Self Improvement International - January 2020

Self Improvement International January 2020 Issue What is Reverse Psychology?

Stop Living for Others Authors who didn’t Quit and many more !!!

Wealth of the Wise

Self Improvement International Wealth of the Wise January 2020 Issue

Copyright Š Thejendra Sreenivas. All Rights Reserved

Self Improvement International January 2020 Issue Editor and Publisher - Thejendra Sreenivas Bangalore, India.

Website - www.thejendra.com Email - thejendra@yahoo.com & thejendrabs@gmail.com

Self Improvement International is a monthly electronic magazine edited and published by Thejendra Sreenivas on behalf of his private Seven Sages Consultancy, Bangalore, India.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems, or in any language without the written permission of the editor.

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In this issue

From the Editor’s Desk

01

What my Lawyer makes me say

03

What Else?

05

How to Become a Morning Person

07

Personal Development

Stop Living for Others Personal Development

16

In this issue (cont’d) The Power of Higher Patience Stress Management

Authors who didn’t Quit Writing & Publishing

How to Reduce Useless Meetings Workplace Management

What is Reverse Psychology?

People Management

How to Rejuvenate Yourself Stress Management

27

36

44

56

64

In this issue (cont’d) What is LinkedIn? Technology

Children Section Writing & Publishing

Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

A Few Questions FAQs

About the Editor

74

84

85

93

99

From the Editor’s Desk

H

ey, thanks for subscribing to my unique and

delightful

Self

Improvement

International magazine. This is a magazine to be read, retained, remembered, and re-read from your electronic bookshelf. Each magazine carries a bunch of sparkling articles on Personal Development, Stress Management, Humor,

Frugality,

Leadership,

Resiliency,

Workplace Issues, Spirituality, Life Skills, Satire, Writing, Publishing, and an occasional Harsh Advice.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Simplicity is the hallmark of this treasure chest. Unlike the hordes of dazzling magazines that you see in the newsstands the contents here are eye and eReader friendly, and not crowded with complex cosmetics, awesome advertisements, and gorgeous graphics that can distract or irritate your eyes. Like a basket of delicious fruits each issue can dramatically transform your personal and professional life.

Think of this magazine as your electronic personal coach who can make you superior to the rest of the crowd. Give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Back to Contents

2

What my Lawyer makes me say

D

isclaimer: Although this magazine has been prepared with utmost care, neither

the author, publisher, seller, editor, or any other party associated with this magazine can accept any liability for any direct or indirect damages caused by following the advice given here.

All opinions, ideas, and advice expressed here are largely my personal or the contributor opinions and don’t necessarily represent the opinion of any other organization or person, including my employer, my clients or their 3

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

agents. Any reference to any persons or businesses, whether living or dead, existing or defunct, is purely unintentional.

Self Improvement International cannot vouch for or certify the claims made by advertisers and is not liable for any cause of action arising out of such claims. All disputes are subject to the courts and competent forums in Bangalore, India only.

Images used in this magazine are from open image sources like Openclipart, Pexels, etc., that are free for personal and commercial use.

My full thanks and attribution to the respective artists.

Back to Contents 4

What Else?

W

ise men say that one should never have any desire for wealth and must

always be prepared to lead a life of virtuous poverty. Also, writing articles is viewed by many as a hobby that doesn’t deserve any compensation for the writer as they must write purely for the passion and not for money. But writing involves enormous effort and we don’t live

on

such

magnanimous

money-free

planets. By becoming a subscriber to this magazine you help me create valuable content 5

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

for writers and executives. Thank you for being so generous.

Also, if you are a giving kind of person, then I am an accepting kind. So, if you have any unused excess wealth stashed away in Swiss Banks, Spare Jewels, Precious Gems, Spanish Gold Bars, Priceless Paintings, Rare Dinosaur Bones, Asteroid Pieces, Unused Rolls-Royce, Private Jets, Luxury Ships, or even an Exotic Island or Kingdom somewhere, please feel free to donate them to me along with all applicable taxes. Such humble gifts can nudge me to scribble more articles that could be of use to someone, somewhere on our lonely planet ď Š

Back to Contents 6

How to Become a Morning Person Personal Development

A

n ancient proverb says, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy,

wealthy, and wise�. Nobody knows when this

phrase was invented but the person usually associated for bringing it into common usage was Benjamin Franklin. Practically every 7

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

teacher of ours would have recommended this habit to us. Waking up early to start your important tasks is a productivity method that can help you to accomplish more than if you are a night owl. This method is also endorsed by a number of personal development gurus.

Many high-performers wake up early so that they can get a head start over others. Even the philosopher Aristotle said, "It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom”.

