The Courier - Edition 200

Edition 200

www.thecourier.es

Friday 19th December 2014

MERRY CHRISTMAS...

It’s double celebration time for us at The Courier as we’ve hit our 200th edition today and we are gearing up for Christmas and New Year holidays, which means that our next edition will come out on Friday January 9th! We do hope that you will miss us a lot but that there’ll be plenty of seasonal fun to keep you and nice and busy until we return in 2015!

Since The Courier first appeared in 2011, we have tried to bring you a comprehensive review of local and national news and sport, togeth­ er with a collection of columnists that are never short of an opin­

ion or some useful advice. Our priority is to give you a good read every week and not to be a second­rate adver­ tising magazine with unfiltered press releas­ es masking as news and journalism.

We are proud to be a newspa­ per!

The regular feedback that we get from our readers and valued advertisers show that our efforts are appreci­ ated and we have already made an early New Year’s resolution to continue building on what we have achieved over the last four years.

Thank you again for all your support, and have a wonderful holiday!

...AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

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Friday 19th December 2014

PLEASE NOTE: OUR OFFICES WILL BE CLOSED FROM 16.00 ON FRIDAY 19th DECEMBER 2014 UNTIL 10.30 ON WEDNESDAY 7th JANUARY 2015 FOR A WELL DESERVED BREAK! TELEPHONE

966 921 003 679 096 309 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1600 EDITOR Alex Trelinski LAYOUT & DESIGN James Bone ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491

WHAT AN ASS

An obese man has been arrested after he gate­crashed a live nativity scene in the Córdoba area of southern Spain and jumped onto the back of young donkey, who died to his weight. The 38­year­old was arrested after he jumped over a fence and leapt on to the animal, named Platero, who was part of a nativity scene in the town of Lucena. The donkey, who was just months old, who, along with the other animals in the nativity, was not meant to be touched by the public, died two days later.

Residents noticed that the donkey was barely able to stand, and he was taken to a local vet. The animal was then urgently transferred to a specialist clinic, but due to the severity of his internal injuries he had to be put down.

Lucena's council have confirmed that legal action will be taken if it was caused by the man. The town hall investigation was launched fol­ lowing a complaint by the animal rights wing of political party Podemos and the Association for the Defence of the Donkey (Adebo), after a pho­ tograph of the gurning man on the donkey appeared on social media sites.

“The donkey was literally squashed by the man,” the groups said in their complaint.

The animal rights group Peta said there was "no excuse for the pain that this donkey endured from his internal injuries or for his horrible death".

Organisers of the living crib "now have the blood of this poor donkey on their hands", Peta added.

BRIT FOUND

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

A British man suffering with Alzheimer’s has been found safe and well in the Calasparra area of Murcia, after having gone missing for a day. His dis­ appearance was reported by his wife on Monday evening, and emergency services found him in Hoya Gallego on Tuesday, suffering from hypother­ mia but with no other injuries.

Parents in the Valencia region, including Costa Blanca, will be voting today (Friday December 19th) in an online public opinion poll to find out which lan­ guage they would prefer their children to be taught in. The regional government plans to launch a new multi­lingual curriculum which will allow pupils to leave school with a reasonable working knowledge of English, and fluency and accu­ racy in both Spanish and the regional Valenciano language.

Two programmes have been proposed – one where the main lingua franca of the classroom is Valenciano, and another where Castilian Spanish, or Castellano is the main teaching language. Anyone whose child goes to a State school in the region can take part in today’s vote, having been given a pass­ word and username before today to access the special website.

Which main teaching language should be used in schools is an issue that has long divided parents with some preferring their children to be taught in Valenciano as it is the language they speak at home and will allow them to com­ pete for civil service jobs in adulthood, whereas others prefer their kids to be educated in Castellano so they are not limited to living in the same region when they reach university or working age. The extent to which Valenciano is spoken across the region differs greatly with it hardly spoken at all or understood in the southern half of Alicante Province.

Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, per­ haps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents

– or happier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday 19th December 2014

CHRISTMAS GREETINGS

Costa Blanca’s top radio station, TKO FM, is giving you the chance to link up with your family and friends this Christmas Day morning with a special show hosted by Peter Hurst. The popular pre­ senter will be on with a spe­ cial Family Favourites pro­ gramme between 9.00 am and 11.00 am on 91.9 FM and also on­line via TKO.es. Peter is looking to build up your dedications and requests ahead of the big day this Thursday and you can send your messages(as well as the name of the tune that you want to hear) via E­mail to studio@tko.fm and put Peter’s name in the subject section, so that he gets all your details.

BAD PLANNING

The General Plan for Los Montesinos which sought permission for one of the smallest municipalities in the Vega Baja region to rise from five thousand to thirty thousand resi­ dents has been thrown out by the regional gov­ ernment, at an estimat­ ed cost of 300 thou­ sand euros, some of which was spent to hire consultants to up the flawed proposals. A report in the Informacion newspaper says that the Mayor, José Manuel Butrón(pictured), and his PSOE team had made a fundamental error in putting forward proposals for two mil­ lion square metres of land, whilst they were limited to a maximum area of 400 thousand square metres. Meanwhile, the Mayor is under­fire on anoth­ er front after being accused by the opposition Partido Popular of not going through the appropriate procedures in hiring his daughter for six months of work at the Town Hall.

The PP say that the legal length of 20 days was not observed in advertising and filling the 11 and a half thousand euro posi­ tion which was funded by a public grant, claiming that the whole procedure was done in just two days. Deputy Mayor, Ana Belen Juarez, has rubbished the claims saying that proper procedures were followed and that if laws were bro­ ken, then the PP should denounce them in court.

HELPING HAND

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BOARDWALK EMPIRED

Over a quarter of a million euros is to be handed out for projects across the Vega Baja thanks to the Alicante Provincial Council. Torrevieja will use 50 thousand euros towards improving the Plaza del Molino de la Tejera (pic­ tured), whilst San Miguel de Salinas will improve the road system in La Ciudad de las Comunicaciones, and there’ll be road improvements around Los Montesinos.

GRIPE OVER GRAPES

A 25 member grape rustling gang has been smashed in the Murcia region in ‘Operation Grape’. The Guardia Civil have been investigating thefts from several farms since September and have so far recovered three thousand kilos of grapes. Most of the robberies took place last month, with cheap grapes being sold in local markets at knockdown prices, which alerted the Guardia to make their move on the rustlers. False invoices were issued to cover the illegal oper­ ation with a San Javier man being arrested for drawing up the bogus documentation.

Emergency work on improving parts of the local coastline that were damaged by last month’s storms has been autho­ rised by the Ministry of Environment that have given 1.1 mil­ lion euros to local councils to carry out repairs. In the Torrevieja area work will focus on Los Locos beach, including repairs to the wall and removing debris in the sand. Structural repairs to parts of the wooden boardwalk (pictured) at La Mata are also scheduled due to the additional resources.

I’M DREAMING OF A DRY XMAS

Heavy rains hit Alicante Province last Sunday, and ran into Monday morning. The highest waterfalls on Sunday were recorded in Elche, followed by Torrevieja and Orihuela. The good news is that forecasters are predicting a dry and sunny Christmas Day as opposed to the heavy downpours that hit the big day last year.

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Friday 19th December 2014

BEETLE LUCK OF THE DRAW BATTLE Callosa del Segura, Pilar de la Horadada, and San Miguel de Salinas have been included on a Valencia Government watch­list in their battle against the pine shoot beetle which has devastated trees across the region. 119 municipalities are now on the list which essentially means that pine trees have to be treated and protected irrespective of whether or not they are on public or private land. Exceptionally dry weather over the last couple of years has led to an increase in the number of beetles as well as trees being weaker due to a lack of water. Meanwhile Orihuela council have said this week that they’ve had to chop down around 100 pines on Monte de San Miguel that have been infected by the pest.

Most of Spain will come to a halt this Monday morning with the 202nd El Gordo national draw.

Meanwhile, a disabled association has called for the Christmas lottery to be suspended because it ‘uses minors’ to promote it. Every year on December 22nd, the children from the San Ildefonso primary school in Madrid ‘sing’ the win­ ning numbers as they draw them out, a tradition dating back decades.

But the organisation OID has filed legal action with the youth prosecution services against what it calls ‘child labour’. It says images on TV show chil­ dren selling tickets, which it considers to be against the law. Instead, the organisation wants to see ‘per­ sons representative of the disabled community’ drawing the winning numbers on the TV. Around 125 million euros worth of tickets are estimated to have been sold ahead of Monday’s draw, with especially brisk sales reported around areas of Alicante Province, which have been allocated more tickets compared to recent years. Lottery chiefs say that there’s been around a 15 per cent rise in sales, turning round annual falls which have been happening since 2009.

BYE BYE

NO MESSING

300 Martial Arts experts, including a contingent from Britain, hit San Pedro del Pinatar last weekend for the World Martial Arts, Personal Defence, and Sports Contact Championships at the Príncipe de Asturias Hall. The event was officially opened by San Pedro Mayor, Visitation Martinez, who said the area was proud to host the event, which had been organised by the Spanish Martial Arts Federation, Feamyda.

COME FLY WITH US

Budget airline EasyJet is introducing two new routes for the 2015 high season from Alicante­Elche airport. Services will run to Hamburg and Rome between March and October, with EasyJet saying they plan to transport a total of 1.4 mil­ lion passengers to and from the facility at El Altet.

EasyJet’s Spain CEO, Javier Gándara, said that "the opening of the two new routes reflects the way the company is expanding in the country. Alicante­Elche is one of the main airport for the airline in Spain and the proof is that we are expanding to 14 destinations, which is a very significant fig­ ure and demonstrates our commitment to the region.”

Almoradi’s Mayor is calling it quits after 16 years in the job.

Antonio Angel Hurtado said he was retiring from politics and leaving with his head held high this coming May, with the authority not in debt. The main front­runner to replace him at the top of the PP list is finance councillor, María Gómez.

CRISTINA COUGHS UP… EVENTUALLY

Princess Cristina, the sister of Spain's King Felipe paid up a civil bond of nearly 600 thousand euros on Monday in her latest attempt to clear her name in a long­running corruption scandal. The princess coughed up the public liability bond after a recent demand from the public prosecutor in the case, Pedro Horrach. The payment though didn’t go through without an element of farce, with Cristina’s lawyers initially putting it into the wrong account, having paid it into the bank of the court of Barcelona, rather than that of Palma de Mallorca which is handling her case. The mistake was high­ lighted when the court of Palma claimed it had not received the payment plus interest.

The sum totals half the funds allegedly obtained illegally via Aizoon, a company Cristina jointly held with her husband Iñaki Urdangarin and which investigators say was used as a front for laundering public money embezzled from a charita­ ble sports foundation. Cristina's lawyer, Miquel Roca, had earlier said the money would be paid immediately to free Cristina of "both civil and criminal responsibility". The Princess is still facing two charges of tax fraud in the case which has damaged the Spanish monarchy.

FUELING DISPAIR

Energy poverty is on the rise in Alicante Province as the recession continues to bite. Electricity companies and chari­ ties are said to be helping over 130 thousand impoverished families across the region, which includes Iberdrola helping thousands of families in difficulties through their social bond which consists of a freeze on electricity rates. Water compa­ nies have been doing the same, whilst the Red Cross has allocated financial aid to hundreds of families to help pay for electricity bills. In Alicante City alone, figures suggest that the number of people unable to pay their utility bills has trebled over the last year.

STUBBED OUT

A tobacco shop in Callosa de Segura was rammed by a van with a significant amount of goods taken. Reports sug­ gest that the van had been stolen earlier in the evening.

Meanwhile, in nearby Rafal, the local police have raided a tobacco kiosk and impounded 59 cartons of cigarettes being sold illegally, having been imported from Morocco.

Friday 19th December 2014

STUFFED UP

Four Moroccan drug dealers have been arrested by the Guardia Civil after officers found hashish tablets stuffed down their socks. The men aged between 30 and 42, were peddling the drugs around San Javier, San Pedro, Los Alcazares, and Torre Pacheco, and were trav­ elling in a car when they aroused the suspicions of the Guardia officers at a checkpoint.

Besides the 30 tablets, 750 euros was seized in addition to the car itself.

SKATING HEAVEN

Santa Pola’s new skating park will be officially opened tomorrow (Saturday), with the major proportion of the 452 thousand euro project being subsidised by the Madrid government. The facility, next to the Els Xiprerets Pavilion, takes in five thousand square metres, with different types of areas for different abilities across disciplines like skateboarding and roller­blading, with young potential users advising on what should be provided. The park is viewed as a major tool in helping to attract sports tourism to the area, with the official opening at midday featuring a special skateboarding display.

JEWEL COWARDS NABBED

14 members of a gang that specialised in robbing elderly people across Alicante Province have been arrested by the National Police. The two month investigation found that the thieves, 13 of which were Romanian, would target senior citizens as they were taking money out of ATM machines and they would also rob them of jewellery before selling it off on the black market to countries like Romania.

On many occasions the victims were violently attacked by the thieves, after they had been hugged by the assailants who would pretend to know them as they snatched purses and demanded jewellery. Authorities say that arrests were made in Alicante City, Jacarilla, Benidorm and Villena.

FOOTBALL COLLARS

Police have arrested 32 people as part of an investigation into the death of a football fan.

Two men were arrested for the alleged murder of Deportivo La Coruna fan Francisco Javier Romero Taboada in Madrid in November. The remaining 30 face accusations relating to vio­ lence before Atletico Madrid played Deportivo La Coruna.

Mr Romero Taboada was pulled from the Manzanares River following the fight and died later as a result of injuries. The 43­year­old was found with head injuries and hypothermia and was suffering from cardiac arrest. Fans of the two teams clashed in the streets ahead of the game in Madrid, leaving 11 other people injured. The suspects were apprehended in Madrid, Avila and Toledo.

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Friday 19th December 2014

A BREAD-TIME STORY

I WAS discussing cosmic cataclysms and the origins of the universe with my six­year­old grandson the other day (as one does) when he asked me a question.

'How can God live in the sky without falling down on top of us?' he wanted to know.

'Excellent question, my lad,' I said. 'But I haven't the foggiest idea.'

'Would Nana know?' my grandson asked.

'Feel free to ask her ­­ she likes to think she knows everything. But you'll have to wait until she gets back from the sweet shop. She's returning an Aero bar because it was full of little holes.'

But my grandson was really on the scent of new knowledge. He wanted to know and he wanted to know NOW. 'Grandpa, do you think that God is made out of Lego?'

In a desperate attempt to change the subject (well, not exactly change it but take a slight detour) I said: 'When I was your age I didn't play with Lego.

'We kids had Meccano sets which had metal strips and girders and axle rods and pinions and wheels and plates with holes in them which we fastened togeth­ er with nuts and bolts to make all sorts of stuff.'

'Wow!' exclaimed my grandson. 'Did you make dinosaurs? There must have been loads of real ones around when you were a boy.'

'No, lad,' I chortled. 'I created little buggies and bulldozers and other fun vehicles. I would race them around the living room until they crashed into the skirting boards or bounced off my pet tortoise and the wheels flew off.'

My grandson looked amazed. 'Wow, Grandpa, you had a pet tortoise on wheels? I bet it went really fast.'

I chuckled again, very much tickled by the naivety of childhood. 'No, my boy. It was my toy cars which had the wheels attached. My tortoise, although named Speedy, was very much a slowcoach who had to rely on his own little legs.'

My grandson giggled. 'What a silly Grandpa you must have been.'

'I wasn't actually,' I said. 'Yes you were,'

the boy insisted. 'Nana told me.'

As if on cue, Mrs S arrived home from the shops. 'Has your grandpa been keeping you entertained? Did he tell you that I was returning a bar of Aero because it had holes in it? That's your grandfather's only joke these days. He even told that lie to the vicar when he came to call and I was out. The poor man hasn't been back since.'

'Serves you right,' I sniffed. 'You shouldn't tell everyone that I was a crackpot as a kid.'

Mrs S laughed out loud. 'Tell our grandson about the toast.'

'Yeah, what about the toast?' asked our grandson.

Mrs S recounted the story. 'When Grandpa was a little boy he overheard

someone say that a dropped piece of toast always lands on its buttered side.

So later that day he crept into the kitchen, toasted a slice of bread and, without spreading any butter on it, dropped it onto the floor.'

'But why, Nana?'

'Because he thought that if it wasn't buttered, the toast wouldn't be able to land on the floor and would therefore float in the air for­ ever.'

My grandson giggled. 'That IS silly.'

'But not to Grandpa,' said Mrs S. 'The little clever­clogs tried his daft experiment with every piece of bread in the house. When his moth­ er entered the kitchen she found toast all over the floor and had to chuck it in the bin.'

'But I was a child then,' I pointed out. 'You were going on 15 then!' Mrs S also pointed out. 'Anyway, young 'un,' she said, turning to our grand­ son, 'What would you like for your lunch?'

'Anything but toast,' he said. 'Can I have baked beans on cream crack­ ers?'

My grandson slept over that night and as Mrs S and I climbed into bed later that evening, she said to me: 'You WERE a crazy kid, you know.

Your mother swore blind that you would attach Meccano wheels to your pet tortoise and race it around the room.'

With my self­worth turning rapidly to toast, I heard a little voice call out: 'Grandpa, can you come into my bed­ room, please.'

Oh, no, I thought, not another reli­ gious discussion. Hadn't I answered enough of the boy's questions that morning?

But not to worry, my grandson wanted only a drink of water.

But then as I left his room, I felt a jolt of searing pain. 'God in Heaven!' I shrieked and looked down to discover that I had trod­ den barefoot on a piece of Lego.

Friday 19th December 2014

THREE YEAR STRETCH

A 62 year old woman who was sentenced to three year behind bars for driving 35 kilome­ tres on the wrong carriageway of the motorway between Elche and Sant Joan in Alicante has had her sentence upheld at Elche Provincial Court. Her lawyers have argued that the three years handed to her was too severe after she was convicted of reckless driving with disre­ gard for the lives for others, and that she panicked and did not know what to do when she realised she was on the wrong carriageway. She’s also been prohibited from driving motor vehicles for eight years.

PRICE DROP

The Spanish inflation rate fell in November for the fifth month running, with the figures at minus 0.5 percent for November on a seasonally adjusted basis, following a 0.2 percent drop in October. The fall was driven largely by reductions in transport and energy prices. Falling prices may sound good for the consumer, but they can trigger deflation where businesses and households delay purchases, throttling demand and driving companies to lay off work­ ers.

“GHOST” SET TO OPEN

One of Spain’s infamous “ghost” airports is set to open having been empty for nearly four years since it was officially “opened” in March 2011. Castellon airport in the northern part of the Valencia region has been the green light to start operating by the air safety agency AESA. The airport was developed to serve a huge resort that was never built, with another airport already operating in Valencia just 50 kilometres away. The authorisation to begin operating arrives in the low tourist season and no flights are expected to start operating until the com­ ing summer, when the airport claims that it will get 35 thousand passengers in 2015.

Other unopened “ghosts” include Murcia’s Corvera airport, which at least had test calibra­ tion flights last week; Ciudad Real, about 200 kilometres south of Madrid, which cost one bil­ lion euros to build; and Huesca in the foothills of the Pyrenees which opened in 2007 and is mostly empty.

KIDNAP COCK-UP

A Catalonia policeman appears to have been mistakenly kid­ napped, beaten up, and then dumped in a forest. Police are inves­ tigating the incident in which an officer from the city of Lleida was taken by three masked men, assaulted and abandoned in woods.

The gangs are thought to have followed the copper after he com­ pleted his shift, pursuing him until just before he reached his home.

Wearing balaclavas, they then seized him and gagged him before taking him to the forest where they beat him up. However, as they were kicking the police officer they reportedly told him: "Pay what you owe." This has led to investigators to believe the policeman was mistaken for someone else, and are now trying to work out the identity of the kidnappers.

GAME UP

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Six pimps have been arrested by the National Police in a Cartagena club on the Mazarron road. They’ve been accused of running prostitutes out of the venue and been charged with a variety of crimes including belonging to a criminal gang and infringing workers’ rights. Several foreign women were used by the club management for their illegal business, with the arrested men being of Spanish and Columbian nationality aged between the mid­20’s and the mid­40’s. The police also say the club was used for the sale of drugs

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Friday 19th December 2014

JINGLE DOESN’T JANGLE Supermarket chain Mercadona has patented its famous 'jingle', which it says has become a top trending topic online. Shoppers from 4.8 million households in Spain visit the 1,521 branches of the store, which originally started up in the Valencia region, every day and – love it or hate it – Mercadona's trademark jingle becomes an 'earworm' for the rest of the day for every customer after they walk out with their carrier bags.

