Self Improvement International - February 2020

Self Improvement International February 2020 Issue Three Aspirins to Reduce Anxiety What Book should I Write?

Help - I am Consciously Incompetent and many more !!!

Wealth of the Wise

Self Improvement International Wealth of the Wise February 2020 Issue

First Anniversary Issue

Copyright Š Thejendra Sreenivas. All Rights Reserved

Self Improvement International February 2020 Issue Editor and Publisher - Thejendra Sreenivas Bangalore, India.

Website - www.thejendra.com Email - thejendra@yahoo.com & thejendrabs@gmail.com

Self Improvement International is a monthly electronic magazine edited and published by Thejendra Sreenivas on behalf of his private Seven Sages Consultancy, Bangalore, India.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems, or in any language without the written permission of the editor.

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In this issue

From the Editor’s Desk

01

What my Lawyer makes me say

03

What Else?

05

The Joy of Simplifying your Life

07

Personal Development

What is Bad Body Language Personal Development

17

In this issue (cont’d) Three Aspirins to Reduce Anxiety Stress Management

What Book Should I Write Writing & Publishing

Help - I'm Consciously Incompetent!

Personal Development by Carl Broadbridge

Keep Away from Negative People Stress Management by Prof AVR Rao

Wrong Examples of Leadership Workplace Leadership

29

38

50

61

79

In this issue (cont’d) Guide to Corporate Offsites Humor

Children Section Writing & Publishing

Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

A Few Questions FAQs

About the Editor

86

88

89

98

104

From the Editor’s Desk

H

ey, thanks for subscribing to my unique and

delightful

Self

Improvement

International magazine. This is a magazine to be read, retained, remembered, and re-read from your electronic bookshelf. Each magazine carries a bunch of sparkling articles on Personal Development, Stress Management, Humor,

Frugality,

Leadership,

Resiliency,

Workplace Issues, Spirituality, Life Skills, Satire, Writing, Publishing, and an occasional Harsh Advice.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Simplicity is the hallmark of this treasure chest. Unlike the hordes of dazzling magazines that you see in the newsstands the contents here are eye and eReader friendly, and not crowded with complex cosmetics, awesome advertisements, and gorgeous graphics that can distract or irritate your eyes. Like a basket of delicious fruits each issue can dramatically transform your personal and professional life.

Think of this magazine as your electronic personal coach who can make you superior to the rest of the crowd. Give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised.

***** Back to Contents

2

What my Lawyer makes me say

D

isclaimer: Although this magazine has been prepared with utmost care, neither

the author, publisher, seller, editor, or any other party associated with this magazine can accept any liability for any direct or indirect damages caused by following the advice given here.

All opinions, ideas, and advice expressed here are largely my personal or the contributor opinions and don’t necessarily represent the opinion of any other organization or person, including my employer, my clients or their 3

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

agents. Any reference to any persons or businesses, whether living or dead, existing or defunct, is purely unintentional.

Self Improvement International cannot vouch for or certify the claims made by advertisers and is not liable for any cause of action arising out of such claims. All disputes are subject to the courts and competent forums in Bangalore, India only.

Images used in this magazine are from open image sources like Pexels, Unsplash, Pixabay, etc., that are free for personal and commercial use. My full thanks and attribution to the respective artists.

***** Back to Contents 4

What Else?

W

ise men say that one should never have any desire for wealth and must

always be prepared to lead a life of virtuous poverty. Also, writing articles is viewed by many as a hobby that doesn’t deserve any compensation for the writer as they must write purely for the passion and not for money. But writing involves enormous effort and we don’t live

on

such

magnanimous

money-free

planets. By becoming a subscriber to this magazine you help me create valuable content 5

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

for writers and executives. Thank you for being so generous.

Also, if you are a giving kind of person, then I am an accepting kind. So, if you have any unused excess wealth stashed away in Swiss Banks, Spare Jewels, Precious Gems, Spanish Gold Bars, Priceless Paintings, Rare Dinosaur Bones, Asteroid Pieces, Unused Rolls-Royce, Private Jets, Luxury Ships, or even an Exotic Island or Kingdom somewhere, please feel free to donate them to me along with all applicable taxes. Such humble gifts can nudge me to scribble more articles that could be of use to someone, somewhere on our lonely planet ď Š

***** Back to Contents 6

The Joy of Simplifying your Life Personal Development

F

rom our early childhood we are taught that we must study hard to get good

marks in school, then study harder to get a great degree, and get some more fancy 7

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

degrees, then dive into a career, work even harder, and keep climbing to higher levels of responsibility, leadership, and salary. Then our life

will

be

free

and

enjoyable.

But

mysteriously, as soon as you reach such levels, you will begin to feel unhappy, empty, and unfulfilled. Isn’t that strange? So, why did you put all that effort and climb so high just to reach this emptiness? Millions of people ask such questions but fail to get answers. But the answer to happiness is right in front of you and that is to simplify your life and reducing your wants, instead of adding more and more.

Here are three ways on how you can achieve joy by simplifying your life.

