The Courier - Edition 197

Edition 197

www.thecourier.es

Friday 28th November 2014

SEX RING SWOOP

POPE CALLS GRANADA COPS OVER ABUSE CLAIMS

By ALEX TRELINSKI

Three priests and a teacher in the Granada area were arrested on Monday as part of ongoing investigations into alleged child sexual abuse. The case came to light after the alleged victim, now 24, wrote to Pope Francis outlining the abuse he had supposedly suffered several years earlier. The pontiff rang the victim on several occasions offering support and asking for forgiveness on behalf of the Catholic Church, as well as reporting the allegations to Spanish authorities.

Meanwhile, a second former altar boy has filed a formal complaint against the alleged sex ring. The man, who helped officiate Mass when he was aged between seven and 14, was mentioned in the letter sent to Pope Francis by the other abuse victim. This second testimony is considered key in terms of bolstering the case against the alleged abusers given the lack of other evidence.

A total of ten priests and two laypeople are now being investigated by a Granada­based judge over their possible involvement in the paedophile ring.

Among those arrested on Monday was the alleged leader of the group which is known as Los Romanones, who own around 20 properties in the Granada area, where the abuse is said to have happened. The arrested four suspects were taken to court on Wednesday (pictured) for an arraignment hearing which resulted in them being released on bail, with one of them having to pay a bond of 10 thousand euros. They all pled not guilty to a variety of sexual crime charges and were warned not to make any contact with their two accusers.

Speaking to the European Parliament in Strasbourg on Tuesday, Pope Francis said: “How am I coping with this? With great pain, enormous pain. But the truth is the truth, and we mustn't hide it." The Pope also said he had set an internal investigation into the allegations in motion to deliver on his promise of zero tolerance for sexual abuse within the Church.

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Friday 28th November 2014

TELEPHONE

966 921 003 679 096 309

ANA QUITS Spain's Health Minister Ana Mato resigned from the cabinet on Wednesday after a judge accused her of benefiting from illegal payments. Her ex­hus­ band, Jesus Sepulveda, was found to be linked to a huge cor­ ruption case involving the ruling Partido Popular. A court issued a formal ruling which signalled that Ms Mato had no knowledge of any possible crime.

The scheme has caused a big scandal for Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, who apologised after party members were arrested by police. Ms Mato has not been named as an official suspect in the case, but will have to sit in during court hear­ ings.

Ms Mato said she had not her­ self been linked with any crime but that she was standing down for the good of the government.

Judges have been investigating

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1630 EDITOR Alex Trelinski LAYOUT & DESIGN James Bone ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491

the so­called Gurtel network, a huge scheme involving illegal party donations or kickbacks from businesses seeking con­ tracts. It is the largest pre­trial investigation in the history of Spain's criminal court, and involves many Partido Popular officials and public figures.

Speaking in parliament yes­ terday morning, Mariano Rajoy denied that corruption was gen­ eralized in the country, but admitted that the number of recent cases "discredited Spain".

"Spain is not corrupt; it has some corrupt people [in cases] which are coming to light," Rajoy said.

PSOE opposition leader Pedro Sanchez told Mr Rajoy he was in no position to fight against corruption, saying: "You are not able or legitimate to lead."

FIRST NIGHT TRAGEDY

Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

A Torrevieja man who was working his first ever shift as a doorman at a Murcia nightclub was shot dead last Friday night along with a local businessman. The drama unfolded at the Blue Diamond Club on the San Ginés de Alcantarilla industrial estate and happened at around 10.30 pm when several men who appeared to be drunk start­ ed rowing with other people and were told by the 25 year old door­ man, Jesus Carlos Montiel Peñalver, to leave. A number of close range shots were fired, five of which are said to have hit him, killing him outright, with 54 year old businessman Pedro Ruiz Saura also being fatally shot.

Four men, including the shooter, escaped in a white Mercedes car which was recorded on a security camera, and they were arrested on

Saturday morning at an address in Alcantarilla. The apprehended men were said to be a member of a criminal gang known as Los Pijetes known to have a record in drug dealing, assaults, and rob­ beries. Two were subsequently released by the National Police. It’s said that the club owner had made contact with the police minutes earlier to report that his waitresses had been harassed by a group of people of Roma ethnicity.

The court remanded two men on Tuesday who are distant cousins:­ Mariano 'Chino', who is accused of double murder and the illegal possession of weapons and Federico 'The Federo', who is accused of being an accessory to murder as well as being a drug dealer.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, per­ haps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents

WEATHER FORECAST Monday Partly Cloudy High 22° Low 10° Chance of rain 10%

– or happier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Partly Cloudy High 18° Low 13° Chance of rain 50%

Tuesday Partly Cloudy High 20° Low 6° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Partly Cloudy High 18° Low 12° Chance of rain 80% Wednesday Partly Cloudy High 16° Low 6° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Partly Cloudy High 17° Low 10° Chance of rain 70% Thursday Partly Cloudy High 16° Low 5° Chance of rain 0%

Friday 28th November 2014

CORVERA SET BACK…AGAIN

The long running saga over the non­opening of Murcia’s Corvera Airport took another bizarre twist earlier this week with the shock resignation of the project’s biggest cheer­ leader, Public Works minister, Manuel Campos. The now ex­minister(pictured) had regularly proclaimed a set of changing opening dates for the facility, all of which had failed to materialise, with the latest claim being that the airport would open at the start of April. Campos quit his post on Monday after locking horns with the Murcia President, Alberto Garre, over the future of the project, with Garre preferring to put the Corvera management contract out to tender, whilst Campos wanted to support Aeromur to keep the franchise, despite a long history of legal and financial disagreements, but with a premium on opening the airport as soon as possible, which now seems extremely unlikely.

HOT DOGS EAT MAN

Two pit bull terriers ate the body of their 65­year­old German owner after he died of natural causes inside his mobile home on Majorca, before dying themselves. The man's body and those of his dogs were discovered on Monday in a parked caravan near a sewage treatment plant in Ses Salines on the island. An autopsy revealed that the man had been dead for sev­ eral weeks, and it is believed that the dogs may have eaten the man's body due to hunger, or to drink "bodily fluids" to quench their thirst. The remains of the bodies were discovered by a friend of the dead man who rang the Guardia Civil.

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RAJOY STANDS FIRM

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has dismissed as a "step to nowhere" a proposal for early elections in the restive region of Catalonia, where a non­binding vote on independence was held this month. The president of the north­eastern region, Artur Mas, said an early poll was the only way for pro­independence parties to push for secession. He could face prosecution for helping to organise the 9 November vote with Rajoy due to travel to Catalonia today (Friday).

Rayoy’s trip to Barcelona is seen as an attempt to win over public opinion after the ruling Partido Popular and the Socialist opposition both sharply opposed this month's so­called "consultation", which the government sought to block through the courts. Accusing the Catalan president of abandoning the majority of his region's electorate, Mr Rajoy told reporters at the parliament in Madrid that people's rights and freedoms were being attacked and he vowed to defend Spain's sovereignty and constitution. Spanish prosecutors want to have Mr Mas and two of his allies charged with disobedience, perverting the course of justice and misusing of public funds.

BODY FESTIVE FOUND HABANERAS

WRONG WAY DARLING

A 69 year old woman caused chaos when he she drove for more than eight kilometres on the wrong side of the A30 dual carriageway around Cartagena on Wednesday night.

Fortunately only two minor accidents happened as the car went against the flow of traffic, with a Guardia Civil patrol able to stop her within five minutes of the authorities getting a stream of complaints from frightened motorists.

The body of a 48 year old British man was discovered last Thursday (November 20th) on La Almadraba beach in Alicante. Authorities were alerted at around 4.00 pm about a corpse that was lying in the sand, alongside alcohol and drugs bottles. No further information has been made available about the identity of the man.

Torrevieja’s Habaneras shopping centre gets into the Christmas swing of things with the switching on today(Friday) of their Xmas Tree lights in the Central Plaza with free pop­ corn for shoppers while stocks last. Some 30 different activi­ ties are scheduled through till January 4th with a variety of shows and workshops for the whole family.

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Friday 28th November 2014

GRAN ALACANT EIGHT YEARS BOOST STRONG

Gran Alacant has a new Thursday street market which has been launched on Calle Escandinavia. The market is based across an area of 12 thousand square metres, and will be open every week between 9.00am and 2.00pm.

PASEO LIFT

Torrevieja’s seashore is to get a new look after official approval from the Alicante Provincial Council to fund almost half of the costs for the project which will see improvements in the stretch between Punta Margalla and the Avenida de las Habaneras. Improved access with resurfacing, new light­ ing, and playgrounds are on the list for the one million euro plus works, which will be co­funded by Torrevieja Council.

MORE WHEELS

New car registrations have increased significantly year­on­ year up until mid­November, with a grand total of 24,444 vehicles straight off the production line sold on forecourts around Spain. Industry bodies say brand­new car sales increased by 11.9% in the first half of this month when com­ pared with the same period in 2013, although this is consid­ erably less than in October, when the first two weeks of the month saw a year­on­year rise of 20.3%. This is because the sixth ‘scrap­for­cash’ scheme, known as the Plan PIVE, came to an end just before the start of November, meaning drivers would not benefit so much from trading in their older cars for a new one and tended to decide not to bother.

Torrevieja Hospital has celebrated its eighth anniversary since opening in November 2006, with 10,500 babies being born there in addition to over half a million emergency cases and just under two million appointments. Dr. Jose Antonio Medina Velasco of Torrevieja’s Health Department praised the work of the people who work at the hospital and the qual­ ity of service that has resulted in many awards for the facility.

CHOCOLATE HIGH

A cake had an added kick to it when the chocolate goodie resulted in eight people taken to hospital in Oviedo in Northern Spain. The birthday cake had being baked using marijuana butter by the mother of one of the guests for the celebrations of two brothers at a local bar. Guests reportedly began to feel "unwell" and had to go to the emergency ward of nearby Asturias Central Hospital.

Medical staff worked out what had happened and contact­ ed police. The stoned partygoers were picked up from hospi­ tal by their parents, who had been telephoned by other guests. The guest who had brought the cake to the party was also affected by its ingredients and was described as being "in no fit state to be interrogated". His mother was contacted by police and asked to make a statement at a local station, where she admitted baking the 'space cake'.

Health officials said that the party guests were all aged over 18 and that none of them suffered any permanent dam­ age. The bar where the party was held has been closed pending court proceedings.

CLEVER DOGGY

A Moroccan coach passenger got sniffed out en route from Algeciras to Barcelona when a dog detected a stash of hashish. The 37 year old traveller got a double shock late on Tuesday night at Alicante bus station when a sniffer dog sussed out that he was carrying a plastic bag of hashish in his pocket. The crafty canine then hit the jackpot by sniffing out that the man’s suitcase was crammed with eight kilos of the drug. Officials say that the Local Police Dog Unit usually strikes lucky with a drugs bust at the station at least once a month.

FRANCO REMEMBERED

Around 300 far­right activists gathered in Madrid last Sunday to commemorate the anniversary of the death of General Franco, some 39 years after the fascist dictator’s passing. During the rally in Orient square, officials from the different right wing parties gave speeches about the current situation in the country, targeting the rise of left of centre Podemos party as a cause for concern. Swastikas and other fascist symbols were on display, including one attendee wav­ ing the flag of the Italian Social Republic commemorating the dictator, Benito Mussolini.

OFF THE RAILS YOUR FRIENDLY UNCHARITABLE THIEVES LOCAL

Spanish trains will be badly affected by a strike in protest against privatisation scheduled for next weekend. Organised by the CGT union, the strike will start on Friday December 5th and run for 23 hours. Saturday December 6th and Monday December 8th are bank holidays, the first being Constitution Day and the second, for the Immaculate Conception, meaning thousands of Spaniards are likely to go away for the weekend on Friday night – hence the decision to down tools at the start of the public holiday period to cause maximum disruption

SMOOTHER RIDE Cyclists are going to be in for a safer experience travelling between San Fulgencio and the N332 coast road as work starts in mid­December on building a new cycle way. The work is expected to take three months with the construction of the two metre wide route that will run parallel to the CV859.

A San Isidro bar owner has been arrested by the Guardia Civil for selling a lot more than just drinks at his establish­ ment. The authorities found a mixture of drugs available for sale either on or below the counter including cannabis, LSD, cocaine, and ecstasy tablets. The Guardia also seized a large machete, a crossbow, and knives, as the 54 year old Spaniard was hauled up before an Orihuela court judge.

Thieves have put a downer on a charity fund­raiser at a local bar, with a distraction burglary netting over 400 euros from a collection tin. Locals at Mono’s Bar in Quesada have been growing beards for charity but their efforts have been undermined when a North African woman came in asking for change for a large denomination note, and whilst a member of the bar staff was distracted, a child swiped the tin of money. Over a year ago, The Courier reported on a stream of such robberies around the Torrevieja area, with Poppy col­ lections being the target at local bars and restaurants.

Meanwhile, thieves broke into the Paul Cunningham Charity Shop (pictured) in Playa Flamenca and stole just 30 euros, with no other items being taken. Police are investigating with the repairs to the front door costing well in excess of the money that was stolen.

Friday 28th November 2014

BACK ON TRACK

Budget hitches that have delayed the start of preparatory work on the site of Torrevieja’s new weekly market have been solved, which means that resurfacing work on the 90 thousand square metre site at Avenida Delfina Viudes, has restarted.

New lighting is also being installed with work scheduled to be completed by the early spring of 2015

KNEE TREMBLER

FUSED OFF

An electrician working in the San Miguel area suffered burns after an explosion on Monday evening. Emergency services were called in after the incident around 6.00pm at the El Limonar school in the Blue Lagoon urbanisation. The man was working in a An earthquake of a 1.9 magnitude rumbled junction box and flames were put out by fire off the Torrevieja coast last Saturday after­ extinguishers before external help arrived, noon. The short quake was around five kilo­ with the electrician taken for treatment to Torrevieja Hospital. metres deep and was timed at 2.26 pm.

SALTY LADY

A 24 year old physiotherapy degree holder was crowned Torrevieja’s new Salt Queen last Saturday night. Ainara Antelo will hold the title for the next year, having got the nod from the judges at the Muncipal Theatre, with Ainara getting her regalia from Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolon.

SENT DOWN ON THE LINE

A Madrid judge has put a Moroccan kebab house owner into unconditional custody after being accused of being a terrorist will­ ing to fight for the Islamic State group. The 42 year old married father of one, named as Nabil B, was arrested in San Pedro del Pinatar last week and faced National Court judge, Javier Gómez Bermúdez last Friday (November 21st), who sent him to Soto Del Real prison in Madrid, pending further pro­ ceedings.

Spanish telecom company, Telefonica/Movistar may be selling back the mobile phone division O2 to BT. BT said that it had been approached by shareholders from two operators — O2 and an unnamed group — with a view to buying their UK mobile business. Last week, Telefonica indi­ cated that it would consider all strategic choices for its British operations, including a possible sale of O2 which paid over 17 billion pounds for back in 2005.

LIFE IS LIFE

Thousands of anti­abortion protests converged on Madrid last weekend threatening to punish the government in local and national elections next year unless it revives a plan to restrict access to abortion. Waving white flags with the slogan "Every life counts", demonstra­ tors of all ages from across the country marched through the capital, whistling angrily as they passed the headquarters of the ruling Popular Party.

"Killers! Abortionists!" some yelled. "Yes to life, no to abortion!"

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy had promised before he was elected in 2011 to tighten Spain's abortion law, but he dropped the plan in September due to disagreements within his own party. The architect of the reform, Alberto Ruiz­Gallardón, resigned as Rajoy's justice minister in protest.

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Friday 28th November 2014

BARD AND BARRED

ANDROMEDA Arkwright, the refreshing new addi­ tion to our previously all­ male pub discussion group, gathered us guys around her bar stool for an important chat the other evening.

Pounding on the bar top for silence, she began: 'Without any preamble, I shall lay my cards on the table . . .'

'Oh, goody, goody, gum­ drops,' interrupted Daft Barry. 'I love a game of Snap. I usually play against myself but I always lose in the end.'

Dave the barman slipped a gobstopper into Daft Barry's mouth and Andromeda continued: 'I have decided that to build up the intelligence component of this group, I shall arrange a series of events which will expand our intellectual capacity. I pro­ pose to do this in a series of debates.

'I shall propose a motion, someone else will oppose it

and then the subject will be thrown open to the audience ­­ that's you lot ­­ for discus­ sion.'

Dave the barman raised his hand. 'Point of order, Andromeda. At which point will drinks be purchased dur­ ing these intellectual exchanges of views? As the owner of this joint I have to make a living, you know.'

'Fear not, mein host,' said Andromeda. 'I shall provide funds behind the bar for a round of liquid refreshments at suitable intervals.'

Fearful Phil raised his hand. 'Point of order. How suitable is suitable? I mean how often will these refresh­ ment breaks occur and do we really need to chat about clever stuff while we're wait­ ing for our drinks?'

Andromeda sighed.

'Fearful Phil, I genuinely believe there is more to your good self than merely per­ suading people to buy you booze. I intend to remove the grimy patina which sur­ rounds the surface your soul

in order to expose the gold­ en intellect that no doubt lies beneath your crusty exterior.'

Fearful Phil beamed.

'Wow, thanks for the compli­ ment, Andromeda. Let me get Dave Silver to buy you a sweet sherry.'

Andromeda Arkwright tapped the bar top and called the meeting back to order. 'The one thing we need to settle here is this: As a reasonably astute person, I shall be the one who pres­ ents the case 'for' or 'against' at our forthcoming debates.

'Now I need someone who

will present the case 'for' or 'against' the motions. Who would you suggest is the cleverest pubgoer amongst you?'

There was a silence as we mulled over Andromeda's question. Then Indoor Lou raised his hand: 'I guess that would be me.'

'No way!' declared Fearful Phil. 'I'm cleverer than you!'

'Even Daft Barry is clever­ er than YOU!' countered Indoor Lou. 'Leave me out of this,' pleaded Daft Barry. 'Even if I am the cleverest, nobody is

going to rub off my patina.'

'Order! Order!' called out Dave the Speaker, I mean Barman, of the House. 'Will somebody please purchase a round of drinks while we're discussing who's the clever­ est?'

Then we all looked down at the pub floor and focused on the sleeping form of our ex­guide and mentor Ol' Red Eyes.

'Now there was an intel­ lectual giant of a man before the cider took him,' I observed in an elegaic tone.

Ol' Red Eyes opened one rheumy peeper, surveyed the people gathered before him and announced: 'I'm still cleverer than any of you lot. I used to be an English teacher, you know. Now for your homework I want you boys to write an essay on the following Shakespeare topic: 'By considering the dra­ matic effects of the play, evaluate the view that Regan and Goneril do not destroy King Lear; they pro­

voke Lear to destroy himself.

Now, if you'll forgive me, I must resume my snooze.'

Then I had a thought. 'I know who would be a fan­ tastic debater ­­ Fag Ash Bill.

He is very intelligent and the only problem I foresee is persuading him to extinguish his ciggy and enter the pub which he loves but from which he is barred unless, of course, we hold our intellec­ tual debates on the pave­ ment outside.'

