Self Improvement International - October 2020

Self Improvement International October 2020 Issue Stop Being a Modern Slave Become an Approachable Manager Fears of First Time Authors and many more !!!

Wealth of the Wise

Self Improvement International Wealth of the Wise October 2020 Issue

Copyright Š Thejendra Sreenivas. All Rights Reserved

Self Improvement International October 2020 Issue Editor and Publisher - Thejendra Sreenivas Bangalore, India.

Website - www.thejendra.com Email - thejendra@yahoo.com & thejendrabs@gmail.com

Self Improvement International is a monthly electronic magazine edited and published by Thejendra Sreenivas on behalf of his private Seven Sages Consultancy, Bangalore, India.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems, or in any language without the written permission of the editor.

Image Sources - All Images used in this magazine for the articles are from sites like Pexels, Unsplash, Pixabay, etc., that are free for both personal and

commercial

use,

and

used

as

per

the

recommendations of fair use. My full thanks and credits to the respective artists.

Licensing - This digital magazine is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be re-sold or gifted to other people. If you would like to share this with others, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with.

If you are reading this and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the publisher’s work.

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In this issue From the Editor’s Desk

01

What my Lawyer makes me say

04

What Else?

07

Become an Approachable Manager Workplace Leadership

The Power of Letting Go Personal Development

Stop Being a Modern Slave Personal Development

10

22

33

In this issue (cont’d) Are you prepared for Old Age? Personal Development

How to Retire Early?

Financial Management

The Power of Pausing Personal Development

WRITING & PUBLISHING

Fears of First Time Authors Writing and Publishing

44

55

67

78

80

In this issue (cont’d) CHILDREN SECTION

Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

I am a Magnificent Mango Children Health

A Few Questions FAQs

About the Editor

89

90

97

101

107

From the Editor’s Desk

H

ey, thanks for subscribing to my unique and

delightful

Self

Improvement

International magazine. This is a magazine to be read, retained, remembered, and re-read from your electronic bookshelf. Each magazine carries a bunch of sparkling articles on Personal 1

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Development, Stress Management, Humor, Frugality, Leadership, Resiliency, Workplace Issues, Spirituality, Life Skills, Satire, Writing, Publishing, and an occasional Harsh Advice.

Simplicity is the hallmark of this treasure chest. Unlike the hordes of dazzling magazines that you see in the newsstands the contents here are eye and eReader friendly, and not crowded with

complex

cosmetics,

awesome

advertisements, and gorgeous graphics that can distract or irritate your eyes. The text font is also optimized to be easily read on all smartphones, tablets, and computer browsers so that you don’t have to pinch and zoom to read the contents.

Like a basket of delicious fruits each issue can dramatically transform your personal and professional life. Think of this magazine as your 2

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

electronic personal coach who can make you superior to the rest of the crowd. Give it a try.

You may be pleasantly surprised.

Back to Contents

3

What my Lawyer makes me say

D

isclaimer: Although this magazine has been prepared with utmost care, neither the author, publisher, seller, editor, or any

other party associated with this magazine can accept any liability for any direct or indirect

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

damages caused by following the advice given here.

All opinions, ideas, and advice expressed here are largely my personal or the contributor opinions and don’t necessarily represent the opinion of any other organization or person, including my employer, my clients or their agents. Any reference to any persons or businesses, whether living or dead, existing or defunct, is purely unintentional.

Self Improvement International cannot vouch for or certify the claims made by advertisers and is not liable for any cause of action arising out of such claims. All disputes are subject to the courts and competent forums in Bangalore, India only.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Images used in this magazine are from open image sources like Pexels, Unsplash, Pixabay, etc., that are free for personal and commercial use.

My full thanks and credits to the respective artists.

Back to Contents

6

What Else?

W

ise men say that one should never have any desire for wealth and must always be prepared to lead a life of virtuous

poverty. Also, writing articles is viewed by many as

a

hobby

that

doesn’t

deserve

any

compensation for the writer as they must write purely for the passion and not for money. But 7

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

writing involves enormous effort and we don’t live on such magnanimous money-free planets.

By becoming a customer of this magazine and sharing information about this with all your friends you help me create valuable content for writers and executives. Thank you for being so generous.

Also, if you are a generously giving kind of person, then I am a happily accepting kind of person. So, if you have any unused excess wealth stashed away in Swiss Banks, Spare Jewels, Precious Gems, Spanish Gold Bars, Priceless Paintings, Rare Dinosaur Bones, Asteroid Pieces, Unused Rolls-Royce, Private Jets, Luxury Ships, or even an Exotic Island or Kingdom somewhere, please feel free to donate them to me along with all applicable taxes. Such humble gifts can nudge 8

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

me to scribble more articles that could be of use to someone, somewhere on our lonely planet ď Š

Back to Contents

9

Become an Approachable Manager Workplace Leadership

S

ome years ago I was watching a TV program on a business channel where a

bunch of reputed businessmen were the judges for a young business entrepreneur program. Each young

participant

(college

students)

was

expected to present a business case for the winning entry. However, the program was going 10

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

nowhere as the judges weren’t allowing any participant to complete their presentation or go beyond a couple of sentences, and would constantly attack them with questions after questions. The judges were even firing questions at each other and answering every question with another question. Every young participant, half their age, were being ripped to pieces with their incessant and often cynical questions. Finally, one of the participants was awarded a ceramic pot of un-definable shape with something inscribed on it, while the others walked out dazed and gasping for breath. Mercifully, the program ended soon.