Have Less to Enjoy More – Anyone who overeats food will know what this means.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

When you overeat your body will rebel, your mood becomes irritating, and you will need a long time to become vibrant again. In a similar way, if you reduce the stuff you want or have around you, then your life will become lighter and more vibrant gradually. So, starting today, take a look around your house or the umpteen activities you do. Classify them into must have, must do, and nice to have and nice to do.

The musts are mandatory, but the nice ones are optional. Then calculate how much you are spending per month for each. Just like 30% or more water gets wasted when you take a shower, you will be surprised to know that a large chunk of money is being wasted on the nice to do or have stuff. Now start eliminating or reducing all the nice to do or have things 9

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

gradually. Soon you will be able to save some 30% to 50% time and money that you can use wisely.

Next look around your house and throw out all useless and unwanted stuff lying around or making you spend money. For example, you may be subscribing to many magazines and newspapers. Ask if you really have time to read all of them? Aren’t they wasting money unnecessarily? Similarly, look for other things that are making you spend money or occupying space and throw them out. Once you do this you will make your house lighter, more airy, and your wallet thicker.

Stop taking on more Responsibilities – Many executives take on responsibilities more than they can handle. This is why they are 10

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

unable to spend time with their family, attend their

children

school

programs,

family

functions like weddings, parties, etc. they are always busy with office work. I am not recommending that you completely stop taking any more responsibilities. But know when to say no.

For example, if you are earning enough and have time to spend on your passions it doesn’t make sense to volunteer to an office project that requires you to work extra, travel a lot, spend late nights, etc., without any substantial monetary compensation or increased joy. As Stephen Covey once said, - “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage

pleasantly,

smilingly,

and

non-

apologetically to say “no” to other things. And 11

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.�

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Reduce your standard of living - Big house to a small house. For example, if you are staying in a big rented house see if you can shift to a small compact house. Smaller houses cost less, require fewer items to furnish them, require

less

cleaning

and

maintenance.

Similarly, you can shift from a big expensive car

to

a

small-medium

car

for

less

maintenance and insurance costs.

Take the case of Mr. R, a senior executive working in a top company in an expensive city.

Though he was earning a lot he was finding it difficult to cope with the high cost of living in an expensive city. He was spending all his money on an abnormal rent for a small house, loans, car expenses, and other painful expenditures of expensive cities.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

When his company announced they needed a regional manager in a midsized town he readily

grabbed

that

opportunity

and

relocated to that town. Now he lives in a house that is five times the size of his earlier house, pays just one fifth the rent as before, and was able to drastically cut down all expenses and start saving a bundle of money every month.

Now he has less pressure and more time to spend with his family, more greenery, more friends, and a peaceful life.

Now let us end this article with some quotes, He who will not economize will have to agonize – Confucius

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need - Warren Buffett Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants – Epictetus I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them - John Stuart Mill

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16

What is Bad Body Language?

Personal Development

I

f you have ever worked in a corporate office you probably would have heard words like

body language used by many executives while describing someone’s behaviors. Now what exactly is body language and why is it 17

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

important? Just like our verbal communication and the tone we use, our body and facial expressions also has a powerful sign language that conveys different meanings to different people. This sign language can improve or destroy relationships, careers, friendships, and interpersonal relations. So, what exactly is body language?

In simple words body language is gestures, posture, and facial expressions that people use when communicating with other people. There are good and bad body languages. For example, if an employee is narrating a personal problem to his manager and he appears disinterested or occupied with his work, then the manager is exhibiting a Bad Body Language (BBL) that conveys that he 18

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

doesn’t care about his employee problems.

Too many people knowingly or unknowingly exhibit a BBL that can turn off people even if they don’t utter a word. BBL can also be considered as a kind of arrogance. So, how and why do people exhibit this? This article will show you the reasons.

First let us define arrogance. A general dictionary defines arrogance in many ways like, ‘Offensive importance,

display

of

overbearing

superiority, pride,

self-

pompous,

haughtiness, behaving in a superior manner toward inferiors, etc.’ Each one of us would have definitely seen or experienced BBL by someone at some time. Such persons can impact you in many ways, and depending on your current position you may or may not be 19

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

able to control such people. For example, an arrogant professor, teacher, boss, or reputed personalities can make life hell for all his subordinates, and continue to behave with brazen superiority with everyone for years.

Often, you will not be able to do anything because such people control your core necessities like passing exams, promotions, salary hikes, sales figures, brand, etc. But in some rare cases, you can hit back with all your power at arrogant people.

Nevertheless, such BBL people in all walks of life are a pain and will be an important topic of discussion everywhere. Behind the back gossip like, ‘He or she has become arrogant now, but wasn’t like that before’ is quite common in most workplaces, amongst friends, relatives, 20

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

etc. However, it doesn’t mean arrogant people will be boorish with everyone, but they will definitely

not

miss

an

opportunity

to

demonstrate it to someone they can afford to be rude with.

Often, the person with BBL may not truly realize they have indeed become arrogant. For example, we rarely think of ourselves as being arrogant as we usually believe it’s always someone else who can be arrogant, but not us.

