Inlander 08/09/2018

PUNTING WHO WANTS A DOWNTOWN STADIUM? PAGE 13

SKULL AND BONES MEET WASHINGTON’S ANTHROPOLOGIST PAGE 20

PARTY WITH A PURPOSE GLEASON FEST RETURNS ON SATURDAY PAGE 45

AUGUST 9-15, 2018 | FEEDING HUNGRY READERS SINCE 1993

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INSIDE VOL. 25, NO. 38 | COVER DESIGN: DEREK HARRISON

COMMENT 5 NEWS 13 COVER STORY 22

CULTURE 31 FOOD 36 FILM 40

MUSIC 45 EVENTS 50 GREEN ZONE 56

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EDITOR’S NOTE

D

aniel Walters, our hard-nosed news reporter, usually reserves his grilling skills for politicians, hucksters and charlatans, but this week, for our entertainment, he recounts his adventures in COOKING. Turns out, we all love a good train wreck, even if we have to choke down the results in the end (page 22).

Also this week: Contributing writer Carrie Scozzaro explores the empowering production Girls, Awake! (page 31); education reporter Wilson Criscione digs deeper into the proposed downtown stadium (page 13); film editor Nathan Weinbender examines the staying power of the movie Grease, featured at an upcoming Suds & Cinema screening (page 43); commentator Inga Laurent has some words for her mother (page 8); and staff reporter Mitch Ryals profiles Washington’s state anthropologist who spends his days analyzing ancient bones (page 20).

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COMMENT STAFF DIRECTORY PHONE: 509-325-0634 Ted S. McGregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com)

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR BIGGEST COOKING DISASTER?

PUBLISHER

J. Jeremy McGregor (x224) GENERAL MANAGER

EDITORIAL Jacob H. Fries (x261) EDITOR

Dan Nailen (x239) ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

JOHANNES PUCHER

There’s one dish that is really popular in my girlfriend’s family that’s some kind of tuna-rice and I like eating it a lot. I tried to cook it on my own, but I failed totally my first five times.

It tasted terrible. Finally, I had to ask my girlfriend’s mother to teach me in detail how to cook it. Now I can cook it decently.

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Fortunately the slicer comes with a guard so you don’t injure yourself. But once when I was making apple pie, the guard would fly off every three slices or so and I came within inches of cutting my hand. It ended up working out and we had some really good pie, but there were some close calls.

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I’m on the quest to make the perfect macaroon and I have failed completely so far. I have the baking scale and everything, but every time I’ve tried they’ve been overdone or dense monsters.

PRODUCTION & SUPPORT Wayne Hunt (x232) PRODUCTION MANAGER Alissia Blackwood Mead (x228), Derrick King (x238), Jessie Hynes (x205), Tom Stover (x265) GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

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ALIZA RODGERS

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August Heat As primary election results are tallied, the mood of the American people will come into greater focus

BY GEORGE NETHERCUTT

A

ugust is primary month for many states holding elections (like Washington’s this week), and it’s a pivotal election month for all Americans. It will likely also be a test for Republican candidates and the presidency of Donald Trump — voters can finally gauge the president’s popularity after nearly two years in office. It will also test whether Republican officeholders have sufficiently upset voters to justify being replaced.

Charlie Cook, the venerable, reliable political prognosticator, has Democrats leading in generic ballot polls (not a good sign for Republicans), but the economy seems strong, so Charlie’s predictions may not hold.

Challengers have emerged for Republican leadership positions, further signaling a Democratic sweep. Not too many Republicans want the Freedom Caucus to be in charge of the House, since it would lead to further American polarization. Democrats face a similar dilemma of extremism — their left wing seems to have taken control of their party, not a position where most Democrats live. In fact, their left flank now outnumbers their moderate ranks.

Democratic House leaders are older (Nancy Pelosi is nearly 80, Steny Hoyer is 77), so a new crop of Democratic leaders is due to further energize Democratic voters. Republican House leaders are younger, but the Republican right wing threatens the party’s broad base.

T

he greatest challenge for America will present itself if Democrats succeed in taking over the House — impeachment charges will likely emerge against President Trump, because so many Democrats are repelled by his policies and his frequent disruptive tweets, ranging from disparaging our commitment to NATO to criticizing LeBron James. Many Americans are disgusted by his frequent comments, though they generally like his policies — and, again, the economy is good. History tells us that when the American economy is strong, incumbents are re-elected.

But that principle could prove flawed, especially if special prosecutor Robert Mueller reveals damning findings against Trump. Or if a jury convicts Paul Manafort and President Trump pardons him. While a LETTERS pardon may Send comments to be acceptable editor@inlander.com. to Trump supporters, they represent only about 40 percent of the electorate.

The other 60 percent or so would possibly vote for another candidate than those in Trump’s orbit.

Either way, Trump’s diatribes against Robert Mueller seem to be a case of too frequently

protesting his innocence.

Trump’s 2020 re-election bid will be determined by what credible Democrat or Republican (or possibly an independent) emerges to challenge him. He’ll have to defend his record, including his campaign promise that Mexico would pay for a border wall — a promise he’s essentially abandoned in favor of American taxpayers funding a wall, a position Trump insists upon with Congress even now.

This August, primary season will pit Trump’s candidates against others. The resulting votes may be viewed as a referendum on the Trump presidency, although he seems content to have about 40 percent of the electorate on his side. If Trump’s endorsed candidates win (in Florida, for example), he will claim credit, since he personalizes most of what occurs in the world.

If moderate candidates lose, it will be evident that America has turned right and that political polarization will probably remain throughout the Trump presidency. It will also illustrate the influence of Donald Trump. Perhaps that’s why so many Republicans who are offended by his style walk a fine line between opposition and endorsement.

Even so, the majority of the American electorate is generally unhappy with Trump’s style.

Still, he’s changed the political atmosphere so that everyone and everything is suspicious — the mainstream press is suspect, some officeholders are “establishment-oriented” (and therefore suspect) and anyone who opposes or questions Trump should be replaced.

I

t all makes for plenty of political drama, but zero stability. The imposition of tariffs, a potential trade war and rising interest rates could impact the Trump presidency. If the economy goes south, that would also affect Trump’s electoral chances, as American jobs impact elections, both presidential and congressional. Though some Trump supporters will remain loyal forever, the majority of voters are skeptical, believing that Trump is egomaniacal, self-centered and opportunistic — traits that don’t resonate well with traditional voters who want stability. Trump’s style leads to instability in the world, as he praises America’s traditional enemies (Russia) and criticizes America’s traditional friends (Canada).

Though August is historically a vacation month for most Americans, this year it’s packed with political consequences that could have longterm effects on the United States. n

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THE YEAR THAT WAS… 2008

The Black Eyed Peas separate the world into those who were “2008” and those who were “2000-and-late.” Marvel kicks off its crazy plan to rule the cinematic universe with IRON MAN. And a fresh-faced, wide-eyed young intern named DANIEL WALTERS joins the Inlander, just in time for the Great Recession to kick off.

READY TO POP

In January of 2008, it didn’t yet look like a recession and there hadn’t been a market crash. Instead, the landscape of the Spokane market was a “relative malaise.” We even interviewed a manager of a long-in-the-works project called “KENDALL YARDS.” But that developer wasn’t Greenstone — it was Marshall Chesrown. Five years later he’d declare nearly $72 million in bankruptcy.

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“It’s still a WONDERFUL LIFE” we proclaimed on the first holiday guide to come after after the economic crash. On the cover, an exhausted George Bailey staring off into the middle distance, drink in his hand.

“We’re in a for a horrid recession,” section editor Luke Baumgarten predicts, accurately. “Maybe even another depression.” But from there, he delivers a stirring essay that wouldn’t feel out of place in one of those old Christmas classics: “Let’s return to being a nation of friends and fathers and brothers and sisters and mothers,” Baumgarten writes. “Let’s not just be a nation of consumers.” a wonder ful life Our annual gift guide, where we advised our readers on precisely how to consume, was just two weeks later.

The Nov. 27, 2008, issue

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We kicked off the year with 33 ideas to improve Spokane, including such ambitious notions as rehabbing Riverfront Park, bringing a grocery store downtown, reforming campaign finance for local elections and adding a police ombudsman to watch the cops. And we trusted Spokanites to answer even highly technical questions, with one “People on the Street” query asking strangers: “What do you think about Spokane County’s phosphates ban?”

They had thoughts. Detailed thoughts.

INLANDERS OF THE PAST AND FUTURE

We devoted two entire cover stories to historical figures like 19th-century suffragette MAY HUTTON and unpacked the complicated legacy — and modern debate — around CHIEF SPOKANE GARRY. But we also sought to tell the stories of the less famous — writing obituaries of homeless Spokanites who had died that year. And in the “Where Are They Now” category, no section beat our 20 under 30 cover, which featured an ADAM HEGSTED long before he launched two restaurants in Kendall Yards and the Incrediburger franchise.

And, of course, there was Baumgarten’s profile of local museum “repatriator” GINGER EWING. Later, Baumgarten married her. (DANIEL WALTERS)

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 7

COMMENT | COMMUNITY

Word to Your Mother

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Thank You for the Music(als)

BY INGA LAURENT

T

rying to write about love seems a most impossible task, similar to the struggles of those who have tried to describe God or construe meaning from our finite existence amidst the infinite.

Humans are limited, our comprehension and language wholly inadequate for characterizing the sacred.

But recently watching Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, has inspired me, so I’ma try.

My Momma and I loved each other more than words could ever say and so we rarely used them to convey our feelings. Mostly, I knew she loved me through deed, from the massive to the mundane. I could feel it in every touch, appointment scheduled, nickname uttered, in every smile, furrowed brow, hug and hum, snicker or smile, dorky dance move and silly eye roll. Her love for me emanated from her soul so resolutely that I had no trouble feeling it within the depths of my own without any declarations. Thus, I learned to display my sentiments in the same way and these forms of expression

WE MAKE IT. YOU BAKE IT.

served us well. However, when she was diagnosed with cancer, I fell apart and my methods of communication crumbled.

As she was slipping through my fingers, I was rendered mute from all the energy diverted into holding myself together. Strangely, the musical Mamma Mia! become a bridge over the insurmountable divide that I was desperate to overcome, another way to cross the stream. Together, we watched — her from the living room hospice bed and me from the couch, tucked under a blanket soaked with tears. We let those sappy songs and scenes wash over us and speak volumes about the special bond between this mother and daughter.

Years later, I assumed seeing the sequel was going to be pretty emotional (and judging from the surroundsound chorus of sniffles, I was hardly alone), but I wasn’t ready. I swear, if Rose Laurent could cajole and commandeer a director’s imagination to deliver messages, this movie (without giving too much away) would be a perfect summation of her philosophy.

Live a ridiculously full life. Though it will certainly be complete with mistakes, miscommunication, longing, pain and loss, let moments of exuberance always be interwoven. Laugh. Savor the raucous sensuality and succulence of life, the softness that restores a sense of balance to accompany the sadness we accumulate. Make your own way. In a society fixated on money, money, money, a winner-takes-it-all mindset, over valuing the individualist illusion, defy the increasing isolation creep by seeking out genuine connection. Great damage arises from the building-me-a-fence mentality; over-utilized barriers prevent anything challenging from ever entering. When all is said and done, only the love you choose to let in remains.

Rebuild. Be not afraid of creating new family, reach out to those who reach for you, both figuratively, through repeated acts of care, and literally, by asking you to “take a chance on me.” Relax. Allow yourself to rely on interconnection, on those who cook for you, who chase you down when you run, who humanely remove bee nests, who listen to podcasts with you, who blunder but always correct, who see you, who text you after parting, continuing the conversation, who follow-up and through, who accept you as you are… Delight in the kitsch and camp, always holding space open in your heart. Keep dancing (queen) and say thank you for the music. Who could live without it? I ask in all honesty. What would life be without a song or a dance? What are we? So… say thank you for your music, for giving it to me. n Inga N. Laurent is a local legal educator and a Fulbright scholar. She is deeply curious about the world and delights in uncovering common points of connection that unite our shared human experiences.

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You’re so money. financial educ ation presented by stcu.

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How to prepare for breakdowns, injuries, and other unexpected events.

Set up automatic transfers to the account every time you get paid.

If money is tight, you may have to start with small contributions and increase the size of those deposits over time. Remember, your ultimate goal is to maintain a fund that can cover three to six months of expenses.

“There will be setbacks when you have to pull out money for emergencies,” Sherry says. “So be patient with yourself as you fill the account back up.”

Still having trouble?

I

t’s a funny thing about emergencies. You don’t know they’re coming … but you kind of do.

Sherry recommends these strategies to free up some cash.

• Plug your spending leaks. Devote a couple of weeks to tracking what you spend, looking for unnecessary costs.

Illness. Injury. Damage to your home or car. Veterinary bills. Job loss. It’s just a matter of time before a costly event comes your way. And while the numbers are improving, about 40 percent of adults remain unprepared for an emergency expense of $400 or more, according to a 2017 report by the Federal Reserve.

• Scrutinize your monthly bills. You may decide to cancel or downgrade pricy phone plans, gym memberships, videostreaming services, and other plans you’re not fully using.

• Call your insurance agent or go online to search for better rates.

Why does it matter? Because financial security means more than paying your bills and saving for big purchases. It also means anticipating the unanticipated by building up a cash reserve to cover emergencies. So, when the transmission falls out of your car, you don’t have to put the repair on your credit card and start racking up interest charges.

Financial experts often recommend stashing enough in an emergency fund to cover three to six months’ worth of living expenses.

“That’s a lot of money, so set smaller milestones, starting with $500. Then a month’s worth of living expenses. Then two months’ worth. And so on,” says Sherry Wallis, an STCU financial educator.

How do you get started?

Your financial institution can help you set up a separate savings account that you can use for your emergency fund – separate from your other checking and savings accounts.

• Call your financial institution and ask if you qualify for a lower credit card rate.

• Find cheaper ways to treat yourself. Cook a fancy meal at home, instead of a pricy restaurant. Trade babysitter service with other families. Enjoy a bike ride instead of a movie.

What’s an emergency?

An emergency account is for emergencies. We’re talking unpleasant surprises of the medical, auto, home-repair nature.

It can take some willpower not to dip into the account when opportunities arise for travel, great bargains, or “farewell tour” concert tickets.

Just remember you’re creating something you’ll be glad to have: a measure of protection against the emergencies that surprise us … but really shouldn’t.

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10 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

COMMENT | FROM READERS

Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich

Readers respond to a story about Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich’s anger over white supremacist James Allsup’s appearance at a Spokane GOP event (8/2/18):

DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO

ANTHONY GILL: Spare me the grief, Ozzie. You’re hardly one to speak, given the fact that you used to give a virulently xenophobic, racist “The Threats We Face” presentation.

You’re no better than these people.

JORMA KNOWLES: I appreciate that Knezovich grasps more of the context and gravity of this situation than most of his fellow local conservatives, but he could and should have done more to fight them. This is a serious issue for his political party: They have truly become a group that represents modern public racism and intolerance. I understand why he and Cathy McMorris Rodgers would want nothing to do with Cecily Wright and James Allsup, but the fact of the matter is that they are essentially all rightwing party members.

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TONY DINARO: Ozzie’s the one Republican I always vote for.

DENNIS LUNSTROTH: As long as he continues to hold his deputies responsible for their behavior he’s gonna get my vote regardless of the R or D after his name. It’s not about that, it’s about performance and integrity. n

Readers respond to a story about a possible plan to replace the South Hill dog park with a new middle school (8/2/18):

CHAR SMITH: Spokane: “We are a real city, and we demand to be taken seriously!” Also Spokane: “Don’t you dare touch our dog park to help ease overcrowding in our schools.” Pick one, folks.

DIANA CABANA: Are we gonna prioritize children or dogs? Don’t get me wrong, I adore dogs, but our schools have a serious overcrowding problem. This land is better used for a school, with a replacement dog park created somewhere else.

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STEVE DUNN: South Hill whiners.

Most neighborhoods in Spokane don’t have dog parks! n

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 11

Creative people are welcome at SFCC. Designers, musicians, actors, painters and artists of all kinds can get their start at SFCC and earn a unique two-year arts degree.

Enroll Now. Classes start September 19. sfcc.spokane.edu

THANKS TO THE GENEROUS SUPPORT OF OUR PARTNERS AND THE COMMUNITY, WE RAISED OVER $4,000,000 THIS PAST WEEKEND TO FIGHT CANCER IN OUR REGION.

Community Colleges of Spokane provides equal opportunity in education and employment.

WE RAISED OVER $4,000,000.

(AND WE’RE STILL COUNTING!)

TO G E T H E R , W E A R E CO M M U N I T Y C A N CE R FU N D.

P R E S E N T I N G PA R T N E R :

E L I T E PA R T N E R S :

P L AT I N U M PA R T N E R S :

G O L D PA R T N E R S :

M A R K E T I N G PA R T N E R S :

L E A R N M O R E AT C O M M U N I T YC A N C E R F U N D.O R G

12 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

BENEFIT TING:

POLITICS

Leaving It on the Field

The idea for a new downtown stadium looked dead. Here’s how it was revived

BY WILSON CRISCIONE

I

n the basement of Spokane City Hall last week, with the deadline to make a decision fast approaching, Rick Romero faced the City Council with one final offer. This, he thought, could save the prospect of a new stadium downtown.

The pitch to the council was simple: Let voters decide where they want a new stadium to replace Joe Albi Stadium. This time, the question would have no money attached.

“I feel strongly that the decision we’re making here is one that we’re going to live with for the next 50 or 60 years,” says Romero, who does strategic planning for the city.

On Monday, the City Council took him up on the offer of letting voters make that decision. In a 5-1 vote, the council decided to put the question on the November ballot.

It’s the final piece of an unprecedented partnership between the city and Spokane Public Schools. The two entities have been working together since late last year on a joint bond request involving several land swaps to save money on new middle schools and libraries. The city and district officially got “married,” Romero says, in a joint

Joe Albi Stadium, pictured in 2015.

meeting where the council and school board together approved bond requests of nearly $600 million that will go to voters in the November election.

The school bond includes a request to replace Joe Albi, but doesn’t specify where. The district had planned to build it where Albi currently resides in northwest Spokane until the city had the idea to construct it downtown.

Thus far, the debate over a possible downtown stadium has cast a huge shadow over the new schools and the libraries, with neither the school board nor the City Council willing to take on the extra cost of building a stadium downtown.

And not even a week before the filing deadline to put it on the November ballot, the downtown stadium proposal looked dead.

‘THE BAD GUYS’

The idea for a downtown stadium was never supposed to be decided by the City Council. It was supposed to be on the Spokane Public Schools side of the ballot.

Yet for Spokane Public Schools, the easiest option was always to rebuild Joe Albi stadium where it currently sits in northwest Spokane.

“Our plan when we started the partnership was to build the stadium at Albi,” says Mark Anderson, associate superintendent of Spokane Public Schools.

Spokane Public Schools knew it needed to replace Albi. It’s oversized, with 30,000 seats making it feel empty during events that rarely see more than 1,500 attendees. The parking lot is dark, and the large space creates challenges with supervising high school kids. The concession roof is failing. The scoreboard needs to be replaced.

Importantly, the district also needs new middle schools. To ease overcrowding in elementary schools, the district recently decided to move the sixth grade out of the elementary level and into middle schools. That creates a grade sixth-through-eighth model common at middle schools around the state.

The simplest solution? Demolish Albi, rebuild it smaller at its current site, then build a middle school in the leftover space.

It was the city that first had the idea to put the stadium downtown, Romero says. In fall 2017, the city already knew there was a good chance that a sportsplex would be built downtown by the Spokane Arena, Romero says. Adding a “third leg” to the north bank was an idea Mayor David Condon was behind, Romero says.

For Anderson and the district, it was an intoxicating idea. Located downtown, the stadium would be more centrally located for area high schools. It provides more of an opportunity for other uses besides football for the city and the sports commission. And it would allow the city to expand Dwight Merkel Sports Complex, near the current Albi site, while the district could still build a ...continued on next page

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 13

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NEWS | POLITICS “LEAVING IT ON THE FIELD,” CONTINUED... new middle school there. The new stadium, too, Sure, the school board said. If the public could potentially bring in a minor league soccer supports a downtown stadium, then go for it. But team, Condon has said. the Spokane City Council would have to be the The school board was cautious. Board memones to ask voters to approve the extra costs for bers wanted assurances that a downtown stadium parking. wouldn’t bottle traffic and take away parking in In meetings last week, council members said the area. But a parking study and a traffic study it put them in an awkward position. Until that commissioned by the district satisfied those point, the City Council had not been involved in concerns. And an analysis showed that building a the stadium project at all. new downtown stadium would cost roughly the Now, Councilwoman Karen Stratton said, same as demolishing and rebuilding Albi. “we’re the bad guys.”