What the above incident teaches you is the world today is full of people who love to ask tough questions. Interviews, talk shows, blogs, 11

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

corporate

seminars,

meetings,

vendor

discussions, business strategies, IT support, journalism, service level agreements, etc., are all love bombarding someone with truckloads of smart and intelligent sounding questions. Today, asking questions that others cannot answer is the favorite hobby for many people.

Hence, many executives nowadays take great pride in asking complicated and smart questions that can make others squirm, shut their mouth, or run away from the scene. Also, many people believe just asking a tough question settles the matter without the need to get involved to solve the issue. Secondly, a large percentage of people ask tough questions just for the heck of it, especially in meetings.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

The basic reason why many people ask tough questions is mainly to satisfy their ego of making others uncomfortable, cover up their lack of knowledge, or just to impress others. For example, most discussions and arguments you may have observed are all about how someone outsmarted someone else by firing a smart question.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but checks when you say the paint is wet?

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Watching someone squirm gives a selfcongratulatory sadistic pleasure to many people like, “Hah, you should have seen that bozo’s face when I asked him that tricky question”. But it doesn’t mean people will be using tough and rude questions with everyone, but they will definitely not miss an opportunity to fire it on someone they can afford to be rude with.

Anyway,

nowadays

with

the

amount

of

information overload it’s very easy to ask plenty of good, bad, tough, smart, rude, tricky, vague, stupid, dumb, and rubbish questions. And a large percentage of those questions just don’t have answers.

However, the habit of asking questions is not a bad habit, but deliberately asking questions that you or others cannot answer is dumb. You can 15

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

keep asking such questions to eternity, but you will not get any correct answers or solutions.

Rude and rubbish questions, even smart sounding ones, often create a lot of problems.

Very often, people ask tough questions because they think a tough question will get the necessary answer. But the fact is people avoid people who ask tough questions.

Bombarding anyone with tough questions is a futile exercise because you will never get the right answers. It only makes people avoid you, or give you evasive, defensive and incorrect answers. Besides, a shoot the messenger approach will make people tell lies and cover up bad news to prevent their head from being chewed off. Secondly, rough and tough questions simply create stress, anxiety, and fear to a lot of 16

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

people. Such questions make people commit more mistakes because the brain goes numb with fear.

Toughness prevents the truth from being said and people will invent excuses. And the list can go on and on. Maybe rough and tough questions are useful in police interrogations, but rarely necessary in business life. As Bob Parsons said, “Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings”. So, if you are a sensible person, you will understand the limitations of our species. To get correct answers or solutions from others you need to ask approachable questions. Now you may ask what is an approachable question and how do you ask one? But an approachable 17

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

question cannot be exactly defined, nor is it possible

to

give

you

a

specific

list

of

approachable questions that can be used in every situation. However, an approachable question can be described in many ways. Here are a few ways to learn how to ask approachable questions.

An approachable question doesn’t have any toxicity, cynicism or tricky content into it. It’s a question that does not trap people or put them in an awkward position. An approachable question can be a straightforward or direct question, but it’s asked in a non-threatening or non-intimidating way.

An approachable question doesn’t hurt sentiments, or make people defensive or point fingers at them in an accusatory manner. People 18

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

make mistakes and will continue to do many mistakes in their lifetime. It’s quite possible for someone to have completely goofed up on something, lost a major sales account, or did something really stupid. Except in rare cases, there will always be a valid reason for it.

Approachable questions create pleasantness and collaboration. It removes fear and extracts right answers even if the answer is bad news.

Successful managers know how to get the right answers

from

employees

by

not

being

intimidating in their approach. Their objective is to solve an issue or a problem, and not get a mischievous

pleasure

by

making

people

uncomfortable. Approachable questions help you achieve that.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Approachable questions don’t have a “Shoot the messenger” approach. If you develop the habit of asking approachable questions, then people will approach you openly for help and advice, instead of thinking, “Here comes the ogre to chew our head off”. People who know how to ask approachable questions don’t thump their fists on tables, or demand an explanation immediately, or try to find a scapegoat.

Finally, to summarize, the challenge for each one of us is to frequently pause and observe ourselves to see if we are asking the right questions. And we can conclude this chapter with a quote from Dorothy Nevill who said, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Back to Contents

Adults need to drink at least 1.5 liters of fluid a day. So drink plenty of water at regular intervals daily. But most people forget to drink regularly. Set an alarm to remind you. Plain water is the best. Fruit juices, tea, soft drinks, milk and other drinks, can also be okay.

21

The Power of Letting Go Personal Development

A

popular

Indian

spiritual

guru

once

suggested two amazing methods to solve

our nagging worries.

Method-1 “Do you have a problem?�

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

“Yes.” “Do you have a solution?”

“Yes” “Then why worry?”

Method-2 “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes.” “Do you have a solution?”

“No” “Then why worry?”