It was actually composed 30 years ago, the company reveals, and record­ ed in the studio in Alboraia, just outside Valencia city, founded by local musician Lluís Miquel. At the time, the studios – based in the middle of the Albufera wetlands and rice fields – saw famous artists such as María del Mar Bonet and Pi de la Serra record their works inside.

The studios closed down two years ago, but the jingle remains alive and well and is con­ stantly mentioned on social networks – in October alone, 2,000 internet users commented on threads relating to the Mercadona theme tune, but it has sometimes reached as many as 18,000 mentions online per day. Its application for copyright was filed on November 12th this year and has just become official.

NUKES AWAY

Greenpeace activists have dodged lengthy prison sentences after breaking into Spain’s most powerful nuclear plant. A total of 16 activists and a photojournalist faced up to three years in jail – and fines of up to 357 thousand euros – for damage caused at the Iberdrola­ run Cofrentes plant, near Valencia. The Valencian court instead fined each activist €1,080 and Greenpeace a further €2,232 for damage to a fence at the plant, which produces 5% of the country’s electricity overall.

LIFE’S A GAS SMOKED LUNCH

Spanish mains gas prices are being cut by three per cent from January 1st. Reduced crude oil prices mean that pro­ duction costs have fallen, allowing savings to be passed onto customers.

A woman had to be treated for smoke inhalation after a five storey building in Torrevieja had to be evacuated on Tuesday lunchtime, after a fire broke out in a kitchen. The drama unfolded on Calle Canónigo Torres as the woman was preparing lunch and she was safely led out of the building and suffered only mild shock, as fire tenders put out the blaze which created a lot of smoke in the area.

PRESENTS OF DEATH

Over 220,000 toys have been seized from toy­sellers in Madrid in an operation named Black Toy, with the National Police saying they posed a serious risk to child safety. The toys were listed as dangerous products under the govern­ ment’s Red de Alerta system, which is based on the quick sharing of information about products which could be a risk to consumers, between the different departments responsi­ ble for safety.

Authorities said that the risks the toys posed included asphyxiation and poisoning. Police searched a total of 16 premises, from which they also took items that were deemed counterfeit and others that posed a serious fire risk.

Friday 19th December 2014

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Friday 19th December 2014

LOCAL LOOK-IN

ADAPTING TO MO REMEMBERED CHANGE A charity golf day organised by The Friendly Bar, at the Citrus Centre in Playa Flamenca has seen over fourteen hundred euros raised for the AECC cancer charity. The event was especially poignant as the donation was made to Maria and the Pink Ladies by Clive Grice on behalf of his late wife Mo, who had passed away due to cancer. The day was put together to remember Mo, and the Pink Ladies especially thank the bar owners, Dave and Jean, as well as everybody that took part

Jane Cronin has stepped down as President of San Pedro del Pinatar’s ADAPT associa­ tion, which was formed to foster links between the local Spanish community and people from other countries who have moved into the area. Cronin was the founder of the group and after six years at the helm, she has accepted a future role on the committee, though a far less demanding one than president and she intends to continue with the annual pantomime and other projects in San Pedro. She was presented with a bouquet and a bottle of bubbly in grateful appreciation of all her efforts over her time in charge. The AGM also saw Janet Pierce stepping down after four years of her hard work being the ADAPT secretary. The pho­ tograph shows from left to right the incoming president John Frame, Jane, Janet and the new secretary, Irene Frame.

A DOG’S LIFE!

14 years on from being formed, The Campoverde Canine Club is still going strong, teaching obedience for dogs (and their owners!) with plenty of fun to go along with it. The latest obedience courses were celebrated with winners being presented with certificates and trophies at the Polideportivo Sports ground, at Pinar de Campoverde. A Fun Day with various tasks preceded the presentations, with the Character of the Year award going to an amazing Jack Russell called Alfie and his owner Susan Beckett (pictured). New courses get going on Saturday January 3rd and if you are interested in training your four legged friend, then please contact Roy on 966 762 265 or E­ mail:­ campoverdecanineclub@outlook .com

FLYING HIGH

Are you looking to make some new friends as well as helping out serving or ex­RAF per­ sonnel and their families in times of need? Then why not join the Costa Blanca Branch of the Royal Air Forces Association who meet every third Tuesday afternoon of the month at 2.30pm at the El Paraiso restaurant which is close to the Carrefour Hypermarket in Torrevieja.

The members also enjoy regular lunches at a variety of restaurants as well as visits to places of interest and joining in with the local festivities in support of our Spanish hosts.

If you want to find out more, then contact the Chairman, David Barnes on 968 574 803 or visit their website www.rafacb.com

SANTA’S COMING

There’s plenty of seasonal fun coming up in the San Fulgencio and La Marina urbanisation areas in the next week or so.

Christmas carols and traditions from across a number of countries will be cele­ brated at the Urb.Marina Social Centre from 6.00pm this evening(Friday December 19th), whilst Father Christmas will be taking time out from his busy sched­ ule to visit San Fulgencio and the Urb.Marina Social Centre on Christmas Eve(Wednesday) from 5.30pm.

You can hand in your presents on Tuesday December 23rd at the Offices for the Urbanisations on Calle Madrid 5 between 9.30am and 2.00pm, which Father Christmas will hand to your young­ sters the following night. We have it on good authority from his helpers that he will start on Christmas Eve at 5.30pm travel­ ling around the Urb.Marina before going to the Social Centre to hand out the toys to the children, where they can have they can have their photo taken with him. He will then travel down to San Fulgencio village to meet the chil­ dren there.

LUNCHING LADIES

Over sixty members of the ”Ladies who Lunch” group shared some Christmas spirit recently along with their guests for their December luncheon at Let’s Eat in Benimar.

It started with a cava reception and conclud­ ed with delicious warm meringue minces pies to accompany the coffee!

Besides the social aspects, the group enjoy supporting local charities, and December’s request was for a small raffle prize which supports general funds plus a

wrapped gift for families that are supported by the Torrevieja­based homeless charity, Reach Out. As the photo shows, there was a hearty response!

The January lunch is being held at Paco’s in Guardamar Campo, and anybody who is interested in joining the group which meets normally on the first Wednesday of the month at different restaurants should contact either Janine Williams on 966 261 359 or Maddie Pinfold on 966 078 646.

Friday 19th December 2014

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LOCAL LOOK-IN CAROLS GALORE

Many nationalities led by representatives of the British community came together in Torrevieja’s Plaza de la Constitucion last Friday evening for the 12th annual Carol Concert. The event was attended by the Mayor, Eduardo Dolon, along with other civic dignitaries. The music was sup­ plied by the Phoenix Band under director Julie Schofield with the Torrevieja Municipal School Choir taking part for the first time.

SUPPORT NEEDED

Can you help the Torrevieja Stroke Support(TSS) team by join­ ing them as a secretary? The TSS President, Paul Owen, would love to hear from you if you think the job is for you, with the right person having experience of committee work and handling petty cash. TSS is also looking for more volunteers who will be able to provide support to stroke sufferers and their carers. For more details, phone Paul on 966 246 229 or 625 847 170. Email:­ strokesup­ portgroup@hotmail.com or visit the website:­ www.torreviejastrokesup­ port.org

FESTIVE FUN

HELP Murcia Mar Menor’s Friendship Club had a fun packed Xmas lunch at San Javier’s Caravan Club, which include a festive raffle which raised just over 500 euros for the charity.

Over 70 members attended an enjoyable get­ together which helped to finish the year on a high note.

ANNIE HACKS IT

Golfers from the La Marina Hackers Golf Society were more than happy to hand over some money on Monday night to help boost the Elche Childrens’ Home Xmas Present fund! Annie English, who is one of the fund­raisers for the home, was presented with a cheque for 100 euros at the Woodstock Bar on the Urb.Marina, which has been donated over the last year by the society members. New players are more than welcome to join and they play on the first Wednesday of every month. More details can be obtained by calling Corky on 664 013 129.

BARGAIN TIME

The last event of 2014 for Help at Home Mar Menor saw the charity get a 500 euro boost by selling their wares at the Bacchus Craft Fayre. Over 100 peo­ ple turned up to grab a bar­ gain from one of the many stalls, and entertainment was provided by the Spangles Ladies Harmony Chorus. HAH and their President, Paul Eburne, passes on seasonal greet­ ings to all of the charity’s volunteers, clients, and supporters.

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Friday 19th December 2014

Friday 19th December 2014

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Friday 19th December 2014

MY ATHIEST CHRISTMAS

With just days to go before Christmas our thoughts should be really be turning to the reasons for this celebration and what it is all about. Of course the clue is in the name itself which tells us that this is a time to celebrate the birth over two thousand years ago of a baby boy who was called Jesus. Most people are aware of this fact although as time goes by it seems to be less and less impor­ tant when toys and presents become the focus of the last few months of the year. Plans are made, food and gifts bought and preparations finished to make December 25th as special a celebration as can be. Sadly food and drink; as well giving and receiving(mainly receiving) seem to have become the main emphasis of this day, and Jesus doesn´t seem to get a look in on the action. I have written before about my religious beliefs and at this time of year I begin to question some things.

I have been an atheist for as long as I can remember, and I don´t think there was ever a time when I believed in any God, as it´s just not in my life. I respect everyone´s beliefs and would be the last to criticise, although it´s the opposite to what I think I know. We are all free to follow the ideals that we wish as long as no one is getting hurt and religion isn´t being used as an excuse to do terrible things as has so often been the case. I can then respect anyone´s choice even though it is far removed from mine.

So, with Christmas being a religious festival I began to question my involvement in it. To be honest before I had chil­ dren I never bothered about the festive season. As a police officer I would always volunteer to work Christmas Day to allow those who so wished to be with their loved ones on that day. Many Christmases in the past have been spent

alone with a ready meal and the EastEnders Christmas Special on the television. But now I have my son, I realise that it is important to have the Christmas tree and decora­ tions and lights gently flickering in the early evening dusk.

Presents neatly wrapped and the magic of this time of year is welcomed in my house but am I being a hypocrite? I don´t believe in God and although I think someone called Jesus may very well have lived in Nazareth all those years ago and he may even have died on a cross. I don´t believe he was the son of any God. I don´t believe there is a heaven or hell

and I don´t think the world was created in seven days, so why am I buying into this time of year?

Why am I allowing these ideals into my house?

I have never been the type of mother to tell her children what to believe, I answer my son´s ques­ tions about religion as honestly as I can and tell him what I believe and what other people think. I have always tried to be honest and if I don´t have an answer I tell him that I will try and find out.

I do want my son to know why we are celebrat­ ing, and what the idea is behind Christmas as much as I can and I want this to be a magical, spe­ cial time for him. I asked some of my students if they thought I was showing double standards by not believing and yet celebrating and they all said no. It was not hypocritical because it is a tradition and the way we have been brought up. I would never not celebrate this time while my son is young but I will treat it more as a family rather than a religious celebration. I will treat the holidays as a time to be with my boy and spend quality time with him, whilst reminding him why it is called Christmas as despite whatever I think, it is a reli­ gious time and that can´t be taken away. I´ll be reminding him though that I don´t particularly believe in any of it and hope that he doesn´t start with the typical seven year old’s awkward questions!

Let me take this opportunity to wish you all a safe, happy and healthy Christmas. Take care of yourself and do check on your neighbours, especially the very old and very young.

Don´t drink and drive do and have a great Christmas and a fantastic New Year´s Eve. I might see you out and about if you´re near Almoradí for New Year´s Eve, so have fun and make the most of this fantastic time of year!

15

Friday 19th November 2014

BRIT KILLJOYS ARE A JOKE

MY column wouldn´t be complete without high­ lighting some of the usual British silliness. For many years it has been tradition for the hardened (or fool­ hardy) whichever way you look at it, to have a Christmas Day, Boxing Day or New Year´s Day dip in the sea. But guess what? The 'elf and safety brigade have managed to get their claws into that as well as everything else . In Brighton, the tradition goes back 150 years, but now the council has decided it will close the beach on safety fears.

It is a result of a man get­ ting into difficulties in the sea earlier this year and a swimmer having to be res­ cued while taking part three years ago. The problem has been that over the past decade the 30 swimmers have been joined on the beach by around 4,000 rev­ ellers, many of them the worse for wear. Officialdom is worried that drunken rev­ ellers might be tempted to get into the sea and drown.

Few pleasures in life don´t have some degree of dan­ ger ­ even having sex can bring about a heart attack.

Now there´s something the 'elf and safety brigade can get their teeth into!

How about this for anoth­ er example of British silli­ ness? A campaign has been launched to ban Sir Tom Jones' hit song Delilah from being sung at Welsh rugby matches.

Why? Because some believe the unofficial Welsh rugby anthem glorifies domestic violence. A 71­year­old is leading the campaign to stop the song being sung at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff because it depicts a brutal revenge killing of a cheating woman. Whatever next? Shakespeare´s plays are more than a little grue­

some, perhaps they should go ­ I´m sure most school­ children would agree. What about some historical art?

And why not heavily censor news coverage, after all, we have to protect the public from every single bit of nas­ tiness in life, don´t we! Yes, I understand there are some who don´t like the look of the real world. Come to think of it, nor do I sometimes!

ACCORDING to the PDSA there is a pet welfare crisis in Britain.

It´s manifested in a dramatic rise in dog aggression b e t w e e n other dogs and humans, destructive behaviour and pet obe­ sity, which is rampant.

I would be interested to hear what The Courier´s dog expert, Peter Singh, has to say a b o u t whether it’s as bad in Spain, but the PDSA say that dog aggression in the UK is rising at an alarming level. A quarter of a million dogs are behaving aggres­ sively towards people every week, and dog hostility towards other pets, includ­ ing attacks, is rising annual­ ly to over 600,000. The rea­ sons? A cocktail of bore­ dom, lack of training and socialisation and worryingly low levels of regular exer­ cise.

In short, there are many thousands of people who simply shouldn´t own a pet.

They´re motivated by the selfish “must have” mentali­ ty, and, once they have a

dog, don´t bother to train it properly, don´t exercise it properly and don´t allow it to socialise with other dogs.

80% of vets and vet nurses now predict there will be more overweight pets than healthy pets in five years time, and with 5.5 million pets being fed fatty treats, the pet obesity epidemic is set to balloon. What do they say ­ owners of dogs end up looking like their pets...fat people, fat children and fat

It´s no wonder that the NHS is in such a sorry state with so many in the population rushing to the doctor or the medicine cupboard every five minutes. My father used to be one of the world´s worst ­ thinking he had every ailment in the book if he got the slightest hint of a sore throat. It drove my mother to distraction. He used to take one pill for something, then another to counter the side effects of

pets. Heaven help us!

A STORY doing the rounds last week demon­ strated to me just what a nation of namby pamby, neurotic, hypochondriacs Britain has become. I read in disbelief that almost half of the population in the UK is regularly prescribed medi­ cines. The Health Survey for England, which provides a snapshot of the nation's health, shows 43 per cent of men and 50 per cent of women took at least one medicine in the last week.

This represents an average of 2.7 million items dis­ pensed every day in the UK.

the first, and so on and so on all day. Yet there was nothing wrong with him. He was a godsend to all the pill pushers for herbal reme­ dies! How to keep healthy is to let your body take care of itself. Don´t overeat, but always eat good, whole­ some foods, get a good night´s sleep and have at least 15 to 30 minutes of exercise every day.

Examine yourself now and again for strange lumps and bumps and put TCP on any cuts or sores. That´s the best medicinal formula in the world. It´s stood me in good stead for 70+ years. Of

course, if there is anything really wrong, you have to seek medical advice and not ignore it because some­ times even the most healthy body needs a helping hand sometimes, but not the way increasing numbers of peo­ ple are going to extremes.

HOW can the UK govern­ ment be so stupid? Can you imagine anyone in their right mind allowing foreign crimi­ nals and even a murderer to be given a British passport?

But that´s what the “not fit for purpose” H o m e O f f i c e have done ­ including g i v i n g passports to tens of thousands of illegal i m m i ­ grants.

Officials have failed to carry out even b a s i c checks on more than 200,000 migrants applying for British citizenship every year, it said. The shambles allowed criminals and others with ‘very poor immigration histo­ ries’ to obtain a passport – allowing them access to the jobs market, benefits and public services. With pass­ ports being handed out at a record rate of more than 200,000 every year, it has also turned into a huge money­spinner for the Home Office. On average, the cost of processing an application is £144. The cost to a migrant of applying is £906 – a profit of £762. In 2013, the Home Office raked in £152million dealing with citi­

zenship claims. For years the public has been showing extreme anger at the ridicu­ lous scale of immigration into Britain, putting consider­ able strain on housing, edu­ cation and health services.

Yet it seems as far as gov­ ernment is concerned it is business as usual ­ turning a blind eye and let them all in.

Crazy or what? The Tories blame the legacy of an immigration system in com­ plete disarray under the pre­ vious Labour government.

Labour accuse the Tories of not getting a grip on immi­ gration while in office, and promising to put it all right if they get into power again.

Oh yes, pull the other one!

There´s only one party which will, and that´s neither Labour or Conservative.

AND finally, have you ever lost your car in a car park? I did last week ­ I told my "friends" about it later and have been the butt of every joke going ever since. It was in the Zenia Boulevard underground car park where I was in a hurry and forgot to take note of where I left it in a nearly empty parking zone. After spending a long time buying the other half´s Xmas presents, I returned to where I thought the car was ­ and it wasn´t there. The car park by then was far busier, and I walked round and round and finally gave up, and walked home, thinking by then the car had been stolen (not too far thankful­ ly). Later my wife and I returned and she found the b....y car in five minutes flat!

It was on the other side of the park to where I thought I had parked it. Have you done anything like this?

Come on, be honest, a twenty­something I confided in said she had done the very same thing ­ which made me feel a whole lot better! Experiences please to The Courier.

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Friday 19th December 2014

Spanish 153 ¡Hola, feliz navidad! Hi and welcome to my last Spanish article before Christmas. I will be back in the New Year with some more Spanish for you to practise and learn but be sure to continue over this festive period speaking, reading and writing Spanish as well as listening to the language whenever you can. I hope you have Spanish television and are making the most of whichever types of programmes you like. I personally like the quizzes, especially ´Atrapa un millón´ and ´Ahora caigo´ since these are good for learners as the questions are written on the screen and you can lis­ ten to the pronunciation as well as read the words. You can´t be expected to listen to Spanish all day, and even I like some English programmes but half an hour to an hour a day will go a long way to keeping the Spanish you have and improving it as well. I really hope that you don´t use this fortnight as an excuse to leave the language behind as it will become harder to get back into it in the New Year!

Remember that Spanish is to be enjoyed not suffered, but that said, it can be frustrating and along with the other stresses of this season it can be easier to leave it, all I can say it use Spanish as a way out of the worries, immerse yourself in the language for a time to forget the Christmas shopping, wrapping the presents, cleaning the house, preparing for guests and all the other endurances of this time. To help you do this, I am going to give you some words that you can think about when you are preparing and hopefully it will take your mind off the work that you have to do.

Here are some words associated with Christmas and then I will give you some phrases that you can use during this time: Christmas eve – nochebuena, Christmas / Christmas day – Navidad, Boxing Day – el sugundo día de navidad, New Year’s Eve – Nochevieja, New Year’s Day – año nuevo, Christmas tree – árbol de navidad, Star – estrella, Christmas presents – regalos de navidad, Father Christmas – papá noél, Reindeers – los renos, Sleigh – el

trineo, Christmas biscuits/cakes – dulces de navidad, nougat – turrón, sweet wine – la mistela, tinsel – las guirlandas, baubles – las bolas, Turkey – el pavo, Christmas carols – los villancicos, Jesus – Jesús, Mary – María, Joseph – José, Bethlehem – Belén, The three kings – los reyes magos, Shepherds – los pastores, Christmas stocking – la bota de papa noél, Now here are some phrases that you can use during the festive peri­ od: Merry Christmas and a happy new year! – ¡Feliz Navidad y pros­ pero año nuevo! Cheers! – ¡Salud!

Happy new year ­ ¡feliz año nuevo!