Now what if you are a night owl type than a morning rooster type of person? Is it possible to change your ways? Can you wake up early on a regular basis? Definitely, but becoming a morning person is not easy especially in today’s hectic lifestyles where people stay late 8

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

in offices and also bring work home. But here are a few ways to make the turnaround.

1. Start small. Don’t make abrupt changes. It doesn’t matter if you take a week or two to energetically rise earlier than before. For example, if you normally wake up at 7 or 8 in the morning keep your alarm to 15 minutes early for the first week. Then keep 15 minutes earlier than that in the second week.

2. Don’t keep the alarm clock near your bed.

Keep it in a different room. Don’t keep a melodious soft alarm. Instead, keep an irritating alarm. This way you will have to force yourself to get up and stop it.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

3. Don’t abruptly jump out of the bed or you will get disoriented. Sit on the bed for a few minutes for your blood circulation to pick up.

4. Drink two glasses of warm water as soon as you get up. After being without food or water for 8 to 9 hours, your body will be craving for nutrition and hydration. So, give it some fuel. The reason why most people feel tired and unmotivated in the morning is because they are dehydrated. And when you are dehydrated the performance of your body and brain decreases. Warm water will help you do that trick. It will help you recharge and also flush out your bowels.

Once the unwanted stuff from your body

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

gets

out

from

your

body

you

will

automatically become vibrant.

5. Start some mild exercises and then increase daily. It’s better if you face the sun and do this. Not only you will get the warmth, you will also get some precious Vitamin D needed for healthy bones. The sun is the best source of Vitamin D. Sunlight will also loosen cramps, aches, and make you energetic.

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6. Breathing exercises. A few minutes of intense breathing exercises can do wonders.

Inhale fully through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Next inhale through the left nose and exhale through the right and vice-versa. By doing this you will flood your body with oxygen, and that means that you have generated a lot of energy.

7. Do something you enjoy. If you hate the stuff that you need to do in the morning, then you won’t look forward to waking up early. Instead, if you start activities that you actually enjoy then waking up early will be a lot easy.

8. Get a good night’s sleep. You cannot get up early if you still continue your old ways of sleeping late. Even if you bring work home 13

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

plan to complete a portion of it in the morning rather than completing it at night.

Secondly, the same work can be done faster and better in the morning when you are energized rather that slog at night.

9. Moderation. As with practicing any new skill moderation is the key. Do not hurry or make abrupt changes. Or your mind and body will rebel. But if you do it slowly and methodically your body will get accustomed to the new changes. It does not matter if it takes a few weeks to reach the goal.

Getting there eventually is important.

Now some quotes.

Tired minds don't plan well. Sleep first, plan later - Walter Reisch 14

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs - Ralph Waldo Emerson It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it - John Steinbeck Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds - JoJo Jensen

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15

Stop Living for Others Personal Development

A

re you one of those goody-goody persons

who

are

now

facing

the

following problems like? You have become a doormat or a bellboy to others. You are unable and unwilling to say no. People take you for granted. You are endlessly running errands for 16

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

others.

Everyone’s

urgencies

are

your

emergencies. All your time, money, and effort is spent on helping others. You have become a cart horse by taking on everyone’s load. You have to take permission from your husband, wife, or other family members to buy the things you love with your own money, or eat the dishes you like, wear the clothes you like, sleep an extra hour, and so on.

If you say yes to one or more of the above statements, then you are not alone. Millions of people worldwide, especially breadwinners, are in the same boat unable and unwilling to escape. But there comes a time in everyone’s life when you have to decide to put a full stop to many things, decide who stays and who goes out of your life, stop being a doormat, 17

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

and start living for yourself without any guilt or regret. Here are six steps that will show you how.

Step-1: Start saying NO. Now you may ask to whom you should say no. The answer is to all those capable folks who think that you are always available to help them, carry out errands, and think that you are their bellboy.

For example, it's quite common for spouses, children, relatives, neighbors, and certain friends to invent or extract some work from you the moment they see you. They take you for granted and expect you to be their free errand boy all the time. Even when you come home exhausted they will gleefully dump half a dozen activities on you though they can do many of those tasks themselves. Have you 18

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

observed this? In India we call this as the concept of being unable to walk as soon as you see a horse carriage.

By succumbing to such pressures all your plans get ruined because of their incessant demands. Whatever you had planned for the weekend or a holiday goes down the drain.

Basically, when you say yes to everyone it means their work will get completed, while your work will be pending. You will have to cancel or postpone the things that you wanted to do to accommodate someone's poor planning, urgency, or laziness. And this game repeats endlessly. All your batteries get used up in helping others leaving no power for your own desires. It also results in you wasting time, money, and energy. For example, it may have 19

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

become a habit for you to drive to drop or pick up someone every day even though they may be capable of travelling on their own. This is why you need gradually start saying NO to those who can do the jobs themselves.