But arrogance does exist in various degrees in everyone, including you and me. Now suppose you discover that people who matter to you are calling you arrogant behind your back? Or worse, someone tells you flat on your face that you are indeed arrogant. What will be your reaction? It can rudely jolt you from the grand 21

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

benevolent image you hold of yourself. Being branded arrogant is something that nobody would like to hear. You could get furious, outraged and vehemently disagree with their opinion. Or, if you can control your senses, you can stop and think of it as a wake-up call to mend your ways.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? - Because he was always spotted.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

BBL is like a special body odor that you can’t smell, but others can. But unless somebody tells you openly, or you have a mirror of snow white's stepmother you don’t get to realize it.

Similar to how people recognize the harmful effects of junk food, high cholesterol, etc., it’s also important to recognize some vital signs that could make one arrogant over time. So, what are those signs that can make you arrogant? Here are seven signs that could make you arrogant over time, unless you take appropriate steps to puncture your bloated ego periodically.

Knowledge: Your subject knowledge is good and you ae now considered as an expert on some topic or subject. People come to you for advice, tips, guidance. You have all the 24

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

answers for anything and everything, or you believe so. Soon, you begin to think that you have become knowledgeable in everything and feel others are now dependent on you. And you

gradually

become

dismissive

of

suggestions and recommendations by others, except yours, of course.

Salary: You have a juicy salary. You are able to pay all your bills, loans, expenses and still have plenty of spare money to buy the things you desire. Your bank balance makes you feel invincible and you start comparing everyone based on the money they make.

Job title: You have a fancy job title that can create an aura of awe around you. Titles having groovy words like global, enterprise, strategy, leader, etc., can quietly corrupt a 25

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

person’s ego faster than a person who is having a mediocre title like sales manager, though both could be doing identical ordinary jobs.

Contacts:

You

develop

contacts

and

connections with reputed people, famous personalities, top brass, etc., and hover around important people. You have the blessings of a powerful godfather who worships the ground you walk on, protects you, listens to you and does not make a move without consulting you.

So, you now feel like a VIP with the power to crush ordinary mortals.

Successes: Frequent success and winning can be a powerful arrogance booster. For example, you have had a series of successes and promotions that are the envy of others.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Everything you touch turns to gold. Or you have been very smart and quick in burying your failures before anyone notices them. Or somebody is doing the work and producing the results, while you are getting the rewards and hikes. During temporary lucky periods in life, a feeling of Midas touch can get into people’s head. This is often the reason why many sportspersons, film personalities, business owners, etc., become haughty and pushy.

Answers: You don’t provide solutions to questions anymore. Instead, you now answer every question with another smart question.

You develop the skill to invent a dozen jargonfilled smart, tough and tricky questions on the fly that can make others squirm, chew their head off, or make them flee from the scene. Of 27

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

course, it’s not necessary for you to know the answers, or if answering is unavoidable, you can invent some more jargon-filled questions to confuse the other party.

Personal: In addition to the above factors, an individual’s personal qualities, or Mother Nature’s temporary gifts to humans like young age, physical strength, beauty, good health, etc., can also make one arrogant.

Finally, we can conclude this article with a quote from Henry W Shaw who said, ‘It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too.’

***** Back to Contents

28

Three Aspirins to Reduce Anxiety Stress Management

O

n our planet no human is immune to some nagging problems and anxieties

from time to time. For example, there is an incurable ailment called Migraine, which causes a recurring type of headache with 29

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

moderate to intense throbbing of the head.

The normal method to reduce the pain is to take some aspirins. In a similar way, it’s possible to reduce your anxiety by taking some knowledge

aspirins

even

though

your

problems may not have an immediate or a permanent cure. This article will prescribe three such aspirins. Try them. You may be pleasantly surprised.

ASPIRIN - 1 This is a method suggested by a popular Indian spiritual guru to solve your nagging worries.

Method-1 “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes.” 30

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

“Do you have a solution?”

“Yes” “Then why worry?”

Method-2 “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes.” “Do you have a solution?”

“No” “Then why worry?”

If you read the above methods a couple of times you will realize how amazing his suggestions are for ejecting that invisible monkey called worry from your shoulders.

ASPIRIN - 2 Listen to this Amazing Song When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I 31

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

be rich? Here's what she said to me. Que será, será. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que será, será. What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love, I asked my sweetheart, what lies ahead? Will we have rainbows, day after day? Here's what my sweetheart said. Que será, será. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see.

Que será, será. What will be, will be Now I have children of my own. They ask their mother, what will I be? Will I be handsome? Will I be rich? I tell them tenderly Que será, será. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que será, será. What will be, will be. Que será, será 32

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Summary - The expression “what will be will be” is used to describe the concept that fate will decide the outcome of countless events in our life, even if we take action to alter them. This is something you say when you are stuck in a hopeless situation, but have decided to accept gracefully. This is similar to the phrase – It’s what it is.

This was a song written by the team of Jay Livingston and Ray Evans in the 1950s. Doris Day introduced it in the Alfred Hitchcock film The Man Who Knew Too Much. Que Sera Sera is a Spanish statement that means Cheerful Fatalism.

