Cities

06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk

04:00 Only Yesterday: The

07:10 Life's Funniest

Carpenters' Story

Moments 07:35 Emmerdale

05:00 Close 10:20 Coronation Street 20:00 Shoah: First Era

MR SELFRIDGE 22:00 - ITV

1/10. New series. Return of the drama based on the life of retail mag­ nate Harry Gordon Selfridge, played by Jeremy Piven. It's 1918 and as the family gathers at Rose's funeral, a grief­stricken Harry wonders how he will ever get by without his beloved wife. However, nine months later and the Selfridges are in high spirits ­ Rosalie is marrying renowned Russian aviator Serge De Bolotoff. At the forefront of the lavish wed­ ding is Russian emigre Princess Marie (guest star Zoe Wanamaker), the glamorous mother of the groom, but what is she hiding?

12:50 Take Me Out

03:45 Hollyoaks 06:00 SuperScrimpers 06:55 NFL: Rush Zone 07:20 How I Met Your Mother 07:45 How I Met Your Mother 08:10 How I Met Your Mother 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Jamie and Jimmy's Friday Night Feast 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 The Big Bang Theory 15:25 The Simpsons 15:55 The Simpsons 16:30 Maid in Manhattan 18:35 Channel 4 News 19:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 20:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 Walking the Nile 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does

Master Blackmailer

14:15 Counting Cars

14:00 Take Me Out ­ The

14:50 The Great St Trinian's

14:45 Counting Cars

Gossip

Train Robbery

15:10 Pawn Stars

14:45 Homeward Bound II:

16:45 Rosemary & Thyme

17:30 Africa Cup of Nations

Lost in San Francisco

17:45 Inspector Morse

Highlights

16:35 ET the Extra­Terrestrial

20:00 Lewis

18:30 Africa Cup of Nations

18:50 Along Came Polly

22:00 Les Dawson: An

Live

20:35 The Mummy

Audience With That Never Was

21:30 Pawn Stars

23:00 The Hangover

23:00 Northern Lights

22:00 The Day of the Jackal

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

MONDAY

23

26th JANUARY

00:30 The Apprentice USA 01:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:38 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 The Link 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:45 Waterloo Road

00:35 Billionaire's Paradise: Inside Necker Island 01:35 Countryfile 02:30 Holby City 03:30 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 09:20 Channel Patrol 10:05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:35 Reel History of Britain 15:05 Churchill: Into the Wilderness 16:05 Mrs Miniver 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 David Starkey's Magna Carta 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:20 The Undriveables 00:50 The Chase 01:45 The Store 03:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Richard Wilson on the Road 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Broadchurch 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:05 Evil Dead 01:55 The Last Leg 02:50 Joe Somebody 04:30 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds 05:25 River Cottage Bites 05:35 SuperScrimpers 06:30 Face the Clock 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Car SOS 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 The Undateables 23:00 Catastrophe 23:35 Bodyshockers

00:45 Cats Do the Funniest Things 01:45 Car Crash TV 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Storage: Flog the Lot! 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Like Mother, Like Daughter 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Criminals: Caught on Camera 20:30 5 News Update 20:30 Car Crash TV 21:00 Storage: Flog the Lot! 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Wedding Disaster Specials

00:15 Family Guy 00:40 Family Guy 01:05 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 01:35 Russell Howard's Good News 02:05 Bangkok Airport 03:00 Crims 03:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 04:00 Bangkok Airport 04:55 Close 20:00 World's Craziest Fools 20:30 Don't Tell the Bride 21:30 Waterloo Road 22:30 South Side Story 23:00 Cuckoo 23:30 EastEnders

00:25 Sound of Song 01:25 Elvis: That's All Right 60 Years On 02:25 The Beatles' Please Please Me ­ Remaking a Classic 03:20 The Heart of Country: How Nashville Became Music City USA 04:50 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 National Treasures of Wales 21:00 The Treasure Hunters 22:00 Gardens in Time 23:00 The Arabian Motorcycle Adventures: Storyville

01:05 The Invention of Lying

00:05 Lewis

00:55 River Monsters: Untold

03:00 Life's Funniest

02:05 The Casebook of

Stories

Moments

Sherlock Holmes

02:00 Get Behind the Mule

03:25 Teleshopping

03:05 Judge Judy

02:55 The Cycle Show

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

03:45 Countrywise

03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

07:00 Life's Funniest

04:40 Emmerdale

04:00 Teleshopping

Moments

07:00 Rising Damp

07:00 The Big Match

07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:25 Wycliffe

Revisited

07:45 Emmerdale

08:25 Heartbeat

07:50 Minder

08:15 Coronation Street

09:25 Where the Heart Is

09:15 The Cube

10:35 The Royal

10:15 Psych

11:40 Judge Judy

11:10 The Chase

13:00 Murder, She Wrote

12:15 All Star Family Fortunes

14:00 Heartbeat

13:15 Emmerdale

15:00 Where the Heart Is

13:40 Coronation Street

16:10 The Royal

14:15 Coronation Street

17:15 Never the Twain

14:45 Psych

17:50 Rising Damp

17:00 Hogan's Heroes

18:20 On the Buses

18:00 Highway Patrol

18:55 Heartbeat

18:30 Africa Cup of Nations

21:00 Two and a Half Men

20:00 Murder, She Wrote

Live

21:30 Two and a Half Men

21:00 Rosemary & Thyme

21:30 Storage Wars

22:00 Through the Keyhole

22:00 Long Lost Family

22:00 Storage Wars: Texas

23:00 Couples Retreat

23:00 Collision

23:00 Ax Men

DON’T MISS

THE TREASURE HUNTERS 21:00 - BBC FOUR

15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1/2. Dallas Campbell and Ellie Harrison present the first of two pro­ grammes in which they embark on the ultimate treasure hunt, search­ 19:00 You've Been Framed! ing the globe to uncover its extraordinary riches, from natural gems to precious metals ­ and more besides. Dallas begins his search Down Under, free­diving for lustrous pearls in the waters around north­west Australia and seeking out diamonds from the bottom of the ocean. He also learns about opal mining in one of the most hostile places on Earth and, together with Ellie, reveals how ambergris, a substance that starts life in a sperm whale's stomach, can prove an expensive ingredient in perfume.

08:50 Alias Smith and Jones 09:55 Hogan's Heroes 10:25 Hogan's Heroes 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Minder 13:00 The Professionals 14:00 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Magnum, PI 16:00 Pawn Stars

24

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

TUESDAY

27th JANUARY

00:40 The Graham Norton Show 01:25 The Visitor 03:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:38 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 The Link 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:45 Count Arthur Strong

00:20 Surviving the Holocaust ­ Freddie Knoller's War 01:20 The Super­Rich and Us 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Human Planet: Change and Sustainability KS3 06:00 Schools ­ Virtually There: Germany 06:30 Schools ­ Virtually There: Spain 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 09:20 Channel Patrol 10:05 Kate Humble ­ Into the Volcano 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:35 Reel History of Britain 15:05 Reel History of Britain 15:35 Churchill: Into the Wilderness 16:35 The Wooden Horse 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Holocaust Memorial Day 21:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 22:00 Touched by Auschwitz 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 The Kyle Files 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 River Monsters 21:00 Bad Builders ­ Bang to Rights 22:00 Paul O'Grady's Animal Orphans 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 On Assignment

00:35 24 Hours in A&E 01:35 Walking the Nile 02:30 Man vs Weird 03:25 Jon Richardson Grows Up 04:20 Grand Designs Australia 05:15 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Car SOS 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 24 Hours in Police Custody 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 23:55 Josie: The Most Hated Woman in Britain?

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Botched Up Bodies 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Suspects 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Desperate Escape 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Benefits 21:00 Benidorm ER 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Britain's Flashiest Families

00:00 Family Guy 01:30 South Side Story 02:00 Cuckoo 02:30 Excluded: Kicked Out of School 03:30 Don't Tell the Bride 04:30 South Side Story 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 EastEnders: 30 Years of Cliffhangers 22:00 Excluded: Kicked Out of School 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 EastEnders

00:15 Horizon 01:15 Otis Redding: Soul Ambassador 02:15 A to Z of World Music 03:45 Gardens in Time 04:45 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 National Treasures of Wales 21:00 Children of the Holocaust 22:00 The Art of Fly Fishing: Kiss the Water 23:00 Smiley's People 23:55 Meat Loaf: In and Out of Hell

01:20 Two and a Half Men

00:00 Law & Order: UK

02:15 Animal Practice

01:05 Wycliffe

02:40 Fake Reaction

02:10 The Royal

00:00 D­Tox 02:05 Soldier 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Hat­Trick Heroes 07:05 The Big Match Revisited 07:55 Minder 08:55 Alias Smith and Jones 09:55 Hogan's Heroes 10:25 Hogan's Heroes 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Minder 12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Magnum, PI 16:00 I Want That Car 17:00 Hogan's Heroes 18:00 Highway Patrol 18:30 Africa Cup of Nations Live 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 World Rally Championship Highlights

DON’T MISS

TOUCHED BY AUSCHWITZ 22:00 - BBC TWO

Feature­length documentary marking the 70th anniversary of the lib­ eration of the concentration camp by Red Army troops. Laurence Rees travels to Jerusalem, Chicago, London, Bavaria, Krakow and Tel Aviv to talk to six survivors, along with their friends and families, who discuss the problems, challenges and triumphs they have experienced since the end of the Second World War. Among those interviewed are Tadeusz, who became a doctor but still had to fight persecution by com­ munists in Poland, and Hermann, who went on to become a successful antiques dealer in Bavaria, but still suffers from recurring nightmares.