If you read the above methods a couple of times you will realize how amazing his suggestions are for ejecting that invisible monkey called worry from your shoulders. On our planet no human being is immune to problems and worries in life. But sometimes you will be hit with raging worries that no amount of 23

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

money, power, prestige, or influence can solve.

Call it bad luck, black magic, or a supernatural force preventing you from doing something.

Nothing will seem to work the way you want and even

the

simplest

of

tasks

will

seem

insurmountable.

Or in some cases, you become so obsessed with the desire to solve everything on your own that you become physically and emotionally exhausted. In such situations the correct method advised by our wise gurus is to simply give up and bravely let it go. This is called the technique or power of letting go of uncontrollable or unchangeable things in your life. It’s an essential and mysterious skill discovered by our wise ancestors to prevent burnout, depression, and move on in life.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Letting go of something you desire is difficult but it’s not impossible. The power of letting go is often greater than the power of holding on.

Letting go is actually healthy, can reduce your burnout, and can also make you a brave person.

As the great Kenny Rogers sings in his magnificent song, ‘You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run.’

For example, take the interesting story about a Buddhist lady traveling through a forest carrying a water gourd and a paper fan. While passing through the dangerous forest she was suddenly confronted by an armed bandit who was bigger and stronger than her. But before he could attack her she rushed at him with a blood-curdling scream, brandishing and waving her paper fan.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

The bandit was shocked by her ferocious charge and fled into the woods believing the paper fan was indeed some dangerous weapon.

Obviously, the frail lady could not have subdued an armed bandit with a simple paper fan. So, what was the source of her power? The answer lies in the power of letting go. The lady lets go of her fears and risked her life to initiate this surprise attack. In her willingness to die if necessary she let go of her fears and saved her own life.

Another way to look at this is to stop believing in the misconception that only you can solve or have a solution to every problem. Do not assume that others cannot do the job you are doing. Do not believe you are indispensable. Obsession with control is like a slippery eel and the more 26

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

you try to grab it the farther it slips away. Believe in the possibility that many things are probably not destined to be done by you. Do not worry about you being seen as a failure if you fail at something.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Not everything you attempt can be always successful. Life is an unpredictable game and you got to lose sometime. Motivational slogans like Never Give Up and Never Stop Trying doesn’t always work for everyone. If you are unable or unwilling to let go, then it can cause severe stress and pain, both physically and mentally. So, the next time you are faced with some nagging problem that has no solution just let it go regardless of the consequences.

Basically, when you attempt to force an outcome you desire the mischievous universe will resist. This is similar to not finding a taxi when you desperately need one but they mysteriously start appearing when you give up and decide to walk home. So, if something doesn’t succeed even after several attempts then stop for some 29

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

time. Stop throwing more effort at dead ends, the unviable, ineffective, or simply not working out. Suddenly, the universe will lose interest in mischief and stop torturing you. Finally, we shall end this article with a few interesting quotes.

If you want something very badly first set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never yours to begin with Blake Lively I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter into one of the most creative periods of my life - Steve Jobs

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go - Herman Hesse Never love something so much that you can’t let go of it - Ginni Rometty We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us - Joseph Campbell Pain will leave you when you let go - Jeremy Aldana

Back to Contents

If you are a crime victim and get a chance to use your phone first send SMS/Social Media/Email messages to as many friends, relatives, contacts, groups, police, lawyer 31

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

with details and location. This will create irrefutable electronic records. Don't waste time making phone calls.

You may not reach the person or be able to explain everything in the limited time.

32

Stop Being a Modern Slave Personal Development

A

re you one of those helpful persons who are now facing the following problems

like - You have become a doormat or a bellboy to others. You are unable and unwilling to say no.

People take you for granted. You are endlessly running errands for others. Everyone’s urgencies 33

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

are your emergencies. All your time, money, and effort is spent on helping others. You have become a cart horse by taking on everyone’s load. You have to take permission from your husband, wife, or other family members to buy the things you love with your own money, or eat the dishes you like, wear the clothes you like, sleep an extra hour, and so on.

If you say yes to one or more of the above statements, then you are not alone. Millions of people worldwide, especially breadwinners, are in the same boat unable and unwilling to escape.

But there comes a time in everyone’s life when you have to decide to put a full stop to many things, decide who stays and who goes out of your life, stop being a doormat, and start living 34

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

for yourself without any guilt or regret. Here are six steps that will show you how.

Step-1: Start saying NO. Now you may ask to whom you should say no. The answer is to all those capable folks who think that you are always available to help them, carry out errands, and think that you are their bellboy. For example, it's quite common for spouses, children, relatives, neighbors, and certain friends to invent or extract some work from you the moment they see you. They take you for granted and expect you to be their free errand boy all the time. Even when you come home exhausted they will gleefully dump half a dozen activities on you though they can do many of those tasks themselves. Have you observed this? In India we

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

call this as the concept of being unable to walk as soon as you see a horse carriage.

By succumbing to such pressures all your plans get ruined because of their incessant demands.

Whatever you had planned for the weekend or a holiday goes down the drain. Basically, when you say yes to everyone it means their work will get completed, while your work will be pending. You will have to cancel or postpone the things that you wanted to do to accommodate someone's poor planning, urgency, or laziness. And this game repeats endlessly. All your batteries get used up in helping others leaving no power for your own desires. It also results in you wasting time, money, and energy. For example, it may have become a habit for you to drive to drop or pick up someone every day even though they 36

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

may be capable of travelling on their own. This is why you need gradually start saying NO to those who can do the jobs themselves.