Where is Father Christmas? ­ ¿Dónde está papá noél? New year, new life – año nuevo vida nueva, In England, of course we leave a drink for Father Christmas on Christmas Eve and a carrot for Rudolph, but this is a fairly new tradition in Spain as people are not used to leaving things for Father Christmas since the Three Kings are more important. They are left a bucket of water and grass for their camels on the night of January 5th as the Kings bring the presents on the 6th. The tradition is changing however as the children go back to school usually on January 7th, so their parents are more inclined to give presents on the December 25th so their little ones have longer to play with them. It´s yet to be seen whether they begin to leave anything for Santa, or the reindeers! The Kings are called: Melchor, Gaspar y Baltazar and the chil­ dren write them letters for what they wish to receive. It seems an obvious choice to give presents on this day as this is the day the kings gave Jesus their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh (oro, incienso y mirra). Because of this festival the sales don´t start here in Spain until after the

January 6th, then you will see rebajas in all the main shops and can grab a bargain or two.

On the night of December 31st many Spanish people go to friends´ houses for a New Year´s Eve party, which is more traditional than going to a bar or club. They have a drink of cava and as the clock strikes twelve times, each person pops a grape into their mouth and tries to get to twelve grapes with each strike. Many Spaniards peel their grapes beforehand and ensure that they are free of pips, but it is still difficult to manage all twelve. I once managed to get to the sixth ring of the bells but had to stop there. It´s called las uvas de suerte (grapes of luck) however a mod­ ern twist for those so inclined is to swap the grapes for alcoholic shots (chupitos) this seems somewhat easier than grapes and may be my new tradition for seeing in the New Year, however my shots will most likely be something like red wine rather than proper shots!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy, peaceful Christmas, and everything you wish for in 2015. Os deseo muy feliz navidad y feliz año 2015.

Friday 19th December 2014

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Friday 19th December 2014

18

UNDERSTANDING IS VITAL “Sit, sit, sit”! Why is the world so obsessed with getting a dog to sit down? It’s complete ignorance towards a species that is much more intelligent than you and I. What is exactly accomplished by getting a dog to sit? Why can’t they stand if they want to? I have worked with dogs who can sit on com­ mand, without any problem, but in the next instance, they are trying to bite you. So sitting for me means absolutely nothing. What does matter to me is a dog’s state of mind.

Are they calm? Are they balanced? I could be a mass mur­ derer and break into your house. Just because I sit down first, does not mean that in a moment I would not get up and kill you! Police dogs are a typical example. They are trained to the highest standards in the world. But some, not all, can not be let off their lead in a place such as a park, with other dogs, because they would attack them. These dogs that do this are trained but not calm and balanced.

If you walked into my house and said sit to my dogs, they would look at each other and not have a clue what you are talking about, but the truth is that dogs are my teachers.

They simply teach me.

Dogs don’t have egos, most humans do. Dogs show instant forgiveness, most humans don’t. And dogs live in the moment, while most humans live in the past or the future. So given those facts, who should be teaching who? Looking deeper into a dogs eyes and understanding what they can offer you, is something that will change your life forever. It did for me. Look at the dog show world for example, like Crufts. You have owners who are trotting around a ring with their dogs, all to prove that their dog is better than someone else’s. The dog could not give a damn about winning first, second or third prize. They just want to be understood as a dog and not as something to be gawked at.

Most of the world have completely missed the message of what dogs have to teach us. All the media blab on about is how do you get a dangerous dog trained and to stop biting and all of which they do, just goes to prove that they are sim­ ply enforcing themselves onto the dog and not looking to fully understand what are a dog’s needs. Once you fulfil a

dog’s needs, calm and balance automat­ ically follows. That’s a fact. I know people who have been to my seminars, read my column every week, but when they meet me, they still talk about how to train their dog! Believe me, the human being, is the most stubborn and most difficult species in the world to change.

Every consultation I have ever done, every single one, has always been because the human has done something wrong with the dog first. Not one consultation has Dogs, our teachers resulted in it being the dog’s fault. I’m actually never working with the dog when I do a consultation. I’m working with the human, because if they don’t change then neither can the dog.

So this Christmas, the best ever present you can give your dog is understanding. Understanding that you have been lucky enough to have the most intelligent species in the world living with you, who constantly tries to change you for the better, but most owners just don’t see it or get it.

The world is surrounded by dogs who have shown the qualities of no ego, instant forgiveness and living in the moment since the beginning of time, while humans just seem to be getting better at starting wars, killing each other or are obsessed with fame and fortune. We the humans

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? DANI

Amber is a one year old little girl found abandoned tied to a gate post. She is good natured and doesn't mistrust anybody. She loves cuddles and to curl up by your side and enjoys going for a walk on a lead. Amber likes playing ball with you and gets on well with other dogs, and cats too. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

AMBER Balou is a six month old puppy who was found in Daya Nueva after she had been left for dead by her heartless owners. A K9 sup­ porter found her with the most horrendous wounds in her neck where someone had tried to remove her microchip. Full story and pic­ tures @ www.k9club.es Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for

more info www.k9club.es

746 or email p.e.p.a.ani­ malcharity@gmail.com

BALOU Belle is a small lab cross and was found wandering in La Font d’En Carros. Belle is a friendly happy girl who comes up to you wagging her tail and just wants to be loved. She enjoys going for her walks. Belle is ready to go to a home of her own, and would make a wonderful addition to any family. For more information about Belle please telephone the PEPA helpline on 650 304

BELLE

MAILA Maila’s mother is Keisha the Himalayan cat and now that her kittens are aged 11 weeks they are available for

adoption. All four kittens are very sociable and good with other cats. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Sapphire, Willow and Marvin are Beagle/ Podenco cross puppies, who are 15 weeks old and are really adorable. They are ready to go to new homes. They are as you can see beautiful and have amazing tempera­ ments. They all love cuddles and snuggling up to you and are all currently in foster homes and are been socialised with other dogs and cats. For more informa­ tion one of the pups please telephone the P.E.P.A. helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalchari­ ty@gmail.com

SAPPHIRE, WILLOW & MARVIN

have never been the most intelligent species, the intelligent ones are those that are now looking up at you with two big brown eyes, a wet nose and two big fluffy ears and they are called dogs. www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our char­ ity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogy­ ouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you.

CAN YOU NAME THE CHRISTMAS TUNE?

answers in next weeks edition

1.

6.

11.

2.

7.

12.

3.

8.

13.

4.

9.

14.

5.

10.

15.

Last Weeks Answers: 1) England - Tudor Rose 2) Nepal - Rhodedendron 3) Pakistan - Jasmine 4) Sri Lanka - Water Lily 5) Wales - Daffodil 6) Ireland - Shamrock 7) Austira - Edeweiss 8) Canada - Maple Leaf 9) France - Iris 10) Germany - Knap Weed 11) Holland - Tulip 12) Japan - Chrysanthemum 13) Portugal - Lavender 14) Scotland - Thistle 15) Spain - Red Carnation

TRELI ON THE TELLY BBC’S DRAMATIC YEAR

with ALEX TRELINSKI I always judge how good a general TV channel is by the quality of its drama. It’s a sign of how much bosses are prepared to invest to be original, and it’s been a cracking year for the BBC, and an awful one for ITV and Channel Four. In terms of new shows, Happy Valley starring Sarah Lancashire as a northern copper was totally gripping and I’d per­ haps give it my award as the best new British drama of the year. I would be putting Line of Duty into a very close joint second place, and though not strictly a new series (we had to wait two years), it felt like a fresh offering and the sharp dia­

logue and top acting absolutely worked. Line of Duty would share my plau­ dits along with The Missing (now Golden Globe award nominated) as a piece of must view BBC drama, which finished last Tuesday.

A mention as well for The Honourable Woman with Maggie Gyllenhaal, and in lighter vein, the enjoyable romp that was The Musketeers and the delight­ ful Our Zoo, which was woe­ ful mis­scheduled on a Wednesday night. Despite getting five million viewers and strong critical approval, the Beeb quietly announced last week that they’d pulled the Chester Zoo­based show. Not one of their finest hours for 2014 in a crass decision.

Elsewhere, Peter Capaldi really did make Doctor Who his own, and Julie

Hesmondhalgh stole the soap acting laurels for Hayley’s demise in Corrie.

Eastenders, under a new boss, has got people talking and watching again, and Downton Abbey has had more of a zing in its step. We sadly had to say goodbye to

legal drama, Silk, because creator Peter Bowker pulled the plug on it and gave us a daft ending, and we were richly rewarded with excel­ lent second runs of Peaky Blinders, Last Tango in Halifax, and The Fall. I repeat, what a great year for

the BBC, who will use next year’s closure of BBC Three, to fund even more drama leaving their commercial rivals looking bereft of ideas.

Turning Stateside, I would overall go for Fargo as the best new series of 2014, with belly laughs mixed in with the drama and top per­ formances from the likes of Martin Freeman and Billy Bob Thornton.

True Detective was outstanding fare led by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, and The Leftovers was a thought­ proving piece that asked many questions, but gave us few answers. All three dra­ mas return in 2015, with new casts and timelines for Fargo and True Detective. In the fun drama category, the best trio were The Last Ship, The Flash, and Gotham, proving that you can pro­

duce good quality “popcorn” entertainment that may not grab any awards, but get the viewer coming back for more.

The best turnaround of the year must be Homeland which has completely rein­ vented itself as a gripping spy caper full of surprises.

That’s far removed from the disappointing mush it had turned itself into after a bril­ liant first season, and I can’t think of too many shows that have pulled themselves that well from the brink of being pulled. Top marks as well go to a great comeback for 24, which after years off­screen, delivered big­time in a dozen breakneck episodes shot in London, and a far more fitting end(assuming that time has been called)to a ground­breaking show than the limp finale that we got back in 2010.

20

Friday 19th December

FRIDAY

19th DECEMBER

21:00 Text Santa

00:05 Skint 01:05 America's Fugitive Family 02:00 Embarrassing Bodies 02:55 One Born Every Minute 03:50 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 04:45 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 05:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Frasier 12:00 Jamie's Christmas with Bells On 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Great British Christmas with Sarah Beeny 14:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 The Missing Evidence 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Igam Ogam 07:10 Fireman Sam 07:20 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:35 Peppa Pig 07:45 Pip Ahoy!

07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:25 Lucky Christmas 14:15 5 News Lunchtime 14:20 Home and Away 14:50 Dear Secret Santa 16:35 A Christmas Kiss 18:30 5 News at 5 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Trespass 23:50 Shoot 'Em Up

00:05 American Pie Presents

00:00 The Vice

the Naked Mile

01:05 The Return of Sherlock

02:10 Two and a Half Men

Holmes

03:00 Dads

03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:20 Teleshopping

03:30 Teleshopping

06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:00 Faith in the Future

00:00 Bundesliga Football Highlights 01:00 River Monsters 02:05 Black Gold 02:50 Minder 03:40 Movies Now 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Greatest FA Cup Final Goals 07:10 Black Gold 07:50 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Pawn Stars 12:50 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 15:00 The Professionals 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters 22:00 Licence to Kill

00:35 This Week 01:20 Skiing Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Operation Meet the Street 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Oxford Street Revealed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:40 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Citizen Khan 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Not Going Out 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Posh People: Inside Tatler 01:20 Panorama 01:50 World's Greatest Food Markets 02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Empire 06:00 Design Challenge 06:30 Gastro Lab 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Saints and Scroungers 08:35 Oxford Street Revealed 09:20 Glorious Gardens from Above 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:25 Ready Steady Cook 15:10 The Great British Bake Off 16:10 A Place to Call Home 16:55 Restoring England's Heritage 17:25 Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain 18:25 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:30 Tom Kerridge Cooks Christmas 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Mary Berry's Absolute Christmas Favourites 22:00 Canterbury Cathedral 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 River Monsters

00:00 Family Guy 01:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:00 Some Girls 02:30 Russell Brand: End the Drugs War 03:30 Him & Her 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 20:15 Atlantis 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 23:00 Bad Education 23:30 EastEnders

00:30 The Secrets of Quantum Physics 01:30 Cosmonauts: How Russia Won the Space Race 02:30 Sounds of the Eighties 03:00 The Sky at Night 03:30 Puppy Love 04:00 Castles ­ Britain's Fortified History 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Diamonds Are Forever: The Don Black Songbook 22:00 The Joy of the Bee Gees 23:00 Bee Gees at the BBC and Beyond

DON’T MISS

PEARL HARBOUR 21:00 - ITV2

01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street

07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 The Darling Buds of 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Emmerdale 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale

Second World War romantic drama starring Ben Affleck, Josh 14:15 You've Been Framed!

May 09:25 The Darling Buds of May 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Sherlock Holmes: The Master Blackmailer 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 Pollyanna 17:15 On the Buses 17:45 On the Buses

Hartnett and Kate Beckinsale. Offered the chance to fly with the Royal 14:50 Royal Pains

18:20 Rising Damp

Air Force, Rafe McCawley leaves his home in the United States behind. 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show

18:50 Heartbeat

When news reaches his best friend, Danny, and sweetheart, Evelyn, 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:50 Wycliffe

that Rafe is missing presumed dead, the two embark on an affair. But 20:00 You've Been Framed!

20:55 A Touch of Frost

their romance is soon disrupted by the events of 7 December 1941.

23:00 The Jury

21:00 Pearl Harbor

Friday 19th December

SATURDAY

21

20th DECEMBER

00:25 Cuckoo 00:55 Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga: Cheek to Cheek Live!

01:50 EastEnders 03:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen 12:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Escape to the Country 16:00 Kung Fu Panda 17:25 Final Score 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:55 Atlantis 21:40 The National Lottery Live 21:50 Strictly Come Dancing 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 National Lottery Update 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 Family Guy 01:30 Bad Education 02:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:30 Some Girls 03:00 Siblings 04:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 05:00 Close 20:00 Doctor Who 21:05 Top Gear 22:05 Sherlock 23:35 Live at the Apollo

DON’T MISS

00:00 Weather 00:05 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 00:35 Boyz N the Hood 02:20 The Culture Show 03:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Timmy Time 07:25 Mouse and Mole 07:55 Sarah & Duck 08:05 The Cow That Almost Missed Christmas 08:30 A Christmas Panic!

09:00 Marrying Mum and Dad 09:30 Junior MasterChef 11:00 Deadly Pole to Pole 12:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 13:00 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 13:50 The World's Fastest Indian 15:45 Flog It! 16:45 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom 17:45 Nativity!

19:30 The Good Life 19:55 John Le Mesurier: It's All Been Rather Lovely 20:55 Dad's Army 21:35 Christmas University Challenge 22:05 QI XL 22:35 Blackadder 23:05 Rik Mayall: Lord of Misrule

00:20 ITV News and Weather 00:55 ITV Meridian Weather 00:55 ITV News Meridian 01:05 Text Santa 02:25 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

07:25 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Hulk and the Agents of Smash 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 The Looney Tunes Show 10:00 Share a Story 2014: The Winners' Journey 10:25 Columbo: Etude in Black 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Surprise Surprise 13:30 Free Willy 2: the Adventure Home 15:25 The Nation's Favourite Christmas Song 16:50 Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium 18:35 ITV Meridian Weather 18:35 ITV News Meridian 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Celebrity Squares 20:00 Harry Potter and the Half­Blood Prince 23:00 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:10 The British Comedy

22:30 Four Christmases

01:30 SuperCasino 04:10 The Missing Evidence 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:10 Olly the Little White Van 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 Paw Patrol 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:40 Zack and Quack 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:45 The Gadget Show 11:45 The Gadget Show 12:45 World's Strongest Man 2014 13:45 Deck the Halls 15:35 Mr Miracle 17:25 Naughty or Nice 19:05 The Wish List 20:50 5 News 20:55 Scrooge 23:10 Rob Brydon Live

00:00 Queens of Disco 01:00 Disco at the BBC 02:00 The Joy of the Bee Gees 03:00 Bee Gees at the BBC and Beyond 04:00 The Joy of Disco 05:00 Close 20:00 Polar Bear: Spy on the Ice 21:00 Icebound: The Greatest Dog Story Ever Told 22:00 Inspector Montalbano 23:40 The Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold

00:30 Two and a Half Men

00:05 The Vice

00:45 Scarface

02:20 Warren United

01:15 The Count of Monte

03:50 River Monsters

03:10 You've Been Framed!

Cristo

04:40 Black Gold

03:30 Teleshopping

03:35 Judge Judy

05:20 Alias Smith and Jones

07:00 The Hot Desk

03:55 World Kitchen

06:10 Minder

07:10 Totally Bonkers

04:20 ITV3 Nightscreen

07:00 Tommy Cooper

Guinness World Records

04:40 Emmerdale

07:25 Black Gold

07:35 Emmerdale

07:00 Judge Judy

08:00 Black Gold

07:20 Pollyanna

08:40 Motorsport UK

09:20 The Royal

09:40 Bundesliga Football

TOMORROW NEVER DIES 21:00 - ITV2

10:20 Coronation Street 12:20 The Cube 13:20 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 14:25 Secret Santa

Awards 2014 02:00 Martha Marcy May Marlene 03:40 Because I Said So 05:20 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 06:15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 07:10 Trans World Sport 08:05 The Grid 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Frasier 11:25 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:25 The Big Bang Theory 12:50 The Simpsons 13:15 The Simpsons 13:45 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Channel 4 News 17:30 The Simpsons 19:00 Mission: Impossible 21:00 Rewind the Christmas Hits

10:20 Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor 12:40 Columbo: Forgotten Lady

16:15 Santa Baby 18:10 The Nightmare before

Spy adventure starring Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce and Michelle Christmas Yeoh. Intending to reap the profits of increased ratings for his global 20:00 You've Been Framed!

14:50 Agatha Christie's Marple 16:50 Agatha Christie's Marple

multimedia empire, Elliot Carver attempts to ignite a conflict between 20:30 You've Been Framed!

Britain and China by sinking a British frigate and shooting down a

18:45 Mamma Mia!

21:00 Tomorrow Never Dies

Chinese fighter plane. The British Secret Service sends James Bond to

21:00 Doc Martin

23:25 Celebrity Juice

22:00 Foyle's War

verify suspicions that Carver is behind the incident.

Highlights 10:40 Bundesliga Football Highlights 11:40 Brazil Brazil: World Cup Revisited 12:40 Pawn Stars 13:10 Pawn Stars 13:40 Ice Cold in Alex 16:20 Battle of Midway 19:00 Storage Wars 21:05 Rush Hour 2 23:00 300

22

Friday 19th December

SUNDAY

21st DECEMBER

00:45 The Football League

00:05 The Young Ones

Show

00:40 Youth in Revolt

02:05 Weather for the Week

02:05 Canterbury Cathedral

Ahead

03:05 Wonders of the

02:10 BBC News

Monsoon

07:00 Breakfast

04:05 This Is BBC Two

08:30 Match of the Day

07:35 Natural World

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

08:35 African Cats

11:00 Fern Britton Meets

10:05 The Football League

Habit

13:55 Christmas Kitchen with

16:15 The Chronicles of

James Martin

Narnia: The Lion, the Witch

14:45 Live Equestrian

and the Wardrobe

17:30 Some Mothers Do 'Ave

18:25 Songs of Praise

'Em

19:05 BBC News; Regional

18:15 Flog It!

News and Weather

18:55 The Terminal

19:30 Celebrity Mastermind

21:00 Salmon Fishing in the

20:00 Countryfile

Yemen

21:00 Antiques Roadshow

22:40 QI XL

22:00 The Apprentice

23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:30 ITV News and Weather 00:44 ITV Meridian Weather 00:45 Bette Midler: One Night Only 01:45 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

07:25 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Dino Dan 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Ultimate Spider­Man 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 Big Time Rush 10:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

10:25 ITV News 10:30 Storage Hoarders 11:30 Death on the Nile 14:15 ITV News and Weather 14:19 ITV Meridian Weather 14:20 Columbo: a Stitch in Crime 15:50 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 16:50 The Chase 17:45 Casper 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 You've Got to Love Christmas 21:00 Surprise Surprise 22:00 Midsomer Murders

00:05 Family Guy

01:10 Kings of Rock 'n' Roll

00:25 The Office Xmas Party

01:35 American Dad!

