REPENTANCE, PRAYER AND CHARITY

RABBINIC THOUGHT

RABBI YAAKOV GLASMAN

Mental illness has emerged as one of the most pressing issues of the 21st century. Only a few decades ago it was barely spoken about. For years, stigma and a lack of knowledge created social barriers to open discussion on this sensitive topic.

Fortunately, today it is very much on the agenda. Although we still have a long way to go, more and more people are sharing their stories. This is helping to reduce the historic shame that was associated with mental illness and is paving a better path for the next generation.

Still, this progress is not without its challenges. While knowledge and acceptance of mental illness have increased, so has its prevalence.

According to the World Health Organisation, mental health conditions are increasing worldwide. There was a 13 per cent jump in these conditions and substance use disorders across the globe between 2007 and 2017. The recent lockdowns, social isolation and constant media coverage of the COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated this reality.

So, the question becomes, what can we do about it? We all have a role to play.

Schools have implemented some excellent programs aimed at increasing young children's resilience and encouraging adolescents to identify mental health problems they may be experiencing and to ask for help.

Parents can take an active role in having open and honest conversations about mental health. Many Jewish families gather for Shabbat dinners, which offers an opportunity to explore these issues.

Rabbis and communal leaders can upskill through professional development courses. On a personal note, I see ensuring that I have the requisite skills to respond to mental health issues as critical. It was for that reason that two years ago I decided to pursue a Master’s Degree in Counselling at Monash University. I look forward to graduating next month. The course has taught me theory and evidenced-based counselling practices, building on the basic counselling and reflective listening skills I learned at the same university 15 years ago when I first became a rabbi.

Another initiative picking up momentum in some shules overseas relates to prayers for the sick. It is common practice for rabbis to recite a "Mi Shebeirach", or prayer for healing, while the Torah is on the Bimah. Congregants advise of the Hebrew names of family members and friends who are unwell, to be included in this special prayer. But most often these people are included because of physical illness. Many shules are now encouraging inclusion of all forms of illness, which includes mental ailments. Doing so normalises the conversation around mental health and sends a clear message to people suffering in silence that they are not alone.

We must also focus on the causes of increased mental health issues. One of the most common contributors today is social media. The American Academy of Pediatrics has warned of the alarmingly deleterious role that social media has on young people and adolescents. It's addictive, triggers feelings of sadness and creates jealousy by comparing users’ lives to others. Indeed, a study on cyberpsychology, behaviour and social networking found that taking breaks from Facebook increases happiness and wellbeing.

Many Jewish people do not use their phones over Shabbat. This can be very empowering. Even if keeping Shabbat fully proves too challenging, one can certainly keep parts of Shabbat, such as abstaining from social media. The therapeutic benefits are well worth it.

Another way of countering feelings of low self-worth, often caused by overuse of social media, is to acknowledge the Torah's unambiguous message that we are all indispensable to G-d's divine plan. It is the belief that, in the words of contemporary author and thinker Simon Jacobson, "your birth is G-d's way of saying you matter".

Looking after our mental health

Rabbis Velly Slavin (left) and Yaakov Glasman were the first two rabbis in the state appointed as chaplains to the Victorian Council of Churches’ Emergencies Ministry. The two rabbis provide assistance to the vulnerable in the form of counselling.

Repentance, prayer and charity

RABBI GABI KALTMANN ARK CENTRE

The Talmud writes that when King Ptolemy of Egypt commanded the Jewish sages to translate the Torah into Greek, it was like “a lion had been imprisoned in a cage”. Why was it considered such a sad day in Jewish history? Shouldn’t we have been happy that the Torah would now become accessible to all?

The reasons given for the melancholy of the sages had to do with the complexity of the Hebrew language. No translation, no matter how detailed, can accurately convey the intricacies of each Hebrew word and adequately convey its meaning. Certain ideas can get “lost in translation” and be misconstrued, thus losing their core Jewish interpretation. With Rosh Hashanah nearly upon us, a number of examples come to mind concerning the three central themes of the day: Teshuvah (Repentance), Tefillah (Prayer) and Tzedakah (Charity).

Teshuvah – Repentance

The Oxford English Dictionary defines repentance as “one feeling or expressing sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing or sin”.