03:15 Teleshopping 06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe

07:45 Emmerdale

08:25 Heartbeat

08:15 Coronation Street

09:25 Where the Heart Is

08:45 Coronation Street

10:35 The Royal

09:15 The Cube

11:40 Judge Judy

10:15 Psych

13:00 Murder, She Wrote

11:10 The Chase

14:00 Heartbeat

12:15 All Star Family Fortunes

15:00 Where the Heart Is

13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:45 Psych

16:15 The Royal 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 Rising Damp

15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show

18:20 On the Buses

19:00 You've Been Framed!

18:55 Heartbeat

20:40 The Mummy

20:00 Murder, She Wrote

23:00 Cockroaches

21:00 Midsomer Murders

23:35 Plebs

23:00 Collision

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

WEDNESDAY

25

28th JANUARY

00:15 Film 2015 00:45 From Auschwitz with Love 01:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:38 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 The Link 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Pets ­ Wild at Heart 22:00 Churchill: The Nation's Farewell 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:45 The Holocaust: A Story of Remembrance

00:15 Weather 00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 Film 2015 01:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Code 05:30 Schools ­ Eco Maths: Key Stage 3 06:00 Schools: Eco Maths Primary 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 09:15 Channel Patrol 10:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 11:00 Claimed and Shamed 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:20 Reel History of Britain 14:50 The Churchill Obituary 15:50 Churchill: Into the Wilderness 16:50 The Red Beret 18:15 Flog It! 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 Wolf Hall 23:00 Up the Women 23:30 Newsnight

00:10 Benidorm

00:00 Family Guy

01:00 Horizon

00:05 Plebs

01:35 Excluded: Kicked Out

02:00 Bright Lights, Brilliant

00:35 Blue Go Mad In Ibiza

of School

Minds: A Tale of Three Cities

01:35 Two and a Half Men

02:30 EastEnders: 30 Years of 03:00 Fabric of Britain Cliffhangers 04:00 The Art of Fly Fishing: 03:30 Russell Howard's Good Kiss the Water News 05:00 Close 04:00 Excluded: Kicked Out 20:00 World News Today of School 20:30 National Treasures of 05:00 Close Wales 20:00 Top Gear 21:05 Bangkok Airport

21:00 Timewatch

22:00 Blades of Glory

22:00 Could We Survive a

23:30 Russell Howard's Good

Mega­Tsunami?

News

23:00 Jackpot

DON’T MISS

CHURCHILL: THE NATIONS FAREWELL 22:00 - BBC ONE

To mark the 50th anniversary of Winston Churchill's death on January 24, Jeremy Paxman looks back at the magnificent send­off organised for the man who led the country to victory in the Second World War ­ the only state funeral for a commoner in the 20th century.

Paxman meets some of the people involved that day, from close family to soldiers who carried the coffin, and talks to Boris Johnson, author of a recent book on Churchill. He also considers whether the former prime minister's legacy still resonates today.

00:40 Carry On Cleo 02:15 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Bring Back Borstal

02:20 Dads 02:45 Animal Practice 03:05 Life's Funniest Moments 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Psych 11:10 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:40 You've Been Framed!

14:45 Psych 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Along Came Polly 22:50 The Hot Desk 23:00 Keith Lemon: the Film

00:55 Poker 01:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:20 Snowdon Race 2014 03:15 Better Things 04:50 River Cottage Bites 05:00 SuperScrimpers 05:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Car SOS 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Four in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Restoration Man 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Bodyshockers

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 10 Things I Hate About 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Suspects 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:20 Lethal Obsession 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 North Pole Ice Airport 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Age Gap Love

00:00 Law & Order: UK 01:00 Wycliffe 02:05 The Royal 03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Rising Damp 07:25 Wycliffe 08:25 Heartbeat 09:25 Where the Heart Is 10:35 The Royal 11:40 Judge Judy 13:00 Murder, She Wrote 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Where the Heart Is 16:10 The Royal 17:15 Never the Twain 17:50 Rising Damp 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 The Secret Life Of 23:00 Collision

00:00 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 02:25 River Monsters 03:20 Hogan's Heroes 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 The Big Match Revisited 07:50 Minder 08:50 Alias Smith and Jones 09:50 Hogan's Heroes 10:20 Hogan's Heroes 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Minder 12:55 The Professionals 13:55 Alias Smith and Jones 15:00 Magnum, PI 16:00 I Want That Car 17:00 Hogan's Heroes 18:00 Highway Patrol 18:30 Africa Cup of Nations Live 21:30 Pawn Stars 22:00 The Blues Brothers

26

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

THURSDAY

29th JANUARY

00:15 The League Cup Show 01:00 The Mexican 02:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Wanted Down Under 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:38 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Father Brown 16:00 The Link 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Eat Well for Less?

22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:45 Question Time

00:15 Weather 00:20 David Starkey's Magna Carta 01:20 See Hear 01:50 Posh People: Inside Tatler 02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Coding: The Future Is Creative 05:25 Schools ­ Who Needs Maths?

05:55 Schools ­ Cracking the Code 06:55 Schools ­ Wonders of Nature: Mandarin Duck/Flamingo/Frogs 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 09:20 Channel Patrol 10:05 Six Puppies and Us 11:05 Claimed and Shamed 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:40 Reel History of Britain 15:10 Walden on Heroes 15:40 Churchill: Into the Wilderness 16:40 Return from the River Kwai 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Attenborough's Paradise Birds 22:00 Modern Times 23:00 Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 I Never Knew That About Britain 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Mel & Sue 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Kyle Files 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Birds of a Feather 22:00 Bring Back Borstal 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Perspectives

00:00 The Undateables 01:00 Launched at Red Bull Studios 01:30 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 02:20 Transamerica 04:05 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds 05:05 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Frasier 10:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Car SOS 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Three in a Bed 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 The Simpsons 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Cucumber 23:00 The Mega Brothel

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Trauma Doctors 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Botched Up Bodies 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Traders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Cedar Cove 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 North Pole Ice Airport 21:00 Benefits 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Botched Up Bodies

00:00 Family Guy

00:20 Horizon 01:20 Could We Survive a Mega­Tsunami?

02:20 Return to Betjemanland 03:20 Sounds of the 70s 2 03:50 Arena 04:50 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Top of the Pops: 1980 21:00 The First World War from Above 22:00 Battle for The Himalayas: The Fight to Film Everest 23:00 The Epic of Everest

00:45 Cockroaches

00:00 Law & Order: UK

00:40 Basic

01:15 Two and a Half Men

01:05 Wycliffe

02:45 Get Behind the Mule

02:10 The Royal

03:30 Hogan's Heroes

01:30 Crims 02:00 Excluded: Kicked Out of School 03:00 Bangkok Airport 03:55 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 04:55 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Traffic Cops 22:00 Bangkok Airport 23:00 Crims 23:30 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

EAT WELL FOR LESS? 21:00 ­ BBC ONE

1/3. New series. MasterChef judge Gregg Wallace and greengrocer Chris Bavin set out to help families with their food shopping, showing them simple and effective ways to save money on their current bill. First up are the Booths from Lancashire. Mum Jenny claims to be cautious at the supermarket, always looking out for the best deals, but dad Howerd's impulse buys mean they always end up paying more than they should. Now they want to save £40 a week so they can build a home extension. Gregg and Chris start out by spying on the couple dur­ ing their weekly shop ­ and are surprised by what they see.

02:10 Dads 02:35 Tricked 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping

04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals

07:00 Life's Funniest

07:00 Rising Damp

Moments

07:25 Wycliffe

Revisited

07:25 You've Been Framed!

08:25 Heartbeat

07:55 Minder

07:45 Emmerdale

09:25 Where the Heart Is

08:55 Alias Smith and Jones

08:15 Coronation Street

10:35 The Royal

10:00 Hogan's Heroes

11:40 Judge Judy

11:00 Magnum, PI

08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Psych

13:00 Murder, She Wrote

07:15 The Big Match

12:05 Minder 13:05 The Professionals

11:10 The Chase

14:00 Heartbeat

12:15 All Star Family Fortunes

15:00 Where the Heart Is

16:00 Highway Patrol

13:15 Emmerdale

16:10 The Royal

16:30 Pawn Stars

13:40 Coronation Street

17:15 Never the Twain

17:00 Hogan's Heroes

14:15 You've Been Framed!

17:50 Rising Damp

18:00 Minder

18:20 On the Buses

19:00 Ax Men

14:45 Psych 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men

18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote

22:00 Scorpion

21:00 Foyle's War

23:00 The Hangover

23:00 Collision

15:05 Magnum, PI

20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters: Untold Stories 22:00 River Monsters 23:05 D­Tox

Friday 23rd January 2015

27

28

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 3 represents J and 12 represents M, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Feathered creature (4) 4 Dismiss (4) 9 Frequently (5) 10 Everyday (7) 11 Sprint (3) 12 Extremely good (9) 13 Oily (6) 14 Pester (6) 18 Moving staircase (9) 21 Rodent (3) 23 Provide (7) 24 Courageous (5) 25 Friendly nation (4) 26 Neckwear (4)

2 Extreme (7) 3 Perils (7) 4 Stern (6) 5 Severe (5) 6 Impoverished (4) 7 Contribute (4) 8 Superior (6) 13 Avaricious (6) 15 Circus performer (7) 16 Refuse (7) 17 Robust (6) 19 Composed (4) 20 Flat (5) 22 Digits of the foot (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Seaman, 4 Daring, 9 Elevate, 10 Tribe, 11 Titan, 12 Surpass, 13 Ski, 14 Robot, 16 Opera, 18 Tub, 19 Foresee, 21 Sells, 23 Align, 24 Cleanse, 25 Harmed, 26 Decree.