ASPIRIN - 3 Read these Quotes 33

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

It has often been observed that a short piercing sentence, a stinging insult, or a chance remark by someone can have a terrific impact on you than a long sermon or advice. And inspirational

quotes

are

short

piercing

sentences of wisdom that can puncture your high stress and change your life in an instant.

So, whenever you are feeling doubtful about your own abilities, when disappointments are staring at your face, and you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel simply dive into some great quotes and you will begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming sorrow. Here are ten such quick quotes to get a sudden dose of inspiration.

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was 34

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

always some obstacle in the way, something that had to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, and a debt to be paid. Then my real life would begin.

At last it dawned on me that those obstacles were my real life - Alfred D Souza If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you then it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never yours to begin with George H. Powell Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again - Abraham Maslow This is a ruthless world and one must be ruthless to cope with it - Charlie Chaplin

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand - Thomas Carlyle Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful Mark Victor Hansen Fall down seven times, stand up eight Japanese proverb If you are going through hell, keep going – Winston Churchill

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people will seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self-destruct.

It never fails. - Richard Rybolt Don’t get angry. Don’t raise your voice. Just negotiate. - The Godfather

***** Back to Contents

37

What Book should I Write?

Writing & Publishing

O

nce a coworker wanted to write a book and asked me some questions, “Hey, I am thinking of writing a book.

What book should I write? Tell me a topic that will sell well�

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

“Advanced nuclear physics is quite popular.”

“Stop kidding. I don’t know anything about advanced nuclear physics. Tell me what books should I write?”

“How about vampire adventures on Saturn?”

“No, not possible. I am not good at such stories. Tell me which books are popular and will have good sales.”

“How about X, Y, and Z?” “Hmm, not possible.”

After a few more jokes and his rejections I told him an author cannot simply write books on any genre just because he or she saw that category sells well. This is a mistake many writers do. Too many budding writers think they should write books on genres that are 39

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

popular with a high probability of good sales.

But this is not possible. Unless you are secretly plagiarizing some other famous author’s book the harsh answer is you simply cannot write a book on any subject just because that is a popular genre.

So, what books can an aspiring writer write?

For this you must first decide on whether you are going to write fiction or non-fiction. Let us assume that you want to write non-fiction.

Now which non-fiction book can you write?

The obvious answer is you must have some experience in that subject. For example, if you are an expert in physics then it will be easy for you to write a book on physics. But that experience is of no use if you attempt to write a book on molecular biology. So, before 40

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

attempting to write a non-fiction book you should ask yourself some hard question like below.

For which topic do I have sufficient experience to write a hundred page book? If there are already dozens of good books on that topic how will my book be different from the crowd? Next, to which reader level should I write? For example, if you have only a diploma or high school knowledge of physics then you cannot attempt to write an advanced physics book that may be reviewed and scrutinized by PhDs in physics. Only after asking a bunch of such questions you should start writing your book and not simply dive in to write a nonfiction book that will cater to everyone.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Now let us talk about fiction. When it comes to fiction there are dozens of topics to choose from like romance, thriller, fantasy, ghosts, children, mystery, and so on. Ask for which topic will your imagination be useful? What is the story and plot? Can you write a hundred plus pages of exciting content on that story?

Does that story make sense when viewed from various angles?

For example, you cannot write a 1950s mystery thriller and have the detective operating a smartphone or watching an LED TV. So, ask several questions like this before starting your book. Remember, some story topics will be suitable for a dozen pages and not for a full length book. It can be very frustrating if you cannot imagine content that 42

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

can fill the remaining pages. Secondly, you should not fill fluff and unwanted information just to make the book thick. Readers are smart and will recognize if authors attempt this trick.

So, they may write nasty reviews that can nosedive your future sales.

Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Now I will give some important advice.

What not to write? - In your excitement to become famous quickly, you may get ideas to write crazy or dangerous books. But avoid all such temptations as it can get you and your family members into trouble. What not to write is even more important than what to write. Often in your enthusiasm words and sentences can flow like a mad river and you may write something horrible that you momentarily think is funny or harmless. But it could be laced with trouble when reviewed carefully. So, take care to frequently pause your writing to view it from different angles and from the reader’s perspective.

Remember freedom of expression is not absolute and you will never know how readers 45

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

will respond to your writings. People are subjective creatures and not objective ones.

You cannot always call a spade a spade and get away with it. Also never write books that promote

or

glamorize

racism,

pervert

behaviors, hate-related, pornography, drugs, religiously explosive stuff, vulgarity, etc. Such books are only for shady authors.

Don’t listen to idealists: Many idealistic readers, writers, TV studio heroes, and the clueless media often argue that authors must have the complete creative freedom to write whatever they want, or that the pen is mightier than the sword, etc. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and in reality the sword can cut off the hand that wields the pen.

Remember what happened to Salman Rushdie 46

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

who had to go into hiding for several years because of a death threat to him for his Satanic Verses book. Similarly, many authors worldwide have been beaten, attacked, banned, deported and even killed for writing nasty books.