Step-2: How to do that? The jump from YES to NO should not be done abruptly and must be done in a gradual way like changing traffic lanes.

Basically, your jump from yes to no should be done gradually to avoid conflicts and putting yourself in trouble.

Step-3: Ask who is requesting you to take on some responsibility or task? Can they do it themselves? Do they know how to do it? Is it actually their job? If it’s yes, then find an excuse to say no as you are well within your rights to decline. Otherwise, lazy people will always find some excuse to get their work done from you by using tricks like loudly appreciating your work, 37

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

thanking you profusely, or pretending to not know what to do, or avoid learning their job. If you fall for such tricks then you will be doing jobs for others forever.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Step-4: Ask if you have the time, money, and energy for taking on additional work? Are you taking on too much? For example, if you have worked a 12-hour day and your family member asks you to drive them somewhere nearby, or assign some task when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves, then simply say no without any explanations or regret. Harden yourself to tolerate their grumbling, whimpering, and moaning.

Step-5: Don't allow others poor planning or urgencies to always become your emergency.

Many people have the habit of carelessness or forget things and get into trouble. Then, you will be expected to get involved on an emergency basis to help them. An occasional help is okay, but if this becomes a norm then you should allow 40

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

such people to burn their hands and learn a harsh lesson. It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on things that are important to you.

Teach others how to do a specific job, but don't start doing their work.

Step-6: You should also learn to say no to tasks and projects that are not right for you, demeaning, or you know that you can’t do it. Do not take unnecessary challenges to impress others. Also, resist the urge to get involved just because you know how to do some tasks better than others. Let them learn the job the hard way.

Otherwise, they will never learn to stand on their own feet and you will have to be eternally present to assist them. I have seen cases where some people don't learn essential things like opening a door lock, switch off the electrical 41

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

mains,

remember

passwords,

and

other

important tasks.

Practice these six steps and soon you will begin to experience freedom to do the things you love and spend quality time with your passions. While saying yes or helping others is not a bad thing but if this behavior exhausts and consumes your entire life leaving no time, energy, or money for your own enjoyment then it's time to take a tough stand.

Finally, some quotes by famous people.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough - Josh Billings No is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation to follow. You can truly answer 42

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

someone’s request with a simple no - Sharon E. Rainey Sometimes no is the kindest word - Vironika Tugaleva.

Back to Contents

Don’t Ever Cosign a Loan. If the borrower like your friend, or family member misses payments the lender can come after you for the money and it will likely destroy your money and relationship. You may have cosigned out of friendship and trust years ago but that doesn’t mean you can repay their loan later.

43

Are you prepared for Old Age? Personal Development

E

verybody desires to live a long life of 100 years and even beyond. This is a natural

desire as most people want to see their children and grandchildren settled in life and have dreams of enjoying their company when they retire. But very few realize that this is just a pipe 44

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

dream or a fantasy. In reality, only very few people have such divine blessings of enjoying their life to the fullest with security, health, and love of their family members. And even such lovely examples may not be true behind closed doors.

The reality is harsh. Most elderly people are completely unprepared, physically and mentally, for what they are going to face when they get old and what potholes lies on the road ahead, especially after sixty years. Here is a scare list of what to expect when you grow old. So, depending on what is possible, one should start preparing for old age well in advance starting from the time they cross 50 years.

Trouble-1: The number of people you can depend on will reduce. Your wife or husband may 45

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

fall sick and die leaving you in vast emptiness and sorrow that only you must endure. Your earlier generation like parents, uncles, aunts, etc., would

have

also

departed.

The

younger

generation will not understand your pain and they will all be busy with their own lives, careers, friends, adventures, etc. You will have to learn how to live alone and to accept solitude.

Trouble-2: Society will no longer care for you regardless of how fantastic your career was or how famous you were. You will just become one more old man or woman. The spotlight you were accustomed to will no longer shine on you. Your opinions or presence will no longer matter even when you attend parties or family functions.

Trouble-3: The biggest risks are health problems. People above the age of sixty will now 46

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

be hit by problems like eye troubles, fractures, terminal diseases, digestion problems, weakness, and several other headaches that may make you bedridden. Unless you are rich enough to afford proper home medical care you will have to live with those ailments. You will now become a burden on your family members who will reluctantly take care of you. Your friends will not be able to help as they are also in your age group and will be facing similar problems.

Trouble-5: If you have money then there will be scammers who are eager to swindle you.

Those scammers could even be your own children or family members. This is because you now have to depend on them to get medicines, pension, spend on necessities, etc. Basically, all

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

they want is to get your money as they start thinking what use you have for all that money.

In addition to the above you may face several other kinds of troubles depending on where you stay. So, it’s better to start preparing for an old age early in life. Here are a few tips that can make your life a bit easier when you grow old.

Tip-1: Make a list of things that you can do yourself and a list that you have to depend on others. Think of innovative ways to reduce the things that you depend on others. For example, if you depend on a family member to drive you somewhere to meet your brothers, sisters, etc., then

learn

some

video

communicate with them.

