Self Improvement International - November 2019

Self Improvement International November 2019 Issue

The Fine Art of Frequent Pausing Life Lessons for Children Avoid Writer Burnout and many more !!!

Wealth of the Wise

Self Improvement International Wealth of the Wise November 2019 Issue

Copyright Š Thejendra Sreenivas. All Rights Reserved

Self Improvement International November 2019 Issue Editor and Publisher - Thejendra Sreenivas Bangalore, India.

Website - www.thejendra.com Email - thejendra@yahoo.com & thejendrabs@gmail.com

Self Improvement International is a monthly electronic magazine edited and published by Thejendra Sreenivas on behalf of his private Seven Sages Consultancy, Bangalore, India.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems, or in any language without the written permission of the editor.

Licensing - This digital magazine is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not

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Single Issue: Rs 30 (India) & US$0.99 (Worldwide) Annual Subscription: Rs 360 (India) & US$9.99 (Worldwide) Single Issues are also available on Amazon Kindle

In this issue

From the Editor’s Desk

01

What my Lawyer makes me say

03

What Else?

05

The Fine Art of Frequent Pausing

07

Personal Development

Life Lessons for Children Personal Development

17

In this issue (cont’d) Handy Guide to Irritating People Stress Management

How to Avoid Writer Burnout Writing & Publishing

The Healing Power of Gems Spirituality

What is Gaslighting?

Stress Management

The Power of Fathers Self Improvement

What is Twitter?

Technology

29

34

43

62

69

75

In this issue (cont’d) The Good Old Days A Stunning Stereo Set

Children Section Writing & Publishing

Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

A Few Questions FAQs

About the Editor

82

84

85

93

99

From the Editor’s Desk

H

ey, thanks for subscribing to my unique and

delightful

International

Self

Improvement

magazine.

This

is

a

magazine to be read, retained, remembered, and re-read from your electronic bookshelf.

Each magazine carries a bunch of sparkling articles on Personal Development, Stress Management, Humor, Frugality, Leadership, Resiliency, Workplace Issues, Spirituality, Life Skills, Satire, Writing, Publishing, and an occasional Harsh Advice.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

Simplicity is the hallmark of this treasure chest. Unlike the hordes of dazzling magazines that you see in the newsstands the contents here are eye and eReader friendly, and not crowded with complex cosmetics, awesome advertisements, and gorgeous graphics that can distract or irritate your eyes. Like a basket of delicious fruits each issue can dramatically transform your personal and professional life.

Think of this magazine as your electronic personal coach who can make you superior to the rest of the crowd. Give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Back to Contents

2

What my Lawyer makes me say

D

isclaimer: Although this magazine has been prepared with utmost care, neither the author, publisher, seller, editor, or

any other party associated with this magazine can accept any liability for any direct or indirect damages caused by following the advice given here.

All opinions, ideas, and advice expressed here are largely my personal or the contributor opinions and don’t necessarily represent the opinion of any other organization or person, including my employer, my clients or their 3

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

agents. Any reference to any persons or businesses, whether living or dead, existing or defunct, is purely unintentional.

Self Improvement International cannot vouch for or certify the claims made by advertisers and is not liable for any cause of action arising out of such claims. All disputes are subject to the courts and competent forums in Bangalore, India only.

Images used in this magazine are from open image sources like Openclipart, Pexels, etc., that are free for personal and commercial use.

My full thanks and attribution to the respective artists.

Back to Contents 4

What Else?

W

ise men say that one should never have any desire for wealth and must always be prepared to lead a life of

virtuous poverty. Also, writing articles is viewed by many as a hobby that doesn’t deserve any compensation for the writer as they must write purely for the passion and not for money. But writing involves enormous effort and we don’t live on such magnanimous money-free planets. By becoming a subscriber to this magazine you help me create valuable 5

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

content for writers and executives. Thank you for being so generous.

Also, if you are a giving kind of person, then I am an accepting kind. So, if you have any unused excess wealth stashed away in Swiss Banks, Spare Jewels, Precious Gems, Spanish Gold Bars, Priceless Paintings, Rare Dinosaur Bones, Asteroid Pieces, Unused Rolls-Royce, Private Jets, Luxury Ships, or even an Exotic Island or Kingdom somewhere, please feel free to donate them to me along with all applicable taxes. Such humble gifts can nudge me to scribble more articles that could be of use to someone, somewhere on our lonely planet ď Š

Back to Contents 6

The Fine Art of Frequent Pausing Personal Development

M

r. R was a highly intelligent and productive manager. He had a great solution for almost any workplace

problem, would answer his emails or messages within minutes, and had many other efficient 7

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

habits. But his team members noticed a peculiar behavior. Twice or thrice in the day, during busy office hours, he would be incommunicado and would lock himself in his cabin for about 15 minutes and not answer any phone or emails. They thought he took a nap or was involved in some pressing personal issue. Finally, one of the curious team members asked him why he disappears like that every day. He laughed and said one of the secrets to his great productivity was the time he took every day to pause and apply brakes to his activities.

