Inlander 04/23/2020

MISSING KIDS SCHOOLS SCRAMBLE TO REACH STUDENTS PAGE 12

WORKER PROTECTIONS UNIONS RUSH TO THEIR MEMBERS’ DEFENSE PAGE 8

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VOL. 27, NO. 28 | COVER ILLUSTRATION: JEFF DREW

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EDITOR’S NOTE

J

ust because a person wants to lock the bathroom door doesn’t mean he’s up to no good — that he must have something to hide, that wanting a little space to think, read a paper and drop a deuce in peace is reason enough to suspect him of something, to break down the door or install a peephole. You need not be a criminal to desire some assurances of PRIVACY, just a person hoping to preserve some form of human dignity.

All freedom-loving Americans should want to live in a world with bathroom door locks, with the ability to reasonably keep some things private.

That concept is under attack in the digital age, however, and often we’ve been unwitting co-conspirators. Giant companies like Google, Facebook, Apple and Amazon never really wanted us to read the fine print, and so every time we’ve clicked OK, they’ve taken it as a license to do whatever they want.

The good news: People are beginning to pay attention, to see how this power can be abused, and Washington state is taking a leading role in that effort.

But then comes the coronavirus, which has complicated matters as people look for ways of monitoring social distancing.

Staff reporter Samantha Wohlfeil’s in-depth report this week (beginning on page 14) is a must-read article, especially for anyone who likes to lock the bathroom door behind them.

— JACOB H. FRIES, Editor

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EDITORIAL

HOW WORRIED ARE YOU ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT AND/OR GIANT INTERNET COMPANIES SPYING ON YOU? WHY OR WHY NOT? JESS PONIKVAR: Just about everyone I know who works in enterprise IT Security has a sticker over their laptop webcam. The more you know about these modern systems the more careful you’ll be. I won’t have an Amazon device left on in my house unless I’m going to use it at that moment.

Jacob H. Fries (x261) EDITOR

Dan Nailen (x239) MANAGING EDITOR/ARTS & CULTURE Chey Scott (x225) FOOD & LISTINGS EDITOR Nathan Weinbender (x250) FILM & MUSIC EDITOR

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Normally, we ask our question of the week of people we randomly encounter on the street. But with the Inland Northwest in lockdown, we instead asked our followers on social media to share their thoughts.

SUCI PROCHNAU: Worried? It does no good to worry about something that you have absolutely no control over.

The world hasn’t enjoyed privacy for a very long time.

MICHAEL McMULLEN: I have several problems with it. Foremost the idea that privacy, in general, is seen as something unnecessary. Anyone who says they have nothing to hide hasn’t considered all the things they hide without thinking about it. Hiding isn’t innately nefarious, it just means you have something you don’t want someone else (your kids, your mom, your boss, your friends) to know about.

It erodes the very liberties that so many people talk about defending.

Happy Spring!

Our clinic is willingly cooperating with the Stay Home, Stay Healthy protocol as ordered by Gov Inslee and the CDC. We care deeply about the health and safety of our clients, staff and their families and encourage everyone to take extra health precautions to help #flattenthecurve. During this time of closure, our small business would be so honored if you, our AMAZING CLIENTS, would support us in the following ways: J Purchase gift cards J Purchase skin care products J Leave us an encouraging comment on social media J Share our posts with friends J Leave us a Review We are not staffing our phone lines at this time, however we can be reached via private message on FB and IG as well as via email: support@louisvillelaserspokane.com Stay Healthy, Friends! We look forward to meeting all of your skin care needs upon reopening!

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LISA BOYETTE: I’m more concerned with the other countries using our social media to do this.

PHILIP MARTIN: I’m not worried. They would get super bored. If they find me interesting, let them spy.

LUCAS HUTSON: I think the truth is that ship has sailed and quite awhile back. I mean we’re answering this on Facebook and they are a known privacy snooper. We have a variety of devices in our home that might be watching or listening and most sites are serving ads based on your browser activity.

Being aware of it does serve as a good reminder to make smart choices online.

BRIE EDWARDS: You give up your privacy the minute you get online.

Everything you sign up for, every website, every app, asks for some personal information to use it.

MARY SIGNER EBERLE: I’m worried that people don’t seem to care about mass surveillance more than I am worried about surveillance itself. Gone are the days of freedom. n

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If things got bad, really bad, maybe we would go hide in the woods

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here is a strange romance to a quarantine. To be told by the Important People In Charge that there are new rules, and you must follow them, and the rules mostly involve you confining yourself to a small space and keeping to yourself — it’s all very surreal and weirdly cinematic. It’s the first five minutes of every disaster movie. Somewhere in the back of my brain there is a muted but persistent ache that insists I be aware, present, and ready to run, because in the movie, things always get worse before they get better. I know I’ll be fine. I’m the protagonist. But still, those rules are going to have to be broken by some scrappy little survivor with apocalypse-tousled hair and no armpit stubble...

My 6-year-old explodes at my 2-year-old, using the exact same words I used on him 30 minutes ago when he was whirling a throw pillow around by its loose stitches. Just moments earlier they were playing together beautifully, using slabs of chipped granite scavenged from the garden as plates in a makeshift restaurant, but, as we are all learning, time and proximity will get you in the end.