Also be careful about writing humor as it can backfire badly if you don’t know certain rules.

Don’t make fun of religion, caste, race, physical disabilities, gender or language of anyone.

Humor in these areas can start riots on the streets or even start a war. Also don’t use real names of people, friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. You will never know how they may get offended. For example, imagine writing a book on your cranky neighbor or colleague and filling it with embarrassing facts or fiction 47

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

without his permission. So, if you like to write humor, the best way is always self-directed.

That is, point the humor towards yourself.

That way you will not annoy anyone.

Remember people will laugh heartily if you make fun of yourself, but they may be outraged if you make fun of them.

To summarize the story. Writing a book is not simply choosing some genre that is popular. Nor should you write books that can put you or your family members in danger.

You have to be careful in choosing the subject and ask yourself a bunch of questions before starting the book. Only after you have answered those questions you should start writing the book.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Finally, we can end this article with a quote

by William Faulkner who said - "Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window."

***** Back to Contents

49

Help - I'm Consciously Incompetent!

Personal Development by Carl Broadbridge

I

want to share a psychological framework that I have found really useful over a

number of years. One which helps me (and may also help you) make sense of people’s feelings (including your own) as you go through changes and learning.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

THE FOUR STAGES OF LEARNING The framework was first described in the Gospel Guardian by Martin Broadwell as “the four levels of teaching” way back in February 1969 and came to my attention in a management training course I attended many years ago. In the article, Broadwell described a learning framework which has four stages to it; 1. Unconscious

incompetence

-

The

individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize the gap.

2. Conscious incompetence - Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, they recognize the gap in their knowledge or skills.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

3. Conscious competence - The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires concentration.

4. Unconscious

competence

-

The

individual has had so much practice with a skill that it has become "second nature" and can be performed easily. As a result, the skill may be performed even while executing another task.

The easiest example I know of to explain the model is learning how to drive a car.

1. Starting

at

the

initial

stage

of

Unconscious Incompetence, you don’t know how to drive a car, but you don’t even know that you can’t.

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

2. At the second stage of Conscious Incompetence you realize that you don’t know how to drive a car, and it is something that you will have to learn.

3. By

the

third

stage

of

Conscious

Competence you have learnt how to drive, but it requires concentration – remembering turn signals, checking mirrors and all the little tasks that make up driving a car.

4. In the fourth stage of Unconscious Competence you have probably been driving a car for a while, and you can do it without thinking about it – maybe you start daydreaming or singing along to the radio, and the car seems to “drive itself”!

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

Here’s a way to visualize the model’s four stages; 1 – Unconscious Incompetence

4 – Unconscious competence

I don’t know that I can’t drive the

I can drive the car so well that it

car!

becomes automatic for me. I don’t have to think about it anymore.

2 – Conscious incompetence

3 – Conscious Competence

I know I can’t drive the car, and I

I have learnt how to drive the car

will need to learn if I want to gain

but I have to really concentrate

the skill.

while I am driving.

STRIVING FOR CONSCIOUS COMPETENCE I’ve found this framework really useful in my working life and been through this cycle multiple times myself – with each new skill or role that needed to be mastered. I’ve certainly had

the

feeling

of

being

Consciously

Incompetent in the office many times!

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Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

I’ve also seen my people working through these learning stages and, like me, sometimes struggling to get to Conscious Competence, but there are no shortcuts.

Getting to Conscious Competence requires self-awareness AND effort – it’s not as simple as realizing you don’t know something and then magically acquiring the skill!

You need a growth mindset to make the learning “leap” - accepting that you don’t know something, but having a belief that you can learn it. I found that a level of persistence is also required as it may take a lot of time and effort to master complex skills.

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I’ve seen people struggle and give up. I’ve heard these comments often - “It’s too hard!”, or “I just can’t do it!” Some people simply give up and live with the fact that they will never be Consciously Competent at a task, but that attitude can hold you back –especially where I find it’s becoming more important to be an adaptable and flexible learner when gaining new skills.

Failure is not falling down. It’s not getting up again.

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Frustratingly, even after putting in the effort, I’ve found getting to Unconscious Competence doesn’t mean you will stay there!

It’s possible to “slip back” down the stages – maybe not all the way to Unconscious Incompetence, but I know that after having a small “fender bender” in my car that I have certainly gone from Unconscious Competence back to Conscious Competence for a while – being much more aware and cautious about my driving.

I also know that without practice, some skills get so rusty that you can fall from Conscious Competence to Conscious Incompetence – “I used to know how to do this, but I’ve forgotten

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how!” It may take some relearning or remembering to lift back up again.

I really enjoy sharing this framework with my people when they come to me with their learning struggles. It makes it clear that there are stages of learning which we all go through, and that it’s natural to feel a little lost and frustrated at points in the learning journey.

They usually feel a lot happier after the conversation.

Hopefully you and your people will find it useful as well!

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About the Author – Carl Broadbridge is a senior technology executive with significant skills and leadership experience in employee development, customer service, agile delivery processes,

financial

management,

infrastructure

operations,

and

service

management. He is currently the Head of Technology and Tech area Lead in ANZ, Bangalore.