When pressed further he explained that he does nothing in those 15 minutes he disappears every day. He said, “For 10 to 15 minutes twice or thrice a day, I sit peacefully, I 8

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

switch off, I relax, and think about nothing or minimize my thinking. And I have been doing this for many years.�

Basically, this was R’s quickie stress reduction method without the traditional meditation or yoga. He said this frequent pausing cooled his overheated brain, helped his creative juices flowing, and improved his speed and efficiency. It was like how farmers periodically sit in the cool shade for some time and energize themselves while working for several hours in the hot sun. Even wild animals like lions and cheetahs practice this donothing method of cooling their bodies and charge their batteries to be ready for a burst of activity later.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

Why is pausing required? - Today’s technical progress has become our blessing as well as a curse. Though we have tons of information at our fingertips we are also bombarded with emails, messages, calls, audio, and video from all directions. There is probably no smartphone has does not popup some notification every two minutes trying to grab our attention. But the downside of this is we can

be

overwhelmed

by

the

endless

information that is entering our eyes, ears, and brain.

But being always active is not necessarily productivity. For example, if you are writing a book or a long article you will need concentration and uninterrupted time. But if you are peeping into your smartphone every 10

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

few seconds then you are doing your job in an inefficient and unproductive way. This is because every distraction will divert our attention

and

distractions

train

will

of

limit

thoughts. your

Such

ability

to

concentrate and process information, which in turn will lower the quality of your work and introduce mistakes. It’s like applying brakes on your car every 30 seconds to watch some passerby or billboard instead of driving smoothly.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

How to pause? - Now let us look at how to introduce pausing in your life. For example, let us assume you are working in a hectic office constantly

bombarded

by

phone

calls,

meetings, messages, and customers walking in.

While you may now have the youthful energy and knowledge to multitask in a hectic workplace, but over time such relentless activities can make you into a stressed and burnt out wreck. Once you cross 40 years you will begin to notice its terrible effects on your mind, body, and soul. This can cause problems not only for yourself but also to your family members, coworkers, neighbors, and even strangers, like when you get caught in a road rage issue.

So, starting today begin the following.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

 Make a conscious effort to switch off every two hours for 15 minutes and go to a quiet place. If you can’t find a quiet place just take a walk on the terrace or sit in the library or some other calm place.  When you are in that quiet place switch off all notifications on your phone and resist the desire to peep into it every few seconds. Just sit quietly and don’t think or worry about anything, personal or official. Un-stiffen yourself and feel your muscles and bones relaxing. If possible, keep your eyes closed during that time.  If you have been accustomed to a hectic lifestyle you may initially feel uneasy to sit and do nothing for 15 minutes. But

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

this is a discipline that you need to cultivate for your long term good.  Slowly, over a few days you will get the hang of pausing frequently. It’s okay if you are unable to do it exactly at the same time every day due to some other unavoidable commitments or meetings.

But

initiate

your

pause

the

first

opportunity you get.  Remember, this pause is not for a coffee break to chat with your coworkers and discuss the scary economy or office politics. This also means NO reading a book, watching a video, or listening to some music on your phone. It’s a time for completely switching off and letting your

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

brain cool down. Try it and you will not regret it.

Finally, we shall end this article with a quote - We understand that you can't work all day. In fact, a healthy dose of intellectual distraction is necessary for productivity. Theoretically, for all we know, there may even be statistics that prove two hours of actual work per day is enough to keep the world running smoothly Unknown

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16

Life Lessons for Children Personal Development

D

o you know why today’s parents appear to have more difficulties in raising their children than our earlier generations?

What has changed or is different today compared

to

the

difficulties

17

of

our

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

grandparent’s time who didn’t have the great facilities that we have today?

The typical answers that today’s parents give are like - Bringing up children in today’s modern times is more challenging due to the competition

that

starts

as

early

as

kindergarten because of intense academic pressure, or they blame it on media, social networking, and easy access to electronic gadgets. Or, they will blame it on peer pressure. For example, if one child joins some coaching like swimming, tennis, or some other activities, then the parents of other children feel that they also need to send their kids or pressurize them to attend classes. It’s called the “Keeping up with the Joneses syndrome”.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

But is this behavior right? How long can one fall

prey

to

such

peer

pressure

and

comparison? While some amount of peer comparison is unavoidable or necessary, the major blame actually lies with today’s parents and the wrong way they bring up children, either knowingly or unknowingly.

The reason why I am putting a large percentage of blame on the parents is due to the following mistakes or way of thinking.

Today’s parents think it’s mandatory to fulfill all their children’s desires. They fear that their children will not love them if they don’t say yes to everything they demand. Or they justify pampering by claiming their parents were unable or unwilling to fulfill their desires due to lack of money or availability of 19

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

technological goodies at that time. But today they need not worry about such issues as they are capable of affording them for their kids.