The sun is out. After I litigate this one of many small fistfights, I lay on a blanket in the backyard feeling it warm my eyelids and think, not for the first time, that I might not mind being quarantined if I was alone...

The 2-year-old has tried to climb up the fence. He succeeded, but is stuck and screaming. Fearing that he will slip and deglove all of his little fingers, I run to help him. It’s lunch-

time anyway, so we all troop indoors (“Wash your hands! Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can…”) and I sit them down for a nutritious meal of whatever they did not finish at their last snack plus canned chicken noodle soup. The 6-year-old comes to the table dressed in various effects from the dress-up bin, looking so alarmingly like a plague doctor that I cannot even manage a “you are so creative!”

When I was 10, I had a copy of My Side of the Mountain that I carried with me everywhere, slipped into my backpack, tucked between the gummy seat cushions of my mom’s 1988 Ford Econoline, just in case I found myself lost in the woods and needed a survival guide. I recently reread it as an adult and had exactly no new take on it. I still identify with Sam Gribley, dreamy and secretive and stuck in a house with too many people in it, and I still found the ending just as jarring and awful, the way all adult decisions that come crashing down around children’s plans are. The only difference is now I am the adult, and lately my days seem to be filled with the mundane plan-ruining work of parenthood: feeding my children the cereal they’re bored of before opening a new box, asking them to do horrible, unfair labor like “brush your teeth” or “stop licking that,” and clipping fingernails, fingernails, fingernails.

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If things got bad, really bad, maybe we would go hide in the woods, I’ve thought briefly, romantically, and in that way that only a middle-class white woman who has never experienced housing insecurity might think. It’s the same thought that sends us camping 40 minutes outside of reliable cell service, laden with REI gear: homelessness! What a lark!

I lay on a blanket in the backyard feeling it warm my eyelids and think, not for the first time, that I might not mind being quarantined if I was alone...

Later, the 6-year-old tells me that tonight we’re celebrating Star Day, a made-up holiday that demands ice cream on the front steps while you watch the sunset. He tells me that if I let him stay up really late, we would be able to see millions of stars, and it occurs to me that he thinks that’s what we see, from our home in the middle of the city. He thinks that spotting the Big Dipper now and then, when we think of it, is seeing the stars.

If we did go live in the woods, that first night would blow him away. After he ate the acorn flour pancakes I made without complaint, after we had let the fire die down to a hot glow in the sand, and after his little brother had fallen asleep dense and warm on my lap, we would all look up at the sky together. My husband is behind me, our backs leaning against each other’s so we’re each resting equally, and the sky is more star than not, a brilliant and disorienting scatter of something against nothing. And the 6-yearold is stunned into silence. n Maureen Haeger is the host of Weekend Edition on Spokane Public Radio. She grew up in Spokane and is a graduate student at EWU’s school of mental health counseling.

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LABOR

The Bargaining Stage Unions promise to protect workers, and the coronavirus is demanding they prove it

BY DANIEL WALTERS

N

ew TV ads that started airing on morning shows throughout the Spokane region are aimed at grocery shoppers, but they’re not hawking deals on cabbage or Cap’n Crunch. Instead, the ads plead with shoppers to take measures — like wearing a mask and cleaning shopping cart handles — to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.

The ad is not paid for by Safeway or Rosauers.

Eric Renner — a former Safeway courtesy clerk turned president of the Union Food and Commercial Workers — says it’s the grocery union’s latest attempt to try to keep shoppers safe.

As plexiglass barricades have risen up at checkout

Cashier Carla Somerlott cleans a checkout counter at the Rosauers on West 14th Avenue. stands, as stores begin to place limits on the maximum numbers of shoppers, as cashiers begin to wear personal protective equipment, Renner says his union has been there every step of the way, striking deals with chains like Rosauers not just for safer procedures, but for benefits like a $2-an-hour wage increase for workers on the front line.

“We’re calling it ‘hazard pay,’” Renner says. “The employers are calling it ‘appreciation pay.’”

Right now, the American workforce is fighting for its survival on two fronts, battling a rampaging virus and a collapsing economy. For some workers, their jobs are in danger. For other workers, their lives are.

It’s not just grocery workers. Firefighters want to be able to quarantine themselves without dipping into sick leave. Nurses want to feel safe to speak out publicly about unsafe conditions.

Two years after a Supreme Court decision threatened to further cripple already-weakened unions across the country, unions throughout the region say they’ve rushed into the fray on behalf of their workers, hammering out new worker-safety agreements with employers, pushing

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for temporary pay increases, and — in some cases — protecting the free speech rights of their members to speak out against the unsafe practices of their employers.

Yet, at the same time, the crisis has given anti-union groups the chance to call for unions to be defunded.

THE WORKER’S VOICE

“The job that we do has always been a hazardous job,” says Spokane Valley’s MultiCare Valley Hospital nurse Shawn Reed. “But the nature of the pandemic and the infectious rate of COVID has really highlighted exactly how much risk we’re in.”