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Keep Away from Negative People Stress Management by Prof AVR Rao

K

eep away from all shades of negative and toxic people in your life.

Negative

people are those who are always fault finders, fear generators, spirit robbers, confidence killers, danger creators, argument lovers, selfesteem blowers, dream killers, fear generators, 61

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

self-seeking, tale carriers, faith blasters, hate mongers, rumor mongers, blame fixers, constant complainers, liars, back-stabbers, dominance cravers and so on.

Such people are always near and around us and will be eagerly miffing their way into our lives trying to rent space in our minds; keep them away by raising your rents!

Because

they destroy your self-esteem and selfconfidence and drag you backwards in the pursuit of your noble goals of life besides creating enemies out of your friends. They find their happiness and fulfilment when they see you tumble and bleed (emotionally). They do not add any value to your life but, on the contrary, inject gibberish and debris to your character, reputation, dreams and aspirations.

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Negative

people

always

take

joy

in

undermining your value, destroying your selfesteem and confidence and belittling your dreams and aspirations.

They make fun of

your visionary thoughts and abilities, drain your energy and pull you back from your goals.

People who judge, doubt, unreasonably criticize and disrespect you are not worth your company. They generate negative energy in you which you may have to fight against.

They look for a problem in every solution instead of the other way.

Remember, you

cannot live life amidst negative and toxic people, much less trying to please them. To the extent you keep negative people and negative thoughts away, positive people and positive thoughts inhabit their place. Both 63

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

negative and positive people/thoughts cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, positive or negative. You choose; do not blame others.

Winning over all negative

tendencies that poison and weaken the mind results in development of a calm mind, which is a guarantee to sustained happiness.

However, you yourself should not fall into their traps by taking a negative outlook about them; just pardon them for their petty mindedness and detach mentally (if possible physically also) from negative people and still reap positive results!. Negative people strive to make you one of them; defeat their purpose and frustrate them. Keep away from them, ignore them or sympathize with them and 64

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forgive them, but never trust and follow them.

However, if it is inevitable to live with negative people, see positively what lessons you may learn from them like, how not to treat people, how not to hate people, how not to trap people, and so on.

Do not waste your time

and energy in trying to reform negative people. They can never be reformed, just as you cannot make neem sweeter by pouring honey into their roots. They should come out of the negativity on their own by learning from their own experiences and observing positive qualities in others.

If you want to rise above positively, you must drop negative people from your mind (if not from life) like hot cakes.

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With this, identifying negative people becomes easy and if you need more assistance, just look around or open the internet or read Bhagawad Gita, in particular Chapter 14.

A conscious effort is required to keep negative people/thoughts away and develop positivity in all spheres of life so that life can be a pleasure to live.

Negative attitude within yourself is as dangerous as negative people. Here are a few features of some typical negative people and negative thoughts.

Perennial criticizers and doomsayers They criticize and condemn every speech and action of yours and can never look at these objectively to discriminate between right 66

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

and wrong.

They take the stand that they

know all and all others are stupid and that you should live your life in conformity with their ways!. Law of averages, of course, result some of them in being right and some wrong.

If

future events turn out to be right, then these people exclaim ‘look I had told you beforehand about this’; if wrong, they still explain saying ‘it should have happened the way I cautioned, but you were just lucky to escape’.

Dominance seekers - Their only purpose is to assert their

self-proclaimed

superior

wisdom and assert that they will never go wrong. Often, their ambition manifests in the guise of ‘concern’ for you and expect every action of yours to be in conformity with their views. A familiar example is a spouse who 67

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forces the partner to eat more to keep healthy!

Even when his/her voice is rude, you cannot complain because what he/she is saying is supposed to be in the interest of the partner’s well-being.

Exaggerators - No matter whether you go out occasionally or once in a way, these exaggerators magnify the event beyond the limits of truth and report to your well-wishers that you are a rambler and that is the reason why you get into difficulties often! Even a sip of coffee that refreshes you in a day will, in their view, brand you a coffee addict.

Any

physical ailment, big or small, will be attributed to that ‘addiction’.

Constant complainers - To these people, nothing is right in the world. Whether it rains 68

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or shines, these people grind their teeth in anguish and disgust. These people cannot set their personal life in order taking shelter under the excuse that they are not allowed to do so as others are not doing their job well – teachers, parents, family members, public servants etc.; nobody attends to their duties sincerely and nothing is right in the world.

Super-advisors - These know-alls cannot take care of themselves or their families, but can always advise even the Prime Minister or the Supreme Court judge as to what action he should have taken or not what not. You may be a legal expert, but they claim their knowledge to be superior and hasten to tell you how to solve a legal problem! They have a solution for every problem of yours! You may 69

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

be an able administrator and head of a big institution, but these super-advisors have an expert solution for any critical problem that you might have!

‘Don’t’ masters - Whatever you do, these ‘don’t’ masters have only one advice – ‘don’t‘.