Down: 1 Shelter, 2 Adept, 3 Against, 5 After, 6 Imitate, 7 Guess, 8 Persistence, 15 Barrier, 16 Obscene, 17 Austere, 19 Flash, 20 Since, 22 Lunar.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Chinese capital lies in total waste (4) 4 Heads turn in the under­ world (5) 9 Gold tooth, perhaps, in satellite? (7) 10 Presented 50 with a mallet (5) 11 Friend taking mother to a resort in Mallorca (5) 12 Sailor's requirements are ageless, strangely (3,4) 13 Nasty disease ravaged Serbia (6) 15 Senior journalists in lit­ tle apartment (6) 19 Losing one's grip? I'd sling it out! (7) 21 He has 59 Romans doing The Twist (5) 23 A greeting from Shakespeare's Othello (5) 24 Touching diplomacy by the Italian Embassy's head (7) 25 Treats dossiers, no sir (5) 26 She introduces boy to youth leader (4)

Down 2 Secret group born in two states (5) 3 Men hate ordering fuel (7) 4 His Excellency's religious education ends Embassy dissent (6) 5 The belief is that I am God returning (5) 6 So six aliens are elected by the Russians? (7) 7 A policeman with little money (6) 8 The Spanish manuscript describes trees (4) 14 Got angry when a brother didn't work (7) 16 I cheat learner badly, but it is perfectly right and proper (7) 17 Chopper, inbound, moved along the ground before taking off (6) 18 Stones, a stage of development (6) 19 Part of London starts some official hotel offers (4) 20 I sold out to those false gods (5) 22 Learner taking the Great North Road? He's landed up in Scotland (5)

Down STANDARD CLUES 2 Conspiratorial group (5) Across 1 Dirty film (4) 3 Colourless, odourless gas (7) 4 Mythical underworld (5) 4 Belief opposed to the 9 Satellite (7) norm (6) 10 Auctioneer's mallet (5) 5 Church tenets (5) 11 Capital of Mallorca (5) 6 Former citizens of USSR 12 Ability to walk on deck (7) (3,4) 7 Red­brown metal (6) 13 Hydrophobia (6) 8 Hardwood trees (4) 15 Small flat (6) 14 Restrained (7) 16 Honourable (7) 19 Moving smoothly (7) 17 Prepared to take off (6) 21 Spiral shape (5) 18 Ornamental stones (6) 23 Greeting (5) 19 District of central 24 Pertaining to touch (7) London (4) 25 Medical measures (5) 20 Effigies (5) 26 Titled woman (4) 22 Scottish landowner (5) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Forum, 4 Chef, 8 Arrival, 9 Doric, 10 Latin, 11 Sneered, 12 Turner, 14 Scamps, 18 Refugee, 20 Befog, 22 Bribe, 23 Lineage, 24 Anon, 25 Motet.

Down: 1 First, 2 Revenue, 3 Molest, 4 Cadre, 5 Eardrum, 6 Hamlet, 7 Acid, 13 Ruffian, 15 Cabinet, 16 Sighed, 17 Bedlam, 18 Robe, 19 Green, 21 Feast.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Air Ale Bio Cat Fez Gnu Lap Loo Net New Pod Tun 4 letter words Amid Arch Dale

Data Debt Elan Ewer Faro Glue Halo Haws Hiss Iron Leap Lira Load Mite Moot Ooze Open Plat Quay

Reds Save Sere Slat Slew Soar Soul Spot Tape Tole Toys Tuna What Ziti 5 letter words Alibi Anger Angst

Aztec Floss Frame Lapel Level Mamma Moral Octal Onion Opera Oriel Peons Ratio Resit Salsa Sleds Sugar Tepid Torch

6 letter words Allied Crafts Rapids Tartar Tea bag Thesis 7 letter words Caution Flotsam Measles Quarrel 8 letter words Rescuers Wheedles

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Tenedores (de mesa) (5) 4 Marionetas (7) 7 Tattoo (7) 8 Lakes (5) 10 Fregaderos (5) 11 Path (unsurfaced) (7) 12 To wash (5) 14 Fe (5) 19 File (document) (7) 21 Circus (entertainment) (5) 22 Aeroplane (5) 23 Postman (7) 24 Aduana (7) 25 Bufanda (5)

Down 2 Roundabout (7) 3 Costuras (puntadas) (5) 4 Press (newspapers) (6) 5 Lever (7) 6 Águila (ave) (5) 7 Prueba (4) 9 Pronto (dentro de poco) (4) 13 Breath (respiration) (7) 15 Third (f) (7) 16 Leg (of an animal) (4) 17 Voces (6) 18 Little (not much) (4) 20 Monedas (5) 21 Faces (body parts) (5)

29

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 23rd January to Thursday 29th January Across 7 Which 1978 film musi­ cal starred John Travolta as Danny Zuko and Olivia Newton­John as Sandy Olsson? (6) 8 Which weekly peer­ reviewed general medical journal, founded in 1823 by English surgeon Thomas Wakley, is named it after a surgical knife with a pointed double­edged blade? (6) 9 Love and Pride was the 1984 debut single by which new wave pop band from Coventry? (4) 10 Which Hollywood star , romantically linked with Sammy Davis, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant and Aly Khan, first came to promi­ nence with a leading role in the 1955 film Picnic? (3,5) 11 What word can mean both ‘bundles of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel’ and ‘balls of chopped

meat and liver mixed with bread and herbs, eaten fried or baked’? (7) 13 What is the name of the motel owned by Norman (Anthony Perkins) in the 1960 suspense/horror film Psycho? (5) 15 What name is often applied to all the animal life in a particular region? (5) 17 The 1970s British tele­ vision police drama that took its name from the Cockney rhyming slang for the Flying Squad, was The (What)? (7) 20 What is the name of the Scottish castle resi­ dence of the British royal family situated on the River Dee? (8) 21 What is the name of the fourth planet from the Sun? (4) 22 Amman is the capital of which Arab kingdom in south­western Asia on the

SUDOKU (Easy)

Red Sea? (6) 23 Which state in East

Down 1 By what other name,

Asia was formerly known as Formosa? (6)

meaning ‘heroic’ in Italian, is Beethoven’s Symphony No 3 in E flat major (Opus

55), also known? (6) 2 What name is often given to a canine tooth of a carnivorous animal? (4) 3 What was the surname of the Irish playwright whose works include Krapp’s Last Tape and Waiting For Godot? (7) 4 What was the name of the mission in San Antonio, Texas that was the site of a siege in 1836 by Mexican forces, in which all 180 defenders were killed? (5) 5 Which verb means ‘to add explanatory notes to or supply with critical com­ ments’? (8) 6 What was the surname of the French soldier and writer whose descriptions of sexual perversion gave rise to the term ‘sadism’? (2,4) 12 Named after a beauti­ ful Trojan youth, which is the largest of Jupiter’s satellites? (8)

14 The Shakespeare comedy that features the characters Viola, Duke Orsino, Olivia and Sir Toby Belch is entitled (What) Night? (7) 16 Which South American river flows over 4,150 miles (6,683 km) through Peru, Colombia and Brazil into the Atlantic Ocean? (6) 18 By what other, more common, name is the pro­ tective yellow substance also called ‘cerumen’ better known? (6) 19 What was the sur­ name of Ulysses Simpson, the 18th president of the United States (1869­1877)?

(5) 21 What was the sur­ name of Frank, the scriptwriting partner of Dennis Norden? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH EL UNIVERSO ­ THE UNIVERSE Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el agujero negro

el sol

el asteroide

la constelación

el astronauta

la estrella

el año luz

la galaxia

el cosmos

la luna

el eclipse

la nave espacial

el extraterrestre

la orbita

el ovni

los planetas

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Woman of the Year 2. Bartender 3. Fritz the cat 4. Under Capricorn 5. Hot Rod 6. Paul Newman 7.

Twelve Monkeys 8. The Great Dictator, Adenoid Hinkel 9.

Mr. Ed 10. Stay Away Joe 11. Brad Dexter 12. Rachel Rachel 13. Douglas Fairbanks

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Likely, 4 Emeritus, 10 Mont Blanc, 11 Eyrie, 12 Peat, 13 Lunar month, 15 Slobber, 16 Latvia, 19 Astral, 21 Bassoon, 23 Armageddon, 25 Jute, 27 Spoon, 28 Incessant, 29 Weeklies, 30 Naseby.

Down: 1 Lamppost, 2 Kangaroos, 3 Lobo, 5/24 Michael Moore, 6 Rheumatism, 7 Turin, 8 Seethe, 9 Jaguar, 14 Aboriginal, 17 Inoculate, 18 Ancestry, 20 Luddite, 21 Bronco, 22 Warsaw, 26 Asia.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el agujero negro,

14.la nave espacial, 15.la orbita,

2.el asteroide, 3.el astronauta,

16.los planetas.

l.the sun, m.the moon,

4.el año luz, 5.el cosmos,

a.the astronaut,

n.the asteroid, o.alien,

6.el eclipse, 7.el extraterrestre,

b.the constelation, c.the planets,

p.the eclipse.