The Service Employees International Union 1199NW, which represents MultiCare nurses in Spokane, set up a COVID-19 hotline for members to call in any safety concerns they have at their hospitals.

Jane Hopkins, vice president of the SEIU 1199NW chapter, says they nailed down an agreement with MultiCare about a month ago to win assurances related to sick days, quarantines and protective equipment. ...continued on page 10

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“We use the collective power of having a union statewide to make sure that people on the east side are getting what they need,” Hopkins says.

Similarly, the Washington State Nurses Association, which represents nurses at the Providence-run Sacred Heart and Holy Family hospitals, says they’ve been making a litany of requests to local hospitals and other employers: Scrubs and a safe location to change their uniforms. Telecommuting or other alternatives to protect older at-risk employees. Prompt notifications when they may have been exposed. Enough masks and other protective equipment to match the quantity and quality recommended by experts.

“They’re trying to save patients and protect themselves without proper equipment,” says Anne Tan Piazza, director of strategic initiatives with the WSNA. Piazza says the union has already secured multiple “COVID agreements” with institutions across the state — though so far, she says, they haven’t reached a deal with Providence.

Last month, multiple Providence employees reached out to the Inlander to express fear about the lack of proper face masks — but were too afraid for their jobs to identify themselves by name.

In hospital systems across the state, Piazza says, nurses have been threatened if they speak out publicly.

In one sense, businesses often discourage their employees from talking to reporters.

“We’re not trying to politicize a virus that’s actually killing people.” “[Our employees are] under a lot of stress right now, and sometimes those questions bring out some raw emotion,” Jeff Philipps, CEO of Rosauers, told the Inlander last month. “We just don’t want to put our employees in a position where they have to go through that.”

But grocery stores are one thing. Hospitals are another. “One of the sacred codes of ethics for nurses and health care providers is to speak up on safety concerns,” says Piazza.

Can unions effectively protect their members from potential retaliation if they speak out? It depends on which union you ask.

When the Inlander tried to connect with nurses working in the Spokane Veterans Home, where at least 23 residents and two staff members have tested positive for the coronavirus, the WSNA expressed concern.

“We don’t want to risk putting one of our nurses forward to talk about what’s going on inside the Spokane Veterans Home at this point,” WSNA spokeswoman Ruth Schubert says in an email.

She points to the case of Dr. Ming Lin, who was fired from St. Joseph Medical Center in Bellingham shortly after criticizing the hospital’s response to the coronavirus in the Seattle Times.

Even when employees tell the truth, she says, if they’re accused of “disparaging” hospitals, the hospital system can consider that grounds to fire them.

“We can definitely fight for them, but it can be a lengthy process,” Schubert says.

But Hopkins, with SEIU 1199NW, expresses a lot more swagger about her union’s ability to protect employees who tell the truth about safety concerns.

If a member tells them they’re being threatened by their employer for speaking out publicly, she notes, “we will go after the employer.”

“I don’t think they will mess with 1199,” Hopkins says.

ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

In a lot of cases, however, this crisis hasn’t stressed the relationships between unions and management. It’s done the opposite.

“People have really pulled together,” says Gordon Smith, with the local chapter of the Washington State Council of County and City Employees. A few months ago, the union was clashing with Spokane County Detention Services over hiring strategies and

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Not everyone shares Lawson’s enthusiasm for organized labor.

“Our brothers and sisters in the union have reported stories of harassing phone calls from the so-called ‘Freedom Foundation,’” Lawson wrote in a letter sent Friday to the Freedom Foundation, a network of state groups dedicated to impeding the Democratic donor base by weakening unions. “Firefighters know that we are stronger when we stick together and that your divisive propaganda is harmful.”

Peter Starzynski, director of the pro-union Northwest Accountability Project group, cites a Freedom Foundation robocall recently sent to a Clark County firefighter.

“Have you considered opting out of your union during these times of uncertainty?” the transcript of the call reads. “This is a sure-fire way to increase your take-home pay and keep more of your money in your pocket where it belongs during this economic crisis.”

That sort of rhetoric isn’t unusual: Since the Supreme Court ruled in 2018 that public sector employers can’t be forced to pay union dues, the Freedom Foundation, an explicitly anti-union group, has been on a campaign to persuade union workers to opt out.

But now, they’ve gone further: The Freedom Foundation has asked the governors of the states they operate in —Washington, Oregon, California, Ohio and Pennsylvania — to use their emergency executive powers to suspend union dues entirely for three months.

Workers and businesses have been sacrificing, Freedom Foundation spokesman Maxford Nelson argues, and so should unions.

“A lot of the major unions have cash reserves out there that would allow them to operate for a year, even if they lost all revenue and income today,” Nelson says.

Nelson argues that it can be a complicated process for individuals to opt out of paying union dues — and that even if governors halted union dues, “if somebody really wanted to voluntarily support their union, they could continue to do that.”

Starzynski, however, doesn’t believe that the Freedom Foundation honestly believes that their request will persuade a prounion governor like Washington state’s Jay Inslee to ban union dues. He says it’s nothing more than a PR stunt intended to snag more donations.