However, the proposal presented to the school board also included a new parking garage by the stadium. And that would cost $10 Five days before the deadline to put the advisory million, an added cost of building a stadium vote on the ballot, Romero thought the stadium downtown instead of where Albi is now. The advisory vote may not have enough support. district couldn’t stomach asking school bond votThat, he thought, would have been “a big misers to spend extra money for a parking garage, take.” They were on the 5-yard line, he says, but says school board President Sue Chapin. The couldn’t break through to the end zone. downtown stadium — just a Romero, Anderson and Stephatiny part of a $495 million nie Curran, who heads the Spokane LETTERS bond request for new schools Public Facilities District, presented Send comments to — could have taken down the the City Council with an option to editor@inlander.com. entire bond. send an advisory vote on the ballot, It’s a risk the school one that had no money attached to it. board wouldn’t take. In a July meeting, the That $10 million the school board was worried school board decided to put the cost of a garage about? Romero told City Council that could be on the city’s side of a joint bond request. It effecfigured out later. tively separated the downtown stadium idea from City Council President Ben Stuckart didn’t the rest of the bond package. want public dollars going toward a parking “The school board is fine with the stadium garage. In the days before council was to vote in either location,” Chapin says. “As long as it’s whether to put out an advisory vote, even he doing what the public wants.” didn’t know what he was going to do.

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CHANGING THE CONVERSATION

He struggled with the fact that the council was being asked to send an advisory vote for a new stadium when the school district’s bond contained the money to pay for it. He was uncomfortable with private interests like hotel owners trying to influence a public decision.

And he was frustrated that nobody in the city consulted the council on the downtown stadium before tossing the decision to them in the last couple of weeks.

“The council is the one that decides,” Stuckart says. “Why is the mayor just assuming we’re gonna be OK with that?”

On Monday, council members still seemed perplexed as to why they, and not the school board, had to be the ones voting to put an advisory vote on the ballot.

“This is not our issue. This is a school board issue,” says Councilwoman Kate Burke.

Burke, however, ended up as the lone “no” vote on Monday.

She adamantly opposes any public money going toward a parking garage, even if no money is attached to the advisory vote on the ballot. While Romero, Anderson and Curran all say they can figure out the parking without going to voters with a $10 million request, nobody is clear yet on what that looks like.

“What’s confusing is people don’t understand what they’re choosing,” Burke says.

But Stuckart voted “yes,” while vowing to fight against any public dollars going to a parking garage or anything different.

Ultimately, Stuckart supported the advisory vote because he says he wants the conversation to get back to investments in schools and libraries. In his mind, the public focusing on the stadium instead of the other positive aspects of the partnership was the “worst case scenario” coming to fruition.

Letting the voters decide means he doesn’t have to talk about the stadium anymore.

“I’m done with this conversation about where the stadium is after we put this on,” Stuckart says. n wilsonc@inlander.com

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Lost Evidence Blame the Russians?

T

he vehicular homicide and assault charges against a man once accused of running over two people, killing one, has crumbled in Okanogan County.

Due to an egregious MISHANDLING OF EVIDENCE by law enforcement and their failure to notify the defense attorney, the charges against James Faire, 58, were dismissed “with prejudice” by Okanogan County Superior Court Judge Christopher Culp last month. Charges cannot be refiled, but Okanogan County Prosecutor Branden Platter has indicated he intends to appeal the dismissal.

Judge Culp determined that he had no choice but to scrap the entire case after law enforcement withheld the fact that crucial evidence — cell phone data from one of the victims — had been corrupted by ransomware, “perhaps of a Russian origin,” on Detective Kreg Sloan’s computer, according to court records.

Documents show that Sloan knew the cell phone data was no good as early as August 2015, but did not tell the defense, or even the prosecutor, for another 32 months. Additionally, by the time Sloan discovered the corrupt phone data, he had already returned the cell phone to its owner, George Abrantes, the only living victim. Debra Long, 51, was killed when Faire ran over her twice with his pickup truck, according to news reports.

Faire, who has ties to militia and anti-government groups, and his attorney, Stephen Pidgeon, believe that the cell phone contained text messages and a video that would have supported Faire’s claim of self-defense. Pidgeon says Abrantes attacked Faire with a heavy chain while Long stood in the way of his truck, preventing him from escaping.

Culp’s dismissal order indicates that Sloan made no attempt to extract Abrantes’ cell phone data a second time and could offer no explanation as to why. By the time Faire’s defense attorney learned of the missing evidence, Abrantes had deleted the data off his phone, court records show.

“The combined effect and consequences of the state’s actions prevent the defendant from having a fair trial,” Culp writes in his dismissal order, continuing: “There can be no excuse for the [32] month delay … before law enforcement notified the prosecutor of the lost evidence.” (MITCH RYALS)

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Gov. Jay Inslee picked two local women to serve on the newly created Women’s Commision. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

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16 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

Two Spokane women have been named by Gov. Jay Inslee to the newly created nine-member WOMEN’S COMMISSION: Regina Malveaux, Spokane YWCA CEO, and Monica Holland, Spokane managing attorney for the Unemployment Law Project, a statewide not-for-profit law firm.

They’ll be the only members east of the Cascades to serve on

the state commission, which was created by the Legislature this year, months after the #MeToo movement brought new national focus and attention to sexual misconduct and women’s issues.

The commission will “address issues relevant to the problems and needs of women, such as domestic violence, childcare and support, sexual discrimination and harassment in the workplace, equal compensation and job pathways in employment, and the specific needs of women of color,” according to the Governor’s Office, which oversees the commission.

In addition, they’ll help prepare a celebration in 2020 for the 100-year anniversary of national women’s suffrage. In Washington territory, women actually had the right to vote for a few years in the 1880s before court rulings overturned it, and then Washington state officially gave women the right in the state constitution in 1910. (SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL)

Rep. Matt Shea now supports Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

OK WITH SHEA

Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers has been very vocal about distancing herself from the alt-right. But lately, she’s been attempting to align herself with a different part of the GOP fringe — the patriot movement — as she gets ready to face her first truly competitive election.

In the last two elections, the very conservative Rep. Matt Shea refused to endorse McMorris Rodgers.

“I can tell you Cathy McMorris Rogers [sic] has supported bills like the Energy and Infrastructure Act antithetical to Constitutional Conservatism and endorsed against and/or opposed every good conservative in this area,” Shea wrote on his website.

But now, Shea has changed his tune — and his website.

Now Shea’s endorsement, in which he spells the Congresswoman’s name “CATHY McCMORRIS ROGERS,” argues that she has been an asset.

“The Democrat plan is Trump impeachment and chaos,” Shea wrote on his website. “Lisa Brown is a committed socialist arguing for more government, higher taxes, and less freedom. Cathy reached out to me this year and was very helpful in the pardon of the Hammonds and other veterans issues.”

Last month, Trump pardoned Dwight Hammond Jr. and Steven Hammond, two ranchers, who had been sentenced to the minimum five years for arson on public lands, after the federal government successfully appealed a lighter sentence. The Hammond case inspired the occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in 2016. Shea was such a supporter of the action he drove to Oregon, intending to speak with the local sheriff to convince him to support the occupation.

McMorris Rodgers told the Spokesman-Review she had spoken with Vice President Mike Pence about the Hammond’s pardon before she learned she had received Shea’s endorsement.

Neither Shea nor McMorris Rodgers’ staff returned the Inlander’s phone call by press time. But last week, Shea received a speaking part at McMorris Rodgers’ Pro-Life Unity Rally and in the Spokesman-Review, she did not dismiss out-of-hand Shea’s proposal to make Eastern Washington its own state. (DANIEL WALTERS) n

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 17

NEWS | DIGEST

ON INLANDER.COM

THE PURGE A number of SPOKANE POLICE body camera videos showing officers’ uses of force in 2016 have been purged from the department’s cloud storage system, and now they’re gone for good. The SPD was alerted to the missing footage when ombudsman Commissioner James Wilburn decided to dig into police use of force against African Americans. The department has since recategorized body camera footage associated with internal affairs cases, such as uses of force, complaints, pursuits and collisions, which are supposed to be kept for six years. Footage of homicides and officer-involved shootings are kept for 20 years. (MITCH RYALS)

FEATURING NATIONAL NEWS FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

LABELING “LABEL-LYNCHING” As the anger poured out last week about Spokane GOP Chair Cecily Wright’s decision to host former Washington State University College Republicans President James Allsup at a conservative meeting, the aggravation focused on not just her giving a white supremacist a platform, but on her claim that Allsup had been “LABEL-LYNCHED.” Considering the history of lynching, many found the claim insulting.

But Wright (pictured) didn’t invent the phrase: It was originally coined by Mark Herr, the president of the Tennessee-based Center for Self-Governance and the producer of a documentary centering on LaVoy Finicum, the single fatality of the 2016 armed standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. He was falsely labeled by some media outlets as a “sovereign citizen,” and Herr argued that sort of mislabeling can put people’s lives at risk. (DANIEL WALTERS)

DOGS > KIDS? The Spokane Public Schools Board of Directors approved a $495 million bond request that will go to voters in November. The money would pay for three new middle schools and for modernizations or replacements of other schools. One of those schools, however, would be built by Mullan Elementary, over a piece of land that’s served as a beloved unofficial DOG PARK on the South Hill. “Some of us do not have children, at least not human children,” said speaker Glenn Ritter. “We have four-legged children. And I gotta tell you, that park is a jewel.” The district says it’s likely that the dog park will be eliminated, but it assured residents that it’ll find a new location for a South Hill dog park. (WILSON CRISCIONE)

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OZZIE KNEW Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich, who has long clashed with the libertarian Northwest Grassroots group, says he was tipped off that white supremacist James Allsup was coming to the Grassroots event.

“I was given a PHONE CALL and told that he was going to be speaking at Northwest Grassroots,” Knezovich says. “I said, this is a very, very bad idea.

This is not going to go well. He does not represent any of our values.”

But Knezovich says he didn’t feel like he had a way to stop it, considering how much the group disliked him. And when it all blew up and the backlash started coming in, Knezovich says he demanded the resignation of Cecily Wright, the Spokane GOP chair who had hosted Allsup at the event.

“It got tenuous last night,” Knezovich said the morning after her resignation. “I went, ‘Either she resigns or she will see the biggest campaign I can mount to get rid of her.’” (DANIEL WALTERS)

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AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 19

NEWS | ANTHROPOLOGY

Bones Tell the Story Guy Tasa brings new life to old bones, treading between culture, history and science

BY MITCH RYALS

I

n a windowless lab in Olympia, Washington state’s physical anthropologist, Guy Tasa, is surrounded by old bones. A major part of his job within the Department of Archaeology and Historical Preservation is to analyze skeletal remains not related to any active death investigation.

Tasa says his office gets a new case about every four or five business days, a total of about 50 to 60 cases per year. Last year, that included a single, tan colored skull that had been turned over to the Spokane County Medical Examiner’s Office.

Generally, once a medical examiner or coroner determines the remains are not related to a death investigation, Tasa takes over.

In the case of this particular skull, Tasa uses only measurements of the skull’s dimensions and facial features to determine that it belonged to a woman, who would have been between 40 and 50 years old at the time she died. Those measurements also indicated that she was Native American, which touched off a notification to tribes in the area.

“These features are subtle and require years of experience in seeing and evaluating a variety of skeletal remains,” says Tasa, whose analysis does not include any tests that would destroy pieces of the bones, such as carbon dating or DNA analysis.

Ultimately, the Spokane Tribe of Indians retrieved the skull and reburied it in a private ceremony. Even the tribal chairwoman, Carol Evans, isn’t privy to the skull’s reburial location.

“The return of remains to the tribe is a sacred event,” Evans says. “These are the remains of our ancestors that have been disturbed, so we need to take care of that and do so in a respectful manner. We even hide them from ourselves, in a sense.”

The process of repatriating tribal remains is spelled out in Washington state law and is one indicator of a shift in deference to tribal customs over scientific research in the past decade.

“Washington state has some of the strongest cultural resource laws in the nation,” says Allyson Brooks, the state Historic Preservation Officer. “The state has always taken a different tone between archaeology and tribes than other parts of the United States.”

Specifically, Brooks points to one highly publicized legal battle between a group of scientists and five Native American tribes over rights to one of the oldest, nearly complete skeletons found in North America, known as the Ancient One, or Kennewick Man.

I

n 1996, two college students spotted a skull on the banks of the Columbia River near Kennewick, Washington. They turned the skull over to officials, who soon unearthed a nearly complete skeleton, some 350

20 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

Guy Tasa has handled at least 486 cases as Washington’s resident bone expert. pieces. Researchers soon learned the bones were about 8,500 years old.

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, which manages the land where Kennewick Man’s bones were found, initially intended to repatriate the remains to a tribal nation that sought to rebury them. Under the federal Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, tribes with a proven connection to certain remains and artifacts are entitled to have them returned.

But then a group of scientists stepped in and filed a lawsuit to stop the reburial. They saw the bones as a potential gold mine of information about how early humans came to North America and how they lived. Thus began a legal dispute that pitted scientific research against respect for tribal traditions.

Based in part on the size and shape of Kennewick Man’s skull, an early analysis, similar to the one Tasa performs today, suggested the man was related to the Ainu, a group of people from northern Japan.

By 2005, federal judges ruled that the tribes showed no evidence of a connection to the bones, and a team of scientists led by Douglas Owsley, a forensic anthropologist with the Smithsonian Institution, was clear to begin gathering data. They eventually published a 670-page book.

But in 2015, scientists revealed that Kennewick Man’s DNA was in fact “closer to modern Native Ameri-

In 2016, the legal battle over two skeletons discovered in the San Diego community of La Jolla by University of California students in 1976 finally ended in a victory for tribal nations. A molecular anthropologist at Washington State University, Brian Kemp, who filed a brief with the U.S. Supreme Court supporting the scientific study of the remains, lamented the lost opportunities to learn more about ancient North America.

“Ancient human remains like the La Jolla remains are an indispensable component to comprehending human history because they provide the most direct and intimate access to our ancestors,” Kemp argues in court documents. “Without scientific studies of ancient humans and human ancestors, we would have a very limited understanding of how we came to be who we are as a people.”

S

ince Tasa’s position as Washington’s resident bone expert was created in 2008, he has handled at least 486 cases, according to a report submitted to the state Legislature last year.

In each case, Tasa uses calipers to measure the skeletal remains and determine whether they’re likely ancestors of Native Americans. For this work, skulls are particularly revealing. Specifically, Tasa says, higher cheekbones that project forward are strong indications that the remains are Native American. Other features, such as the size and shape of the eyes and nose, also factor in.

He then enters the numbers into a database to help him make a determination. Tasa can also consider the context in which the remains are found, such as the location and whether any artifacts are found nearby. About 80 percent of the remains he analyzes belong to Native Americans, he says.

For the tribes who take back the remains of their ancestors, the process is emotional.

“It’s a way of respecting someone’s right to know their loved one is in a special place,” Evans, the Spokane Tribe chairwoman says. “If you lose a mother, and you bury them in cemetary and your neighbor digs them up and displays them in their house next door, how would you feel?” n mitchr@inlander.com

“The state has always taken a different tone between archaeology and tribes than other parts of the United States.” cans than to any other population worldwide.”

In 2017, with help from the Washington State Department of Archaeology and Historic Preservation, Kennewick Man’s bones were returned to the tribes and reburied in an undisclosed location.

Throughout and since the Kennewick Man legal fight, scientists and tribal nations have butted heads over ancient remains in the West. The bones of an infant boy found on private land in Montana in 1968 were only reburied in 2014, after scientists had sequenced his entire genome.

PHOTO COURTESY OF GUY TASA

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AUGUST AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 21

Don’t Sauté Your Laptop (AND OTHER HOME COOKING TRICKS)

22 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

The mistakes, high stakes and burnt steaks of teaching yourself how to cook

BY DANIEL WALTERS

Years of cooking experience had given me a sixth sense about these things: The smell of melting plastic usually means something has gone wrong.

My intention, let it be known, was noble: I merely wanted to cook some beef stroganoff.

Like any great chef, I watch TV shows on my computer while cooking, but in my tiny Browne’s Addition kitchen, I have to use every inch of available space. So it wasn’t entirely irrational, for the record, to place my laptop on the stove burner while watching FOX’s hit sci-fi drama The Orville.

Ultimately, my only real error was one of timing. Moments earlier, I had been using precisely the same burner to boil a pound of egg noodles.

An explosion rocks the spaceship on The Orville, and a second later my laptop screen suddenly goes black. For a moment, I think the TV show had made a bold, artistic choice. But this is a Seth MacFarlane TV show we’re talking about. It has to be something else.

That’s when I register the burnt-plastic smell. That’s when the notion that I’d grilled a $1,000 computer and stir-fried a halfterabyte of irreplaceable data begins to sink in.

Just to be sure, I touch-test the bottom of the laptop. It burns my fingers. It’s my first time cooking a laptop, but I believe that means it’s done.

Like all great hobbies, cooking is a high-risk, highreward endeavor. If you succeed, you’ve managed to give yourself enough nourishment to live another day. If you fail, you can burn down your house and poison your friends and family.

And I’ve tasted failure. I’ve seen things. Terrible things.

I’ve seen pasta arrabiata overcooked into pasta miserabile.

I’ve seen fine New York strip steaks charred into leather jackets that taste like road rash. I’ve seen defeat snatched from the jaws of victory — and, even more crushingly, from the jaws of myself. A freshly homemade gourmet hamburger teeters off my countertop and lands, hamburger side down, on the linoleum.

Yet the more I cook, the more I’ve not only learned to stomach failure, I’ve actually developed an appetite for it.

‘DANGER TO HIMSELF’

Eight years ago, when I decided I would learn how to cook, I was well aware that it could all end in tragedy. In everything I’ve ever tried, I’ve been embarrassingly terrible at first. Long division. Origami. Kissing.

I’m a slow learner. I’m absent-minded. My physi-

cal coordination can be placed somewhere on the scale between “Jerry Lewis” and “danger to himself and others.”

I make typos. And when you cook, it turns out, you can taste your typos.

But I knew I had to learn anyway. Man cannot live on Pasta Roni alone. Cooking is freedom. Cooking is power.

Cooking means never having to pick out all the peas in any of your dishes again.

But ultimately, my primary motivation for wanting to learn how to become a great cook was because I wanted to, someday, be a great husband. As a journalist, I’m never going to be much of a breadwinner. But bread baker? That’s feasible.

First I’d have to find someone to marry. But maybe cooking could help with that too, I thought, if I got good enough at it. Ah, but that was the catch.

It’s 2011. I’m 25. An attractive woman is going to be visiting my apartment for the first time. Maybe this is a date! Maybe she likes me! What better way to impress her than by serving ice cream JESSIE HYNES ILLUSTRATION slathered in hot, homemade chocolate sauce?

At one moment, the sauce is approaching the slightest simmer. Maybe we’ll kiss? I’ve gotten slightly better at that! And then: a plume of bubbling sauce shoots up from the saucepan like some sort of rampaging chocolate swamp thing, spilling over, sliding down into the burner well and lighting ablaze.

I grab the saucepan, molten chocolate scalding my hand, and dump the mixture into a second, larger pot. I’m left with a puddle of slag and sludge with hints of chocolate and vanilla, with the base flavor of burnt campfire log.

I feed it to my guest anyway. Maybe my sheer animal charisma is enough to compensate?

It isn’t.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Daniel Walters, born and raised in Spokane, has been writing for the Inlander since 2008. In that time, he’s exposed a fraudulent Blu-Ray company, ambulance-chasing car-accident attorneys, dishonest public officials and scam-artist developers.

He’s taught himself how to make a Banzai Burger, but it’s still not as good as the one at Red Robin.

He can be reached at 325-0634 ext. 263 or at danielw@inlander.com.