Secondly, many items like smartphones or even expensive vacations can be obtained through easy monthly installments. So, why worry? Give them the best.

Unfortunately, over time such protective and spendthrift behaviors will only create spoiled brats and spineless sissies who will be unable or unwilling to handle the harsh world when they grow up. This is also the reason why children are now becoming snooty, arrogant, selfish, obese, argumentative, and spend money recklessly.

So, what can parents do? The answer is to start teaching valuable life lessons to their 20

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

children starting from an early age. Why early age? This is based on the proverb that a tree that is not growing straight can’t be bent after it grows fully. It can only be bent when it is young. Similarly, children can’t be easily corrected to the right path once they become teenagers and higher. Their life lessons education has to start as early as 5 years or earlier. So, what are these life lessons?

Lesson-1: Teach your kids that they can’t always have everything they desire in life. Even if you can afford something they desire go slow and make them wait. This will teach them the valuable art of patience.

Lesson-2: Start financial literacy concepts from an early age. Limit their pocket money even if you can pay ten times more. Reward 21

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

them for saving money and not for spending it. This is a lesson they will need for the rest of their lives and to handle their rainy days in the future.

Lesson-3: Do not over feed them. Limit their junk food intake. This will only make them lazy, fat, and get health problems from an early age. Eating less food or the right amount or tolerating hunger is not going to kill them.

In fact, they will become healthier than before they were overfed.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

Lesson-4: Don’t immediately say yes to everything they desire like gadgets, toys, vacations, shoes, sports stuff, etc. Make them earn it.

Lesson-5: Do not assume that you are unnecessarily harassing your children even when you can easily afford the small things they desire or demand. They must learn the art of patience, art of letting go, art of giving up, art of waiting, art of saving, art of sweating, and so on. All these life lessons will help them over time and when you are no longer available for them.

Lesson-6:

Frequently

tell

them

that

whatever you are spending on them is a loan and not a gift, and they have to repay you when they start earning. While this may seem 25

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

funny it also embeds a lesson that life is about give and take and one must repay their debts to parents and society. Take them to orphanages or slums to show how blessed they are.

Lesson-7: Teach them cost benefit analysis.

For example, you can buy a good smartphone with dozens of features for US$200, or a smartphone with the same features for US$1000+ just because it has a fancy brand name. So, teach them to make such analysis before succumbing to their desires and tantrums of an expensive phone just because their rich friends have one.

Lesson-8: The final lesson is “Take it or Leave it� weapon that you must use when they become too demanding like not eating the 26

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

food you prepare at home, or demanding for expensive stuff when cheaper alternatives are available, or other irrational tantrums. Do not become a plastic parent who will melt when things become hot. If you are the breadwinner just ensure that you provide the basic food, clothing, and shelter to your family. Do not assume that you have to slog 24x7 to keep your kids happy and fulfill all their endless desires. If they want cheese, butter, and honey with the bread that you provide tell them to earn it.

To summarize the story, parents should learn to say no without any explanations or regret. Harden yourself to tolerate your children’s

grumbling,

moaning.

Remember, you are not forcing 27

whimpering,

and

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

them into poverty for fun but are only teaching them how to handle hardships. They will not understand now but will appreciate it when they grow older. Secondly, all medicines cannot be sweet. Thirdly, the one who pays make the rules.

Finally, we can conclude this article with a couple of Chinese quotes they must remember for life.

What seems like a blessing may be a curse, and what seems like a curse may be a blessing.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

Back to Contents

28

Handy Guide to Irritating People Stress Management

Do you know what is the biggest cause of stress and anxiety in our lives other than the 24x7 toxic TV and social media news? It’s those negative people in our lives like friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers. They come in all shapes and sizes constantly drilling and filling our mind with negativity. Here is a small handy list for you to recognize such irritating people.

Perennial Criticizers

Usually seen in political party opposition spokespersons whose job is only to constantly find fault and criticize the government. They will criticize and condemn everything and can never look at it objectively to 29

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

discriminate between right and wrong.

They believe they know everything, others are stupid, and that you should conform to their wisdom.

Super Advisors

These armchair commandos, paper tigers, and unmarried marriage counsellors can't take care of themselves or their own families, but will have great advice to anyone and everyone. They can give advice on how to run the government, wage wars, improve economy, reduce crime, handle global issues, run a company, and so on. You will usually see such folks in TV studios giving great interviews to journalists.

Constant complainers

To these folks nothing is right on the world. Whether it is the economy, government, weather, neighbors, coworkers, traffic, etc, etc. They can instantly find a dozen faults with everything without giving any practical solutions. For them nobody is doing their job well, nobody is honest, 30

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

and nothing is acceptable in the world.

They know how to magnify something beyond the limits of truth. Usually found in shady media and journalists who love to claim that a tiger was seen when it was just a cat passing by.

