5 minute read
THE ANNIVERSARY EFFECT
AROUND THE COMMUNITY
ANNE-MARIE ELIAS
As we approach Yom Ha’atzmaut, we can pause to reflect on this anniversary of the declaration of independence of the State of Israel on 14th May, 1948. For Israelis, in particular, and Jews, in general, this is a day of celebration.
Are all anniversaries celebratory? When they are, we experience joy and happiness. We acknowledge a significant event by getting together with others to create a shared experience of something positive. This is certainly true In Israel, where Yom Ha’atzmaut is a national holiday. Take a moment to reflect on anniversaries that you have celebrated. These may be religious days, personal days such as birthdays, or national public holidays. How did you feel and what did you do?
But not all anniversaries are positive. Some, such as the anniversary of the death of a loved one or Holocaust Remembrance Day, are filled with sadness and trauma.
Researchers call this the anniversary effect. These days are marked by feelings, thoughts and memories that occur on or around a date that marks a significant event. People could be feeling sad, anxious, irritable, anxious and/or emotionally shutdown. Some experience difficulty sleeping and lose their appetite. We need to plan and prepare for such anniversaries. Here is how.
Awareness
Rather than trying to forget the day, remind yourself that the days or weeks leading up to these anniversaries could be tough for you. Practice selfcompassion.
With an acceptance that this will be a difficult time, find ways to increase your self-care. Look after yourself by eating well and resting. If you anticipate that you may need more support, schedule time with friends or family. Let them know how you are feeling and what you require. If need be, take a break from work.
Talk about it
If you have experienced an anniversary effect before and feel you might be vulnerable again, do your best to make sure your support network is there for you. This may be a time to reconnect with a therapist for a few sessions. Ensure that if you need to talk about the trauma, the people in your support network will let you do so and not try to shut you down. It is important that you have a safe space to open up and cry. Expressive therapy, such as writing, art or music, can also be helpful.
Media
If your anniversary is related to a public event, there will likely be media coverage. If you find this triggering, then it is important to stay away from media or limit your access to it.
Commemorate
It can be helpful and important to honour your experience. Some ways to commemorate your anniversary, include: • Donating time or money to charity, especially if that charity aims to prevent (or help others that have experienced) trauma. • Organising a dinner with loved ones. You may choose to make this a reflective occasion or a loving, joyful one. Do what best fits your needs. • Visiting a meaningful spot, like a place that you associate with happiness or healing. • Planting a tree and bringing new life into the world. • Expressing your feelings through art, writing, dancing, or another activity where you can release your thoughts. • Making yourself laugh by seeing a funny movie or spending time with your most amusing friends. • Visiting the cemetery (when it involves a personal loss). • Participating in a public event, such as Anzac Day.
Finally, remember what you are feeling is temporary. While adverse anniversary reactions can be very strong, they will usually pass within a week or two and you will come out the other side feeling lighter. If you don’t, by all means seek the guidance of a trained psychologist.
The anniversary effect
Anne-Marie Elias is a psychologist in clinical practice for 25 years.
Land flowing with milk and honey
YERACHMIEL ISACOWITZ
Jewish liturgy is replete with mention of our homeland. At the seder we say, “now here, next year in the Land of Israel. Now slaves, next year free people.” What kind of freedom do we seek and what does that have to do with Israel?
Modern history abounds with “freedom from” movements that have ended in dictatorships worse than the original. For example, in Russia freedom from the Tzar to Stalin, in China freedom from the Emperor to Mao and in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) freedom from minority rule to Mugabe etc.
Judaism is a “freedom to” program. We strive to have freedom to live the life of spiritual responsibility (mitzvot) as outlined in the Torah. We see this as our purpose and we aim to continually better ourselves.
Judaism is an all-encompassing, lifelong commitment. It incorporates the most sophisticated legal, ethical and ritual system. To fulfil our commitment, we need the freedom to adhere to its principles. While there have been many periods in Jewish history that we have had independent communities in the diaspora, there is no opportunity to live the model Torah life completely outside Eretz Yisrael. Israel is a special land. In fact, most of the 613 mitzvot in the Torah are dependent upon it.
There are general mitzvot, for example peah (leaving the corners of the fields for the poor), trumot and ma’asrot (dedications of percentages of crops to Kohanim, Leviim and the poor) and shmita (refraining from farming in the seventh year).
There are other mitzvot that apply only in Jerusalem, for example offerings in the Beit Hamikdash (The Temple), maase sheini (the third percentage of crops that must be eaten there) and aliyot haregel (pilgrimage to Jerusalem on three festivals).
Israel has what is called kedushat ha’aretz (holiness of the land) that requires a heightened awareness of how we treat it, what we allow to be brought in and what behaviors are acceptable. So, for example, at the height of Jewish control over Israel, in the times of King David, idol worship was strictly forbidden.
The utopian Jewish picture is living in Israel ruled by a King who is a model of Torah.
Philosophically, this is the expression of belief in the control the One God has over the universe.