However, per Judaic interpretation, this “translation” is far from the central idea of teshuvah.

In Hebrew, the word teshuvah is derived from the word “shuv”, which means “to return”. Repentance underlines the individual’s regret for their previous actions and their wish to move down a new path. Teshuva is not really repentance as we call it in English, but rather it can also be translated to mean “return.” That is, we perform teshuva in order to return to a purer state of spirituality.

This explanation indicates that no matter how broken we feel or how hard things seem, we have an everlasting connection with G-d and through Teshuvah we can strengthen and reaffirm that relationship.

Tefillah – Prayer

When one contemplates the idea of prayer in the general sense, one thinks of the act of requesting and petitioning G-d for something specific. In Judaism, this simplistic definition is not the true and sole significance of the act of tefillah.

Prayer is not simply reading off a shopping list of personal requests from G-d. Rather, we attempt to enhance our lives spiritually by connecting with a higher source. We can view tefillah not only as some sort of action to ask G-d for the things we want, but rather as a type of meditation, an escape from the monotony and confines of our physical lives. In this way, we remind ourselves of what really matters, of the family, friends and relationships we greatly cherish. Over the High Holidays try to create space for Tikkun Olam by repairing your world through acts of kindness. Through prayer we can commit to change, aiming to strengthen our resolve in a certain areas. We are the masters of our own choices and desires, and we get to choose what path we take in life.

Tzedakah – Charity

The idea of charity is synonymous with acts of compassion and generosity. While the translation of tzedakah elicits such associated ideas, the root of the word in Hebrew is “tzedek”, which translates to justice and law. This leads to the emphasis on us to give tzedakah, to literally spread righteousness, honesty and justice to all.

The fundamental differences between the English word charity and the Hebrew equivalent are that the act of tzedakah not only encourages us to be charitable because we are compassionate, but to give charity because it is the just thing to do.

Through giving tzedakah, we recognise that our wealth is a gift from G-d and the less fortunate and needy should have a shared part in our prosperity.

May our teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah be heard this Rosh Hashanah. Let us all be inscribed in the Book of Life for a happy and sweet New Year.

A bequest can make a world of difference Teaching students the skill of how to think and learn

AUSTRALIAN FRIENDS OF THE HEBREW UNIVERSITY

Join AUSTFHU’s fully sponsored Legacy Mission

Australian Friends of the Hebrew University (AUSTFHU) has facilitated 200 bequests to the university since its inception in 1926.

These have helped ensure Hebrew University is ranked in the top 100 internationally.

Bequests provide for the future of the university.

Seizing new opportunities relies upon income from bequests because regular funding channels are not enough.

Bequests allow for: • the creation of endowment funds to assist serving students; • the establishment of centres of excellence for research and study; and • the development of new buildings and wings to attract new students to the university’s six campuses.

Bequestors’ names are forever perpetuated and over the years they have come from virtually every corner of Australia.

Thanks to the generosity of a donor, AUSTFHU is now offering the chance to see firsthand what support for Hebrew University achieves through its free 2023 Legacy Mission. That fully sponsored visit to Israel will occur in May next year, between the country’s 75th anniversary Yom Ha’atzmaut celebrations and Shavuot.

It includes business class flights, excellent accommodation, meals and a complete program of activities.

Participation is dependent upon a minimum legacy to the university.

Those interested in the 2023 Legacy Mission should contact AUSTFHU’s CEO Rob Schneider on (02) 9389-2825 or email him at ceo@austfhu.org.au THE KING DAVID SCHOOL

At this time of the year, many families re-evaluate whether their child’s current school is the best fit for them. Many factors come into play and often include social or academic compatibility.

The King David School’s teaching and learning framework, from Early Learning to VCE, places the development of the whole child at its core. The School’s programs are meaningfully differentiated to meet the needs of each learner.

The focus is on teaching students the crucial skill of how to think and learn, rather than what to think and learn. The development of this skill enables children to thrive now and into the future.

In their formative years, pupils learn through curiosity, experimentation and play. The King David School’s Junior School program, “Bedrock thinking”, is designed to develop thinking and cognitive functioning.