“It keeps them afloat in right-wing circles and makes their funders think they’re doing work,” Starzynski says. “They’re exploiting the pandemic to further a political mission that is dictated by out-of-state billionaires. It’s shameful.” n danielw@inlander.com

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bargaining tactics.

But right now, with the threat of coronavirus flooding into jails and prisons, he says that the county and the union immediately launched into collaborative brainstorming sessions, drawing up plans for everything from slashing the jail population to “taking the temperature of everyone who enters the facility.”

Similarly, when the Inlander talked last year with Tim Archer, president of the union that represents Spokane firefighters, he had plenty of complaints about Spokane Fire Chief Brian Schaeffer.

But today he praises Schaeffer’s eagerness to bring in organized labor to the discussions about the coronavirus immediately, and says the station was an early leader in taking measures to keep employees safe.

“It might make for boring news,” Archer says. “But we’ve been working very harmoniously with our fire administration.”

Dennis Lawson, president of the Washington State Council of Fire Fighters, says fire unions are trying to be intentionally modest as they ask for changes.

“We’ve really told our members not to take advantage of the situation,” Lawson says. “We’re not trying to politicize a virus that’s actually killing people.”

Lawson says firefighters are not pushing for hazard pay — though he’s not objecting to those who do. After all, he notes, firefighters have always dealt with hazards. That’s why they call them firefighters.

“This is what we do,” Lawson says.

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NEWS | EDUCATION

Invisible Children How local schools are trying to reach the most unreachable students during the pandemic

BY WILSON CRISCIONE

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ince she can’t see her kindergarten students in the classroom, Monica Lively has tried to check in with them in other ways: Emails.

Calls. Texts.

About half of her roughly 20 Logan Elementary students regularly respond to her and engage with online learning, she says. But a handful respond only occasionally. And the last few? They respond rarely, if at all.

“So many of our families at Logan, honestly, are struggling, even before this,” Lively says.

“They’re struggling to get food, pay bills, and may not be interested in getting their kiddo into some online learning platform.”

As the coronavirus crisis has forced classrooms online, schools now face the monumental challenge of providing virtual learning access to every student. Thousands of laptops have been distributed to families from Spokane to Coeur d’Alene. But still some students aren’t logging online for school, even as districts begin to teach new content and hand out grades.

Spokane Public Schools Director of Student Services Jodi Harmon acknowledges that the district isn’t entirely sure yet how many students aren’t engaging with online learning, though more data should be available soon. But at Rogers High School, Principal Lori Wyborney guesses that more than a quarter of students either haven’t engaged with a virtual classroom or haven’t been heard from since school shut down.

That’s despite an “all hands on deck” approach to finding students, including calling, texting, emailing and home visits, she says.

For local schools, finding students and making sure they have basic needs met has become a top priority. And many have gotten creative in how they find students: Spotting them at food drives, visiting homeless shelters, or teaming up with police for wellness checks.

“We know if they’re in crisis, the education is going to stop,” says Harmon.

But knowing how they’re doing has only become more difficult for teachers like Lively.

Usually, she can check on those students who are in crisis in class each day.

Not anymore.

“The part that keeps you awake at night is thinking about the families that aren’t reaching out,” Lively says. “Because those are probably the ones that need us the most.”

BASIC NEEDS

As soon as Madeline Sells learned that school

Grant Elementary School Counselor Madeline Sells. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO buildings would be closed for the foreseeable future, she made a list of students who might become “invisible.”

Sells is a school counselor at Grant Elementary, where 86 percent of the students are considered low-income by the state — one of the highest rates in Spokane. She was especially worried about students who are homeless, students still learning English, and students in special education programs. Those are the ones who could easily fall through the cracks.

“I’m concerned about that inequality for my families,” she says.

So Sells has done everything she can to get in touch with them. She made a spreadsheet that notes when she talked to each kid. Her goal is to eventually connect with every student at the school — more than 350 of them — at least once before the summer. But every day, she has teachers ask for help finding more students who have been out of touch for a while.

Sometimes, it helps to have a relationship built up. Sells says one student is staying with a grandparent who Sells used to speak to on a daily basis. But all of the sudden, Sells stopped hearing from her.

“I thought, ‘I bet this family needs toilet paper. I’m just going to show up to give her toilet paper,’” Sells says. “She wasn’t offended, she was happy to see me and was like, ‘Yeah, we do need that.’ That’s why she hadn’t responded, they were trying to get their basic needs met.”

In order to get a student to a virtual class, some families must show extraordinary resilience.

Sells says she knows some who are living in cars in front of the school. Some are in shelters.

“This one particular family, it’s amazing. This mom is still getting her child on to team meetings and to do classwork. But every day they don’t even know where they’re staying,” Sells says.

The day school buildings closed down, there were more than 1,000 homeless students in Spokane Public Schools, says Sarah Miller, homeless liaison for the district. She says she sent an email to each one, asking if they were safe, and if they need help accessing food or educational resources.

“Out of that, I’ve gotten about 60 responses back,” Miller says.

