MAKING ENDURING CHANGE

AROUND THE

COMMUNITY Making enduring change

RABBI DANIEL RABIN

“Insanty is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This quote, attributed to Albert Einstein, was referenced to me by my personal trainer, Tal Marom from Trademark Performance. I have been fortunate to train with Tal over the past year and have really enjoyed his guidance and encouragement to live a healthier lifestyle. However, a few months into our program, I said to Tal that although the strength training was going well, the weight loss results were slow in coming.

I sat down with him and we discussed my overall lifestyle and what I was doing between sessions.

After listening intently, he responded with the quote from above. Hearing that, I decided to make some significant changes in my overall health, including diet, training and general mental wellbeing. Doing so made a significant difference, and my wife, Tal and I refer back to it when things seem to be stalling. There are so many aspects of life where people seem to expect different results, yet continue doing the same things over and over.

A couple came to see me because they were frequently arguing and constantly angry with each other. This was a negative ongoing pattern and, not surprisingly, the result remained the same. I am pleased to report that following a few, small changes, they are now in a better space.

We are entering the month of Elul. It is a month when the shofar will be blown daily (except on Shabbat), reminding us that Rosh Hashanah is just four weeks away and we must reflect seriously on our journey in the coming year. I would like to suggest that Albert Einstein was right on the money because during this time of the year people have grandiose

ideas about wanting to make changes and doing better. But what ends up happening is that they do the same things and expect different results.

Many people have told me over the years that their Judaism doesn't inspire them or connect with them. I have heard people say that the High Holydays come and go without making a difference to their lives. I understand where they are coming from.

They (and we) need to come up with different strategies. For instance, if you do not understand the meaning of the High Holyday prayers, spend some time learning about them … before they arrive. Understand their origin, meaning and significance. My colleagues and I would be happy to share our knowledge with those interested and there are numerous online resources available

too. I assure you if you do take that step there will be a difference in results. The prayers will feel more relevant and inspiring, leading to a desire to learn and understand even more.

Let me go further and suggest a few strategies for making broader, longlasting and impactful changes.

First up, don’t go it alone. Pirkei Avot (Chapter 1: Mishna 6) teaches us that to "make yourself a Rav (a teacher or mentor) acquire yourself a friend". It is crucial to have the support of an expert or someone you trust. A teacher will provide the necessary education and information, while a friend will keep you motivated and share your ups and downs.

Pace yourself. In other words, don’t swallow more than you can chew. A large distance can be covered in small steps. People often go back to their "old ways" because they try to do too much too soon. This year, if you learn the meaning of just one additional prayer, you will no doubt have a more positive experience.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you have a bad day. For instance, there are many who give up their healthy eating quest after consuming a few unhealthy meals. Speak positively to yourself and acknowledge the good work you have done – the mentor and friend can be tremendously helpful at these times.

Finally, whatever you resolve to do, don’t wait. Get started immediately. I say that regardless of whether you plan to lose weight, get in shape, attend Shule more regularly, study more, apologise to those you have wronged, work on your interpersonal relationships or make any other commitment, The great Sage Hillel said it best in Pirkei Avot “… and if not now, when?”

“I would like to suggest that Albert Einstein was right on the money because during this time of the year people have grandiose ideas about wanting to make changes and doing better. But what ends up happening is that they do the same things and expect different results.”