48

conferencing

to

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Tip-2: Learn detachment. Read books on spirituality and how to let go. Learn to accept and ignore insults, criticism, and reluctance of your family members to help you. Yes, it’s painful to detach and let go. But you must learn. Or, you will become a nervous wreck.

Tip-3: Organize your finances and reduce them. Move all movable investments like bank accounts, fixed deposits, etc., to banks close to where you stay. If you have investments like real estate that you can’t manage sell them when you are healthy. For example, many people buy properties all over town and even out of town when they are young. But when they get old it will not be possible to visit those places to take care of them. Secondly, nobody will take you there is a need or whenever you want.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Tip-4: Organize your bedroom to have everything you need to spend lengthy time in solitude. For example, you can have your own TV, phone, computer, electronic gadgets, books, torches, medicines, water, paperwork, safety equipment, extra glasses, etc. Eliminate all unwanted stuff.

Tip-5: Prepare your will to distribute your wealth after you depart from earth. Don’t feel sad. Remember we came to earth empty handed and will also have to leave empty handed. This is nature’s design. Accept it gracefully.

In addition to the above tips take other precautions necessary depending on where you stay and what is possible or not possible there.

Basically, you have to learn to let go, endure pain, accept solitude, and accept nature’s crazy 51

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

design. You are not the only person facing these difficulties in old age. Millions are also in the same boat today, and millions of your ancestors have also experienced all these troubles. It’s all part of nature’s design over which we have no control. Besides, youngsters snubbing, ignoring, or criticizing you is also nature’s design. They will also get into the same boat a couple of decades later.

So, don’t bother. Do what you can with what you have where you are. Not invited to parties?

Don’t bother. Is no one talking to you? Don’t care.

Is

no

one

listening

to

your

wise

suggestions? Let them burn their hands. Watch the fun of others failing and getting wise. Take it easy. Life is a journey and we have good roads and bad roads to cross. Don’t brood over the 52

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

good old times. Nothing good or bad lasts forever. Unlike olden times, today you can spend time reading books, listening to radio, podcasts, watching

TV,

browsing

internet,

video

conferencing, etc. So, you will not be entirely lonely.

Some Famous Quotes Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune - William James Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like ― Lao Tzu

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it Ann Landers

Back to Contents

54

How to Retire Early?

Financial Management

A

re you one of those millions of employees’ worldwide who are above the age of 40?

Are you tired and stressed commuting to work?

Are you sick of workplace headaches like performance appraisals, productivity, endless meetings, bad bosses, threats of downsizing, etc?

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Are strange health problems knocking on your door?

If your answer to one or more of the above questions is yes, then you need to think of ways to retire in a few years time. Retirement in a few years? How is that possible? It’s still 20 years ahead and my current savings don’t allow me to retire now. What will I do for my monthly income and expenses? This is the typical response that everyone will give. But did you know that you can retire early if you start planning early? You don’t have to wait till 60 to retire. The simple answer to this is to start your own business.

Many experienced and competent people have dreams of starting their own business for various reasons like travel hassles, office politics, etc. But 56

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

they never take any steps to start their own business and continue to slog in their current employment for decades. This hesitation is because they start imagining all the difficulties associated with a business like they should have an office, hire employees, pay salaries, learn business and tax laws, etc. But did you know that you can start a small business without having any such big investments or headaches? Now how do you do that? The answer is to start a small freelance business that utilizes the knowledge and experience you have. This article will tell you how.

Take the Decision Starting your own business can be a scary thing. But don’t let your fears hold you back.

Start small and don’t quit your current job. Take 57

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

small baby steps without jeopardizing your regular job. Secondly, it’s not necessary to go around the world telling everyone that you are now an independent businessman or woman. As a Chinese proverb says, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Who knows where it may lead you? So, go ahead and make that tiny jump quietly without any fanfare.

Starting a business is also a personal adventure that gives you long term benefits and valuable connections.

Monetize your Knowledge If you have the skills, experience, passion, and energy for anything, then think of starting a small business even if it just earns only a few dollars a month. For example, if you are a writer 58

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

then think of writing and publishing small useful books. Today, it’s very easy to self-publish on Amazon and other top online sites and get a generous royalty for each sale. If you are a software programmer write useful tools that can be sold on the internet. If you know stuff like Yoga, Meditation, Gardening, etc., start a weekend coaching class for others in your neighborhood. Take it easy and don’t hurry.

Everyone has the same amount of time. The only difference is how you will spend your spare time.

Similarly, think of monetizing every skill you have. It can even be an offline business. For example, a retired teacher near my house, who was earning a pittance while in employment for decades, is now earning five times her salary by taking tuitions for high school kids by working 59

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

only three hours a day. Also, it’s not necessary to spend enormous amounts of time for your new business. You can spend an hour a day or on the weekends to slowly erect the building blocks for your business. Study books and articles on how others have started similar businesses to gain tips and avoid pitfalls.

Don’t invest huge sums of money or take loans unless you are sure that the idea will succeed or you have someone trustworthy and experienced who can guide you to be successful. So, always invest money that you can afford to lose in case your business bombs.

Think long term about why you are starting a business. If you are an employee anywhere you can be sure that someday your job will be restructured,

downsized, 60

or

outsourced

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

regardless of how indispensable you may think you

are.

