Mentors matter to people young and old

As students prepare for spring studies and contemplate summer activities, it is a good time to consider fnding a mentor who can ofer seasoned advice. At the same time, those who are newly retired or young professionals who are being encouraged to be in active society might consider becoming a mentor.

What is a mentor? A mentor is usually a more experienced person who becomes a source of guidance and wisdom. A mentor is someone who demonstrates care and concern so the mentee can feel more confdent about the paths ahead. The mentor can be a teacher or coach, a neighbor or relative. It is not necessarily someone who meets on a regular schedule with a younger person for a long period of time. Mentors and role models can do that or be more intermittent in their relationship.

The mentor is a source of encouragement to raise aspirations and the conduit to new networks. Generally, the mentoring relationship focuses on character more than on competency and the mentor is more cheerleader than critic. The mentor and mentee can meet wherever and whenever it is convenient. It is important for the mentor to meet the parents of the mentee.

Over the years, I have benefted from mentors. There are three people who qualify unquestionably and others who vie for contention. Some were accidental mentors, and perhaps not aware of the role they were playing. Others were intentional.

The frst was an antique dealer in Mount Vernon, N.Y., whose name I have forgotten, but whose kindness toward me at a time of stress was critically important. My mother had died; my sister and I lived in separate cities with diferent relatives while our father recovered from bankruptcy. After reuniting with them, I began “acting out” with some other junior high school boys who were prone to trouble.

After several incidents of harassing the shopkeeper, knocking on his door, and calling him disparaging names, he must have seen something in me I had not felt. He called me in, asked my name and about my family, and, after setting me straight about my behavior, ofered to hire me to dust, move boxes and answer the phone. I learned that he was a widely traveled, knowledgeable person who knew the history and provenance of each object. I don’t recall working for him more than a few months, but his respect for me was an inspiration.

In 11th grade, while other students were contemplating college, I was uncer- tain of my future. Neither of my parents had gone beyond high school. One day, my tenth-grade biology teacher, Joe Leone, in whose class I had earned a rare “A,” stopped me in the hallway and asked, “Bobby, why haven’t you signed up for the SATs?” Why, indeed? No one had encouraged me. The guidance offce, knowing my family circumstances, had urged me to apply to an inexpensive Midwestern public university that didn’t require the exams and was eager to enroll out-of-state students. I took the SATs, earned a scholarship to Bucknell, and the rest as they say, is history — — a his- tory whose critical “hinge” was a teacher whose class I had taken a year earlier and who cared enough to encourage me.

As a sophomore at Bucknell, I had doubts about why I was in school and whether I could aford to stay, even with campus jobs. I decided that I should enlist in the U.S. Navy as my father had. Fortunately, my English professor and faculty adviser, Mildred Martin, talked me into rethinking my decision and urged me to see the dean about additional scholarship assistance. Together, they helped me fgure out how I could stay fnancially and why I should stay intellectually. I still have the letter detailing the increased aid and the standards I would have to meet to maintain it. They taught me that it is OK to ask for help.

Later, when I was president of Ramapo College of New Jersey, I would meet twice a year or so with James Perkins, the former president of Cornell University whom I got to know when I was an associate dean there. Dr. Perkins’ frequent refrain, “Secure your footing before you extend your reach,” has stayed with me as good advice for life as well as mountain climbing.

These mentors are among the many teachers, advisers, professors, deans, supervisors, and secretaries who have ofered me guidance and shared their wisdom.

I also have served as a mentor to students and colleagues at various stages in my career and theirs. I think of a distinguished professor at Cornell whom I met when he was a freshman applicant and became my advisee, and a young admissions ofcer at Ramapo College who became a mentee and friend at many points in his life.

In reviewing my role as one who has been mentored, and as a mentor myself, I am reminded that the relationship does not have to be formal and structured. The important elements are for each to take the other seriously, and to realize that each can learn from the other.

Think about the mentors you have known and those you have mentored. You may have become a mentor almost accidentally for a classmate, a teammate, or someone at work or on the residence hall. Just think broadly about the purpose and value of mentoring. It does not have to be long and costly; it is about sincere and authentic relationships, valued contact, and fostering opportunities for others.

Robert A. Scott, President Emeritus, Adelphi University and Author, How University Boards Work, Johns Hopkins University Press, 2018, Eric Hofer Book Honoree, 2019