02:10 Rock 'n' Roll Britannia

03:20 Two and a Half Men

12:00 Escape to the Continent Show 12:30 Bargain Hunt

11:25 Saturday Kitchen Best

13:30 MOTD2 Extra

Bites

14:15 BBC News

12:55 Mary Berry's Absolute

14:25 Weather for the Week

Christmas Favourites

Ahead

13:25 Mary Berry's Absolute

14:30 Sister Act 2: Back in the Christmas Favourites

02:00 Live at the Apollo 02:30 Some Girls 03:00 Siblings 03:30 Siblings 04:00 Siblings 04:30 Some Girls 05:00 Close 20:00 Cars 21:50 Top Gear

03:15 The Fight for Saturday Night

04:00 Tricked 04:50 Life's Funniest

04:45 Close

Moments 05:15 Life's Funniest Moments

20:00 The Fir Tree

05:40 Totally Bonkers

20:30 Tales of Winter: The

Guinness World Records

Art of Snow and Ice

06:05 Totally Bonkers

22:00 Sammy Davis Jr: The

Guinness World Records 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

Kid in the Middle

07:00 The Hot Desk

23:10 Bad Education

23:00 An Evening with

07:10 Emmerdale

23:40 Family Guy

Sammy Davis Jr

09:50 Coronation Street

DON’T MISS

MICHEAL BUBLE: AT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS 22:00 - ITV3

One­off special in which the Canadian crooner entertains an audi­ ence with classic festive tunes from his 2011 Christmas album and duets with Kelly Rowland on one of the nation's best­loved seasonal hits. X Factor judge Gary Barlow also takes to the stage for a perform­ ance, and a host of other famous faces appears on the show, including Dawn French.

11:50 The X Factor 13:55 You've Been Framed!

14:55 Beethoven's Christmas Adventure 16:45 Ant & Dec's Christmas Show 18:00 The Polar Express 20:00 The Xtra Factor 21:00 You've Been Framed!

22:00 The Holiday

00:15 Wanderlust

00:00 A Touch of Frost 02:10 Bomb Girls 02:55 Up Pompeii 04:30 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 05:25 On the Buses 06:15 Judge Judy 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 Judge Judy 07:30 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 08:25 Carry On at Your Convenience 10:15 Carry On Loving 12:20 Up Pompeii 14:00 The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery 15:55 A Touch of Frost 17:50 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 18:55 Lewis 21:00 The Best of the Royal Variety 22:00 Michael Bublé: At Home for Christmas 23:30 Ray

02:10 Devil 03:30 Hollyoaks 05:40 Secret Eaters 06:30 Small Animal Hospital 07:00 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:10 NFL: The American Football Show 08:10 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Jamie's Comfort Food 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:30 The Simpsons 17:00 Channel 4 News 17:10 Bugsy Malone 19:00 Jamie's Cracking Christmas 20:00 Men in Black 3 22:00 Homeland 23:00 Rewind the Christmas Hits

00:05 The Joan Rivers Position 01:05 Jason Manford Live 02:25 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy!

07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Milkshake! Monkey 08:10 Olly the Little White Van 08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:45 Paw Patrol 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Zack and Quack 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:10 Jelly Jamm 10:25 LazyTown 10:55 Mr Men 11:10 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 11:20 Roobarb and Custard Too 11:30 World's Strongest Man 2014 12:30 The Muppets and Lady Gaga at Christmas 13:40 It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie 15:25 The Christmas Shepherd 17:10 The Family Man 19:30 5 News Weekend 19:35 Space Cowboys 22:00 Gran Torino

01:15 River Monsters 02:20 Mark Cavendish: Born to Race 04:00 Alias Smith and Jones 04:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:55 The Professionals 06:35 Tommy Cooper 07:00 World of Sport: TV Firsts 07:10 Tommy Cooper 07:40 Black Gold 08:20 Black Gold 09:05 Ax Men 10:00 Alias Smith and Jones 12:10 River Monsters 13:05 River Monsters 15:15 Smokey and the Bandit 17:10 Spartacus 21:00 Premiership Rugby Union 22:00 Hard Target

23

Friday 19th December

MONDAY

22nd DECEMBER

00:25 The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Television News and Weather Programme 00:25 Have I Got a Bit More 01:05 Serendipity News for You 02:30 Countryfile 01:10 Weather for the Week 03:30 Holby City Ahead 04:30 This Is BBC Two 01:15 BBC News 07:25 Mary Berry's Absolute 07:00 Breakfast Christmas Favourites 10:00 Race to Witch Mountain 07:55 Mary Berry's Absolute Christmas Favourites 11:35 Old Dogs 08:25 Canterbury Cathedral 13:00 Bargain Hunt 09:25 The Bishop's Wife 14:00 BBC News; Weather 11:10 Celebrity Antiques Road 14:30 BBC Regional News Trip and Weather 12:10 Great Continental 14:45 The Chronicles of Railway Journeys Narnia: Prince Caspian 13:10 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 17:00 Cinderella 14:00 Christmas Kitchen with 18:15 Pointless Celebrities James Martin 19:00 BBC News 14:50 Coast Australia 19:30 Weather 15:40 A Place to Call Home 19:30 BBC London News 16:25 A Place to Call Home 20:00 Celebrity Mastermind 17:10 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 20:30 A Question of Sport 'Em 18:00 Flog It! 21:00 EastEnders 19:00 Eggheads 21:30 Would I Lie to You? 19:30 The Great British Bake 22:00 John Bishop's Off Christmas Show 20:30 TOTP2 23:00 BBC News 22:00 The Wrong Mans 23:25 BBC Regional News 23:00 Never Mind the and Weather Buzzcocks 23:35 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:30 Brian Pern

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:14 ITV Meridian Weather 00:15 Vicious 00:45 Premiership Rugby Union 01:45 The Store 03:30 Motorsport UK 04:20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Speakmans 11:20 Dickinson's Real Deal 12:20 Tipping Point 13:20 Judge Rinder 14:20 ITV News and Weather 14:50 ITV Meridian Weather 14:50 ITV News Meridian 14:55 Big Star's Little Star 15:55 The Railway Children 18:00 The Cube 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Tsunami: Survivors' Stories 23:05 ITV News and Weather 23:40 ITV Meridian Weather 23:40 ITV News Meridian 23:45 Notting Hill

00:35 The IT Crowd

00:05 Family Guy

00:00 Imagine 01:15 Sammy Davis Jr: The

00:45 Release the Hounds 01:50 Two and a Half Men 02:40 The Office Xmas Party 03:30 Tricked 05:10 Life's Funniest Moments 05:55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Britain's Got More Talent 08:00 Emmerdale 08:30 Coronation Street 09:00 The Corrie Years 09:30 You've Been Framed!

09:55 All Star Family Fortunes 11:00 Catchphrase 12:00 The Twelve Days of Christmas Eve 13:55 Emmerdale 14:25 Coronation Street 14:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:10 The X Factor 19:15 You've Been Framed!!

20:45 Take Me Out 22:00 Through the Keyhole 23:00 Fast & Furious

02:25 Cracker

00:25 American Dad!

00:00 BBC News; Regional

00:45 American Dad!

Kid in the Middle

01:10 Bad Education 02:15 An Evening with

01:40 Cuckoo 04:30 Bad Education

Sammy Davis Jr

05:00 Close

03:15 Imagine

20:00 Great Movie Mistakes

04:30 The Fir Tree

20:30 Shrek 21:50 The Pig Who Cried Werewolf 22:00 Don't Tell the Bride

05:00 Close 20:00 Guys and Dolls 22:25 Storyville

23:00 Some Girls

23:35 The Joy of the Bee

23:30 EastEnders

Gees

DON’T MISS

DIRTY DANCING 23:00 - FIVE

Romantic drama starring Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze.

Teenager Frances "Baby" Houseman arrives at a mountain resort hotel with her family in the summer of 1963. Bored by family games and unimpressed by the attentions of the hotel owner's grandson, she meets dance instructor Johnny Castle, who teaches her the art of "dirty dancing".

01:30 Peep Show 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 NFL: Rush Zone 06:10 Small Animal Hospital 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:35 Frasier 09:00 Frasier 09:35 The NeverEnding Story II: the Next Chapter 11:15 The Big Bang Theory 11:45 The Big Bang Theory 12:15 The Simpsons 12:50 White Christmas 15:10 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Gadget Man 22:00 Food Unwrapped 23:00 Derek

03:30 Judge Judy 03:50 Judge Judy 04:15 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 George and Mildred 08:45 On the Buses 09:15 Heartbeat 10:20 Pollyanna 12:25 Sherlock Holmes: The Master Blackmailer 14:40 Lewis 16:50 Housewife, 49 18:50 A Touch of Frost 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Lewis

00:15 Unforgiven 02:45 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:05 Peppa Pig 09:20 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:30 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:45 Tickety Toc 10:00 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:05 Peppa Pig 10:20 Wanda and the Alien 10:35 The Mr Men Show 10:55 World's Strongest Man 2014 11:55 My Crazy Christmas Obsession 12:55 The Flight before Christmas 14:25 Bigfoot and the Hendersons 16:35 Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties 18:05 Christmas with the Kranks 19:55 5 News Update 19:55 World's Strongest Man 2014 21:00 The Railway: First Great Western 22:00 Michael Buble's Christmas 2014 23:00 Dirty Dancing

00:00 Renegades 02:10 McVicar 04:15 Nitro Circus 04:55 The Professionals 06:35 Tommy Cooper 07:00 Motorway Patrol 07:20 Black Gold 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 11:00 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 14:00 Goodwood Festival of Speed 15:00 Silverstone Classic 2014 16:10 The Rawhide Years 17:55 The Far Country 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Storage Wars Unlocked 23:00 Ax Men

24

Friday 19th December

TUESDAY

23rd DECEMBER

02:00 Jackpot247

00:05 Gogglebox

04:00 ITV Nightscreen

01:00 NFL: The American

06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Football Show

07:00 Good Morning Britain

02:00 World on a String

09:30 Lorraine

02:55 The Tree of Life

10:25 The Speakmans

05:15 Fantastic Voyage

11:20 Dickinson's Real Deal

06:55 Small Animal Hospital

12:20 Tipping Point

07:20 The King of Queens

13:25 Big Star's Little Star

07:45 The King of Queens

14:25 ITV News and Weather

08:10 Everybody Loves

14:50 ITV Meridian Weather

Raymond

14:50 ITV News Meridian

08:35 Frasier

15:00 Judge Rinder

09:00 Frasier

16:00 Midsomer Murders

09:25 The Rugrats Movie

18:00 The Chase

11:00 Andre

19:00 ITV News Meridian

12:55 Ladyhawke

19:30 ITV News and Weather

15:10 A Place in the Sun:

20:00 Emmerdale

Home or Away

20:30 Wilderness Walks with

16:10 Countdown

Ray Mears

17:00 Deal or No Deal

21:00 Roman Britain from the

18:00 Come Dine with Me

Air

19:00 The Simpsons

22:00 Lottery Stories: Be

19:30 Hollyoaks

Careful What You Wish For

20:00 Channel 4 News

23:00 ITV News at Ten and

20:30 The Snowman

Weather

21:00 Celebrity Fifteen to One

23:35 ITV Meridian Weather

22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats

23:35 ITV News Meridian

23:00 Man Down

23:35 Mrs Brown's Boys

00:00 Andy Parsons: Slacktivist 01:00 Chances Are 02:45 The Apprentice 03:45 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Close Calls: On Camera 07:35 The Great British Bake Off 08:35 Canterbury Cathedral 09:35 Anything but Christmas 11:05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 12:05 Great Continental Railway Journeys 13:05 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 13:55 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 14:45 Equestrian 15:45 Coast Australia 16:35 A Place to Call Home 17:20 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em 18:05 Flog It! 19:00 The Great British Bake Off 20:00 Dad's Army 20:30 Christmas University Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 The Wrong Mans 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

23:40 Kylie: Kiss Me Once

23:30 The 11 O'Clock Show

00:00 Family Guy

00:35 Bee Gees at the BBC and Beyond

01:10 Celebrity Juice 02:10 Two and a Half Men 03:50 The Office Xmas Party 04:40 Educating Joey Essex: Reem Halloween 05:25 Life's Funniest Moments 06:10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Britain's Got More Talent 08:00 Emmerdale 08:25 Coronation Street 08:55 Coronation Street 09:20 The Cube 10:20 Catchphrase 11:20 Arthur and the Great Adventure 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 Coronation Street 14:25 Coronation Street 14:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:10 The Xtra Factor 19:15 Scooby­Doo 21:00 You've Been Framed!

22:00 Bridget Jones's Diary

01:10 The Nun's Story

00:45 American Dad!

00:05 Citizen Khan 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Mars Needs Moms 11:30 Bridge to Terabithia 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 BBC Regional News 14:45 Chicken Run 16:05 The Gruffalo 16:30 Cars 2 18:10 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 Celebrity Mastermind 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Royle Family 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 Weather

01:05 Some Girls

01:35 Castles ­ Britain's

01:35 Don't Tell the Bride 02:30 The Revolution Will Be

Fortified History 02:35 Puppy Love

Televised 04:30 Some Girls

03:05 Sounds of the Eighties

05:00 Close

03:35 Storyville

20:00 The Borrowers

04:45 Close

21:30 Hammy's Boomerang

20:00 Robin and the 7 Hoods

Adventure

22:00 Len Goodman's Big

21:35 Madly Madagascar 22:00 Shrek 2 23:25 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

Band Bonanza 23:00 BBC Proms 2014

THE ROYLE FAMILY 22:00 - BBC1

A new neighbour's cleavage is one of the many topics of conversa­ tion as the couch­potato clan gathers for another fun­filled Christmas Day. This year Barbara has gone overboard with the presents after spending an entire two hours in the pound shop, Joe next door has turned to the lonely hearts column, although his advert leaves a lot to be desired, and Dave has had a flash of entrepreneurial inspiration that he intends to pitch to Dragons' Den ­ are the family on the brink of becoming millionaires? Ricky Tomlinson, Sue Johnston, Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash star. Festive special from 2012.

03:55 Agatha Christie's Marple 05:30 Judge Judy 05:50 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 06:50 Movies Now 07:10 Judge Judy 07:30 Fresh Fields 08:10 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 09:10 A Touch of Frost 11:30 The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery 13:25 Agatha Christie's Marple 15:25 The Best of the Royal Variety 17:30 George and Mildred 18:40 A Touch of Frost 20:55 Foyle's War 23:00 Housewife, 49

00:55 Abba: The Image 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 The Gadget Show 05:00 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:25 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Tickety Toc 10:10 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:30 Access 10:40 World's Strongest Man 2014 11:40 Jack and the Beanstalk 13:25 The Elf That Rescued Christmas 15:00 This Christmas 17:10 Call Me Claus 18:55 World's Strongest Man 2014 19:55 5 News Update 19:55 My Crazy Christmas Obsession 20:50 5 News at 9 20:50 Michael Buble's Christmas Songbook 22:00 Kids' Hospital at Christmas 23:00 Saving Private Ryan

00:00 Bundesliga Football Highlights 01:00 Premiership Rugby Union 02:00 Fearless 03:55 Hornblower 05:35 Magnum, PI 06:25 Tommy Cooper 06:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 07:00 World Cup Hat­Trick Heroes 07:05 Black Gold 07:40 Minder 08:35 The Professionals 09:40 Kojak 10:40 Magnum, PI 11:40 Pawn Stars 12:40 Monaco Historic Grand Prix 2014 13:40 Minder 14:50 Destry Rides Again 16:45 Shalako 19:00 Storage Wars 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Cannonball Run II 23:15 Carlito's Way

Friday 19th December

WEDNESDAY

25

24th DECEMBER

00:30 Ali G in da USAiii

00:10 Cuckoo 00:40 The Apprentice 01:40 Final Analysis 03:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Snow Babies 11:00 Nigel Slater's 12 Tastes of Christmas 12:00 WALL­E 13:30 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 14:30 BBC News 14:40 BBC Regional News 14:43 Weather 14:45 Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were­Rabbit 16:05 Merry Madagascar 16:25 Shrek the Halls 16:50 The Gruffalo's Child 17:15 On Angel Wings 17:45 One Hundred and One Dalmatians 19:05 BBC News 19:15 BBC London News 19:20 Weather 19:25 Toy Story 3 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm 22:30 Not Going Out 23:15 The Vicar of Dibley 23:55 Mrs Brown's Boys

00:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 00:45 Surviving Christmas 02:10 TOTP2 03:40 Film 2014 04:10 The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 05:10 This Is BBC Two 07:10 The Crimson Wing 08:20 Canterbury Cathedral 09:20 One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing 10:55 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:55 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 12:40 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin 13:35 Torvill & Dean: The Perfect Day 14:35 The Choir: Military Wives 15:35 Little Women 17:25 To the Manor Born 18:25 Carols from King's 19:40 The Good Life 20:10 Victoria Wood with All the Trimmings 21:00 Christmas University Challenge 21:30 The Choir: Military Wives 22:30 Julie Walters: A Life on Screen 23:30 Calendar Girls

00:50 The Jonathan Ross

23:45 ITV News and Weather

22:30 Gogglebox

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:05 Bluestone 42 01:35 Him & Her 02:05 Some Girls 02:35 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:05 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:30 Bluestone 42 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Gavin & Stacey 22:00 Shrek the Third 23:25 Cuckoo

00:25 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters' Story 01:20 Northern Soul: Living for the Weekend 02:20 Len Goodman's Big Band Bonanza 03:20 BBC Proms 2014 04:45 Close 20:00 Carols from King's 1954: A Festival of Lessons and Carols 20:45 Wild Scotland 21:00 Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank 21:30 Arena: Oooh Er, Missus! The Frankie Howerd Story 22:30 Top of the Pops: 1979 23:30 Some People with Jokes

00:00 Celebrity Juice 01:00 Release the Hounds 02:00 Two and a Half Men 03:40 The Office Xmas Party 04:30 Tricked 05:15 Educating Joey Essex: Space Cadet 06:05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Britain's Got More Talent 08:00 Emmerdale 08:25 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 09:15 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 10:05 All Star Family Fortunes 11:10 You've Been Framed!

12:15 The Twelve Days of Christmas Eve 14:10 Emmerdale 14:40 Casper 16:40 You've Been Framed!

18:05 All Star Family Fortunes 19:10 Catchphrase 20:20 The Nightmare before Christmas 22:00 The Holiday

01:00 A Touch of Frost

02:10 Hornblower

03:05 Agatha Christie's

04:00 Brazil Brazil: World Cup

Marple

Revisited

04:45 Sherlock Holmes: The

04:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

Master Blackmailer

05:05 Tommy Cooper

06:35 Judge Judy

05:30 Black Gold

DON’T MISS

SKYFALL 21:00 - ITV

Spy adventure starring Daniel Craig as agent James Bond. When an operation to retrieve a computer hard drive containing the names of agents goes wrong, the authority of MI6 boss M comes under scrutiny.

Her only ally seems to be Bond, who is assigned to track down the mastermind behind the theft. It's a mission that will reveal long­hidden secrets from M's and Bond's past.

Show 02:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show

01:00 Da Ali G Show 01:55 Poker 02:50 Saw IV 04:25 Secret Eaters 05:20 Phil Spencer: Secret

USA

Agent

04:45 ITV Nightscreen

06:15 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:35 The Nativity Story

06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:15 Olive, the Other

07:00 Good Morning Britain

Reindeer 09:10 The Big Bang Theory

09:30 Lorraine 10:25 All Stars 12:35 Horrid Henry: the Movie 14:20 ITV News and Weather 14:35 Doc Martin

09:40 The Big Bang Theory 10:05 The Simpsons 10:35 The Simpsons 11:10 The Iron Giant 12:50 Father Christmas 13:30 Big Miracle 15:35 Channel 4 News

16:35 Off Their Rockers

15:45 The Grinch

17:05 Santa Claus

17:50 The Muppet Christmas Carol

19:15 You've Been Framed!

19:25 Hollyoaks

19:45 ITV News and Weather

20:25 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas

20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Skyfall

20:55 The Snowman and the Snowdog 21:30 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

07:00 Movies Now 07:10 On the Buses 08:35 George and Mildred 09:05 Agatha Christie's Marple

02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 My Crazy Christmas Obsession 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:05 Peppa Pig 09:20 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:30 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:40 Tickety Toc 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Peppa Pig 10:15 Wanda and the Alien 10:30 Gone with the Wind 14:50 The Adventures of Robin Hood 16:50 Scrooge 18:35 Michael Buble's Christmas 2014 19:30 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 20:20 5 News Update 20:20 Britain's Craziest Christmas Lights 21:25 5 News Update 21:25 The Dog Rescuers 22:30 Greatest Ever Christmas Movies

06:10 Magnum, PI 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals 07:20 Tommy Cooper 07:45 Black Gold 08:25 Minder

11:00 The Memoirs of

09:20 Kojak

Sherlock Holmes

10:25 Magnum, PI

12:10 A Christmas Carol

11:25 Pawn Stars

13:45 Christmas Lights

12:20 Goodwood Revival 2014

15:10 Mamma Mia!