Step-2: How to do that? The jump from YES to NO should not be done abruptly and must be done in a gradual way like changing traffic lanes. Basically, your jump from yes to no should be done gradually to avoid conflicts and putting yourself in trouble.

Step-3: Ask who is requesting you to take on some responsibility or task? Can they do it themselves? Do they know how to do it? Is it actually their job? If it’s yes, then find an excuse to say no as you are well within your rights to decline. Otherwise, lazy people will 20

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

always find some excuse to get their work done from you by using tricks like loudly appreciating

your

work,

thanking

you

profusely, or pretending to not know what to do, or avoid learning their job. If you fall for such tricks then you will be doing jobs for others forever.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

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Step-4: Ask if you have the time, money, and energy for taking on additional work? Are you taking on too much? For example, if you have worked a 12-hour day and your family member asks you to drive them somewhere nearby, or assign some task when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves, then simply say no without any explanations or regret. Harden yourself to tolerate their grumbling, whimpering, and moaning.

Step-5: Don't allow others poor planning or urgencies to always become your emergency.

Many people have the habit of carelessness or forget things and get into trouble. Then, you will be expected to get involved on an emergency basis to help them. An occasional help is okay, but if this becomes a norm then 23

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

you should allow such people to burn their hands and learn a harsh lesson. It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on things that are important to you. Teach others how to do a specific job, but don't start doing their work.

Step-6: You should also learn to say no to tasks and projects that are not right for you, demeaning, or you know that you can’t do it.

Do not take unnecessary challenges to impress others. Also, resist the urge to get involved just because you know how to do some tasks better than others. Let them learn the job the hard way. Otherwise, they will never learn to stand on their own feet and you will have to be eternally present to assist them. I have seen cases where some people don't learn essential 24

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

things like opening a door lock, switch off the electrical mains, remember passwords, and other important tasks.

Practice these six steps and soon you will begin to experience freedom to do the things you love and spend quality time with your passions. While saying yes or helping others is not a bad thing but if this behavior exhausts and consumes your entire life leaving no time, energy, or money for your own enjoyment then it's time to take a tough stand.

Finally, some quotes by famous people.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough - Josh Billings

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

No is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation to follow. You can truly answer someone’s request with a simple no Sharon E. Rainey Sometimes no is the kindest word - Vironika Tugaleva

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26

The Power of Higher Patience Stress Management

S

omebody

once

said,

“If

you

want

something very badly first let it go. If it

comes back to you, then it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never yours to begin with.”

Now you may ask how one can let go of something that they badly want. How practical 27

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

is this advice? And who lets go of something that

they

desperately

want?

All

valid

questions, but the simple answer to all these doubts lies in one word called – PATIENCE. Now what is patience? It is an ancient valuable life skill, a virtue that helps you cope with things beyond your control. As you would have experienced, practically every day there will be something small, medium, or big that frustrates you and causes anxiety. This is because people don’t honor their promises, things don’t happen as planned, people tell lies, and there will always be some roadblock that delays your plans. Sometimes, no matter what you do or the influence you have, things just don’t happen according to your plan. Even your best laid plans will go into flames. Why 28

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

does this happen? No one knows. There is no rational explanation for this. But there is an irrational solution for this and that is learning the art of waiting patiently. In simple words, patience is the art of waiting without going berserk. Most people will have some general patience, but what you need to cultivate is a form of higher version to get better results.

Here are a few ways to do that.

Method-1: Learn to Pause. When things don’t go your way you can drive yourself crazy, behave irritably, feel victimized, or try to force an outcome. But all these are self-defeating reactions that can cause more delays, damage, alienate others, and bring out the worst in them. Instead, you can force yourself to pause for some time and transform your frustration 29

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

into patience. Pausing is very irritating but essential to prevent more damage that what is already caused.

Method-2: Let it go: We often believe a solution will appear if we keep attacking a problem relentlessly. Unfortunately, that is not the right way as solving many problems is similar to chasing a beautiful butterfly. The harder you try to catch it the farther it flies away. But, surprisingly, if you stand still that butterfly will start flying very close to you or may even sit on your shoulder.

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In a similar way if you want something very badly, first set it free. Just let go of a nagging problem for some time. Forcefully eject it from your mind and give it some time to clear the mental fog. When you do that suddenly you can discover new ways and obvious solutions dropping in that can seem vastly superior to your previous thoughts. This is the paradox of letting go where the solution pops up only when you let go and give up instead of clinging on desperately.

Method-3: Sleep over it: Each one of use is a mysterious and magnificent machine. Behind our normal physical existence there lies a vast untapped world that we are not fully aware.

