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the Campo tradition on g in rry ca ’re we es jok w ne old e With the sam with lots of fun... e Jungle Drums... ...all tucked rather neatly inside Th
Come on in...and ’ave a laugh!
Bless ‘im...
you know you’re having a bad day when...
Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side. She had to. We’ve only got one chair. I was showing my wife this one. I said, ‘Look at this dear.’ I always call her dear. She’s got antlers growing out of the side of her head. I was woken up this morning by a tap on the door. I must remember to get the plumber to take it off. There have been times that I have known disappointment, even despair. The public never realised because I was laughing on the outside while I was crying on the inside. Very dangerous that - you could easily drown.
20 Zens...part one
At the Royal Command Performance 1964, Tommy walks on stage with a heater he says, ‘They told me to go out and warm the crowd up.’
1. Do not walk behind me,
A man walked into a bar. Ouch.........It was an iron bar.
for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
A woman told her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’ The doctor said, ‘It’s old age.’ The woman said, ‘I want a second opinion.’ The doctor says, ‘OK. You’re ugly as well.’
beside me for the path is
A man is trying to sell his dog. So he stops another man and says, ‘Wanna buy a dog? He’s very clever look at this.’ He throws a stick into the pond and says, ‘Fetch that, Rover.’ The dog gets up on his hind legs and walks across the water and gets the stick. ‘Thats no good to me mate,’ said the man. ‘He can’t swim.’
2. Sex is like air. It’s not
A man went to the doctor and said, ‘I need help urgently. I keep dreaming that women come into my bedroom and I keep pushing them away.’ The doctor said, ‘What do you want me to do?’And the man said, ‘Cut my arms off.’ A woman phoned her husband and said, ‘The carburettor is full of water.’ ‘Where’s the car?’ the man said. ‘In the river,’ she replied. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
narrow. In fact, just go away and leave me alone. that important unless you aren’t getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
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