13:25 The Vicious Circle

17:25 Paul O'Grady: For the

15:10 The Rawhide Years

Love of Dogs

17:00 British Superbike

18:25 The Royal

Championship Highlights

19:30 Michael Bublé: At Home

19:00 Storage Wars Unlocked

for Christmas 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Clash of the Santas

20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment 22:55 Rush Hour 2

26

Friday 19th December

THURSDAY

25th DECEMBER

00:30 BBC News 00:40 National Lottery Update 00:40 Weather 00:45 Midnight Mass from Arundel Cathedral 02:05 Sliding Doors 03:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Gruffalo 10:30 On Angel Wings 11:00 Come and Join the Celebration 12:00 Only Fools and Horses 13:00 Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out 13:25 Gnomeo & Juliet 14:40 Shaun the Sheep 14:50 BBC News 14:55 Weather 15:00 Top of the Pops 16:00 The Queen 16:10 Puss in Boots 17:40 BBC News 17:55 Weather 18:00 Strictly Come Dancing 19:15 Doctor Who 20:15 Miranda 20:50 Call the Midwife 22:00 EastEnders 23:05 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:40 Michael McIntyre's Very Christmassy Christmas Show

01:15 Buster

00:00 EastEnders 00:30 Family Guy 02:45 Cuckoo 03:15 Some Girls 03:45 Comedy Feeds 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Bolt 21:30 The Pig Who Cried Werewolf 21:35 Shrek the Halls 22:00 Shrek Forever After 23:25 Donkey's Carolling Christmas­tacular 23:30 Bad Education

00:00 Arena

00:45 Celebrity Juice

01:35 Swingin' Christmas

01:50 Through the Keyhole

DON’T MISS

00:00 Christmas Carols on ITV 02:45 This Is BBC Two 01:00 Elizabeth: the Golden 07:00 Sinbad: Legend of the Age Seven Seas 03:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:15 Short Circuit 03:50 ITV Nightscreen 09:50 Pollyanna 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:00 Carols from King's 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

13:15 To the Manor Born 07:25 Pat & Stan 13:45 The Choir: Military 07:30 Dino Dan: Trek's Wives Adventures 14:45 60 Years of Carols from 07:40 Dino Dan 07:55 Sooty King's 08:05 Almost Naked Animals 15:45 BBC Proms 2014 08:40 Horrid Henry 09:25 Weekend 18:00 The Queen 10:25 Valiant 18:10 James May's Toy 11:55 Back to the Future Stories 14:10 Nanny McPhee 16:00 The Queen 19:15 Morecambe & Wise in 16:10 The Queen's Garden Pieces 17:10 ITV News and Weather 20:15 Christmas University 17:20 Elf: Buddy's Musical Christmas Challenge 18:20 You've Been Framed!

20:45 Dad's Army 18:50 Paul O'Grady: For the 21:30 Blackadder Love of Dogs 19:50 ITV News and Weather 22:00 Tim Rice ­ A Life in 20:00 Emmerdale Song 21:00 Coronation Street 23:30 QI 22:00 Downton Abbey

02:45 Top of the Pops: 1979

00:00 Rude Tube 01:05 The Inbetweeners 02:55 Rare Exports from the Land of the Original Santa Claus 04:20 Toys 06:20 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:35 Small Animal Hospital 07:00 The Ugly Duckling and Me 08:30 Prep & Landing 08:55 Prep & Landing: Naughty v Nice 09:20 Father Christmas 09:55 Animals United 11:45 The Simpsons 12:15 The Simpsons 12:45 The Simpsons 13:15 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas 13:45 The Snowman 14:20 The Snowman and the Snowdog 14:50 The Alternative Christmas Message 14:55 Channel 4 News Summary 15:05 Scrooged 17:00 Big 19:00 Arthur Christmas 21:00 Frozen at Christmas 22:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

01:30 Scrooge 03:20 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:30 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:50 Peppa Pig 10:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 Access 10:20 Andre Rieu: Christmas Around the World 11:20 Scrooge 13:35 The Sound of Music ­ Live!

16:25 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 19:10 Michael Buble's Christmas Songbook 20:05 Chas & Dave's Xmas Knees Up! 21:00 Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

01:00 Vicious

00:45 Payback

01:35 Ray

02:45 British Touring Car

02:50 Two and a Half Men 04:30 Release the Hounds

04:15 Christmas Lights

Championship 04:30 Nitro Circus

03:45 Sammy Davis Jr: The

05:20 Educating Joey Essex:

05:25 A Christmas Carol

04:50 Nitro Circus

Kid in the Middle

Winter Essex­Pedition

06:45 ITV3 Nightscreen

05:10 Black Gold

04:45 Close

06:05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

20:00 The Winter's Tale from

07:00 Judge Judy

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:20 Judge Judy

the Royal Ballet

07:00 Totally Bonkers

07:40 Judge Judy

22:00 The Lady Vanishes

Guinness World Records

23:30 Top of the Pops Christmas 1978

DOWNTON ABBEY FESTIVE SPECIAL 22:00 - ITV

It's the early autumn of 1924 and Rose's father­in­law Lord Sinderby has rented Brancaster Castle in Northumberland and invited the Crawleys to a grouse­shooting party. However, the Sinderbys' butler Stowell has an axe to grind and a scandalous secret threatens to derail the holiday. Back at Downton, the servants hold the fort and unlikely later­life romances abound, while Bates takes drastic measures to clear Anna's name as she faces an uncertain future behind bars. The sea­ sons change and another Christmas is enjoyed at the Abbey, where a heartbreaking farewell and a joyful reunion take place. Feature­length festive special.

07:25 Emmerdale

08:05 A Christmas Carol

06:35 Tommy Cooper 07:00 World of Sport: Footballing Upsets 07:20 Black Gold 08:00 Minder

07:50 Coronation Street

09:35 Santa Claus

08:20 Horrid Henry: the Movie

11:50 Carry On Screaming

10:10 You've Been Framed!

05:45 Minder

13:50 Carry On Camping

11:40 Scooby­Doo

08:55 The Professionals 10:00 Hornblower 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars

13:25 Emmerdale

15:35 On the Buses

13:55 Coronation Street

17:25 Mutiny on the Buses

14:55 The Horse Soldiers

19:15 Holiday on the Buses

17:20 The Green Berets

14:25 All Star Family Fortunes 15:30 Catchphrase 16:35 Jurassic Park

21:00 Carry On Cleo

12:55 The Far Country

20:10 Police Academy 3: Back in Training

19:00 You've Been Framed!

23:00 Steptoe and Son Ride

22:00 National Lampoon's

19:30 The Mummy Returns

Again

Vacation

Friday 19th December

27

FRIDAY

26th DECEMBER

00:40 BBC News 00:50 Weather 00:55 On Christmas night 01:00 Not Going Out 01:45 Would I Lie to You 02:15 George Micheal at the Palais Garnier, Paris 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 03:15 The Heartbreak Kid 05:05 Skiing Weatherview 05:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Pinocchio 11:25 Cbeebies Peter Pan 12:05 Room on the Broom 12:30 Cool Runnings 14:05 BBC News: Weather 14:15 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:25 The Incredible Adventures of Profesor Branestawm 15:20 My Family 16:15 Monsters, Inc 17:40 The Pirates! In an adventure with Scientists!

19:05 BBC News 19:20 Weather 19:20 BBC London News 19:55 The Boy in the Dress 21:00 Eastenders 21:30 Marvel Avengers Assemble 23:40 BBC News 23:50 National Lottery Update 23:50 BBC Regional News and Weather

00:00 Marvellous

00:00 Family Guy

03:30 Crazy Heart

23:30 Hunky dory

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:15 You´ve Got to Love Christmas 01:15 Christmas Carols on ITV 02:15 Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle 03:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

07:20 Pat & Stan 07:30 Dino Dan: Trek´s Adventures 07:55 Sooty 08:05 Almost Naked Animals 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Super 4 09:25 Weekend 10:25 Dinner Date: Australia 11:25 Celebrity Squares 12:25 Paul O´Grady: For the Love of Dogs 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:45 The Chase 14:45 Back to the Future: Part 11 16:45 Off Their Rockers 17:15 Downton Abbey 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 Emmerdale 20:00 Coronation Street 21:00 A christmas Cracker 22:00 Birds of a Feather 22:30 Through the Keyhole 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:45 Out of Sight

Year 2014

00:05 Muriel´s Wedding 02:20 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:50 Wildlife SOS 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 the WotWots 07:10 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:05 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:05 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:30 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:45 Tickety Toc 10:05 Wanda and the Alien 10:25 Bert and Ernie´s Great Adventures 10:35 Mr Men 10:55 Access 11:05 Carry On Constable 12:45 Carry On Teacher 14:30 Carry On Nurse 16:15 The Ladykillers 18:00 A Shot in the Dark 20:05 Rob Brydon Live 21:00 Morecambe & Wise Live! 1973 22:25 Tommy Cooper´s Christmas Special 23:25 Carry On Christmas

00:30 Top of The Pops: 1979

00:35 Celebrity Juice

01:05 Up Pompeii

00:05 Sneakers

01:35 Only Yesterday: The

02:20 Two and a Half Men 03:55 Celebrity Juice

03:00 The Best of the Royal

02:30 Carlitos Way

Carpenters´ Story 03:25 Some Girls

02:35 The Fir Tree

04:30 Tricked

03:55 Cuckoo

03:00 The Winter´s Tale from

05:15 Education Joey Essex

02:50 Cuckoo

01:30 The Producers 03:35 This is BBC Two 07:10 The Road to Eldorado 08:30 College Road Trip 09:50 Natural World 10:50 Ten Pieces 11:40 60 Years of Carols from Kings 12:40 On the Town 14:15 Talking Pictures 14:50 Singin´ in the Rain 16:30 Victoria Wood: That Musical We Made 17:30 Final Score 18:25 BBC Proms 2014 19:45 Christmas University Challenge 20:15 The Two Ronnies 21:00 Victoria Wood´s Midlife Crisis 22:00 That Day We Sang

the Royal Ballet

06:05 Totally Bonkers

04:25 Bad Education

20:00 Sacred Music: The

Guinness World Records

20:00 Great Movie Mistakes

Story of Allegri´s Miserere

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

20:30 Carlos Acosta´s Cuban

07:00 The Hot Desk

21:00 Doctor Who

Night 22:00 Wallander Faceless

22:00 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy 23:30 Eastenders

Killers 22:55 Wallander Faceless Killers MARVER

DON’T MISS

MARVEL AVENGERS ASSEMBLE 21:30 - BBC1

Action fantasy starring Robert Downey Jr, Samuel L Jackson, Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson. When powerful energy source the Tesseract is stolen from a SHIELD base by Thor's brother Loki, the agency's director Nick Fury decides it's time for the Earth's mightiest heroes ­ Iron Man, Captain America and Thor himself ­ to band together with agents Black Widow and Hawkeye to save the planet. But getting the disparate individuals to gel as a team, particularly with the inclusion of unpredictable man­monster the Hulk, becomes crucial as Loki is plot­ ting an alien invasion.

07:10 Arthur and the Great Adventure

05:25 Secret Eaters 06:20 Flicka 08:25 The Bear 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 The Big Bang Theory 10:25 The Big Bang Theory 10:55 Inspector Gadget 12:30 Dr Seuss´ Horton Hears a Who! 14:15 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 Turner & Hooch 18:50 Channel 4 News 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Marvel´s Agents of SHIELD 21:00 Bear´s Wild Weekend 22:00 The Big Fat Quiz of the

Variety

05:10 Movies Now 05:20 ITV4 Nightscreen

04:45 Santsa Claus

06:10 The Professionals

06:35 Judge Judy

07:00 Tommy Cooper

07:00 Movies Now

07:20 Black Gold 08:05 Minder

07:10 Rising Damp 09:00 The Professionals 07:35 Housewife, 49

10:00 Hornblower

10:05 Coronation Street

09:25 Clash of the Santas

12:05 Kojak

11:05 The Xtra Factor

11:15 Carry On Again Doctor

09:05 Emmerdale

12:10 Casper

14:15 The ´Burbs 16:20 Smokey and the Bandit

14:05 Elf: Buddy´s Musical

13:05 Carry on Cleo

Christmas

15:05 Carry On Girls

11

16:50 Carry On Cowboy

21:15 Police Academy 4:

18:10 Smokey and the Bandit

15:05 Emmerdale 16:05 Coronation Street 17:10 Nanny McPhee

18:55 A Touch of Frost

22:00 National Lampoon´s

19:10 Despicable Me 21:00 Tomorrow Never Dies 23:30 Celebrity Juice

Citizens on Patrol

21:00 Lewis 23:00 Come Rain Come Shine

European Vacation 23:55 Bowfinger

28

Friday 19th December

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 25 represents F and 9 represents X, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

7 Yellow fruit (6) 8 Cock­a­hoop (6) 9 Blocks (4) 10 At whatever time (8) 11 Skinny (7) 13 Courageous (5) 15 Annoyed (5) 17 Brush up (7) 20 Undermine (8) 21 Occupied (4) 23 Announcement (6) 24 Playground device (6)

1 Festivity (4) 2 Feeling of sickness (6) 3 Bird of the plover family (7) 4 Cap with no brim or bill (5) 5 Vocation (6) 6 Sets aside (8) 12 Aromatic bark used as a spice (8) 14 Demise (7) 16 Beginner (6) 18 Thief (6) 19 Military trainee (5) 22 Settle (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Scam, 4 Step, 9 Error, 10 Adamant, 11 Startle, 12 Preen, 13 Banish, 15 Gentle, 18 Utter, 20 Culprit, 23 Survive, 24 Snare, 25 Beam, 26 Send.

Down: 2 Certain, 3 Merit, 4 Scared, 5 Example, 6 Bees, 7 Bake, 8 Stance, 13 Bruise, 14 Service, 16 Terrain, 17 Scream, 19 Torn, 21 Lists, 22 Tree.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Beat the metal container (4) 4 Go out with a fruit (4) 9 Snake I caught is jellied (5) 10 Arms rot badly then go with a bang (7) 11 Pecuniary bonus is mine in return (3) 12 One chosen travelled to the terminal (9) 13 Show or hide (6) 14 Musical compositions spouse created (6) 18 Government­hater rav­ aging China star (9) 21 Saigon is without sin in the past (3) 23 Part of UK named Glenda incorrectly (7) 24 He takes a great deal from a serf (5) 25 River in a channel bed (4) 26 Fetch sweet pastry with raisins first removed (4)

Down 2 Smarten up the walls, whichever way you like (7) 3 Teach me to make a large heavy knife (7) 4 Rearranged medals for a young lady (6) 5 Seafarer’s old square fortune telling device (5) 6 Rene Descartes demon­ strated a barrow (4) 7 Bermuda dollar contains part of a wall (4) 8 Benefits Tessa’s arranged (6) 13 Ray’s sports equipment (6) 15 Top host revised criti­ cism (7) 16 Spoilt clarets are red (7) 17 A violin scam (6) 19 A 50­state organism (4) 20 Swim before one can walk (5) 22 Fur coat hides curse (4)

STANDARD CLUES Down Across 2 Change the wall covering 1 Percussion instrument (4) (7) 4 Appointment (4) 3 Heavy knife (7) 9 Meat jelly (5) 4 Young maiden (6) 10 Muzzle­loading cannons 5 Clairvoyant’s card deck (7) (5) 11 Gratuity (3) 6 Haul (4) 12 Conductor (9) 7 Wall decoration (4) 13 Partition (6) 8 Items of value (6) 14 Musical compositions 13 Sports equipment (6) (6) 15 Aimless bit of gunfire (7) 18 Nihilist (9) 16 Bright red (7) 21 From that time (3) 17 Tinker with (6) 23 Part of UK (7) 19 Seaweed (4) 24 Feudal slave (5) 20 Move at a slow pace (5) 25 European river (4) 22 Vow (4) 26 Carry (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Hussar, 4 Rumpus, 9 Neutral, 10 Tonga, 11 Reed, 12 Contact, 13 Ark, 14 Keep, 15 Lush, 18 Bee, 20 Ingrate, 22 Lope, 24 Bride, 25 Twister, 26 Ghetto, 27 Select.

Down: 1 Hungry, 2 Shut­eye, 3 Acre, 5 Untangle, 6 Panda, 7 Shanty, 8 Pluck, 13 Apparent, 16 Scottie, 17 Airbag, 18 Belts, 19 Beirut, 21 Grime, 23 Bide.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words He So 3 letter words Deb Had Ink Lei Pin Ran Rap Sty 4 letter words Acre Aloe Arco

Army Atom Bail Bars Bite Boos Bunk Deep Dine Dyes Earn Egad Ells Gout Halo Here Ides Lore Pest Plus

Pomp Pray Prop Putt Rags Roar Soil Spar Sped 5 letter words Aerie Audio Barge Bilge Bulge Chips Clack Enter

Epoch Fangs Flora Haste Humus Latte Learn Lists Loath Oldie Point Preen Puree Sales Salts Sites Suite Tacit Tanka Trite

6 letter words Carlos Greens Optics Pauper Saluki Sphere Totter Trikes 8 letter words Etageres Surgical 9 letter words Lumbermen Reiterate

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Sellos (Correos) (6) 4 Fechas (días precisos) (5) 8 Alubias (5) 9 Emanar (7) 10 Dentista (7) 11 Deuda (obligación) (4) 12 Etar sentado (3) 14 Useful (information, advice, tool) (4) 15 Fácil (sencillo) (4) 18 Brazo (de persona) (3) 21 Lake (4) 23 Ejemplo (7) 25 Failure (lack of suc­ cess) (7) 26 Oats (5)

27 Pequeño (5) 28 Head (part of body) (6) Down 1 Saturday (6) 2 En contra de (7) 3 Tablet (medicine) (8) 4 Sordo (persona) (4) 5 Suit (for man) (5) 6 Sábanas (de camas) (6) 7 Nidos (5) 13 Spider’s web (8) 16 Blowtorch (7) 17 Acantilados (6) 19 Better (5) 20 Decade (6) 22 Attractive (f) (5) 24 Balón (4)

29

Friday 19th December Across 1 What name for some­ one who prays to God comes from the Latin for ‘to kneel, bow down, request’ (10) 6 What is the name of the main antagonist of The Lion King? He is Mufasa’s younger brother and Simba’s uncle who plots to seize the throne he believes is rightfully his by virtue of superior intelligence? (4) 9 Which verb means both ‘to make drunk with alcoholic drinks’ and ‘to excite to enthusiasm or madness’? (10) 10 Which expression of incredulity indicates some­ thing is unlikely and should not be considered? (2,2) 12 What name is given to someone whose age is in the 80s? (12) 15 What name is often given to a being with partial or lesser divine status, such as a minor deity, the off­ spring of a god and a mor­ tal, or a mortal raised to

divine rank? (7) 16 What name for a plug for sealing a hole, especial­ ly in the neck of a bottle or other container can also mean a footballer whose function is to block attacks on goal from the middle of the field? (7) 17 Which close­fitting one­piece garment worn by dancers and acrobats is named after a 19th century French trapeze artist? (7) 19 The BBC period drama series created by Heidi Thomas based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth and set in east London in the 1950s was entitled Call the (What)? (7) 20 Which traditional English dish is made with minced meat covered with mashed potato? (9,3) 23 Which is the fourth largest lake (by surface area) of the five Great Lakes in North America? (4) 24 Which city is the capi­ tal of Pennsylvania? (10) 25 Which goat­like mam­

SUDOKU (Medium)

mal inhabits the cliffs and mountain slopes in Oman,

known as from 1925 to 1961? (10)

southern India and the Himalayas? (4) 26 By what name was the Russian city of Volgograd

Down 1 By what name is the front part of the human leg between the knee and the

ankle usually known? (4) 2 In golf what name is given to a gentle stroke that hits a golf ball across the green towards the hole? (4) 3 What name is given to the activity or occupation of writing dictionaries? (12) 4 Often regarded as an object of derision, what name was applied to the husband of an adulteress?

(7) 5 Which verb means ‘talks socially without exchanging too much infor­ mation’? (7) 7 Which W­shaped con­ stellation in the northern hemisphere near Polaris is named after the wife of Cepheus, king of Ethiopia and mother of Andromeda?

(10) 8 What name is usually given to industrial plants for purifying a crude sub­ stance? (10) 11 Which Labour politi­ cian was prime minister of the UK from 1964 to 1970, and again from 1974 to

1976? (6,6) 13 What name for a juve­ nile between the onset of puberty and maturity is derived from the Latin for ‘to grow or become nour­ ished’? (10) 14 Which verb means ‘to make a person or area poor’? (10) 18 What adjective is nor­ mally applied to a volcano that is temporarily inactive?