'Go fetch him in,' said Andromeda Arkwright.

'Er, not me,' I said. 'Fag Ash Bill isn't very happy with me these days. Back in August I told him I was tak­ ing Mrs S off for 10 days in the sun. Bill asked me to buy him some duty­free cig­ arettes. When I got back and gave Bill the bill he went ballistic and said he could have bought the fags for far less.

'Perhaps I should have told him beforehand that me and Mrs S were going on holiday to Blackpool.'

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Friday 28th November 2014

NEW DRUG The highly­awaited new Hepatitis C drug will be available via Spain’s national health system shortly, but only for certain patients. The drug Sovaldi will be administered to sufferers await­ ing a liver transplant or who have undergone one; those with liver cirrho­ sis; and those who have found more traditional treatment to have been inef­ fective. Those with minor fibrosis – which accounts for the majority of Hepatitis C sufferers – will not be given the new drug. Spain’s health ministry spent some months negotiat­ ing the price of Sovaldi, since the man­ ufacturer wanted to charge a high price which would have meant huge restrictions on how many people could take it.

ON YOUR BIKE

Barcelona could introduce fines for drivers who harass cyclists by honking horns at them, driving too close or using other forms of intimidating behaviour. The proposed changes to Barcelona’s traffic laws are aimed at getting cyclists off the city's pavements and onto its roads. As part of long­term plans to make it safer for cyclists to share the streets with motor vehicles, Barcelona's town hall recently passed an initial draft of new regulations which, if implemented, would see car drivers hit with fines for a wide range of offences. Honking horns at cyclists, driving too close, harassing them and other as­yet­unspecified forms of 'disre­ spectful' driving will be punished, though the nature of the penalties have yet to be disclosed.

MORTGAGE BOOST

The number of new mortgages signed in September this year reached 19,323, a 29% increase on the same month in 2013. The September figures from the National Institute of Statistics confirm a tendency that began in June 2014, with two­figure year­on­year increas­ es being posted every month for the past four months.

In month­on­month terms (September compared to August) home loans increased by 28.5%, the biggest jump for this time of year in the last five years. The total amount of capital assigned to new home loans also saw a sharp increase of 35.3%, its biggest rise since September 2010.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN BURGLED Statistics in Spain Crime rates in Spain remain among the lowest in the EU according to the latest Interior Ministry crime report. However, since the economic crisis began in 2008, there has been a steep increase in domestic burglaries and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of bur­ glaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The message to expat residents is not to panic. There are some simple precautions to take, as you would back in the UK, such as fitting security grills, installing exterior lights and alarms, being careful about what content is posted on social networks, especially anything to do with trips and holidays away from home. It also helps to take out a quality home insurance policy that will cover your home and its con­ tents should any unfortunate incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgled As soon as you discover you’ve been burgled, whether it’s a break­in or theft at your home, first call the police. Don’t touch anything until they arrive. A police report will be needed to process your claim.

Then secure your home to avoid further damage, board up any broken windows, make a list of damaged or missing belongings, detail the damage to your home resulting from the burglary, taking photographs of damaged windows or door.

At this point, you can call the claims department of your home insurance company. We advise you to have your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea Directa We understand that your peace­of­mind is important, especially in your home. Our claims department will take a full statement of the circumstances of the incident. We will check the insurance coverage with you explaining all the procedures. If emergency repairs are required from locksmiths to glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your claim and get things back to normal as soon as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in Spain are rel­ atively small compared to other EU countries, however should you be burgled, your home­ owner’s insurance policy will cover the loss or destruction of personal property if it’s stolen from your home.

Hold-up outside the home In many cases, your home insurance policy may cover you for any incidents that occur outside your home. Should you be the victim of a hold­up outside your premises your per­ sonal belongings are covered. We will ensure replacement documents are quickly and efficiently dealt with, and if required, arrange the locks on your home to be changed.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

SAD DEATH A brown bear cub that was part of an effort to reintroduce the species to the Pyrenees moun­ tains has been found dead on the Spanish side of the mountain range, local officials said on Monday. The body of the 10­month­old cub called Auberta was found on Friday inside a five thou­ sand square metre wildlife enclosure where it has lived since it was found disoriented and alone in April in the village of Aubert in north­eastern Spain.

The cub was going to be released into the wild in the Pyrenees where there are believed to be just roughly 30 brown bears in the region. The bear appears to have reopened a scar on its abdomen which it got when veterinarians earlier this month implanted a tag to allow them to mon­ itor the animal's movements, said Iván Afonso, who is responsible for the environment in the Aran valley country where the enclosure is found.

ADIOS? Six out of ten Spaniards aged 18 to 30 say they are considering leaving Spain for work, but very few have actually spent any significant amount of time overseas, the results of a new survey reveal. Fourteen percent of young Spaniards say they are definitely planning to move overseas in search of work opportunities, while 41 percent are "rather" in favour of the idea, the results from the Vodafone Institute for Society and Communications poll show.

By contrast, just 21 percent of Germans are eyeing a move abroad, according to the results of the survey of some 6,000 people aged 18 to 30 in Spain, Italy, the UK, Germany, The Netherlands, and The Czech Republic.

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Friday 28th November 2014

WHAT A DRAG

The Mar Menor may be unique in its warm, tranquil, salty waters and surrounding beaches, but scientists are warning that unless we stop messing with the fragile ecosystem it may turn into a stinking swamp in the not too distant future. The Mar Menor is used by fishermen, tourists, watersport lovers, with thousands of people living on the edge of the natural lake, exerting pressure on the delicate balance of the ecosystem. In order to keep the waters clear, mud is dragged out of the centre of the lake, but this unnatural movement may be counter­ productive, according to Angel Perez Rusafa, professor of ecology at Murcia University. He claims that the more mud that is extracted, the murkier the water will become. Perez Rufasa suggests that more wooden jetties are built, as in the past, so there will be less need for sandy beaches. The few wooden jetties that are left are mainly for private use, and the remaining public ones are usually well­used, as many bathers prefer to sit on wood rather than sand.

DRUNKEN KILL Three teenagers were buried on Sunday after a drunk driver knocked them over in addition to injuring two others. Flags in Funensalida the town near Toledo in central Spain were flown at half­mast and three days of public mourning were declared as 11 thousand residents struggled to come to terms with Saturday's events. The town's Santa Cecilia festival was cancelled and a team of psychologists, identified by orange bibs, were on hand to help mem­ bers of the small community manage their grief.

Michele (13), Nerea (15) and Ana Raquel (16) plus two other friends had been walking home after attending a party on Friday night in the nearby village of Torrijos. The teenagers told their parents via WhatsApp that they were staying with friends but they had in fact stayed out all night. At 7.25am they were walking home along the narrow, unlit road when a car com­ ing in the opposite direction crossed lanes to avoid another car which had broken down. The car entered the verge of the oncoming lane and hit the group of youngsters, instantly killing three of them.

IT’S A WRAP

Staff at Madrid's Barajas airport are threatening to go on strike after allegedly being vio­ lently intimidated by a roving gang of 50 people of eastern European origin who offer an unauthorised luggage shrink­wrap service to travellers. Workers for Safebag, the official lug­ gage­wrapping company at the airport, have filed a legal complaint according to the El Confidencial newspaper.

Workers have called on airport operator Aena to put an end to the actions of the plastic­ wrap pirates and have threatened to go on strike if action is not taken. In the court docu­ ments, they allege that the illegal luggage wrappers are mainly Romanians and Bulgarians, and name the supposed leader of the operation. Safebag workers say that gang members have threatened them and put them in violent situations.

SHOP NIGHT

Catral council is looking to boost local small business by staging the area’s first Shopping Night in the Plaza de la Casa de Cultura from 5.00pm tomorrow evening (Saturday). 18 shops and two associations will be involved with various demonstrations and workshops, as well as live entertainment.

BRAIN DRAIN BAD

Spain can't afford the luxury of training young researchers who then head overseas with no return in sight, King Felipe said on Tuesday as he called on the government to prevent the country suffering a "lost generation" of scientists.

King Felipe told an audience at the 75th anniversary event of Spain's National Research Council (CSIC) that the country could not afford a "lost generation" of scientists. Such a loss would be "difficult to overcome and incompatible with the needs of a modern state", the monarch said. His words contrasted with those of Education Minister, José Ignacio Wert, who argued last year during a visit to Germany that Spain's brain drain was "not always a bad thing", and in fact could be "one of the best things" to happen in a scientist's career.

TOUGH TIMES

Just over a third of all Spanish employees earned the country's minimum wage of just over nine thousand euros per annum according to official figures, which showed that almost all work­ ers aged under 25 had to make do with that sum.

The mean average salary in Spain in 2013, according to the tax office, was €18,505 a year or €1,342 a month, one point four percent lower than a year earlier. The Spanish minimum wage is almost the same as the Greek figure of €683.76 and below that of Italy (€880) and France (€1,430 before tax).

VICTIM’S REVENGE

A set of drawings by a nine­year­ old girl who was kidnapped earlier this year, has helped to catch an infamous child sex attacker in the Ciudad Lineal area of Spain.

Antonio Ortiz struck several times in the Madrid neighbourhood, a close­ knit and peaceful community, always with the same modus operandi. Girls aged between five and nine of various nationalities, including Spanish, Chinese, Japanese and Dominican were snatched, drugged, abused, bathed to wash away the evidence, and then released some distance from where they were picked up, a few hours later.

The girl drew several pictures at the request of investigators and, in the first of these, she sketched a car park opposite a doorway into a building drawn in a horseshoe shape, since the block in ques­ tion was flanked by two others creating an open courtyard. In a second sketch, she drew the entrance to a block with a corridor, accessed by crossing over the threshold, with a doorway to the right and mail boxes to the left, and a lift at the end of the passage. The little girl told police ‘you go in through the lounge’ and that ‘everything was new, but sort of like empty’ with a sliding door in the hallway which opened onto the bedroom.

These descriptions were enough for police to be able to trace the site of the crimes to the Santa Virgilia block of flats in the Hortaleza neighbourhood of the city and, once there, found the exact apartment based upon the child’s drawings. In it, they discovered incriminating evi­ dence including at least 20 fingerprints and strands of hair. They had already searched Ortiz’s house in Santander, where he was found and arrested, and the apartment where he lived with his mother. In the latter, they found a pair of white knickers with a floral pattern which were the right size for a child of the age of his victims, as well as a beige blanket with pink edges which was described by one of the girls, and kitchen roll which they took to see whether it matched the shreds of tissue found on one of the victims after she was attacked.

Friday 28th November 2014

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10

Friday 28th November 2014

LOCAL LOOK-IN

FUN AND FROLICS

The Smile Charity Group is getting ready to go on the road with their slightly adult Christmas show, Panto Frolics, which follows on from the success of last year’s Pantoloons!

Four charities will benefit from the five performances, namely the Benijófar Crisis Appeal; the Elche Children’s Home, the Alzheimer’s Association & Torreveija Stroke Support.

The dates and venues are:­ Tuesday December 16th – Casa Ventura, San Luis, Torrevieja.

Thursday December 18th – ‘Restaurante El Alto La Dolores’, Guardamar.

Tuesday January 6th – Marjal Campsite, Guardamar.

Wednesday January 7th – Marjal Campsite, Catral.

Friday January 9th – ‘Restaurante El Alto La Dolores’, Guardamar.

Tickets are priced at ten euros for both the show and a two course meal, and are on sale at the venues and The Post Room, Benijófar, or by calling 966 712 382.

HEARTY GIFT GILL TO GERRY

A local community with a real heart has donated 500 euros to the Alicia Garcia appeal to save her and her nine­year­old son from eviction. The social club of the La Concha urbanisation in Las Mimosas, Playa Flamenca has been busy for years raising money for a variety of charities, and also raising funds to improve the amenities of their own community. Over the years they have raised a five­figure sum. When they heard of the appeal to help Alicia, the club decided immediately to help with a donation.

Fund raiser Maxine Gibson said: "Our fund raising activities have been going on for several years and we have been putting on events all the time, such as coach trips, mini­ bus outings, book sales and table top sales, although it has waned this year. The events brought people together and drew in people from other communities too, which did not hold such things. They provided cash so we can do things like helping needy people with food parcels, and of course the ability to make donations, and we have done this a number of times now". In the picture is Eileen Mayes, president of the charity Help at Home Costa Blanca, receiving the money from Maxine Gibson, together with social club members Irene mason, Kerry Gray and Jill Pickering .

The appeal to help Alicia has been launched by HAH Costa Blanca and is backed by The Courier. Alicia had a fire at

her home which spread to neighbouring properties. Because she was uninsured, she faces a 4378 euro bill from insurers, who issued a court summons for her to appear on December 15th. However, following the charity’s intervention, the insurance compa­ ny has agreed to suspend the court action until at least the end of February, with more than one thousand euros being raised so far.

Last week, at the HAH weekly market at The Celtic Isle in Playa Flamenca, traders staged an impromptu fashion show and there was entertainment and a raffle for shoppers, with 174 euros being raised. The next fund­raising event is this Sunday (November 29th) with a Christmas dinner dance at The Asturias Restaurant Punta Prima. There´s a three­course meal with wine, water and jugs of beer for only €15 a head. Entertainment by Stefanie, the "Girl with the Golden Voice", and others. There will be a selection of paintings and wood carvings by Chris Hammond Ford displayed for sale and auction, with 10% of the pro­ ceeds donated to the Alicia and Angel Save our Home appeal. Tickets are still on sale at the Charity Centre, The Celtic Isle and at The Asturias Restaurant itself. *Just as The Courier went to press we learned that a Torrevieja charity has donated 700 euros to the appeal. If you would like to donate, please call Help at Home on 603 267 140.

FAIR ENOUGH

The Samaritans In Spain get into seasonal mode with their Christmas Fair on Saturday December 6th at the Punta Marina Commercial Centre, Punta Prima from 10.30am through till 2.00pm. Father Christmas will of course be mak­ ing an appearance and there’ll be a wide variety of stalls including cakes and homemade products.

The Torrevieja branch of the Royal British Legion has a new chairman, with Gerry Lynch taking over the key position at their AGM, after Gill Burden having seven years in charge. Gill stepped into the chair when the branch had only around a dozen members attending monthly meetings, and now that’s grown to an average of 60. Nigel Hails, Chairman of District North Spain as a Guest Speaker, paid respects and thanks to Gill and the Branch for the hard work they had sustained over the last years through thick & thin. Pictured are Douglas Sidwell MBE, Branch President looking on as Gill presents her Chairman’s Jewel to Gerry Lynch.

Friday 28th November 2014

11

LOCAL LOOK-IN

ROLL UP! ROLL UP!

Ringmasters, clowns, and acrobats are getting lined for up The Rascals who are gearing up for the festive season, with the first half of their Xmas show, featuring a trip to the circus!

Numbers from Barnum will feature alongside comedy items and dances in this colourful show.

A free seasonal drink and nibbles will be provided during the interval after which you can sit back and enjoy the second half with a selection of Christmas favourites from popular stan­ dards through to traditional carols, as well hearing the Nuns chorus; The Pink Panther; and ballerinas doing Swine Lake (not quite up to Moscow ballet standard!).

The two performances will be on Thursday December 4th at the Los Montesinos School of Culture and Music, and then at Torrevieja’s Virgen del Carmen theatre on Sunday December 14th. Both performances will start at 7.00pm.

To reserve tickets, priced at five euros, phone Sue on 966 784 874, and all ticket sale monies will go to local charities. To find out more about The Rascals look on www.theras­ cals.org

BUMPER GIFT

One thousand euros was raised on two successive nights to buy food vouchers for the needy of Los Montesinos in time for Christmas, all courtesy of Suzi4fitz and friends putting on an Evening of Entertainment at the town’s music school theatre. The girls of the Suzi4fitz fitness and dance group headed up the show which also featured three numbers from the Matrix Group Rock Choir ROAR, and the whole occasion was professionally compered by local magician, Graeme Mykal.

HELP HELPED!

MASSIVE CHARITY BOOST Help at Home Mar Menor had a successful Christmas Fayre at the DFS store in San Javier last weekend, which raised 322 euros for the charity. Homemade crafts, gifts, cakes, clothes, and cards were just some of the items that were sold to make up the final total and there was an appearance from Father Christmas and his little helper, Ollie, who gave out sweets to everybody. The next HAH Mar Menor fayre will be at the Bacchus Restaurant, Urb. Oasis, Los Narejos on Sunday December 7th from noon, which will also feature a special perform­ ance at 2.00pm from the Spangles Ladies Harmony Chorus to get everybody into the Christmas spirit.

Over 18 thousand euros have been raised in another out­ standing year for the local fundraisers “Charity 4 Charities”, and they had a great time handing out money to their nomi­ nated groups at their annual presentation night at the Bull Flanagan bar and restaurant in Quesada.

After everybody enjoyed the food and drink of the black­tie occasion, the main business of the evening started with pres­ entation of cheques to representatives from Caritas; Age Concern; SAT Animal Rescue; the Alzheimer’s Association; the Elche Children’s Home; Isaac House in Gandia; the DEBRA Butterfly Children; and the Torrevieja Stroke Association, amongst others. Each of the groups got one thousand euros each, and apart from the above, “Charity 4 Charities” have also given monthly donations to the needy of the Rojales area which has amounted to four thousand euros so far this year.

If you wish to give support in any way to the group, they have a weekly auction and stall every Tuesday at the Bull Flanagan, where they look for unwanted items to sell. For more details, call 966 712 803.

XMAS SPIRIT

A bumper bundle of 1,750 euros was raised at last weekend’s Christmas Fayre at La Siesta Church in Torrevieja, which was organised by the Ladies Friendship Group on a day which was full of seasonal spirit! Stallholders got into the mood dressing up as elves, fairies and angels, and there was a small group of brass musicians to add to the Xmas flavour as they played a selection of traditional carols.

The Ladies Group support the Torrevieja homeless charity, Reach Out on a weekly basis by helping to prepare a lunch for people in need, and that group will benefit from the proceeds along with other charities. All ladies are welcome at the club which meets on the first Monday of every month at 3.00pm.

Phone 966 720 414 for more details, and you will be made wel­ come and even car lifts from the La Siesta area can be arranged.

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Friday 28th November 2014

HELP IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED

Animal rescue is a non stop job and every day we are needed somewhere.

Last night while visiting one of our cats in the vet, we noticed a little kitten in the street, dragging one of her legs along. We man­ aged to catch the tiny kit­ ten and we thought that the leg was broken, but after being with our vet overnight, it turns out that she has been hit by a car, but the leg, which is not broken, has lost all feeling and will need to be ampu­ tated. We have arranged for this to be done and we are hoping she makes a full recovery. Last week a dog was thrown over the defence to our land! There is always something hap­ pening and it is non stop work but the rewards are always amazing, when you see these beautiful animals blossoming like they should be.

We are always in urgent

need of dog and cat food, blankets, toys, bowls, ani­ mal crates, beds etc…… and we would appreciate anyone who can donate such items to our charity at Calle Sagasta 25, Pinoso, 03650, Alicante.