Even a simple plan to take a walk will be struck down by them saying that traffic is bad out there or it is sure to rain.

I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget it the computer will say - Your password is incorrect

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Problem lovers - Negative people focus on problems, positive people on solutions.

Fear generators - Fear is the darkroom where negatives develop and fear generators are the ones who pull you down from all your forward steps. Suppose you are rushing to lift up an old man whom you observe falling down, these fear generators come up instantly to tell you ‘don’t touch him, you might have to take the blame yourself and face the police’.

Worrying heads - They are always worrying about what happens tomorrow and want you to appreciate and join them in their crazy worries. They try to come up with solutions for every problem that might arise in future – physical, mental and spiritual.

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Rituals specialists - These are people who keep bombarding and filling you with doubts and fears if you do not follow religious rituals.

Are you going out? Don’t leave the house in Rahukalam!

Pessimists - Their focus is always on the negatives of life events and they always nourish a mental attitude of expecting (sometimes being certain) outcome of any activity to be bad and harmful. They destroy even the slightest hope that you might have that the outcome may be positive.

Rumor mongers - He not only spreads wrong information, but malicious, unfounded and defaming information, otherwise known as rumors, dobber, big-mouth and blabbermouth. Though he does so because of 73

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

immaturity and mania, his actions might cause severe character assassination leading to serious situations like even suicide.

Under-achievers - He/she is a person who fails to achieve his/her potential or does not do as well as expected. This is mostly on account of the person entertaining or living in various negative traits discussed above.

Is there way out? - Yes. Surround yourself with positive minded people, far they will strengthen you to achieve your goals and keep your mind calm and at peace. Positive people create energy, enthusiasm, self-confidence, courage and self-esteem in you and push you up towards your noble goals in life. They reveal themselves up with traits opposite to those discussed above.

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Look at the opposites of negativity. God has created life with a perfect balance. If there are negative people and negative thoughts in this world, there are equal number, if not more, of the opposite, i.e. positive people and positive thoughts too. Turn your mind towards them.

That way, you can have the best of both!

Walk away Here is an interesting anonymous WhatsApp message illustrating the purport of the message above. *"Walking"* is the best exercise!!! đ&#x;šś đ&#x;šś đ&#x;šś 75

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

đ&#x;šś đ&#x;šś đ&#x;šś đ&#x;šś *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from arguments that leads you to nowhere but anger. *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from people who deliberately put you down. *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from any thought that reduces your worth. *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from failures and fears that stifle your dreams. *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from people who do not care for you and who are opportunistic.

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The more you *Walk Away* đ&#x;šś from things that poison your soul, the happier your life will be. *Give Yourself A Walk*đ&#x;šś Towards love, peace, kindness and goodness *Give Yourself A Walk*đ&#x;šśđ&#x;šś May God help us daily to walk in the right direction, to walk towards Him and with Him. About the Author

Prof. AVR Rao retired as a senior Company Executive

holding

various

positions

as

Company Secretary, Vice President and General Manager in public, private and 77

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

multinational sectors. His last employment was at ANZ Banking Group of Companies. He is now a free-lance visiting professor in management schools and universities. He can be contacted at avrrao@yahoo.com

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Wrong Examples of Leadership Workplace Leadership

A

nyone who has attended or listened to training courses or lectures on business

leadership will know that many presenters often use examples of political and military leaders. For example, they will include stories 79

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and quotes of Churchill, Lincoln, Washington, Patton, etc., while teaching students to become workplace leaders. But have you ever questioned if they are valid examples to use when teaching business leadership. My answer is no. They are not the right examples even though what those folks did in history was impressive. Now let us see why.

Business leadership is in no way comparable to political or military leadership. This is because the problems and dangers that business leaders face is nothing compared to the problems political and military leaders face daily. Business leadership is like playing caroms, chess, and soft sports while political and military leadership are like playing life threatening adventure sports.

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Business leaders don’t face the kind or risks and headaches of political and military leaders.

For example, prime ministers, presidents, top politicians, military commanders, etc., face constant life threats from internal and external enemies. Hundreds of politicians have been assassinated for various reasons. Even their family members are not safe from death and kidnapping threats. No top politician or military person can travel freely without a bunch of security personnel.

Business leaders only experience trade and commerce

related

headaches.

But

the

headaches of political and military leaders are hundred times more like death threats, citizen uprising, rebellions, coup and hit jobs by opposition parties, war threats by enemy 81

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

nations, terrorism, international trade hassles, sucking up to various kinds of castes, religions, sects, media scrutiny and fake news, decisions being overturned in the parliament, election unpredictability, etc.

Now let us talk about salaries. Today many top businessmen get salaries in millions of dollars and several other perks. But if you check the salaries of any top political or military leaders worldwide their salaries will be one fifth or less, in spite of having a hundred times more headaches and risks. Though political and military leaders may enjoy status and perks while in office, they will not have millions of dollars legally earned in their bank accounts when they retire (excluding the corrupt ones).