8.el ovni, 9.el sol,

d.the space ship, e.the star,

10.la constelación, 11.la estrella,

f.the galaxy, g.the light year,

12.la galaxia, 13.la luna,

h.the orbit, i.the black hole,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

j.the cosmos, k.the UFO,

Answers: 1i, 2n, 3a, 4g, 5j, 6p, 7o, 8k, 9l, 10b, 11e, 12f, 13m, 14d, 15h, 16c.

1. Tracey and Hepburn's first film in 1942 was what?

2. Sandra Bullock, Kris Christophensen and Bruce Willis all had what job before acting?

3. What was the world's first X rated cartoon?

4. In which Hitchcock film did the heroine find a shrunk­ en head in the bed?

5. What was Fonzie's favourite magazine?

6. Who played Billy the Kid in film 'The Left Handed Gun'?

7. In what film did Bruce Willis play a time travelling criminal?

8. In which film did Charlie Chaplain have his first speaking part in 1940?

9. Bamboo harvester was the real name of what TV character?

10. In what film did Elvis play a Red Indian?

11. What actor links Von Ryan's Express and The Magnificent Seven?

12. What was the first film Paul Newman directed?

13. Who wrote and starred in the 1922 version of Robin Hood?

Fill It In

30

Friday 23rd January 2015

GREAT CUTS AND PAMPERING

London­trained hair stylists, David and Karen run Cut and Co and they’ve established themselves in their premises in Calle Los Arcos in Quesada which they moved to last year. Both have over 20 years' experience in the hairdressing business and provide precision hair­ cuts in a relaxed atmosphere with care and attention given to every client.

David and Karen also have a team of specialists who work there during in the week, one of which has brought the con­ cept of fusion healing to the salon with the fully qualified holistic health care provider, Thelma Judson. Fusion Healing is an eclectic mix comprised of Scenar/Cosmodic, Osteopathy, Massage, Aromatherapy, Reflexology and Acupressure customised to enhance your health, wellness and balance. The blended therapies help in healing your physical and spiritual body, calming your mind and emo­ tions. Each ses­ sion and treatment plan will incorpo­ rate some or all of these therapies based on the pro­ fessional recom­ mendation of Thelma.

The rest of the Cut and Co team include talented stylist Debbie who works on Mondays and Thursdays, whilst Annette works on Tuesdays and provides luxury manicures and pedicures and

rejuvenating facials. On a Friday, Sheena the Beauty Therapist offers all kinds of beauty treatments including nails and pedicures.

Wedding Packages are now available at Cut and Co that includes Hair, Nails and Full Make­up. You can find the salon on Facebook at Cut and Co and also Wedding make­up artist and Nails Costa Blanca.

To book a hair or any other beauty appointment phone Karen on 648 879 654 or David on 699 409 433.

DON'T WORRY - 20 MINS EXERCISE A WEEK IS ENOUGH, SAY EXPERTS! NHS guidelines which advise 150 min­ utes of exercise a week should be revised to take into account that even small amounts of activity have huge ben­ efits, health experts have said.

Recent studies have shown that just 20 minutes of vigorous exercise a week is enough to significantly reduce the risk of dying prematurely and is far more achiev­ able than current recommendations.

Writing in the British Medical Journal the authors claim current targets are beyond the reach of most people and doctors should promote the benefits of small increases in physical activity rather than expecting unattainable lifestyle changes.

Too much inactivity has been shown to increase the risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer and more than one third of adults are dangerously inactive.

But Philipe de Souto Barreto from the Institute of Ageing at the University Hospital of Toulouse said health benefits can be achieved by people doing less than the rec­ ommended levels.

Achieving target physical activity recom­ mendations “should remain a goal but not the core public health message surrounding physical activity,” he said.

He suggests people should be encour­ aged “to make small incremental increases in physical activities in their daily life rather than reaching current recommendations.”

For adults between the ages of 19 and 64, the NHS currently recommends at least 150 minutes, 2 hours and 30 minute, of moderate aerobic activity such as cycling or fast walking every week, as well as muscle strengthening exercising on two or more days a week, However a recent study of more than

250,000 adults aged between 50 and 71 in the US found that less than one hour of moderate exercise a week or 20 minutes of vigorous activity reduced the risk of dying prematurely by up to 23 per cent.

Similarly a review of six studies found a 19 per cent decrease in the risk of early death among people walking for less than 75 minutes a week, compared with those who did nothing. The study found even one minute of extra exercise could be beneficial.

Professor Phillip Sparling at the Georgia Institute of Technology said older people in particular were daunted by the 150 minute target.

He claims that slowly increasing light activity ‘may prove more realistic, and pave the way to more intense exercise.’

“We are not proposing that the 150 minute a week standard be abandoned,” he said “Rather, our purpose is to remind col­ leagues that a broad perspective to coun­ selling is already embedded in the guide­ lines and that a whole data approach for older sedentary patients may help them move towards the recommended activity levels.”

However the NHS said that 150 minutes was still needed to positively impact health.

Professor Kevin Fenton, Director of Health and Wellbeing at Public Health England said: “Everyone needs to be active every day – bouts of 10 or more minutes of physical activity have proven health bene­ fits, but getting 150 minutes or more of mod­ erate activity every week is the amount we need to positively impact on a wide range of health conditions. This includes reducing the risk of heart disease and type 2 dia­ betes.”

Friday 23rd January 2015

Q A

31

I have an undiagnosed pain in my right groin/lower abdomen. I have had this on and off for almost a year. I have taken all manner of pain pills but nothing clears it up. I have had a TAC scan, ultra sound, smear test and blood tests but nothing shows up. At present I am waiting for a colonoscopy. I eat well, sleep well and have regular bowel movements but still have this burning, sharp pain. Would your diagnostic scan detect anything like nerve damage or offer any answers? I have had neuralgia in the past and also had shingles and chicken­ pox years ago. I am an active 62 year­old, not overweight with a good varied diet. Other than take pills to try to sort this out I do not take any medication. But I am someone who suffers from anxiety and particularly with this problem. I hope you can offer me some help!

A number of factors can cause the pain you describe. On a positive note, you have had a CAT scan and ultrasound to eliminate nastier causes of lower abdominal pain such as tumours. Nevertheless, the investigations you´ve undergone so far including the awaited colonoscopy are unable to pick­up some of the other causes of abdominal pain. Microorganisms ­ bacteria, fungi and parasite – can cause problems that may eventually lead to sharp abdominal pain.

The diagnostic scans from our clinic very consis­ tently pick­up microorganisms when people com­ plain of abdominal problems such as pain, consti­ pation, diarrhoea, indigestion etc. Sadly, identify­ ing microbes is no longer a priority in public hos­ pitals, which prefer to dish­out antibiotics when infections are suspected, without identifying the nature of the suspected microbe. Even when microbes are checked for in hospitals, it is only done through urine, stool and blood samples with­ out considering that most microbes are deeply buried in tissues. Microorganisms commonly iden­ tified when people complain of sharp abdominal pain include the different strains of the bacteria ­ Streptococcus and Staphylococcus. These bugs are usually found deep in the tissues of the stom­ ach, small intestine, colon, spleen, liver, gall blad­ der, virtually all the major organs of the abdomen, and they cause chronic inflammation. Candida Albicans is a fungus that is also commonly picked­ up during scans. Antibiotics are generally ineffec­ tive against candida. The parasite giardia intesti­ nalis is also a cause of abdominal pain, although this is usually associated with severe diarrhoea.

Many people are also unaware that intestinal worms are quite common here in southern Spain, and the diagnosis of worms doesn´t go down well with most. Worms can grow into any organ of the

body, especially the stomach, intestines, liver, and gall bladder. Inflammatory diseases such as IBS (Inflammatory bowel syndrome) and food allergies can also cause abdominal pain and discomfort, and these problems tend to develop gradually.

One of the most inflammatory foods consumed today is wheat, which is used to make bread, cakes, and pastries. The issue is not that natural wheat is bad for you, but that the strain of wheat commercially available since the mid­1970s is a genetically modified super toxic strain of wheat.

People have varying levels of sensitivity to this modern strain of wheat, and on one extreme there are people with coeliac disease, who are com­ pletely intolerant wheat, and on the other end there are others who suffer from a slight discom­ fort when foods containing a lot of what are con­ sumed. Others however, have varying levels of intolerance to wheat such as mild indigestion, bloating, and acid reflux, and these problems worsen over the years. High levels of toxins espe­ cially in digestive organs cause severe inflamma­ tion and pain. Wheat is the most commercially farmed food today, and is known to be the most contaminated. Some of the toxins identified in the diagnostic scans of people suffering from abdom­ inal pain include; different types of insecticides and herbicides, including heavy metals like mer­ cury, aluminium and lead. And of course as you have pointed out, a re­activation of a past virus which may have lain dormant in the nerves can cause nerve problems which will trigger sharp pains. To correctly pinpoint the cause of any health problem, a full body scan is absolutely nec­ essary, and our diagnostic scan thoroughly goes through every organ and system of the body, including the nerves and nervous system.

TO BOOK A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL: 965 071 745

WHAT EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE PROSTATE GLAND

Do you live in fear of Prostate diseases? The media have a lot of men convinced that prostate diseases are inevitable, and a threat to health. This point of view is false, and to see why, we need to understand the physiology of a normal prostate gland. Around the age of 45, the prostate gland starts to enlarge and continues to do so until about age 60. No one knows why this happens, however the majority of men do not experience any serious health problems. Inside the body, the urethra – urinary tube­ passes through the prostate gland and so when it is enlarged, the normal flow of urine may become affected.