The school district has distributed more than

5,000 laptops to families, including at the Union Gospel Mission crisis shelter, Open Doors and Catholic Charities’ Rising Strong warming center. But laptops are one thing — many families don’t have the Wi-FI access to use them for school.

That’s a challenge the Central Valley School District has faced, too, says Leslie Camden Goold, a school social worker there.

“There’s a lot of fine print when it comes to getting a person Wi-Fi or internet access at their home,” she says. “We’re kind of at the whim of those internet businesses to get that running.”

Camden Goold says Central Valley has 418 students who are considered homeless, and many of those may be in bad situations or in bad environments.

“I’ve learned how important it is to have school in session to have all those people around a student who can notice if they’re not here or not engaged,” she says. “And now we’re trying to do this virtually, and it’s really difficult … that direct contact is so important.”

GRADING THE GAP

On Monday, Spokane Public Schools rolled out its plan for how learning will continue for the next couple months, as the statewide school closure has been extended. Students are expected to check in virtually often. They’re expected to complete their assignments, and those assignments will be graded.

The message is clear: Learning must continue.

“The learning matters, and we’re going to encourage teachers to give feedback when appropriate, and grade when appropriate but consider extenuating circumstances for students,” says Adam Swinyard, Spokane Public Schools associate superintendent for teaching and learning.

As for the students who can’t be reached, it’s up to teachers to decide when it’s appropriate to grade students, Swinyard says.

And that can be difficult. On the one hand, teachers want to prevent students from regressing like they often do over the summer.

On the other, how can you grade a student who’s more focused on surviving at home than logging in for homework?

Lively, the kindergarten teacher at Logan, fears the longer online learning is necessary, the more inequities there will be exposed between low-income families and affluent ones. She was hoping to use the months left to catch some of her kids up.

“There are some kids who are going to be resilient and who can bounce back,” Lively says. “But I think it will probably show in their learning and their achievement probably for years to come.”

In Central Valley, the district says about 45 percent of students are consistently engaging with online learning. Students learning English have been more difficult to reach, says Kristin Day, an English Language Development specialist for Central Valley School District.

“We’re challenged with some of our recently immigrated families and refugee families to help them navigate getting access to the internet,” Day says. That’s why CV has bilingual specialists to make sure their needs are being met, and they’re trying to develop play- and project-based games to help parents.

Even if students are checking in with other teachers, they may not for certain classes at the high school level. Erin Ruehl, a teacher at Shadle Park High School, says 70 percent to 80 percent of the students in her business and marketing classes haven’t responded to her yet. She wonders if some of them thought they didn’t need to since grades didn’t matter until now, or if they’re focusing on core classes instead.

“Now that the district has published a clear, structured communication schedule for secondary students with specific expectations, I think we will see a stronger engagement rate from students,” Ruehl says.

Henry Seipp, a teacher at Shadle who also teaches at Spokane Virtual Learning, an online program run by the district, expects schools to adjust to online learning eventually. The key is reaching students — even the ones who don’t want to be right now, the ones who might easily fall through the cracks.

“That’s hard,” he says. “But our job is to make the cracks that students can fall through tiny, and filled with spackle.” n wilsonc@inlander.com

We’re Spokane. We’re not about to let coronavirus change who we are.

Sure, we’re doing everything we can to keep friends and neighbors safe. But we’re also going above and beyond. We’re ordering takeout from local restaurants and bars. Shopping online with local retailers. Checking in and helping, rather than checking out and complaining. Now, more than ever, it’s time to Support Spokane.

Learn more at: dowtownspokane.org/support-spokane

May First Friday has gone virtual, visit firstfridayspokane.org to experience art in downtown from your home. downtownspokane.org

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 13

JEFF DREW ILLUSTRATION

14 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

S

‘I’ve Got Nothing to Hide’ The apps and devices you use are conducting surveillance with your every move

By Samantha Wohlfeil

ure, you lock your home, and you probably don’t share your deepest secrets with random strangers. And if someone knocked on your door and asked to know when you last got your period, you’d tell them to get lost.

Yet, as a smartphone user, you’re likely sharing highly personal information with total strangers every minute — strangers whose main focus is to convert every element of your personality into money. Click here. Vote for this candidate. Open this app again. Watch this ad.

Buy this product.

We’ve been giving out our private information in order to use convenient, fun and largely free apps, and we’re only now understanding the true costs.

Would you mind if an app that you specifically told not to use your location tracked your real-time movements anyway by pinging off nearby Bluetooth and Wi-Fi signals? What if the mobile therapy app you use to get counseling told Facebook whenever you’re in a session and, without using your name, told an advertising firm the last time you felt suicidal?

Or, what if there was a global pandemic, and a company you’d never heard of revealed a map of cellphone locations showing that you hadn’t been doing your part to stay away from others and slow the spread of the deadly virus? Could that become enforceable? Could you be fined?

Publicly shamed?

While most Americans say they’re concerned about how companies and the government use their data, Pew Research shows they also largely feel they have little to no control over the data that companies and the government collect about them.