For example, as part of their “Units of Inquiry” program, Year 1 students recently explored the concept of sound and light. They listened to different music and displayed what they heard through drawing. They used a different colour for each of the pieces of music. After listening and drawing what they heard, they used words to describe how they felt. This learning experience taught them about patterns, symbolism and how to connect their senses with observation. It engaged them academically on a deeply personal level.

If you would like a tour of The King David School, please visit www.kds.vic.edu.au or contact the admissions’ office on 9527-0102.

From left, Year 3 students Leonard, Phoebe, assistant head of The King David School’s Junior School Janice Shearer and Noah

Australian Friends of The Hebrew University

Our passion for progress

new year new school

From everyone at The King David School we wish you

Shana Tova

AROUND THE COMMUNITY

BY SARA YOHEVED RIGLER COURTESY: AISH.COM

In Munich, President Frank-Walter Steinmeier spoke as if he had studied Maimonides’ five steps of teshuvah.

In the Jewish calendar, tis the season to do teshuvah – to repent for past wrongdoings. Rabbis and spiritual mentors are discoursing on the steps of teshuvah outlined by Maimonides, the great 12thcentury expositor of the concept. But, ironically, it is the president of Germany who has given the world a stunning example of repentance.

The weeks leading up to the 50th anniversary of the 1972 massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics were fraught with dissension. The families of the victims announced that they would boycott the commemorative ceremony because the German government had for 50 years lied to them, refused to share the archive of thousands of files and hundreds of forensic pictures that revealed what had happened to their loved ones and offered a pittance of a financial compensation.

Although it was Arab terrorists who had murdered the athletes, the families of the victims rightly accused the Germans of failure to protect the athletes (even refusing Israeli security offers), the botched rescue operation and the cold, mendacious way the German government handled the affair afterwards.

Finally, German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier offered to fly to Israel to work out an agreement and the families agreed to attend the ceremony.

In Munich, amidst the dark grief of commemorating the tragedy, a beacon of light shone forth from an unlikely source. President Steinmeier spoke as if he had studied Maimonides’ five steps of teshuvah. 1. The first step of teshuvah is admitting one’s failure, without rationalisations or excuses. Here’s how President Steinmeier began his address:

“Today’s act of remembrance can only be sincere if we are prepared to recognise painful facts – if we acknowledge that the story of the Olympic attack is also a story of misjudgments and of dreadful, fatal mistakes: of, in fact, failure. We are talking about a great tragedy and a triple failure.

The first failure regards the preparations for the Games and the security strategy; the second comprises the events of Sept. 5 and 6, 1972; and the third failure begins the day after the attack: the silence, the denial, the forgetting.” 2. The second step is to regret one’s wrong action.

President Steinmeier acknowledged that it was Germany’s responsibility as the host of the Games to protect all the athletes, especially those from Israel. In a poignant admission, tinged with remorse, he confessed:

“There were survivors of the Shoah among the athletes and their coaches. Their safety had been entrusted to us. What a great vote of confidence it was to take part, after the crimes against humanity of the Shoah, in Olympic Games hosted by the country of the perpetrators … We were not prepared for an attack of this kind and yet we ought to have been; that, too, is part of the bitter truth … Honoured family members, I cannot fathom what suffering, what pain you’ve been through, how can life go on. For five decades, that gnawing pain has been with you.” 3. The third step is undertaking to act differently in the future.

After five decades of Germany denying the existence of the archives and evading their obligation to the victims’ families, President Steinmeier announced that the German government would establish an IsraeliGerman commission of historians to “shed light onto that dark chapter”.

Directly addressing the families, he declared: “You have a right to finally know the truth, to finally receive answers to the questions that have tormented you for decades. And they include the question of why you were left alone with your suffering, your pain, for so long.” 4. The fourth step (if another person has been hurt) is to ask forgiveness.

President Steinmeier did exactly that, declaring: “As the head of state of this country and in the name of the Federal Republic of Germany, I ask your forgiveness for the woefully inadequate protection afforded to the Israeli athletes at the Olympic Games in Munich and for the woefully inadequate investigation afterwards.” 5. The fifth step (if property is involved) is to make restitution.

The German government, after its long refusal to do so, offered the victims’ families a compensation package of 28 million dollars.