Sometimes the growth of the prostate gland may become excessive or continue indefi­ nitely and this condition is known as Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH) BPH occurs in a small percentage of men, and may severely affect the flow of urine. Most men how­ ever may suffer from prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) at some point their later years. Inflammation of the prostate may be caused by microbes such as bacteria or viruses, or by the build­up of toxins in the prostate gland. The symptoms of Prostate inflammation are very similar to those of an enlarged prostate gland, and include; pain and difficulty while passing urine, passing urine more frequently, straining and aches around the thighs and genitals. Contrary to what most people believe, prostate cancer is a very rare disease. The PSA test used in hospitals to screen for prostate diseases gives a positive reading for all types of prostate problems, and this makes it an unreliable test for Prostate screening. Worse still an unnecessary biopsy may be recommended. At MedB clinic, our diagnostic technology is able to perform a detailed scan of the body, including the prostate gland, to differentiate between the major diseases of the prostate gland.

To book a Full Body Diagnostic Scan Now Call 965 071 745

32

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Tuesday’s New Moon highlights social life and ushers in a more outgoing and fulfilling phase. It also seems that a new friendship could develop into something deeper. If you relax and let events unfold instead of trying to look too far ahead, you can avoid misun­ derstandings, so relax and take each situa­ tion as it comes this week.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Tuesday’s meeting between the action planet, Mars, and telepathic, otherworldly Neptune could make you sense just how much common ground you share with someone. Trust your intuition and ignore advice and your own doubts. A new phase in your career also starts this week, so clear the decks and deal with all unfinished business now.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 This week’s New Moon in your chart’s zone of ambitions, hopes and dreams is due to help you find the new way forward that you have been hoping for, so do not feel that you should carry on along your chosen course regardless. If you are flexi­ ble about the future, you can sidestep a misunderstanding with a loved one or close colleague.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 How much you can rely on someone close should be clear from this weekend, so do not let your doubts about the future colour the decisions you make. An old ambition also comes into much sharper focus early in the week, when forceful, determined Mars joins forces with creative Neptune. You have your finger on the pulse, so do things your way.

Friday 23rd January 2015

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 If you keep your feet on solid ground instead of taking on far more than you can handle, you can avoid misunder­ standings in the week ahead. Tuesday’s New Moon marks the opening of a whole new chapter in your private life. It also heralds some important changes that you could not have foreseen. Let others make the running, and slow down.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 A powerful link between passionate Mars and telepathic Neptune gives you extra insight into someone’s needs and feel­ ings. How the situation will develop could depend on how you play your hand this week, so read between the lines and do not put them under pressure. Focus on work projects and streamline your routine instead.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 If you let go of preconceived ideas about the way a certain situation will turn out, you will start to see your options much more clearly. This week’s New Moon in your chart’s zone of adventure also points to some important changes in your long­term goals, so do not make a rushed decision. Romance and social life are linked from this weekend.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Your intuition should be working overtime this week, so trust your judgment about someone’s feelings even if you have no proof, as yet. If you bide your time a short while longer, you will start to see your way ahead. Juggling your home life and career could be a challenge later in the week. Be realistic, single­minded and determined then.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 This weekend’s clash between your ruler, Jupiter, and the romantic planet, Venus, could make it hard to put your point of view across to someone close. The key to get­ ting what you want is patience, so stand back and wait until the planetary pattern changes later in the week. An unexpected sequence of events is due to give you the advantage.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 This week’s New Moon marks the start of your financial year. Draw up constructive plans and do not hesitate to give up on a project you no longer have your heart in.

If you make your own decisions instead of listening to advice, you can also side­ step a potential problem in the weeks to come. The time has come to put your trust in your own judgment.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 With the Sun and Mercury travelling through your sign you should have the drive and motivation to take full advan­ tage of an unexpected chance to solve financial problems that have held you back. Do not let your doubts stand in your way. Feedback from a friend or colleague later in the week should make you see that you are now on the right track.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Events this week are due to make you see how easy it would be to reach a certain goal. You can, at last, leave recent prob­ lems in the past and turn the page, so take a positive, upbeat approach. Tuesday’s meeting between your ruler, Neptune, and the action planet, Mars, gives you a win­ ning hand. All you need to do now is relax and be yourself.

Friday 23rd January 2015

33

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

Sue wanted to know how to get her new Spanish key- Rita was having problems with Skype being blocked by McAfee board working on her computer

Q

Just a minor query regarding Spanish keyboards. I am unable to get the Spanish n with the tilde over it as in manana etc, even though there is a character key for it as it was a Spanish keyboard.

We bought and installed a new Spanish keyboard yesterday and again the same is hap­ pening. When I press the key for n+tilde I just get ; or in cap­ itals ; and pressing alt or alt gr does not make any difference.

Not a big deal I know, but if I want to write in Spanish then I do need the proper keyboard so do you have any advice on how to fix this?

A

Hi Sue, yep it’s not that straight forward really, for what should be a simple change, but here goes…

1. Click Start , type intl.cpl in the Start Search box, and then press ENTER. 2. On the Keyboards and Language tab, click Change keyboards.

3. Click Add. 4. Expand the language that you want. For example, expand Spanish (Spain, International Sort).

5. Expand Keyboard list, click to select the Spanish check box, and then click OK. 6. In the options, click View Layout to compare the layout with the actual keyboard.

In the Default input language list, click Spanish (Spain, International Sort) – Spanish, and then click OK two times.

8. In the Regional and Language Options dialog box, click OK. Note The Language bar appears on the taskbar. When you rest the mouse pointer over this bar, a tooltip appears that describes the active keyboard layout.

10. Click the Language bar, and then click ES Spanish (Spain, International Sort)

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q A

Hello ­ I wonder if you can help me. I accidentally said "block" when my McAfee Security asked if I wanted to block Skype and so now I can't access my Skype.

How do I get back my Skype? My mistake of course but I don't know how to rectify it. Would appreciate your assistance. Many thanks ­ Rita Hi Rita, you will need to open up McAffee and do the following…

1. Open security centre 2. Go Web and email protection 3. Go to firewall 4. go to Internet connection for programs 5. Locate the program that you want to unblock and change its access to the Internet Update: Richard ­ thank you so much. I really REALLY appreciated your help. Well done. Regards ­ Rita

Michael was having problems with Microsoft ActiveSync and his Sat Nav system

Q

Hi Richard, I am trying to install a programme for my sat nav and a programme called `Microsoft active sync` will not install as it says there is not an email programme installed for this. Obviously it will take live mail. It says it cannot complete the installation due to incom­ patibility problems check on line for a solution which I press but there is no solution for it. Is there anything I can do to install this programme independent from the sat nav installation set up?

Hi Michael, I’m not sure why your installation is confusing Microsoft ActiveSync with an email application as the two are very different programmes. ActiveSync is used for some applications to synchronise data between your computer and a mobile device and in this case I suspect that you may be using Windows 7 as this operating system has its own synchronisation software and doesn’t use ActiveSync (that’s an older application used for Windows XP et al)

A

If you are using Windows 7 and your Sat Nav is compatible with this operating system then you should just be able to plug it in and Windows will setup or download ”Windows Mobile Device Centre” automatically for you.

34

Friday 23rd January 2015

HOW LONG WILL TOP GEAR LAST?

What’s 13 years old and constantly getting into trouble? No, it isn’t a teenage boy, though in a lot of ways it’s pretty simi­ lar – it’s Top Gear. Strictly speaking, the world’s most popular motoring show is closer to 40, hav­ ing started life in 1977 as a relatively serious pro­ gramme that reviewed cars and looked at motor­ ing issues, but its 2002 reboot brought the per­ sonality­led studio format we know today.

Success duly followed, and the show is now said to have around 350 million viewers a week in 170 coun­ tries. UK ratings hit 8.13m in 2007, when the opening show of series nine featured presenter Richard Hammond’s return following his near­fatal crash in a drag car, along with footage of the event. And numbers around the 6­7m mark have

been commonplace ever since. The subsequent pop­ ularity of worldwide live shows and merchandising

has made Top Gear one of the BBC’s biggest earners.

However, despite its con­ tinued success (or perhaps

because of it) the format has remained static, and there have been a growing num­ ber of controversies that would have seen lesser shows axed. Fresh in view­ ers’ minds will be the recent Christmas special, where the team travelled though Argentina in three old sports car. Jeremy Clarkson’s Porsche 928 bore the num­ ber plate H982 FKL, which locals interpreted as a not­ so­subtle reference to the 1982 Falklands War. The crew and presenters main­ tain it was total coincidence, but not everyone was con­ vinced, and the team was forced to flee the country, with a police escort staving off angry, violent gangs.

That wasn’t the only time Clarkson was in hot water last year. He made a public apology in May after out­ takes from a former episode surfaced online, in which he appeared to mumble a racist term when comparing two cars, and there have been countless past quips cover­ ing everything from prosti­ tutes to Nazis. It's led to suggestions that the new series may be the last, but we've heard this before. So how much longer can the show really go on before it’s deemed too tired and risky

for the BBC to bother with?

Quite some time, apparent­ ly.

“It’s got a lot of life left in it,” says Chris Curtis, editor of Broadcast magazine. “It’s still BBC2’s top rated show, plus Kim Shillinglaw [the new controller of the chan­ nel] is a fan, and Top Gear makes a load of money for the BBC worldwide. It’s got a lot going for it on a practi­ cal level.”