Tech companies often defend data collection, noting they remove users’ names to “depersonalize” the information. But privacy experts say that’s pretty much bullshit: Location data without a name can easily be pinned to an individual when you see that pin travel between a workplace and a home address. And even if your internet activity is shared under a unique number instead of your name, the goal is to intimately understand exactly who you are, what you like and what you’ll pay for.

The good news is, privacy advocates say that we can avoid a dystopian future where nothing is private. But to get there will take understanding the many ways that data and technology are already used to violate privacy and civil rights, and willpower among lawmakers to pass strong legislation that ensures actual consent to how our information is used, and penalties for those who abuse our trust. People also need to decide if the risks outweigh the perks.

“People don’t like it — they don’t like being known unless they’ve asked to be known,” says Jennifer King, director of privacy at Stanford University’s Center on Internet and Society.

“Companies are banking on the fact that if they keep pushing us towards that world, we’ll just say, ‘Yeah, it is really convenient.’”

Snowden revealed that the United States doesn’t just spy on the rest of the world, but also tracks its own citizens through the National Security Agency, which maps cellphone locations, reads people’s emails and monitors internet activities.

Then, about two years ago, former employees of tech company Cambridge Analytica revealed to lawmakers in the U.S. how they used Facebook surveys to secure thousands of data points about every American voter. Even voters who hadn’t signed up for the personality tests were captured in the scraped data, which was used to create highly targeted ads for “persuadable” voters to help Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. The company focused specifically on flipping persuadable voters in certain precincts, which then helped flip a few key states in his favor, as detailed in the documentary The Great Hack.

Now, as contact-tracing efforts are becoming widespread for novel coronavirus COVID-19, the world has gotten its latest reminder that many companies far less recognizable than Google, Apple, Amazon, Facebook or Microsoft are purchasing and using your location data all the time.

With much of the world sheltering in place for weeks in an effort to slow the spread of the deadly virus, people quickly turned their attention to places that weren’t taking aggressive measures. Florida, for instance, was playing host to spring break partiers in mid-March, and dozens who traveled to the beaches there later tested positive for COVID-19.

The extent of how those travelers could have spread the virus was shown in late March, when location data and mapping companies Tectonix GEO and X-Mode Social created a visualization showing how thousands of phone users who spent time on a single Florida beach traveled across much of the U.S. over the next two weeks.

Public reaction was mixed. Some found the map to be a helpful tool to show how easy it is for the virus to spread, underlining the importance of social-distancing measures. But others questioned how the companies obtained the data and called it terrifying.

The companies had gotten consent, they replied, noting that they comply with strict data protection policies in California and Europe. But many people don’t realize that when they allow an app to use their location for the service they provide, companies can also sell that location information to third parties who use it in “anonymized” applications like the kind that enabled the mapping.

“We definitely understand the concern, but we take every effort to ensure privacy in the data we use,” Tectonix GEO responded to one Twitter user. “All device data is anonymized and we only work with partners who share our commitment to privacy and security above all! It’s about using data to progress, not to invade!”

But users pointed out that if you can see all the stops a phone makes over the course of two weeks, it’s not truly anonymous.

FIRST OF ALL, WE’RE BEING TRACKED

CONTACT TRACING: COMING TO A PHONE NEAR YOU

At this point in the digital age, many Americans realize they’re being tracked in one way or another, whether by companies or governments, even if they don’t know just how detailed that tracking is.

Seven years ago, whistleblower Edward

In an effort to help public health officials start to reopen the economy, Google and Apple have both announced plans to create opt-in contacttracing tools for Android and iPhone.

The tracing tools would use your phone’s ...continued on next page

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 15

Created Oleksandr from the by Noun Project Panasovskyi

In an effort to help public health officials with COVID-19, Google and Apple have both announced plans to create opt-in contact-tracing tools for Android and iPhone. Users would be notified if they came in contact with an infected person.

“‘I’VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE,’” CONTINUED...

Bluetooth signal to ping off the devices of the people you’re around at coffee shops, grocery stores and other public spaces. Strangers’ phones would store a number that your phone sends via Bluetooth, and your phone would store the number from their phone. The numbers, which could be generated and changed by phones regularly, would not be shared with the tech companies, but stored in individuals’ phones for a few weeks. Then, if someone tests positive for COVID-19, they could send an alert from their phone that would ping phones that gathered their signal over the past two weeks to let people know they may have come in contact with someone who tested positive.

Without that type of tool and more extensive testing, experts warn that the only other way to prevent deaths from spiking again until there is a vaccine is to extend the stay-home orders that plunged more than 22 million Americans into unemployment in March and April.

While the tool could allow more people to return to their routines, the American Civil Liberties Union warns that cell phone location data isn’t perfect, and if it were used to enforce quarantines for those who’ve come into contact with the virus, phones would essentially be turned into ankle monitors.

“The challenges posed by COVID-19 are extraordinary, and we should consider with an open mind any and all measures that might help contain the virus consistent with our fundamental principles,” states an ACLU

response to the proposals. “At the same time, location data contains an enormously invasive and personal set of information about each of us, with the potential to reveal such things as people’s social, sexual, religious, and political associations. The potential for invasions of privacy, abuse, and stigmatization is enormous.”