FAMILY DINNER

Still, I knew I had the power for great gourmet cooking somewhere within me. Dad first fell in love with Mom, the legend goes, when she was a cook in the fly-strip-festooned kitchen of Camp Reed. She was the daughter of a home-ec teacher. She became a professional dietician.

We almost never went out to eat, because why would we? Anything they could make, she could make better. Enchiladas. Sesame stir fry. Sweet and sour chicken. Rhubarb crisp.

The problem is that I’m also my father’s son.

I was 3 when he decided to make waffles. It shouldn’t be ...continued on next page

 Clockwise, from top left: Spicy harissa; salsa verde (which can’t be made with Brussels sprouts); lime shirmp and veggie bake; South American steak; tomato and roasted red pepper soup; red lentil soup; Szechwan shrimp; and Yakisoba noodles. DANIEL WALTERS PHOTOS

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 23

COOKING “DON’T SAUTÉ YOUR LAPTOP,” CONTINUED... too hard, he thought. There were instructions. He was a science teacher. And what is cooking but a chemistry lab exercise that you can eat?

Dad worked methodically. He gauged the concave meniscus of the milk in the measuring cup at eye level, to make sure his measurements were precise to the closest angstrom.

But he didn’t know what he didn’t know: that baking soda and baking powder were two very different things.

Nearly three decades later the bitter aftertaste still lingers in Dad’s memory. He doesn’t cook much anymore.

Two parents, two paths, two potential destinies: deliciousness or disaster.

I chose both.

TRAINING MONTAGE

Fortunately, what I lacked in talent, I could brute-force through with persistence. It’s the old saying: Practice makes perfect penne primavera pasta.

So practice I did. There was sweat. (My tiny kitchen doesn’t have air-conditioning.) There were tears (from cutting onions). And there was blood (from cutting fingers when cutting onions). But I didn’t give up.

I gained weight as my cooking hobby outpaced my exercise hobby. But I was gaining knowledge, too.

I learned that you’re not supposed to lob your steak into smoking oil from 3 feet away like you’re lawn bowling.

I learned that you can upgrade any recipe that calls for garlic by crossing out “cloves of” and writing in “heads of.” I learned that fresh herbs often cost at least as much as an entire Chalupa Cravings box at Taco Bell.

I learned first-hand that Brussels sprouts, despite

Homemade harissa and ras el hanout spices make this eggplant dish; cooking five minutes too long ruins it. DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO being round and green, are not tomatillos, and that you can’t use the pound and a half you accidentally bought from the grocery store to make salsa verde. And I learned that hominy is not the same as corn — and if you dump hominy in your chile, you will spend a half an hour wristdeep in kidney beans picking out every gritty kernel one by one.

Slowly, I’ve improved. I’ve become more ambitious.

I stopped rejecting recipes because they looked too hard and started rejecting them because they looked too boring. I bought a photography light so I could make my food look impressive, even if it didn’t taste that way.

And when all else failed, I still had tenacity.

When I wanted to make a Moroccan eggplant dish, I didn’t let the fact that I’d never cooked or eaten eggplant — or even used the emoji — stop me. None of the stores in

Spokane carried the “ras el hanout” spice blend the recipe demanded, but I didn’t give up.

I ordered the spices on Amazon. When Amazon instead mistakenly sent me a tiny packet of cabinet screws — which didn’t quite have the same savory je ne sais quoi I needed — I still didn’t give up. I made my own ras el hanout blend, like they had to do back in the Bible times.

I dredged the eggplant, roasted it nearly to perfection, and I could have stopped there. But I didn’t give up. I put the eggplant back in oven, roasted the eggplant five minutes more, and utterly ruined it. Each piece tasted like mushy sponges soaked in Moroccan dishwater.

Nevertheless, I persisted. Sitting alone in my apartment, I grimly shoveled soggy bite after soggy bite into my mouth. “No dessert, Daniel,” I told myself, “until you finish your eggplant.”

Almost anything is edible if you’re hungry enough.

The beauty of cooking is in its grace and forgiveness.

Most recipes have margins of error. Even if I’m going for caramelized onions, I’m happy to settle for charred.

Even a hamburger on the linoleum can be saved, as long as your hunger outstrips your dignity and as long as you never tell anyone.

And it’s the mistakes that teach you how to innovate.

Yes, I admit it. I once dumped one-fourth of a cup of parsley flakes when the crab-stuffed salmon recipe only called for a teaspoon. But one spice can counter another.

A bit of paprika, and — bam! — I’d masked my mishap.

Sure, a good cook follows directions to the letter. But a good chef knows how to resurrect a recipe from ruin when they don’t.

DAD’S SPAGHETTI

In the long run, the screw-ups are often more valuable than the triumphs. Mom’s made thousands of meals that

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could have been on the cover of Cooking Light.

But our family still remembers Dad’s spaghetti. It should have been easy. Brown the meat. Add Ragù. Boil noodles. Simmer.

Simple. The resulting explosion coated the kitchen in tomato sauce.

We can still picture the splatter pattern on the ceiling. We laugh about it. It becomes part of our family mythology, one of the stories we recall around the dinner table while eating Mom’s delicious meals.

So, yes, my family enjoyed the fantastic chocolate no-bake cookies I brought to Christmas Eve last year. But those were gobbled up, flushed away and forgotten. What they truly remember is the Christmas Eve five years earlier, when my no-bakes congealed together into a horrifying blob, an abomination of matter — neither fully liquid nor fully solid, neither alive nor truly dead.

“Perfect” is just a synonym for “insufferable.” Genius is isolating. Excellence inspires admiration, sure, but also jealousy.

But when we serve up our foibles and flaws, we’re drawn together in our shared humanity.

None of my friends really want to hear me tell them a long story about how I nailed the subtleties of Haitian pork griot and coconut pilaf or how delicious the avocado-poblano-chorizo-huevo-potato tacos I cooked up last month were.

They want to hear about the time I grilled my laptop. After all, we post our most successful culinary masterpieces on Instagram. But we tell our most entertaining stories on our biggest cooking disasters. Literally, in this case.

I acted quickly, snatching up my melting laptop and throwing it into the refrigerator. Once it had cooled, I hit the power button, held my breath and prayed like hell.

Like the heroic crew of the Orville, my laptop — the laptop I’m using to type this essay — survived its trial by fire.

Yes, the surface had been seared. But the inside had remained medium-rare. Exactly how I like it. n

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Cochinito Taqueria Way back when, as a very young cook working brunch at a big busy hotel, I very nearly caught the brunch room on fire. I was working the live fire omelet station, and my friend, and at the time partner in mischief, was working the crepe station next to me. On the crepe station, the cook would hit the hot pan with a little bit of orange brandy to get the “oohhs” and “ahhs” from the line of people waiting. I looked over during a lull in the rush and noticed that my buddy was way too preoccupied flirting with the two girls at the front of the line and had left a pan to get white hot over an open butane flame. I saw the opportunity to scare the crap out of him and pounced on it immediately. I casually reached over and poured a steady stream of that high proof brandy right into that scorching hot pan. In my imagination this would end in a good size, yet manageable, flame shooting up, scaring and embarrassing my pal in front of his lady friends and flaming out before anyone else was the wiser.

What I got was a good 2-foot-tall ball of fire somehow shooting sideways out of the pan directly at a plastic tree that was probably covered in 10 years of built-up brunch grease. That tree went up like a gas-soaked rag, and so did the tablecloth and skirting that was now lightly soaked in cheap orange-flavored hootch.

The lead brunch cook sprung into action to save the day and did the worst thing he could possibly do — he tossed a bucket of bleach water on the pyre, creating a much bigger fireball that

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now ignited the ceiling tiles above the station. By the grace of God, our sous chef was closest to the fire extinguisher and managed to blast my little inferno out before any serious damage happened.

With only a brief interruption, we threw away the food that was exposed to fire suppressant, wheeled out the blackened tree, wiped down and restocked our stations. Somehow I was not fired. Honestly, they probably had eight better reasons to fire me at the time anyway.

Jeremy Hansen tells the story of “egg beer.”

JEREMY LEONARD HANSEN

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Inland Pacific Kitchen, Santé Restaurant, Hogwash Whiskey Den, Biscuit Wizard, 509Cooks I remember a story way back when I worked at the Onion on the north side in 1999, roughly.

This isn’t a mishap, but more mischievous. I was young, uninformed, uneducated and simply a didn’t-give-a-shit-about-food kind of cook. In fact, I was a young punk with better things to do, like drink alcohol and other destructive activities.

Anyway, this one day I was eager to finish work. Trying to leave and being made to do extra work or something I forgot, I became devilish and decided to bread the paper towels I rinsed my hands off with into cod chips. After I finished, I grabbed a 5-gallon bucket of beer from the walk-in that was being used for beer-battered onion rings. I took off to a party… “Free beer!” I called out to the 30 people in the driveway. “Dip your cups and drink up,” I said. Getting to the bottom of the bucket, the beer started getting milky.

“Oh shiiiit, that’s a flat of eggs at the bottom!” “WHO BROUGHT THE BUCKET OF BEER!?”

Thus I invented “egg beer.” Oops! Meanwhile, in the middle of service at the Onion, some unsuspecting guest dipped his fried cod chip into some house-made tartar sauce and beheld my paper towel in his mouth. I didn’t get fired, but I should have. Punk kids.

JOHN D. LEONETTI

Prohibition Gastropub Probably my most notable “mishap” happened last year when I was prepping for a 200-plus person catering event with Lydig Construction. It was a VIP event for their customers, inclusive of special cocktails, cigars and a specialty food menu. About 10 am, I got a call from my wife [Jill]. She sounded upset and said, “We’re having the baby today. They are taking me to labor and delivery now.”

The baby was five weeks early and she was clearly very upset about the situation. I frantically asked if I should close the restaurant for the day and send my staff to the event. My wife told me to do the event, and that she would do her best to “wait.”

I frantically prepped the rest of the catering, called in extra help and managed not to forget anything critical for the event. It went off without a hitch. As soon as all was set up and things seemed to be running smoothly, I bolted to the hospital. I ended up making it there around 8:30 that night and I helped deliver my son, Henryk, at 9:20 the next morning.

ADAM HEGSTED

Wandering Table, Yards Bruncheon, Honey Eatery & Social, Gilded Unicorn, Incrediburger & Eggs and more A very long time ago at a restaurant I used to work at, we once did a large expensive wedding and there was a miscommunication about the wedding cake. We believed that [the family] was getting it from somewhere, and they believed we had it. At the end of dinner, we were in the kitchen celebrating the success of the night. Then, the bride’s mother came back to the kitchen to ask for the cake. The general manager looked at her and said that it would be right out. We had a few seconds of full body Adam Hegsted has a “full puckering and then I got to work. This body puckering” story. was at 10 at night as well, so no chance of buying anything of high quality quickly. We had the dishwasher go buy six cakes of different sizes at Safeway while I whipped frosting and made a filling. I quickly layered the cakes, frosted and sent them out. Thank god they teach some cake decorating skills in culinary school. The bride’s mother called us up to the stage while crying. Then she told us that it was better than she could have imagined… us too!

DAVE HILL

Hills’ Restaurant & Lounge I was a young cook at the Meridien Hotel in Houston, Texas. For a big New Year’s Party, we were making a 100-egg sabayon for the dessert course. The executive chef was adding the all-important sugar to the egg yolks and Madeira, finishing cooking until stiff peaks formed. Perfect! About eight cooks were standing around waiting for it to all dip in spoons and taste at the same time. Argh, it was salt. We started over. n

Compiled by Food Editor Chey Scott, who lightly edited the chefs' responses for clarity and length.

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 27

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Exclusive food news & a calendar of culinary events Delivered to your inbox every Thursday Subscribe at: inlander.com/newsletter

28 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

Staff writer Daniel Walters’ chicken thighs spiced with ras el hanout. DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO

Write and Wrong Turns out, Inlander staffers are writers — and not cooks — for a reason FLOUR POWER

I’m something of a lazy cook. Any corners I can cut, any pre-packaged products I can use, I’m into it. And when it comes to pasta, I’m one of those “just buy a jar of whatever sauce is on sale” kinda guys. But one night when I was going to make fettuccine alfredo, I decided I’d make my own alfredo. I was going full Barefoot Contessa on this one. I simmered the cream and mixed in the grated parmesan, but the sauce wasn’t thick enough, so naturally I googled “how do I thicken sauce?”

Flour is the answer, says the internet. Easy enough.

All of our dry goods are in glass canisters on the counter, so I grabbed the flour, mixed it with cold water like I read, and slowly incorporated it into the sauce. It didn’t really work, so I added even more flour, then poured that beautiful, homemade sauce all over the pasta. What I hadn’t accounted for is that flour and powdered sugar, which was also in one of those uniform glass canisters, look almost exactly the same.

My alfredo ended up sickeningly sweet; adding salt only made it all-the-more unpalatable. It all ended up in the garbage. Now all of our canisters are clearly labeled, and I’m back to buying the premade sauce. (NATHAN WEINBENDER)

I ROLL SLOW

My issues in the kitchen revolve around being too careful. Whether chopping, slicing, dicing, sautéing or even shopping, everything takes longer than it should. When a recipe says “30 minutes of prep, 20 minutes of cooking time,” I’m looking at a three-hour process. And on top of that, virtually everything I make happens in a slow cooker because I’m afraid of creating a culinary disaster any faster than I need to. That means I get up early to do my snail-paced version of shopping, chopping, slicing, dicing and sautéing, and then throw all the stuff in a pot for like 10 hours before I eat it.

Fortunately, most things turn out at least edible, if a little soft and bland. Unfortunately, I’ll never be the person who gets home from work and whips up a delicious meal for my family in 20 minutes.

(DAN NAILEN)

ROUX BLUES

May 9, 2017: While making gumbo, I stirred the roux for over half an hour and it was changing color to a milk chocolate brown

with the aroma becoming nutty. So, I wanted a taste to make sure I wasn’t on the verge of burning it and, without thinking, put a wooden spoon of molten-lava hot roux onto my lips. Don’t do that. It took about a month for a large blister on my lower lip to completely heal. (YOUNG KWAK)

COOKIE CRISIS

Since I could stand on a chair to reach the counter, I’ve baked Christmas sugar cookies each year from a cherished family recipe.

Before my grandmother passed away in 2006, my siblings and I made them at her house — a full day of mixing, rolling, baking and frosting. After she died, I vowed to carry on the family tradition. Going off a recipe I nearly know by heart, you’d think I’d have most of it down, right? I do now, but in one of those first years baking without Gramma’s careful guidance, I had a major blunder. In my mind, somehow, baking soda and baking powder were interchangeable. (They’re not.) I didn’t realize the mistake until too late, after mixing up a massive batch of dough and baking several sheets of cookies. When I finally sampled the outcome of my efforts, I was surprised to discover the cookies were unusually salty… Did I accidentally overmeasure the salt? Forget a cup or two of sugar? Nope.

I just used baking soda instead of baking powder. I recall starting over, but also trying to salvage the soda-laden cookies I’d already baked with extra frosting, hoping they’d be edible. To no one’s surprise, I’ve not made this mistake again, having learned a hard lesson about reading recipes more carefully. (CHEY SCOTT)

BREAKFAST ALL DAY

My kitchen expertise ranges from cereal to eggs. One time, I poured too much milk on my Honey Nut Cheerios. But it was cool because when the Cheerios were all gone, I just drank the extra milk. This other time, I tried to make an three-egg omelette. About halfway through, I realized that I’d accidently purchased scrambled eggs, instead of the omelette-making kind. (MITCH RYALS)

COCKY CANDY MAKING

While in a high school cooking class my freshman year, I gained plenty of confidence in the kitchen. Dicing onions? No sweat.

Fancy tarts? Ugh, that was like, last week’s assignment. Obviously now a professional, I took an interest in making increasingly complex sweets at home. The king of all sweet skills to master? Candy making.

How about Tootsie Rolls? They (literally) can’t be too hard, right? I carefully measured and poured the sugars and syrups into a pot, stirring and increasing the heat. Once the sticky mess reached what I estimated was the right temperature (who needs a candy thermometer, really) I put it in a glass bowl and let it cool just enough to where I could pick it up and start stretching my homemade taffy. Thing is, I couldn’t pick it up. I could barely pull my hands out of the bowl, chocolate sticking to every surface of my skin.

Yuck. Better put on some rubber gloves. That’ll make it easier, right? Wrong. After just a few seconds, the rapidly cooling molten sugar clung to the gloves so strongly I had to yank my hands out of them before I could become the next hilarious story for my friend’s mom, an ER nurse. What was left was a bowl of hardened chocolate glass, which my brother and I dutifully chipped away at over the next week — we weren’t about to let a little latex flavor now and then convince us to waste all that sweet, sweet sugar. (SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL) n

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THEATER

INFORMED CHOICES

Brook Bassett (right) directs a scene featuring (left to right) Teagan Daniels, Becca McLachlan and Elisabeth Edmonds.

Six local girls choose to spend summer on social issues in preparation of Girl, Awake!

BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

T

eagan Daniels is incredulous that people actually live on $2 a day or less.

Two dollars a day, says the vivacious soonto-be ninth grader, is the global poverty rate, something she’s learned in preparation for her role in Girl, Awake!, a play designed to educate audiences about an array of social issues.

Daniels, who plays Azalea, and the other five cast members, ranging in age from 11 to 15, are forsaking traditional summer pastimes to immerse themselves in topics like poverty, child abuse, water scarcity, bullying and child marriage. Through August, the girls will learn about global issues to help learn their scenes — monologues, spoken word pieces, songs, dances, ensemble scenes — which they’ll perform throughout the Inland Northwest starting in October.

This will be the fourth edition of Girl, Awake!, all of them written by Brook A. Bassett. Bassett describes it as “a show for everyone about making a difference.” She penned the production after participating in The Vagina Monologues in 2014 at North Idaho College. Although

she’d been involved in theater since high school, it was her first exposure to social activism, she says.

Every scene, 10 in all for this year’s production, carries a strong message that’s sure to be eye-opening for audiences, much as the “poverty scene” was for Daniels.

“I’m poor,” says the character of Lantana, who this year is played by Kimberly Hunt. “I like to pretend like it is a secret but I’m pretty sure it isn’t. You can’t show off things you don’t have. And you can’t truly be popular without money to buy things. Some people just seem to have everything and others just don’t.”

Lantana holds a flower, which she’ll give to an audience member as the scene transitions to the ensemble.

Flowers, explains Bassett, who wrote the play in 2014, can symbolize a lot: strength, femininity, growth, yet also the dissemination of ideas like seeds.

The first year of Girl, Awake! opened on Oct. 11 — the International Day of the Girl — in 2015, and raised money for UNICEF. Every season, cast members choose a charity and then donate 60 percent of the proceeds from Girl, Awake! shows to them.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

This year’s charity is International Rescue Committee, whose mission is to “help people whose lives and livelihoods are shattered by conflict and disaster to survive, recover and gain control of their future,” including immigrant children isolated from their parents.

D

aniels was shocked to see images of daily life in refugee camps, which Bassett presented to cast members prior to learning the scene. “Now I really see it,” she exclaims.

The play is, above all, educational. Currently pursuing her master’s degree in teaching, Bassett provides relevant statistics and facts as spoken dialogue in the play.

She also includes downloadable video playlists and Common Core-aligned materials on the Girl, Awake! website.

In the refugee scene, for example, Gardenia (played

by Gracie Messner) clarifies the difference between a refugee and an internally displaced person or asylum seeker. The character explains that “in 2015, 65.3 million people were forced to flee their homes,” half of whom are under 18.

Each scene impacts each girl differently, say the girls.

The “perfect scene” deals with social pressure and body image. In it, the character of Tigridia (Becca McLachlan), a soon-to-be seventh grader, notes that “92 percent of teen girls want to change something about the way they look.” ...continued on next page

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 31

2018 SOLD OUT ª

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CULTURE | THEATER

Thank you!

Becca McLachlan rehearses her role in Girl, Awake!

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“INFORMED CHOICES,” CONTINUED...

On Sunday evening, August 26th, Summit Parkway in Kendall Yards will be transformed to host this incredible outdoor event featuring an elegant picnic, exquisite wine, live entertainment and a very special silent auction. All proceeds will benefit Project Beauty Share®.

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32 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

“Everyone relates to ‘perfect,’” says Hunt, a junior, who in addition to playing Lantana this year was also in last year’s play. Although she enjoys acting a little over-the-top in the scene — many scenes juxtapose humor and silliness against the weight of social issues — Hunt also appreciates how the play enables her to contribute to solutions.