Also,

nowadays

employers

hire

contractors, not employees. At the current trend, the majority of the experienced workforce or even college graduates will be asked to do freelance instead of getting full time jobs in the future.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. The problem is no one runs in your family Unknown

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You control your own destiny and make decisions. In other words, owning a business saves you from having to work for anyone else, maybe someday in the future. Be patient. Don’t assume that your business will take off within months. Even if it earns a few dollars a month let it continue.

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Get your family members to help. Show them the monetary benefits. Delegate whatever you can to them. Also, request your family members, relatives, and friends to spread the word about your business constantly.

Market your Services List your services on freelance sites like Fiverr if your skills match the kind of jobs that can be 63

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

done online. Also have a simple website that concisely outlines your products and services, and multiple ways to contact you like phones, emails, business cards, and social media options.

Avoid using those awful web forms to contact you as they don’t work properly. Some people make it difficult to contact them by giving only social media ids like Twitter or Facebook and provide no email id or phone. Customers cannot have meaningful communication if you use such methods.

If you are selling any product or services customers will want to know your prices immediately. Make it easy for them to know prices instantly like an Amazon product page.

Don’t play irritating marketing games like many companies websites normally do where it’s 64

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impossible for you to get the required details like specifications, cost, etc., quickly without first wading through several kilometers of jargon describing how great the company is, their fantastic ever smiling people, their immense passion for serving you, and so on.

Avoid

heavy

graphics,

tiny

fonts,

and

unwanted cosmetics. People want information fast and are no longer interested in seeing cartoons and advertisements popup on their webpages. If they can’t get the information, price, and contact details within a couple of minutes they will simply move to other websites regardless of the great information you may have dumped on your site.

Finally, we shall end this article with a quote

by Fabrizio Moreira who said, “Many people 65

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

dream about being an entrepreneur, starting their own business, working for themselves, and living the good life. Very few, however, will actually take the plunge and put everything they've got into being their own boss.”.

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Don’t Mess With computer settings. Don’t go changing default settings. “If it is not broke, don’t fix it.” People touch things they are not supposed to and cause problems. Most of the time if you just use your computer, and not fiddle with its settings, then your computer will run smoothly and without problems. This is the best computer tip that everyone should follow.

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The Power of Pausing Personal Development

M

r. R was a highly intelligent and productive manager. He had a great

solution for almost any workplace problem, would answer his emails or messages within minutes, and had many other efficient habits.

But his team members noticed a peculiar 67

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

behavior. Twice or thrice in the day, during busy office hours, he would be incommunicado and would lock himself in his cabin for about 15 minutes and not answer any phone or emails.

They thought he took a nap or was involved in some pressing personal issue. Finally, one of the curious team members asked him why he disappears like that every day. He laughed and said one of the secrets to his great productivity was the time he took every day to pause and apply brakes to his activities.

When pressed further he explained that he does nothing in those 15 minutes he disappears every day. He said, “For 10 to 15 minutes twice or thrice a day, I sit peacefully, I switch off, I relax, and think about nothing or minimize my thinking.

And I have been doing this for many years.”

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Basically, this was R’s quickie stress reduction method without the traditional meditation or yoga. He said this frequent pausing cooled his overheated brain, helped his creative juices flowing, and improved his speed and efficiency. It was like how farmers periodically sit in the cool shade for some time and energize themselves while working for several hours in the hot sun.

Even wild animals like lions and cheetahs practice this do-nothing method of cooling their bodies and charge their batteries to be ready for a burst of activity later.

Why is pausing required? - Today’s technical progress has become our blessing as well as a curse. Though we have tons of information at our fingertips we are also bombarded with emails, messages, calls, audio, and video from all 69

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directions. There is probably no smartphone has does not popup some notification every two minutes trying to grab our attention. But the downside of this is we can be overwhelmed by the endless information that is entering our eyes, ears, and brain.

But being always active is not necessarily productivity. For example, if you are writing a book

or

a

long

article

you

will

need

concentration and uninterrupted time. But if you are peeping into your smartphone every few seconds then you are doing your job in an inefficient and unproductive way. This is because every distraction will divert our attention and train of thoughts. Such distractions will limit your ability to concentrate and process information, which in turn will lower the quality of your work 70

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

and introduce mistakes. It’s like applying brakes on your car every 30 seconds to watch some passerby

or

billboard

smoothly.

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instead

of

driving

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

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How to pause? - Now let us look at how to introduce pausing in your life. For example, let us assume you are working in a hectic office constantly bombarded by phone calls, meetings, messages, and customers walking in.

While you may now have the youthful energy and knowledge to multitask in a hectic workplace, but over time such relentless activities can make you into a stressed and burnt out wreck. Once you cross 40 years you will begin to notice its terrible effects on your mind, body, and soul. This can cause problems not only for yourself but also to your family members, coworkers, neighbors, and even strangers, like when you get caught in a road rage issue.

So, starting today begin the following.

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 Make a conscious effort to switch off every two hours for 15 minutes and go to a quiet place. If you can’t find a quiet place just take a walk on the terrace or sit in the library or some other calm place.  When you are in that quiet place switch off all notifications on your phone and resist the desire to peep into it every few seconds.