There are countless incredible skills and powers that we have, but never know or don’t 32

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

know how it works. Even today one never knows why solutions evade us when we are vigorously trying to solve, but pop in mysteriously when we least expect it or when we are asleep.

In many cases, it’s intuition and dreams that give us an answer to a problem that is impossible to get when we are awake. For example, one of the most revolutionary findings in organic chemistry was the discovery of the structure of benzene molecule. The scientist, Friedrich Kekule worked for years to discover its atomic structure without success.

But one night, he dreamt of many snakes circling together and forming a ring of six snakes chasing each other’s tails. When he awoke he got the answer, which was the shape 33

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

hexagon as the elusive structure of the benzene ring.

Method-4: Wait for the destined hour.

Sometimes you have to think philosophically.

Many a time you may think, ‘Why was I racking my brain when the solution was so simple, or why couldn’t I think of it before?’ But, as Ovid, a Roman poet once said, ‘Everything comes gradually at its appointed hour.’ Similarly, many solutions arrive only at the appointed hour and not before, no matter how hard you try.

Now some quotes.

Beware the fury of a patient man - John Dryden

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting - Joyce Meyer Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance - Virgil

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35

Authors who didn’t Quit Writing & Publishing

D

o you know why so many books get published by the authors themselves?

The simple answer is REJECTION. But rejected by whom? By publishers, of course. Not the readers. This is the single biggest motivator for plenty of authors to try self-publishing and get 36

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

the books into the hands of readers directly eliminating the middleman. But why do publishers reject authors? There is no single answer for this. Many publishers have gradually incorporated too many conditions for authors. For example, they prefer the author to be already famous to influence sales, they want to be sure that the book will immediately sell thousands of copies, want the book to be of a certain thickness for commercial reasons, don’t want unusual subjects, and so on.

Secondly, their evaluation process has also become

very

cumbersome

and

time

consuming for authors to follow. A newbie author can easily wait for six months to two years just to get a fancy rejection letter. The 37

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

reasons for such cumbersome processes and delays could be genuine. But authors can’t wait or waste years hoping some publisher will accept it. This is why many jump to selfpublishing. But did you know that even many top authors also self-published before they got famous? Here is a list of such authors.

In Search of Excellence was initially sold directly to readers by Tom Peters before it was sold to Warner and became an international bestseller.

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield was rejected by countless publishers. So, he got the books printed by himself and started selling from the back of his car and sold thousands. This became a hit and was soon 38

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

picked by Warner and then sold millions of copies.

The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard was sold locally before it was noticed and picked up by William Morrow. Then it became an international bestseller and has sold more than ten million copies in 20 plus languages.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Now let us look at how other top authors who didn’t self-publish but kept going till they got published.

Louis L’Amour, the successful author of more than hundred western novels received more than 300 rejections before he made his first sale.

Dozens of publishers and agents turned down John Grisham’s bestseller A Time to Kill before he could make his first sale.

Jack London received hundreds of rejections before he made his first sale.

The movie Star Wars was rejected by all Hollywood producers before it was produced by 20th Century Fox. The rest is history.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

The Chicken Soup for the Soul Series was turned down by dozens of publishers by stating that nobody will read a book of short nice stories.

Similarly, there are hundreds of cases where several bestsellers have either self-published or persisted till they made it big. So, here are some takeaways from their experiences.

Write the best possible book you can. Then, get it self-published fast so that your copyright

is

automatically

established.

Meanwhile, continue to contact top publishers to see if they are interested.

Spread the word and do plenty of marketing. You will never know when and how your book will start its exciting journey.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Keep writing many books in the same genre if possible. Do not wait eternally for your first book to succeed. Many authors saw success after their third or fourth book.

The key is persistence and patience. Do not get disheartened if publishers reject you. You cannot blame them as they get hundreds of queries every day. Whenever you are feeling dejected about the continuous rejection immediately start reading the stories of top author who got rejected and how many years it took them to get noticed worldwide. Finally, as Churchill said – “If you are going through Hell, keep going.”

Back to Contents 43

How to Reduce Useless Meetings Workplace Management

H

ave you noticed the further you (or someone you know) progress in your

career the more meetings you have to go?

Dilbert has dozens of cartoons that poke fun of meetings and how useless or painful they are. But that pain has real and stressful consequences for teams and organizations. It’s 44

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

also hard to complete your other tasks when you are constantly going from meeting to meeting. While some meetings may be productive, most are disorganized, inefficient, and mainly done to satisfy the egos of inefficient and clueless managers.

Daily meetings are the biggest time and productivity wasters in millions of workplaces.