“I want to know I did something” about problems in the world, says Hunt.

Incoming freshman Katie Rode felt the impact of the “bullying scene,” she says. “What people are dealing with at home is a lot different” than what people realize, says Rode.

Elisabeth Edmonds, also entering ninth grade and the other returning cast member, felt the “education scene” keenly — both her parents are teachers — as well as the refugee and child marriage scenes.

In “child marriage,” the character of Lantana explains that “thousands of children as young as 12 have been recently legally married in the U.S. “Idaho has the most married children on a per capita basis.”

“The play is meant to get people thinking and we’re not going to lighten things up,” says Edmonds, who plays Dianthus.

Last year, says Edmonds, her character opened the play. “My job was to wake everyone up.” This year, explains Bassett, the opening scene was restructured to be more modular, so

CDAOpera_Gala_080918_5H_JI.jpg

the girls collectively open the play by building the set through props, action and dialogue.

“There’s no fourth wall in our world,” says Bassett, who is planning on producing Girl, Awake! for five years and hopes to turn it into a nonprofit under the umbrella of her Luminary Initiative Project.

Making sure each scene can stand alone, says Bassett, allows her to trim the production as needed, from its full two hours down to about an hour, depending on the audience, which has included area schools, the Human Rights Education Institute and civic organizations.

Although they’re gearing towards middle to high school ages, says Bassett, they’ll go anywhere and are currently booking dates for the fall. The suggested donation is $300, although Bassett says she has a hard time asking for that from organizations that might benefit from the production.

That includes boys and girls, says Edmonds, as well as adults, who she hopes will take the time to discuss social issues with their kids.

“Once you know, you know,” says Edmonds, of the opportunity to learn about and discuss the social issues presented in Girl, Awake!

“There is power in being awake… power to choose.” n For more information about Girl, Awake!, visit facebook.com/GirlAwakeProject.

CULTURE | DIGEST

Kyle Ryan

THREE HOUR TOUR I made the short drive to Missoula to check out a Pixies show at the year-old Kettlehouse Amphitheater and came away thoroughly impressed with the 4,000-capacity venue tucked in a canyon on the banks of the Big Blackfoot River. Located just a few miles east of town, the venue’s sound was great, its views incredible and its beer-selection top-notch — no surprise given the Kettlehouse craft brewery is about 100 feet from the stage. There’s not a bad seat in the house, either; even the “cheap seats” on the lawn feel close. I highly recommend a jaunt if you need a quick getaway.

Blondie (Sept. 4), Jason Isbell and Josh Ritter (Sept. 8) and Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly (Sept. 23) are among the shows happening before season’s end. Visit logjampresents.com for the full lineup. (DAN NAILEN)

Dumb, Sad Firecrackers

BY BROOKE CARLSON

T

here’s a rhythmic routine I fall into every morning when I wake up, when I have a free moment in class, when there’s a lull in a conversation.

Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, repeat. I am a self-diagnosed social media addict, and it may or may not be ruining my life.

I often find myself in a trance-like state, opening and closing app after app, failing to recognize that I’ve alternated through each platform 10 times in the past hour. As I scroll, I see friends, family, acquaintances, enemies, celebrities, fashion bloggers — all of whom seem to have significantly more interesting lives than I. Self-critical thoughts pop in my brain like dumb, sad firecrackers.

THE BUZZ BIN

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST Some noteworthy new music arrives online and in stores Aug. 10. To wit: EL TEN ELEVEN, Banker’s Hill. Fun fact: this experimental duo did the music for the killer documentary Helvetica. They also play the Bartlett Sept. 15.

NICKI MINAJ, Queen. The Bey-hive will probably have something to say about this album title.

JASON MRAZ, Know. Know what I know? Jason Mraz was one of the most boring concerts I’ve ever seen.

THE MAGPIE SALUTE, High Water I. A bunch of former Black Crowes led by guitarist Rich Robinson delve into blues-rock.

SHOOTER JENNINGS, Shooter. Waylon Jennings’ kid is rooted in country, but his sound is pleasingly expansive on his latest. (DAN NAILEN)

An old friend hangs off a balcony in Greece, perfectly tanned skin juxtaposed against sparkling Kool-Aid-colored water. I wish had the money and time to travel. A high school acquaintance shows off her new body after shedding 45 pounds. I should go to the gym.

A college friend laughs with a group of people clutching red Solo cups. Why wasn’t I at that party?

Once I’ve finally broken the scrolling cycle to move onto something more productive, I’m left feeling foggy and utterly lame.

It’s hard to avoid comparing your life to others.

Being active on a social media platform, where everyone shares their successes and tends to avoid their failures is like every person you’ve ever known bombarding you with “Look at me! Look at this cool thing I did!” all at once.

The obvious solution to my problem would be to take a social media detox, right? Go cold turkey, delete all the apps and exist in the real world for awhile. And yeah, that would be super simple and probably prevent my brain from turning to mush in the near future, but let’s be honest here. I’m too selfish to not show off my own life.

There’s a rush of joy that comes from seeing your followers like and comment on your Instagram photos.

When someone says something sweet about my profile picture on Facebook, I can’t help but grin. I can pretend I’m funny on Twitter, and sometimes, people will believe me. Without Snapchat, my friends would be deprived of all the ugly selfies that I send on a daily basis, and that’s just plain unfair.

So for now, I’ll delete one or two of these apps just to test out the waters, and maybe that’ll keep me a little happier and my brain a little fresher. n

BETTER THAN BREAKING BAD? Breaking Bad was a masterclass in nail-biting suspense, tight plotting, gorgeous cinematography, relentless pacing and riveting acting. And yet, when you pit them directly against each other, I dare say that Better Call Saul — which premiered its fourth season this week — is better. Breaking Bad is an operatic tragedy, full of scheming gods and anguished transformations and drug deals with the devil. Better Call Saul is something much smaller, but much more real: It’s a tragedy about how easy it is, despite our best efforts, to become the caricature our worst critics see us as. Breaking Bad is about monsters. Better Call Saul is about humans. (DANIEL WALTERS.)

LIKE FINE WINE It seemed like I was the only one in the sold-out Knitting Factory show Saturday night who didn’t know every single word on Black Happy’s setlist. With dueling drummers, horns and some kickass guitar solos, these Inland Northwest dudes tore the place up for an hour and a half, and they’d done the same the night before, too. It’s hard to believe they rocked harder in the early ’90s. (QUINN WELSCH)

SNITCHES AND SCIENCE Jailhouse snitches, questionable forensic science and abuses of power by white officials, mostly against black people in a small Mississippi town, are the major themes in the masterfully reported second season of In the Dark, a podcast from American Public Media. Piece by piece, reporter and host Madeleine Baran picks apart the state’s case against Curtis Flowers, a black man who has been tried six (6!) times for a 1996 quadruple murder. Flowers has maintained his innocence from the start and is currently waiting on death row for a decision on his latest appeal, using information uncovered by Baran and her team. After In the Dark’s first Peabody Award-winning season featuring the abduction of 11-year-old Jacob Wetterling, the New Yorker has called the second season possibly the “best podcast of the year.” (MITCH RYALS)

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 33

U O Y L L A T A E N CA

CULTURE | FESTIVAL

Todd Dunfield, executive director of the North Idaho Centennial Trail Foundation.

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Speaking for the Trail

The sixth annual Ales for the Trail fundraiser brings brews and bikes together to support the North Idaho Centennial Trail Foundation

BY BROOKE CARLSON

O

n hot summer days in North Idaho, U.S. Forest Service retiree Maggie Schenk rides her bike to Higgens Point, enjoying every inch of the breathtaking scenery along Lake Coeur d’Alene up close and personal.

Perhaps she’ll stop for a dip in the lake along the way, or decide to cruise back into town for dinner and a movie at Riverstone. With 14 hours of daylight and miles of the Centennial Trail at her feet, the options are endless.

Those who live in the Inland Northwest are probably very familiar with the Centennial Trail, the 61-mile nonmotorized trail stretching from Coeur d’Alene through Spokane. Some may not be familiar, however, with the North Idaho Centennial Trail Foundation (NICTF), a group of trail enthusiasts who care for and advocate for the 23-mile segment in the Gem State.

On Aug. 11, NICTF is hosting the foundation’s sixth annual fundraising event, Ales for the Trail. It features 25 breweries as well as food vendors and live music from local band the Rub. Todd Dunfield, executive director of NICTF, says it’s important to keep the nonprofit’s fundraisers close to the heart of the cause.

“Our party happens in McEuen Park, and we can see the trail as we are listening to live music and eating great barbecue, sampling great beer.

You’re right there, seeing what you’re raising money for,” Dunfield says.

Thirty dollars gets you six tickets to sample 5-oz. pours of your choosing. Extra tasting tickets are $2 each. Some featured brewers include North Idaho Cider, Alaskan Brewing Company and Boise Brewing.

Schenk got involved with NICTF after realizing she used the trail as a citizen all the time. She was in search of a civic organization to volunteer with and NICTF seemed like a perfect fit.

“I use the trail. It’s worth it for me to pay the $35 a year as a citizen to be a member, and to promote it, but it’s also worth it to me to be a part of the leadership and guidance and mainte-

nance of that trail so it keeps going,” Schenk says.

Dunfield compares the foundation to the Lorax, a popular Dr. Seuss character who’s known for speaking for the trees. Instead of trees, they speak for the trail, Dunfield says.

And speak for the trail, they do. The foundation ran into a frightening situation last fall when there was serious talk about reducing the size of a section of the Centennial Trail to make room for development near the Spokane River.

“They wanted to rip up the trail, build houses, and make the trail much skinnier,” Dunfield says. “We’re going, ‘No, no, no, think about people with disabilities. Think about moms with strollers.’”

Foundation members went to the Coeur d’Alene City Council meetings and voiced their concerns as advocates for the trail. Dunfield says they think they’ve stopped them, at least for now.

In addition to fighting for the trail, the foundation contributes money to maintenance projects like sealcoating, the process of applying a protective coating to asphalt to prolong its existence.

The money earned through Ales for the Trail will go towards administrative costs, various maintenance projects or, perhaps, hiring a landscape architect to design new features along the trail.

Dunfield believes there are many reasons why the community should care about the Centennial Trail and the NICTF. “If you go use the trail, you’ll have a healthier heart. No-brainer,” Dunfield says. “But a funny thing I’ve discovered recently, if you live near an active recreational site, and you see people running and biking and pushing strollers, there’s actually a benefit to you, even if you don’t do anything. It just encourages you to do more.” n Ales for the Trail • Sat, Aug. 11 from 2-8 pm • $30 • All ages with accompanying adult • McEuen Park • 420 E. Front Ave., Coeur d’Alene • alesforthetrail.org

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Careful preparation is key for Spokane chef Joseph Morris.

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COOKING

Cook Like a Chef Four Spokane-area food professionals share their secrets for making great food at home

BY CARA STRICKLAND

M

ost of us aren’t chefs, but that doesn’t mean we can’t cook like them. We talked to four local culinary professionals about some of the tips and tricks they’ve picked up along the way to make cooking more delicious, efficient and less stressful.

THINK LIKE A CHEF

Joseph Morris, executive chef at Luna restaurant on Spokane’s South Hill, wants home cooks to know that preparation is key, both mental and physical.

“Tip numero uno is mise en place, which simply means ‘everything in its place.’ Mise en place will make you a faster, more efficient cook,” Morris says. “When your ingredients are prepped and laid out, then you can just cook. You can give your dish focus because you’re able to just concentrate on cooking rather than prepping.”

Morris is also an advocate of seeking out knowledge.

“The more you read and learn, the better off you’ll be. Give yourself an understanding about whatever you are going to undertake,” he says. “If you want to learn how to do something, take the time to research and learn it. It’ll make the cooking and prepping process that much easier.”

36 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

“Cookbooks are great, especially ones meant for the professional kitchen,” Morris adds.

Some of his favorites are from well-known restaurants like the French Laundry, Eleven Madison Park and NoMad. Morris can also often be found watching Chef ’s Table or looking something up on YouTube.

KEEP IT FRESH

For Nicole Frickle, co-owner of the Kitchen Engine culinary supply shop in the Flour Mill, it’s all about refusing to cut corners on fresh ingredients.

“Two things that I never use canned or jarred or bottled are lemon juice and garlic,” she says. “You can’t substitute jarred garlic for fresh. It just has a completely different finish.”

“Lemons are my secret go-to ingredient,” she continues. “They are the best thing to brighten any dish.

You can add less salt. You also use less salad dressing if you use fresh lemon, which is great if you’re trying to cut calories. Most people go to vinegar, but it’s a little heavier.”

Frickle isn’t much for kitchen gadgets with only one purpose, but citrus juicers and garlic presses are excep-

tions for her; plus, she’s also found other ways to use them. These tools are in her kitchen because, with them, it’s nearly as convenient to choose fresh rather than prebatched.

“There is no substitute for fresh herbs, especially cilantro and parsley,” says Frickle.

But what to do with the rest of the bunch, when you’re done with the recipe?

“Any fresh herbs that are left over go into whatever I’m making for dinner, either in a salad or in a rub,” she says.

Truly pressed for time but want to make a dish your own?

“Even if it’s not homemade, add a fresh ingredient,” Frickle advises. “Add fresh parsley to a pasta salad. I always add fresh garlic and sautéed onion even to premade pasta sauce.”

SCRATCH THAT

Celeste Shaw, owner of Chaps restaurant in south Spokane, knows that scratch cooking can be intimidating.

That’s why her top tip, similar to advice from Luna’s Morris, is preparation.

“Organization and planning are number one for me, both for efficiency and safety,” Shaw says. She recommends thoroughly reading through a recipe before beginning to cook or bake, and writing in the margins of your cookbooks.

She also shared with us a few specific tricks that save time and waste.

Hard boiling eggs? “Add baking soda or vinegar to water when boiling eggs for easier shell removal. Both substances permeate the eggshells and help the albumen [egg whites] separate from the shell,” Shaw says.

She’s also a fan of cutting down waste by using the freezer.

“When your spinach or kale is on the verge of going bad and you have more than you’ll be able to use tonight, freeze it in a zip-top freezer bag. Next time you need greens for a cooked application — sauté, soup, omelet, stir fry — just pull them out of the freezer and toss them in.”

For all the bakers out there, she suggests trying this swap: “Consider using cake flour for all purpose flour. Cake flour is a finely milled, delicate flour with a low protein content; it’s usually bleached. When used in cakes, it results in a super tender texture with a fine crumb, and a good rise.”

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KICK UP THE FLAVOR

If you’ve been to any of Mika Maloney’s classes at her West Central bakeshop, A Small Batch (formerly Batch Bakeshop), you know she’s constantly offering tips to boost baking success and the flavor of said baked goods.

Consider this hack Maloney uses for high quality vanilla extract: “Vanilla extract is basically just vanilla beans in alcohol, plus time, so it’s super simple to make from scratch.”

To make your own, start with “spent” vanilla bean pods; pods you’ve already scraped the seeds from and used for another project.

“I like to use vodka for a straightforward extract, but you could also use whiskey or bourbon for a bit warmer extract,” says Maloney. “You can add your vanilla bean pods directly into the bottle, shake and set aside — simple as that — or, you can decant the alcohol into Mason jars or some other smaller containers.”

Either way, you’ll want to give it a good shake at least once a week and let it sit for at least six weeks before using. The more vanilla bean pods, the faster an extract will develop, but even a few give a good start.

Maloney’s next tip won’t come as a surprise for fans of her salted chocolate chip cookies.

“Use more salt! Use better salt! Use different salts for different things!” she says. “I’ve always loved sweet and salty combinations, and salt on and in things helps us actually taste the sweetness more and brings out the flavors.”

She suggests keeping a bowl of coarse salt on your counter that’s big enough for you reach in to grab a handful of. She also likes keeping a nice, big flaky salt handy for finishing things.

“I usually have Maldon sea salt in a little bowl as well, to add pinches on the top of pretty much everything from tomatoes, to meat, to ice cream.” n food@inlander.com

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AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 37

FOOD | COOKING

HOW TO MAKE IT

Here’s what you’ll need to recreate the feast, including items I bought, and cabinet staples*: FOR THE BURGERS 1(ish) pound ground beef 1 yellow onion, divided 1/4 cup ketchup* 2 teaspoons black pepper* 1.5 teaspoon salt* 2 to 3 teaspoon garlic powder* 1/2 teaspoon cumin* Sliced cheddar Sliced tomato Red leaf lettuce Potato buns FOR POTATO SALAD 6 eggs 6 potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch chunks 1/4 to 1/2 cup mayo* 3 to 4 tablespoons brown or dijon mustard 1 tablespoon yellow mustard* 1 tablespoon creamy horseradish* Salt to taste* Pepper to taste* Optional dessert: Popsicles

Barbecue Bargains

You, too, can barbecue on less than $20.

SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL PHOTO

How to throw a summer barbecue for friends on less than $20, from our Bitchin’ Bites on a Budget series

BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL

I

t’s getting to be that hot, uncomfortably sweaty part of summer, when outdoor cooking is the only kind that’s bearable.

So, with only $20 in my pocket and the goal of having a cheap barbecue with some friends, I wanted to see if I could fix a filling feast for four.

Not only did we end up making some delicious potato salad, corn on the cob and cheeseburgers from fresh, hand-formed patties, but with a last minute addition to our group, I managed to feed five people, with plenty of ingredients to spare.

Assuming you have a few condiments on hand in your fridge — ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard — you can comfortably barbecue for five for less than $20. That said, for good measure I even bought some fancy mustard to make sure the list was realistic. It’s doable.

Before getting to the recipes, here are a few quick things I’ve found key for budget shopping:

SHOP THE SALES

All grocery stores offer deals, even those that seem pricier.

Case in point: While picking up a beefsteak tomato, yellow onion and red leaf lettuce on my list at My Fresh Basket in Kendall Yards, I checked prices on other things I knew I’d need and found more than a pound of Painted Hills’ leanest ground beef on discount because it was the “sell by” date. For $4.45, I saved more than 50 cents from what I had expected to spend on similar organic ground beef that’s reliably been $4.99/lb. at Grocery Outlet.

38 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

You could stretch your dollar even further by buying some lower quality meat, but hey, ya gotta live a little, right?

Over in the dairy aisle I had more luck: Eggs on sale, a dozen for $1.50.

Total bill: $9.20

KNOW YOUR STORE

It’s also good to know what your store or stores offer regularly, so you can have a general idea of what you’re in for price-wise.

When it comes to living downtown, Grocery Outlet on Third is pretty much at the top of the game, but Winco is likely up there if you happen to live closer to one than I do.

Because I’m at Grocery Outlet all the time, I knew they typically have sliced cheddar cheese for $1.99, as well as potato buns for the same price. That’s also where I picked up a 5-lb. bag of russet potatoes for 99 cents, four ears of corn for 50 cents each, some fancy mustard for $1.49, and even some popsicles for dessert for $1.49.

Total bill: $9.95 In the end, I came in just under $20 with a major bonus: many of these ingredients will leave you with leftovers! Cheese!

Buns! Eggs! Potatoes! Lettuce! Take those spare ingredients and use ’em to make egg salad, breakfast hash, whatever — it’s up to you. Each meal you make after the barbecue just spreads that dollar further. n samanthaw@inlander.com

BURGER PATTIES Finely dice 1/3 of the onion (slice the rest in rings or dice and save for burger toppings later) and combine in a bowl with the ground beef, ketchup, pepper, salt, garlic powder and cumin.

Use your hands to do the mixing, then divide the mix into into fourths (or, in this case, fifths) and then gently form each ball into a patty.

Spread each patty evenly on a baking sheet lined with plastic wrap or waxed paper, making sure they’re uniformly thick, then throw the pan in the freezer.

CORN Start roasting the corn on the barbecue, husks still on, as it may take as long as 30 minutes to cook.

POTATO SALAD Boil six eggs in water for 15 minutes, then transfer to an ice bath to cool.

Meanwhile, boil water in another pot large enough to cover six large diced potatoes. I like to wash my potatoes and leave the peel on, but you could also peel them if you prefer. Cook for about 12 to 15 minutes, leaving them a little firm so you don’t wind up with mashed potatoes. Drain, and set in the fridge to cool.