(7) 19 What is the name of the strong north wind that blows in France during the winter? (7) 21 Which region of coal mining and heavy industry in North Rhine­Westphalia, western Germany, is named after the river that flows through it, meeting the Rhine near Duisburg? (4) 22 Which archaic excla­ mation was formerly used to express surprise, anger or affirmation? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH LAS EMERGENCIAS ­EMERGENCIES Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el accidente

la camilla

el choque

la enfermera

el doctor

la escalera

el fuego

la jeringa

el paramédico

la llamada

el vendaje

la policía

la ambulancia

los bomberos

la caída

los puntos

history QUIZ

ANSEWRS:1. Fidel Castro 2. Medicine 3. The Titanic 4.

History Robert E.Lee 5. Fly in 1943 on a secret trip to Casablanca. 6. Dutch 7. William Pitt (The Younger) 8.

Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington 9. It was dog doing life for killing a cat. 10. Southampton 11. The Black Prince 12. Minister 13. Octavian and Emperor Augustus

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 8 Siesta, 9 ETA, 10 Owen, 11 Mayonnaise, 12 Nash, 13 Arctic, 16 Monolith, 17 Terrier, 18 Orderly, 22 Dementia, 25 Yields, 26 Malt, 27 Cuttlefish, 30 Vein, 31 Ohm, 32 Surrey.

Down: 1 Pisa, 2 Oslo, 3 Barnacle, 4 Mediums, 5 Cavern, 6 John Cleese, 7 Jet set, 14 Roe, 15 Turpentine, 19 Royalist, 20 LSD, 21 Ragtime, 23 Enamel, 24 Tycoon, 28 Fire, 29 Stew.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el accidente, 2.el choque,

15.los bomberos, 16.los puntos.

3.el doctor, 4.el fuego,

n.the nurse, o.the fall,

5.el paramédico, 6.el vendaje,

a.the paramedic, b.the doctor,

7.la ambulancia, 8.la caída,

c.the stitches, d.the bandage,

9.la camilla, 10.la enfermera,

e.the call, f.the pólice, g.the fire,

11.la escalera, 12.la jeringa,

h.the ambulance, i.the crash,

13.la llamada, 14.la policía,

j.the firemen, k.the siringe,

Soduko

l.the ladder, m.the accident,

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

p.the stretcher.

Answers: 1m, 2i, 3b, 4g, 5a, 6d, 7h, 8o, 9p, 10n, 11l, 12k, 13e, 14f, 15j, 16c.

1. In 1959 Who Established A Communist Government In Cuba?

2. 'Aescapalious' the emblem, staff snake, is the Greek/Roman god of what?

3. What was the sister ship of the Olympic?

4. Who Commanded The Confederate Armies During The American Civil War? 5. President Roosevelt was the first president to do what?

6. What nationality was Mata Hari?

7. Who Was The Youngest British Prime Minister?

8. Who first said "Publish and be Damned"?

9. What was unusual about convict 2599 who was doing time in Pen State prison 1924?

10. Where Did The Mayflower Set Sail From In 1620?

11. What was The Eldest Son Of Edward III Better Known As? 12. Frank and Jesse James' father had what job?

13. At the Battle of Actium, who defeated Mark Anthony and Cleopatra?

Fill It In

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Friday 19th December 2014

SHOULD YOU SWAP THE MILK IN YOUR COFFEE FOR A KNOB OF BUTTER?

If you are reading this over breakfast and want to be a part of the latest diet fad, then simple. Take a tablespoon, lift the butter dish and stir two great dollops of the yellow stuff into your coffee. Add a dash of oil (medium­chain triglyceride, if you’ve got some lurking next to the mar­ malade jar…), and hey presto: one steaming cup of Bulletproof Coffee, oth­ erwise known as the “fat black”.

The heady brew, caramel­brown with an unhealthy oily sheen, if done correctly, measures up to a whopping 500 calories per cup. It also tastes like the bottom of an industrial butter churn. But this is the new weight­loss craze that is sweeping the United States and now creeping into Britain.

All hail the “new power drink of Silicon Valley”, coming to a café near you.

The coffee, whose lardy contents have left nutritionists shaking their heads in dismay, has been developed by tech millionaire Dave Asprey. The 41­year­old was once 21 stone, but that was before he discovered the “power of butter” at 18,000 feet during a hike

near Mount Kailash in Tibet.

“I staggered into a guest house from the minus­10 degree weather and was literally rejuvenated by a creamy cup of yak butter tea,” so Asprey’s story goes. Now slimline, and still talking with the giddiness of some­ body recovering from a bout of altitude sick­ ness, he professes to be a “bio­hacker”: a man who can manipulate his own biology to gain an unfair advantage in business and life.

So far, so nonsensical, but the devotees to his Bulletproof Coffee are growing. In London, several cafés now stock the bever­ age, including Crussh, a branch of juice bars, which replaces milk with butter in its so­called Smart Coffee. The drink is pre­ pared with coffee beans, two pats of butter from grass­fed cows and MCT oil (a coconut and palm kernel oil derivative). The standard price is £2.95; or for £3.65 you can add a dash of Bulletproof Brain Octane Oil. This, Aga Mis, the manager of the Victoria branch tells me, is 15 times stronger than the regular brew. “We started doing it about

four or five months ago. It is getting a lot more popular. It is the sort of drink that you develop a taste for. We sell about 10 a day.”

Such concoctions, say the critics, encour­ age the worst in modern­day narcissism and will no sooner help you lose weight than a bacon butty. Incidentally, Asprey preaches an overall diet rich in saturated fat to be enjoyed alongside his coffee.

“There is no science that would back this up as a weight­loss tool,” says Dr Sally Norton, an NHS surgeon and leading UK weight­loss consultant. “The problem is we have a huge obesity epidemic where two thirds of us are overweight and one quarter obese. The more we try to lose weight, the worse it is getting. People are just desperate and don’t know where else to turn.”

Sian Porter, a spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association, who first heard about fat blacks a few weeks ago, is similar­ ly sceptical. “He has done one of the classic things that fad diets do by saying he has looked at thousands of studies. But it is about quality not quantity.”

As for the taste of a buttery coffee, and the claim that the drink boosts “mental clarity”, who better to ask than the harried office workers of London walking the streets dur­ ing a week of Christmas parties?

“All you can taste is the butter,” says Stuart Butcher, 40, who works in acquisi­ tions and marketing. “Normally, I would just go for an americano, maybe with a bit of cold milk.”

Craig Timmis, a 33­year­old lawyer, decid­ ed to have a sip on his way back from lunch at a nearby Thai restaurant. “It tastes very weak, but there is a greasy film that definite­ ly stays with you.”

“I love butter, I put it on everything, and I love coffee as well,” says Helena Kilduff, 26, an account manager. “But,” she says, regarding the droplets of oil formed on the surface, “definitely not the two together.”

Next year, Asprey plans to open his first Bulletproof café in Los Angeles, but the peo­ ple of Britain might take more convincing.

Until then, viva the milk and two sugars, and save the butter for your toast.

WEDNESDAY WEIGH-IN

Dieters should weigh themselves every Wednesday to lose the most weight, according to new research.

Regularly stepping on the scales really does work for those trying to shed the pounds, a study by food technology experts found.

But they discovered Wednesday is the best day because it is when weight is least likely to fluctuate, giv­ ing a truer reading and makes it easier to compare one week to the next.

Typically, people weigh the most at weekends and then gradually burn pounds off during the week, said researchers from Finland's Tempere University of Technology.

How much more they weigh at weekends can depend on whether or not they go out to eat, snack or have a quiet weekend.

As a result, weighing themselves on a weekend can see much bigger gains or losses and present an inaccurate picture of their attempts to lose weight.

But Wednesdays, gener­ ally, give a much more typi­ cal reading of genuine weight and makes it easier to compare one week to another, researchers told the

journal PLOS One. For those trying to slim, going for more than a week without checking the scales will see them put on weight, said Dr Elina Helander.

That is because regular monitoring helps them stick to a weight loss regime as it reminds them why they are doing it, she added.

It is a standard method of slimming clubs to have a weigh­in every week in front of other members to give dieters encouragement.

The Finnish team took 40 overweight adults and analysed 2,838 different

weight readings over the course of a year.

They found how and when the individuals weighed themselves related directly to how much weight they lost.

Dr Helander said: "The more often you weigh your­ self, the more weight you lose."

Those who went more than a week without weigh­ ing themselves put on weight and those who weighed themselves once a week were most successful if they did it on a Wednesday.

Friday 19th December 2014

Q

31

I have suffered from recurring gout for many years. The pain affects both my knees and big toes. Colchicine has been very helpful for managing the pain, but I am now worried that it may be suppressing my immunity. I never used to suffer from colds, but I get it a few times a year now. What else can I use to manage gout?

A

Gout is a common cause of arthritic pain due to increased uric acid levels in bodily fluids. The elevated uric acid precipitates into crystals that are deposited around the joints of the toes, cartilage, subcutaneous tissue and bone leading to inflammation and damage to the surrounding areas. These crystals can also lead to the formation of kidney stones. 90% of all cases of gout (primary gout) are of unknown origin and has been linked to gene defects. The remain­ ing 10% (secondary gout) occurs when the raised uric acid is caused by some other factor such as kidney disease, and medications such as aspirin. Primary gout occurs when the body produces a lot of uric acid, or is unable to excrete the uric acid it produces. The drug colchicine has no effect on uric acid levels, but reduces the inflammation it causes by sup­ pressing the activities of white blood cells. It is very effective for managing acute gout pain, but has many side effects such as; lowered immunity, hair loss, depression, and liver dam­ age.

Uric acid is produced when a compound known as purine is broken down in the liver. High levels of purine is found in foods rich in proteins such as organ meats, shellfish, yeast, her­ ring, sardines and also spinach, asparagus and legumes. Cutting down on foods rich in pro­ tein especially red meat and organ meat is key to reducing uric acid levels. Alcohol increases the production of uric acid, and often initiates gouty attacks. In some cases, abstinence may be the only way to prevent such attacks. Obesity and weight gain increases uric acid levels, and in such cases losing weight reduces uric acid levels as well as associated symptoms.

Refined carbohydrate especially wheat also increases uric acid levels in the body. An ideal diet for anyone suffering from gout is a diet low in animal protein, low in fats and high in fibres and complex carbohydrates. Proteins are essential for survival, and should never be avoided but curtailed. Many people do not drink the required amount of water ­ 1.5 – 2 litres daily, which is essential for excreting waste from the body. Drinking adequate amounts of water promotes the excretion of uric acid, and prevents the formation of kidney stones. Cherries and red­blue berries are very effective in lowering uric acid levels. These fruits (cherries, blueberries, hawthorn berries) are rich sources of anti­oxidants – flavonoids that give them

Q A

their deep red­blue colours. Eating a quarter kilo of cherries is known to reduce uric acid levels significantly after 3 hours. Folic acid blocks the enzyme that produces uric acid, work­ ing on the same principle as allopurinol (the drug of choice for treating gout). If you consume vitamin C in high doses (Over 3000mgs daily) to maintain your health, it is important to realise that this may lead to increased production of uric acid and its crystals. Avoid high dose Vitamin C if you suffer from gout.

I went to see my GP for a yearly check­up, and after a blood test he noticed some problems with my thyroid gland and sent me for an Ultrasound Scan. They found 3 small nodules, but did not tell me very much about it. I feel very healthy, and from what I read from the internet, I do not think I have any problems with my thyroid. I will be glad for your opinion.

The thyroid gland is located in front of the neck just below the Adam’s apple. It is shaped like a butterfly, and wraps around the trachea or wind­ pipes. Thyroid hormone abnormalities like those detected by your doctor are usually due to a problem with the thyroid gland itself. Normally, the pituitary gland located in the brain produces a protein called thyroid stim­ ulating hormone (TSH) which stimulates the thyroid gland to produce thyroid hormones­ Thyroxine (T4) and Triiodothyronine (T3). Thyroid nodules are lumps that commonly occur in any part of the thyroid gland. Some can be large and felt quite easily, while others like yours can be hidden deep inside the thyroid tissue. Most thyroid nodules, up to 90% are benign, and do not cause any physical symptoms. In 10% of cases, nodules can be malig­ nant and cause cancer. Since you mentioned that you feel healthy, it is most likely that the nodules detected in your case are benign tumours, which are commonly found in women.

Even though benign thyroid nodules may not cause physical symptoms such as difficulty swallowing or shortness of breath, they nevertheless cause disruptions in the production of thyroid hormones. Thyroid nodules have been linked to a deficiency of iodine in the diet, and this problem can easily be remedied by using iodized cooking salt available from health

shops. The most common way of determining the type of nodule you have is by fine needle aspiration, and your GP may have to perform this procedure in order to collect cell samples for the lab. It is performed by the insertion of very fine needles into the thyroid gland in the neck usually under anaesthesia.

I presume you have another appointment with your doc­ tor, and if not, make an appointment to see him, and discuss the scan report.

32

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 If you talk a certain situation through with someone close this week, you can over­ come their doubts and leave a recent prob­ lem in the past. You could also find out something that gives you an unexpected new advantage. Your career is under lucky stars in the weeks to come, so plan to follow up on recent leads and take a confident, upbeat approach

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Stand back and take stock of where you stand this week and be prepared to push through certain changes. If you stream­ line your routine, you will give yourself more freedom to pursue your personal goals, so deal with all unfinished busi­ ness now in readiness for better times to come. Travel and romance are also linked later in the week.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 This weekend’s Full Moon in your sign gives you the advantage in a situation that you know needs changing. Do not be afraid to show your hand or take decisive action. If you trust your judgment and your inner sense of timing, you can bring about some kind of breakthrough. You could also find that you mean more to someone than you thought.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You are at your most intuitive and sensitive to others’ feelings now, so back your hunch about a recent problem or dilemma in the week ahead. From Thursday, when romantic Venus moves into the area of your skies that rules pleasure, creativity and new depar­ tures, a more adventurous era starts. Do not let domestic ties limit your horizons.

Friday 19th December 2014

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, changes its direction through your sign this week, giving you a chance to see your current situation much more clearly.

This is the right time to reassess your long­term goals, and to give yourself more credit for the things you have achieved to date. Make your own deci­ sions and let no one put you under pres­ sure.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Your ruler, Mercury, joins forces with the energising Sun this week to help you make decisions on domestic issues that you had postponed. If you make your feelings clear, you can solve a recent problem. You will also give yourself more freedom to manoeuvre in the weeks to come. Put your own interests first

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A conversation this weekend could help you find a way to reach your current goal, so break the ice with those concerned and ask for their support or guidance.

With your ruler, Venus, in your chart’s domestic zone from Thursday, your focus shifts to what is happening in your private life. Better times now lie ahead, so do not give in to self­doubt.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Work out your real career priorities this week and do not spread yourself too thinly.

If you concentrate on what you can achieve short­term, instead of being too ambitious, you will reach your goal much sooner. Feedback from someone close later in the week could also make you see how strong your hand is in a tricky situa­ tion. The tide is due to turn.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 This weekend’s Full Moon stresses the importance of your most meaningful bonds with others. It could also throw new light on where you really stand with some­ one close. What matters now is sharing your real feelings and being open, so do not let a chance to reach a deeper under­ standing pass you by

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 This week seductive and romantic Venus enters Capricorn, and a more outgoing and fulfilling phase begins. With Venus easing recent tensions you can afford to let down your defences and ask for what you really want from others, so do not sell yourself too short. A career project also has the stars behind it in the week ahead

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Friendship and social life come first this week, so do not let career issues or demands from someone close limit your horizons. People you spend time with in the weeks to come could have a lot to offer.

They could also boost your confidence about a recent problem or dilemma. Which may be all it takes to break a deadlock and move forward.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Home life takes centre stage this week, when the Full Moon brings a close rela­ tionship into sharper focus. How the situa­ tion will turn out could well be up to you, so do not make a snap decision or let others feel they call the tune. A more outgoing phase begins on Thursday, when pleas­ ure­loving Venus enters your chart’s zone of friendship.

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Friday 19th December 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Chris was having issues with his Yahoo email ADVICE: Mark wanted to know if it was possible to take coming up in Spanish an entire copy of his laptops hard drive.

Q

Hi There. Hope you can find time to answer this query. For the past couple of weeks when I go to sign in to my yahoo mail it is all coming up in Spanish. My yahoo address is .co.uk and my web address is Google.ie so I am at a loss to know why this is hap­ pening. I have done full security scans and got the all clear and by the way my laptop is an Acer with windows 7. So I am hoping you may be able to tell me what the problem might be. Thank you so much.

A

Hi Chris, you can set your preferred language settings from within the options screen, just login to your email and then click on the “cog” icon in the top right hand of the screen and choose “account info” then choose “Set Language, site and time zone” and from here you can choose your default language.

Hope that helps.

ADVICE: Peter is not the first to struggle with the new email client at outlook.com

Q A

Richard, how does one group forward an email on Outlook? Is there a way of view­ ing your contacts, and click adding them, as you could on Hotmail?? If Outlook was supposed to be an improvement, they've failed!! Dismally!! Many thanks, Peter.

Hi Peter, you can forward an email on Outlook.Com by clicking on the little arrow next to the “reply” button.

In order to send a single email to a number of people you can either just select the people and place them in the “to” or “cc” or “bcc” field, if however you want to create a group so that you can send further emails to the same group of people then you should create a new group, you can do this by going into your contacts – now called “people” in out­ look.com and clicking on the arrow next to “new”, you can then choose “group” and populate it with the people you want to be in that group.

You can find your contacts by clicking on the arrow next to “Outlook” in the top left of the screen and then selecting “people”.

You are not alone in struggling with the new version.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hello, I have wiped the hard drive using DBAN and restored back to factory default image using recovery discs, everything was restored except for the hidden recovery partition which now means that I have no means to restore the computer back to default settings without using recovery discs or a clean install every time. It also means that i have no way to create new recovery discs if my present ones become lost or damaged. I have an Acer Extensa 5235 and have been in touch with Acer but all they can do is sell me a set of recovery discs (at around 70 Euros!) that according to them may or may not restore the hidden partition. Is there any way you know of that would restore or com­ pletely reimage the hard drive including all hidden partitions? Any advice you can give will be appreciated. Thank you Mark

Q

Hi Mark, yes recovery disks can be expensive to buy can’t they!

Of course if you want to protect your recovery disks then you can always copy them to keep them safe, but as you suggest this means that you will need to rebuild your computer again from scratch if you needed to recover it.

I have used a piece of software called Acronis TrueImage a number of times and would recommend it to you. You can find out more at their website at www.acronis.co.uk but it will be cheaper than buying a recovery disk set from Acer.

Their software allows you to take a full image of your whole computer (to a set of DVD’s or an external drive or stick) and I highly recommend it.

Hope that helps?

A

ADVICE: James was having some problems with printing

Q

Hi Richard hope you are both well? I am having a problem printing from Outlook. I get my document from Open Office that I want to print I press print as normal a sign now comes up with " PDF Complete Document Creations Options" as a heading. I cannot find a way to print from this sign. Help Please. James Hi James, it sounds to me like you have some sort of PDF creator set as the default printer, you can change this by clicking start > control panel > hardware and sound > devices and printers and then in the printers sec­ tion just right hand click your printer and select the option “set as default printer”.

This should sort out the problem.

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday 19th December 2014

WHAT TO DO IF YOU BREAKDOWN ON THE MOTORWAY A breakdown can be dangerous as well inconvenient, but not if you follow these simple steps

It goes without saying that when your car leaves you stranded by the side of the road, it’s probably going to ruin your day. But it can also throw you into a panic ­ especially if you’re on the motorway when the break­ down happens. Do you know what you should do when things start to go wrong?

Well, you will once you’ve read our step­by­ step guide.

1. Move the car to the side of the road as quickly but safely as possible When something goes wrong, don’t be too eager to apply the brakes if it isn’t neces­ sary. If your engine has stopped, you’ll need to keep your momentum up until you’re safe­ ly at the side of the road. Be prepared for the fact that the steering and brakes might be harder to operate without power assistance.

Remember to check for cars in the inside lanes before you move across. And once you’re on the hard shoulder, try to park the car as close to the verge and as far from the moving traffic as you can.

2. Make sure your car can be seen Turning on the hazard lights is an obvious step, and very important to show that you’re stationary and may be in the way. But if it’s night, you should leave your sidelights (also known as parking lights) switched on too.

This means drivers coming up behind you will be alerted to the presence of your car on the hard shoulder far sooner.

