The Difficult Art of Saying NO

The Difficult Art of Saying NO

Stress Management

Are you one of those nice people who have learnt plenty of useful skills like leadership, writing, communication, management, communication, etc., over the years but somehow couldn’t learn one important skill because it was too difficult and embarrassing? Do you know what that skill is?

Don’t know? Really? It’s is a simple two-letter word called no and the firm art of refusing to people. But don’t be concerned. You are not alone. Learning to say “No” is one of the toughest skills as we are taught from an early age that it’s wrong, impolite, and insulting to turn someone down when they make a request. But there will come a time in your life when you have to start saying no and get out of that habit of saying yes to everything.

“Okay, but to who exactly should I say no?”

Answer - To all those capable folks who think that you are always available to help them, carry out errands, and think you are their bellboy. For example, it is quite common for spouses, children, relatives, neighbors, and certain friends to invent or extract some work from you the moment they see you. They take you for granted and expect you to be their free errand boy all the time. Even when you come home exhausted they will gleefully dump half a dozen activities on you even though they can do many of those tasks themselves. Have you observed this?

All your plans get ruined because of their incessant demands. But if you are unable or unwilling to say no to certain demands, then it can make you stressed, exhausted, and irritable. It also results in you wasting time, money, and energy. Trying to meet the needs and demands of everyone around you can be exhausting and can also have an impact on your physical and mental health. This is why you must learn to say no to people. However, this jump from yes to everything to no to many things should be done gradually to avoid conflicts and putting yourself in trouble. Here are some pointers to help in your no journey.

Ask who is requesting you to take on some responsibility or task? Can they do it themselves? Do they know how to do it? Is it actually their job? If it’s yes, then find an excuse to say no as you are well within your rights to decline.

Weigh the consequences before saying no. If you decline will it create a conflict between you and the other person? Remember, some people have a hard time taking “no” for an answer especially if you have said yes to everything they had asked before.

Ask if you have the time, money, and energy for taking on additional work? Are you taking on too much? For example, if you have worked a 12-hour day and your family member asks you to drive them somewhere nearby, or assign some task when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves, then simply say no without any explanations or regret.

If you want more time, freedom, and energy then start saying no. Give yourself some courage to say NO without feeling guilty or selfish. Anyone who gets upset or expects you to say yes for every request or demand doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

You should also learn to say no to tasks and projects that are not right for you, demeaning, or you know you can’t do it. You can also say no to certain people who are incompatible with your style of working, or because of the past bad experiences in dealing with them. You can also say no to bad ideas or strategies suggested by people who have no experience or know less than you. Remember, you don’t have to accept things you are not okay with.

If you don’t say a firm no to people who can do the jobs themselves, then you will be eternally postponing your plans, hobbies, and will fall sick by exhaustion. Their urgencies shouldn’t always become your emergency. It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on things that are important to you.

Finally, we shall end this article with some famous quotes.

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” Josh Billings

“No is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation to follow. You can truly answer someone’s request with a simple no.” Sharon E. Rainey

“Sometimes no is the kindest word.” Vironika Tugaleva

“You don’t have to stay committed to something just because you’re good at it.” Brittany Burgunder