MOBILE HEALTH CARE

Currently, the United States lacks comprehensive legislation to protect the vast amounts of personal data created on our devices every day, from the type of pictures you like to the number of steps you walk.

A patchwork of federal privacy protections outline rules for things like sharing healthcare data, banking information, credit reports and collecting information on children under 13. Plus, the Federal Trade Commission enforces consumer protection cases against companies using unfair or deceptive practices.

“But we don’t have what we think of as a comprehensive law, just a baseline law, that would apply to personal data, who collects it and why they collect it,” says Stacey Gray, senior counsel with the Future of Privacy Forum, a nonpartisan think tank that provides information on commercial privacy issues for policymakers.

For example, while health care information collected by your doctor and other health care professionals is protected by HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability

“Location data [has] ... the potential to reveal such things as people’s social, sexual, religious, and political associations.”

16 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

and Accountability Act), the law doesn’t apply to many technologies you may use to track your health.

“People are realizing the same or similar information can be collected from your Apple watch and other devices, which can see your health or mental state — that is not protected by HIPAA because it is not collected from a health care professional,” Gray says. “There are mobile apps that will let you track your pregnancy, your period, dieting.”

In 2019, advocacy group Privacy International published a report on period-tracker apps Mia Fem and Maya, showing that the apps were sharing information with Facebook and third parties. They shared things like whether users were keeping track of their menstruation or fertility, when they last had sex, whether they drank caffeine or alcohol, and when they last masturbated. Even users without a Facebook account had their data shared with the tech giant, the report found.

Similarly, the Jezebel website reported in February that the therapy app Better Help, which is heavily advertised on Facebook and offers therapy sessions with licensed health care professionals, tells Facebook when users are in the app, effectively sharing when they’re in therapy sessions. What’s more, the app passed along users’ intake forms by assigning them a number instead of a name — a method that’s approved by HIPAA, Jezebel notes — giving a research and analytics firm called MixPanel intimate detail on a user’s self-reported sexuality, beliefs and mental health.

“MixPanel is the kind of startup that’s omnipresent yet mostly invisible to people who don’t work in tech; it’s used by everyone from Uber and Airbnb to BMW,” Jezebel reports. “Its basic concession is producing monetizable data out of literally any human behavior: By tracking and

cataloguing people’s habits and desires, the theory goes, companies can figure out how to best encourage their users to open an app again and again.”

The implications of health-information sharing could go far beyond the apparent desire to target highly personalized ads. Employer health plans continue to evolve, with some offering health-tracking apps for employees, with the promise of a discount on their insurance for using the tools. However, privacy advocates warn that insurance companies could eventually charge you more based on your health behaviors, and your employer could see health details like when you’re trying to get pregnant or whether you struggle with certain health conditions.

IS MY PHONE LISTENING TO ME?

Many people who use social media have had the experience of opening an app and seeing an ad for something they were just talking about with their friends, followed by the odd feeling that your phone has been listening to you.

“People are convinced their microphones are being used or pictures being taken, but by and large those things generally aren’t happening,” explains Serge Engelman, the chief technology officer for App Census, a company that tests apps to see what information they collect, how they collect it and who they share it with.

Engelman also directs the International Computer Science Institute research lab at University of California, Berkeley, and explains that truly, advertisers know just enough about you to direct relevant ads your way.

“Most of what we see is tracking, it’s profiling, mostly by persistent identifiers,” he says.

A persistent identifier is a unique number that can be tied directly to your device, such as a number tied to your sim card, and another known as the IMEI, or the International Mobile Equipment Identity. ...continued on next page

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Now on Inlander.com: National and international stories from the New York Times to go with the fresh, local news we deliver every day APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 17

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You can think of that like a license plate for your phone, he says.

“By itself, the license plate number is a pretty meaningless piece of information, but if you start recording every place you see it, you can learn a lot about the user’s activities and preferences,” Engelman says. “That’s all made possible by linking that number to the user’s actions and activities. It’s the same way a cookie works.”

But unlike cookies, which similarly track your internet browsing but can be cleared from your browser history, there wasn’t an equivalent option to clear history for mobile phones until about 2013, he says. Now, Google and Apple allow users to reset their advertising ID, but if that is still collected alongside a persistent identifier like the IMEI, companies can still track your behaviors across platforms.

Through App Census, Engelman and other researchers have used Android phones to test tens of thousands of apps. What they found is that even after the changes meant to allow users to reset their temporary IDs, most apps were still sending the persistent identifiers with information they collected.

“The problem is, from the consumer standpoint, there’s no way of knowing when this is happening and when it’s not,” he says. “The average user is not writing their own version of Android to analyze what data is being sent.”

Companies typically defend this type of data collection — using advertising IDs or persistent identifiers — as they claim that the number “de-identifies” the information from a user’s name, and therefore protects their privacy.

“That’s utter bullshit,” Engelman says. “They collect these explicitly so they can augment information about you over time. They’re using it explicitly to identify you.”