Exaggerators For example, they will claim that thousands of people were involved in a violent protest when the fact would be just a few dozen indulging in throwing paper balls and screaming their lungs out.

Usually found in the leftist media and their stooges in social networking sites who love to spread fake news, rumors, and lies to get some mischievous pleasure or do hit jobs on the government. Such people constantly spread wrong information that are malicious, unfounded, and defaming.

Pessimists

Their focus is always on the negatives aspects of everything. They are the doomsday merchants who will suck 31

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

your life and positivity out within a few minutes of interaction. Unless you want to become a nervous wreck get them out of your life now.

Dominance specialists

These folks believe they possess some superior wisdom and think they can never be wrong or do mistakes. They will give unsolicited advice to everyone including other experts like seasoned doctors on how exactly they should treat a patient. They want the world to conform to their views.

Worry Masters

They are experts at worrying. They are always worried about the future, worried about losing their jobs, worried about what they will be doing five years down the line, and so on.

They want guarantees from everyone and want to plan their future perfectly in a way that nothing can go wrong.

Health Worriers

These are people who constantly grumble about some health issue and don’t know how to tolerate or accept 32

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

natural health issues that happen over time. They will be trying endless medicines, health tips, asking for new doctor recommendations, etc. If you listen to them you will start getting panic attacks about your own health.

Filthy ones

These are usually our college last benchers who take joy in endlessly forwarding vulgar jokes, booze jokes, cheap double meaning jokes, and so on. It’s embarrassing or even dangerous to invite them to your house for an occasion.

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33

How to Avoid Writer Burnout Writing & Publishing

W

riter’s Burnout - Every Indie or Traditional published author will one day

face

this

situation.

Writer’s

burnout is a feeling of severe exhaustion, depletion, lack of inspiration, and motivation to write. It’s a time when you feel like giving 34

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

up as you believe your ideas have dried up or maybe writing isn’t worth publishing. Writer’s burnout lasts longer than a regular writer’s block and is a lot harder to overcome.

Why does it happen? – Writer’s burnout and losing interest can happen for many reasons like when your books don’t sell in spite of putting in Herculean efforts. It can also happen for reasons like, Lack of rest especially if your primary job is writing, Feeling undervalued

when

nobody

notices

or

appreciates your work, Lack of financial rewards for your efforts, Working too many hours a day, No real world social life, Unable to delegate, and so on.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

How to reduce burnout? – Here are a few suggestions to eliminate or reduce your burnout.  Recognize the Problem - This might sound so obvious but recognizing or accepting that you are burned out is the first step towards some action. If you are unable or unwilling to accept that you are in trouble then it becomes difficult for you to try any solution or accept constructive criticism.  Clear your desk - A cluttered workspace impacts your state of mind. But a neat desk will help you stay focused and clear.

So, get rid of all stuff that you don’t need and keep only the absolute necessities. You will experience a feeling 36

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

of energetic fresh air when your desk is uncluttered.  Make diet and lifestyle changes - Avoid sugar and caffeine. Drink enough water and get adequate sleep. Take nutritional supplements. Learn meditation and start exercises. Take a long walk or cycle in the greenery. It’s okay if you don’t write for a couple of days. The world won’t end.  Write when relaxed - When you are burnout your writing will also be crap as your brain will be exhausted. So, ask yourself if you want to produce shoddy output by forcing yourself to write, or create vibrant output when you are feeling relaxed and energetic.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

 Don’t get depressed - Writing is an intense hobby that can make you its prisoner if you are not careful. It can take a heavy toll on your mind, body and spirit. Many authors often get depressed and get their hopes dashed when they see their books are not selling well. So, be cautious and do not go crazy chasing your wild dreams, which may or may not materialize.

Don’t

strain

yourself

mentally, physically or financially with your marketing efforts as it can become an obsession to constantly brood about your book sales.  Learn from others - If you read some author interviews or comments on the internet, you will notice they would have 40

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

become extremely obsessed with their work and are slowly burning themselves out. Do not make this mistake yourself.  Take it easy - Have patience and learn to have a detached approach. It may take years to achieve success or it may never come. Become a realist and don’t let a hobby ruin your life or peace of mind.

Remember you took up this writing hobby to get some peace of mind and relaxation.  Parallel options - Your hobby should not start giving you stress, backaches, headaches, anxiety, etc. So, don’t allow this hobby to engulf your life or have a stranglehold on you. And don’t put the rest of your life on hold while you’re 41

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

waiting for that great author dream to fulfill. Not all dreams come true. Be open to alternatives and options if your book dream does not succeed. It’s wrong to reject the numerous money earning options that may cross your path while you are chasing this dream.

Finally, we can end this article with a great quote - If you've tried everything possible to get an outcome, and it just hasn't worked out as planned, stop trying so hard. Relax. Maybe the timing's not right. Maybe it wasn't in your best interests. Maybe while one door seems to be closing, another is opening - Robin S. Sharma.