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In business, wrong decisions can result in stock prices nosediving, a product failing, or some other financial loss. But in political leadership wrong decisions can result in riots on the streets, trade wars between countries, opposition and media fearmongering in the public, or even the government collapsing. For example,

business

downsize

their

leaders

employees

can

quickly

without

any

rebellion. But if politicians try that even on their loss making government establishments there can be trade union riots, strikes, closure of offices, opposition parties adding fuel to fire, etc.

Business leaders don’t have a bloodthirsty opposition party in their offices waiting gleefully to obstruct office work, delay or 83

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overturn decisions, instigate employees, twist management statements, etc. The only opposition the top management in some companies may have is from their trade unions and board members.

Business leaders directly or indirectly lead only hundreds or thousands of employees. But political and military leaders have to directly or indirectly lead and manage millions of citizens.

Every decision they take may make one group happy and ten groups unhappy. Secondly, political and military leaders have to face the wrath of the people when there are mass deaths due to violence, famines, floods, riots, wars, etc. In addition to all the above headaches they also face headaches like office politics that exist in the corporate world.

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So, as you can see using examples of political and military leaders and what they said or did in their world is not applicable in the business world. The next time someone sprinkles political and military examples in their leadership training ask them about these headaches ď Š

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Guide to Corporate Offsites Humor

Mummy, why are those noisy humans coming to our forest again and again?

They are from the information technology industry dear.

They are here to learn how to collaborate successfully with razor sharp precision to changing global market demands by continuously inspiring and motivating each other through strategy oriented process drivers till they overcome all obstacles by unlocking their true potential and use their core competency to become true business leaders capable of navigating through rough business terrains. We shall go and see their wacky games later.

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Children Section

T

his section is dedicated to articles for children and also their own contributions.

You can submit articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids for consideration.

This is to encourage them to cultivate the awesome habit of writing and reading books and magazines, instead of thinking that their computers, smartphones, and tablets are only for playing games and chatting.

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Comics – The Lost Priceless Treasures Nostalgia

T

his section is dedicated to remembering the golden era of comics that lasted from

the 1930s till the late 1980s. When we were kids we didn’t have dozens of TV channels, Smartphones, Apps, Internet, Social Media, etc.

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Our main sources of entertainment were movies in theaters, a radio set, books, magazines, playgrounds, and the wonderful world of comics. Dozens and dozens of brilliant

graphic

comics

would

hit

our

magazine newsstands every month ranging from as low as 10 cents to 50 cents. The arrival of our favorite comic every month was always a gala affair that would send a thrilling chill down our spine. We even had awesome libraries that would lend us comics for a small fee.

Practically, every child on our planet grew up as diehard fans of various comic book heroes, heroines, and villains. Collecting and protecting our comics was a thrilling exercise, and we had to guard our precious comics from 90

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our mischievous friends, cousins, relatives, etc., who would vanish with our priceless treasures.

Each comic book’s hero, heroine, and villain would take us deep into their imaginary wonderland and make us laugh, cry, giggle, angry, and even get furious. The stories used to so great that countless comics could have been easily been made in super movies. Did you know that each comic were meticulously hand drawn and colored by those great comic artists as there were no graphic softwares like today?

Want to know how those golden comics looked? See the next few pages for some awesome covers. Some lucky grown up child will be having these lovely treasures stored in 91

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their attics or cupboards somewhere on our planet (sigh!).

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Watch out for more awesome covers in next month’s issue.

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A Few Questions FAQs

How do we contact you?

Via email on thejendra@yahoo.com or thejendrabs@gmail.com.

I am a writer and want to submit articles to your magazine. Will you accept it?

Yes, as long as the article is related to personal development topics. It would also be good if you have your own website, blog, etc., for readers to contact you. If you want to contribute regularly, then I would prefer you

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become my magazine subscriber. This link contains the submission details and template.

Do you pay for articles?

Not yet. This is still a new magazine and to pay you my circulation must improve. But I will provide a PDF copy of the magazine if I include your article in this magazine.

What kind of articles do you accept?

Your articles must be related to selfimprovement, stress management, leadership, management, writing, publishing, and so on. It must help the reader learn something useful for their life skills. Also, your article must be your own and not copied from anywhere. All 99

Self Improvement International – February 2020 Issue

images used must cite sources and must be free for personal and commercial usage. I can also consider publishing articles, drawings, and paintings done by your kids to push them towards the habit of reading books and magazines.

Do you accept advertisements in your magazine?

Yes, you can have a half-page or a full-page advertisement. Half page is US$10 and fullpage is US$20 (see samples next page).

Authors can also advertise their books and its short summary for just US$5/-. For half page send a JPG or PNG file of size 5 inch x 3.75 inch and for full-page send a 5 inch x 7.5 inch size file.

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I have some other questions.

Just send me an email.

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About the Editor

Thejendra Sreenivas is an Author and Life Skills Coach and offers personalized coaching in Book Publishing and Personal Development. He has also written 20+ mild & wild books on a number of subjects. His inspiration for writing unique books comes from Toni Morrison who said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Please visit his web cave - www.thejendra.com for details of his books, magazine, and coaching information.

Check out his other unique books.

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Wealth of the Wise