“It surprises me,” admits Top Gear’s executive pro­ ducer, Andy Wilman. “If you’d asked me 10 years ago if [the last series] would be as big as it has been, I’d have said you’re mad.

Shows, particularly of this nature, don’t go on for this long – but here we are and it did. The last series was monster for viewing figures; it was about 10m a week when you count iPlayer and things like that.”

Figures aside, Clarkson’s frequent hullabaloos regu­ larly lead to calls for him to be sacked or lynched and many believe his mouth will eventually get him, and the show, the chop. But the cur­ rent stance of the BBC (and the money the programme makes) suggests he’s safe from the executive boot, at least for the time being.

“The BBC is being a bit more confident and proac­ tive now,” says Curtis. “It’s prepared to stand up to its critics. While Clarkson has had his knuckles wrapped several times, it’s still one of the most successful shows and they’re going to stand by it.”

But what about the com­ mon gripe that after 13 years, the format is dated and the programme has moved away from its car show roots to light entertain­ ment and pure silliness?

“Top Gear is a loose for­ mat,” says Wilman. “It’s three blokes in a studio, plus the Stig, and the attitude is the same every time. You know there’ll be cocking around, you know there’ll be gorgeous cars – you don’t know if we’re going to go to Chernobyl or somewhere like that, and that keeps it alive. However, that is a curse as well because peo­ ple expect more and more each time. Once you’ve built a space shuttle or put a Toyota Hilux on top of a building that’s due to be blown up, you can’t top that.

You’d have to drop it from space.

“If you do something simi­ lar people go ‘oh, you’ve run out of ideas,’ but they watch the same challenge on The Apprentice and they don’t complain.”

A bigger threat to the show than format or contro­ versy is if one of the presen­ ters were to leave. “It’s the chemistry of the three of them that makes it work," says Curtis. “It still feels as though Clarkson is kind of the spiritual leader, so if he got bored one day and said ‘I’m done’, that could well be it. But that’s true of a lot of shows, it’s often that talent that makes it. And nothing’s been said publicly to sug­ gest Clarkson’s going to walk away.”

Wilman admits Top Gear is unlikely to get any bigger and the challenge he and his team face is to keep the programme buoyant, which he thinks is a generational thing. “We’ve got a mental age of about nine as a show, and each year you get new bunch of nine­year­olds coming through," he says. "I don’t think it’ll get any bigger but, then again, I didn’t think it’d get like this.”

Top Gear returns to BBC2 this Sunday (25th) at 9pm CET.

Friday 23rd January 2015

35

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Friday 23rd January 2015

37

Friday 23rd January 2015

CHICKEN WARS

Supermarkets are in a price war on chooks, but will our appetite for cheap chicken damage welfare standards?

Feathers are flying in the latest supermarket price war, as retailers cut chicken prices to lure shoppers. Waitrose is, perhaps surprisingly, leading the charge. It has halved the price of its Essential whole chicken from £4.23 to £2.11.

Sainsbury’s has dropped the cost of its whole chicken from £4.50 to £3.50. A large 1.6kg chicken is currently £5 at Tesco, while Asda, Tesco and Morrisons are all running 3 for £10 offers, which works out at £3.33 per bird.

For cash­strapped consumers, the move couldn’t come at a better time. The price of chicken breasts means many are switching to cheaper thigh fillets. Free­range chicken is now a veritable luxury, with an average­sized bird costing any­ where from £8­£11.

Tellingly, it is budget chickens rather than free­range that are currently on offer. The price cuts inevitably raise con­ cerns about where the birds are coming from, and their con­ ditions, as well as putting financial pressure on farmers.

“Our desire for cheaper chicken is pushing some produc­ ers to erode the higher welfare standards the UK estab­ lished in 2010,” says Compassion in World Farming’s Dr Tracey Jones. “As we consume more and more chicken at ever lower prices, such economic pressure drives faster growth rates, increases the number of birds in each shed and thwarts all efforts to reduce foodborne diseases such as Campylobacter.”

Waitrose for one says that its half­price offer hasn’t impacted its welfare standards. “The hens have 20 per cent more space than the industry standard, giving our birds the room they need to move freely,” says a spokesperson. All the whole chickens currently on special offer at the major supermarkets are labelled British.

For the supermarkets, the chicken price wars are an opportunity to increase sales after months of bad press.

Seventy per cent of supermarket chickens were highly con­ taminated with the food­poisoning bacteria Campylobacter, according to a November 2014 Food Standards Agency report.

Yet chicken remains a trolley staple, and experts believe it will always be a focus for price battles.

“The received wisdom is that ­ like milk, bread, bananas or cheap booze ­ chicken drives footfall. In other words, shop­ pers will come in their droves to that store because its chick­ en is so cheap,” says Adam Leyland, editor of The Grocer.

Waitrose ­ Whole chicken – Essential chicken (typical weight 1.29kg) – was £4.23 now £2.11 Tesco ­ Whole chicken – Large chicken (typical weight 1.6­1.9kg) currently £5; medium chicken (typical weight 1.35kg­1.55kg) part of 3 for £10 deal Asda ­ Whole chicken – Extra Large chicken £2.78 per kg.

Medium chicken (typical weight 1.35kg) part of 3 for £10 deal Sainsbury’s ­ Whole chicken – Small whole chicken (typ­ ical weight 1.35kg) reduced from £4.50 to £3.50 Morrisons ­ Whole chicken – Currently £4 (typical weight 1.3kg), or available as part of a 3 for £10 deal

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Friday 23rd January 2015

Friday 23rd January 2015

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Friday 23rd January 2015

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Friday 23rd January 2015

Property

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Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

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Friday 23rd January 2015

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or direc­ tions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf­ spain.org.

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups

in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoy­ ance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certi­ fied healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcen­ trecostablana@gmail.com

INSURANCE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our

friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL MEDIA needs self­ employed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30­40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with home­ work, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provid­ ed, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time car­ pet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer fac­ ing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

CAR HIRE

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CATERING

ALARMS

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

POOL TABLES

SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

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Friday 23rd January 2015

CAR BREAKERS

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44

Friday 23rd January 2015

MINDING YOUR P’S AND Q’S ON THE COURSE

This week I’m giving you some guidelines on how I think the great game of golf should be played, and if you follow them, then I think everybody will get maximum enjoyment every time you go out for a round.

THE SPIRIT OF THE GAME Unlike many sports, golf is played, for the most part, without the supervision of a referee or umpire. The game relies on the integrity of the individual to show consider­ ation for other players and to abide by the Rules of Golf.

All players should conduct themselves in a disciplined manner, demonstrating courtesy and sportsmanship at all times, irrespective of how competitive they may be. This is the spirit of the game of golf.

SAFETY Players should ensure that no one is standing close by or in a position to be hit by the club, the ball or any stones, pebbles, twigs or the like when they make a stroke or practice swing.

Players should not play until the players in front are out of range.

Players should always alert green staff nearby or ahead when they are about to make a stroke that might endanger them. If a player plays a ball in a direction where there is a danger of hitting someone, he should immediately shout a warning. The traditional

word of warning in such situ­ ations is "FORE".

CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PLAYERS No disturbance or distrac­ tion; players should always show consideration for other players on the course and should not disturb their play by moving, talking or making unnecessary noise. Players should ensure that mobile phones taken onto the course does not distract other players. On the tee, a player should not tee his ball until it is his turn to play.

Players should not stand close to or directly behind the ball, or directly behind the hole, when a player is about to play.

ON THE PUTTING GREEN On the putting green, play­ ers should not stand on another player's line of putt or, when he is making a stroke, cast a shadow over his line of putt. Players should remain on or close to the putting green until all other players in the group have holed out.

SCORING In stroke play, a player who is acting as a marker should, if necessary, on the next tee, check the score with the player concerned and record it.

PACE OF PLAY Players should play at a good pace. It is a group's responsibility to keep up with the group in front. If it loses a clear hole and it is delaying the group behind, it should invite the group behind to play through, irre­ spective of the number of players in that group.

BE READY TO PLAY Players should be ready to play as soon as it is their turn to play or with agree­ ment of others play if it is clear and safe to do so.

When playing on or near the putting green, they should leave their bags or carts at the rear of the green to will enable quick movement towards the next tee. When the hole has been complet­ ed, players should immedi­ ately leave the putting green away from oncoming play­ ers.

LOST BALL If a player believes his ball may be lost outside a water hazard or is out of bounds, to save time, he should play a provisional ball. Players searching for a ball should signal the players in the group behind them to play through as soon as it becomes apparent that the ball will not easily be found.

They should not search for five minutes before doing so.

Having allowed the group behind to play through, they should not continue play until that group has passed and is out of range.

PRIORITY ON THE COURSE Unless otherwise deter­ mined by the Committee, priority on the course is determined by a group's pace of play. Any group playing a whole round is entitled to pass a group playing a shorter round.

CARE OF THE COURSE Before leaving a bunker, players should carefully rake and smooth over all holes and footprints made by them and any made by others.

Repair of Divots, Ball­Marks and should carefully repaired and any damage to the putting green made by the impact of a ball (whether or not made by the player

KNOW YOUR RULES

QUESTION

Kevin’s ball lands in one of the bunkers guarding the green at this par­4. Not sure which club is most suitable, he takes his normal sand wedge and his 60° wedge into the bunker.

He decides that he can escape with his normal sand wedge and places the other club in the bunker whilst he plays his shot. He is penalised two strokes for touching the ground in the hazard.