Back to Contents 42

The Healing Power of Gems Spirituality

M

ost people think gems like diamonds, sapphire, pearls, emeralds, etc., are just shiny material suitable only for jewelry.

But did you know that these gems also have mysterious spiritual powers that can attract good and bad energies to the person wearing 43

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

them? With today’s scientific advancements this may sound foolish or superstitious. But whether you believe it or not gems do have certain powers that can attract good and even bad influences. And this has been discovered and documented from ages by our ancestors.

For example, there are countless stories of diamonds brining bad luck to many people.

While

you

may

brush

superstition

our

wise

them

away

forefathers

as

have

discovered certain cosmic patterns with all gems that can bring good vibes to the person wearing them. Through the ages, gemstones have also been used to heal many physical and mental ills as gems hold metaphysical powers to alter our moods. And birthstones have the highest influence on a person’s wellbeing.

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Gemstones have been linked to the various zodiac signs and date of birth from thousands of years. These precious and semiprecious stones have the power to absorb certain positive and repel negative energies that exist around us. It’s not only Indians who have discovered the power of gems. Many countries like China, Egypt, etc., have also discovered the mysterious powers of gems. Depending on the month you were born there are specific gems that can help you.

How do gems work? - Many people do not believe in the healing power of gems. To understand this you need to take a different route. For example, a piece of glass in a specific shape can cure eye defects and partial blindness. If you are wondering how just image 45

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

an eye doctor who prescribes prescription glasses for your eye defect. As soon as the right powered glass is brought near your defective eyes you will immediately see the world clearly, isn’t it? Similarly, if the appropriate birthstone touches your skin it’s able to attract certain cosmic energies that can heal your ailments or soul. So, do not assume usage of gems is plain superstition created by jewelers to make money. The properties of gems have been independently verified by countless astrologers and have benefitted millions of people.

The next several pages will outline the various common gems and their properties.

Though it is common to associate certain gems with a particular month not every country’s 46

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

astrologers use the exact month. For example, Indian astrologers look at many other factors like birth star, date, planetary positions, gender, etc., to arrive at the correct gemstone to be used for a person. However, the below list will give you a high level overview of the capabilities of each kind of gemstone.

January Born (Red Garnet) - If you were born in January then the red garnet is your birthstone. This is one of the oldest and most popular gemstones and also comes in other colors like green, black, and shades of orange.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

It has the power to regenerate and energize the entire system. It can also heal various blood

diseases,

break

fevers,

reduce

inflammation, and prevent depression. It can speed up the healing process because they cleanse and reenergize your chakras (the seven wheels of energy throughout our body).

Wearing it encourages your creativity, courage, and balance.

February Born (Amethyst) - If you were born in February the Amethyst is your birthstone. It’s violet or purple in color and has 48

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

the power to focus energy and is often worn by healers. It can steady or control a restless mind and bring mental and emotional wellbeing. Buddhists believe that it can enhance tranquility and peace during meditation. It also brings peace to the wearer as it reduces anxiety and negativity.

March Born (Aquamarine) - If you were born in March then Aquamarine is your birthstone. It is pale blue in color and associated with the throat chakra. It can shield your aura and align the chakras. It can even 49

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

calm the soul, bring mental clarity, calm the nervous system, ease anxiety, and release negative energy from the wearer. It can also regulate hormones, boost the immune system and control overreactions.

April Born (Diamond) - If you were born in April then Diamond is your birthstone. Its beauty and brilliance is unparalleled among all the birthstones and is also very expensive.

Diamonds are considered as a symbol of purity, innocence, eternity, and courage. In Sanskrit, the diamond is called ‘Vajra’ which 50

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

means lightning. In Hindu mythology, Vajra was the weapon of Indra, the king of gods. In ancient times, diamonds were also believed to be tears of the Gods. It’s an energy amplifier and can bring clarity to all that you do. It can awaken intuition, stimulate the higher mind, and raise your awareness to the light that shines within you.

A diamond can unclutter a cluttered mind and energize a depressed heart. Diamonds can also control dizziness and vertigo. But a diamond is a dangerous gem and should not be worn by all regardless of its qualities. This is because a diamond can increase negative energy and attract bad luck for those who should not wear it. It should never be

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

purchased as an ordinary jewel even if you can afford it.

Hence, a diamond should be worn only after consulting multiple qualified astrologers to see if they are suitable for you. Even if they suit you, many astrologers ask you to test and observe it for a couple of weeks to see if any bad things happen during that time. If you experience bad things then they will suggest you to drop the idea of wearing a diamond.