Just sit quietly and don’t think or worry about anything, personal or official. Unstiffen yourself and feel your muscles and bones relaxing. If possible, keep your eyes closed during that time.  If you have been accustomed to a hectic lifestyle you may initially feel uneasy to sit and do nothing for 15 minutes. But this is a

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discipline that you need to cultivate for your long term good.  Slowly, over a few days you will get the hang of pausing frequently. It’s okay if you are unable to do it exactly at the same time every day due to some other unavoidable commitments or meetings. But initiate your pause the first opportunity you get.  Remember, this pause is not for a coffee break to chat with your coworkers and discuss the scary economy or office politics.

This also means NO reading a book, watching a video, or listening to some music on your phone. It’s a time for completely switching off and letting your brain cool down. Try it and you will not regret it.

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Finally, we shall end this article with a quote We understand that you can't work all day. In fact, a healthy dose of intellectual distraction is necessary for productivity. Theoretically, for all we know, there may even be statistics that prove two hours of actual work per day is enough to keep the world running smoothly - Unknown

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77

Writing and Publishing

T

his section is dedicated to the wonderful world of Writing & Publishing and covers topics on self and traditional publishing,

art of writing, formatting your print and eBooks, how and where to publish, marketing your book, and so on. Learn how the publishing industry 78

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

works and how to get your books published in Paperback and all eBook formats on all international sites.

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Fears of First Time Authors Writing and Publishing

A

ny aspiring writer wishing to write his or her first book will usually get hit by three fears.

The first fear is the belief that they will first require some special brains, or great talent, or some master’s degree from a top university to indulge in such writing activities. The second fear 80

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

is the scary imagination that their writings and ideas may be ridiculed by their friends, relatives, and strangers. The third fear is the belief that it is mandatory to write thick, detailed, or complex books with great flowery language in order to be classified as an author. As an aspiring author, you may also be troubled by the same three fears.

But let me immediately assure you that these three fears need not really scare you because all of them can be easily overcome as explained below. So, let us begin.

The

first

fear

can

be

overcome

by

understanding that you don’t need any ultraspecial brains or master degrees to become an author. Actually, anyone can become an author if they have some good knowledge and experience in any subject, patience, and some simple writing 81

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

skills. I recommend a concept called “being two to three steps ahead” for writing or coaching anyone. Let me explain through an example. For example, a fifth standard student can confidently teach a first standard student on how to write his homework or read a textbook. Similarly, a third or fourth year engineering or medical student can guide a first year student. This is possible because they are two to three steps ahead in their knowledge and experience. You can use the same concept for writing your book. For example, if you have worked in a chemical industry for many years, then you would have gained enormous knowledge that you can pass on to newcomers with your book. This is why I say you don’t need any ultra-special brains or a master’s degree to write a book. All you need is 82

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

to be two to three steps ahead of the reader that you are trying to coach or educate.

The second fear can be overcome by understanding that becoming an author is a long journey spanning months and years. No one can become a good author overnight or within a few weeks. Hence, there is no need to announce to the world with a trumpet that you are going to become an author by a certain date. Nor is it mandatory to display your beginner’s writings or ideas to anyone. You can keep your author aspiration and its scribbling a top secret until you are confident and comfortable with your own writing to show it to others. So, don’t rush for feedback from anyone as you start your journey.

It’s very easy to get discouraged if your initial

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amateurish writings gets laughed at or ridiculed by your friends or relatives.

The

third

fear

can

be

overcome

by

understanding that a majority of readers don’t want complicated books. Instead, they prefer simple and concise books that can help them understand or achieve what they want. For example, if you write a complicated book on stress management with heaps of complex medical jargon, deep psychology concepts, etc., then no one will be interested in reading it. But if you write a small book in a simple language with practical examples of how common people can reduce stress in their lives, then plenty of readers will be interested in reading it.

Let me give you an example of a useless book.

When I was in college there was a physics 84

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textbook written by an extremely intelligent professor. The theory explained in this book was quick and short. Each chapter also had a few easy and simple solved problems. But at the end of each chapter there were heaps of awfully complicated problems that no student could solve by reading the theory and examples provided in the same chapter. To make matters worse, only the odd-numbered problems had the answers (without the solution steps) printed at the end of the book. To make matters even worse, that professor would not solve those tough problems even in the classroom and expected the students to brainstorm and solve on their own.

So, the professor’s method was to help students to solve simple and easy problems, but 85

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

let the students tackle the tough ones without any clue on how to solve them. Secondly, due to his ferocious short temper no student would approach him for any assistance.

To summarize the story, it was a bad textbook written by an intelligent professor who was unable and unwilling to realize that he was a bad author as he was not interested in helping his readers. Soon every student realized they could pass no exam if they studied only that tough textbook.

Fortunately,

there

was

another

textbook written by some other professor containing detailed theory and fully solved problems explained beautifully, which every student would quietly buy to pass exams and the earlier tough textbook would just remain as an ornamental piece. So, remember it not always 86

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

necessary to write a 300-page complicated book to be classified as an author. Even if you write and publish a 60-page simple book on some subject, you will still be called an author.

So, go ahead and boldly write your first sentence and don’t let the three fears haunt you.