Such meetings are usually held by mediocre managers who see the world through status reports, or want to sit in their cabins and run the

department,

or

have

no

subject

knowledge, or have no clue about what is happening around. So, they start harassing team members with endless meetings.

Before we get into the methods to reduce useless meetings let me tell you a story about 45

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

a Japanese executive who was hired as the CEO of a car manufacturing plant. When he took over the company he did not immediately occupy his plush office and start his marathon meetings. Instead, he started working in the shop floor everyday watching and learning about the entire manufacturing process. The other executives were puzzled and surprised at a CEO indulging in such blue collar activities instead of doing paper management. But the CEO continued his activities for a few weeks and then occupied his office.

By doing this he got firsthand information and knowledge of his company, what is going on, and what is required. For example, he noticed that the spare parts room was far away from the assembly area resulting in 46

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

employees wasting time going back and forth.

He also noticed that the workers did not have enough

toolkits

resulting

in

wasted

productivity. He then took amazing decisions to improve the organization based on the bottlenecks, roadblocks, and other hassles he observed when he worked on the shop floor.

Basically, he did not start managing or learning his company by indulging in endless meetings or status reports sitting blindly in his ivory tower. By working in the shop floor he eliminated several meetings as he could now take accurate financial and executive decisions with minimal meetings.

Now how many managers do this? The answer will be very few. And even the ones who do may not do at that depth. But the 47

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Japanese CEO method is a good lesson to reduce a lot of meetings and here are two ways to do it.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Method-1: Gain Knowledge - A good person

can

become

a

manager

of

a

department for various reasons, but may have no

knowledge

necessary

to

run

the

department. Often, many employees get promoted to stratospheric levels too fast, but without the required knowledge, maturity or skills to run a bunch of diverse departments.

And this is unavoidable in many cases as modern managers often have to swim in unchartered waters in today’s chaotic business world.

However, this can become a disaster not only for the manager but also to all his team members who look at him or her for help or coaching. If managers lack the required knowledge and advisory skills to coach, 50

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

mentor and supervise their department, they can agitate their team members to death. In addition to stressing their team members daily, managers will also stress themselves more as they will be unable to lead effectively.

For example, a good person can be a car service supervisor, but can never effectively manage his mechanics if he himself doesn’t have some prior experience in servicing a car or at least a generous dose of the practical hardships of it.

His lack of knowledge can often lead to conflicts as he may make unrealistic demands on his mechanics, commit to impractical requests

by

customers,

overload

his

mechanics, etc. Soon it will become an ego

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

conflict between the ‘Knowledgeable and the Clueless.’

Method-2: Continuous learning - It’s understandable that a manager cannot be expected to have an accurate knowledge from day one. To gain knowledge one must get into the deep water to understand the nitty-gritty of a new department's work, irrespective of their earlier experience. And no matter which department you manage there will be some amount of new learning every day to keep abreast of latest trends and happenings related to that particular industry.

But too many managers avoid doing this and don’t make any effort to learn the work handson or at least an essential percentage of it.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

They never bother to understand the ‘Nuts and bolts’ or roll up their sleeves to get involved.

Instead, they run their departments from a high level by viewing the world through status reports, metrics, statistical gymnastics, asking tough questions, etc., and soon become an object of ridicule. Very soon, this will lead to problems

like

inaccurate

estimation,

procrastination, unable to take independent decisions, workload issues, staff shortages, endless meetings, email wars, improper budgeting, and various daily conflicts.

By refusing to learn or get involved they distance themselves from understanding any practical

issues

and

difficulties

of

a

department. Instead of being in a position of confidently saying, ‘Let me show you how or 53

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

this is how you do it,’ they will start covering their lack of knowledge through devious means

as

they

become

insecure

and

incompetent. Obviously, that means entering into dirty waters like indulging in cheap politics, surround themselves with yes men, shoot the messenger and find scapegoats.

As you can see from the above it’s mainly the lack of hands on knowledge that results in endless meetings and harassment to self and team members. But if you make a conscious effort to learn your department’s work you will do yourself and your team members a great favor. Finally, we can conclude this article with a quote from Thomas Arnold who said, ‘Real knowledge, like everything else of value, is not to be obtained easily. It must be worked for, 54

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

studied for, thought for, and, more than all must be prayed for.’

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55

What is Reverse Psychology?

Personal Development

A

mathematics teacher was having a tough time teaching math to a particular

student. No matter how much she encouraged or was patient the student was not showing any interest in learning it properly. In fact, the student had become so stubborn that he was 56

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

enjoying the teacher’s misery. Finally, the teacher tried another trick. She openly insulted the student in front of the other students that he was not intelligent enough to learn mathematics and so it is a waste of time teaching him. This did the trick. His ego was hurt badly and he decided to prove the teacher wrong. He then took it up as a challenge and studied mathematics well just to show off to the teacher and his classmates that he could do it. So, what does this story teach us?