Also if you have any items that we can sell or auc­ tion, that you no longer need, these would be a massive help, as we can sell these items locally for our charity or online.

Everything helps, as we have to look at many dif­ ferent ways to fund the now enormous work we are doing on a daily basis.

It could be books, clothes, furniture, memo­ rabilia, anything and everything will assist us in funding our work. We can also collect items if need­ ed, as we want to make it as easy for you as possi­ ble.

Flea treatment is always something we

need and even if you can send us one treatment for a dog or a cat, that would be a huge help.

We also have collection tins, if anyone would like to have one to assist us.

The dog who was thrown over the fence to our land is pictured here and we have called him Junior.

He loves people, other dogs and even cats! He has been neutered and has had all of his vaccina­ tions. If anyone would like to offer Junior a forever loving home, please con­ tact me.

We always have kittens and cats that are looking for new homes, so please remember us, when you feel the time is right for a new pet. Please try and help us in any way you can, no matter how small.

Your help is always grate­ fully appreciated and we simply need the support of the public to carry on

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

CHIP Chip is one of four gor­ geous puppies that were due to be put to sleep but are safe in foster care. They are now about 12 weeks old, and they will not be very big.

To find out more about Chip or one of his siblings, please call P.E.P.A.on 650 304 746 or e­mail­: p.e.p.a.ani­ malcharity@gmail.com

move due to ill health and being unable to take her with them. Ginnie has been in a home environment from a three month old puppy and is a small mixed breed, around nine kilos, and a quiet and happy girl who enjoys going for a walk and of course, lots of cuddles.

For more details, phone 966 710 047 or e­mail info@satanimalrescue.com

home. He was born in 2011, is vaccinated and is a really well behaved boy. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

SASHA Sasha is a beautiful Siberian Husky/German Shepherd cross. Her age is about three years, and she loves to play and retrieve a stick or a ball and her best friend is Keisha the cat!

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

MOJITO

GINNIE Ginnie was returned to the kennels after 7 ½ years, due to their owners having to

Mojito is a year old small Podenco. He is house trained and very loving. He is castrated, and is healthy.

If you could offer him a home please contact us at Last Hope Dog Rescue, by e­mailing lasthopedogres­ cue@outlook.com or phone 634 065 540.

THOR Thor is a big beautiful boxer in need of a new

CURLY 12 week old Curly was rescued from a tile factory along with his siblings and is now ready for a new home.

He will be medium sized when fully grown and is believed to be a pointer cross. For more about Curly or one of equally adorable other pups, please phone P.E.P.A. on 650 304 746 or e­mail p.e.p.a.animalchari­ ty@gmail.com

what we do. Nurturing an animal back to health, looking at the eyes when they start to sparkle or the tail when it begins to wag, is always a heartfelt moment for us and you the public make this hap­ pen, so thank you from the bottom of our hearts. www.thedogyouneed.co m is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused ani­ mals. Our charity registra­ tion number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.co m or to our Nat West char­ ity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift.

Thank you.

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Friday 28th November 2014

ED’S ON THE BLOCK

I have to say that I feel a bit sorry for Ed Miliband, because everything he seems to do these days, turns into some kind of PR disaster, with even the TV cutie turned self­appointed economics expert, Myleene Klass giving him a kicking.

He’s now getting polling numbers that are below those of when Michael Foot was in charge, and he’s even making Gordon Brown look good. I note with inter­ est that Gordon’s calling it quits as an MP at the next election, and it could be that Ed may have to cast his net further around as well come next May. The figures at the moment show there’s no chance of him getting an overall majority as the Tory polling figures continue to rise, whilst every photo opportunity just shows him to be uncomfortable and accident prone with expres­ sions akin to him having soiled his pants. He just doesn’t’ seem to connect and that for me is crucial for a party leader and Prime

Minister in waiting, irre­ spective of what colour of politics that he or she represents. A recent survey of voters had four out of ten describing him as “weird”.

What is also worrying for Miliband is that there are some signs that the Tory faithful are just beginning to move away from playing around with UKIP. That might seem a strange thing to say just a week after Tory­defector Mark Reckless took the Rochester by­election, but he only did it by three thou­ sand votes and the Labour vote folded like a pack of

cards. Add the fact that despite all this talk of “posh boys” running the Tories, Labour also looks pretty much out of touch with their grassroots and most of them went to Oxford or

Cambridge as well! Labour voters feel they are taken for granted and stupid com­ ments from an unknown (and sacked) shadow minis­ ter about the quality of peo­ ple who put out English

flags out­ side their homes, cer­ tainly rein­ forced that image.

It seems like ages ago that Miliband played a blinder over pledging to keep energy bills down when he comes to power, but that has been long forgotten as his bad luck has seen prices come down natu­ rally any­ way!

His shadow cabinet is hardly dynamic and he also has the legacy of knowing that the majority of Labour MPs did not vote for him in the 2010 leadership contest, and that they wanted either

his brother David or Ed Balls instead. There’s also the sense that the establish­ ment are after ridiculing him with awkwardly posed pho­ tos popping up everywhere, as his policy statements get lost in a sea of laughter as his expressions remind you of long­forgotten gurning competitions. The irony is that he has some very inter­ esting and radical proposals across a wide agenda, mak­ ing him the most left­wing Labour leader in years.

Nobody though really wants to listen, and I suspect that is the legacy of people not being eager to forget the mess that Labour left the UK in back in 2010. It could be worse though as there is no British left of centre equivalent of Spain’s new Podemos party, and for that Mr.Miliband has plenty to be grateful for. Despite all his problems, he’s not out of the game, especially if the UKIP support doesn’t fold, keep­ ing the Tories at bay, and letting him into Downing Street.

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Friday 28th November 2014

WHY I’M AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING

Last week I told you about how I became a veg­ etarian and how it was a life choice for me, which has seen me fine for the best part of the last thirty years!

As promised, I’m going to cover the subject of animal testing this week. The argu­ ment I hear whenever the subject is brought up is that we, as humans, are more important than animals and they are helping us to sur­ vive longer and that without animal testing there would be more diseases without cures and, although the idea of testing on animals is unsavoury to most people, they see it as necessary.

However have you ever stopped to really think about what goes into testing on an animal? Most people I speak to now, recognise there is no need for cosmetic testing on animals. In fact such testing is more or less a repetitive action, with the same ideas tested over and over again only to justify the existence of so­called scientists, and this is

why cosmetic testing has been banned in the EU since 2009. Then we come to the argument around medicinal testing. People ask me whether I would prefer to see my family die rather than live from medicine tested on ani­ mals. This to me is an empty question because I would of course give my child anything he needs to make him better if he´s ill but it doesn´t mean that I am in favour of animal testing:­ only in the case of there being no other choice.

Until animal testing becomes illegal, the scientists will take the easy option and carry on doing what they have always done, forcing monkeys into tiny cages with electrodes inserted into their heads and subjecting them to various painful and in many cases unnecessary tests until they have been used up and are then killed when they become surplus to requirements.

Maybe one day there will be a time when beagles are no longer forced to have puppies who are then separated from

their mother, never to see the light of day and are then once again killed after their short life, full of pain is deemed over.

But is there another option?

What can we do? Those of us who believe strongly that ani­ mals should be loved and cared for do have alternatives and those are organisations such as the Dr Hadwen Trust.

This is a trust that advocates testing without the use of ani­ mals. I contacted the trust asking for details about how they work and judge their suc­ cess and I received the follow­ ing reply: ´Our results are

quite hard to quantify as we fund fundamental biomedical research, and not something like drug development which is much easier to quantify. An accepted measure of our impact is the number of papers published by our fund­ ed researchers and then by how many times these have been cited. As you can imag­ ine, this is not a quick process as research can be ongoing for years. To give you an indi­ cation though, in the financial year 2013/14, our grant hold­ ers had 16 papers published (with five more to come).

Although it takes many years

before the full impact of research can be gauged when taking citation indices as a measure, early indica­ tions have shown that these papers have been cited 55 times since publication.´ The website should you wish to know more is www.drhadwentrust.org and on that site you can also make a donation or buy something from their extensive range which is sent direct to Spain for an incredibly reasonable postage price. I, myself bought a few items which were delivered promptly, so if you´re stuck for a Christmas present for the person who has everything, have a look and see what you can find. I especially like the pen with the light in but then I´ve always been a gadget person. By buying in this way you can give money to a charity that you know will help people without causing suffering to our animal friends.

I´ll finish with a few facts for you. Firstly we are not the same as a dog or rabbit or

even a monkey. We are differ­ ent which is why in the end there has to be human testing for all types of new drugs.

Blood donation was delayed for years because it was tried on animals and because it didn´t work, it was forgotten about until finally someone realised there were different blood groups. Animals are not less important than us, and they deserve to live in free­ dom the same way that your family pet does. In 2013, 4.12 million scientific procedures were carried out on animals in the UK. These procedures involved around 4.02 million animals.

Animal testing will continue for a long time but the more that organisations such as the Dr Hadwen Trust can contin­ ue their non­animal research, then maybe other companies will follow suit and maybe one day beagles will be born to loving homes and run free. So be sure to check out their website and maybe the dream will one day become a reality.

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Friday 28th November 2014

CALL TIME ON THE GREEDY BANKERS

YOU would have thought even the Tories, who will always look after the inter­ ests of big business, would have fought shy of trying to argue against capping the level of bankers' bonuses ­ after all, there´s a general election around the corner and UKIP is stripping them of votes. But not a bit of it.

When the EU proposed cap­ ping bonuses to 100% of bankers´pay or 200% with shareholder approval, the government lodged a legal challenge. It has now decid­ ed not to proceed any fur­ ther, realising that it was unlikely to succeed, and would have resulted in costs being awarded against Britain. Ask anyone in the high street what they think about bankers' bonuses and you would probably hear a string of abuse. Yet the Tories still haven´t got the message that high bankers' pay, especially when they´ve failed or been on the fiddle, is really angering vot­ ers big time. In their defence, they maintain that capping bonuses will drive the best talent out of Britain, to America or other financial centres. Tories say that banks will find other ways to reward top bankers. Have the Tories forgotten they could clip bankers' wings at a stroke? It´s called legisla­ tion and clipping bankers´wings is something Lib Dems and Labour would support, particularly so if they knew it was making Tory backbenchers sick in the stomach!

WELL, UKIP did it again last week, in a resounding victory in Rochester and Strood. The most interesting thing about the voting pat­

tern was that UKIP stripped voters away from both Conservatives and Labour in almost equal percent­ ages. It was also inter­ esting to see that the Lib Dem vote disappeared to almost zero. Experts thought that Lib Dem supporters melted away and either voted Labour or UKIP, while thou­ sands of Labour voters put their crosses for the UKIP candidate Mark Reckless. Whether his decision to quit the Tories and become the second UKIP MP will prove reckless we will see at the election next May. But the voting pat­ tern puts a lie to the often spouted Tory claim that a vote for UKIP will let Miliband into Number 10.

That simply will not happen if UKIP takes an equal if not greater number of votes from Labour than Tories.

Labour voters never wavered in their voting habits ­ but things are differ­ ent today. For one thing tra­ ditional trade unionists and die­hard Labour supporters are better informed today and less likely to fall for indoctrination. And they are far less likely to vote Labour when they see Labour can­ didates and particularly the Shadow cabinet composed of career politicians earning far more money and having far more wealth than they could ever dream of.

WE often hear reports from patients that standards in Spanish hospitals are bet­ ter than that generally found within the NHS in Britain.

But the one aspect which lets Spain down is aftercare.

Family units in Spain are

stronger and thus are better equipped to look after an elderly relative than in the UK where families can be

a care home and a third said they didn´t like the way they were greeted at the door at the home. Figures just

spread hundreds if not thou­ sands of miles apart, mak­ ing care for an elderly recu­ perating relative far more difficult. But now it seems the UK is lurching towards the Spanish experience.

Bournemouth and Christchurch Hospital Trust is to take legal action to evict elderly patients who are 'bed­blocking'. There´s a growing trend among younger people who are refusing to take responsibili­ ty for elderly relatives and simply abandon them in hospital wards, even when they are fit to leave. But now families will be told they have a week to find a rela­ tive a space in a care home or risk being taken to court.

The Trust says all manner of excuses have been given by relatives. One had the gall to ask for a relative to remain in hospital while they took a holiday in Turkey. Another complained that they didn´t like the colour of curtains in

released in the UK show that bed blocking is stopping 1,000 patient discharges every day, and it’s resulting in hospitals not being able to admit urgent new arrivals.

As members of a local char­ ity, we have seen some heart­breaking cases of people being discharged from hospitals here and with no­one to care for them.

Often it´s left to members of communities to rally around and help, but it’s far from ideal and hardly conducive for a speedy recovery. We ask these people often in their 70s and 80s where their families are, to be told that they don´t want to know them ­ they have their own lives to live. A sad indictment of modern selfishness.

ONE of the major stories in UK newspapers last week was that of the Broadway Hotel, in Blackpool, which was just like a scene from that old TV favourite Fawlty Towers. A couple stayed at

the hotel and found it so appalling they wrote a scathing review on the Trip Advisor website, only to be 'fined' £100 as a result.

In the small print was a no bad review policy and the hotel came in for so much stick that as a result they refunded the money. But the case has highlighted some of the problems that arise from these websites which invite public comments.

Some people, being the low­life they are, have used it to try to get dis­ counts for a good review, or to threaten a bad review if hotels don´t reduce prices, give an extra night or a free meal. Some people, for some weird satisfaction, have even posted reviews even though they have never stayed in the hotel.

For owners it has become a nightmare, and it´s little wonder that there are calls for some policing of such web sites, which can ruin a business. To my mind it is hardly worth bothering to read these reviews if you cannot believe most of what you are reading.

REMEMBER all those reports from politicians, Tories and Labour saying that crime in Britain is going down. Well, it´s all a load of tosh. Why? Because the police are massaging the figures. It´s just been revealed that more than 800,000, or one in five of all crimes reported to police each year are not being recorded, with the biggest problem concerning violent crime with a third going unrecorded.

An HM Inspectorate of

Constabulary report looked at more than 8,000 reports of crime in England and Wales and has said the fail­ ure to record crime properly was "indefensible". Home Secretary Theresa May described the findings as "utterly unacceptable. The Association of Chief Police Officers said workload pres­ sures, target culture and inadequate supervision all contributed to under­record­ ing. What a shower some police are ­ fabricating evi­ dence, destroying files, just plain lying, and now this. So, when you next hear a politi­ cian saying Britain´s streets are safer under the Conservatives or Labour, take it all with a pinch of salt.

If you imagine the number of crimes which the public don´t bother to report because it´s an absolute waste of time, and then those which the police can´t be bothered to record, the figures that are presented are meaningless, and sadly, the obvious conclusion is that UK is crime ridden. I wonder if it´s actually safer living in Spain?

LAST week I had a go at the small army of idiots who have nothing better to do in their lives than make trivial complaints about everything they see on TV. A few days ago there was a story about the first public bus taking the road that runs totally on gas, some derived from human waste. The newsreader mentioned that it ran on "poo". This was all too much for some narrow minded viewers who said such words shouldn´t be used prior to the watershed. What planet are these people liv­ ing on?

16

Friday 28th November 2014

Spanish 150

We are carrying on this week with useful verbs that have a translation in English but aren´t always used to mean the same thing. These verbs tend to be incredibly difficult to learn because the books don´t seem to have all the uses and unless you speak with Spanish peo­ ple you can´t hear and get to know them. This shows the importance of having Spanish friends, not only to practise speaking and lis­ tening but also to improve your vocabulary with those hard to know verbs and phrases.

This week the verb we are going to practise is tomar. The usual translation for this verb is ´to take´ but it means a lot more than that depending on the context of what is being said. Most of the time it does mean take but of course there are the verbs llevar and sacar, therefore we have to be careful which one we use.

Tomar is a regular ar verb and so I hope you are familiar with how it is conjugated by now and how it is used in the following situations: To take physical possession of: Tomó el libro y volvió a su casa. He took the book and returned home. Toma mi mano y camina conmigo ­Take my hand and walk with me. To choose: Había muchas. Tomé el azul.

There were many of them. I took the blue one. To eat or drink: Tomo té verde con el desayuno en mi programa de dieta. I drink green tea with my breakfast for my diet. To use a form of transportation: Tomemos un taxi. Let's take a taxi, No quiero tomar el autopista. I don't want to go on the motorway. To take medicine: Recomendamos que tome ambas pastillas a la vez. We recommend that you take both pills at the same time. To understand something a cer­ tain way: Me tomaron por loco. They thought I was crazy.

To adopt a course of action: Para demostrar que el cambio era efectivo, se tomaron medidas muy drásticas. In order to demonstrate that the change was effective, very drastic measures were taken, Tomé la derecha. I turned to the right.

Additionally, tomar is used in idiomatic phrases. Many of

them are equivalent to English phrases using the word "take." Here are some of the more common: Tomar apuntes — to take notes (an anglicism, tomar notas, is heard in some areas), Tomar el control — to take control, Tomar (un) examen — to take a test, Tomar fotos — to take photos (sacar fotos or hacer fotos is preferred in some areas), Tomar responsabilidad — to take responsibility, Tomar nota — to take note, Tomar parte — to take part, Tomar la pluma — to begin writing, Tomar el sol — to sunbathe, Tomar tier­ ra — to land (said of aircraft), ¡Tómate esa! — Take that! (said, for example, when hitting someone).

So, what are the differences between tomar, sacar and llevar? Basically the verb llevar is used in the sense of ´carry´ or ´transport´, sacar is used for ´take out´ as in

´remove´ and tomar generally means ´to take for your own use´. For example the verb llevar is used in the expression ´take away food´ = comida para llevar, sacar – el dentist sacó las muelas = the dentist took out the teeth.

In general I use this verb when I am talking to my son, ¡toma! When I want him to take something: ¡toma este libro y haz los deberes!

I hope you can practise this verb when necessary and use it in context, remember the best way to learn is to use and repeat, if that means walking around your living room talking to yourself then so be it, however you can practise do it! ¡Hazlo! Y mejorarás.

Have a great weekend, see you next week!

Friday 28th November 2014

17

18

Friday 28th November 2014

SIX COME SIXTH

A six strong line足up representing Team Cyclogical in Quesada produced a fine perform足 ance when they came sixth in the recent Club Ciclista Purisma Open Team Time Trials in Murcia. The course was over 27 kilometres. with the first three riders coming across the fin足 ishing line counting for the final team time.

The course was on the N301 between Cieza and Archena near Murcia and was very demanding with the first six kms going uphill, with Cyclogical team completed the 27 kms in 47mins and ended in an excellent sixth place overall which was a significant achievement given the fact that they were all veteran cyclists with ages ranging from 51 to 69 in age with most of the other teams being much younger. Next year Team Cyclogical are very keen to enter two teams featuring the old guys and the young guys! .After the event there was a dinner reception held in the TVH Hotel in Murcia with the presentation of the trophies to round off another great days cycling. The team are pictured from left to right : Peter Cunningham, Alan Quearns, Paul Durrant , Keith Bayford, Barry Rogers and Dave Brown.

Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

CAN YOU NAME THESE DOG BREEDS?

answers in next weeks edition

1.

6.

11.

2.

7.

12.

3.

8.

13.

4.

9.

14.

5.

10.

15.

Last Weeks Answers: 1) Japan 2) El Salvador 3) Australia 4) China 5) Brazil 6) Belgium 7) Ukraine 8) South Africa 9) Sweden 10) Norway 11) Georgia 12) Croatia 13) Vietnam 14) South Korea 15) Greece

TRELI ON THE TELLY BRING BACK BENNY

Show and mused at why mil­ lions of people tuned into a blatant piece of racism.

Beauty contests were sneered at (I loved Russell Harty’s obvious dislike of Most TV clips shows with hosting Miss TV Times) and B­list celebrities mumbling Benny Hill was given a pre­ their views in­between the dictable but undeserved lam­ bits that we have tuned in to basting. I actually enjoyed see, tend to have me grab­ seeing him again and I was bing for the remote control, in titters at his antics; so put but I’ve been fascinated by me down as wanting a full Channel Four’s two­parter, It deck of repeats. Please tell Was Alright in the 1970s. The this: ­ Why is Benny’s point of the programme is to humour viewed by the PC look at horror at some of the brigade as terrible these politically incorrect and days, yet the sexist Carry On downright racist and sexist movies are venerated as material of that decade, and classics and are trundled out for the talking heads to pour every week as cheap fillers scorn on it all. A lot of the across ITV’s channels? material I had not seen for That’s why I found aspects of years and so it was a cut It Was Alright in the 1970s above the usual well­worn and the guests on it to be compilation shows. I laughed downright hypocritical, as out loud at the appalling they sat in judgement whilst Black and White Minstrel a lot of us would have been

with ALEX TRELINSKI

worried about the standards diet of foul language, along of TV today. Be honest now, with explicit sex and violence do you prefer the endless that pops up most nights as

opposed to an altogether gentler if not perfect world of the seventies?

Channel Four has been heavily promoting their new dramas and they need to get their act together in that department. For a trail­blaz­ ing channel, they’ve been as bad as ITV this year for com­ ing up with groundbreaking British product. The second series of Utopia (now pulled) was awful, and I’m afraid despite the presence of James Nesbitt, I’ve given up on their allegedly comedic cop drama, Babylon. After a much trumpeted (and OK) pilot directed by Danny Boyle at the start of the year, there’s more steam from an elephant breaking wind as opposed to this boring mish­ mash that just doesn’t go anywhere. I’m all for send­ up, but the wheels of power and PR were shown up far

better decades ago in Yes Minister, and more recently by the brilliant, The Thick of It. Premier League footie fans must be having sleepless nights with the news that ITV want to wrest the highlights away from the BBC when a new contract fight starts in a few months time, which in effect means taking Match of the Day off the air. ITV have loads of money to play with, having lost the FA Cup and just six months remaining of their Champions League contract. They will bid high and that’s a problem for the cash­strapped Beeb, but shouldn’t the money grab­ bers at the Premier League take account of the views of the supporters who still remember the shambles that Des Lynam presided over in ITV’s previous tenure of the highlights?

20

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

FRIDAY

28th NOVEMBER

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Don't Mess with Me 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Channel Patrol 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:40 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:25 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Citizen Khan 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Not Going Out 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 01:20 Panorama 01:50 Afghanistan: The Lion's Last Roar?

02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Code 05:55 Schools ­ Cracking the Code 06:55 What Makes Me, Me 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Channel Patrol 08:50 Claimed and Shamed 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:10 Life in the Undergrowth 15:10 The Great British Bake Off 16:10 A Place to Call Home 16:55 The Rockford Files 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Home That Two Built 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Tigers About the House 22:30 Mock the Week 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:45 The World Is Not Enough

00:00 Family Guy 01:30 Life Is Toff 02:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:30 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 03:30 World's Craziest Fools 04:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 05:00 Close 20:00 Great Movie Mistakes 20:15 Atlantis 21:00 Motorway Cops 22:00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 23:00 Bad Education 23:30 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

00:30 The Real Tom Thumb: History's Smallest Superstar 02:00 Top of the Pops: 1979 02:35 Classic Albums 03:30 Puppy Love 04:00 Nigel Slater's Icing on the Cake 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Placido Domingo's Gala Concert 22:00 A Pink Floyd Miscellany: 1967­2005 23:00 Play it Loud: The Story of the Marshall Amp

THE MARTIN LEWIS MONEY SHOW 21:00 - ITV

1/9. New series. The personal finance guru returns with money­sav­ ing tips and tricks just in time for the festive season. The series kicks off on Black Friday with a look at not­to­be­missed deals, and the Festive Forecaster, predicting the start dates for high­street flash sales over the coming weeks. In Hertfordshire, Martin and reporter Saira Khan help a family carry out a personal stock­take of all their belong­ ings to help raise money for Christmas, selling off old clothes, mobile phones, buggies and toys. There's also a visit to the Christmas Ideal Home Show with ideas on how to conjure up cash for the holidays.

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:50 Plebs 01:20 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Dads 02:30 Scorpion 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Emmerdale 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Emmerdale 14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:00 You've Been Framed!

20:35 Ocean's Thirteen 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:50 999: What's Your Emergency?

01:55 One Born Every Minute 02:50 Unreported World 03:15 Dispatches 03:45 The Real Mill with Tony Robinson 04:40 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:40 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Jamie's Comfort Food 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Turner Prize at 30 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 The Missing Evidence 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Countdown to Murder 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Wildlife SOS 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Underground Britain 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 All I Want for Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 World War II in Colour 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 23:00 Body of Proof 23:55 NCIS: Los Angeles

00:00 Cracker

02:15 Sports Life Stories

01:10 A Touch of Frost 03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping

03:20 Cheers 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 French Fields

04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Black Gold

08:55 George and Mildred 09:25 Wycliffe 10:35 Judge Judy

07:40 Minder 08:40 The Professionals

11:00 Judge Judy 11:25 Judge Judy

09:40 Minder

11:55 A Touch of Frost

10:40 Magnum, PI

13:50 Heartbeat 14:55 The Memoirs of

11:40 Kojak

Sherlock Holmes

12:40 Alias Smith and Jones

16:00 Wycliffe 17:10 Faith in the Future

13:45 Live Darts

17:40 French Fields

18:00 Kojak

18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe

19:00 UEFA Europa League Highlights

21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Midsomer Murders

20:00 Live Darts

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

SATURDAY

21

29th NOVEMBER

02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:10 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 The Munch Box 10:25 Dinner Date 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 12:19 ITV Meridian Weather 12:20 All Star Family Fortunes 13:05 Surprise Surprise 14:05 Doc Martin 15:05 Keep It in the Family 16:10 Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 New You've Been Framed!

20:00 The Chase 21:00 The X Factor 22:45 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:50 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:05 Toast of London

22:00 The Inbetweeners Movie

00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Criminals: Caught on Camera 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Pip Ahoy!

08:45 Paw Patrol 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Mio Mao 09:40 Zack and Quack 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Access 11:40 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 12:40 Lost Holiday: the Jim and Suzanne Shemwell Story 14:25 The March Sisters at Christmas 16:10 I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus 18:00 A Fairytale Christmas 19:45 5 News Weekend 19:50 The Bridge at Remagen 22:00 The Expendables

00:00 Family Guy

00:00 Celebrity Juice

00:00 Cracker

00:00 Raging Bull

01:30 Sweat the Small Stuff

00:50 Plebs

01:10 A Touch of Frost

02:40 Black Gold

02:00

01:20 Two and a Half Men

03:00 Judge Judy

03:35 Cheers

01:45 Two and a Half Men

03:20 World Kitchen

02:05 Warren United

03:45 World Kitchen

02:30 Dads

04:10 ITV3 Nightscreen

02:50 Fake Reaction

04:40 Emmerdale

03:25 Teleshopping

07:00 Judge Judy

06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:20 The Three Musketeers

09:40 Bundesliga Football

07:00 The Hot Desk

09:30 The Royal

Highlights

07:10 Emmerdale

10:30 The Royal

10:40 UEFA Champions

10:05 Coronation Street

11:35 The Darling Buds of

League Weekly

12:30 Free Willy 3: the Rescue

May

11:10 GT Academy

14:20 Small Soldiers

12:40 The Darling Buds of

11:40 British Touring Car

16:30 Rumor Has It..

May

18:30 You've Been Framed!

13:50 Columbo: Swan Song

19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me

15:55 A Touch of Frost

00:20 Cuckoo 00:50 EastEnders 02:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 15:00 Live International Rugby Union 17:30 Final Score 18:25 Celebrity Mastermind 18:55 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:10 Pointless Celebrities 20:00 Strictly Come Dancing 21:15 Atlantis 22:00 Casualty 22:50 The National Lottery Live 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 National Lottery Update 23:20 Match of the Day

02:30 03:00 03:30 Live 04:30 05:00 20:00 Union 21:00 22:00 23:30

00:00 Weather 00:05 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 00:35 AI: Artificial Intelligence 02:50 Quatermass II 04:15 Question Time 05:15 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Timmy Time 07:25 Shaun the Sheep 07:35 Hacker Time 08:00 All Over the Place 08:30 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 09:00 Marrying Mum and Dad 09:30 Absolute Genius with Dick & Dom 10:00 Junior MasterChef 11:00 Deadly Pole to Pole 12:00 The Blue Planet 13:00 Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odyssey 14:00 Escape to the Country 15:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 18:30 Restoring England's Heritage 19:00 Natural World 20:00 Flog It! 21:00 Perry and Croft: Made in Britain 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 QI XL 22:45 Tomorrow's Worlds: The Unearthly History of Science Fiction

00:00 Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here 01:00 Great Guitar Riffs at Some Girls the BBC Bad Education 02:00 A Pink Floyd Life Is Toff Miscellany: 1967­2005 Edinburgh Comedy Fest 03:00 Play it Loud: The Story of the Marshall Amp 04:00 Pink Floyd: Wish You Sweat the Small Stuff Were Here Close 05:00 Close International Rugby 20:00 Ice Age Giants 21:00 Sex and Sensibility: Top Gear The Allure of Art Nouveau Sherlock 22:00 Inspector Montalbano 23:40 Imagine Live at the Apollo

DON’T MISS

THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE 22:00 - CHANNEL 4

Comedy based on the popular TV series, starring Simon Bird, Joe Out of Here!

Thomas, James Buckley and Harrison Blake. Four friends go on holi­ 20:00 The Perfect Storm day to the Greek party town of Malia, where the potent mix of sun, booze and teenage hormones leads to trouble.

00:40 30 Days of Night 02:40 Boss 04:40 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:35 Location, Location, Location 06:30 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:50 NFL: Rush Zone 07:15 Snowman Triathlon 07:40 Cycling: Revolution Series 08:40 A Day at the Races 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Simpsons 13:25 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:25 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Woolly Mammoth: The Autopsy 21:00 Walking Through History

17:55 Agatha Christie's Marple

04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Black Gold 07:45 Black Gold 08:40 Motorsport UK

Championship 13:45 Live Darts 18:00 Cheers 18:30 Storage Wars

22:45 The Xtra Factor

19:55 Rosemary & Thyme

19:00 Storage Wars

23:50 I'm a Celebrity Get Me

21:00 Doc Martin

19:30 Storage Wars

Out of Here Now!

22:00 Foyle's War

20:00 Live Darts

22

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

SUNDAY

30th NOVEMBER

00:50 The Football League

00:55 ITV News and Weather 01:15 Coogan's Bluff 02:50 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

07:25 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Ultimate Spider­Man 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 Big Time Rush 10:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:34 ITV Meridian Weather 12:35 Carry On Again Doctor 14:20 The Unforgettable 14:55 All Star Family Fortunes 15:55 The X Factor 17:40 Midsomer Murders 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Keep It in the Family 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:05 ITV News and Weather 23:19 ITV Meridian Weather 23:20 The Cube

00:00 The Sitter

23:30 Match of the Day 2

00:30 Snooker: UK Championship 01:20 Snooker: UK Championship Extra 03:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Great British Garden Revival 08:15 Countryfile 09:15 Glorious Gardens from Above 10:00 The Football League Show 11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:50 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:20 International Rugby Union 14:20 Live Snooker: UK Championship 18:30 Glorious Gardens from Above 19:15 Flog It! 20:00 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom 21:00 The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 22:00 World's Greatest Food Markets 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 The Wrong Mans

& Joking

¡00:10 War 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Gotham 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Pip Ahoy!

09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Zack and Quack 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:20 LazyTown 10:50 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:25 Access 11:30 Police Interceptors 14:30 Noel 16:20 Matchmaker Santa 18:00 Annie Claus Is Coming to Town 19:45 5 News Weekend 19:50 Planet of the Apes 22:00 The Expendables 2

00:00 02:10 02:35 03:05 03:35 04:05 04:35 05:00 20:00 21:00 22:00 Live 23:00 23:25 23:45

00:40 Shirley Bassey at the BBC 01:40 Top of the Pops: 1979 02:15 Sounds of the 70s 2 02:45 Ice Age Giants 03:45 Sex and Sensibility: The Allure of Art Nouveau 04:45 Close 20:00 The Great War 20:40 Britain's Wild Places 20:50 Britain's Wild Places 21:00 The Day of the Triffids 21:30 The Day of the Triffids 22:00 Blondie: One Way or Another 23:10 Ca$h

00:50 The X Factor

00:00 A Touch of Frost

00:00 Green Street

02:40 The Xtra Factor

01:40 Bomb Girls

02:10 River Monsters: Untold

02:30 World Kitchen

Stories

02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:15 Black Gold

Show 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:25 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:15 Homes Under the Hammer 16:15 Escape to the Country 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:50 Life Story 18:50 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Countryfile 20:15 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Remember Me 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

Family Guy Family Guy Some Girls Live at the Apollo Life Is Toff Sweat the Small Stuff Comedy Feeds Close Great TV Mistakes Doctor Who Edinburgh Comedy Fest Family Guy Family Guy American Dad!

DON’T MISS

THE EXPENDABLES 2 22:00 - FIVE

03:35 The Hot Desk

01:40 Boomerang 03:40 Hollyoaks 05:40 SuperScrimpers 06:00 Location, Location, Location 06:55 NFL: Rush Zone 07:20 NFL: The American Football Show 08:15 How I Met Your Mother 08:40 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Jamie's Comfort Food 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:35 The Big Bang Theory 15:05 The Big Bang Theory 15:35 The Simpsons 16:05 The Simpsons 16:35 Inkheart 18:45 Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs 20:30 Channel 4 News 21:00 Secret History 22:00 Homeland 23:00 Jimmy Carr: Laughing

03:45 Teleshopping 06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Emmerdale

03:30 Teleshopping

10:00 Coronation Street

07:00 Judge Judy

12:30 The X Factor

07:20 Wycliffe

14:25 The Xtra Factor

Big Bang

09:20 Ax Men 10:15 Heartbeat 10:20 The Life and Death of 11:20 Heartbeat

17:50 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

14:35 Columbo: Negative

Bruce Willis. The crack team of mercenaries take on what looks like the 21:00 Scorpion

Out of Here Now!

Colonel Blimp 13:45 Live Darts 18:00 Alias Smith and Jones

Reaction

19:00 Cheers

16:40 The Nun's Story

19:35 World of Sport: Dare

19:45 Inspector Morse

Devils

22:00 Lewis

19:45 Live Darts

easy job of retrieving an item from a crashed plane in Albania. But when 22:00 The Xtra Factor one of the group is murdered by an international arms dealer, it turns 23:05 I'm a Celebrity Get Me into a mission of revenge.

07:40 Black Gold 08:25 Black Gold

12:20 A Touch of Frost

Action adventure starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and 18:50 She's the Man

07:00 Black Gold

08:25 On the Buses

15:25 The Hot Desk 15:40 Nanny McPhee & the

04:00 Teleshopping

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

MONDAY

23

1st

DECEMBER 00:30 The Apprentice 01:30 Color of Night 03:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Channel Patrol 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:55 Tom Kerridge's Proper Pub Food 17:25 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Could I Get Ebola?

21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Miranda 22:00 Wild Weather with Richard Hammond 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:00 The Wrong Mans 00:30 Snooker: UK Championship 01:20 Snooker: UK Championship Extra 03:20 Countryfile 04:20 Holby City 05:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Channel Patrol 08:50 Claimed and Shamed 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:05 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 20:30 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 Posh People: Inside Tatler 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:20 Premiership Rugby Union 01:10 The Store 03:30 Motorsport UK 04:20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Agenda

00:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:05 Confessions Of 02:05 According to Jim 02:25 American Football Live 05:45 Snowman Triathlon 06:10 Win It Cook It 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Turner Prize 2014 21:00 Dispatches 22:00 Skint 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Toast of London

00:05 Universal Soldier 02:05 SuperCasino 04:10 The Gadget Show 05:00 House Doctor 05:20 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Conned, Fleeced and Left for Broke 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The National Tree 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 The Missing Evidence 22:00 Gotham 23:00 Most Shocking TV Moments

00:10 American Dad! 00:30 Some Girls 01:00 Life Is Toff 01:30 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 02:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:00 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:30 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:00 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:30 Life Is Toff 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Don't Tell the Bride 23:00 Some Girls 23:30 EastEnders

00:50 Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here 01:50 Play it Loud: The Story of the Marshall Amp 02:50 Great Guitar Riffs at the BBC 03:50 Top of the Pops: 1979 04:50 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Lost Cities of the Ancients 22:00 Dancing Cheek to Cheek: An Intimate History of Dance 23:00 Nuts in May

00:05 Educating Joey Essex: Space Cadet 01:05 Two and a Half Men 02:00 Dads 02:25 Fake Reaction 03:00 The Vampire Diaries 03:45 The Hot Desk 03:50 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:05 You've Been Framed!

21:10 The Scorpion King 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:00 Wycliffe

00:00 Rambo: First Blood, Part II 02:00 Minder 03:00 Jean­Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Black Gold 07:40 Minder 08:35 The Professionals 09:35 Kojak 10:35 Magnum, PI 11:35 Border Security USA 12:35 Alias Smith and Jones 13:35 Minder 14:40 The Professionals 15:45 Cheers 16:15 Magnum, PI 17:20 Kojak 18:20 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Premiership Rugby Union 21:00 Storage Wars 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Storage Wars 22:30 Storage Wars 23:00 Ax Men

DON’T MISS

WILD WEATHER WITH RICHARD HAMMOND 22:00 - BBC1

New series. The Top Gear host reveals the hidden secrets at the heart of some of the world's most extreme weather in stunning detail, experiencing extraordinary phenomena first­hand. The first instalment focuses on wind, and sees the presenter brave temperatures of ­45C on top of Mount Washington in New Hampshire, where in 1934 the highest wind speed ever measured on land ­ 231mph ­ was recorded.

Richard investigates how wind actually starts, walks into the centre of a man­made tornado and employs fire to make a 10m­high whirlwind.