TRUE OR FALSE?

himself). On completion of the hole by all players in the group, damage to the put­ ting green caused by golf shoes should be repaired.

PREVENTING UNNECESSARY DAMAGE Players should avoid caus­ ing damage to the course by removing divots when taking practice swings. Players should ensure that no dam­ age is done to the putting green when replacing the flagstick. In order to avoid damaging the hole, players should not stand too close to the hole and should take care during the handling of the flagstick and the removal of a ball from the

lines in this section, it will make the game more enjoy­ able for everyone. Should a player consistently disre­ gard these guidelines during a round or over a period of time to the detriment of oth­ ers, it is recommended that the Committee considers taking appropriate discipli­ nary action against the offending player. Such action may, for example, include prohibiting play for a limited time in a certain number of competitions.

This is considered to be jus­ tifiable in terms of protecting the interest of the majority of golfers who wish to play in accordance with these guidelines. In the case of a

hole. The head of a putter should not be used to remove a ball from the hole.

Players should not lean on their clubs when on the put­ ting green, particularly when removing the ball from the hole. The flagstick should be properly replaced in the hole before the players leave the putting green. Local notices regulating the movement of golf carts should be strictly observed.

CONCLUSION; PENALTIES FOR BREACH If players follow the guide­

serious breach of etiquette, check the Rules of Golf under Rule 33­7.

GOLF LESSONS Golf instruction should include golf etiquette and rules with all PGA and other teaching professionals fully trained to teach all the rules of golf. Not only will your golf lessons teach you to swing the golf clubs, chip and putt and how to get out of bunkers. Your local profes­ sional will help you with the rules in your golf lessons to help you get the most out of golf.

TITTER ON THE TEE John raised his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the golf club for the best toast of the night!

He told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

"What was your toast?" She said "Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!".

ANSWER

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's golfing bud­ dies. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the club with a toast about you."

FALSE A player is entitled to place his clubs in a hazard, provided nothing is done that would constitute testing the hazard or improving the lie of the ball (See Exception 1 to Rule 13­4).

"He told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to get him there, and the other time he fell asleep".

Friday 23rd January 2015

45

NO MESSING ABOUT DEPORTIVO 0

BARCELONA 4

Lionel Messi once again responded to speculation about his Barcelona future with a sen­ sational performance on the pitch, scoring a hat­trick as the Catalans trounced Deportivo last Sunday. The Argentinian sounded alarm bells last week by saying that he did not know where he would be next year, but gave Barca a two­goal advantage at the break at Riazor and then completed his treble in the second half. A late own goal by defender Sidnei compounded struggling Depor's misery. Barcelona remain one point behind the leaders Real Madrid, and will look for a third victory against Elche in just over a fortnight tomorrow evening (Saturday).

REAL EASY GETAFE 0

REAL MADRID 3

Real Madrid struck three times in 16 second­half minutes to finally end the dogged resist­ ance of local rivals Getafe, with Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale the men on the mark.

After being kept goalless for more than an hour, Madrid's much­vaunted strikeforce made the breakthrough they had been searching for in the 63rd minute when Ronaldo finished off

a well­worked move. Bale then volleyed home a second before Ronaldo wrapped up a 3­0 win with Madrid's third 11 minutes from time, ensuring Carlo Ancelotti's men would finish the first half of the season on top of the table, with a Saturday afternoon trip to Cordoba next on their schedule.

TYTONIC SAVE LIFTS ELCHE ELCHE 1

Fran Escriba's side pulled off a second successive victory which took them out of the La Liga relegation zone, in a must­win relegation win over fellow­strugglers Levante last Sunday night, which also featured two missed penalties.

One of the pivotal moments came from referee Carlos Velasco Carballo's decision to show a red card to Levante’s Navarro with just six minutes on the clock when the defender struck Sergio Pelegrin in the face as the two players contested a ball. Faycal Fajr nearly took advantage from the resulting free­kick but Diego Marino was able to save from the Frenchman. And it was not long before a goal did arrive ­ Aaron Niguez curled a cross into the box and Jonathas (pictured celebrating) rose highest to head the ball into the far corner.

Elche were then handed an opportunity to virtually kill the game off as they were awarded a penalty in the 19th minute for a questionable foul by Loukas Vyntra on Jonathas. But with usual penalty taker David Lomban suspended, Fajr stepped up to take the penalty and was

LEVANTE 0

denied by the right hand of Marino.

Levante coped well despite their numerical disadvantage and could have equalised before the break through Victor Casadesus, and in the second half Jose Luis Morales somehow blasted wide as he gobbled up a loose ball on the edge of the area. Levante were then hand­ ed the perfect way back into the game with 20 minutes to go when Velasco Carballo stunned the Martinez Valero stadium by awarding a penalty for a shove by Damian Surez on Casadesus.

But Przemyslaw Tyton guessed right (pictured) and got in the way of Ruben's spot kick to preserve Elche's lead and to bag three vital points. Annoyingly for the Ilicitanos, their next match is at home to second­placed Barcelona tomorrow evening, who thrashed them twice recently in the Copa del Rey, but there’s a trip to come to bottom­side and old rivals, Granada on January 31st.

46

Friday 23rd January 2015

TOP MARKS FOR TORRY MURO CF 2

CD Torrevieja produced their best performance of the season to go second in the table as they beat Muro for the very first time. Memories of a poor November have long been forgotten thanks to a top notch display of attacking football from a team that is unrecognisable from the outfit that was drifting into mid­table mediocrity a couple of months ago.

They could have been behind though after just 20 seconds when Oscar failed to make the ball which was lobbed over him, with Alexis dashing back to clear off the line with inches to spare. Torry took the lead with just six minutes on the clock as Adrian delivered a fine cross from the left and Cesar out­jumped his marker to head into the far side of the net with exquisite skill.

Cesar then thundered a shot off the upright before adding a second midway through the half, when he left his opponent for dead and coolly slotted past the advancing Franco in the Muro goal.

The match was effectively sealed eleven minutes into

CD TORREVIEJA 4

the second half with Torry adding a third when Rafa Gomez saw Adrian make a run through the middle and sent the ball to him on a plate. Adrian kept his compo­ sure, rounded Franco and stroked the ball into the empty net. Rafa Gomez thought he had added a fourth when Ferran sprung down the right like greased light­ ning and curved his cross into the danger area. It was perfectly delivered and beat the near post defenders allowing Rafa to tap it home near the far post, but was wrongly ruled offside. Rafa was not to be denied though and he made it 4­nil in the 65th minute with a low left foot drive into the corner of the net.

Torry then lost concentration and got a flavour of their manager Galiana losing as rag on the touchline as two goals were tossed away. Mario Real was unchallenged to get one back in the 66th minute, and with seven min­ utes remaining, a lapse of judgement saw Alexis move out of the way of an innocuous chest high ball, allowing Lucas an unexpected gift of a simple tap home past a

disgusted Oscar.

They were two ghast­ ly howlers which just took the edge off a great afternoon and in tighter affairs could well have cost points.

As it is, Torrevieja are on their own in sec­ ond place, three points behind Castellon and a chance to keep the pressure up as they entertain relegation­ threatened Ribarroja this Sunday afternoon with a 5.00pm kick off.

MONTE SEE RED… AGAIN AND AGAIN! CD ALMORADI B 5

A cold Saturday night left Montesinos with little to warm the cockles of their heart, and in a match which didn’t see one bad tackle from either side, a card­crazy referee produced five dismissals and 13 cautions which made an old­style Brian Rix Whitehall farce appear to be boring fare. Both teams started brightly, with a Rubio having a free kick well­saved, and then Monte’s keeper Lopez doing the same. Carlos then broke through only to thwarted again by good goalkeeping, and with Vaz and Carlos out pacing the Almoradi defence, it was only a matter of time before once again Vaz put a great ball through to Carlos who unleashed an unstop­ pable shot to put the visitors ahead in the 17th minute.

The farce kicked in seven minutes later when Macan was muscled off the ball on the Almoradi line taking a slight knock as he fell just off the pitch, with the goalkeeper taking the dead ball kick as play went on.

Macan then limped along by the playing surface to the half way line and Monte manager Juanpe signalled the referee for permission to allow the player to come back on. The match official then bizarrely went over and sent Macan off and then red­carded Juanpe for his protests over the crazy decision. Almoradi started to press forward against the 10­man visitors and only a great save by Lopez kept Monte in front, but pressure told

CD MONTESINOS 1

seven minutes before half­time as an unmarked home forward levelled up matters.

The second half started with another good save preventing Vaz from scoring and then Carlos firing just over. An Almoradi free kick brought another good save from Lopez, before on the hour Almoradi broke through and made it 2­1. Three minutes later they made it 3­1, before things got even worse for Monte. Marcos had come on for Yonhi and tackled an Almoradi forward, which did not prevent him from going on to make a pass and then receive the ball back again to fire in a shot just over the bar. The referee then found Marcos and booked him, and then moved on to send off an Almoradi defender for two alleged bookable offences. The bewil­ dered spectators then saw Marcos sent off for hand ball two min­ utes later, when clearly it was ball to hand, and then when substi­ tute Dimitry came on with 10 minutes left, he was sent off for his first tackle, with Almoradi taking advantage to get two late goals, one of which was clearly off­side. The full­time whistle could not come soon enough for a disgruntled Montesinos side who now entertain Dolores this Sunday afternoon.

47

Friday 23rd January 2015

LUCKY, LOFTY LOUIS!