May Born (Emerald) - If you were born on May then Emerald is your birthstone. It is 52

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

green in color, associated with the heart chakra, and a powerful healing gem. Its magical properties include peace, harmony, love, honesty, and good fortune. Wearing it can treat heart disorders, lungs, spine, nerves and muscular system. It can also aid in recovery from infectious illness, sinuses and soothe the eyes to improve vision. It also has a detoxifying effect on the liver and reduces diabetes and rheumatism.

June Born (Pearl) - If you were born in June then your birthstone is Pearl. This gem can be used to treat digestive disorders, soft organs 53

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

of the body, and also improve the skin. It can also relieve bloating and prevent ulcers. Pearls can also increase fertility and ease childbirth.

Other healing properties of the pearl include reduction in stress, headache, hypertension, exhaustion, and prevent heart attacks.

July Born (Ruby) - If you were born in July then your birthstone is Ruby. Ruby has an internal flame that cannot be extinguished and is thought to bring fire into the wearer’s life through

love,

passion,

motivation,

and

imagination. Traditionally, the ruby has been 54

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

regarded by ancient Hindus as the ‘King of Gems’ and was believed to protect its wearer from evil. Rubies are believed to grow deeper in color when the owner is in danger. Ruby removes negative energies from your path. It also helps you to overcome exhaustion, lethargy and improves vigor. Ruby can also detoxify the body, blood and lymphatic system. Rubies also help in preventing nightmares and improve lucid dreaming.

Wearing a ruby can bring the owner a secure peaceful

life

and

resist

behaviors.

55

self-destructive

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

August Born (Peridot) - If you were born in August then your birthstone is Peridot. This gem exists in shades of lemon-green to olive, and bright lime is the most treasured. Peridot is considered as a visionary stone that helps the wearer understand their existence and destiny. It can also strengthen the immune system, metabolism and benefit the skin. You will be able to successfully ward off evil, enchantments and depression if you wear peridot. This stone sooths your worries and

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

tames your fears and is the perfect gem to wear during stressful times.

September Born (Sapphire) - If you were born in September then your birthstone is Sapphire. The medium-dark blue is the most treasured color of sapphire, but the stone also exists in other colors like purple, pink, yellow, green, and orange. Each individual color of sapphire has its own magical and healing powers. This is traditionally a favorite stone of priests and kings. The sapphire symbolizes purity, wisdom and a better understanding of the future. It can treat blood disorders, combat 57

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

excessive bleeding and strengthen the walls of the veins. They are used for cellular disorders, regulate the glands and calm overactive body systems.

October Born (Opal) - If you were born in October then your birthstone is Opal. This stone can ward off evil and protect eyesight.

Opals also represent hope, creativity and innocence. Opal increases the will to live, strengthens memory, treat infections, fevers, cleanse the blood and kidneys, and regulate insulin. Wearing an opal is energizing and enlivening.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

November Born (Yellow Topaz) - If you were born in November then your birthstone is Yellow Topaz. This stone is a stone of strength, power, and protection. Since it is ruled by the sun it bestows abundance and practicality. It also aids in stimulating intelligence and creativity. As a healing stone, it brings a sense of balance to the wearer, relieves tension, reduces stress, and harmonizes emotions. The stone is associated with the navel chakra and therefore

helps

the

wearer

feel

empowered and improves will power.

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more

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

December Born (Turquoise) - If you were born in December then your birthstone is Turquoise. Turquoise has long been considered a healing stone by many cultures. Ancient practitioners believed that turquoise can change color when the wearer was ill or in danger. The stone aids in absorption of nutrients, enhances the immune system, stimulate the regeneration of tissue, and heal the whole body. When worn near a body part that is in pain, this energetic stone is said to absorb

negative

energies.

Bracelets

of

turquoise can detoxify the blood as it flows 60

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under it. It also neutralizes excess of acidity in the body, reduces rheumatism, gout, stomach problems, and viral infections.

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What is Gaslighting?

Stress Management

G

aslighting, you may have heard this strange term frequently these days, especially in social media, by journalists,

feminists, etc. Now what exactly is gaslighting?

It doesn’t mean lighting some gas stove, but actually is an invented word for the describing 62

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emotional abuse. As you are aware, emotional abuse is quite widespread worldwide and happens

between

husband-wife,

boss-

subordinate, teacher-student, or between anyone where there is a power imbalance. It happens when one person makes another person feel that they are losing their abilities, confidence, self-esteem, etc. This word was taken from an old movie Gaslight, convinces the wife that she is going insane.

How does it work? - Like all abuse, it is based on the need for power and control over somebody. Gaslighters try to convince the victim that something is true or untrue when the opposite is the correct version using fear, anger, shouting, laughing, or some other emotional manipulation. Basically, they use 63

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some trick to make the victim feel they are going mad or reduce their self-confidence and make them dependent on the gaslighter.

They isolate the victim and withhold information. Or they prey on the victim’s vulnerabilities. They accuse the victim to be the root cause of some problem, whether they are related or not. They gang up other people against the victim to bully them into submission.