After cooled, peel and dice the hardboiled eggs and mix them with potatoes, mayonnaise, both mustards, horseradish, and seasonings to flavor. Cover and return to fridge to cool while you cook.

Once the corn is done, grill up the burgers, add toppings and enjoy!

FOOD | OPENING

Business Casual Spokane Valley’s new lunch spot Sams and Coffee keeps it simple

BY BROOKE CARLSON

S

imple, clean, effective. These are qualities restaurant-owner Jacob Miller wanted to ensure his newest venture, Sams and Coffee, possessed.

The newly opened shop in Spokane Valley is cranking out hearty sandwiches, wraps, salads and specialty espresso drinks for the business people of a commercial area surrounding Mirabeau Parkway, and any passersby with a craving. Offering lunchtime favorites in a minimalist, industrial space, Miller’s original vision is clearly reflected in the shop.

“I just wanted it to be clean,” Miller says. “[When] you walk into a restaurant and a sandwich shop and it’s kind of dingy, you’re reading a book by its cover. We’re gonna give you a clean slate to not have to worry about anything else.”

Miller is no newbie to the restaurant industry. He’s mastered aspects of the food biz far and wide, starting as a dishwasher at a Boston’s Pizza and proceeding to work as a line cook, bouncer, bartender and everything in between.

In addition to Sams, he also owns Crave, a sports bar in downtown Spokane.

The name Sams and Coffee pays homage to Miller’s middle name but is also a bit of wordplay, “sam” being short for sandwich slang of “sammich” or “sammy.”

Though many restaurant owners come up with a concept before choosing a location, Miller said his experience was the opposite. He knew there were people in the business park on Mirabeau Parkway who didn’t have many options for lunch.

“I just wanted to offer them a good option of food that is different than what they’ve had so far, and closer, within walking distance,” Miller says.

Sams’ menu offers standard favorites like an old fashioned tuna sandwich ($9.95), grilled cheese ($6.95) and a club sandwich ($10.50), but Miller wanted to make sure the menu had more than plain old cold cuts. Some of the more adventurous choices were influenced by his favorite dishes from around the world.

“The menu started off with things that I’ve liked in my travels,” he says.

The Cuban sandwich ($10.95), inspired by a trip down South, is a combination of ham and pork piled high on grilled ciabatta, served with mustard and pickles. Sams also offers several substantial vegetarian options including a hearty veggie sandwich ($8.95) with greens, tomato, red onion, avocado and cheese smothered in

Featuring the 2018 Peirone Prize Winners, stories and listings on local organizations by category.

Sams and Coffee keeps it simple and flavorful. balsamic dressing.

Coffee lovers can also find something to enjoy at Sams through its full espresso bar. Though Miller has had no formal barista experience, he draws coffee inspiration from his bartending work at Crave, where staff specialize in making funky drinks.

“We call ourself flavor magicians,” Miller says.

With that kind of magic, Miller and the barista at Sams collaborate to come up with daily specials like “Jake’s White Angel,” ($3.95) a concoction of white coffee (coffee beans with a lighter roast resulting in a mild, nutty flavor) and white chocolate, vanilla and toasted marshmallow syrup. Though the blend may sound too sweet, the combination of flavors compliment each other surprisingly well.

Daily coffee and sandwich specials are advertised on the shop’s social media pages and in store.

Looking forward, Miller hopes to launch more Sams and Coffee locations in business parks around the area. Maybe even a “Jake’s” in the near future. n

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AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 39

Black Power Spike Lee tells an outrageous true story in BlacKkKlansman

BY JOSH BELL

T

he true story behind BlacKkKlansman is so fascinating that it would be tough for any filmmaker to screw it up.

In 1979, when Ron Stallworth was the first (and only) black officer in the Colorado Springs Police Department, he responded to a newspaper ad seeking new members for the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan and found himself bonding over the phone with leaders of the white supremacist organization — including, eventually, national director David Duke. With all of his contacts believing that he was a white man, Stallworth became an upstanding member of the KKK and spent nine months investigating the organization’s illegal activities, sending a white fellow officer to pose as him for in-person meetings.

Having Spike Lee helm the movie based on Stallworth’s memoir is a risk: The veteran provocateur’s films are as often messy and incoherent as they are incendiary and rousing, and there are moments in BlacKkKlansman when Lee (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Kevin Willmott, Charlie Wachtel and David Rabinowitz) overplays his hand, especially in tonally jarring sequences at the movie’s beginning and end.

But Lee also gets very strong performances out of John David Washington (son of Denzel) as Ron Stallworth and Adam Driver as Ron’s initially reluctant partner Flip Zimmerman, as well as a surprisingly powerful turn from Topher Grace as David Duke. The story’s inherent outrageousness is more than enough to grab

40 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

audiences’ attention without Lee adding an extra layer of Jewish Flip has never given much consideration to his shock value. own ethnic or religious identity, but by coming in direct After a bizarre prologue featuring Alec Baldwin as contact with so many people who would consider him a racist academic who keeps stumbling over his white less than human, he ends up examining his own privilege supremacist talking points, BlacKkKlansman settles in on in “passing” among his Christian neighbors. Washington Ron, whose tidy appearance and can-do attitude make and Driver have a strong dynamic as Ron and Flip go him an ideal candidate for the integration of the Colorado from adversarial co-workers to friends united in a comSprings Police Department. Relegated to the evidence mon cause, putting them at odds not only with the KKK room, Ron resents his position as a token hire, pushing but also with their own superiors. instead to be assigned undercover work.

The movie drags on a little long, He gets what he asked for, but only so BLACKKKLANSMAN with some extraneous subplots (the that he can spy on the local campus relationship between Ron and Patrice Rated R activists who’ve invited Black Panther never serves much of a purpose), but Directed by Spike Lee Stokely Carmichael to give a speech.

Starring John David Washington, Adam it culminates in a suspenseful series of Ron is too square to fit in with the events as Duke comes to town for a KKK Driver, Laura Harrier, Topher Grace Black Power activists (including Laura gathering, where he’s excited to finally Harrier’s Patrice, with whom he pursues a romantic meet “Ron Stallworth” in person, and where Ron (as an relationship), but he has trouble winning over his white officer of the law) has been assigned to protect him from colleagues at the police department, many of whom are potential threats. It’s a series of events that borders on clearly not comfortable with racial progress. Ron’s bold farce, but it works best when Lee plays things straight, move to target the KKK isn’t exactly welcomed with open letting the absurdity of the situation speak for itself. arms at first, but he eventually gets a few fellow officers Too often, he goes for a heavy-handed joke or on his side, including Flip, who gradually gets more reference to current events, which only undermines the invested in the idea of taking the group down. integrity of the story he’s trying to tell. By not trusting his BlacKkKlansman is certainly Ron’s story, but Lee and audience to make those connections, Lee shows a lack of his co-writers broaden it into a study of multiple types trust in his subject, too, and by the time the movie ends of identity. Ron isn’t the only one caught between two with a smash cut to recent news footage, it feels like Lee worlds, even if his position is the most obvious. The may have already forgotten about Ron Stallworth. n

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OPENING FILMS BLACKKKLANSMAN

Spike Lee’s latest joint concerns the true tale of black cop Ron Stallworth, who posed as a white supremacist and befriended David Duke in 1979.

An endlessly fascinating story is occasionally undone by Lee’s own dramatic heavy-handedness. (JB) Rated R

DOG DAYS

This ensemble comedy introduces a group of L.A. residents and shows how they’re all connected through their canine companions. The cast includes Vanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev and Finn Wolfhard. (NW) Rated PG

FIREWORKS

From one of the producers of the anime smash Your Name, another

dimension-hopping teen romance in which a meek kid discovers an orb that lets him manipulate time. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Not Rated

THE MEG

When a submersible filled with scientists is menaced by a megalodon, former Navy diver Jason Statham goes tooth to tooth with the same beast that cost him his career years ago.

Chomp, chomp. (NW) Rated PG-13

Marvel’s third feature this year is the least essential of the bunch, but it’s still a breezy, mostly fun adventure.

This time out, microscopic superhero Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) ventures into a so-called “quantum zone,” teaming up with scientist Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) to rescue her long-lost mother. (JB) Rated PG-13

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

Winnie the Pooh tracks down his former owner, now an adult and played

by Ewan McGregor, to help him search for his missing friends in the Hundred Acre Wood. (NW) Rated PG

THE DARKEST MINDS

Tedious, generic YA sci-fi yarn about teenagers with unexplained powers on the run from the government officials who want to eradicate them.

A retread of Divergent, but somehow even worse. (NW) Rated PG-13

DEATH OF A NATION

Convicted felon, certified crackpot

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2005 HONDA PILOT EX VIN: 2HKYF18415H568959 Loss Type: Other (Remarketing) Primary Damage: Rear

2006 SATURN ION LEVEL 3 VIN: 1G8AL55F36Z149183 Loss Type: Other (Remarketing Division) Primary Damage: Unknown

2017 NISSAN SENTRA S/SV/SR/SL VIN: 3N1AB7AP8HY345364 Loss Type: Collision Primary Damage: Front End

2012 CHEVROLET EQUINOX LT VIN: 2GNFLEEK9C6171471 Loss Type: Other Primary Damage: Unknown

and occasional documentarian Dinesh D’Souza here asserts that Hitler was a liberal, and interviews Richard Spencer about how Donald Trump is the next Abraham Lincoln. (NW) Rated PG-13

EIGHTH GRADE

The directorial debut of comedian Bo Burnham is an empathetic comingof-age story about a teenage social outcast and how she navigates adolescence in a hyper-connected world. A pure slice of life, featuring a knockout central performance by Elsie Fisher.

(SS) Rated R

THE EQUALIZER 2

Denzel Washington returns to the role of a former assassin who just can’t shake his violent instincts, seeking vengeance on the mercenaries who killed his friend. (NW) Rated R

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3: SUMMER VACATION

The popular animated series continues, with Count Dracula and his monster pals going on a cruise where the ...continued on next page

Many Run and Drive • Insurance Recovery Vehicles • Clean Title • Little to No Damage High-Quality Repairables • Parts Vehicles • Fleet Vehicles • Donation Vehicles Timothy M. Bush IAA Spokane Branch Manager 3520 N. Tschirely Rd. Spokane Valley, WA 99216 P: 509.891.2388

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The 1 year period starts from the day your account is activated. Expires: 08/31/18 © 2018 Insurance Auto Auctions, Inc. All rights reserved.

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 41

FILM | SHORTS

Fall Arts Preview

NOW PLAYING CRITICS’ SCORECARD fanged one falls in love. The voice cast includes Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Steve Buscemi and Mel Brooks. (NW) Rated PG

INCREDIBLES 2

The long-awaited sequel to the 2004 Pixar hit is pretty fun, but it’s hardly in the upper tier of the studio’s work.

Explosive action ensues as the superhero family is called out of retirement, fighting a mind-bending supervillain who’s targeting their colleagues. (JB) Rated PG

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

The Jurassic juggernaut lumbers on, with Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard returning to the prehistoric island as a volcano threatens to wipe out the dinos. It’s slightly better than its immediate predecessor, but it still doesn’t deliver on the potential of its premise.

(MJ) Rated PG-13

MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN

September 15-21, 2016 | alwayS colorful!

ge

Pa

NEW YORK VARIETY (LOS ANGELES) TIMES

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

70

THE DARKEST MINDS

38

EIGHTH GRADE

90

MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN

60

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – FALLOUT

86

THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME

51

THREE IDENTICAL STRANGERS

81

DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

THREE IDENTICAL STRANGERS

The remarkable tale of New York triplets who were separated at birth and reunited as adults, and the troubling secrets behind their estrangement. A fascinating, unpredictable and ultimately heartbreaking documentary. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG-13

A new and improved ABBA film musical, both a prequel and a sequel to the 2008 original, linking the past and the present on that idyllic Greek isle. Corny?

Most definitely. But it still works. (NW) Rated PG-13

iew

v Pre

THE INLANDER

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?

Fred Rogers, the Presbyterian minister and groundbreaking children’s TV show host, gets the biographical documentary treatment. Yes, it’s as heartwarming as you might expect, but it’s also a much-needed ode to gratitude and compassion. At the Magic Lantern. (JB) Rated PG-13 n

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE — FALLOUT

25

‘s

Who would have thought a ’90s film inspired by a ’60s TV show would still be cranking out solid sequels? As convoluted as the plot of this sixth installment may be, the action sequences are as jawdropping as ever. (JB) Rated PG-13

RBG

Supplement to the inlander

ALSO THIS WEEK: buILdIng bETTEr ’HOOdS

13

79 zOmbIES 94 74 KrATOm 18 bridget jones’s baby dOLLy pArTOn

Hagiographic but enlightening documentary chronicling the extraordinary life and trailblazing career of longtime Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, detailing her roles as a women’s rights advocate and feminist internet meme. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG

SKYSCRAPER

your three-month guide to the arts, entertainment and events in the inland northwest

on stands september 20th Promote your event!

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42 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

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by September 13th

The potential for a fun, action-packed disaster flick is lost along with Dwayne Johnson’s charisma and sense of humor in this incoherent mess in which he has to save his family from a burning hightech Hong Kong high-rise. (DN) Rated PG-13

ME

THE SPY WHO DUMPED

Mila Kunis discovers her most recent ex-boyfriend was a secret agent and, along with her BFF Kate McKinnon, is chased through Europe by the CIA and assassins. Only sporadically funny and surprisingly violent. (NW) Rated R

TEEN TITANS GO! TO THE MOVIES

The adolescent superheroes of the popular Cartoon Network series get a big-screen spinoff, and it’s little more than an extended episode of the original show. Scatological jokes for the kids, pop culture references for the adults.

(JB) Rated PG

NOW STREAMING EXTINCTION (NETFLIX)

An engineer is tormented by visions of a violent alien invasion, and when they turn out to be prophetic, he must save his fam-

ily from almost certain… well, you know the title. Save for a single nifty twist, this low-budget sci-fi actioner is a missed opportunity for a promising idea. (NW) Not Rated

FILM | ESSAY

NTERN THEAT GIC LA ER MA

Still the Word As Grease turns 40, we explore a popular internet theory: Is its sequel actually a better movie?

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

G

rease is probably the most famous movie musical of all time. It stormed the box office in 1978 and it’s been on repeat — both on screen and stage — ever since. I’ve seen it more times than I could possibly count. It’s seared into my brain.

As for its 1982 sequel, the oft-derided Grease 2: I’ve watched it exactly once. No reason to see it again. I thought we’d all agreed it was terrible.

But I’ve noticed a curious thing. There have been several recent online pieces defending Grease 2, some even asserting it’s better than the original.

Articles from the A.V. Club and Huffington Post praising Grease 2 inspired hundreds of comments, and the comedian June Diane Raphael has declared her unabashed love for the film on the popular podcast How Did This Get Made?

So how does Grease 2 actually hold up? Let’s compare it to its predecessor.

THE PLOT

GREASE: We all know it. Danny’s the greaser, Sandy’s straight-laced. He breaks her heart and she breaks his, but everything turns out fine.

It’s a testament to the energy and attitude of the music that you barely notice that the story is disjointed, its conflicts mostly resolved off-screen and its characters’ motivations changing at random.

GREASE 2: It’s basically a retread of the first, with the genders swapped. Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer) is the bad girl, Michael (Maxwell Caulfield) is the goody-two-shoes trying to fit in.

The stakes are just as low. It at least has fewer innocuous subplots than the original, but the movie still seems twice as long as its predecessor despite being the same length.

ADVANTAGE: It’s a draw

THE SONGS

GREASE: It’s impossible to deny that Grease’s songbook has seeped into our collective conscience, and so it has an automatic leg up. Everybody can hum “Summer Nights” and “Greased Lightnin’” and “You’re the One That I Want” — they have a built-in familiarity and I don’t think there’s a dud in the bunch.

GREASE 2: Although everyone remembers Michelle Pfeiffer purring “Cool Rider” on that ladder, most of the tunes in Grease 2 are simply not all that good. A few are actually deeply un-

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WONT YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR (92 MIN) FRI/SAT: 2:30, 6:30 SUN: 12:30, 4:30 TUE-THU: 4:30

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Are we still hopelessly devoted to Grease 40 years later? comfortable, even unlistenable: A half-assed song about bowling, anyone?

ADVANTAGE: Grease

THE STARS

GREASE: The first film puts its most powerful weapons — John Travolta and Olivia NewtonJohn — out front. Sure, they’re 20-somethings playing high schoolers, but it’s kind of amazing in retrospect that neither of them look foolish doing it. It’s no wonder why they became icons.

GREASE 2: If Grease had ’70s stars playing ’50s dress-up, the sequel has ’80s stars playing Grease dress-up. Adrian Zmed, as the leader of the T-Birds gang, is no Travolta. But it must have been apparent to everyone in ’82 that Pfeiffer was a born movie star. She’s an island of effortless cool amidst a sea of dorkiness.

ADVANTAGE: Grease

THE GENDER POLITICS

GREASE: It’s been pointed out before, but it’s really true: The film is predicated on a gross double standard. Danny Zuko is a total douche and yet he’s eventually rewarded, while Sandy completely changes her lovely personality and style because… why? To prove she can stoop to his level? Why do we even want her to be with him? Sandy, you can do better!

GREASE 2: The sequel, meanwhile, flips the script. Stephanie is confident, defiant and refuses to be defined by (or confined to) a man. She could take Zuko in a rumble. The movie still has its problematic moments — the less said about the grope-y “Do It for Our Country” number, the better — but its focus on female agency is refreshing for its era.

ADVANTAGE: Grease 2

THE FINAL VERDICT

So, is Grease 2 a better movie than its predecessor? Not even close. But is it the D-grade flop I had remembered it being? Not at all. It’s got some charm, even if it feels like a low-rent version of the first one.

And that Michelle Pfeiffer? She’s got real potential. n Suds & Cinema Presents Grease Sing-Along • Thu, Aug. 16 at dusk • Free • All ages • 21+ beer garden featuring $5 pints from Icicle Brewing and benefiting Terrain • Olmsted Park • N. Nettleton and Summit Parkway

Sports Physicals at Planned Parenthood Yes! You can get sports physicals at your local Planned Parenthood health center!

To learn more about our general health care services, or to schedule an appointment, visit ppgwni.org, or call 866.904.7721

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 43 PlannedParenthood_SportsPhysicals_080918_

Spokane local releases 16 new songs!

Sure you could go to the gym but eating here is way more fun.

1414 N Hamilton St. | Logan/Gonzaga 509-368-9087 | wedonthaveone.com

www.frankvincentband.com

Craft Beer & Music Festival Saturday, August 18

22 BREWERIES 44 CRAFT BEERS ///////////// /////////

3 BANDS

SHAKEWELL ROYALE

ELEPHANT GUN RIOT

KELLOGG, ID 44 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

FESTIVAL

A MUSICAL CAUSE A summer festival with a purpose, Gleason Fest continues to celebrate regional music and raise ALS awareness

Blind Pilot

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

G

leason Fest is more than just an afternoon of outdoor music. It’s the namesake festival of Steve Gleason, Spokane native and former NFL player who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease in 2011, and its proceeds benefit ALS research.

It always boasts a diverse array of artists — Portugal.

The Man, Pickwick, Grouplove, Blue Scholars and Lukas Nelson have all headlined past fests — and this year is no exception. And Gleason himself, an avid music fan, usually shows up.

Here’s a rundown of the major artists hitting the stage in Riverfront Park on Saturday.

BLIND PILOT

Portland’s Blind Pilot follows in the sonic footsteps of groups like the Lumineers and Mumford and Sons, making the kind of rustic but polished and jangly folk-pop that people in the Pacific Northwest typically flip for. It’s the project of songwriter Israel Nebeker, whose band accentuates his acoustic compositions with the occasional pluck of a mandolin or the warmth of a horn section. A typical live set is going to encompass a full spectrum of emotions: “Umpqua Rushing,” the lush opener of the band’s heartbreaker of an album And Then Like Lions, is a diary entry about the disintegration of a long relation-

ship, while the gentle serenade “3 Rounds and a Sound” is destined to accompany the first dance at countless future weddings.

JOSEPH

It’s true that siblings tend to have an innate and unexplainable connection, and it’s especially true of the sisters in the band Joseph, whose voices were probably destined to blend together regardless of genetic makeup. Natalie Closner was working as a solo musician in Portland (and, for a short time, in Spokane) when she asked her younger ...continued on next page

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 45

MUSIC | FESTIVAL

“A MUSICAL CAUSE,” CONTINUED...