3. Make sure you can be seen In many European countries, it’s a legal requirement to carry a fluorescent high­visi­ bility vest or jacket in your car. That isn’t the case in the UK, but it’s still a very sensible idea to do so. Choose one with reflective strips so you can be seen at night as well as during the day. When you’ve broken down, wear your high­visibility vest any time you’re outside the car.

4. Evacuate the car If you have passengers in the car with you, it’s crucial that you get them out of the car and on to the grass verge, a safe dis­ tance away. Were another driver to acciden­ tally stray onto the hard shoulder and hit your car, the consequences could be cata­ strophic for anyone left inside. Make sure everyone in the car leaves via a left­hand door, to keep them away from the flow of traffic. That said, it’s best to leave pets in the car, unless you can be absolutely certain that you can keep them under control on the verge.

5. Don’t spend time trying to fix the problem Even if you know what the problem is, you shouldn’t try to carry out even minor repairs – and that includes changing a tyre – on the hard shoulder, because this will put you in danger for far longer than is necessary.

Instead, call for help, and then carry out your repairs when your car has been moved to a safer place.

6. Phone for help Hopefully, you’ll have a mobile phone with you, but if you don’t, or if its battery is too low to use, there is another way. Britain’s motor­ way networks have a system of emergency telephones. They’re painted bright orange, and there’s one every mile. To work out where the nearest one is, look for the white posts that mark out the edge of the hard shoulder. They should have arrows painted on them that will point you in the right direc­ tion. Take extreme care when walking along the hard shoulder to the nearest phone, though, and stay as far from the carriageway as you possibly can. When you pick up the phone it will put you straight through to the Highways Agency, who will come out and help. Don’t worry – you won’t have to pay for the call.

7. Await help in a safe place Make sure you stay away from your car while you’re awaiting help. But unless you’re looking for one of the emergency phones, don’t go wandering off along the hard shoulder. If there is a crash barrier close at hand, climb over it and wait behind it. Don’t be tempted to re­ enter the car, even if it is rain­ ing or cold, or allow any of your passengers to retrieve anything from it. You and all of your passengers should always stay as far away from the carriageway as you can until help arrives.

8. Pull away safely If your car’s fault is repaired by the breakdown service you’ve called out, take care when you leave the hard shoulder. Get the car up to speed first. You’ll hear some small stones being thrown up against the under­ neath of the car, but don’t panic – that’s usual. When you’re up to speed, choose a safe gap, indicate, and pull out into the flow of traffic.

Friday 19th November 2014

35

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Friday 19th December 2014

OOH LA LA!

Vive le difference in Los Montesinos for a wonderful chance to sample French cuisine at a restaurant that has got the area talking:­ Le Petit Cochon, which means the Little Pig. It’s your chance to tuck into some very special French dishes cooked by a Frenchman, Franck, who along with his partner Karen opened up the restaurant last autumn. It’s been their dream to bring quality French cuisine to this part of Spain, having lived and worked in France for the last few years.

They have a passion for quality food, and everything that you get is fresh, bringing some wonderful French flavours that have already brought rave reviews from their customers who are coming from far and wide to try out their various

delights.

Why not try some traditional snails or frog’s legs in garlic butter? A wonderfully popular item is the very filling duck breast with fruit of the forest sauce, and there’s a daily selec­ tion of fresh fish to tickle your taste buds. Add a selection of homemade desserts and some fine wines, including some specially brought in from France, and you have all the ingre­ dients to make for a meal to remember.

Franck and Karen give you personal service that will give you a gourmet experience that you will want to repeat again and again, and you can find them right in the middle of Los Montesinos, on the Avenida de La Mar by the crossing over the road from the Sabadell Bank.

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Friday 19th December 2014

ANYONE FOR SPROUT JUICE?

From deep-fried figgy pudding to Christmas dinner-flavoured popcorn, the strangest festive foods on offer this year What pos­ hands on some dinner­themed dairy this Christmas pudding If you find Christmas pudding a bit too heavy after a full turkey roast, look away now. Simpsons Fish & Chip shop in Cheltenham is offering a deep­fried figgy pudding as part of its Christmas menu, served with a choice of brandy butter or vanilla ice cream. Just what you need after a whole cod and chips, a pickled egg and a pie.

Christmas hot dog

We all know that the best part of a Christmas dinner is the pigs in blankets, but the good folk at Manchester's Splendid Sausage Company might have got a little bit carried away when they invented "The Christmas Dinner Dog". This festive treat includes all the traditional components of a Christmas Day feast from turkey to parsnips, but stuffed with a beef and horseradish sausage inside a roll. Tasty.

Christmas dinner popcorn

It's been said that the average Briton

packs away as many as 7,000 calories a day on Christmas Day, so why no replace all that stodge with low­fat popcorn? Selfridge's Christmas dinner popcorn comes in a vari­ ety of eyebrow­raising flavours, from pigs in blankets to turkey, lemon and thyme, and (as they handily point out) is only 250 calo­ ries a box. Still, it doesn't feel quite right to us – even if it would save on a lot of washing up.

Brussels sprout juice

sessed M&S to put the most hated Christmas vegetable in juice form?

This drink should be horrible but, due to the fact the sprouts are mixed with copious amounts of apple and pear juice, doesn’t actually taste too bad.

Still – we’d rather keep brassicas out of our breakfast, please.

month. Shopping centre Wembley Park is offering shoppers free pots of Christmas meal­flavoured ice cream, which features 19 ingredients such as turkey, cranberry, sage and Brussels sprouts. As if having to face the Christmas shopping rush wasn’t bad enough already.

Christmas dinner ice cream

If turkey­flavoured popcorn doesn't sound weird enough for you, you can also get your

CHRISTMAS CHEESECAKE This pudding can be made the day before and stored in the fridge. You can cheat by using crumbled ready­made ginger biscuits for the base, but the flavour of homemade will be very special. You will require a 25cm loose­based round tin (not with scalloped edges), buttered.

For the biscuit base 120g butter 165g dark brown sugar 1 tbsp black treacle or molasses 2 tsp ground ginger 1 egg ¼ tsp vanilla essence 225g plain flour ¾ tsp baking powder For the filling 125g golden sultanas 2 tbsp vin santo or Marsala 1kg ricotta 180ml double cream 4 eggs 125g caster sugar A few gratings of nutmeg 40g plain flour

To decorate Pomegranate pips Crushed pistachios To make the biscuit base, cream 80g of the butter with the sugar in a standing mixer until pale and light­tex­ tured. Add the treacle, gin­ ger, egg, vanilla essence, flour and baking powder with a pinch of salt.

Mix to a dough, then turn the dough out on to the worktop. Form into a ball and chill for 30 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 180C/gas mark 4.Take the dough out of the fridge and roll it out very thinly, to about ½cm. Place it on a baking sheet lined with baking paper, and bake for 15 min­ utes, until dry and golden brown.

Allow to cool, then put in a plastic bag. Break the biscuit into pieces and then smash it to crumbs using a rolling pin.

Melt the remaining butter

and add it to the crumbs in a bowl. Tip the crumbs into the tart tin, then press them into the base evenly.

Preheat the oven to 190C/gas mark 5, ready to bake the cheesecake.

Soak the sultanas in the wine.

Put the remaining filling ingredients – except for the flour – in a standing mixer and whisk for about five min­ utes (or use a hand­held electric whisk).

Stir in the sultanas and then fold in the flour.

Spoon the mixture into the tin and use a smooth the surface spatula.

Bake for about an hour, until the cheesecake is just set – it should still be a little wobbly in the middle.

Leave to cool in the tin.

Unmould, and scatter the pomegranate pips and pista­ chios over the surface of the cheesecake.

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Friday 19th December 2014

Friday 19th December 2014

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40

Friday 19th December 2014

Irwin International Removal Services SL is a fully legal reg­ istered removals and storage company based in Dolores, close to Torrevieja on the Costa Blanca.

The London based offices have been established over 20 years, and the European office has been established over 10 years here in Spain, and is a family run business, provid­ ing local, national, international and worldwide removals.

Irwins’ have a large secure and fully alarmed warehouse in Dolores offering safe and secure storage at very competitive

Kidease Nursery Hire is a family run busi­ ness who are leaders in Baby & Toddler Equipment Hire here in Spain. Kidease is a legal, registered business and is a member of The International Business Association (TIBA). We are currently the longest and most well established baby equipment hire company Spain and have been serving par­ ents for over a decade. We have maintained our reputation and business as we offer a personable and professional service with high quality products that all meet required EU safety standards. We provide a wide range of products with swift delivery and col­ lection. We operate areas from and inbe­ tween San Javier Airport, La Manga, Murcia, Punta Prima, Torrevieja and Alicante (includ­ ing Alicante Airport).

rates including full insurance. They are currently offering storage for from 5 euros per week.

They are also able to store cars, boats, caravans etc in their secure, tarmac yard which is floodlit at night and covered by CCTV for security.

Moving home can be stressful enough, so having peace of mind with your contracted company is one less aspect to worry about. Irwin International have a commitment to best practice and provide their customers with an assurance of the standards and integrity of our business.

Irwin International staff have been trained to the highest standards in export wrapping and packing and use only quality materials.

Customers are most welcome to visit the Irwin International warehouse in Dolores to see samples of the export wrapping service and discuss all aspects of home removal over a cof­ fee with Mandy, the managing director, who will explain all the procedures from start to finish, from the pre move survey

We can provide you with: Cots, High Chairs, Car Safety Seats, Strollers, Prams, Stair Gates, Baby Walkers, Toys, Rockers, Monitors , Sterilisers, Baths, Changing mats and much much more. We can also provide a range of consumables ready for your arrival, to include:Nappies, Wipes, Food & Drink, Baby Formula Products andother miscellaneous items.

REMEMBER if it’s not listed but you want … we’ll get it for you.

Call us for more information ­ www.kideasenurseryhire.com Alicante Airport to Punta Prima ­ Call Roy ­ 966 764 267 or 665 124 448 Playa Flamenca to La Manga ­ Call Mick ­ 966 763 795 or 690 230 538

for ascertaining volume, through packing, the reasons for making full inventories at time of collection, insurance cover­ age for loss or damage, and through to safe delivery at the other end.

Mandy says “ Advice costs nothing, and I have learnt a lot over the years working at Irwins’. If I can help a customer avoid downfalls and chose the right company for them, then even if we do not secure the job ourselves, I will have helped in some way. I believe that transparency in business is the key. Give the customers all the information and let them make an educated choice.

Address: Nave A Partida Lo Vera Ctra Dolores­Catral KM1 03150 Alicante Tel: 965 726 544 609 903 529 Email: info@irwinremovals.es Web site www.irwinremovals.com

C&M CLEANING SERVICES UPHOLSTERY CLEANING SPECIALISTS

C & M Cleaning Services have been established in the cleaning business since 1988, ini­ tially in the UK and for the last 9 years based in Torrevieja.

We provide a full range of professional cleaning services, from the specialist cleaning of sofas and suites both fabric and leather, rugs, carpets, mattresses, curtains, blinds, car, car­ avan, and boat interiors, We undertake all cleaning work including domestic cleaning, spring cleaning and deep cleaning of property after bad tenants, floods etc. We steam clean and de­grease kitchens both domestic and commercial and steam cleaning of bathrooms. If you are buying or selling a property we provide a cleaning service tailored to your requirements.

Insurance work is also undertaken.

What ever your cleaning requirements. Entire home, bar or just a rug, call for a free no obli­ gation quote, 966 789 370 or 660 718 259 or email cm.cleaning1@yahoo.com

41

Friday 19th December 2014

Property

thediscountcard.es

Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

42

Friday 19th December 2014

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or direc­ tions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf­ spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoy­ ance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certi­ fied healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcen­ trecostablana@gmail.com

INSURANCE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for

a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL MEDIA needs self­ employed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30­40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with home­ work, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provid­ ed, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time car­ pet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer fac­ ing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information BUSY HAIR & BEAUTY

CAR HIRE

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

SALON IN THE PLAYA FLA­ MENCA AREA REQUIRES A PART­TIME FULLY QUALIFED BEAUTICIAN TO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY & PROFESSIONAL TEAM. TEL: 648111779 FOR DETAILS. Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

POOL TABLES

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

CARPENTER

GARDENER

CLEANERS

43

Friday 19th December 2014

CAR BREAKERS

DRAINAGE

REMOVALS

PETS

POOLS

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

SURVEYOR

PLUMBERS

VAN HIRE

44

Friday 19th December 2014

SIX OF THE YULETIDE BEST

As the festive season hits us full face, it might be worth reminding you about a few festive golfing rules that you might have forgotten about! There will be times this Christmas when you’d rather be on a golf course than sitting next your drunken uncle laughing at bad girlie jokes. For the sake of family harmony, marital bliss and securing those golf weekends away next year, here are a few suggestions con­ cerning golf over the holiday period.

My true love gave to me Your nearest and dearest know just how much you love the game, so it’s not unreasonable to think you may find a few golf­related gifts under the Christmas tree. You may have even hinted that you need a new pair of golf shoes, a trip to Valderrama down south would be nice or a dozen golf balls would always come in handy. But with belly­putter’s on the way out and going cheap, it will be obvious if Santa decides a belly putter is what you need. It will be the long skinny thing propping up the Christmas tree, in a way that seems to take all the skill out of the tree propping up itself. Be mindful of your own reaction if you don’t receive any golf gear though. This may just be an oversight on your family’s behalf, but it may also be a message that perhaps you are a little too obsessed with what they naively call ‘just a game’.

Don’t even think about playing golf on Christmas Day With your new white driver unwrapped, the thought of an empty golf course on Christmas Day may be a tempting one.

On the list of “things you should never, ever do”, playing golf on Christmas Day is not that far behind planning a golf trip on your wedding anniversary. Banish the thought immedi­ ately, put the driver in the bag and focus on carving up the turkey. You, your family and your future will be better for it.

Careful what you wish for A new set of golf clubs for your partner may seem like the perfect Christmas gift at the time, but this seemingly gener­ ous act is a double­edged sword. Firstly, you may just be pushing a sewage cart uphill. Ask yourself if your partner really wants to play golf. Have they really shown any desire to embrace the game as you did? If not, you may just be buying a set of clubs that will tragically just sit in the shed all year. Secondly, do you really want other family members playing golf? You may well think that you’ll get to play more golf, but your last peaceful refuge may be gone forever.

Keep the in­law’s happy The in­law’s may not know the full extent of your golfing

addiction and certainly won’t know the difference between a lob and a gap wedge. If you unwrap a present and find a golf gift pack like the one’s usually sold at department stores with a free bottle of aftershave, just keep calm. Feign excitement the best way you can and claim that you will be using the rock hard golf balls the very next round of golf you play.

worst presents they had ever received are (no names, no pack drill!) Here's what they said: 1: “I got a 'fun' desktop putting game" 2: "I got a divot repairer. Anyone who's seen me play would know how optimistic that was."

3: "I got a world's greatest golfer mug. There was also a clicker device to help me count my strokes for the hole."

4: "I got a potty putter last year. I kept it in the box, re­ wrapped it, and gave it to a mate as a present."

5: "A "rangefinder" that was basically a small telescope with a picture of a flag on the end of the lens. It was accurate to about 100 feet..."

AND THE TOP FIVE WORST GIFTS:­ 1. Cheap balls 2. Novelty balls 3. Ball monogrammer 4. The wrong handed glove or club 5. High street golf gift sets

THE TOP FIVE MOST RECEIVED GIFTS:­ 1. Novelty gifts (balls, headcovers or socks) 2. High street golf gift sets 3. Automatic putt returner 4. Putting game / toilet matt combo 5. Ball monogrammer

THE TOP FIVE THAT NEVER MAKE IT OUT OF THE PACKET:­ Get a round in on Boxing Day If you have the energy to drag yourself away from the Boxing Day football on the TV, get out on the golf course and try out that new, shiny white driver. It would be a mean soul to deny you that privilege after the superb work you did carving up that turkey yesterday. And some of those golf jokes you told Uncle Leo were priceless!

Don’t book in a round for New Year’s Day Too often golfers cancel their tee time on New Year’s Day or they stumble around in sweating off all sorts of alcoholic beverages from the night before. While it may be a good opportunity to lose those gift­pack golf balls, you are no John Daly. Besides, those shiny white drivers can hurt the eyes if you are nursing a nasty hangover.

XMAS GOLF TURKEYS With less than a week to go before Christmas Day, I’ve been thinking what is the worst golfing gift that you have ever got from your loved ones? This is a list of the top five worst ever golf gifts, but what are your tales of horror about the worst golfing presents you've unwrapped on Christmas morning?

Your loved ones have put a huge amount of effort into this present. After all, you're a golfer, so why wouldn't you want a golf jigsaw/desktop putting game/potty putter/'world's greatest golfer' mug? I asked a number of golfers what the

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Player A slices his shot onto an adjoining fairway close to Player B's ball, who is playing the other hole. The balls are very close together, are the same model and number and have no identification marks on them, so the players cannot tell whose ball belongs to whom. Which of the following is correct?

A: ­ The players must decide by mutual agreement which ball belongs to each of them and proceed without penalty.

B: ­ Both balls are lost, the players must proceed under Rule 27­1 (Stroke & Distance).

C: ­ Both players are penalised one stroke, must decide which ball belongs to which player by drawing lots or tossing a coin and proceed from where the balls lie.

1. Novelty gifts (balls, head covers or socks) 2. Automatic putt returner 3. Generic gift set 4. Putting game / toilet matt combo 5. ‘Deluxe’ scorecard

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM SANTA? 1. Top brand golf balls 2. Clothing gift set 3. Driver 4. Set of irons 5. GPS 6. Golf Bag 7. Golf Trolley 8. Golf Glove 9. Putter 10. Hybrid Will you get just one of them? NOPE!

HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR

TITTER ON THE TEE The Priest woke up on Christmas morning. It was a beau­ tiful day and decided he just had to play golf. So he told the Deacon that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him. He went to a golf course about forty miles away as he knew he wouldn't meet anyone from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Christmas morning and everyone was in church!

St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from heaven and asked: ­ "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord said, "No, I guess not."

Just then the Priest hit the ball. It shot straight toward the pin, dropped just short of it, and rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

ANSWER

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?!

C: ­ Both balls are lost, the players must proceed under Rule 27­1 (Stroke & Distance) & Definition of “Lost Ball”

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

45

Friday 19th December 2014

The Courier is off for the next fortnight to celebrate Christmas and the New Year. That means our next edition will be on Friday 9th January 2015. Festive greetings and thanks to all of our sporting contributors.

EASY PICKINGS CRUZ AZUL 0

REAL MADRID 4

MINNOWS THRASHED BARCELONA 8

HUESCA 1 (Agg 12­1)

Barcelona romped to easy place in the last 16 of the Copa del Rey on Tuesday night, as they destroyed third division Huesca. After winning the first leg 4­0, Barcelona rested key players Lionel Messi, Neymar and Luis Suarez. They were not needed as Pedro Rodriguez(held aloft) scored a first­half hat­trick while Sergi Roberto and Andres Iniesta also scored before the break.

Adriano, Adama Traore and Sandro Ramirez added further goals, while Galvez Burgos scored a consolation.

Gareth Bale(pictured celebrating) was on target as Real Madrid eased into the Club World Cup final with their 21st successive win on Tuesday night in Marrakech. Defender Sergio Ramos headed in Toni Kroos' cross for the opener, before strik­ er Karim Benzema powered in.

The Mexican side missed a penalty just before half­time and Bale's header punished them after the restart. Isco smashed in the fourth to confirm Madrid's place in tomorrow night’s final against South American champi­ ons, San Lorenzo.

OFF THE PACE THE REAL DEAL GETAFE 0

BARCELONA 0

Barcelona slipped four points behind leaders Real Madrid after drawing a blank on a damp and luckless Saturday afternoon at Getafe. Luis Enrique's side could even have lost the game in the final seconds of stoppage time as substitute Alvaro Vazquez muscled his way towards goal, but the final whistle was blown before the striker could get his shot away, with the game ending 0­0. The closest the Catalans came to scoring was from a Lionel Messi free­kick that hit the woodwork. They’re at home to Cordoba tomorrow afternoon in their final match before the holiday break.

ALMERIA 1

REAL MADRID 4

Two late goals from Cristiano Ronaldo helped Real Madrid increase their Spanish record run to 20 straight wins with victory at struggling Almeria last Friday night. Carlo Ancelotti's men ensured they would end their domestic year in style but only after a scare as Almeria striker Verza briefly drew his team level and could have done so again had he not missed a second half penalty. Real surpassed the previous record held jointly with Barcelona when they beat Ludogorets in the Champions League last week, and are guaranteed the La Liga top spot with Barcelona failing to win at Getafe. Real’s next match is away to Valencia on Sunday January 4th.