Teshuvah, our sages assert, actually changes the past. The damage remains, but the person who has done genuine teshuvah is no longer the same agent of wrongdoing. By transforming oneself, through admitting, regretting, resolving to act differently in the future, apologising and making restitution, the progenitor of the evil has become an agent of light.

President Frank-Walter Steinmeier deserves credit for showing us all how to do it.

President’s stunning act of repentance

Don’t just hear the shofar – listen!

RABBI DR BENJI LEVY

“People hearing without listening” are the immortal words from the song Sounds of Silence by Paul Simon. In a rabbinic context, what do these words really mean?

At the conclusion of the central thematic development of the Mussaf prayer on Rosh Hashanah, we declare: ki ata shomeya kol shofar uma’azin trua, meaning: “for you hear the voice of the shofar and listen to its sounding”. Rav Yosef Teomim, the 18th century author of the pri megadim highlights an apparent redundancy. What is the difference between kol shofar, “the voice of the shofar” and trua, “its sounding” and similarly, what is the difference between shmiya, “hearing” and haazana, “listening”?

My Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, explained that hearing the voice of the shofar refers to the background passive noise that passes one by. On the other hand, listening is an active exercise that requires concentration on the content and mindfulness of the context of the symphony that is life. It is for this reason that hearing in the prayer refers to the plain sound that the shofar makes, the single tekia, whereas listening is said in relation to the trua, the triad of blasts that incorporates moments of silence between the sound.

Joshua Bell, one of the 21st century’s finest classical musicians was asked – as a social experiment – to busk in a thoroughfare outside a metro station with his finest violin, crafted by Antonio Stradivari. At 7:51am on the 12th January 2007, Bell opened his violin case, threw a few dollars in and started to play.

Bell performed six masterpieces that he usually fills concert halls with and gave it everything he had. For 43 minutes 1,097 people walked by the virtuoso. Only seven stopped to hear the music for more than a minute and 27 tossed in some money before hurrying on. The rest rushed by on their way to their next engagement.

This was recorded in an article in The Washington Post. Upwards of 1,000 comments were received.

More than 10 per cent wrote that the article made them cry. Cry that is for the sedated souls that couldn’t stop to appreciate the beauty that surrounded them. Cry for the lost moments, the opportunities that slip through our hands, never to return. Cry for the rush of life that goes by so fast that we don’t stop to listen to the music.

The primordial cry of the shofar can pierce the mire of mediocrity where we sometimes find ourselves.

Rosh Hashanah, the head of the Jewish year, encourages us to incorporate shmiya and ha’azana – to hear and listen to the sound and silence of friends, family and those around us in order to better ourselves and the world at large. This year, don’t just hear the shofar – listen!

Wishing you, your family, your community and all of humanity a sweet and successful new year – shana tova umetukah!

THEATRE REVIEW

COME FROM AWAY BY ALEX FIRST

Come From Away, at the Comedy Theatre, as reviewed by Alex First

I have seen it three times now and on each occasion I exit the theatre in awe of what I have just witnessed.

Simply put, it is a show I can’t get enough of … and with very good reason because it is such a brilliantly told, magnificently performed and most remarkable story.

Behind it is the most heinous of tragedies. Come From Away is dramatic, comedic and romantic.

It is overlaid with immense sadness and apprehension and yet its core is drawn from the very best of humanity, a triumph of spirit, strength and resilience.

The combination of marvellous writing, exceptional direction, superb choreography, minimal staging, a harmonious 12-strong cast and seven talented musicians works a treat.

The latter play a combination of Celtic and more familiar instruments to produce a distinctive sound that starts with the throbbing pulse of the bodhran. It is reminiscent of someone dancing on a wooden floor.

You dare not look away for even a moment in a 100-minute production without interval that doesn’t let up.

Inspired by fact, what a special, feel-good endeavour this is – one that restores your faith in the world.

Moving, uplifting, funny, energetic and melodic, I defy anyone not to be in raptures about Come From Away.

Who would have thought anyone could turn such a dastardly deed on its head and create something so positive and theatrical?

Worthy of superlatives

Sugar and spice

The story is set in Newfoundland, an island off the far northeast coast of Canada, after the September 11, 2001 (9/11) terrorist attacks.

As a result, for the first time, American airspace was shut down.

Thirty-eight commercial aircraft carrying 6,579 passengers from 92 countries were diverted to this sleepy hollow, population 9,651 (and four traffic lights).