Deep Sea Diver

MATT WIGNALL PHOTO

twin siblings Allison and Meegan to sing with her. They all knew they had something, and their success came quickly: They were signed to Dave Matthews’ ATO label and sold out plenty of shows on their early national tours, including a couple at the Bartlett. The band recently released an EP of covers, reimagining everything from the Rolling Stones’ “Moonlight Mile” and Tears for Fears’ “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” in unexpected ways. It’s further proof of their musical malleability.

DEEP SEA DIVER

I first became aware of Jessica Dobson when she was a touring musician for the likes of Beck, the Shins and Spoon, but I really became a fan when I heard her solo project, Deep Sea Diver.

Though it’s hard not to hear traces of the artists Dobson has previously played with, Deep Sea Diver is an entirely different (and entirely unexpected) beast. The band’s 2016 album Secrets is 45 minutes of shimmering synths and funk-inspired basslines, pushed along by the ever-insistent beat of drummer Peter Mansen To donate or volunteer, (also Dobson’s husband). And visit teamgleason.org. then there’s Dobson’s guitar, alternately soft and spiky, swirling around everything and occasionally needling you with a thrilling blast of feedback. Their name is apropos: Follow them below the surface, and you’ll find depths previously unexplored. They’re one of Seattle’s coolest working bands.

THE SHOOK TWINS

Another sister act, and another fusion of folk and pop, built upon the haunting intertwined vocals of identical twins Katelyn and Laurie Shook, who have been a summer festival staple since starting out in Sandpoint nearly 15 years ago. They consider their voices to be their primary instruments — beguiling ones, at that — though when they perform as a duo they tend to lean on beatboxing and electronic looping, with appearances from glockenspiel, ocarina, djembe and a large, gold-colored shaker that’s shaped like an egg. The Shooks last released a six-song EP in 2017 and a new single called “Stay Wild” earlier this year, an ethereal mid-tempo ballad that floats along and an unexpectedly catchy “doo-doo-doo” chorus. n Gleason Fest • Sat, Aug. 11 at 4 pm • All ages • $27.50 general, $70 VIP • Riverfront Park Lilac Bowl • 507 N. Howard • gleasonfest.org • 869-8630

46 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

MUSIC | ACOUSTIC

Troubled Waters Punch Brothers try to cut a light through the fog of modern discourse on their new album

BY DAN NAILEN

W

hen we think of “political” musicians, we tend to mention punk bands or old folk-rockers.

We don’t typically look at a group like Punch Brothers — the nattily attired acoustic aces led by mandolin master Chris Thile — as the modern version of the Clash or Bob Dylan.

Perhaps we should.

The quintet’s latest album, All Ashore, might not be full of anti-war anthems or blatantly topical lyrics, but its nine songs are the sound of five artists coming to terms with a world they barely recognize as the same one from when the band started 12 years ago. Thile, in a phone call from the Punch Brothers’ tour stopping in Spokane Aug. 15, says the album is a “meditation on being alive right now.”

“We have a bunch of 30-somethings in this band, so this is certainly the most tumultuous political climate any of us have ever experienced,” Thile says. “And we’re also in that spot of life where we’re falling in love, getting married, having children, trying to stay in love, trying to

The world’s a scary place, and the Punch Brothers’ Chris Thile (center) wants to provide a musical pep talk. make the world a safe place for these little people we’ve been entrusted with.”

As always with Punch Brothers, the music on All Ashore throws sounds ranging from bluegrass to classical, to rock, to jazz, into a sonic blender, with the result a stunningly smooth aural trip engineered by Thile, guitarist Chris Eldridge, bassist Paul Kowert, banjo player Noam Pikelny and fiddler Gabe Witcher. It’s impossible not to get swept up by their skillful musicianship, and that’s even more true in the live environment. Seeing a Punch Brothers show means seeing some of the best musicians you’ve ever seen or heard, regardless of genre.

Lyrically, as the listener moves from start to finish of All Ashore, the songs move from the highly personal to a wider view of the absurd world around us to songs that are almost pep talks to keep on keepin’ on at the album’s end. Thile equates the opening title track to “our demons hissing at us,” but it sure sounds beautiful, while he compares the closing “Like It’s Going Out of Style” to a “mantra-like pep talk for oneself, one’s romantic partner, one’s friends. Just a hopeful, communal thing.”

As a whole, Thile considers All Ashore the result of a band that’s more comfortable in its own skin. Early on, he says, there was “a certain thumbing our nose at expectation that I think was audible in the music, that was actually part of the theme of the music MORE EVENTS subconsciously.” That Visit Inlander.com for “expectation” was complete listings of likely a similar sound local events. to Thile’s hugely successful previous band, Nickel Creek, but he was determined to make music that veered wildly from where he’d already been with that group.

A dozen years after forming, Punch Brothers have forged enough of their own identity to not sweat anyone else’s notions of what they should sound like. And all the

JOSH GOLEMAN PHOTO

guys in the band have outside projects. Thile replaced Garrison Keillor as host of A Prairie Home Companion radio show (now Live from Here) and continues to record with other artists, as do the other Brothers. When they get back together to record and tour, it’s with a confidence they might not have had as guys in their mid-20s.

Thile considers both All Ashore and its predecessor, 2015’s The Phosphorescent Blues, as efforts to look in the mirror “not as an individual, but as a member of humanity,” and “check us all out.”

“Increasingly, art that does that is what enables transcendence for me,” Thile says, noting that in recently reading Philip Roth’s American Pastoral, he was struck by the novelist’s ability to address the state of the American Dream in an artful way that revealed “truth after truth that struck me.”

“He’s not sitting there going … ‘Here is the answer,’” Thile says. “It’s just that he’s trotting out all these questions and you feel less alone when you ask those questions. That’s the kind of activity that interests me the most. I want to hear people ask the questions so I don’t feel as alone.”

Music, Thile says, offers a way to ask tough questions of people about the world in an elegant way, with some “beautiful ambiguity” and “a certain fog” that allows the listener to fill in the answers as they hear the songs.

“If there’s an answer swirling around in that fog for you, you’re kind of the co-composer in that situation,” Thile says. “I think All Ashore lives in that fog. We’re asking questions. We’re in a discussion … These are the things we need to be talking to each other about, and trying not to yell at each other about. I think music can help with that.” n Punch Brothers with Madison Cunningham • Wed, Aug. 15 at 8 pm • All ages • $40-$70 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7638

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 47

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

ALT-COUNTRY AMERICAN AQUARIUM

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 08/9

ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, KOSH J BABY BAR, Supercrush, BaLonely, Fun Ladies BERSERK, Vinyl Meltdown BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BOLO’S, Blues Society Boogie BOOMERS, Tin Cup Monkey J BOOTS BAKERY, The Song Project J BUCER’S, Open Jazz Jam J COEUR D’ALENE PARK, Flight Risk CORBY’S BAR, Steve Fleming THE CORK & TAP, Truck Mills CRAFTED TAP HOUSE, Echo Elysium CRAVE, DJ Stoney Hawk CRUISERS, Open Jam Night DARCY’S, Karaoke w/DJ Dave THE GILDED UNICORN, Nick Grow J HAYDEN CITY PARK, Stagecoach West THE JACKSON ST.,Songsmith Series JOHN’S ALLEY, Eric Tessmer J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Just Plain Darin MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, Jake Robin NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), PJ Destiny PALOUSE BAR AND GRILL, Kicho POST FALLS BREWING CO., Pat Coast J PROVIDENCE CENTER FOR FAITH & HEALING, Bridges Home RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos RIPPLES RIVERSIDE, Son of Brad J RIVERSTONE PARK, Coeur d’Alene Symphony THE ROADHOUSE, Karaoke SLICE & BISCUIT, Bluegrass Jam J SOUTH PERRY DISTRICT, Dylan Hathaway STEAM PLANT SQUARE, Ron Greene J J WAR MEMORIAL FIELD, Greensky Bluegrass ZOLA, Blake Braley

Friday, 08/10

219 LOUNGE, Smith McKay All Day BABY BAR, Twin Towers, DJ Ca$e, DJ Croquet

48 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

BLUEGRASS BLUE WATERS FEST

B

J Barham isn’t here just to have a good time. The frontman of American Aquarium — the band’s name comes from a Wilco lyric — is the only constant in the North Carolina-based group. The most recent incarnation of American Aquarium fell apart last year when the other members couldn’t keep pace with Barham’s driving work ethic.

Now backed with guys who can handle 250 nights a year on the road, and with the new Things Change album in tow, Barham is back to his barnstorming ways, singing songs with a decidedly progressive political perspective while still rooted in the small-town South.

— DAN NAILEN American Aquarium with Jaime Wyatt • Fri, Aug. 10 at 9 pm • 21+ • $10 • Nashville North • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • thenashvillenorth.com • 208-457-9128

E

very August on the shores of Medical Lake, the Blue Waters Bluegrass Festival basks in the summer weather and celebrates one of the most classic of American musical genres. A roster of current bluegrass artists will convene during a music-filled weekend, including husband-and-wife duo the Kenny and Amanda Smith Band, the Danny Barnes Trio and the Barefoot Movement (past performers have included the Steep Canyon Rangers, Della Mae and Front Country). You can also look forward to an open mic, a jam workshop, a musical youth camp and a tribute to the legendary blind finger-picker Doc Watson. And if you want to make a weekend of it, RV and tent camping is available.

— NATHAN WEINBENDER Blue Waters Bluegrass Festival • Fri-Sun, Aug. 10-12 • $25-$40 for single day passes, $55 for full festival pass • Waterfront Park • 1386 S. Lefevre St., Medical Lake • bluewatersbluegrass.org

J J THE BARTLETT, Sid Broderius and the Emergency Exit, Bar Talk, Skunktopus & more BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BLACK DIAMOND, DJ Sterling BOLO’S, Nightshift BOOMERS, No Quarter BORRACHO, Outer Resistance J BUCER’S, Colby Acuff THE BULL HEAD, Last Chance Band J CALYPSOS, B-SHARP CARLIN BAY RESORT, KOSH J J CENTENNIAL HOTEL, Paperback Writer as the Beach Boys COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Stephanie Quayle CORBY’S BAR, Karaoke CRAVE, DJ Stoney Hawk CRUISERS, Karaoke with Gary CURLEY’S, Vern & the Volcanoes J DAHMEN BARN, Nu-Blu DARCY’S, Karaoke w/DJ Dave

FARMHOUSE KITCHEN, Tom D’Orazi FORTY-ONE SOUTH, Truck Mills THE HIVE, Jelly Bread IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY, Ron Kieper Jazz Trio J INDIE AIR RADIO, Dayan Kai & Keith Greeninger IRON HORSE (CDA), Dangerous Type JOHN’S ALLEY, Folkslinger, Maple Bars LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Carey Brazil MARYHILL WINERY, Dylan Hathaway J J MEDICAL LAKE, Blue Waters Bluegrass Festival feat. Kenny & Amanda Smith, Danny Barnes Trio, The Barefoot Movement, Po’ Ramblin’ Boys & more (see above) MOOSE LOUNGE, Haze MOOTSY’S, Ghost Heart, Guardian, Differences, NVM MULLIGAN’S, Kyle Swaffard J NASHVILLE NORTH, American Aquarium (see above)

J J NORTHERN QUEST RESORT & CASINO, Train, Pat McGee O’SHAYS IRISH PUB & EATERY, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots OUTLAW BBQ & CATERING, Songsmith Series feat. Brett Allen PACIFIC AVENUE PIZZA, Sydney Nash PALOUSE BAR & GRILL, Kicho J PARK BENCH CAFE, Just Plain Darin PATIT CREEK CELLARS, Ken Davis J THE PIN!, Pathology, Within Destruction, Parasitic Ejaculation RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos SILVER MOUNTAIN SKI RESORT, Christy Lee; Echo Elysium (at Noah’s) J SPOKANE TRANSIT PLAZA, Marshall McLean Band, Bart Budwig THE VIKING, Shaiden Hutchman THIRSTY DOG, DJs WesOne & Big Mike

J J WAR MEMORIAL FIELD, Sublime with Rome ZOLA, Rewind

Saturday, 08/11

219 LOUNGE, Baregrass J BABY BAR, Ingrown, Regional Justice Center, Stiff Fish (6:30pm, all ages); Baus, Peru Resh, S1ugs (9pm, 21+) BARLOWS, Kyle Swaffard J THE BARTLETT, Hoaxes, Summer In Siberia, Soul Man Black BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn J J THE BIG DIPPER, Ongoing Concept, Boat Race Weekend (page 51), Ghost Heart, Wayward West BLACK DIAMOND, DJ Kevin BOLO’S, Nightshift J BUCER’S, Navin Chettri Project J CALYPSOS COFFEE, Gemini Dei CARLIN BAY, Donnie Emerson

CEDAR STREET BRIDGE, Chris Lynch & Brian Jacobs J J CENTENNIAL HOTEL, Paperback Writer: A Beatles Tribute COLBERT TRADING CO., No Reply CURLEY’S, Vern & the Volcanoes J J GARLAND DISTRICT, Garland Street Fair feat. Super Sparkle, The Cary Fly Band, Lavoy & more GREENBRIAR INN, Jan Harrison Jazz J HARRISON CITY PARK, Gil Rivas THE HIVE, BoomBox HOUSE OF SOUL, Nu Jack City & DJ P-Funk IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY, Truck Mills J INDIE AIR RADIO, Dayan Kai & Keith Greeninger IRON HORSE (CDA), Dangerous Type THE JACKSON ST., Karaoke LAUGHING DOG BREWING, John Firshi LEFTBANK WINE, Dylan Hathaway LITZ’S BAR & GRILL, VooDoo Church LOST BOYS’ GARAGE, Eric Neuhausser MARYHILL WINERY, Cover2Cover J J MEDICAL LAKE, Blue Waters Bluegrass Festival MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, Ron Greene MIX PARK, Stagecoach West MOOSE LOUNGE, Haze

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

MULLIGAN’S, Frank Moore NASHVILLE NORTH, Ladies Night with Luke Jaxon and DJ Tom ONE TREE CIDER HOUSE, Kori Ailene PALOUSE BAR AND GRILL, Kicho J THE PIN!, Fell from the Ship, Ten Speed Pile Up, Insubordinary, Light in Mirrors POST FALLS BREWING, Echo Elysium RAZZLE’S, Routes, Kozmik StormZz RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos J J RIVERFRONT PARK, Gleason Fest feat. Blind Pilot, Joseph, Deep Sea Diver, The Shook Twins, Electric Son (see page 45) SILVER MOUNTAIN SKI RESORT, Robby French (at Noah’s) TEMPLIN’S RED LION, The Jukers J J WAR MEMORIAL FIELD, Phillip Phillips, Gavin DeGraw WESTWOOD BREWING, Son of Brad ZOLA, Rewind

Sunday, 08/12

219 LOUNGE, Sandpoint Jazz Society ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Robin Barrett & Coyote Kings JJ BABY BAR, Patti, Balonely, MaidenHair CARLIN BAY RESORT, KOSH COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, The Powers CRAFTED TAP HOUSE, Kyle Swaffard CRAVE, DJ Dave CURLEY’S, Usual Suspects GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke J J KNITTING FACTORY, Cody Jinks, Red Shahan, Pearl LINGER LONGER LOUNGE, Open Jam LITTLE GARDEN CAFE, Nick Grow

MARYHILL WINERY, Daniel Hall J J MEDICAL LAKE, Blue Waters Bluegrass Festival O’DOHERTY’S, Live Irish Music ONE SHOT CHARLIE’S, Mark Stephens PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Scott Kirby J THE PIN!, J. Rod the Problem J J WAR MEMORIAL FIELD, Festival at Sandpoint Symphony Concert ZOLA, Lazy Love

Monday, 08/13

J J THE BARTLETT, River Whyless, Adam Torres THE BULL HEAD, Songsmith Series J CALYPSOS COFFEE, Open Mic CRAVE, DJ Dave EICHARDT’S, Jam with Truck Mills NORTHERN RAIL, Music Challenge J THE PIN!, David Simmons, Chelsey Heidenreich & more RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic THE ROADHOUSE, Byrom Brothers ZOLA, Perfect Mess

Tuesday, 08/14

219 LOUNGE, Karaoke with DJ Pat J J THE BARTLETT, Northwest of New Orleans feat. Hot Club of Spokane, Rachel Aldridge, Dayan Kai CRAVE, DJ Dave GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Turntable Tue. J THE PIN!, Insane Clown Posse, Esham, Knothead, Manwitnoname POST FALLS BREWING, Devon Wade RAZZLE’S, Open Mic Jam RIDLER PIANO BAR, Open Mic/Jam RIPPLES RIVERSIDE, Son of Brad

*

WEEKDAYS 5 AM - 10 AM

937themountain * Based on Data from Nielsen SP 18 P12+

RIVERFRONT PARK, Just Plain Darin THE ROADHOUSE, Karaoke SWEET LOU’S, Christy Lee ZOLA, Dueling Cronkites

Wednesday, 08/15

219 LOUNGE, Truck Mills, John Fershee BABY BAR, Lindseys, Headless Heartless, The Canned Vegetables BARRISTER WINERY, Kori Ailene J THE BARTLETT, Jason Eady, Courtney Patton J J BING CROSBY THEATER, Punch Brothers (see page 47), Madison Cunningham CRAVE, DJ Dave CRUISERS, Open Jam Night EICHARDT’S, Amy Obensk GENO’S, Open Mic HOUSE OF SOUL, Jazz & Whiskey THE JACKSON ST., Karaoke J KENDALL YARDS, Dylan Hathaway J KNITTING FACTORY, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Wilderado LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Carey Brazil LOST BOYS’ GARAGE, Jazz Weds.

LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 MILLWOOD BREWING, Nick Grow MOOTSY’S, Year of the Cobra, Merlock, Bruja J J NORTHERN QUEST, Alabama, Temecula Road POOLE’S PUBLIC HOUSE, Cronkites RED ROOM LOUNGE, Jam Session RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos THE ROADHOUSE, Open Mic THE THIRSTY DOG, Karaoke ZOLA, Whsk&Keys n

MUSIC | VENUES 219 LOUNGE • 219 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-2639934 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 BARLOWS • 1428 N. Liberty Lake Rd. • 924-1446 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEEROCRACY • 911 W. Garland Ave. BERSERK • 125 S. Stevens • 714-9512 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S • 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUZZ COFFEEHOUSE • 501 S. Thor • 340-3099 CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY • 116 E. Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208-665-0591 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague Ave. • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley, Idaho • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S PUB • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 THE FEDORA • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208-7658888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings • 466-5354 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 THE HIVE • 207 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-457-2392 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 HOLLYWOOD REVOLVER BAR • 4720 Ferrel, CdA • 208-274-0486 HOUSE OF SOUL • 120 N. Wall • 217-1961 IRON HORSE BAR • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL • 11105 E. Sprague Ave., CdA • 509-926-8411 JACKSON ST. BAR & GRILL • 2436 N. Astor St. • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. Sixth St., Moscow • 208883-7662 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 2013 E. 29th Ave. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague • 747-2605 MARYHILL WINERY • 1303 W. Summit Pkwy, Ste. 100 • 443-3832 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan • 924-9000 MICKDUFF’S • 312 N. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208)255-4351 MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE • 208 N 4th Ave, Sandpoint • 208-265-9382 MOOSE LOUNGE • 401 E. Sherman • 208-664-7901 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MULLIGAN’S • 506 Appleway Ave., CdA • 208- 7653200 ext. 310 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR CATERING & EVENTS • 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST RESORT • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE OBSERVATORY • 15 S. Howard • 598-8933 OMEGA EVENT CENTER • 25 E. Lincoln Rd. O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PIN! • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside • 822-7938 RIVELLE’S • 2360 N Old Mill Loop, CdA • 208-9300381 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 THE THIRSTY DOG • 3027 E. Liberty Ave. • 487-3000 TIMBER GASTRO PUB •1610 E Schneidmiller, Post Falls • 208-262-9593 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 49

Grab a snack from food vendors or shop from the many artisan makers at Saturday’s Garland Street Fair.