01:10 The Elephant Man 03:20 Judge Judy 03:45 Judge Judy 04:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:30 French Fields 09:00 George and Mildred 09:30 The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes 10:40 Judge Judy 11:05 Judge Judy 11:35 Judge Judy 12:00 Phillip's Live 24 Hour TV Marathon for Text Santa

24

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

TUESDAY

2nd DECEMBER

00:20 Citizen Khan 00:50 The Graham Norton Show 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Channel Patrol 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:55 Tom Kerridge's Proper Pub Food 17:25 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Missing 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine

00:20 Snooker: UK Championship 01:10 Snooker: UK Championship Extra 03:10 The Apprentice 04:10 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Around the World in 80 Faiths 06:00 Operation Cloud Lab: Secrets of the Skies 06:30 Schools ­ William Whiskerson: Island, Farm, City 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Channel Patrol 08:50 Claimed and Shamed 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 Antiques Roadshow 11:05 Close Calls: On Camera 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:25 Phillip's Live 24 Hour TV Marathon for Text Santa 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Public Enemies

00:20 The IT Crowd 00:50 Random Acts 00:55 NFL: The American Football Show 01:55 Laurence Anyways 04:45 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:40 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 17 Kids and Counting 23:00 Gogglebox

01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Miracle Babies 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Santa Jr 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 UK's Strongest Man 21:00 Britain's Craziest Christmas Lights 22:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 23:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole

00:00 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:30 Some Girls 02:00 Don't Tell the Bride 02:55 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:25 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:55 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:25 Some Girls 04:55 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Barely Legal Drivers 22:00 Stacey Dooley Investigates 23:00 Life Is Toff 23:30 EastEnders

00:20 Legends 01:20 Imagine 02:20 Puppy Love 02:50 California Comes to the Whistle Test 03:50 Dancing Cheek to Cheek: An Intimate History of Dance 04:50 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Bombay Railway 22:00 Michael Grade's Stars of the Musical Theatre 23:00 Balmoral

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:50 Plebs 01:20 Two and a Half Men 02:15 Dads 02:35 Fake Reaction 03:10 The Hot Desk 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:30 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Vampire Diaries 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:00 Phillip's Live 24 Hour

00:00 Bundesliga Football Highlights 01:00 Premiership Rugby Union 02:00 Motorsport UK 02:50 Minder 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals 07:15 Black Gold 08:00 Minder 09:00 The Professionals 10:05 Kojak 11:05 Magnum, PI 12:05 Alias Smith and Jones 13:50 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 15:55 Border Security USA 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Chase 22:00 The Specialist

DON’T MISS

17 KIDS AND COUNTING 22:00 - CHANNEL 4

An update on the Radfords, Britain's biggest family, following them over the course of 12 months. The older children are now beginning to fly the nest, while Sophie has moved out and is set to make Noel and Sue grandparents for the second time. Chloe prepares to go to univer­ sity to study child development, and as everyone gears up for Christmas, Sue and Noel look forward to what the new year will bring.

However, their plan to expand the family further gives them one of their hardest years yet.

TV Marathon for Text Santa 12:00 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Agatha Christie's Marple 17:05 Faith in the Future 17:40 French Fields 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe 21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Lewis

25

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

WEDNESDAY

3rd DECEMBER

00:40 Film 2014 01:10 Skeletons 02:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Channel Patrol 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:55 Tom Kerridge's Proper Pub Food 17:25 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Match of the Day

00:20 Snooker: UK Championship 01:10 Snooker: UK Championship Extra 03:10 Film 2014 03:40 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: Wonders of the Universe 06:00 Schools ­ Planet Dinosaur 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Channel Patrol 08:45 Claimed and Shamed 09:15 Glorious Gardens from Above 10:00 Human Universe 11:00 Close Calls: On Camera 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Autumn Statement 16:30 Live Snooker: UK Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Tigers About the House 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

02:15 Jackpot247

00:00 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 Life Is Toff 01:40 Some Girls 02:10 Stacey Dooley Investigates 03:10 Barely Legal Drivers 04:05 Life Is Toff 04:35 Comedy Feeds 04:55 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Gavin & Stacey 21:30 Gavin & Stacey 22:00 Football Fight Club 23:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

00:00 When Rock Goes Acoustic 01:00 Acoustic at the BBC 02:00 Michael Grade's Stars of the Musical Theatre 03:00 Sex and Sensibility: The Allure of Art Nouveau 04:00 When Rock Goes Acoustic 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Bombay Railway 22:00 And Now for Something Completely Different 23:25 Frost on Sketch Shows

DON’T MISS

THE APPRENTICE 22:00 - BBC1

9/14. Alan Sugar pays an early morning visit to the candidates to tell them he is about to test their negotiation skills. For their next challenge, they have just one day to buy nine items ­ all of which have featured in tasks throughout the history of the show ­ at the best possible prices.

There follows a day of rushing around London as Summit and Tenacity search for kosher chickens, nigella seeds, oud oil, human skeletons and the rest, trying to get them at knockdown prices before hurrying back to the boardroom to find out which team has spent the least.

23:40 The Chase

00:05 Skint 01:05 Poker 02:05 Trans World Sport 03:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:25 Cycling: Revolution Series 04:20 Snowman Triathlon 04:45 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Posh Pawn 22:00 Liberty of London 23:00 Confessions Of

00:00 NCIS 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Through a Child's Eyes 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Christmas Comes Home to Canaan 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Living on the Edge 21:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 22:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 23:00 Asbo & Proud

00:00 Celebrity Juice

00:00 Cracker

00:15 The Matrix

00:50 Plebs

01:05 A Touch of Frost

02:50 Black Gold

01:20 Two and a Half Men

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:30 Tommy Cooper

04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian

02:15 Dads 02:35 The Vampire Diaries 03:20 Teleshopping

03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand

04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 World Cup Hat­Trick Heroes

06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

07:25 Heartbeat

07:05 Black Gold

07:00 Life's Funniest

08:25 French Fields

07:50 Minder

Moments

08:55 George and Mildred

08:50 The Professionals

07:25 You've Been Framed!

09:25 The Casebook of

09:50 Kojak

07:45 Emmerdale

Sherlock Holmes

10:55 Magnum, PI

08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains

10:35 Judge Judy 11:50 A Touch of Frost

11:55 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder

14:00 Heartbeat

15:00 The Professionals

12:15 All Star Family Fortunes

15:00 Agatha Christie's

16:00 Pawn Stars

13:15 Emmerdale

Marple

16:55 Magnum, PI

14:15 You've Been Framed!

17:05 Faith in the Future

18:00 Kojak

14:50 Royal Pains

17:40 French Fields

15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show

18:15 George and Mildred

11:15 The Chase

19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:30 Ocean's Thirteen 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 GT Academy

18:50 Heartbeat

21:30 Storage Wars

19:55 Wycliffe

22:00 River Monsters: Untold

21:00 Doc Martin

Stories

22:00 Lewis

23:00 Rambo III

26

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

THURSDAY

4th DECEMBER

01:10 The 13th Warrior 02:50 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:55 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Channel Patrol 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:10 Escape to the Country 16:55 Tom Kerridge's Proper Pub Food 17:25 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Question Time

00:20 Snooker: UK Championship 01:10 Intruders 01:55 See Hear 02:25 Trust Me, I'm a Doctor 03:25 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Welcome to the World 05:30 Schools: Your Body, Your Image 05:40 Schools ­ Body Matters 06:10 Schools: Ten Pieces 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Channel Patrol 08:50 Claimed and Shamed 09:20 Glorious Gardens from Above 10:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 11:05 Close Calls: On Camera 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Live Snooker: UK Championship 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 The Fall 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 Weather

00:40 Fool Britannia

00:00 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:00 Russell Howard's Good News 02:30 Life Is Toff 03:00 Some Girls 03:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 04:00 Football Fight Club 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Looking After Mum: A Children in Need Special 23:00 World's Craziest Fools 23:30 EastEnders

00:25 When Albums Ruled the World 01:55 Blondie: One Way or Another 03:05 New York Rock at the BBC 04:05 Sounds of the 70s 2 04:35 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Top of the Pops: 1979 21:00 Orbit: Earth's Extraordinary Journey 22:00 Castles ­ Britain's Fortified History 23:00 Puppy Love 23:30 Dancing Cheek to Cheek: An Intimate History of Dance

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:50 Plebs 01:20 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Dads 02:35 You've Been Framed!

03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:30 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

DON’T MISS

GEORGE CLARKE´S AMAZING SPACES 21:00 - CHANNEL 4

7/9. The architect travels to Macclesfield to meet a first­time builder who hopes to transform an allotment shed into a Doctor Who­esque, multi­functional play den for less than £300. He also visits a spectacular live­in tree house in Scotland, and creates a medieval­style lock for the wood cabin, with Will's help. The Italian road trip takes in a holiday

01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Die Another Day

00:05 24 Hours in A&E 01:05 17 Kids and Counting 02:05 Superstar DJs: With Annie Mac 03:00 The Players 04:50 The Last Wagon 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Babylon

00:00 Britain's Craziest Christmas Lights 01:00 Dallas 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Britain's Bloodiest Dynasty 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Annie Claus Is Coming to Town 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 The Railway: First Great Western 22:00 Britain's Bloodiest Dynasty 23:00 Revealed

00:00 Cracker

01:10 Green Street

01:05 A Touch of Frost

03:05 Black Gold

03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen

03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen

03:30 Teleshopping

04:00 Teleshopping

07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 French Fields 08:55 George and Mildred

07:00 UEFA Champions League Hat­Trick Heroes 07:05 Black Gold 07:50 Minder 08:55 The Professionals

09:25 The Darling Buds of

09:55 Kojak

May

10:55 Magnum, PI

10:35 Judge Judy

12:00 Pawn Stars

11:55 A Touch of Frost

12:55 Alias Smith and Jones

14:00 Heartbeat

13:55 Minder

15:00 Agatha Christie's

15:00 The Professionals

Marple 17:05 Faith in the Future 17:40 French Fields

16:00 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones

18:15 George and Mildred

20:00 Pawn Stars

18:50 Heartbeat

20:30 Pawn Stars

19:55 Wycliffe

21:00 Journey to Le Mans

21:00 Doc Martin

22:00 River Monsters

22:00 Lewis

23:00 The Matrix Reloaded

COURIER TV GUIDE 足 Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

27

28

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 13 represents C and 14 represents K, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

1 Express approval of (6) 4 Large, tusked marine mammal (6) 8 Stiff (5) 10 Horrify (5) 11 Distributed (5) 12 Concur (5) 13 Hirsute (5) 14 Unpleasant (5) 17 Waistband (4) 19 Young sheep (4) 21 Fragrance (5) 24 Contribution (5) 25 Squander (5) 27 Offence (5) 28 Bloodsucking insect (5) 29 Connections (5) 30 Afraid (6)

31 Rely on (6)

Down

1 Maybe (7) 2 Ire (5) 3 Make unhappy (6) 5 Indifference (6) 6 Imitation (7) 7 Foolish (5) 9 Flexible containers (4) 15 Curved line (3) 16 Brown (3) 18 Cooking utensil (7) 20 Holy (7) 21 Break away (6) 22 Correct (4) 23 Dozen (6) 24 Trades (5) 26 From that time (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Made, 4 Fumed, 9 Abstain, 10 Recur, 11 Hanoi, 12 Session, 13 Rapier, 15 Asleep, 19 Startle, 21 Small, 23 Traps, 24 Prairie, 25 Thyme, 26 Need.

Down: 2 Arson, 3 Examine, 4 Finish, 5 Marks, 6 Deceive, 7 Gather, 8 Wren, 14 Peasant, 16 Sustain, 17 Pilfer, 18 People, 19 Site, 20 Tasty, 22 Agree.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Not much of a fall? (4) 4 Papers from government department backing fuel (5) 9 A snake has to stop on the road surface (7) 10 Very subdued letter from Greece to Edward (5) 11 Some doctors always keep this wine in (5) 12 Company money is dis­ tributed for wealth (7) 13 The solution is about me and the end of the comedy (6) 15 Insurgents reveal pressing (6) 19 Get set, Lego can break (7) 21 Compare elk in disguise (5) 23 More uncommon rubles are registered (5) 24 Make cream tea without a fire (7) 25 News agency didn’t reveal the enemy in the garden (5) STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Let fall to the ground (4) 4 Manuscript page (5) 9 Road surface (7) 10 In a softened tone (5) 11 Red Bordeaux wine (5) 12 Thrift (7) 13 Cure (6) 15 Pressing (6) 19 Become gelatinous (7) 21 Compare (5) 23 More elusive (5) 24 Reduce to ashes (7) 25 Plant louse (5) 26 Hop (4)

26 Pass over little captain (4) Down 2 Raid outside Portugal is swift (5) 3 Danced around public relations with an article and some notes (7) 4 More able mechanic (6) 5 Dance in a state of uncertainty (5) 6 Beaten due to no make­ up (7) 7 Tool for one who’s over the top on stage (6) 8 Little Edward’s in a whirl (4) 14 Pitman’s state goddess (7) 16 They help make curls and waves (7) 17 Painful bid (6) 18 The Conservative in tar­ tan is not easily upset (6) 19 Complain about fresh­ water fish (4) 20 World consisting of energy, skill and hydrogen (5) 22 Uniformly brown (5) Down 2 Speedy (5) 3 Strutted about (7) 4 Improved in health (6) 5 State of uncertainty (5) 6 Surpassed (7) 7 Carpenter’s tool (6) 8 Whirlpool (4) 14 Roman goddess of wis­ dom (7) 16 Hair styling spools (7) 17 Sensitive (6) 18 Even­tempered (6) 19 Freshwater fish (4) 20 Third planet from the Sun (5) 22 Yellowish brown colour (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Alto, 3 Spheres, 7/27 Cop out, 8 Ngaio, 9 Rumba, 10 Boise, 11 Molar, 12 Merge, 13 Anti, 14 Nicks, 16 Inert, 18 Feud, 20 Venom, 22 Lodes, 24 Afire, 25 Preen, 26 Slope, 28 Red hair, 29 Asia.

Down: 1 Agnomen, 2 Trail, 3 Spoilt, 4 Harem, 5 Remorse, 6 Shake, 7 Cobras, 15 Contend, 16 Idlest, 17 Tessera, 19 Editor, 20 Viper, 21 Manna, 23 Doors.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words He We 3 letter words Ale Can Lea Let Opt Tar Ten Who 4 letter words Afar Aged Alto

Beta Boss Clot Clue East Edge Glob Gnus Host Life Lira Lots Neve Nuts Obit Onto Rare Robe Rods Safe

Save Sees Slat Slot This Thus Urge Urns Weal 5 letter words Abbot Boots Cater Cause Chalk Coops Costa Crazy

Elate Ensky Guess Hails Maize Manes Nadir Petit Pious Refer Salad Slope Soaps Stern Straw Tally Thane Tiger Toils Whole

6 letter words Accuse Cavern Clumsy Grebes Greets Rabies Siesta Swerve 8 letter words Trousers Tsarinas 9 letter words Chameleon Orangeade

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Estrellas (5) 4 Friends (6) 9 Noisy (7) 10 Listo (dispuesto) (5) 11 Sabio (acción, decisión) (4) 12 Gatitos (7) 13 Faiths (3) 14 Other (f) (4) 16 Smell (odour) (4) 18 Hijo (3) 20 Statue (7) 21 Little (not much) (4) 24 Equipos (deporte) (5) 25 Dummy (for baby) (7) 26 Wheels (6)

27 Asientos (muebles) (5) Down 1 Tornillos (6) 2 Goodbye (5) 3 Zapato (4) 5 Maratón (8) 6 Granary (7) 7 El más vergonzoso (6) 8 Libros (5) 13 Ghost (8) 15 Tattoo (7) 17 Carta (al correo) (6) 18 Salsa (5) 19 Torres (6) 22 Ear (anatomical) (5) 23 Jarras (4)

29

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 28th November to Thursday 4th December Across 8 In classical music, what name is given to a piece of music written for one or more solo instruments and an orchestra? (8) 9 Which 2009 American epic science fiction film written and directed by James Cameron, is set in 2154, when humans are mining a precious mineral called unobtanium on Pandora, a lush moon of a gas giant in the Alpha Centauri star system? (6) 10 Which English ‘psychedel­ ic rock group’, founded in 1965, launched the career of Peter Frampton? (4) 11 What was the name of the record label founded by the Beatles in 1968? (5) 12 Meaning ‘so be it’, what is the last word of the New Testament of The Bible? (4) 13 How many lines does a sonnet usually consist of? (8) 16 What is the surname of the American actress who began her screen career in 1932 at the age of three, and, in 1934, sky­rocketed to superstardom in Bright Eyes? (6) 18 What was the name of the goofy, ugly member of the Bash Street Kids, who later appeared in his own comic?

(4)

20 In the television sitcom Sykes, what was the nick­ name of PC Wilfred Turnbull, played by Deryck Guyler? (5) 21 Which double reed musi­ cal instrument of the wood­ wind family was formerly known as a hautbois or hoboy? (4) 22 Which first name links singers Estefan and Gaynor?

(6) 23 What is the title of the BBC quiz programme that pits a team of five highly regarded quiz and game show champi­ ons against a series of ‘chal­ lengers’? (8) 26 What name is often used to describe a woman of out­ standing talent in the world of opera, and by extension in theatre, cinema and popular music? (4) 28 Which 1928 play by Michael Morton was based on the Agatha Christie novel The Murder of Roger Ackroyd? (5) 30 Mellow Gold, Odelay and Modern Guilt were all hit albums recorded by which American musician, singer­ songwriter, and multi­instru­ mentalist? (4) 31 Which rock band’s album titles included Outlandos d’Amour, Reggatta de Blanc and Zenyattà Mondatta? (6)

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

32 According to Edward Lear’s nonsense poem The Owl and the Pussycat, what was the colour of the beautiful boat that the characters went

to sea in? (3­5)

Down 1 Which Spanish dance in triple time accompanied by

guitar and castanets shares its name with a short jacket?

(6) 2 What is the name of the sub­genre of house music that emphasises a repetitive, hypnotic and trance­like style, often with samples or spoken lines rather than sung lyrics?

(4) 3 Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson were the principal characters in which 1978 musical film? (6) 4 Television drama series about the daily lives and problems of a group of people who live in a particular place are often referred to as (what) operas? (4) 5 Which 1971 multi­million selling album by singer­song­ writer Carole King features the songs It’s Too Late, You’ve Got a Friend and (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman? (8) 6 Recording artist Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is better known as Lady (Who)? (4) 7 What was the title of Abba song that won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest? (8) 14/17 Which actor played James Bond in Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved

Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy and A View to a Kill? (5,5) 15 The second in the Carry On series of films, released in 1959, was entitled Carry On (What)? (5) 17 See 14 19 According to her 1964 hit single, what was the name of Millie’s My Boy? (8) 20 The game show Give Us a Clue was a televised version of which word guessing game? (8) 24 With which musical instru­ ment would you principally associate Eric Clapton and Chet Atkins? (6) 25 In the US this type of work­ er is referred to as a long­ shoreman, what he be known as in the UK? (6) 27 In music, what name is given to an elaborate song for solo voice? (4) 29 Which 2009 comedy film consisting of numerous sketches and parodies, starred Linda Blair as Jamie, Colleen Camp as Young Lady, Julia Duffy as Marjorie and Erika Eleniak as Brook?