Ill-equipped to handle the deluge, led by the Mayor of Gander, the citizens of Newfoundland rallied and found a way through.

When they landed, those on board the planes had no idea what had just happened.

When they found out, like the rest of the world, they were deeply shocked and just wanted to get home … but they couldn’t for five long days.

In the meantime, the townsfolk went way beyond the call of duty to lend a helping hand.

By so doing, they entrenched Newfoundland into the psyche of all who inadvertently found their way there.

Amongst the chaos, that place became an unexpected haven, which the weary travellers took to heart.

Sure, there was tension, distrust, fear and heartbreak, but there was also overwhelming good will from the locals, which won out.

In the story, love is lost and found, and new life-long friendships forged … all in the space of just a few days that changed those involved.

I should mention that the musical’s unusual title comes from the fact that Newfoundlanders refer to those not born on the island as “Come From Aways”.

To create the show, Canadian writers Irene Sankoff and David Hein (who are responsible for the music, lyrics and book) went straight to the source.

They travelled to Newfoundland for the 10th anniversary of that fateful week.

Further, they collected hundreds of hours of interviews that they distilled into the completed work.

Come From Away debuted on Broadway in February 2017. It went on to claim the Tony Award for Best Direction.

MOVIE REVIEW

TICKET TO PARADISE (M} BY ALEX FIRST

Their chemistry remains strong. I speak of heavyweights Julia Roberts and George Clooney who work together for the sixth time on the feel good, romantic comedy Ticket to Paradise.

Twenty-five years ago a love story between David (George Clooney) and Georgia (Roberts) played out, which saw them marry and soon after have a child.

That daughter, Lily (Kaitlyn Dever), is about to graduate with a law degree.

Her parents separated acrimoniously five years after they married and although they strictly keep their distance, that is not happening at the graduation ceremony.

They continue to take pot shots at one another, even though they both love their daughter dearly.

Now Lily is headed for a holiday to Bali with her best friend and roommate Wren (Billie Lourd).

Once there, Lily falls heads over heels for a local seaweed fisherman, Gede (Maxime Bouttier), which totally upends her life … in a good way.

Next thing you know, Lily has given up her starting position at a law practice and decided to wed the man of her dreams and live in Bali. She invites her parents to the wedding, which they intend to shanghai by sleuth. Hijinks abound. In the process, David and Georgia come to realise that their spark hasn’t been totally extinguished.

Ol Parker (Mama Mia! Here We Go Again) is the co-writer (with Daniel Pipski) and director of Ticket to Paradise.

Many of the performers in this latest Melbourne season are not the same as the last time the production was in town (at the start of last year) or the time before that (being the middle of 2019).

Each of the cast shares the limelight, assuming multiple characters.

All are terrific, with Zoe Gertz playing the first female captain of an American Airlines aircraft with distinction. She was a member of the original Australian company of Come From Away.

Among the other standouts are David Silvestri as the larger-than-life Mayor of Gander and Joe Kosky as the local policeman.

There is also much to like about the comedic showing of Kyle Brown and the empathetic and “get on with it” portrayals of Emma Powell.

The most basic of sets (Beowulf Boritt is responsible for scenic design), with revolving central stage and trees on either side serves the storyline well.

The songs, which number 15, are rousing and poignant.

So much happens and the words and lyrics tell a tale of anguish and inspiration.

Directed by Christopher Ashley, with musical supervision from Ian Eisendrath and musical staging by Kelly Devine, the narrative moves along at pace and leaves you feeling buoyant.

I cannot recommend Come From Away more highly.

It is an astounding piece of work, brilliantly conceived and executed.

See it for the first time or the second or the third. Regardless, just see it.

It is playing at the Comedy Theatre in Melbourne until 30th October.

The script is filled with sugar and spice and all things nice (and predictable). Nevertheless, there were a number of times I found myself laughing aloud.

Clooney is debonair and makes everything look effortlessly simple. His smile charms and disarms. Roberts seems to enjoy her barbed back and forth showcase lines with Clooney and she certainly gives as good as she gets.

A gorgeous looking picture, cinematographer Ole Bratt Birkeland has done himself proud.