STUART DANFORD PHOTO

FESTIVAL GET TO GARLAND

The weather outlook looks like it’ll be another gorgeous summer day during the 16th annual Garland Street Fair, happening in the quaint business district of North Spokane.

The neighborhood gathering offers plenty to do for all ages, including hanging out and listening to live music from local performers, including Super Sparkle, Sara Brown Band and Lavoy Music. In between or during sets, grab a snack from food vendors or shop from the many artisan makers who are setting up along Garland’s streets. Beer gardens also await, as well as the festival’s car and motorcycle show, which offers a variety of awards for competitors ($15 to enter). Visit the street fair’s website for a complete entertainment schedule and a list of all the local vendors and community organizations you can expect to find.

— CHEY SCOTT Garland Street Fair • Sat, Aug. 11 from 10 am-7 pm • Free • All ages • Garland Business District, Spokane • garlandstreetfair.com

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

50 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

FESTIVAL BETTER THAN BAGPIPES

Wallace has a lot going for it, not the least of which is the town’s way with throwing a party. The summer months are jam-packed with community celebrations, including the upcoming Huckleberry Festival (Aug. 17-18) and, this weekend, the Wallace Accordion Jubilee hosted by the Red Light Garage restaurant and antique shop.

It’s three days of solo performances by visiting accordion players, parades and a Sunday accordion church service, because nothing screams a deep sense of faith quite like the sound of polka. Add a dose of dancing and food and you have the makings of a weekend unlike any other you’ve had this summer in a town that’s always known how to have a good time.

— DAN NAILEN Wallace Accordion Jubilee • Aug. 10-11 • Free • Red Light Garage • 302 Fifth St., Wallace, Idaho • redlightgarage.com

HISTORY MISSING PERSPECTIVES

From what I recall, most of my schooling on America’s Westward Expansion focused on the period from a white perspective. I remember learning about the struggles and successes of the pioneers’ trek west, but not so much their impact on Native tribes whose land they claimed as their own. An upcoming event from the Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture seeks to fill in these historical gaps with a guided tour of the historic Fort Spokane from the tribal perspective, specifically focusing on our region’s calculated division of settlers and Native peoples. The fort, built in 1880 at the confluence of the Columbia and Spokane rivers, was established to “maintain boundaries” of the then newly created Spokane and Colville Indian reservations. Leading the tour is former Spokane Tribe Chairman Warren Seyler, along with MAC interpretation manager Logan Camporeale. Tickets include lunch and transportation to the site and back.

— CHEY SCOTT Fort Spokane from a Tribal Perspective • Sun, Aug. 12 from 8:45 am-3 pm • $60/members, $65/nonmembers • The MAC • 2316 W. First • northwestmuseum.org • 456-3931

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MUSIC A FINAL VOYAGE

It seems like we’ve said goodbye to a lot of local bands lately. Rock duo Donna Donna parted ways in July, the ska-jazz collective Ragtag Romantics had their farewell show just last weekend, and now another group is calling it quits. Boat Race Weekend, the trio of childhood friends Evan Kruschke, Collin Price and Jay Orth, have announced their breakup, and their last gig will be Saturday night at the Big Dipper (which, not coincidentally, is featured on the cover of their last album, Near & Dear). “The reason for the split is not one of negativity or ill-will,” the band wrote on its Facebook page, “but simply the inevitable tides of life that shift and change priorities, sweeping us onward to new and great adventures.” If you’ve never seen their high-energy post-rock in person, now’s your chance.

— NATHAN WEINBENDER Boat Race Weekend with the Ongoing Concept, Ghost Heart and Wayward West • Sat, Aug. 11 at 8 pm • All ages • $8 • The Big Dipper • 171 S. Washington • bigdipperevents.com • 863-8098

CLASSICAL SYMPHONIC SUNSETS

Pack up a picnic basket and a blanket before heading up the hill to Arbor Crest Wine Cellars’ scenic grounds for an annual summer favorite with the Spokane Symphony. The orchestra’s two evening concerts on the winery’s grounds pair “cool classical music with quality wines… the perfect recipe for an unforgettable evening.” Guests who attend both of the Wednesday performances are treated to entirely different programs under the baton of resident conductor Morihiko Nakahara. The first concert, on Aug. 15, showcases several contemporary works from the past decade or so, capped off with Mozart’s Symphony No. 31 in D Major. The following week introduces several more modern compositions, with Bizet’s Symphony in C to wrap up the 2018 Soiree on the Edge series. Food and, of course, wine are available to purchase on site.

— CHEY SCOTT Soiree on the Edge • Wed, Aug. 15, and Wed, Aug. 22, at 7 pm • $20/lawn, $50/table • Ages 21+ • Arbor Crest Wine Cellars • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • spokanesymphony.org • 624-1200

AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 51

W I SAW YOU

S S

CHEERS JEERS

&

I SAW YOU LEFT LEG TATTOOS You were with your son at Home Depot in Liberty Lake on Sunday. He was having a hard time steering a shopping cart and you commented to me about it. I love the tats. If you see this, let me know if you’re interested in getting together for a cup of coffee or a drink. You can find me on CL missed connections :).

BEAUTIFUL AT PRIDE CDA I saw you sitting on a picnic table at CdA Pride over near the booth with all the purple.

I was with my kid pushing his stroller, probably wearing a black shirt. Why has it taken me this long? I can’t get that smile out of my head, and I should have offered to take you to do — anything really! If you’re out there, if you’re single, I’d love a shot to see that smile again. Let me try to put it there.

LET’S PLAY THE GAME HONESTLY You called for a rally to have a voice against hate. I applaud you for that. I rallied with you! But handing out fliers with scripts based on lies to the crowd to strike fear in the elected you want to force out is as cowardly as the hate you rally against. Don’t emulate the problem, be the solution!

LOOKING FOR CAROLYN SUE? RGS, I’m sure that I am not the only person with the name Carolyn Sue. It is true that I will soon be moving out of state.

I regret that I do not recognize your initials. Solve the mystery for me. I need more information regarding your identity. gcountry@yahoo.com.

MAN CHILD IN LOVE You: The most beautiful young lady sweating to pho and pizza and still having the prettiest eyes and kindest smile. Me: The handsome man-child hanging on every word and knowing I will always buy you chocolate covered almonds.

I cant believe how lucky I am to have met you TURTLE HERMIT We met at Crave on Saturday the 4th. I noticed your DBZ fillers you were wearing and said the symbols’ name. You bowed to my knowledge of the anime and I met your “brother.” We should get together and talk more. butterpopcorn8@ yahoo.com

CHEERS MY WONDERFUL NEIGHBOR The biggest cheer ever to my wonderful neighbor, Molly, who so generously steps up to help the most unfortunate dogs — the latest being Otis, who was an abandoned, wild and crazy dog living on the streets of Los Angeles and who was brought to Spokane in hopes of finding him a home. Well, he’s still wild and crazy, only now he’s loved

by Molly. As your neighbor, I love him from afar and love to watch the two of you interact. Thank you, Molly, for your kindness and generosity to Otis (and Emmett and Murray).

THANK YOU I am struggling. This week has been one of the worst of my life.

Illness, lies, betrayal and more. You put up with my antics and have helped me through the mess despite your own stress. I love you. I owe you the world

“

Please stop with this soggy/stale madness. Eating a bagel that has been microwaved is like chewing on a wad of wet paper towels.

and more.

TO BUBBERS I love our Sunday noodle dates. Your tipsy giggles as you try to maneuver chopsticks after too much wine are my favourite. I love your excitement about eggs in ramen and your devilish grin when you are giddy with drink and laughter. And even though we have had a rough weekend... I love you, bubbers.

THANKS FOR NOT HITTING ME On my way to work going across Monroe heading east on Everett this morning, sun in my eyes, tears in my eyes thinking of my daughter passing. I looked but in my blind-spot between the windshield and the door frame there you were. Thank you so much for honking your horn at me. I apologize, I truly didn’t see you. I pulled over to regain my composure, after a crying fit and a lot of prayers; I was on my way.

Thank you!

THANKS AGAIN I walked into Safeway on market street awkwardly lugging 20 lbs worth of baby and car seat.

You noticed and decided to grab me a shopping cart. Your simple act of compassion honestly blew me away. That is the first time anyone has done that for me. The fact that you even thought of doing that was awesome. So, cheers to you and thank you again. You made my world a little brighter.

SOUND OFF

1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

JEERS SHADE WHERE IT’S NEEDED Sunday, July 29, 1 pm Northwest Blvd Safeway, white GMC pickup with a black bed liner parked on the far west slot in front of the store. 91 degrees with no shade in sight and your sweet brown dog in the back of the pickup. I went into the store and when I came out he was panting as hard as a dog can pant. I wrote down your license and reported it to Safeway. I had to leave as I was picking up my mother at Walgreens. I came back and the information lady was verifying the info I had written down. I told her time was of the essence and she needed to get on the microphone soon. What is wrong with a person who would leave an animal in 91 degree heat with no shade? At least he wasn’t in the truck...

I would have broken a window to get him out. Are you really that clueless?

PLEASE for the sake of all things holy.

Do not leave your animals to suffer in this heat... NO WHERE, NO HOW. He was a sweet little dog who was needlessly suffering because you left him to suffer. I hope you see this jeers and learn something.

RE: JAYWALKERS NEED TICKETS TOO Learn how to walk. It’s a shame that Washington state was incompetent

”

enough to give a bad driver like you a license to drive and as you say, potentially cause “injury or death.” Put down your smartphone dumbass! What does purple or plaid people have to do with physics? You mention two different locations where you have a problem.

Why aren’t you more alert at these places? “Throwing yourself across the street”? Get out of your car and learn how to walk.

MICROWAVING BAGELS Coffee stands. I’m really not sure when it become socially acceptable to microwave bagels instead of toasting them in a toaster. But I am here to say that it is not. Please stop with this soggy/ stale madness. Eating a bagel that has been microwaved is like chewing on a wad of wet paper towels. Basic cooking chemistry is that when you toast bread it releases sugars inside if the bread which is why toast is so awesome in the first place. n

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS T A T A A L A N J I N G L A B R O K E M A M A W E N T B H A G E M I N R A R E P I S M A M Y A A N G E L C O O L E W O K

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NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

SPOKANE VALLEY

15 MONTHS

C H I P L E N A E W A Y E W R D E E A T O N S O F T T E N D O A R I D L A N E

84 MONTHS

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

BENEFIT DISC GOLF TOURNAMENT A benefit for Baskets for Babies, which teaches infant safety to new parents free of charge. Entry includes a full-size disc, a set of mini discs, swag amd more. Aug. 11, 7 am-4 pm. $40/adults; $25/youth. High Bridge Park, Riverside and A St. basketsforbabies.org (214-2634) NIGHT AT THE NAT A special event in conjunction with the exhibit Nat Park Remembered. Spokane’s Natatorium Park served the community for 75+ years; this event commemorates it on the Golden Anniversary of its closure. Event includes no host food and beer, music and a screening of the KSPS documentary “Remember When: Nat Park.” Aug. 11, 6-10 pm. $5. Spokane Valley Heritage Museum, 12114 E. Sprague. (922-4570) SCRAPS PAW-ART IN AUGUST Every Saturday, artists are at SCRAPS working on their latest animal-themed creation.

Express your creative side by taking part in the community art project or have your pet “paint.” Paintings by each week’s artists will be on sale; proceeds benefits the Animal Medical Fund. Free. SCRAPS Regional Animal Shelter, 6815 E. Trent Ave. spokanecounty.org/SCRAPS (477-2984) THE SPECTACULAR SOIREE An event featuring Sir Reginald, of Sir Reginald’s Spirits & Shenanigans, as well as treats and entertainment, including a silent auction and raffle. Attire is costumed masquerade or cosplay; semi-formal if you must. Aug. 11, 9 pm-midnight. By donation of $25+. Davenport Grand, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. bit.ly/2KdMljX

KINDNESS FOR A CAUSE CARNIVAL A festival with games, prizes, bounce houses, pony rides, face painting, barbecue and more. Proceeds provide support for low income youth in Spokane. Aug. 12, 2-6 pm. Free. Arlington Elementary, 6363 N. Smith St. facebook.com/KindnessForACauseSpokane

COMEDY

GABRIEL “FLUFFY” IGLESIAS Gabriel is one of the most-watched comedians on YouTube, with over 350 million views.

With a mix of storytelling, parodies, characters and sound effects, his comedic style makes him popular among all ages.

Aug. 9, 7:30 pm. $39-$75. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com MEGAN GAILEY Megan was a part of the 2015 Just For Laughs “New Faces,” a finalist in NYC’s Laughing Devil Fest, and a featured performer at numerous events.

Aug. 9-10 at 8 pm, Aug. 11 at 7 and 9:30 pm. $8-$22. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com 50/50 A mix of improvised games and show formats. Fridays at 8 pm, July 6-Aug. 10. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com DRINK N’ DEBATE The monthly comedy competition features teams of comedians from all over the Pacific NW. Aug. 12, 8 pm. $5. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com THE SOCIAL HOUR COMEDY SHOWCASE Featuring comics from the Northwest and beyond, and hosted by Deece Casillas. Sundays, from 8-9:30 pm. Free.

The Ridler Piano Bar, 718 W. Riverside Ave. socialhourpod.com (509-822-7938) IMPROV JAM SESSIONS An informal, open-format improv session led by a BDT troupe member. No cost, participation is required. Mondays from 7-9 pm through Aug. 27. 18+. Free. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. (747-7045) BACK TO THE FUTURE: THE ONE MAN SHOW Ryan Dean Tucker only has a week to get his parents back together and to get back to the future! Enjoy a night of a live on stage parody of this beloved classic where Ryan is Marty McFly live on stage, interacting with all other characters on video. Aug. 17 at 7 and 10 pm. $10. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague. thebartlettspokane.com BLUE RIBBON Improv skits based on county fair-themed prompts and suggestions. Fridays at 8 pm, Aug. 17-Sept.

14. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland.

(747-7045) HOWL AT THE HARVEST MOON Mark Morris Comedy presents Folger Emerson and headliner Andrew Rivers. Aug. 17, 8-9:30 pm. Free; 2-item min. Harvest Moon, 20 S. First St., Rockford. (291-4313)

COMMUNITY

HERITAGE GARDEN TOURS The gardens have been restored to look as they did when the Turners entertained their guests more than a century ago. Aug. 9 at 2 pm and Aug. 12 at 11 am. Free. MooreTurner Heritage Gardens, 507 W. Seventh Ave. heritagegardens.org HEALTH CARE CARNIVAL Try your luck at carnival games with prizes at every

booth. Event includes nearly two dozen vendors providing health information.

Aug. 11, 12:30-2:30 pm. Free. Providence Emilie Court, 34 E. Eighth. (474-2550) NATIONAL NIGHT OUT AGAINST CRIME Activities include meet-and-greets with Spokane Police, including the K9 unit and mounted patrol horses, along with the Sheriff’s Office helicopter, a rescue animal petting zoo, car show, kids’ activities, local business booths, vendors and a movie in the park at dusk. Aug. 11, 6-11 pm. Shadle Park, 2005 W. Wellesley Ave. spokaneparks.org (294-7584) WALKING TOURS OF BROWNE’S ADDITION Take a walking tour of historic Browne’s Addition, from opulent mansions to lost cemetery graves. Proceeds support the Friends of Coeur d’Alene Park. Aug. 11 at 9:30 am. $15. (850-0056) BRITBULL BRITISH CAR SHOW This event features British motorcars from Bugeye Sprites to Rolls Royces. Trophies are awarded for 19 car classes. All British vehicles are invited: show quality, workin-progress, and for sale. Aug. 12, 9 am-2 pm. Free/$15. Millwood Park, 9205 E. Frederick. northwestbritishclassics.com FORT SPOKANE FROM A TRIBAL PERSPECTIVE Join former Spokane Tribe Chairman Warren Seyler, and MAC Interpretation Manager Logan Camporeale, for a bus and walking tour focusing on the history of Fort Spokane from a tribal perspective. Aug. 12, 8:45 am-3 pm. $65.

The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org (363-5324) MOVING BEYOND TOXIC GENDER ROLES A workshop exploring how toxic gender expectations and expression

contribute to domestic violence and sexual assault. Includes discussions with community experts and faith leaders. In Wolff Auditorium, Jepson 114. Aug. 13, 8:30 am-12:30 pm. $25. Gonzaga, 502 E. Boone Ave. (343-5032) CDA 2030 CELEBRATION Celebrate five years of progress toward the community vision for the future at an event featuring the John Welsh Band. Events include a photo booth, giveaways and prizes, community art project and more. Aug. 16, 5:30-8 pm. Free. Riverstone Park, 1800 Tilford Ln. (208-415-0109)

FESTIVAL

BONNER COUNTY FAIR The fair theme for 2018 is “Good Old Days, Country Ways,” and includes a lineup of entertainers, bands, specialty acts, exhibitors and contests. Aug. 8-11. Bonner County Fairgrounds, 4203 N. Boyer Rd. bonnercountyfair.com SPOCON The annual convention offers gaming, costuming, writing and science panels, musical performances and more.

Aug. 10. $40. Doubletree Hotel, 322 N. Spokane Falls Ct. spocon.org CRYSTALLOGRAPHY GEM + MINERAL MARKET Featuring vendors of crystals, gems, minerals, rocks, jewelry, beads and more. Aug. 11-12 from 10 am-6 pm. Free.

Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. bit.ly/2AdzhLQ GARLAND STREET FAIR The 16th annual event hosts 160+ vendors of food, arts, crafts and more, as well as live music and a car/motorcycle show. Aug. 11, 10 am-7 pm. Free. garlandstreetfair.com

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Advice Goddess POWER TULLE

Why are there lots of bridal magazines but no magazines for grooms? What does that imply? —A Male Consider men’s general lack of interest in wedding planning. Of course, if men did the organizing, there’d probably be a paintball duel to the altar, strippers serving nachos, and a minister who ends the ceremony with: “You may now have a threesome with the bride and her sister.”

AMY ALKON However, what we could call the “wedding-industrial complex” — with $56 billion in sales in the U.S. in 2017 (per The Wedding Report) — is driven mainly by women (and, more recently — and to a lesser extent — very stylish gay men). So we often hear about “bridezillas” — human nightmares losing it over picky-wicky wedding details — but it’s the rare man who even comes close to caring enough to be called a “groomzilla.”

In fact, though many women start planning their weddings years before meeting a potential groom, there probably isn’t a guy out there who gave thought to, say, what the centerpieces would be until he absolutely had to: “Um...honey, am I crazy, or is that an electric cattle prod you’re holding?”

And frankly, for the average guy getting married, the ideal situation would be to propose, get clocked with a bowling trophy, and wake up 10 months later to one of his bros shaking a tux in his face and saying, “Hose off and get dressed, man. You gotta be at the chapel in an hour!”

These sex differences in wedding micromanagement reflect evolved sex differences in what evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt call “sexual strategies.” These refer to long-term versus short-term orientation in mating — committed sex versus casual sex.

Though there are times when casual sex is the optimal choice for a woman, in general, women tend to benefit more from a “long-term mating strategy” — holding out for men who are willing and able to stick around to protect and provide for their children. (Think handsome prince — and all that “happily ever after” stuff — versus handsome hookup.)

Men will suck it up and opt for a long-term relationship for a number of reasons, Buss and Schmitt explain: because being on the hunt is time-, energy-, and resourcesucking and because “highly desirable” women can hold out for commitment. But because a man can, let’s just say, sheet ‘em and street ‘em and still have a pretty good chance of passing on his genes, men often benefit more from a “short-term sexual strategy” — quantity over quality, or what I call the “I love a parade!” model.

Still, this isn’t all that’s driving the average man’s lack of interest in the color of the posies on the dessert table. There’s also the evolved sex difference in status competition — the differing ways men and women compete for status intrasexually (with others of their sex).

As I explained recently, a major way men compete for status with other men is by being accompanied by smoking-hot women. (Welcome to the Armcandylympics!)

These hotties don’t have to be wives or girlfriends; they just shouldn’t look like they’re with a guy simply because his credit card cleared at the rent-a-“model” website.

Women, on the other hand, evolved to compete for status with other women by pairing up with the most high-status man they can get. Though we’re living in modern times, we’re still driven by Stone Age psychology. In ancestral times, a woman’s partner’s status would have been a life-or-death issue — affecting the level of “provisioning” (eats, housing) and protection she had for herself and her children.