(4) 30 Voiced by actress Nancy Cartwright, what is the first name of Homer and Marge Simpson’s son? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

EL BAÑO ­THE BATHROOM Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

literature QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. St. Petersburg 2. Patrick White 3. Archaeologist 4. He is the wizard of Oz. 5. Camels 6. M (Bond films) 7. Trees 8.

The demigod Promethus 9. Youth 10. Akala 11. Great Expectations 12. Robert Redford 13. Fur, they change to glass in 1600s

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Tich, 3 Beeb, 6 Tacit, 10 Minstrels, 11 Yeats, 12 Sparrow, 13 Outlaws, 14 Oval, 16 Pincer, 18/25D Rio Bravo, 21 Eat, 22 Answer, 23 Aled, 25 Burbank, 29 Agave, 30 Vancouver, 31 Ochre, 32 Neon, 33 Kris.

Down: 1 Tombstone, 2 Conga, 4 Edelweiss, 5 Basso, 6 Toy Story, 7 Chaparral, 8 Tusks, 9 Starr, 15 Aftermath, 17 Crescendo, 19 Order arms, 20 Japanese, 24 Ascot, 26/27 Kevin Costner, 28 Never.

el lavamanos

el champú

la bañera

el cortinero

la cortina

el desagüe

la cuchilla

el excusado

la ducha

el gel de baño

la esponja

el gorro de baño

la jabonera

el grifo

la toalla

el jabón Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el botiquín, 2.el champú,

15.la esponja, 16.la jabonera,

j.the soap dish, k.the curtain rail,

3.el cortinero, 4.el desagüe,

17.la toalla.

l.the sponge, m.the bath, n.the razor, o.the wash basin,

5.el excusado, 6.el gel de baño, 7.el gorro de baño, 8.el grifo,

a.the tap, b.the toilet, c.shower

9.el jabón, 10.el lavamanos,

gel, d.the shower, e.the towel,

11.la bañera, 12.la cortina,

f.the first aid kit, g.the drain,

13.la cuchilla, 14.la ducha,

h.the bath cap, i.the shampoo,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

p.the soap, q.the shower curtain Answers: 1f, 2i, 3k, 4g, 5b, 6c, 7h, 8a, 9p, 10o, 11m, 12q, 13n, 14d, 15l, 16j, 17e.

1. In which village do Tom Sawer and Huckleberry Finn live?

2. Which Australian writer won the Nobel prize in 1973?

3. What did Agatha Christie's husband do for a living?

4. Who is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs?

5. The French Laurousse Gastronomique contains 9 recopies for cooking what?

6. What is Admiral Sir Miles Messervy usually known as?

7. In Greek mythology a Hamadryads Spirit guarded what?

8. In Greek mythology who created man?

9. What was Hebe the goddess of?

10. Who was the leader of the wolf pack in 'The Jungle Book'?

11. Bentlet Drummle appears in which Dicken's novel?

12. Which actor wrote the book 'The Outlaw Trail'?

13. What were Cinderella's slippers originally made from?

el botiquín

Fill It In

30

Friday 28th November 2014

GP DEMENTIA GREAT CUTS AND PAYMENTS SCRAPPED PAMPERING

Due to their continued success, London trained hair stylists, David and Karen of Cut and Co. have recently moved to new premises in Calle Los Arcos in Quesada.

Both have over 20 years’ experience in the hairdressing business and provide precision haircuts in a relaxed atmosphere with care and attention given to every client. A new addition to the Salon is our talented Stylist Debbie who works on Mondays and Thursdays. Annette works on Tuesdays and provides luxury mani­ cures and pedicures and rejuvenating facials. On Wednesdays, Thelma, our Aromatherapist and Reflexologist is avail­

able and on Fridays, Sheena our Beauty Therapist, who specialises in all beauty treatments including nails and pedicures will be available. Wedding Packages are now available at Cut and Co that includes Hair, Nails and Full Make­up. You can find us on facebook at Cut and Co and also Wedding make­up artist and Nails Costa Blanca.

Throughout the festive period Cut and Co are providing a glass of champagne and mince pie to all their clients. To book a hair or any other beauty appointment telephone Karen on 648 879 654 or David on 699 409 433.

The NHS is to drop a controversial “cash for diagnoses” scheme which pays GPs £55 for every extra patient diagnosed with dementia.

Simon Stevens, NHS chief executive, said the initiative, which met a backlash from doctors and patients, will end in April ­ the Government deadline for a target to improve diagnosis rates.

The national scheme was branded “an ethical travesty” by some GPs, 50 of whom wrote to Mr Stevens calling for the payments to be axed.

Leading GPs said that giving says that giving doctors financial rewards for diagnosing patients set a “dangerous precedent” which could break the trust between them and their patients.

They said the scheme, aimed at improving diagnosis rates for the condition, could have “truly tragic consequences” ­ in encouraging doctors to incorrectly label patients as suffering from the condition.

Earlier this month a poll of 600 GPs found that two thirds thought the scheme was not eth­ ical – but almost half intended to take the payments anyway.

The NHS England scheme promised GP practices an extra £55 for every extra dementia sufferer identified between October 2014 and the end of March 2015.

It was part of efforts to improve low rates of diagno­ sis in England, which the Health Secretary has warned are a “national shame”.

Currently less than half of the 850,000 dementia suffer­ ers in England are estimated to have a formal diagnosis.

The Government has pledged to improve this, and set a high­profile target to ensure 66 per cent of cases are diagnosed by April, ahead of the election.

Now Mr Stevens has indi­ cated that the initiative, con­ demned by patients’ groups as putting “a bounty on the head” of the most vulnerable, will not be renewed in April.

Friday 28th November 2014

Q

31

I am a 62 year old retired man, and in fairly good health even though I spoke half a pack of cigarettes a day. Other than quitting, which I don’t see myself doing in the near future, what can I do to improve my health?

A

The most important thing for you to do right now is to detoxify your body.

By that I mean helping your body get rid of toxins that would have accumu­ lated from smoking cigarettes. It has been estimated that the smoke from cig­ arettes contains over 4000 different chemicals, many of which are extremely toxic and have been linked to cancer. These toxic chemicals are the reason why cigarettes are harmful to our health. Many people are aware of Carbon monoxide as a toxic by­product of cigarette smoking. Carbon monoxide displaces oxygen in haemoglobin – the red pigment that transports oxygen. A lack of oxygen equates to a lack of energy in cells.

Without energy, cells cannot get rid of toxic waste mostly from cigarettes, thus creating a vicious cycle. Cigarette smoking is recognised as the biggest source of cadmium contami­ nation in the body. Cadmium is a highly toxic heavy metal. In my experience with performing diagnostic scans, I have observed that nearly all smokers and even ex­smokers are heavily contaminated with cadmium. A number of international agencies have recognised cadmium as a cancer causing chemical. Cadmium has clearly been documented to decrease attention span and memory in people. In men, it reduces sperm count and libido, and has also been linked to disorders of the prostate gland. Arsenic, Cyanide and lead are known poisons, and are found in cigarette smoke. In addition, cigarette smoke is known to contain other deadly substances such as Polonium­ a cancer causing radioactive metal, Formaldehyde – used to preserve dead bodies, Methoprene – an insecticide, Bezene – used in making dyes and rubbers, among many other toxic substances. You can see that the most useful advice for any smoker is to undergo a complete detoxification process to rid the body of these toxins.

First, it is important to make the distinction between a ‘Metabolic Detoxification’ and a ‘Colonic Irrigation’. Metabolic detoxification eliminates toxins from inside the cells, while a colonic irrigation is more of an external process, to clean out the intestines. The difference between them can be likened to the difference between having your car cleaned out in a car wash, and having it cleaned out in a garage. Properly done detox usually takes several weeks. In my experience, the most effective products for eliminating toxins from the body are ‘Metabolic Cleanse’ and ‘Pecta Sol’. I usually use both products together for a more com­ plete cleanse. Metabolic cleanse is a special formulation by Douglas laboratories. It contains special nutrients required by the liver and intestines to remove toxic substances from the body. These special nutrients include: N­acetyl Cysteine, Inositol, and many amino acids required for the body’s detoxification processes. Pecta Sol is one of the most effective

agents for removing from the body heavy metals such as mercury, cadmium, lead and arsenic. Research has shown that Pecta Sol increases the urinary excretion of heavy metals a hundred fold. Smoking is also known to destroy Vitamin C from the body, and so smokers are better off taking lots of vitamin C. Vitamin C is extremely useful to the body as a powerful antioxidant. Vitamin C is quickly used by the body and the best form for smokers to take is ‘Slow release vitamin C’. In summary to improve your health as a smoker you should con­ sider having a complete detox to eliminate toxins from your body, and also supplementing with slow release Vitamin C supplements.

MedB Health supplies High Quality Supplements from Douglas Laboratories. Call 965071745 or visit www.medb.es for more information

How safe are medical tests and scans?

Diagnostic scans come in handy for examining the interior of the body. The ones common­ ly available from hospitals are: X­rays, CT scans, MRI’s endoscopies, and blood tests. Other types include EEG (Electroencephalograph) and ECG (Electrocardiograph). X­rays and blood tests are very basic health checks that don´t reveal much about a person´s state of health. Even worse, X­rays exposes the body to harmful radiation. The damaging effects of x­rays are cumulative, which means that the more x­rays a person is exposed to, the greater the damage to their organs. X­rays are known to cause many chronic diseases especially many kinds of cancers. Medical studies published recently, show that mammograms (breast x­rays) cause about 20% of all breast cancers. CT scans are like X­rays on steroids. CT scans take multiple pictures of a section of the body, and in the process exposes it to thou­ sands of times more radiation than X­rays. Many studies have suggested that the rampant use of cheap CT scans is one of the leading causes of cancer. MRIs are relatively safe and should be the preferred choice for imaging scans. But because MRI’s are expensive, they are not usually recommended to patients in public hospitals. ECG’s and EEG’s are also safe and effective diagnostic technologies because they measure the frequencies or vibrations coming from the body. The diagnostic scan carried out at MedB clinic is one of the most advanced and comprehensive scans available anywhere today. Unlike other diagnostic imaging technologies such as MRIs that is subject to human error during result analysis, this technology uses advanced computerized analysis and calculations to make a diagnosis through the recordings of electromagnetic energies emanating from the body. This leads to an accuracy of 96%. Among other checks, the scan also includes, blood tests, microbiology analysis for bacteria, viruses, food allergies, toxins check, chromosome analysis and many more.

To book a full body scan or to get more informa­ tion, call 965071745 or visit : www.medb.es

32

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 This weekend’s New Moon in Sagittarius helps you stand back and see your situation and options in a more detached, realistic way. You are ideally placed to bring about important changes that will give you more freedom, so work out where you want to go from here and let no one tell you how to live your life this time round.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 A conversation with a friend midweek could revolutionise your outlook on a sit­ uation that preoccupies you. It may be up to you to make the opening move, so do not be afraid to show your hand. An unex­ pected piece of news could also put you in a strong position. It seems that more than you imagine could now be at stake.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 This weekend’s New Moon falls in your chart’s zone of one­to­one relationships and long­term friendships. It is due to usher in a positive new era in your private life, so do not look for problems where there are none or make a premature com­ mitment that you may regret. Make extra time for someone from your past later in the week.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You can reach a better understanding with a loved one if you talk your situation through this week. Many things could change if you are open and direct, so do not hesitate to let down your defences and express your deep feelings. If you streamline your routine, you can also give yourself more freedom to pur­ sue a very personal goal.

Friday 28th November 2014

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Ignore pressure to fit in with someone’s plans – follow your own star this week.

With both the New Moon and romantic, pleasure­loving Venus in your chart’s zone of adventure, new horizons beckon.

If you confront a loved one’s doubts, you can clear the air and reach a more open understanding with them, which will afford you extra space.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 The planetary focus shifts to your home life this week. With sympathetic, persua­ sive Venus on your side, you can over­ come resistance to your plans from someone close. If you are diplomatic, you can achieve a great deal more than that, so take a subtle, roundabout approach.

You could also find out something unex­ pected later in the week.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Making a friend or colleague see life from your angle should be your top priority this week. With your ruler, Venus, in your chart’s zone of communication, you have extra powers of persuasion, so do not let an opportunity to bring about some kind of breakthrough pass you by. Important changes are on the horizon, so be flexi­ ble about the future now.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 A commitment you have made in recent weeks could give you food for thought or make you wonder if you should renege on the agreement. Do not change direction now. If you relax and let life take its course, events will turn out in your favour. You could also find that someone is prepared to come halfway to meet you. Financial tensions ease midweek.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 The focus is on adventure, creativity and breaking new ground. With the Sun in Sagittarius in weeks to come, it is time to step out of the shadows and press home your new advantage. Do not let uncertain­ ty about your long­term goals, or well­ meant advice, make you miss opportuni­ ties for growth.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 The New Moon in your chart’s most psy­ chic zone gives you extra insight into subtle but far­reaching changes in a close alliance this weekend. A recent commitment that may preoccupy you now is due to usher in a new era, so let go of doubts and focus on the future, not the past. Domestic tensions ease later in the week.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 A more easy­going phase begins this week, when the Sun is due to enter your chart’s zone of social life and friendship. If you take the line of least resistance and relax, you could also start to see your career options from a new angle. The posi­ tion you are in is a lot stronger than you think, so postpone decisions until after next weekend.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 This is a time of new beginnings, so let go of ideas you have outgrown and concen­ trate on what you can achieve, long­term.

Being confident about how much you have to offer is the key to success in months to come, so aim high and put more faith in your ability. Your financial situation takes an upward turn from Thursday.

Friday 28th November 2014

33

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Ivan wanted to know how to play DVD’s bought ADVICE: Ayliff wanted to know how to get sound working from online applications like BBC Radio in the US here.

Q

Hi there, I hope you can help. My friend has some DVDs that have been made for the American market. Is there any way we can get these converted over to play on his DVD player? Thanks Ivan

Hola Richard, I have one problem and that is sound. I can play my iTunes stuff, so speakers are con­ nected o.k. but am unable to access BBC Radio, by that I mean I con­ nect and press listen and there is no sound.

Any ideas on the subject? Please let me know your thoughts. Regards Ayliff

Q A

Hi Ayliff, most of these services use Adobe Flash Player, you can download it free from www.adobe.com, once you have downloaded it try the service again and see if it’s any better.

ADVICE: Roger wanted to know how to use space on one drive to increase space on another.

A

Hi Ivan, all commercially produced DVD’s are region coded to enable playback only in the relevant licenced region, in Europe we have the region code of 2 and the US has the region code of 1. Only DVD’s that match the region code of your DVD player can be played in that device and, of course, all of the DVD players sold in Europe will be encoded to region 2 and not 1 – meaning that you and your friend will prob­ ably not be able to play the DVD’s. Computers and some DVD players will allow you to change the region of the player 5 times before its fixed to the last region, you could do this to play your DVD’s once if you just wanted to watch them, or perhaps you might want to invest in a region free DVD player that will allow you to play any DVD from any region – these are easily found via the Internet.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Q

I own the above laptop which has a Hard Disk split into 2 drives, Windows (C) 74.5 GB and Data (D) 74.1 GB. Is it possible to elim­ inate Data (D) so that I have just Windows?

I have an External Hard Drive for backup.

Roger

A

A: Hi Roger, firstly you should be very aware that making changes to any of your disk partitions can have disastrous effects to your computer and you should ensure that you have a full and test­ ed (and double tested) backup of your data before you start to do any work on these drives.

This is not the sort of thing that most people get involved with and if you are at all unsure then its best to get a professional in to do it for you.

But…seeing as you asked, there is a way that you can “merge” these partitions together in Windows 7, but rather than using the term “merge” what I am going to explain is how you can delete one partition and extend the other. What you should do is…

1.

Firstly, after you have backed everything up is to use Windows Disk Management (Right­click Computer > Manage > Storage > Disk Management) to delete your “D” Drive this will change the partition type to “unallocated”.

2.

Now you should be able to right click the “C” drive and choose “Extend Volume” to make the “C” drive larger. …that should enable you to do what you want.

Other readers should be aware that with earlier versions of Windows like Windows XP this was not possible without specialist software.

34

Friday 28th November 2014

THE BEST WAY TO GET RID OF SMELLS IN YOUR CAR

Cars might have changed beyond all recognition in the last few decades, but there’s one thing that’s always been the bane of a car owner: smells.

You know what it’s like. You spend hours washing, polish­ ing and vacuuming your car to keep it in nice condition, and then suddenly, on your way home from the shops, a carton of juice leaks, or worse, a bottle of milk.

Or perhaps you’ve spent the last few years loading your dog into the back of the car, and one day a friend or family

member comments that it’s all gone a bit whiffy in there.

And at that moment, you think that no matter how hard you scrub, that smell will always be there.

Well, don't despair. If your car's interior pongs a bit, we’ve got the solution. We asked our readers to send in their top tips for clearing out the worst car smells, and we’ve put them together with some tips of our own so that you can use them to banish even the most nauseating of niffs.

HOME REMEDIES Often, you can use things you might find around the house to help remove smells without paying for anything more.

Lynette Shipman said that bicarbonate of soda is her top tip. “Sprinkle it over the carpet and seats, leave it for a short time, and then brush and vacuum the inside. You can also leave a container with it in the well of the car and change as and when it’s needed,” she told us.

David Butcher agreed. “The first time I needed to use it was when I had to do an emergency stop, only to see two bottles of milk take off like rockets from the front passenger's seat and land in the footwell. By the following day, the smell was terrible. I tried all sorts until a friend told me to mix a strong solution of bicarbonate of soda and soak the mats. It worked quickly and well, and took very little effort to remove the slightly stale smell of the bicarb.

David continued: “The second time was recently when I left a bag of frozen squid fishing bait in the boot.” “It thawed, and the juice ran out. Terrible! But the bicarbonate solution killed the smell again.”

John Shipway, however, reckoned that charcoal is the best way of removing a smell. “A previously owned Jaguar smelt strongly of cigarettes,” he said. “But a small bucket of ordinary barbecue charcoal, placed behind the passenger seat, removed it within a few days.”

Meanwhile, Mike Thomas said that mothball crystals did the trick for him. “Many years ago I bought a lovely used MGB GT, which smelled awfully of ciga­ rettes,” he told us. “My mum

gave me a small jar of mothball crystals, which I left open in the side pocket, and the pong soon went.”

Other top tips we’ve heard include leaving a tub of vinegar in the footwell of your car overnight, or diluting the vinegar with water and spraying it around in the car. If the smell has been caused by a spillage, you can also try scrubbing the affected upholstery with a washing up liquid solution, though make sure you test for colour­fastness first.

PURPOSE­BOUGHT CHEMICALS If the home­brew remedies aren’t working for you, you can always try buying some powerful chemicals from a shop to try and shift that stink.

A popular option is to use a household fabric freshening spray. These are available from most supermarkets, and work just as well in a car. You simply spray them generously over seats, carpet and headlining – in fact, any fabric part of the interior that you can see – and leave them to dry. You can always pair them with a household air freshener for even more odour­clearing oomph.