Ticket to Paradise was primarily shot in the Whitsundays, which substituted for Bali. Hopefully both tourist destinations benefit enormously as a result.

I am a sucker for this kind of lightweight, by the book, fare.

I say that because though it is make believe, the romantic in me simply wishes this style of “happily ever after” was true.

Ticket to Paradise is easy on the eye – a pleasant distraction, a soft, entertaining romp. Female skewed (am I even allowed to proffer an opinion on that in 2022?), it should attract an appreciative audience.

Rated M, it scores a 7 out of 10.

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ISRAELI NEWS

BY NOMI KALTMANN COURTESY: TABLET MAGAZINE

In Jerusalem, Shabbat Shelach maintains a focus on both queer identity and religious practice.

Nicole Kaufman Grubner wasn’t publicly out as a lesbian in her hometown of Vancouver, but after she made aliyah in 2013, she began to share her identity more widely. She started looking for a community in Israel where she could meet other people like herself.

She was thrilled to find Shabbat Shelach , a group that aims to build community for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women … around the Shabbat table.

Shabbat Shelach was founded in 2016 by two Americans, Sarah Weil and Ariel Hendelman.

“We had nowhere to go,” said Weil. “The religious Jewish world accepted our Judaism, but rejected us as gay. And the gay world accepted our gayness, but rejected our Jewish values. We were stranded between worlds and so we created a new space, where we could live authentic Jewish lives as gay women. For me, Shabbat Shelach became my supportive community for living a Torahcentred, God-centred life and building a real future as a gay Jewish woman.”

At least once a month, the group hosts potluck Shabbat dinners in private homes in Jerusalem, attended by Jewish women from around the country. On average about 10 women attend each Shabbat meal, but if the host has capacity, it can be larger.

“There are a lot of LGBTQI+ groups that focus exclusively on queer identity and often people with a religious identity have to pick one identity over the other,” said Kaufman Grubner, who has been a member since 2016. “Shabbat Shelach was founded to say we want to have both parts of our identities and that is why the organisation is centered around the Shabbat table.”

The group differentiates itself from other lesbian support groups in Israel, such as Bat Kol, because most of Shabbat Shelach’s members are Englishspeaking olim who come from religious or spiritually inclined backgrounds. While the group does not specifically identify as Orthodox, many of its members, including Kaufman Grubner, are from observant or spiritually inclined homes and have an affinity and deep familiarity with religious practices.

“We have members who live in fully ultra-Orthodox cities, who are not out, and they come to Shabbat Shelach. We have members who are atheist who are connecting around Shabbat. All the meals we put on are kosher and the food must be prepared in a kosher kitchen. We want everyone to feel that comfort,” said Kaufman Grubner.

From this simple premise, the group, which numbers close to 200 members, created a lesbian support community that many were seeking. Its members include Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders and Europeans. A few Israelis have also joined their programs. Members range in age from their early 20s to their 60s.

“Shabbat is really the epitome of this idea of welcoming, gathering, sharing food and Torah and stories, opening our homes to each other,” said Hendelman. “In Shabbat we found the secret to community. It fills me with so much joy and pride that now, six years later, Shabbat Shelach is still going strong. It is such a blessing and shows how much it was needed.”

While the majority of members are lesbians, the group includes those who don’t identify as lesbians but are gender nonbinary or transwomen. “We are women-aligned,” said Kaufman Grubner. “If you identify as a woman and are assigned female at birth, or you are gender queer, you can attend.”

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, the group was gaining momentum around its programs and a growing number of women who were pleased to find their niche in the active LGBQTI+ scene in Israel. In addition to regular Shabbat meals, the group hosted a Passover Seder with a grant from the Schusterman Foundation and hosted a Shabbat dinner for the wider community at the Shalom Hartman Institute.

“There is a need for this type of connection and community, and I see it as part of my religious service,” said Kaufman Grubner. “To have a space that is religiously Jewish and not to feel any shame to participate in it with our full selves is really important.”

Among the members of Shabbat Shelach there are women who are not yet out to their families and friends in religious communities.

For Tova F., who asked that her last name not be used because she is not out to her grandparents, Shabbat Shelach provided a welcome to a community that she had not previously realised she was a part of. Growing up in New York in a modern Orthodox family, she went to an all-girls’ school. She said “we definitely weren’t talking about LGBTQI rights in my home or school.”