This trick is an age old concept called reverse psychology. You get somebody do something you want by suggesting that they do the opposite. This works better when the other person is egoistic and makes emotional decisions rather than objective thinking.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Basically, when you forbid someone to do something by saying don’t do X, then you are also implanting the suggestion to do X. Reverse psychology is a much needed trick that is necessary on a number of people who are lazy, egoistic, selfish, stubborn, etc. It’s not possible to use positive encouragement methods with them. You have to prick their ego by telling them the opposite. For example, with people who doesn’t honor their promises it is no use requesting them to honor it. He or she will continue to play their games. Instead, if you openly insult them by saying that you don’t trust them it can hurt their ego and will try to prove they are trustworthy so that they won’t be ridiculed or laughed at when they break the promise.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

This can also work on small children who don’t eat food properly. Instead of running behind it and trying to shove food into its mouth if you pretend that it will not get any food, tell it not to eat something, or hide the food then the child will start the reverse action.

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Reverse psychology is more likely to be successful with people who have a high need for control. People who feel their control is being taken away will grab it back by not doing what they are asked. Reverse psychology should be used in moderation to ensure that the

person

does

not

suspect

you

of

manipulation. There is a danger of reverse psychology backfiring if the person realizes that you are trying to manipulate him and may try to take revenge by doing something else.

If you use reverse psychology first decide what kind of person you are dealing with. Keep in mind that no matter how hard you try a stubborn person still has his free will and can decide to go in the direction or decision they choose. Just because reverse psychology has 61

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worked in the past doesn’t mean it will again in the future. So, you will need many different kinds of manipulative tricks to get them do the right thing.

Always use reverse psychology for good and noble purposes to change a person’s behavior and see that they don’t destroy themselves.

Do not use it for your own personal agendas, or illegal things, or to get your own way because of your ego. For example, you can use it on people who indulge in destructive behaviors like smoking, drinking, wayward life, extravagance, violence, foolishness, etc. It is okay to manipulate such persons to eliminate their bad behaviors. But don’t use it to make a good person do bad things. After all, you never know if you are going to be attacked or 62

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

manipulated

by

reverse

psychology

by

someone else.

Now some quotes.

Manipulation, fueled with good intent, can be a blessing. But when used wickedly, it is the beginning of a magician's karmic calamity T.F. Hodge The best way to manipulate a man is to make him think he is manipulating you - John Smith

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How to Rejuvenate Yourself Stress Management

A

nyone who uses a computer or a car knows that a periodic hard or soft

servicing is necessary to keep it in good working condition. When a computer starts acting cranky a simple reboot or off-on will not set it right. You will need to defrag the 64

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

hard

disk,

delete

unwanted

files

and

applications, fine tune the registry and settings, install the latest critical software patches and updates, and so on. Only then the computer will start running in good condition again. Similarly, with a car you need to do things like changing the oil, wheel balancing, engine tune up, complete wash, replacement of worn out parts, spark plugs, and so on. Just switching off the car for a day or two won’t get it back in good condition.

In a similar way, we humans also need a periodic tune up or a rejuvenation to get back into our vibrant mode. This is because we are also like a computer or a car. Our mental and physical processors also starts slowing down due

to

overwork,

depression, 65

lack

of

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

motivation, general lack of energy, boredom, and so on. There are the times when we need to rejuvenate ourselves to service our mind, body, and spirit.

Now how to rejuvenate ourselves? There are personal and professional methods. First let me tell you about professional methods.

Professional methods - Nowadays, there are Medicare companies that help you to rejuvenate. There will be qualified doctors and nurses who will do a thorough body detoxification and life-style modification for a fee, usually an expensive treatment. For this you will have to get admitted in their clinics which are usually situated in vast green orchards with minimal modern technologies.

There you will undergo lengthy treatments like 66

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

Yoga,

Naturopathy,

Acupuncture,

Diet

Therapies,

Physiotherapy,

Meditation,

Mental health exercises, etc., to remove the harmful toxins from your mind, body, and soul.

The whole treatment will usually last from five to seven days or even more depending on how serious your condition is. This is similar to servicing a car. Such treatments are usually expensive and require you to spend time there.

But once you complete the course you will be fresh and vibrant person. Now let us look at personal methods.

As you will agree, not everyone will have the time or money to spend on professional rejuvenation. For this you need to learn some self-rejuvenation methods. While it may not be as detailed or effective as a professional 67

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

rejuvenation you can still reduce at least 30% to 50% of your stress by doing the following at home.