This is a McCarragor production: I put the ‘Lofty’ label in because to me big van Gaal always stares away up to wherever, as though superior to those around him, on a higher planet than the rest of us. The ‘Lucky’ tag came from Jamie Carragher.

Now I know he’s a Scouser, and most hate Mancunia, but I think this time he’s right with his honest pundit’s hat on. The ex­Liverpool stalwart’s opinion is that van Gaal has got away with a lot this season for United to be still sitting in fourth place ­ and I agree. At the moment, the cost of raising United from seventh to wobbly fourth looks like £156m.

Has the big Dutchman been lucky? Well, the overwhelming evidence shows Manchester United have spent that huge amount on half a team, splashing out on some of the world’s best players in the process. But before last weekend’s welcome win against badly­struggling QPR, United were at the same position as they were 12 months ago, then under the luckless David Moyes ­ and £156m better off. Now entering the second half of this crucial season, United have the Capital’s chasing triumvirate of Arsenal, Spurs and West Ham United snap­ ping at their heels – and van Gaal and United have a lot of sweating to do before the end of the season. The Red Devils just must fin­ ish in the top four and so qualify to return again for Europe to justify the £156m. That is a necessity now for any United manager and one which cost poor old Moyes his job. It’s looking as though that knee­jerk decision was very harsh, so high are the standards at the Theatre of Dreams.

Last week Southampton brought the shud­ ders back to Old Trafford, shades of last year when mod­ est teams often came away with all three points. But this year’s super Saints are third, and league tables never lie. At the mighty Theatre of Dreams, United didn’t even have one shot on target, and for an attack contain­ ing Rooney, Di Maria, van Persie and Falcao that is a pitiful statistic. In c o m p a r i s o n Southampton cost next­to­nothing, but

the team spirit from St Mary’s is enviable in contrast, with van Gaal’s ‘try everybody’ regime doing little to foster that siege mental­ ity, so carefully constructed and evident in Alex Ferguson’s reign. In less than two years, little remains of Fergie’s legacy, and today talk of United as champions is laugh­ able. Football can be very fickle, especially in these fast­moving times.

Van Gaal’s style of play continues to mys­ tify the faithful. On Saturday at Loftus Road, United fans’ chants of ‘4 – 4 – 2’ rang round, attacking the Dutchman’s fixation of playing three at the back. It comes to something when your own fans are telling you how to play. LVG scribbles away frantically on his clip­board every match; it makes you wonder what he writes: ‘must try harder/3­5­2 for ever/ sack half the team?

Most of the time, arguably, Robbie Savage talks sense ­ IMHO. In a recent analysis for the BBC, Robbie said who he thought should stay and who should leave Old Trafford. It’s interesting, leaving out the suggested stay­ ers, how about these to let go: Robin van Persie, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, Jonny Evans, Tom Cleverley, Darren Fletcher, plus a few more. Well, that’s another half a team: defenders, midfielders and a world­ renowned striker, all from the old guard, all Fergie’s men who delivered the goods such a short time ago. For me there are also ques­ tion marks against Marouane Fellaini and Juan Mata, neither have really settled at Old Trafford. And, of course, who will replace all

ONE LOST, ONE WON

Orihuela ITV Vega Baja Rugby club lost 15­24 in a keenly fought first division con­ test (pictured) away to Murcia on a poor pitch at Monterromero last Saturday.

Orihuela gave all they got and led 12­5 at half­time only for Murcia to look a totally different side in the second period.

Before the senior match, the Orihuela cadetes side rolled out 49 points to 19 vic­ tors over Murcia.

these if they go?

Whatever happened to United’s once­ proud youth policy? Leaving out the Busby Babes, I mean the one which gave us greats like Bobby Charlton, George Best, Brian Kidd, Nobby Stiles and more recently the Neville brothers, Nicky Butt, David Beckham and Ryan Giggs. There’s now a talented kid called James Wilson who’s earned the right to be given a good run in the Prem, but of course the big names are always given prior­ ity to justify the money spent – and one day Falcao just might earn his staggering £265,000 a week (oh no he won’t!). That sort of money is immoral, given the Columbian’s loan position amid rumours of not even being at Old Trafford next season. Three goals in fourteen matches says it all ­ and Di Maria hasn’t really done a lot to justify his £59m price tag.

What about tonight? A huge potential banana skin awaits at Cambridge in the fourth round of the FA Cup. Nothing other than an emphatic United win will silence the whispers that encircle Old Trafford – is Louis van Gaal still the right man to put United right again? Whatever happens, this second half of the season is going to be fascinating for neutrals, but nail­biting for everyone con­ cerned with United. Hey, improving­at­last deadly rivals Liverpool are only five points behind United with Arsenal, Spurs and West Ham In between. Ooh, it’s tough near the top – and Lofty Louis will need all that luck in the next few months.

Friday 23rd January 2015

48

HIGH FIVES!

Five goals away from home at swatted Swansea: five points clear at the top of the Prem after Arsenal, five places below did Chelsea a huge favour by going to the Etihad and beating mighty Man City 2 – 0. Yes, Mourinho’s men did him proud in Swales, and although two goals were dreadful defensive disasters, three were not. The Blues looked irresistible again fol­ lowing the dismal December defeats to Newcastle and that 5 – 3 hammering from Spurs (tee­hee).

Mind you, that’s in the Prem, but it was a different story on Tuesday night at Anfield in the Capital One Cup semis first leg, as a resurgent Liverpool set about Chelsea. 20 home efforts to 2, Gerrard hitting the post, and only an early Eden Hazard penalty to show for the Blues, which was eclipsed by Raheem Sterling’s excel­ lent equaliser on the hour. Everything’s set for the sec­ ond leg next Tuesday at the Bridge.

Flash in the Emirates pan against City, or has Arsene finally figured out how to cash in with his class of class? A lucky iffy penalty was followed by a Giroud header from a free kick, engineered by the outstanding Santi Cazoria, the little Spaniard for once taking the limelight from Alexis Sanchez. But all the Arsenal team played their part ­ for once. £64m question is – can the Gunners keep it up and earn the Gunners £64m?

Nasty neighbours Spurs are snarling away in sixth, two points behind their North London arch­rivals: that cool Dane Eriksen popped up yet again to seal another late victory against suffering Sunderland. That’s four final

John McGregor reports

minutes winners amongst eight goals so far this sea­ son. In t’other semi­final Spikey Sheffield United only lost by the odd Andros Townsend goal on Wednesday at White Hart Lane, the return leg next week in the Steel City won’t be easy for Spurs.

In the middle of the London/Manchester fight at t’ top o’ Prem, little Southampton are still punching above their weight. Double­Dutch dealing meant rockin’ Ronny Koeman’s done it again, bringing another unheard­of star to the Prem. Saturday’s two­goal strik­ er Eljero Elia had been ‘rescued’ from obscurity and repaid his boss’s faith in him by scoring both goals in the 2 – 0 win over managerless Newcastle. No­wins­in­ four now for the Magpies, and 49 thousand ardent Geordies deserve better. Sort it, Mike Ashley – and soon…

SAS? Yesterday, man, old hat ­ Liverpool seem to be re­inventing themselves with those Suarez­sale spon­ dulicks they invested in players like Lazar Markovic, Emre Can and Alberto Moreno at last paying off. ‘Bout time, big Brendan. And nobody’s saying ‘que pasa’ with yesterday’s man Daniel Sturridge. The England striker has now nearly missed half a season, and old Poco Loco barmy Balo’s out mysteriously ‘injured’.

Yeah, right ­ arrivederci, Mario. Talking of Italian strik­ ers? No, not him, actually another of yesterday’s men Fabio Borini scored the opener against Aston Villa, then that large Liverpudlian Lambert came on as a sub and wrapped up Villa’s misery. Hey youse ­ is Jordan Henderson steadily becoming the new Stevie Gerrard at Anfield? The boy’s got to fill big boots: but he’s try­ ing.

8.42… no, that’s not the time Paul Lambert’s return train leaves New Street Station, it’s eight hours forty­

two minutes since his Aston Villa team scored a goal.

Lethargy even rules OK on the terraces as the rumoured Holte End protest never got going. And no wins in six Everton aren’t much better – they can’t even score with a penalty, especially when pushy Kevin Mirallas takes the ball from deadly penalty expert (15 from 16) Leighton Baines – and misses, right on half­time. Funny, kamikaze Kevin didn’t come out for the second half. Wonder why?

Have Crystal Palace got the ugliest strikers in the Prem? Burnley were the latest to watch the Puncheon Gayle show, showing the Clarets the way to do it. The Lancs lads languished from the luxury of losing a two goal lead twice in a week, first in the Cup midweek to Spurs, then on Saturday to three­wins­in­three Crystal Palace. Question for the ‘Glad all Over’s: has Alan Pardew found somewhere the fans actually like him?

Mind you, to be fair the new Selhurst Park jefe’s per­ centage win level stands up well against other UK­born managers.

Final fashion footnote: if the players’ haircuts are cur­ rently teetering, or should that be tittering on the extreme edge of style, have you noticed the managers’ mode of dress in these very inclement conditions?

Cool? It’s colder than a penguin’s chuff out there this winter in the coach’s ‘technical area’ near the touch­ line. Arsene Wenger favours the head­to­toe all­in­blue Brentford Nylons dressing gown look, but now that old shortie overcoat style that used to be sold by Dunn & Co seems to be the preferred choice of the new upwardly­mobile managers like Brendan Rodgers, Roberto Martinez and Sean Dyche.