You might also want to consider a product that removes odours from cars, known as an odour fogger or odour bomb.

This works by filling the car with an odour­neutralising vapour; you set it off, close all the doors, and leave it for a couple of minutes to do its work.

Norman Silk found that this worked to good effect. “I bought a used car that, initially, was OK, but stank of fags after about three weeks,” he said. “Several ‘remedies’ were attempted without success. But the odour fogger that I imported from America worked brillliantly, even if I did have to use more of it than the instructions suggested.”

PREVENTATIVE MEASURES Of course, several of our readers pointed out that the best thing to do was to take some preventative measures in order to help prevent smells from being a problem in the first place.

William Hoof Roberts said: “I have an eight­year­old Mercedes estate, with the light cloth interior. So I have a plastic tray from eBay for the boot and spare blankets as required for the kids. When I get another dog, I will be look­ ing at plastic lining for the seats.”

Other readers pointed out that several manufacturers offer protective chemical coat­ ings for the cars’ upholstery, which might not necessarily help with the smell, but could prevent stains and spillages from taking hold, making them easier to remove later on.

Meanwhile, Sue Norman added: “I find that removing the elderly, windy Labrador solves the problem immedi­ ately!”

CARS R US IS A FAMILY RUN BUSINESS WHICH HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY RUNNING HERE IN SPAIN FOR 13 YEARS They are located along the “Lemon Tree Road” near Guardamar. Keith who has been in the car industry his whole life is passionate about the motor trade. He runs the garage along­ side his parents Yvonne and Tim. One of Keith’s hobbies is collecting classic cars. Presently his collection includes Ford Sierra Cosworth, Raliant Scimitar 3ltr GTE, Triumph Stag, Triumph TR7, Renault Rodas and “Canadian” GM Envoy.

As clients enter the forecourt they are welcomed with a classic tractor that Keith has restored. Anything and everything is for sale!

Keith is proud of his achievements and successes through the “hard times” with so many other companies ceasing to trade, Cars R Us has grown from strength to strength. He has a large amount of regular clients and that is only due to his professionalism, dedication to the finer points and excellent service. Whether they are purchasing vehicles or selling them, Keith will always offer the Cars R Us service.

Their stock of cars are in immaculate condition, they valet them themselves, any repairs are carried out with their on­site painter and mechanic. All cars are valeted on arrival, washed once a week and valeted when sold. All prices include ITV, debt checks and trans­ fers in one day.

Clients can view any of the stock Monday – Friday 10.00am to 5:00pm and Saturday 10:00am to 2:00pm. The website is updated on a weekly basis and all stock can be viewed online at www.carsus.es They also have a Facebook page, just searh for Cars R Us. For more information or enquiries contact Keith on 699 805 995, Whatsapp or email info@carsrus.es

ALL CARS WANTED FOR CASH!

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Friday 28th November 2014

Property

thediscountcard.es

Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

36

Friday 28th November 2014

SAVE OUR CHOCOLATE!

Chocoholics everywhere have a duty to help preserve the world’s dwindling supply of cocoa. Leading chocolatiers offer their advice...

Stockpile the Twirls and prep the crates of Snickers for doomsday: we are running out of chocolate. Experts are painting a bleak picture of a global chocolate short­ age by 2020. Sure, some might say this is due to serious economic and geopolitical reasons – climate change, rising demand in Brazil and China, the spectre of Ebola spreading to west African cocoa­growing nations such as Ivory Coast and Ghana.

We know the real reason. It’s the fault of posh choc. In the last 10 to 15 years, we have gone from buying a foil­ wrapped bar from the newsagents to an unprecedented age of cocoa decadence – demanding a minimum of 70% cocoa solids, sprinkling dark choc into stews like over­enthusiastic waiters with a pepper grinder, and even feasting at choco­ late restaurants, such as Hotel Chocolat’s outposts in London and Leeds. We are now a nation of chocolate nerds, waxing on about the latest bean­to­bar start­up.

With the shortage, is it time to dial back on this gourmet choc free­for­all, so when the bad times come, there’s enough cocoa left for Cadbury’s to eke out a few Dairy Milks?

Willie Harcourt­Cooze is the man who got us into shaving cacao into chilli, and cooking Mexican mole. Did he realise he was starting a craze which would end with dishes such as “mac and cheese in a cacao nib pas­ try” on menus? “I think more people are exper­ imenting with it, but it shouldn’t be used en masse”, he says. “I haven’t noticed” he answers diplo­

matically when asked if chocolate is now being overused as an ingredient.

But far more than the shavings we are adding to savoury dishes, it is our insatiable appetite for posh choc that is using up so much cocoa. If we had just stuck to Lion Bars and Wispas, with their (*cough*) considerably lower percentages of cocoa, would we be in this mess? “The worry would be if everyone wakes up and demands good­quality chocolate.

There’d be a famine,” says Harcourt­Cooze. “There is an element that we’ve gone too far one way [towards dark chocolate],” says chocolatier Paul A Young. “Lots of chefs batted around ‘70%’ as a gold standard and everyone forgot about milk and white, but that’s completely rubbish – there are amazing chocolates of all kinds.”

Chocolate lovers everywhere have a vested interested in preserving what’s left – even if it means making like the Buckets in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and pooling our pennies for the precious taste of one small bar when prices shoot through the roof.

We asked chocolatiers to help create a “code of conduct” for responsible choco­ late eating in the event of a shortage … because we’re all in this together, chocolate chompers … So how best should we use what’s left?

THE CHOCOLATE­ LOVER’S CODE OF CON­ DUCT: HOW BEST TO USE WHAT’S LEFT IT’S A TREAT, NOT A FOOD GROUP Step away from the three­for­two grab bags.

“Rediscover the specialness of chocolate and stop taking it for granted,” says

chocolatier Chantal Coady of Rococo. “Less is more, so have one really wonderful chocolate rather than a big box of something disgusting”. “Products will get smaller,” says Young. “Enjoy it and don’t eat it in two seconds.”

SWITCH TO CAROB (EVEN IF IT DOESN’T TASTE VERY NICE) Carob is a chocolate substitute made from the pods of the carob tree – and it’s been languishing in a health­food shop near you for years. “Is carob an alternative?” muses Young.

“If it was used as an ingredient, in a cupcake or a pain au chocolat, we could accept it”.

RATION CHOCOLATE IN CAKES AND OTHER DISHES Does that triple chocolate cake you’re making need the choc buttercream, the dark chocolate ganache and the white chocolate curls? Certainly when it comes to bought prod­ ucts, Young thinks “there’ll be a change to the amount of chocolate you get in things like cakes and flavoured milks”.

“Revere chocolate more. Cut out all the other stuff,” says Coady.

BE PREPARED TO PAY MORE. A LOT MORE “A Dairy Milk will be a luxury item – we’ll have to save up!” speculates Young. That would be bad news for consumers, but there is an upside to the looming shortage – it could finally spell good news for cocoa growers, many of whom receive a “paltry amount” for their product, says Harcourt­ Cooze: “If a shortage meant cocoa farmers got high prices, it would make me smile.”

STOP ABUSING CHOCOLATE Yes, we’re looking at you, ChocoChicken – the LA restau­ rant that serves chocolate fried chicken with chocolate ketchup and white choc­fried potatoes. Other offenders we have spotted include white chocolate sauces for meat dish­ es (boak) and Scotch eggs with a cacao nib crust.

Friday 28th November 2014

NIGEL SLATER’S CHICKEN WINGS WITH BARLEY RECIPE

THE RECIPE Season eight large chicken wings and brown them in a little oil in a shallow pan. Transfer the wings to a deeper, heavy pan. Pour a litre of chicken stock into the shallow pan, bring to the boil, stirring to dissolve any crusty bits from the pan, then tip into the deeper pan with the chicken wings.

Chop four or five short, thin leeks into pieces the length of a wine cork, then add them to the chicken, tip in 150g pearl barley and return to the boil. Lower the heat and simmer for 20 minutes or until the bar­ ley is tender.

In the oil in the original shallow pan, warm a little oil and butter then add two flattened cloves of smoked garlic. Add two large, flat field mushrooms. Spoon the butter and oil over the mushrooms then cover with a lid. Lower the heat and continue cooking for a good 10­15 min­ utes, turning once, until tender and soft.

Add a couple of tablespoons of chopped parsley and one of tar­ ragon to the barley and correct the seasoning. Serve the leeks and barley with the mushrooms. Serves 2.

THE TRICK

37

Basting the large, wide field mushrooms as they cook will keep them particularly succulent. I used thin young leeks, so if you have the thick­ er winter ones, then slice them in half.

THE TWIST Use puffed spelt instead of the barley. It will take about 20­25 min­ utes to cook. On a cold day, add a splash of dry sherry or white ver­ mouth to the chicken stock. As with many soups, leek and barley broth is one of those dishes that tastes even better when reheated. Make twice the amount and save some for tomorrow.

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Friday 28th November 2014

AIRLINES AND THE WEB SHAPE WHERE WE BUY

Improved air access and cheaper fares combined with the convenience of the inter­ net have changed how and where people buy overseas property today, according to a recent survey.

Recent survey evidence shows that 50.6 per cent of people buying abroad want their new property to be within an hour of an air­ port, with 27.2 per cent happy to be within two hours of a flight home.

“There’s little doubt that the increased choice and frequency of flights between regional airports both in the UK and popular European destinations means that over­ seas homeowners now expect short trans­ fer times and this will influence where they look for property,” said Richard Way, Editor at the Overseas Guides Company.

“The choice of flights in and out of region­ al airports is staggering these days, it’s just a case of keeping up to speed with frequen­ cy and seasonality of services.

“Take Alicante on Spain’s Costa Blanca, for example. These days you can fly there from Belfast, Birmingham, Blackpool, Bournemouth, Bristol, Cardiff, Doncaster­ Sheffield, East Midlands, Edinburgh, Exeter, Gatwick, Glasgow, Glasgow­ Prestwick, Heathrow, Leeds, Liverpool, Luton, Manchester, Newcastle, Southampton, Southend and Stansted.”

Is it any coincidence that the Costa Blanca is the top spot for our property hunters right now?

The survey, which included responses from 1,255 overseas property­buyers,

showed that for 17.9 per cent of people, transfer time isn’t important – these are like­ ly to be people looking to emigrate.

While the internet has made booking flights easier, as well as cheaper – especial­ ly for overseas homeowners who are organ­ ised enough to book a series of discounted flights in advance – it has also changed the way people find their overseas home.

OGC’s survey showed that these days all­inclusive inspection trips are out of favour, with only seven per cent of respon­ dents saying they would sign up for a view­ ing trip when their time is organised entirely by a single agent or developer.

Conversely, nearly half (49 per cent) of respondents said their preferred way to search for property was to arrange to view a selection of properties with a number of agents in their chosen destination, and then be free to arrange their own travel and hotel.

“It’s typical for buyers to find a selection of properties on the internet, often with two or three different agents operating in one area, organise viewings for each and then make their own way out to Spain, France or wher­ ever they are buying,” added Richard Way. “And most will continue their on­line search via their iPhone or a laptop while they’re abroad, giving them flexibility to alter their itinerary that difficult to achieve on an organised viewing trip. Many don’t find what they are looking for in their first visit but warm to one particular agent, who later sources the right property for them.”

Friday 28th November 2014

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Friday 28th November 2014

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or direc­ tions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf­ spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoy­ ance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certi­ fied healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcen­ trecostablana@gmail.com

INSURANCE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for

a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL MEDIA needs self­ employed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30­40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with home­ work, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provid­ ed, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time car­ pet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer fac­ ing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information BUSY HAIR & BEAUTY

CAR HIRE

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

SALON IN THE PLAYA FLA­ MENCA AREA REQUIRES A PART­TIME FULLY QUALIFED BEAUTICIAN TO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY & PROFESSIONAL TEAM. TEL: 648111779 FOR DETAILS. Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

POOL TABLES

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

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SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

CARPENTER

GARDENER

CLEANERS

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Friday 28th November 2014

CAR BREAKERS

DRAINAGE

REMOVALS

PETS

POOLS

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

SURVEYOR

PLUMBERS

VAN HIRE

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Friday 28th November 2014

BY GEORGE, HE’S GOING!

European Tour chief exec­ utive George O'Grady is stepping down after 10 years, saying it was a good time to leave after another overwhelming Ryder Cup success and enough "green shoots of recovery" across the tour O'Grady asked the board to start looking for a suc­ cessor, the tour said Wednesday in a state­ ment. It was not clear when he officially stepped down. O'Grady has agreed to stay on until the European Tour board finds a replacement, and then sufficient time for his successor to make a smooth transition.

O'Grady, who has been with

returns to the Olympics in 2016. O'Grady became only the third chief executive of the tour in January 2005, fol­ lowing 30 years of Ken Schofield and John Jacobs, who oversaw the tour's formative years from 1971­ 74.It has not always been smooth sailing.

A year after O'Grady was on the job, PGA Tour commis­ sioner Tim Finchem announced The Players Championship would move from March to May, right about the time European events returned to the conti­ nent. The U.S. tour also launched the FedEx Cup, a $35 million bonus pool in August and September

the tour in some capacity for more than 40 years, will become president of inter­ national relations, in which he will represent the European Tour when golf

which became even more attractive to European­born players.

With more players heading for America, the European Tour bumped up the required number of events

for its members from 11 to 13 to beef up support. A crit­ ical point was in 2006 at La Costa for the Match Play Championship, where O'Grady assembled two dozen European players in the field for a meeting to allow them to share ideas on keeping the European circuit strong. He said the central message that night was that the "European Tour is worth fighting for." A few years later, O'Grady oversaw the new Race to Dubai that pro­ vided a year­end bonus to European players.

GENERAL SPORT EDITION And with the economy strug­ gling in

Europe, the tour adjusted its schedule to become the most global tour in golf. It was the first to tap heavily into the Asia markets – par­ ticularly China ­­ and holds events in the Middle East, along with South Africa.

These are changing and challenging times for the European Tour and its next chief executive. It is still adjusting to the loss of key sponsors and tournaments as a result of the economic downturn of a few years ago, while the growing power and lure of the United States and Asia has won over many of the world's top

players. It means George O'Grady's successor will have his or her work cut out when the 65­year­old even­ tually steps down in the coming months.

O'Grady has been in charge of the European Tour during the most challenging spell in the organisation's history.

He took over from Ken Schofield in 2005 when it was still enjoying a boom period. Global economies were strong and the circuit was growing at a rapid rate, but this all changed in the autumn of 2008. As the ink was drying on the contract, O'Grady had negotiated to make the Race to Dubai the circuit's focal point, the full effects of the global banking crisis started to become apparent.

Amid the economic melt­ down, traditional European markets, key to the Tour's continental strategy, could no longer afford the millions needed to stage big­time golf. Tournaments were lost in the heartland territories of Spain and the United Kingdom, while sponsors could rarely be found out­ side the ever expanding Asian market. Dubai was also hit hard and it was O'Grady's tenacity that kept alive the new concept of the 'race'.

This process played to his strongest quality, a charisma that could win over royalty, politicians and business leaders. Pressure was also being exerted from the United States, though. Tim Finchem's PGA Tour intro­ duced the FedEx Cup, which radically altered the golfing calendar. The post PGA Championship in late August and September sud­ denly became all about the chase for a $10m (£6.25m) jackpot. It made total sense for Europe's top stars to set up home in the US, but this did little to help their home Tour.

O'Grady and his 155­strong

Wentworth­based organisa­ tion have done remarkably well to sustain the current calendar. However, there has been a feeling among many rank and file golfers that the Tour should be stronger. This is why busi­ nessman David Williams was appointed to succeed former player Neil Coles as the Tour's chairman at the end of last year. This was a significant move because it turned a ceremonial position into a corporate role.

Williams is an advocate of change and O'Grady's forth­ coming departure is sympto­ matic of that.

The Tour is now embarking on a new phase in its devel­ opment and that is why George O’Grady has con­ sidered that it is the right time to ask the nominations committee to find his suc­ cessor. O'Grady, appointed CBE (Commander of the British Empire) for services to sport in the 2010 Queen's Birthday Honours, played a massive role in the huge expansion of the Tour. The Singapore­born Englishman has been with them for 40 years and was the perfect foil as Schofield's second in command for many years.

He was also instrumental in ensuring golf's return to the Olympics in 2016.

O'Grady was expected to remain as chief executive until the Rio Games but in recent months it became apparent he would leave sooner. Lately, he has been

a more detached figure, shunning the limelight after being caught up in last year's Sergio Garcia "fried chicken" controversy.

O'Grady made a mess of trying to defuse the row by saying that Garcia had "coloured friends" in a televi­ sion interview. It was a bad but uncharacteristic error.

When he steps aside that sorry episode cannot be for­ gotten but should not deflect from a career of high achievement for golf in Europe. It will be fascinating to see who the Tour appoints as his successor.

O'Grady was only the third man to lead the organisation after Schofield and John Jacobs, and over the years, the natural inclination of the Wentworth set­up has been to promote from within.

Were that to be the case, chief operating officer Keith Waters, already responsible for the main schedule, would be favourite for the post. But Guy Kinnings, IMG's head of global golf, is likely to attract the interest of the nominations committee, too. O'Grady will remain in his post until a successor is found. Whoever takes over will be part of a new wave of golf administrators, with Peter Dawson stepping down as boss at the R&A, to be replaced by Martin Slumbers in September next year. Let’s hope whoever takes over will get European Tour Golf back here to main­ land Spain.

KNOW YOUR RULES TITTER ON THE TEE

QUESTION

A: No penalty is incurred.

Some jokes aimed for our female readers:­ One day a housework­challenged husband came home from his regular weekend of golf and decided to wash his favourite golf shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

B: The player incurs a two­stroke penalty and the stroke counts in the player's score.

'It depends,' she replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' Royal St Andrews Golf Club !'

In stroke play, a player swings at and misses a wrong ball.

What is the ruling?

C: The player incurs a two­stroke penalty; however, the actu­ al missed stroke is disregarded

ANSWER C: Since the player made a stroke with a wrong ball, he lost the hole in match play (Rule 15­3a) or incurred a two­stroke penalty in stroke play (Rule 15­3b).

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men. ­­­­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­ Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ­­­­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­­­­­­­ ­­­ Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

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Friday 28th November 2014

BASEL BRUSHED ASIDE RECORD BREAKER FC BASEL 0

REAL MADRID 1

APOEL NICOSIA 0

BARCELONA 4

Cristiano Ronaldo scored for the 11th consecutive away Champions League game to earn Group B winners Real Madrid victory in Basel on Wednesday. The forward struck early on as Real maintained their 100% start in Europe. Ronaldo has now scored 71 Champions League goals, moving to within three of record­holder Lionel Messi. The winning goal came as Ronaldo converted Karim Benzema's cross in the 35th minute.