“In Israel I was more open, in Israel I was experimenting with coming out. I realised that I needed people. I grew up without role models” in the LGBTQI+ community.

The first time Tova came to Shabbat Shelach, she felt that she had found a place where she could really belong.

Shabbat Shelach attracts women who are looking for a familiar religious experience while being proud of their queerness and this provides an unexpected side benefit for all attendees: matchmaking.

In just over six years of operations, it is estimated 10 couples have met through Shabbat Shelach.

Naavah Vesley, a 25-year-old who made aliyah from New York met her partner, Jules, through the group. While these days, the two of them and their baby live in Sydney, they owe their partnering to Shabbat Shelach.

“At Shabbat Shelach we have a pretty good shidduch rate,” said Vesley, using the Yiddish term for matchmaking. “It is one of the most beautiful communities I have ever been part of. We are proud of who we are. We are Jewish and queer. We are different. We are two minorities.”

Before joining Shabbat Shelach, Vesley had been searching for a community where she belonged.

“Before I moved to Israel (in 2018) I came to terms with the fact I’m a lesbian – a religious lesbian. I grew up in a closed religious Orthodox community in New York. I did not know what a lesbian was until I was 16,” Vesley said. “I made friends in Shabbat Shelach that I never thought I would make.”

“When we started Shabbat Shelach, we were looking to fill a need – especially among anglo LGBTQI+ women – for connection and community,” said Kaufman Grubner. “Today we have that community, but we also attend each other’s weddings, get together for meals and meet at the park to play basketball. Shabbat Shelach has created a space to meet friends and potential partners, and connect over shared values.”

Judaica quiz answers

1. Tashlich – The casting away of one’s sins 2. To go around in a cycle – in this case, the cycle of the year. 3. Tzimmes 4. Blowing 100 notes per day on the Shofar 5. False – it coincides with the New Moon 6. Sunday, Tuesday and Friday 7. Sefad has no streams or rivers, the only way Tashlich can be recited is to stand on one of the nearby hill tops that has a view of the Kinneret, the Sea of Galilee. 8. The novel idea of Jews in all parts of the world studying the same daf, or page, of Talmud each day, with the goal of completing the entire Talmud every seven-and-a-half years 9. Barack Obama 10. Honey cake 11. Ruth Bader Ginsburg 12. The Jazz Singer (1927) 13. Yom Teruah – The Day of Blowing, or Yom Zichron Teruah – The Day for Remembering the Blowing 14. Avinu Malkeinu 15. Franz Rosenzweig 16. In order to represent how we bend before the Almighty and demonstrate a submissive will during the Days of Repentance 17. FALSE in the sense that Isaac is the only one of the two sons mentioned by name in the Torah reading - the name Ishmael is conspicuous by its absence 18. The letters that make the word Elul – alef, lamed, vav, lamed – are the opening letters of the four words – ‘ani ledodi vedodi li’ – I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me 19. So he could begin observing Yom Kippur by the time the sun set 20. An afternoon nap, known on Shabbat as a Shabbat Schluf 21. Nuts (Hebrew – Egoz) 22. Prostration as a form of worship was adopted by Christians. Following this, Jews felt uncomfortable continuing to do what appeared to them as a strong Christian practice, and applying the law of Chukkat Hagoy – ‘avoiding the customs of non-Jews’, they abandoned kneeling except for these few exceptionally holy days of the year. 23. Temani – Yemenite 24. Hineni 25. G’mar chatimah tovah - May you be sealed for good [in the Book of Life] or G’mar tov which roughly translates as “a good seal”

Building community over Friday night dinner

This story originally appeared in Tablet Magazine (tabletmag.com) and is reprinted with permission.

Spelling bee answers

Jewish answer: CHAZZANUS. Here is a list of some common words (yes, we know there are more words in the dictionary that can work, but these words are common to today’s vernacular): ANACHNU, CHAZAN (CHAZZAN), HAUNCH, HUNCH, NACHAS, NUSACH, SAUNA, SAUNAS, SCANS, SHUNS.

Rosh Hashanah Appeal

Shana Tova

From left: David Schulberg and Ronen Cohen at One Voice (March 2022) Photo: Sean Meltzer

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