How to control it? – If you are a victim of gaslighting by someone then you should learn how to get out of that mess gradually. Or else you will self-destruct. Here are some ways to escape from that prison.

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Knowledge is power - Read books, news, social media sources, history, etc. Listen to podcasts and see videos of experts. Don’t depend on your inner circle of people only for your knowledge. Even if someone tells you something verify it independently.

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Stress management - It’s not always possible to subdue a gaslighter due to the power or influence they may have. For example, you may have a cranky boss that you can’t get rid of. So, learn some stress management techniques to detoxify yourself periodically.

Take it easy - Don’t take life too seriously.

At the end of the day forcefully erase all the negative feelings and go to bed peacefully regardless of the nuisances you have had during the day. Read or listen to jokes and funny stuff to calm down.

Independence - Stand on your own feet.

Don’t believe that you always have to depend on someone for your life. Everyone will have to part ways someday. There comes a time to 67

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decide who stays and who goes out of your life. With knowledge comes power, confidence, and money to take independent decisions.

Money - Learn to save and grow money. If you have to depend on others for your money then you will always be held hostage. But if you have money and the necessary knowledge it will make you vibrant and confident.

In a similar way, there are other valuable techniques to prevent becoming a victim of gaslighting and losing your self-esteem.

Finally, we can end this article with a Japanese proverb - Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

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The Power of Fathers Self Improvement

M

others have always been recognized and appreciated for the enormous role they play in the physical, psychological,

and emotional rearing of children. But what is rarely discussed and even supressed is the immense roles of the father. This is why many 69

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

people think that a father’s role is just to provide financial stability, paying the bills, fixing your bike, and be a nice handyman around

the

house.

Such

thinking

gets

engrained because the women empowerment hysteria being peddled in the media gives extraordinary importance and indispensability to mothers and downgrades the immense role of fathers.

But the importance of fathers is more to be experienced than just discusssed. Studies have shown that children who have an involved father have higher IQs and general knowledge than those who do not.

For example, a supportive, funny, and communicative father can give superior life 70

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

lessons to their children than mothers. Fathers can also teach the do’s and don’t of the harsh outside world better than mothers.

A firm and responsible father is a stronger pillar in the development of a child’s emotional well-being as it is he who lays down the rules the home rules and enforces them.

This is very important as it will provide a feeling of security and inner strength to children and they will try to emulate him So, children will model themselves after their father’s character in their later life.

In a similar way, a responsible father is a life long inspiration for every child throughout his or her life. Finally, we can conclude this article

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with a great poem on fathers written by an amazing person.

4 years old: My daddy can do anything.

5 years old: My daddy knows a whole lot.

6 years old: My dad is smarter than your dad.

8 years old: My dad doesn’t know exactly everything.

10 years old: In the olden days, when my dad grew up, things were sure different.

12 years old: Oh, well, naturally, Dad doesn’t know anything about that. He is too old to remember his childhood.

14 years old: Don’t pay any attention to my dad. He is so old- fashioned.

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21 years old: Him? My Lord, he’s hopelessly out-of-date.

25 years old: Dad knows about it, but then he should, because he has been around so long.

30 years old: Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks. After all, he’s had a lot of experience.

35 years old: I’m not doing a single thing until I talk to Dad. 40 years old: I wonder how Dad would have handled it. He was so wise.

50 years old: I’d give anything if Dad were here now so I could talk this over with him.

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Too bad I didn’t appreciate how smart he was. I could have learned a lot from him.

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What is Twitter?

Technology

T

witter is a social networking site launched in 2006 and one of the topmost popular social media platforms available today. It

has more than 100 million active users and millions of tweets are exchanged daily. Twitter can be used to receive news, follow high75

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

profile celebrities, politicians, government offices, service providers, friends, or practically any organization that has a twitter account.

Rather than a social networking site it has now become an instant online news platform where every major news in the world gets released, debated, and forwarded within seconds.

How to get it? – Just visit www.twitter.com and create a free account and a unique twitter name. Then you can see other interesting people and companies there.

How to use it? – Twitter is easy to use as either broadcaster or receiver. To start using just type and send your message (called tweets daily) in the “What’s happening” window available once you log in. You can post messages every minute, or hour, or as 76

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

frequently as you like as long as you don’t tweet the exact message repeatedly within a few minutes to prevent system abuse. But you can send the same message again after a few hours. Your messages are visible to anyone who follows you, and is also visible to those who don’t follow you if add an extra text called a trending hashtag to your message. To receive other people’s Twitter feeds, find someone interesting and press Follow to subscribe to their tweets. If their tweets aren't interesting select Unfollow. You can also click on the trending hashtags to read tweets about a particular topic.

Twitter has a message size restriction to 280 characters or less. This size limit promotes the clever and concise use of language, and 77

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

challenging to write. This size restriction is what made Twitter a popular social tool. A tweet can be read within seconds instead of a reading long Facebook posts or blogs on the same topic.