As a Chinese proverb says - The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

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88

Children Section

T

his section is dedicated to articles for children and also their own contributions.

You can submit articles, drawings, and

paintings done by your kids for consideration.

This is to encourage them to cultivate the awesome habit of writing and reading books and magazines, instead of thinking that their computers, smartphones, and tablets are only for playing games and chatting.

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Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

T

his section is dedicated to remembering the golden era of comics that lasted from the 1930s till the late 1980s. When we were

kids we didn’t have dozens of TV channels, Smartphones, Apps, Internet, Social Media, etc.

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Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

Our main sources of entertainment were movies in theaters, a radio set, books, magazines, playgrounds, and the wonderful world of comics.

Dozens and dozens of brilliant graphic comics would hit our magazine newsstands every month ranging from as low as 10 cents to 50 cents. The arrival of our favorite comic every month was always a gala affair that would send a thrilling chill down our spine. We even had awesome libraries that would lend us comics for a small fee.

Practically, every child on our planet grew up as diehard fans of various comic book heroes, heroines, and villains. Collecting and protecting our comics was a thrilling exercise, and we had to guard our precious comics from our mischievous

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friends, cousins, relatives, etc., who would vanish with our priceless treasures.

Each comic book’s hero, heroine, and villain would take us deep into their imaginary wonderland and make us laugh, cry, giggle, angry, and even get furious. The stories used to so great that countless comics could have been easily been made in super movies. Did you know that each comic were meticulously hand drawn and colored by those great comic artists as there were no graphic softwares like today?

Want to know how those golden comics looked? See the next few pages for some awesome covers. Some lucky grown up child will be having these lovely treasures stored in their

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attics or cupboards somewhere on our planet (sigh!).

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I am a Magnificent Mango Children Health

I

am a mango, a super flashy yellow colored fruit. Actually, I am the King of Fruits. I am

YUMMY,

SCRUMPTIOUS,

and

MOUTH

WATERING! None of my other fruit friends can match me in taste and benefits. I am a masterpiece of nature and guarantee it. I have a great reputation worldwide. I am an energy 97

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

packed fellow because I am loaded with goodies like minerals, vitamins, fibers, and proteins. This is why eating me can make your heart strong and boosts your strength like superman. I can also improve your eyesight so that you can see the blackboard clearly even if you are sitting in the last bench to throw paper balls. And did you know you can even eat my skin without any problem?

You will feel relaxed whenever you eat me. But do not eat too many of me because I will start burning your eyes and other body parts. This is because I am a secret hot volcano who will erupt in your stomach if you eat too many of me. So always drink a big glass of cold milk when you eat me.

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By the way, I also have plenty of other delicious friends who can help you in many ways.

Together we control the world of health. We are the jewels of your dining table. We come in all shapes, sizes and colors. We exist to make you humans happy. We help you avoid doctors and their expensive treatments like painful injections and bitter medicines. We can also make you run faster, jump higher and help you do great things in your school and college.

Do you want to know how we do all that magic? I will tell you how. We can do such wonderful things because some of us are good for your brain, some for your heart, some for your skin, and some for your bones, and so on.

We are like warriors and can easily fight with all those nasty troublemakers hiding in your body.

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Aren’t we fellows’ great? But if you don’t eat us then those horrible troublemakers will always make you sick, tired, and weak. Then you will not be able to play sports or climb a hill. Now I am sure you don’t want to be such a weakling, do you?

Okay, next month I will introduce another mighty friend of mine. Don’t run away!

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A Few Questions FAQs

How do we contact you?

Via

email

on

thejendra@yahoo.com

or

thejendrabs@gmail.com.

I am a writer and want to submit articles to your magazine. Will you accept it?

Yes, as long as the article is related to personal development topics. It would also be good if you have your own website, blog, etc., for readers to contact you. If you want to contribute regularly, then I would prefer you become my magazine

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subscriber. This link contains the submission details and template.

Do you pay for articles?

Not yet. This is still a new magazine and to pay you my circulation must improve. But I will provide a PDF copy of the magazine if I include your article in this magazine.

What kind of articles do you accept?

Your articles must be related to selfimprovement, stress management, leadership, management, writing, publishing, and so on. It must help the reader learn something useful for their life skills. Also, your article must be your own and not copied from anywhere. All images 102

Self Improvement International – October 2020 Issue

used must cite sources and must be free for personal and commercial usage. I can also consider publishing articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids to push them towards the habit of reading books and magazines.

Do you accept advertisements in your magazine?

Yes, you can have a half-page or a full-page advertisement. Half page is US$10 and full-page is US$20 (see samples next page). Authors can also advertise their books and its short summary for just US$5/-. For half page send a JPG or PNG file of size 5 inch x 3.75 inch and for full-page send a 5 inch x 7.5 inch size file.

I have some other questions.

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Just send me an email.

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About the Editor

Thejendra Sreenivas is an Author and Life Skills Coach and offers personalized coaching in Book Publishing and Personal Development. He has also written 20+ mild & wild books on a number of subjects. His inspiration for writing unique books comes from Toni Morrison who said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Please visit his web cave - www.thejendra.com for details of his books, magazine, and coaching information.

Check out his other unique books.

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Wealth of the Wise