In other words, so-called “princess culture” was created by evolution, not Disney.

So little girls, to the great dismay of their progressive parents, are drawn to those stories of the scullery maid who ends up marrying the prince -- the rich, high-status, hunky dude (good genes!) who could have any woman but finds our girl uniquely bewitching.

A man bewitched is a man less likely to stray — so the fairy tale is actually a commitment fantasy. The “fairy tale wedding” is a celebration of that — the successful completion of an evolutionary imperative, or, as the bride might put it: “Nyah-nyahnyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! You girls fight amongst yourselves for the toothless peasants!”

Getting back to the male point of view, a guy gets married because he has become “bewitched” (“fallen in love,” in contemporary terms) and wants a life partner and/or a family and realizes that sex with a string of strippers is not the path to suburban dad-hood. However, even when a man decides to commit to one particular woman, his evolved drive for sexual variety remains. So...to finally answer your question: No man wants to buy “Grooms!” magazine — because a wedding is, in a sense, a giant frothy funeral for his sex life. n ©2018, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

54 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

EVENTS | CALENDAR

FILM

THE INCREDIBLES Screening as part of the Friends of Pavillion Park’s summer festival series. Aug. 10, 8:30 pm. Free.

Half Moon Park, Holl Blvd. & Indiana Ave. pavillionpark.org MOVIES IN THE PARK: DESPICABLE ME 3 Hosted by Spokane Valley Parks & Rec, with activities in the park one hour before showtime at dusk. Aug. 10. Free.

Valley Mission Park, 11123 E. Mission Ave. (688-0300) DOMINION An Australian documentary exposing the dark underbelly of modern animal agriculture through drones and hidden/handheld cameras. Aug. 11, 2-4 pm. $5. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. bit.ly/2mHBDJb (570-8614) MOVIES IN THE PARK: BEAUTY & THE BEAST Hosted by the Newport Roxy Theater, with food vendors on site and family events starting one hour before the show. Aug. 11. Free. Priest River City Park, US Highway 2. newportareachamber.com SOUTH PERRY SUMMER THEATER: BLACK PANTHER Movies begin at dusk, with open seating in the parking lot. Aug. 11. Free. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. (534-1647) WONDER Held as part of the Friends of Pavillion Park’s summer festival series.

Aug. 11, 8:30 pm. Free. Pavillion Park, 727 N. Molter. (755-6726) STUDIO GHIBLI FEST: GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES Directed by Academy Award-nominated Isao Takahata, Grave of the Fireflies has been hailed as an artistic and emotional tour de force. Aug. 12-13 and Aug. 15 (dubbed) at 12:55 pm. $13. Regal Cinemas, 4750 N. Division. fathomevents.com (509-482-0209) PETER RABBIT Showing as part of the Garland’s annual “Free Summer Movie Series;” doors open at 9 am. Aug. 13-17, 9:30 am. Free. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com KYRS PRESENTS: THE HEMINGWAY SERIES Monthly screenings of classic films based on Ernest Hemingway’s writings. Aug. 14 (The Old Man and the Sea). $5. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main Ave. magiclanternonmain.com SUMMER CAMP: SIXTEEN CANDLES The Garland’s summer movie series on Tuesday nights; spend $10 in Bon Bon before to get in free. Aug. 14, 7 pm. $2.50. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com INLANDER SUDS & CINEMA: GREASE 40TH ANNIVERSARY SING-A-LONG An outdoor screening and sing-a-long of the 1987 classic in honor of its 40th anniversary, with free Brain Freeze ice cream and food from the IncrediBurger truck for purchase, as well as a 21+ beer garden with $5 pints from Icicle Creek Brewing, benefiting Terrain. Aug. 16, 6:30 pm. Free. Olmsted Brothers Green, N. Nettleton and Summit Pkwy. bit. ly/2NZAad5

FOOD

TASTINGS ON THE TERRACE GSI hosts an evening of drinks, hors-d’oeuvres, music and mingling. 21+. Aug. 9, 5-7 pm. $25-$30. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. greaterspokane.org WINE TASTING Taste a collection of favorite summer wines. Includes cheese and crackers. Aug. 10, 3-6:30 pm. $10.

Vino!, 222 S. Washington. (838-1229) ALES FOR THE TRAIL The annual brewfest benefits the North Idaho Centennial Trail Foundation, and features regional beer, live music, food vendors and more. Aug. 11, 2-8 pm. $30. McEuen Park, 420 E. Front St. alesforthetrail.org WINE TASTING Tast wines from Bordeaux, France. Includes cheese and crackers. Aug. 11, 2-4:30 pm. $10. Vino!, 222 S. Washington St. vinowine.com 1950’S STYLE ICE CREAM SOCIAL Enjoy a sampling of ice cream sundaes, root beer floats and other dairy and non-dairy ice cream treats. Aug. 16, 4-6 pm. Free. Natural Grocers, 4603 N. Division. naturalgrocers.com (489-9900)

MUSIC

A BLESSINGS BBQ BASH Country music entertainers Christie Lee and Aaron Crawford perform at this poolside concert and fundraising event benefiting Blessings Under the Bridge. The evening includes chances to win raffles and silent auction items. Aug. 9, 6-10 pm. $30. Centennial Hotel, 303 W. North River Dr. butb.org (869-6697) FESTIVAL AT SANDPOINT The 36th annual concert series over two weekends in August this year features headlines including Amos Lee, ZZ Top, Sublime, Gavin Degraw, Phillip Phillips and more. Aug. 2-4 and 9-12; see link for detailed schedule. War Memorial Field, 855 Ontario St. festivalatsandpoint.com MUSIC UNDER THE OAKS FEAT. LILAC CITY COMMUNITY BAND Activities include a celebration of National Night Out Against Crime, with arts demos, a raffle and more. Aug. 10, 5:30 pm. Free.

Hays Park, Crestline and Providence. facebook.com/bemissnc WALLACE ACCORDION JUBILEE Wallace’s Iconic Red Light Garage plays host to accordion players from around the country, with concerts, parades and a Sunday Accordion Church Service.

Aug. 10-12. wallaceidahochamber.com COEUR D’ALENE SYMPHONY 40TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION Welcome the symphony’s new conductor Jan Pellant during an evening with hor d’oeuvres, dessert, entertainment, auctions and more. Aug. 11, 5-8 pm. $75.

The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdasymphony.org/shop/ WESS MORGAN Gospel music concert presented by Bethel AME Spokane.

Aug. 11, 7 pm. $25. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com SPOKANE SYMPHONY SOIREE ON THE EDGE Enjoy the Spokane Symphony under the baton of Morihiko Nakahara while taking in the stunning views of the city. Aug. 15 and 22 at 7 pm. 21+. $30-$75. Arbor Crest, 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

BACKPACKER GET OUT MORE TOUR Backpacker ambassador Randy Propster visits Spokane as the Tour makes its way to 60+ venues across the country, inspiring hikers and backpackers to get out and explore the great outdoors.

Aug. 9, 6:30 pm. Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe St. rei.com/spokane CAMP DART-LO KIDS’ OFF-ROAD TRIATHLON The 4th annual event is a great first triathlon for kids of any age,

and includes a lap swim in the outdoor pool (length dependent on age/skills; flotation devices welcome), a 1-mile bike ride and a 3/4 mile trail run. Aug. 23, 5:30-8 pm. $25/$30. Camp Dart-Lo, 14000 N. Dartford Dr. campfireinc.org ARENACROSS Dirty bike racing. Aug. 10-11 from 5:30-10 pm. $10-$15. Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4056 N. Government Way. mrparenacross.com BEAT THE HEAT An outdoor wrestling tournament created for wrestlers coming back from wrestling camps to showcase the new skills. Aug. 10-12 from 9 am-4 pm. Joe Albi Stadium, Wellesley Ave. and Assembly St. bit.ly/2kO7g2G PLESE FLATS PADDLEBOARD TOUR Let the sights and sounds of nature surround you on this flat water paddleboard tour on the Spokane River. Aug. 10 and Aug. 18. $25. spokaneparks.org ARCHERY INTRO Learn the basics of archery with skilled professionals.

Aug. 11 and Aug. 18 from 10 am-1 pm. $25. Palisades Park, Greenwood Blvd. & Rimrock Dr. spokaneparks.org COEUR D’ALENE TRIATHLON Race options include an Olympic distance triathlon, the “scenic sprint” and a duathlon (no swimming). Aug. 11, 7:40 am. $75+. cdatriathlon.com KA-POW 5K FUN RUN The 2nd annual 5k race benefits Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Inland Northwest. Dress up as a fave super hero. Aug. 11. $25. Grant Park, 1015 S. Arthur. (328-8312 x218) PADDLE, SPLASH & PLAY The Spokane Canoe & Kayak Club’s annual kids event offers a chance to try out a variety of water equipment, with experienced paddlers on hand to help you get started. Bring your own PFD if you have one. Aug. 11, 10 am-2 pm. Free. Riverside State Park Nine Mile Recreation Area, 14925 N. Hedin Rd. sckc.ws CLASS & A GLASS Experience a yoga and pilates class with a view and live music, followed by a sunset wine-down in the gardens. Aug. 14, 5:30 pm. $35.

Arbor Crest Wine Cellars, 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. arborcrest.com (927-9463) SPOKANE INDIANS VS. EVERETT Promos in the three-game series include Taco Tuesday, Future Texas Rangers night and Super Hero Night. Aug. 14-16 at 6:30 pm. $5-$20. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana St. (535-2922) COEUR D’ALENE PICKLEBALL CLASSIC The 4th annual tournament hosts players of all ages and skill levels. Aug. 16, 8 am-5 pm. Free. Cherry Hill Park, 1718 N. 15th St. bit.ly/2GgZFWX

THEATER

CCT NORTH IDAHO: NEWSIES Christian Community Theater (CYT NI) presents the Broadway musical based on the 1992 motion picture, inspired by a true story. Aug. 8-11 at 7 pm; Aug. 11-12 at 3 pm. $15-$24. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave. cytnorthidaho.org LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL The award-winning musical follows the transformation of sorority girl Elle Woods as she follows her ex to Harvard and tackles stereotypes, snobbery, and scandal. Aug. 9-26; Wed-Sun, show times vary. $27$49. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. cdasummertheatre.com SALLY’S VIRTUE -OR- “PLAYING GAMES AT THE SNAKE PIT” Can Jack and Sally work together with the local sheriff to win back the deed to the

EVENTS | CALENDAR Snake Pit during a very special game of cards? Aug. 1-26; Thu-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10. Sixth Street Theater, 212 Sixth St. sixthstreetmelodrama.com WINNIE THE POOH Christopher Robin’s fat little bear would like to drift peacefully through life, yet he finds himself involved in all sorts of frantic adventures. Aug. 9-11 at 7:30 pm. $10-$12. Pullman Civic Theatre, 1220 NW Nye St. (509-332-8406) THE PIED PIPER Take a trip to Hamelin Town with the Missoula Children’s Theatre, as more than 50 local students present this original musical adaptation. Aug. 11, 3-4:30 & 5:30-7 pm. $5. Prairie Avenue Community Church, 3639 W. Prairie, Hayden. (208-209-1082)

VISUAL ARTS PROPANE & PROPANE ACCESSORIES: A

HANK HILL ART SHOW A night of Hank Hill inspired art! A portion of each sale goes towards the cancer funds of Susan Webber and Kelly Vaughn. Aug. 10, 6-9 pm. Free. Resurrection Records, 1927 W. Northwest Blvd. bit.ly/2viLVna SECOND FRIDAY ARTWALK Coeur d’Alene’s monthly celebration of local art, with galleries around downtown hosting artist receptions, live music and more.

Second Friday of the month, from 5-8 pm, April through December. Free. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. artsandculturecda.org ARTIST TALK: KYLE PALIOTTO AND CATHERINE EARLE Featured artists Catherine Earle of Sandpoint and Kyle Paliotto of Hayden discuss their processes and inspirations. Aug. 11, 11 am-noon.

Free. Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave. theartspiritgallery.com (208-765-6006) CARY WEIGAND, KYLE PALIOTTO &

CATHERINE EARLE The Art Spirit Gallery showcases new works by Oregon ceramist Cary Weigand and local oil painters Kyle Paliotto and Catherine Earle. Aug. 11-Sept.

9; daily from 9 am-6 pm. Opening reception Aug. 10 from 5-8 pm. free. Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave. theartspiritgallery.com (208-765-6006) DROP IN & DRAW Beginning or experienced artists of all ages can explore mediums, develop skill and cultivate imaginative thinking. Supplies and projects provided. Hosted by children’s book illustrator Pierr Morgan and retired art teacher Nita Hill. Wednesdays, 4:30-6 pm.

Free. Spark Central, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org PLEIN AIR PAINTING The Evergreen Art Association hosts its second annual Plein Aire Painting competition at Odell’s Garden (1142 Green Rd.) on Diamond

Lake. The venue features great painting settings, including formal gardens, a greenhouse, pond and more, surrounded by lush evergreen trees. Artists need to provide their own chairs, umbrellas, art supplies and other materials needed for painting. Lunch included. Aug. 15, 10 am-3 pm. $50. (671-1635) ART IN THE PARK Stop by free art classes with Spokane Art School covering techniques such as printmaking, drawing, watercolor plein air and more. Registration begins at noon the day of in the Sky Ribbon Cafe. Aug. 18 and 25, from 1-3 pm.

Free. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. spokaneriverfrontpark.com (625-6600)

WORDS

DROP IN & WRITE Aspiring writers are invited to be a part of Spark’s supportive

local writing community. Bring works in progress to share, get inspired with creative prompts and spend some focused time writing. Tuesdays from 5-6:30 pm.

Free. Spark Central, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. spark-central.org (279-0299) BROKEN MIC Spokane Poetry Slam’s longest-running, weekly open mic reading series, open to all readers and all-ages.

Wednesdays at 6:30 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First. spokanepoetryslam.org I AM A TOWN POETRY READING Curious about sidewalk poetry installations all over town? It’s part of a project by former Spokane Poet Laureate Laura Read to explore the meaning of place through poetry. Come to Kendall Yards for readings of the full poems. Aug. 16, 6-9 pm. Free. The Nest at Kendall Yards, 1335 Summit Parkway. bit.ly/2KauNVZ (321-9614) n

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Lagunitas has partnered with absoluteXtracts to create an ale brewed with cannabis terpenes.

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he future of cannabis has been scaring major breweries ever since they’ve seen the market data on consumption after Colorado and Washington first legalized recreational marijuana.

Millenials are decidedly choosing pot over beer and spirits, leading to Corona’s distributing company, Constellation Brands, to invest $245 million last October in a Canadian company that looks to create cannabis-infused drinks.

And with Canada’s recent pot legalization, Molson Coors is planning on joining the fray for weed-beer supremacy, as they’ve announced partnership with Canadian cannabis producer the Hydropothecary Corp to begin working on a nonalcoholic drink containing THC. Cannabis will be considered legal in Canada starting in October, but edibles and beverages won’t be sold until 2019.

“We believe the merger of the cannabis and beverage industries hold great potential for investors looking to reap the benefits of innovation in the space,” Toronto-based analysis group Beacon Securities wrote in an open letter commenting on the move.

This all comes after news that Molson Coors, the second largest U.S. brewer, fell to a four-year low in share value after it reported a 3.8 percentage loss in volume. Cannabis analyst Vivien Azer found that states where weed has been recreationally legal have seen a 13 percent decrease in binge drinking per month.

“As cannabis access expands, we expect further pressure on alcohol sales, given this notable divide in consumer consumption pattern,” Azer said.

Craft beer darling Lagunitas have dipped their toes ...continued on page 58

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AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 61

COEUR D ’ ALENE

visitcda.org for more events, things to do & places to stay.

Light up the night Where to go for fun as the sun sets in Coeur d’Alene

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ven before the sun sets — after 8 pm in the summer — Coeur d’Alene offers plenty to do and see, from quittin’ time to the wee hours.

Wednesday is a busy day in Coeur d’Alene, including the FARMER’S MARKET downtown at Fifth Street and Sherman Avenue until 7 pm and LIVE AFTER FIVE concerts in McEuen Park through Sept. 5 (Tickets: $5, excluding special engagements), which includes a food court and beer garden so you don’t have to miss a minute of the music.

Also on Wednesday, grab some friends, a barstool and go play Wednesday night PUB QUIZ at Moose Lounge, an Inlander readers’ “Best Of” for many years. Have yourself a laugh or two, then stick around for karaoke.

Mik’s is a local fave for Wednesday night KARAOKE, too, as well as the place to go on weekends for DJ DANCE MUSIC. Weekends C O E U R

mean more live music downtown, including at the IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL, where you can go for dinner and stay for a rockin’ good time. If you’re thinking more like wine and appetizers, check out STUDIO 107 for live music Friday and Saturday, as well as scheduled wine events in an elegant, artfilled location.

Feel like you’re in the big city with NYC PIANO BAR, a new joint serving up Coney Island dogs and New York-style pretzels in a subterranean spot where there’s always someone tickling the ivories.

Summertime is lake time. Check out BANDS ON BOATS Aug. 17 and 31 (Tickets: $25, 21-and-older only. Or skip the live music and go for dinner and a show — the nighttime splendor of Lake Coeur d’Alene at dusk — on a SUNSET DINNER CRUISE, through Sept. 9.

(Tickets: $57, ages 55-and-older $52, ages 6-12 $33.25, 5-and-under free).

D ’A L E N E

Upcoming Events

COEUR D’ALENE

Legally Blonde, the Musical AUGUST 9-26

This award-winning musical follows the transformation of sorority girl Elle Woods as she follows ex-boyfriend to Harvard Law and tackles stereotypes, snobbery and scandal in pursuit of her dreams.

Coeur d’Alene Summer Theater’s rendition of this musical takes you from the sorority house to the halls of justice with theatre’s brightest new heroine (and, of course, her chihuahua, Bruiser). Tickets $49 adult; $42 senior; $27 child; 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday; 2 pm and 7:30 pm Sunday; Salvation Army Kroc Center.

62 INLANDER AUGUST 9, 2018

Ales for the Trail

AUGUST 11 A good time is brewin’ at McEuen Park when more than two dozen breweries and cideries take over the park to support North Idaho’s Centennial Trail Foundation. Enjoy live music while you sample some of the region’s best craft beer. Tickets $30 (include six sample pours), 2-8 pm, McEuen Park, alesforthetrail.org.

Savor North Idaho AUGUST 11

Enjoy an intimate wine tasting experience aboard a sunset cruise on Lake Coeur d’Alene. Savor Idaho is presented by the Idaho Wine Commission, and includes wine tastings, appetizers and live music by Douglas Cameron — making it an evening of pure bliss. Tickets $50, 6:30-8:30 pm, board at the Coeur d’Alene Resort.

visitcda.org for more events, things to do & places to stay.

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AUGUST 9, 2018 INLANDER 63

Entertainment

STEPHANIE QUAYLE Chinook Meadow | 7 pm Tickets $10 Montana native Stephanie Quayle will be playing her chart-climbing hit “Selfish,” fan-favorite “Drinking With Dolly” and more at the Chinook Meadow. Seating not reserved.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 10TH

THURSDAY, AUGUST 16TH

THURSDAY, AUGUST 30TH

SATURDAY, SEPT. 8TH

LONESTAR

THE FAB FOUR: THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE

SCOTTY MCCREERY

Event Center | 7 pm Tickets from $25 Known for merging their country roots with strong melodies and rich vocals, Lonestar achieved ten #1 country hits including “No News,” “Come Crying To Me,” and their crossover smash “Amazed.”

Event Center | 7 pm Tickets from $25 The Emmy Award Winning Fab Four is elevated far above every other Beatles Tribute due to their precise attention to detail. It’s one night you won’t want to miss.

Event Center | 7 pm Tickets from $50 After winning Season Ten of American Idol in 2011, McCreery made history with his debut album.

Don’t miss greatest hits like “Five More Minutes,” “The Trouble with Girls,” “Feelin’ It” and much more!

A L L R E S E RV E D S E AT I N G | P U R C H A S E T I C K E T S AT C A S I N O O R A N Y T I C K E T S W E S T O U T L E T Hotel & ticket packages available | Call 1 800 523-2464 for details

1 800 523-2464 | CDACASINO.COM | Worley, Idaho | 25 miles south of Coeur d’Alene