Lionel Messi fresh from becoming La Liga’s top scorer at the weekend(details below) com­ pleted a great week by becoming the Champions League's all­time top scorer with a hat­trick against Apoel Nicosia. Messi went into Tuesday night’s Group F game in Cyprus level on 71 goals with former Real Madrid forward Raul. Luis Suarez had already opened the scoring with his first goal for the club when Messi diverted Rafinha's 38th­minute shot past the keep­ er. Messi netted his second in the 58th­minute with a low right­foot finish before tapping home from close range for the celebrations (pictured) to start.

REAL EASY

MARVELLOUS MESSI

Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice as Real Madrid strolled to an easy win over promoted Eibar last Saturday. James Rodriguez gave Real a lead which was added to just before half­time

by Ronaldo. Karim Benzema made it 3­0 with 20 minutes left and Ronaldo's penalty rounded off a comfortable success and took him to 25 goals for the season, 20 in La Liga. The leaders are away again, this time to Malaga this Saturday evening.

Lionel Messi scored his first hat­trick of the season to become the Primera Division's all­time top scorer by firing Barcelona to a resounding Saturday win at home to Sevilla. The Argentinian's treble took him past former Athletic Bilbao forward Telmo Zarra's mark of 251 goals and on to 253. They have come in just 289 games. The player was then given a guard of honour by his team­mates at the end and a celebratory video was shown on the Nou Camp's big screens. Barca keep the pressure up on Real Madrid, being two points off the leaders, and are away to Valencia this Sunday night.

EIBAR 0

BARCELONA 5

REAL MADRID 4

SEVILLA 1

SEE SAW DRAW ELCHE 2

Elche were left disappointed against the league’s bottom side but it could have been much worse, as the winless Andalucian side threw away a two­goal lead and the poten­ tial of an embarrassing defeat for Fran Escriba’s side.

The visitors had made a promising start to Sunday night’s game but Elche were handed the perfect opportunity after six minutes to take the lead when Cristian Herrera(pic­ tured)was felled by Aleksandr Pantic in the area. However, Elche's top scorer Jonathas could not take advantage, hitting his spot­kick squarely down the middle and Juan Carlos guessed correctly to save the shot with his legs.

Elche's frustration was then compounded seven minutes later when Cordoba took the lead. Borja Garcia found space in the middle of the Elche half and split the host defence's high line to release Fidel, who had enough time to bring the ball on to his favoured left foot and shoot low beyond Tyton. Jonathas came close to spectacularly compensating for his missed penalty before the break. The Brazilian received a high ball 30 yards out and decided to go for goal, his shot striking the bottom of the crossbar and

CORDOBA 2

bouncing back just on the wrong side of the goal line.

Cartabia then looked to have sealed victory for Cordoba. 15 minutes into the second half. The Argentinian evaded two defenders on the right hand side of the box, then cut inside to play a one­two with Garcia and buried the ball in the far corner with a splendid finish. But just a few minutes later Lomban cut the visitors' advantage to a single goal by smashing the ball into the net from 12 yards after Faycal Fajr had been fouled by Daniel Pinillos.

Elche then began to pepper Cordoba's box and got the goal they craved in the 75th minute, Jonathas(pictured celebrating)sending a cross from the left crashing into the top corner. Commenting afterwards, Elche manager, Fran Escriba, said that despite a poor start to the match, he felt his team did enough to have picked up three points. The result leaves Elche in the relegation area and they’re away tonight (Friday) at Real Sociedad under their new boss, David Moyes. The Ilicitanos then go to Valladolid on Tuesday evening for their Copa del Rey encounter.

46

Friday 28th November 2014

SPORTS FIXTURES

FERRAN FINDS FAVOUR CD TORREVIEJA 1

PATERNA 0

Saturday 29 November 13:45 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 18:30

West Bromwich Albion v. Arsenal Burnley v. Aston Villa Liverpool v. Stoke City Manchester United v. Hull City Queens Park Rangers v. Leicester City Swansea City v. Crystal Palace West Ham United v. Newcastle United Sunderland v. Chelsea

Sunday 30 November 14:30 Southampton v. Manchester 17:00 Tottenham Hotspur v. Everton

Tuesday 2 December 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45 21:00 21:00

Burnley v. Newcastle United Leicester City v. Liverpool Manchester United v. Stoke City Swansea City v. Queens Park Rangers Crystal Palace v. Aston Villa West Bromwich Albion v. West Ham United

Wednesday 3 December 20:45 20:45 20:45 20:45

Arsenal v. Southampton Chelsea v. Tottenham Hotspur Everton v. Hull City Sunderland v. Manchester City

Saturday 29 November 13:15 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Charlton Athletic v. Ipswich Town Birmingham City v. Nottingham Forest Bolton Wanderers v. Huddersfield Town Bournemouth v. Millwall Brentford v. Wolverhampton Wanderers Brighton and Hove Albion v. Fulham Leeds United v. Derby County Middlesbrough v. Blackburn Rovers Norwich City v. Reading Rotherham United v. Blackpool Sheffield Wednesday v. Wigan Athletic Watford v. Cardiff City

Torrevieja got a much needed win at the Nelson Mandela stadium last Sunday, which has taken them to just two points off the top of an extremely crowded and competitive league.

The one goal came from Ferran(pictured being tackeld), who made his home debut and endeared himself to fans with a strike in the 20th minute. In his two previous appearances as a substitute at Cullera and Benigamin, Ferran had looked sharp and incisive, with manager Galiana opting to give him his first start in a decision that paid off handsomely.

Ferran and Cesar proved too fast and direct for a tough, even overly physical Paterna outfit, whose away form has been excellent. Torry stopped them in their tracks, making them look ordinary and lacking in any imaginative attacking ideas.

Torrevieja spurned far too many chances again. Cesar almost netted with a deft glancing header from eight yards out(pictured), but his touch was too gentle and it passed the post with the goal gaping. Rampaging runs down both wings tore the Paterna defence apart, but there was no final touch that put the match beyond the reaches of the visitors. At the other end, Alexis and Eddy were unruffled with Vicente and Berna completing their defensive duties readily, then bomb­ ing forward to create attacking options.

Berna came in for some heavy tackling on these forward runs and eventually had to limp off after 32 minutes to be replaced by Ruben. The home side continued to manage

Paterna incursions with composure, with Carrasco being his usual industrious self, always available to colleagues and ever able to deceive opponents and create chances. It was his pass to Ferran on the edge of the penalty box that led to the only goal of the match.

Ferran willingly accepted the ball, having made his way over from the right wing and then jockeyed to create space for himself. He picked out his spot but a lunging defender got a foot to it and the ball looped high into the air and over the head of Carlos in goal, dipping in under the bar to home fans' great delight. Ferran leapt into the delighted arms of his cap­ tain who held him aloft to enjoy the rapturous applause of the crowd.

By not putting their many chances away, Torry remained vulnerable throughout the second period, as Paterna became more desperate and aggressive. Steve replaced Carrasco and showed some good skill, receiving the ball, holding it up and skipping past defenders before passing successfully.

Torry had to defend strongly into injury time, Oscar forcing the ball over for a corner with great agility, then watching relieved as Selu headed over from close quarters. As the final whistle blew, a couple of Paterna fans invaded the pitch and abused the referee and players, with some argy bargy ensuing. Torrevieja now take on joint bottom club Jove away tomorrow (Saturday) with a 5.00pm kick off.

BATTLE AT BIGASTRO BIGASTRO 1

CD MONTESINOS 1

Wednesday 3 December 20:45 Celtic v. Partick Thistle

Friday 28 November 20:45 Real Sociedad v. Elche

Saturday 29 November 16:00 18:00 20:00 22:00

Getafe v. Athletic Club Espanyol v. Levante Málaga v. Real Madrid Celta de Vigo v. Eibar

Sunday 30 November 12:00 17:00 19:00 21:00

Atlético de Madrid v. Deportivo de La Coruña Sevilla v. Granada CF Córdoba v. Villarreal Valencia CF v. Barcelona

Monday 1 December 20:45 Almería v. Rayo Vallecano

Montesinos(pictured in their green away strip) got a well­ deserved away point in a cracking game, which started badly for them. With only three minutes on the watch, Yonhi was caught in possession and Bigastro capitalised with ease to take the lead much to the disgust of Monte manager Juanpe who vented his anger at his defender. Dimitry went close with a header on the quarter hour and Monte started to gain momentum with some good passing football but Bigastro are a big physical side and a great move saw them hit the post with Lopez well beaten. The visitors stuck to their task though and Carlos went close as did Macan.

The vocal travelling support of over fifty Monte fans were cer­ tainly entertained in the second half as both teams stepped up a gear. Monte striker Vaz replaced Yonhi and within two minutes

was downed by a disgraceful challenge that mysteriously only produced a yellow card. It was a grudging acknowledgement from Bigastro of the danger that Vaz posed and despite the Monte pressure, which included Orouker missing a golden chance, it appeared that the visitors would be going home empty handed.

Chances came for both sides, and Lopez was forced to make two quick quality saves to keep Monte in it, before they got their deserved leveller in the 75th minute. A great cross saw Vaz out­ leap his marker to head in the equaliser which was the cue for Bigastro to step up the pressure even more, but Lopez kept Monte in it with some great saves and it finished as a draw. This Sunday sees the battle of Montesinos with CD playing home town rivals TD Montesinos, with a 4.00pm kick off.

Friday 28th November 2014

47

IT’S ONLY WORDS

When’s all this current shock/horror about name­call­ ing going to end, then? We moved to Nottingham from sleepy ol’ Kent when I was nine. My southern accent clashed badly with the local East Midlands dialect at school and I was roundly abused and called names by my classmates for a while. When I complained to my parents my tough, totally unsympathetic father simply said: ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones – but names will never hurt me’. Later in the RAF, I played football with lads of most colours and nationalities in the same team, but as we were situated near Portsmouth as well being the only Air Force team in a Naval league, we were verbally abused regularly, known as ‘the Brylcreem Boys’­ and much worse ­ ‘Nancy Boys’ etc. But we were well­used to it, and could give as good as we got, verbally as well as physically. We had a number of Scots in our midst, and there was always plenty of Anglo/Scottish rivalry with highly­aggressive verbals going on both ways, especially when our nation­ al teams played each other. The point I am trying to make is that spoken abuse happens everywhere on a daily basis. It always has and always will, because peo­ ple are different – in accent, region, uniform, team, colour, country, race – whatever… People have always called each other names ­ and they always will.

Let’s look at nations, or ‘race’. All have their own idiosyn­ cracies. To begin at home, English people are traditionally regarded as stuck up, pompous, accused of being uncaring about other poorer countries ­ look at the British Empire and before that slavery. The Americans call us Limeys, and in the Antipodes we are traditionally known as ‘Poms’, usually cou­ pled with ‘whingeing’ in a derogatory manner. But you don’t go to war over name­calling , do you? It’s all getting out of hand today, like so many other things in these ridiculously PC days we live in. It seems you just can’t say anything anymore without someone taking serious offence. Someone told me once: It’s not what people say to you and about you. It’s your reaction to it that counts; i.e. if someone calls you a fat pig, then that is only their opinion – not fact – and you can deal with it that w a y,

and dismiss or ignore it.

In the latest OTT issue two men, good friends, sent each other by text some inter­male humour, about people they came into contact and worked with. Just like in the play­ ground, people’s personal attributes and derivations were mentioned, and not in a complimentary way – as two close friends would. Sorry, but we all do it, and anyone who says he or she hasn’t said something disrespectful about some­ body else is a liar – or in a nunnery or monastery.

Unfortunately for the friends, the details of the intensely per­ sonal texted phone information gets out, and lands the pair in big trouble – because, surprise, surprise, the people mentioned don’t like what the two men said about them. The highest profile one is sacked and is out of work for months – investigations still pending.

After a few months a decent, respected, law­ abiding man, a very senior citizen aged 77, a self­ made owner of another football club likes the sacked man and offers him a job. Shock/horror, this experienced, successful owner speaks out publicly about some of the well­known aspects that came to light. Jews are mentioned and their long, well­known association with money: surely not an unrecognised connection over the centuries? Then along with the Poms/Limeys theme he refers to a Far Eastern man as a ‘Chink’. Haven’t we all used that phrase?

I have, but I don’t consider myself a racist, far from it. That’s not derogatory; it’s merely describing a person, like a Pole ­ or even a Scot.

Hardly hanging offences, are those two instances? But this decent man is instantly castigated for saying it.

Immediately the FA is girding its highly­ sensitive loins to take the astounded man to task – who is now ready to resign, he is so upset. It’s all crazy overreaction, knee­jerk stuff. Let’s look at real violence.

‘Sticks and stones can break my bones’ – on the field footballers’ sticks and stones are their feet, k n e e s , elbows, fists and heads.

If these are used unfairly, in an aggres­ sive, violent way that can cause physical pain and injury – perhaps perma­ nently – then that is seri­ ous ­ much more serious than mere words, and it should be dealt with very firmly. Today’s TV and personal evidence can be taken into account. What goes on during a football match can usually be seen but

RUGBY ROUND UP

ITV Orihuela Vega Baja lost their first division match, 20­3 away to CUR Murcia last Saturday, but in the Cadete League, Orihuela pulled off a fine 28­26 victory(pictured in a line out) against the same club, before the seniors took to the field. Also in the Cadete League, the Torrevieja Tigers thrashed San Javier, 67­7 at the Nelson Mandela stadium.

Up to senior level, and in the second division, the Torrevieja Tigers almost got a great win away to Cartagena(pictured in a scrum), before the home side ran out 17­11 victors. Despite the Tigers trailing to an early try, they fought back with two penalty kicks to lead 6­5 at the interval. It was a tight affair in the second half, with the Tigers leading 11­10 with just five min­ utes left to play, before Cartagena’s pressure told with a converted try to finish what was an excellent encounter.

words are rarely heard. Incidentally you can, however, hear the supporters, and rarely is anything done about them and their collective foul language. Why not? Some of it is absolutely disgusting; the kind of thing the likes of David Beckham has had to put up with is appalling.

But let’s concentrate on cutting out the physical violence: the over­the­top tackles; the elbowing in the face; and the aggressive use of the head and hands in post­incident con­ frontations. Outlaw this yob mentali­ ty, in some cases the career­ threatening street violence, I say, with big fines and sus­ pensions that will hurt the club as well as the indi­ vidual. But also let’s grow up at the same time and stop being surprised when people just call each other names.

48

Friday 28th November 2014

WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!

One day in the eighties in our sales office in London, the boss Derek came walking along, and paused at an empty desk. ‘Where’s Paul Howard?’ he asked. ’He’s off, his wife’s having a baby’ came the reply. Derek winced visibly. ‘What is this modern fascination for being there when the baby is born?’ he asked, plainly baffled.

‘When my kids were being born, I wanted to be as far away as possi­ ble!’ Well times change, don’t they? After the 1 – 0 defeat by Newcastle, Quite Possibly Relegated boss Harry Redknapp bemoaned the absence of his swift striker Eduardo Vargas: ‘We missed his speed today; his wife was having a baby ­ and that’s fair enough’. I would hazard a guess that 67 year­old Harry is secretly in the Derek mould, but has to be ‘PC’ about it all in today’s world. But in the footballer managers’ book of ‘Excuses for Losing’ that has to be a modern classic… .especially if the Hoops end up relegated – again.

Manchester monopoly money men Man United played their ‘Get Out Of Jail’ card at the Emirates, where 60,000 souls saw the Red Devils’ 2­ 1 smash and grab raid over brittle Arsenal: that man Rooney scored again after OG had opened it up. But RVP is light­ weight these days, and where’s Falcao? Limping­off honours were even as United’s Luke Shaw went first, then Jack Wilshere, as usual his arm up screaming for the physio before he hits the deck. Childish Smokin’ Jack was lucky to still be there, Maroanne Fellaini’s forehead so high he couldn’t nut him, ‘Shere Power’ tucked under the Belgian’s chin and so didn’t get sent

John McGregor reports

off. Where’s all the brave goalies gone? Wojciech Szczesny wimped off, sorry, I meant limped off, but he was on the bench for Wednesday’s welcome win over Borussia Dortmund Mind you, Arsenal are light­ weight, one swing of the handbag and they’re off for a nappy change. The usual calls have started for Arsene’s head – biggest mouth? Oh yes, silly of me, Piers Morgan says it's time (again) for Wenger to leave the club: 'At what point do Arsenal fans wake up, smell the cappuccino and say “enough Arsene, you were magnificent, thank you, but please, we have got to have change”.’ Ironically Dortmund boss Jurgen Klopp is favourite to replace the Prem’s longest serv­ ing manager. Yawn, he won’t go…

‘Mentally and physically weak – no leadership – no ‘men’ in the side – no organisation – no confidence…’

Who said that, and talking about who ? No, it’s not Arsenal ­ it was Jamie Carragher talking about his own Liverpool team immediately after their 3 – 1 defeat by barnstorming comeback kids Crystal Palace. This after the Reds’ dream start, courtesy of the ex­ Southampton pair of Lallana and Lambert: the Palace hoodoo came back to haunt Liverpool, as their jubi­ lant, never­shut­up supporters willed their team to repeat their cruel ending of Liverpool’s title tilt last season. Shurrup youse (Scouse version of Silence of the Lambs), but isn’t Steven Gerrard getting past it?

No Henderson or Balotelli (he was watching the box­ ing, not with his team in London), beleaguered Brendan Rodgers looks a worried man, short of ideas…

Eyes down ­ 25: 38: 18: 15: 21: 23: 33:19. Bingo? Nah, those were the numbers on the back of Spurs’ shirts on Sunday, showing the ‘strength’ of the current side: whatever happened to numbers 2 to 11? Unhappy at

home, Spurs again weathered the storm away in Hull, who had several ex­Tottenhamites playing and the Lillywhites had the last laugh Hull. Only 1 – 0 down, where it could have been several more, goals from why­isn’t­he­there­permanently Citizen Kane, and another superb winner from cool, classy Christian Eriksen sealed the Humberside smash and grab raid.

Most would say Ramires’ toddler­like lashing­out reac­ tion and sending­off cost the Tigers the match, but Vertonghen’s pathetic over­acting (he’s got form, that one) did the trick, roundly condemned by MOTD pun­ dits. Question: Would the big Belgian then be a hero in the dressing room – or do real Prem pros condemn that continental style of pretending to be hurt to get your opponent in trouble? It’s not British behaviour, what?

So good they’re boring ­ result expected? Costa del Cesc catching West Brom in the Hazard warning lights? Whatever Chelsea did or didn’t do, relegated them to the fifth game featured on the BBC’s Match of the Day. Motormouth Mourinho mumbles like he’s on Mogadon…

Good Marks for referee Clattenberg, who allowed play to go on after a clear West Ham foul, enabling ever­ green club stalwart Russell Osman to score Everton’s winner in the 2 ­1 win over Carroll­boosted West Ham. That was rapturous Russ’s 400th Toffees’ game.

Super Sunday sees Southampton v Man City, then Tottenham Everton: bring it on… *P.S. Amazing Aguero did it again, somehow coming back to beat mighty Bayern Munich 3 ­2 with his superb hat­trick, City were without Toure, Fernandinho, Silva and Dzeko, amazingly the Blues might still make the knock­outs. Arsenal look through, but Liverpool must beat Basel.