Start fasting - Fast for a day or two every week. Have a light lunch and don’t have dinner on that day. Fasting will clean the toxins from your body and make you lighter.

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Fruit diet - Reduce all oily, sugary, and heavy food. Instead, start a fruit diet of assorted fruits. This can clean up your system faster and also give the necessary nutrition.

Reduce workload - Make a conscious effort to reduce your workload by proper delegation, incorporating

efficient

and

time

saving

methods, automation, etc. Work overload is the biggest cause of your mind and body going haywire.

Meditation - You can also learn some meditation by watching videos on the internet.

Off Days or Hours - See if you can completely switch off on certain days or for several hours. By switch off I mean no internet, fiddling on the smartphone, office work that 70

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was brought home, reading books, etc. Just sit quietly without doing anything for a few hours. Basically, stop feeding or operating your brain endlessly and let it reset and cool down.

Others – A proper haircut, loose cotton clothes, clipping your nails, etc., can also make you lighter.

Sleep – Check if you have reduced your sleep. Too many people think that 6 hours of sleep is more than enough. But it is a wrong method and will have long term consequences.

Eight hours is a must for you to be truly active the remaining hours. If you haven’t slept properly you will not be able to concentrate and will make more mistakes. But if you have slept properly you can finish your tasks in one go with repetitions.

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Mini Vacations – Take a mini vacation for a day or two, preferably alone, to a place full of greenery. Lots of greenery is a natural rejuvenator and your body will reset faster.

Don’t go to places where there are lots of people or where you have to stand in queues.

Your stress will not reduce if you go to such noisy places.

Similarly, there are a bunch of small changes you can do to your lifestyle to reduce your stress and burnout by at least 30% to 50%.

Give it a try. You will be pleasantly surprised.

Now some quotes, Sometimes, the most productive thing that you can do is to step outside and do nothing.

Relax and enjoy nature - Melanie Charlene 72

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

As important as it is to have a plan for doing work, it is perhaps more important to have a plan for rest, relaxation, self-care, and sleep Akiroq Brost

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What is LinkedIn? Technology

I

f you have ever worked in a corporate world you probably would have heard the word

LinkedIn often used by HR professionals. Now

what is LinkedIn? LinkedIn is basically a social network specifically designed for career and 74

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

business professionals to connect. It's like Facebook for your workplace career. Whether you're a technical or non-technical executive, a business owner of any size, a consultant, or even a college graduate looking for their first job, LinkedIn is for you and anyone who is interested in taking their professional life more seriously, look for new opportunities, grow their careers, and to connect with other professionals worldwide.

Millions of executives use LinkedIn to cultivate their careers and businesses. Unlike other social networks in which you might become "friends" with anyone and everyone, LinkedIn is about building strategic and career relationships. On LinkedIn, you network with people by adding them as "connections," 75

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

similar to how you make a friend request on Facebook. It is also an online resume and you can display all of your professional experience, job hops, awards, and achievements on your profile to display to other users. This gives you and others to see who you are and what you have accomplished in the corporate world. It also helps potential recruiters to see if you are a fit for the jobs they are advertising.

Some of the main features of LinkedIn are, Home: Once you've logged in you will see your news feed that shows recent posts from your connections (professionals and company pages) you are following.

Profile: This shows your name, photo, location, occupation, and other details. Below 76

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

the profile you can customize various different sections

like

a

short

summary,

work

experience, education, and other information similarly to how you might create a traditional resume.

My Network: Here you will see the list of all professionals you are currently connected with on LinkedIn. Jobs: All sorts of jobs are posted on LinkedIn by employers. LinkedIn will recommend specific jobs to you based on your current information, location, and job preferences that you can fill out to get better-tailored job listings.

Interests: Apart from connections, you can follow certain interests on LinkedIn like 77

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

company pages, groups you follow, and other interesting stuff.

Search bar: LinkedIn also has a powerful search feature that helps in filtering your results down according to several different customizable fields.

Messages: You can also start a conversation with another professional by sending them a private message through LinkedIn. You can also add attachments, include photos, links, etc.

Notifications:

Similar

to

other

social

networks, LinkedIn has a notification feature that lets you know when are endorsed by someone, invited to join something, or

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welcomed to check out a post they have written.

Pending

Invitations:

When

other

professionals invite you to connect with them on LinkedIn, you'll receive an invitation that you'll have to approve in order to become their connection. Be careful about sending such invites randomly. For example, if you are just a junior executive but start sending connection requests to top people like CEOs you may be disappointed. So, build your connection carefully.

How to use LinkedIn? Find old colleagues – Using the search feature, you can use the My Network section to find old colleagues, teachers, classmates, 79

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

professors, and anyone else you might think is worth having in your professional network.

Use your profile as your resume - Your LinkedIn profile is basically an online resume.