UNLUCKY BUT POINTLESS

Elche came away from fellow strugglers Deportivo with absolutely nothing on Monday night, and are now without a league win since beating Espanyol on November 2nd. They remain rooted at the bottom of the Primera Division, with supporters wondering where the next point is coming from, let alone a victory. In truth though, they were unlucky not to have come away with something from the match, but that’s what happens to sides that appear to have a relegation hoodoo put on them.

Deportivo started brightly, despite the wretched wet condi­ tions, as Jose Toche was just off target with a close­range header. Elche threatened when Garry Rodrigues got into space in the right side of the Depor penalty area, but dragged his shot wide, whilst at the other end, Toche found the target with a glancing header, but Przemyslaw Tyton got down to make a smart save. Elche’s Polish goalkeeper, how­ ever, could do little to stop Farina's effort on 22 minutes,

DEP LA CORUNA 1 ELCHE 0

which flew into the top right corner after being set up by Jose Rodriguez. The Ilicitanos almost struck a quick equaliser, but Jonathas' header was saved. Elche remained dangerous on the break, with Victor Rodriguez just unable to convert a deep right­wing cross when flying in at the far post.

Ten minutes into the second half, Elche boss Fran Escriba made a change in an attempt to spark some life into his side as defensive midfielder Jose Angel was replaced by Mario Pasalic. They raised the tempo and went close on the hour as a corner was headed over by Jonathas, before a looping header from Rodriguez was also just off target. Deportivo were indebted to goalkeeper Fabricio with just five minutes left when he somehow deflected a goalbound effort from Enzo Roco off of his face and up over the crossbar. Elche’s final match of the year seems them at home to Malaga this Sunday evening, and a holiday break that will leave the club with plenty to ponder.

SHARKS ON TOP ORIHUELA DOUBLE

The San Javier Sharks notched up a double last weekend, with the first team(pictured)bag­ ging a 12 points to 8 home victory over Totana in their second division encounter, whilst the ladies produced a strong performance to beat CUDER Murcia, 48­nil. Elsewhere, the Torrevieja Tigers whitewashed Totana by 71 points to nil in the Cadete League contest at the Nelson Mandela stadium.

It was a successful weekend for ITV Orihuela Vega Baja’s Rugby players with victories for their senior and cadete sides over Lorca. The senior team rolled over Lorca, 25­10,(pictured in action) and quickly raced to a 14­nil lead in their first division home encounter , as a brave Lorca side tried to fight back but to no avail. Meanwhile, the ITV Cadetes side crossed over for six tries in their easy 36­0 victory over their Lorca counterparts.

46

Friday 19th December 2014

The Courier is off for the next fortnight to celebrate Christmas and the New Year. That means our next edition will be on Friday 9th January 2015. Festive greetings and thanks to all of our sporting contributors.

SPORTS FIXTURES

Saturday 20 December 13:45 Manchester City v. Crystal Palace 16:00 Aston Villa v. Manchester United 16:00 Hull City v. Swansea City 16:00 Queens Park Rangers v. West Bromwich Albion 16:00 Southampton v. Everton 16:00 Tottenham Hotspur v. Burnley 16:00 West Ham United v. Leicester City

Sunday 21 December 14:30 Newcastle United v. Sunderland 17:00 Liverpool v. Arsenal

Monday 22 December 21:00 Stoke City v. Chelsea

Friday 26 December 13:45 Chelsea v. West Ham United 16:00 Burnley v. Liverpool 16:00 Crystal Palace v. Southampton 16:00 Everton v. Stoke City 16:00 Leicester City v. Tottenham Hotspur 16:00 Manchester United v. Newcastle United 16:00 Sunderland v. Hull City 16:00 Swansea City v. Aston Villa 16:00 West Bromwich Albion v. Manchester City 18:30 Arsenal v. Queens Park Rangers

Sunday 28 December 13:00 Tottenham Hotspur v. Manchester United 15:05 Southampton v. Chelsea 16:00 Aston Villa v. Sunderland 16:00 Hull City v. Leicester City 16:00 Manchester City v. Burnley 16:00 Queens Park Rangers v. Crystal Palace 16:00 Stoke City v. West Bromwich Albion 16:00 West Ham United v. Arsenal 17:15 Newcastle United v. Everton

Monday 29 December 21:00 Liverpool v. Swansea City

Thursday 1 January 13:45 Stoke City v. Manchester United 16:00 Aston Villa v. Crystal Palace 16:00 Hull City v. Everton 16:00 Liverpool v. Leicester City 16:00 Manchester City v. Sunderland 16:00 Newcastle United v. Burnley 16:00 Queens Park Rangers v. Swansea City 16:00 Southampton v. Arsenal 16:00 West Ham United v. West Bromwich Albion 18:30 Tottenham Hotspur v. Chelsea

ONLY IN SPAIN CREVILLENTE 1

CD TORREVIEJA 1

Torrential rain forced the abandon­ ment of last Sunday’s match at Crevillente after 61 minutes with the score standing at one­all, but rather than replaying the whole fixture, Valencian FA rules bizarrely saw both teams trooping up to the same venue on Wednesday night to play out the remaining 29 min­ utes, which ended up being of little con­ sequence!

The “first” meeting saw Rafa Gomez putting an excellent free kick into the net from 25 yards in the 11th minute, but Crevillente equalised just five minutes later, again from a free kick, but this time headed home by Navarro, who was completely unchallenged in the Torry goal area.

Wednesday night’s weather was a very different affair with a beautiful clear evening, with both teams keen to set the tempo. Torry showed great enterprise down the flanks with Cristian pos­ sessing far too much pace and guile for his markers who started to accumulate cautions. However, on the break, Crevillente showed they might threaten and Oscar had to be at his dominant best to punch clear from a deep free kick from the right. Torry had no less than four free kicks but all were just that little bit too far from goal in the 30­35 yard region and in every instance the ball was blazed mightily high over the crossbar.

It all proved to be an anti­climax with no real danger or excitement and the referee called it a day right on time with­ out a second to be added on. It is a pity the full game was not replayed as 29 minutes of football seemed somewhat

inconsequential. It was lucky that this fixture meant little trav­ elling time for Torry and one wonders what might have been the determination had they been playing one of the many teams in the Northern Valencian region?

Good news did abound though as former midfield play­ maker, Corella, was sitting in the stands next to the suspend­ ed Jorge. He has signed for the club, having moved to 2B Jumilla from Torry three years ago. He will add much needed steel and authority to the midfield and may be eligible for Sunday's fixture if the paperwork is processed efficiently.

Torry play their final match of 2014 at the Nelson Mandela Stadium on Sunday with a 5.00pm kick off, hoping to beat relegation placed La Nucia and end the year with the hope that a spot in the play­offs remains a distinct possibility.

LOPEZ GIFTS NEW BOYS CD MONTESINOS 2

Last Sunday’s encounter will be remembered more for the atrocious weather conditions and two early Xmas presents from the Monte keep­ er as opposed to the quality of the football. The Cox­based Borneo side, fresh to the division, came away with the points, and got the perfect start as they took the lead through Kaxorro after just five minutes courtesy of a Lopez howler after just five minutes. Monte hit back ten min­ utes later when striker Vaz got on the end of the cross to level up the scores, with the home side coming close with Macan and Carlos, before Macan made it two­one to leave the hundred or so drenched home fans happy at half­time as they huddled under their umbrellas.

But a damp shadow cast a huge puddle of

CD BORNEO 3

despair for the Monte fans, as Borneo drew level through Leo after ten minutes of the sec­ ond half, and then the home side were left ruing another foul up from keeper Lopez. With Monte searching for a winner, Lopez had posi­ tioned himself too far away from his goal, per­ haps dreaming of a dry Christmas, and the Borneo striker Kaxorro grabbed a grateful gift to put his side into the lead. Monte pressed for an equaliser with Carlos, Vaz, and Macan all going close, but a defeat it was with both sides grateful of a hot shower afterwards. Monte are fifth in the Segunda Regional Group 15 table, four points behind the leaders Bigastro, and they’re away to mid­table Pilar de la Horadada based Grupo Caliche this Sunday.

MAKING A SPLASH

Some of the youngsters of Club Natacion Torrevieja had some early seasonal cheer with some good performances last weekend in the last time control event of 2014, staged at Petrer’s Municipal Pool. Torrevieja’s eight swimmers were up against 220 competitors from around the region in a range of events.

In the 100m Butterfly races Vilja Therese Bilstad, Vicky Pigneur and Amy Connolly all had good swims, with Vicky and Amy each slic­ ing off a second off their per­ sonal bests. All three girls then took part in the 400m Freestyle, with once again Vicky and Amy smashing their best ever times, knock­ ing 18 and 12 seconds respectively off their personal bests.

For the boys, the youngest

team member, Sergio Martin Moreda swam the 50m Breaststroke for the first time as did colleagues Patrick Met and Nicholas Zon Acuna in their 100m Breaststroke events.

Finally, Vitalio Veres improved upon his previous best 100m Breaststroke time by eight seconds.

47

Friday 19th December 2014

SWAN LAKE UNDER THE BRIDGE?

Re­arrange the following into a topical sentence: offensive; bot­ tling it; diving; referees; cheats. Or perhaps you like your quotes pro­ found, try this from Mark Lawrenson: ‘It’s a blight on our game’. The current heinous crime in British football is diving, i.e sim­ ulating suffering a foul to get a free kick, or penalty and get the other bloke booked or sent off.

One of Chelsea and England’s big suc­ cesses in recent years is Gary Cahill. But on Saturday, the Blues’ big centre­back was very lucky to have stayed on the field on two counts during their deserved 2 – 0 away win over hapless Hull. The Tigers’ Huddlestone had been rightly sent off for an ‘X’ rated tack­ le on Felipe Luis, but Cahill had also hit Sone Aluko hard, only receiving a cowardly yellow card from controversial ref Chris Foy. But worse was to come as Chelsea’s rock theatrically collapsed in the Hull area. The home players were not impressed and seven incandescent players surrounded Foy. Soon after, he booked Diego Costa for a similar offence, and Willian had earlier had his name taken for blatant diving: that’s three separate incidents in the match ­ all from the same side. If you doubt the serious­ ness of it all how about these home­based opinions. First from the opposition: ­ Hull manager Steve Bruce: ‘It was like something out of Swan Lake out there, it’s that blatant….he's booked two players for diving and Cahill is lucky to be on the pitch for his first challenge. If he hasn't dived there, then I don't know what one is. We all know what he's trying to do, he's trying to get a penalty. The referee is 10 yards away and there's no excuse. We need him to do his job otherwise it will keep rearing its ugly head…

Chris Foy had one of those awful after­ noons. If I say what I really, genuinely want to say, then I'll be hauled up in front of the FA. BBC pundit Garth Crooks led the experts condemnation: ‘Chris Foy booked two play­ ers for diving. Cahill was a massive decision to make, he bottled it. It's disgraceful. It questions the integrity of the refereeing. Is he intimidated by Stamford Bridge? That’s the only conclusion you can come to, it’s because it's Chelsea… an experienced ref­

Mourinho insists his players do not dive: ‘We spoke last sea­ son about simulation…

I was the first one to say to Oscar that he has to stay on his feet… many players from other teams do that too much. In Chelsea we are clean.

Willian was in the mid­ dle of the pitch, so not even a reason to dive, and I don't think Diego's is a dive. I had this question before…I don't believe Cahill dived…if you tell me I am wrong because he

eree…the injustice has got the Hull players' blood boiling.

Former Arsenal striker John Hartson: ‘Diving needs to be stamped out…more intervention, more punishment… it’s spread­ ing throughout football right now. Certainly in the Premier League. There is too much of it….not acceptable. The authorities are not clamping down on it strongly enough.’

Gary Lineker: ‘Diving is getting silly.

Players need to self­police the game. The only way it will change. What is the point of the PFA if they can't get their players to have a code of conduct?’

Robbie Savage: ’When is it going to stop…seeing more and more of it….Gary Cahill did get away with it. It just has to stop.’

Danny Murphy: ‘Hull were unlucky because Gary Cahill was let off. Cahill's reaction is what saved him… It's either a penalty or a yellow card and fans get frus­ trated by the lack of consistency.’

Despite Jose Mourinho’s dark protesta­ tions, Chelsea are serial offenders: Costa, Willian, Oscar, Ivanovic, and Hazard all reg­ ularly go down like they’ve been shot. Are Mourinho’s continental experience and roots behind the practice so loathed on our shores? Yes, Mourinho was asked about it, and the man stood up for Cahill. The one lonely voice who refuses to be dictated to by pundits, or his opposing manager and his opponents or overwhelming video evidence.

SANTA’S SPINE

Even Santa needs extra help to carry all those heavy sacks at this time of year. All the bending, lifting, push­ ing and pulling... the wonders of laser therapy could help to keep his back stronger, his spine healthier.

Many of us take our spines for granted. We may com­ plain about a sprained ankle or a stiff neck, but no one thinks about a 'swollen spine.’ The spine is central to our general state of health. It is full of nerves, muscles and lig­ aments, connecting to all other parts of our body. Over 70% of spinal problems are associated with lower back pain. Repetitive strains (e.g. bending from the waist, instead of from the knee), awkward lifting angles or an incorrect seating position, can test our bodies to their lim­ its.

At the Benijofar Chiropractic Clinic, Dr Hans Christian Madsen D.C. sees many cases where lower back pain has

dived, some­ thing hap­ pened… that big, honest guy, I don't believe he dived in the opposition's box.'

Did that placate Crooks? No, way, Jose.

‘Mourinho said other clubs seem to be div­ ing… justifica­ tion for your team doing it, is it? …we're talking about your team, Jose… you are wrong about Willian not simu­ lating because Chris Foy booked him… wrong about Gary Cahill, because he dived…man­ agers coming to post­match inter­ views saying they haven't seen an

affected people's lives. Sciatica, (where trapped nerves cause pain, travelling from the lower back, through the but­ tocks and down the sciatic nerve running down the back of the leg), is one of the most common issues for patients. He also treats many people who have developed arthritis in their joints. This is also one of the most common causes of trapped nerves.

Treatment for Osteoarthritis: He has many years experience using Shockwave thera­ py. Over time, calcification can build up affecting the joints of the body, including shoulders, hips, knees, hands or feet.

Shockwave therapy removes this calcification which helps to release trapped nerves resulting in more move­ ment and less pain. Patients are then treated with laser therapy, which helps to regenerate new cell growth.

Laser Therapy: Dr Madsen has developed his own specific laser systems which can strengthen and heal damaged cells. They pro­ duce a penetrating light which supplies energy to the body.

incident…. cameras and monitors every­ where. I don't think a manager should give us any nonsense about not having seen it.’

So the evidence is overwhelming, guilty as charged – but can it be stopped? If there is one man today who knows and under­ stands Jose Mourinho, then it’s his captain John Terry, veteran of both periods of Mourinho management at Chelsea. In a recent interview Terry admitted he is still hugely influenced and challenged to regular­ ly perform to high standards by the Portuguese man. His manager keeps every­ one on their toes, said Terry, his word is law at Stamford Bridge. So there we have it: if managers, maybe even one like mighty myopic Mourinho decide to put a stop to div­ ing – and they could, with just a firm word – then the practice would cease almost overnight. But will it?

PS: I watched Derby v Chelsea t’other night – didn’t see a dive all night (mind you, only one of the chief suspects started)!

The tissues and cells absorb this energy where it is used to accelerate the nor­ mal rate of healing. It brings vital nutrients and fluids to cartilage and discs and increases blood flow to the injured area. It is also par­ ticularly helpful in reducing inflammation.

Laser therapy is safe, non invasive, non toxic, easily applied, highly effec­ tive and has no negative side effects.

Our website: www.chiropractor­ benijofar.es explains more about how the treatments work. We are open until 2pm on 24th December, opening again on Monday 29th December as usual. Tel: 966 185 242 / 693 371 616/617

48

Friday 19th December 2014

ARRIVEDERCI ROME, EEY OOP LEICESTER!

The road back from Italy to the East Midlands was illuminated by Lampard, as Man City’s record Prem poacher Frank notched the only goal at that King Power stadi­ um to keep the Blues strong in sec­ ond place. Just nothing is going right for lowly luckless losers Leicester, the Foxes have now con­ ceded 27 goals in 16 games ­ but scored only 15. Changing goal­ keepers hasn’t worked, its goals scored the Foxes need – at the right end…

After Man City’s towering performance in Rome, the domestic win was required by Manuel’s men to keep up with Chelsea (for Bridging News see over). Their old boy, thoroughbred Frank now has 175 Prem goals that’s the same as the great Thierry Henry ­ except he’s a striker. Surely City won’t let Frank fly over the pond Stateside yet? He ‘s too darn good for the Yanks, Lamps needs to stay and show Chelsea just how wrong they were to let him go… Hey it’s Barcelona for City in the quarter finals of the Champions League now – and City could do it, the way they’re playing..

In ‘The Big One’, City’s nasty neighbours are now nudging ‘em. United’s three goals came from Rooney, Mata and van Persie, plus superb saves from the Red Devils’ great goalkeeper and man of the match David De Gea saw the Red Devils home against mediocre Merseyside opposition from a changed, confused side in trouble. Result: Manchester United 3 Liverpool 0.

Super Sunday saw United more restored to superior

John McGregor reports

status in the prestigious Prem, and achieved without Di Maria, Falcao, Blind, Rojo, Shaw, Rafael and Smalling, plus a few other notables. It certainly looks like van Gaal has risen to the challenge with six con­ secutive wins. Top four – and Europe – will be success and a welcome reversal of fortune at Old Trafford…

Liverpool? Oh, yes. the Reds had their chances with Sterling and later Balotelli, but de Gea was inspired.

Poor old Simon Mignolet looks like he was on The Apprentice as he’s been fired ‘indefinitely’. Bruce Grobbelar’s snide comparisons to Dracula staying in his coffin and avoiding crosses will hurt, although fin­ gers have also been pointed at Lovren ­ but with 22 goals conceded in only 16 games no­one in the Liverpool defence is safe… and it’s Arsenal come Sunday. Amazingly Roberto Mancini wants mental Mario Balo back in Milan. Quick, Liverpool – get rid!

Scouse bragging rights now go to Everton on goal dif­ ference. In Mersyside’s Blue corner barnstorming Barkley’s back. After a modest start to the season Everton are winning again and doing well in the Europa League. Ross Barkley scored a solo belter on Monday night to give the Toffees a tasty 3 – 1 win over Quite Pathetic Really, who stay in the bottom three with Hull and Leicester.

Citizen Kane and Abel Christianson saw off smooth Swansea in Swales in a super Sunday stunner. A tow­ ering header from Harry Kane put Spurs ahead, only to be pegged back by the Premier League’s leading scor­ er of 2014, Wilfried Bony with his eighth in ten games.

It stayed 1 – 1 until two minutes from the end when classy Christianson won it for Tottenham to sink Swansea’s sterling efforts and send Spurs seventh –

two points behind Arsenal ­ who else…

Suffering Saints: Barnes­storming Burnley did it again, this time 1 – 0 over Southampton, but more significant­ ly the win moved the Clarets out of the DDD – although Tadic had his good­looking penalty saved early doors

by Heaton. Dumped out of the Capital One Cup on Wednesday by League One battlers Sheffield United its five defeats on the trot now for Saints. Playing Palace on Saturday might stop the slide if they can stand the noise from those terrific fans at Selhurst Park.

Santi Clause seasonably served up two goals on his 30th birthday, but at the Emirates no Christmas carols rang out. ‘There’s Only One Arsene Wenger..’rang out lustily to celebrate Arsenal’s 3 ­1 win over improved Newcastle. Surely not sung by the same (fickle?) ones who were giving Monsieur Wenger violent verbal vitriol at the Stoke railway station last week? Surely not, Gooners aren’t all like Piers Morgan, are they?

Toujours Francais Arsenal play Monaco in the Champions League. Mais oui, you don’t think Arsenal could…? Nah… Coiffure question: did the Gunners Olivier Giroud go to the same butcher ­ sorry, I mean barber as Matthieu Debuchy? They’re all at it, even Adam Lallana’s got that ghastly modern style, that is shaved viciously right up the back and sides with a gelled pancake on top – French chic or bloody cheek?

In the Brummichham derby it was West Brom who stole the honours over Aston Villa with a late Gardner goal, the Baggies well­overdue for a win. Kieran Richardson was sent off early doors for a dreadful early tackle. Well done referee Mike Dean, I say!