How Twitter is normally used?

By Marketers - Twitter is a very helpful platform

for growing a

following

and

providing your audience with useful content to your customers. The character limit can help you create short interesting advertisements with images and videos. If someone mentions one of your products or services, you can "like" or "retweet" their comment. Alternatively, if customers complains about your products and services on Twitter, you can reach out to rectify the situation in real-time.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

By Reporters - Twitter can be used to spread breaking news quickly and is even faster than traditional

media

as

you

can

spread

groundbreaking information instantly from your smartphone. For example, when the US Airways plane crash-landed in the Hudson River some years ago, the news was first spread on Twitter before many media outlets could get it.

By Celebrities - Twitter is also used by most film stars, singers, and other famous people to build a personal connection with their fans.

Instead of revealing their email or phone numbers they can communicate with their fans via twitter.

By All Others – Almost all companies, service providers, banks, police, political 79

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

parties, prime ministers, presidents, politicians, government offices, FBI, and even armies now have a verified twitter account. They can quickly post public required information instantly to their followers and the world.

So, go ahead and get your twitter account today.

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The Good Old Days A Stunning Stereo Set

Back to Contents 82

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Children Section

T

his section is dedicated to articles for children and also their own contributions.

You can submit articles, drawings, and

paintings done by your kids for consideration.

This is to encourage them to cultivate the awesome habit of writing and reading books and magazines, instead of thinking that their computers, smartphones, and tablets are only for playing games and chatting.

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Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

T

his section is dedicated to remembering the golden era of comics that lasted from the 1930s till the late 1980s. When we

were kids we didn’t have dozens of TV channels, Smartphones, Apps, Internet, Social Media, etc.

Our main sources of entertainment were movies in theaters, a radio set, books, magazines, playgrounds, and the wonderful world of comics. Dozens and dozens of brilliant

graphic

comics

would

hit

our

magazine newsstands every month ranging from as low as 10 cents to 50 cents. The arrival of our favorite comic every month was always 85

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

a gala affair that would send a thrilling chill down our spine. We even had awesome libraries that would lend us comics for a small fee.

Practically, every child on our planet grew up as diehard fans of various comic book heroes, heroines, and villains. Collecting and protecting our comics was a thrilling exercise, and we had to guard our precious comics from our mischievous friends, cousins, relatives, etc., who would vanish with our priceless treasures.

Each comic book’s hero, heroine, and villain would take us deep into their imaginary wonderland and make us laugh, cry, giggle, angry, and even get furious. The stories used to so great that countless comics could have 86

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

been easily been made in super movies. Did you know that each comic were meticulously hand drawn and colored by those great comic artists as there were no graphic softwares like today?

Want to know how those golden comics looked? See the next few pages for some awesome covers. Some lucky grown up child will be having these lovely treasures stored in their attics or cupboards somewhere on our planet (sigh!).

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Watch out for more awesome covers in next month’s issue.

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92

A Few Questions FAQs

How do we contact you?

Via

email

on

thejendra@yahoo.com

or

thejendrabs@gmail.com.

I am a writer and want to submit articles to your magazine. Will you accept it?

Yes, but with some conditions like you must have your own website, blog, and preferably be a self-published author with your books available on amazon and other sites. If you want to contribute regularly, then I would prefer you become my magazine subscriber.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

This link contains the submission details and template.

Do you pay for articles?

Not yet. This is still a new magazine and to pay you my circulation must improve. But I will provide a PDF copy of the magazine if I include your article in this magazine.

What kind of articles do you accept?

Your articles must be related to selfimprovement, stress management, leadership, management, writing, publishing, and so on. It must help the reader learn something useful for their life skills. Also, your article must be your own and not copied from anywhere. All 94

Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

images used must cite sources and must be free for personal and commercial usage. I can also consider publishing articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids to push them towards the habit of reading books and magazines.

Do you accept advertisements in your magazine?

Yes, you can have a half-page or a full-page advertisement. Half page is US$10 and fullpage is US$20 (see samples next page).

Authors can also advertise their books and its short summary for just US$5/-. For half page send a JPG or PNG file of size 5 inch x 3.75 inch and for full-page send a 5 inch x 7.5 inch size file.

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Self Improvement International – November 2019 Issue

I have some other questions.

Just send me an email.

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About the Editor

Thejendra Sreenivas is an Author and Life Skills Coach and offers personalized coaching in Book Publishing and Personal Development. He has also written 20+ mild & wild books on a number of subjects. His inspiration for writing unique books comes from Toni Morrison who said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Please visit his web cave - www.thejendra.com for details of his books, magazine, and coaching information.

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Books by the Editor

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Books by the Editor

101

Books by the Editor

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Books by the Editor

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Past Issues of this Magazine

I hope you enjoyed the ride. If you liked this magazine please coax all your friends to subscribe.

For Subscription Visit

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Wealth of the Wise