Be careful and honest while filling these details and don’t fill it with any lies. For example, if you were only a sales executive at a company but name yourself as a head of sales then you may get caught when other colleagues see your profile.

Find and apply to jobs - LinkedIn is one of the best places to look for job postings online.

You can get recommendations from LinkedIn about jobs you may be interested in, but you can also use the search bar to look for specific positions too.

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Participate in interesting group – You can also become a member of groups based on your interests, current profession, and start participating. Other group members may like what they see and want to connect with you.

Blogging – LinkedIn also has a publishing platform allows users to publish blog posts to have their content read by thousands.

Published posts will show up on your profile, which will increase your credibility as a knowledge expert in your area.

Upgrading to a Premium Account - Most people can do just fine with a free LinkedIn account, but if you are serious about using LinkedIn and all its most advanced features, then you can upgrade to one of the four available premium accounts. But they are 81

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

expensive starting from Us$30 to US$120 per month.

So go ahead and start your LinkedIn profile now.

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83

Children Section

T

his section is dedicated to articles for children and also their own contributions.

You can submit articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids for consideration.

This is to encourage them to cultivate the awesome habit of writing and reading books and magazines, instead of thinking that their computers, smartphones, and tablets are only for playing games and chatting.

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Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

T

his section is dedicated to remembering the golden era of comics that lasted from

the 1930s till the late 1980s. When we were kids we didn’t have dozens of TV channels, Smartphones, Apps, Internet, Social Media, etc.

Our main sources of entertainment were movies in theaters, a radio set, books, magazines, playgrounds, and the wonderful world of comics. Dozens and dozens of brilliant

graphic

comics

would

hit

our

magazine newsstands every month ranging from as low as 10 cents to 50 cents. The arrival of our favorite comic every month was always a gala affair that would send a thrilling chill 85

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

down our spine. We even had awesome libraries that would lend us comics for a small fee.

Practically, every child on our planet grew up as diehard fans of various comic book heroes, heroines, and villains. Collecting and protecting our comics was a thrilling exercise, and we had to guard our precious comics from our mischievous friends, cousins, relatives, etc., who would vanish with our priceless treasures.

Each comic book’s hero, heroine, and villain would take us deep into their imaginary wonderland and make us laugh, cry, giggle, angry, and even get furious. The stories used to so great that countless comics could have been easily been made in super movies. Did 86

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

you know that each comic were meticulously hand drawn and colored by those great comic artists as there were no graphic softwares like today?

Want to know how those golden comics looked? See the next few pages for some awesome covers. Some lucky grown up child will be having these lovely treasures stored in their attics or cupboards somewhere on our planet (sigh!).

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Watch out for more awesome covers in next month’s issue.

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92

A Few Questions FAQs

How do we contact you?

Via

email

on

thejendra@yahoo.com

or

thejendrabs@gmail.com.

I am a writer and want to submit articles to your magazine. Will you accept it?

Yes, but with some conditions like you must have your own website, blog, and preferably be a self-published author with your books available on amazon and other sites. If you want to contribute regularly, then I would prefer you become my magazine subscriber.

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This link contains the submission details and template.

Do you pay for articles?

Not yet. This is still a new magazine and to pay you my circulation must improve. But I will provide a PDF copy of the magazine if I include your article in this magazine.

What kind of articles do you accept?

Your articles must be related to selfimprovement, stress management, leadership, management, writing, publishing, and so on. It must help the reader learn something useful for their life skills. Also, your article must be your own and not copied from anywhere. All 94

Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

images used must cite sources and must be free for personal and commercial usage. I can also consider publishing articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids to push them towards the habit of reading books and magazines.

Do you accept advertisements in your magazine?

Yes, you can have a half-page or a full-page advertisement. Half page is US$10 and fullpage is US$20 (see samples next page).

Authors can also advertise their books and its short summary for just US$5/-. For half page send a JPG or PNG file of size 5 inch x 3.75 inch and for full-page send a 5 inch x 7.5 inch size file.

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Self Improvement International – January 2020 Issue

I have some other questions.

Just send me an email.

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About the Editor

Thejendra Sreenivas is an Author and Life Skills Coach and offers personalized coaching in Book Publishing and Personal Development. He has also written 20+ mild & wild books on a number of subjects. His inspiration for writing unique books comes from Toni Morrison who said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Please visit his web cave - www.thejendra.com for details of his books, magazine, and coaching information.

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Books by the Editor

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Books by the Editor

101

Books by the Editor

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Books by the Editor

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Past Issues of this Magazine

I hope you enjoyed the ride. If you liked this magazine please coax all your friends to subscribe.

For Subscription Visit

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Wealth of the Wise