You, the single 30-something woman who often buys shoes and cat litter. You, the 40-something married man who wants a riding lawn mower. You, the 60-year-old retiree with an open line of credit at a mid-level retail store who collects Coca-Cola memorabilia.

Entire companies are devoted to tying your depersonalized data with identifying information that can be found elsewhere, which many people don’t realize, Engelman says.

“The problem is, most regulatory agencies, at least in this country, are complaint-based. They rely on consumer complaints,” Engelman says. “How can you open an investigation based on consumer complaints when consumers don’t even know what’s happening?”

ARE PRIVACY POLICIES ENOUGH?

So how could people be more protected? The 2018 General Data Protection Regulation, or GDPR, in Europe requires that companies allow people to opt out of having their data shared, and that companies have a legal basis for collecting information.

But broad language in privacy policies often covers types of data sharing that users can’t fully comprehend, experts say.

“In the consumer area broadly there are like zero restrictions there,” says King, the privacy expert at Stanford’s Center for Internet and Society. “I can track you across multiple platforms, I can track your data and sell it, as long as I tell you in the policy, which people don’t read, and are not written to be read.”

The majority of Americans (79 percent) say they’re concerned about how companies use their data, yet the same Pew Research Center data from late 2019 showed that only about one in five Americans usually read through the privacy policies that grant companies broad use of their data.

King says she’s often asked what individuals can do to protect their privacy, but there’s very little you can do as one person to protect yourself against the biggest threats.

“It’ll probably require industry-level solutions or legislated solutions, as opposed to flipping some knobs on your cell phone. That’s the fundamental problem,” King says.

Plus, for users to opt-out, they need to know the companies that have their data, Engelman says.

“The dirty secret for that is the companies themselves don’t know who they’re sharing the data with,” Engelman says.

Advertisers collect information so dynamically, in the very moment that people are using apps, that many companies would likely have a hard time qualifying how

that data was shared, he says.

It’s important to recognize the limitations that exist for consumers, and push for informed consent, he says.

That includes knowing the full context of how the data you choose to share may be passed on. If a consumer agrees to share their location with a weather app, they likely only expect that location to be used to pull up their local forecast. Any secondary use of that location information should require consent, and not just fall under an umbrella privacy policy that no one is actually going to read, he says.

“What I would like to see is that people have enough information to make informed decisions,” Engelman says.

SMART ASSISTANTS AND THE INTERNET OF THINGS

Unlike concerns about smartphone listening capabilities, if you’ve bought a smart home assistant like Amazon’s Alexa or Google Home, you likely understand that on some level, the device needs to be listening in order to hear its wake-up command.

To have Alexa turn off your lights, or read you a recipe, the smart speaker needs to first catch the magic words that indicate you want her to do something.

But as smart assistants started rolling out in recent years, it wasn’t initially clear just how easily those devices would accidentally pick up audio they weren’t meant to hear, or that it would be listened to by other people.

After consumers complained of odd behaviors with Alexa, the most popular smart assistant, it was revealed that recordings captured by the devices are sent to Amazon, where employees listen for the sounds and phrases that may trip up the system in order to improve its accuracy. But as you can imagine, some recordings made in error captured snippets of private conversations and even people having sex.

“From a privacy standpoint, what a disaster,” says King.

It would’ve

Privacy advocates warn consumers that the default of most smart devices will involve the broadest possible sharing of their data.

18 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

been easier if Amazon had first asked people to opt in and share their recordings, explaining that they’d be used to make the system better, similar to when a computer program crashes and asks for permission to send an error report, she says.

Instead, the default setting remains that Amazon can use recordings to improve its service, but users now have the option to opt out.

As many other home devices become more connected, creating the so-called “Internet of Things,” other privacy risks are popping up.

Some smart TVs now include microphones and cameras that could be hacked by stalkers or the government to watch people in their living rooms and bedrooms. Less nefariously, most smart TVs collect every detail of what you watch to target show suggestions and ads.

Amazon’s Ring Doorbell security system widely shares videos with law enforcement if users agree, raising questions of how those images could be used for other purposes, like facial recognition. The company also shares user information with third parties, sending the full name, email address and number of devices a user has to the analytics firm MixPanel, according to a January report from the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), a nonprofit that fights for civil liberties. In 2019, hackers exposed vulnerabilities in the system by getting access to the cameras and using the built-in speaker to talk to children in their homes.

While many systems offer some way to opt out of their tracking, King notes that consumers should assume their devices will default to the broadest possible sharing of their data.

closed lips onto his face in order to try to find a match, says Jameson Spivack, a policy associate with the Georgetown center.

“You can see first of all, fabrication of evidence, and second of all, the racial implications of this thing,” Spivack says. “It’s really wild the kinds of things they’ve done.”

Importantly, face recognition gives government power they’ve never had before, Spivack says.

“In 2015, police in Baltimore County used face recognition on the Freddie Gray protesters to locate, identify and arrest people who had unrelated outstanding arrest warrants,” Spivack says. “This is a politically protected demonstration, and without the protesters being aware of it, the police were using facial recognition to identify people with completely unrelated warrants and target them from the crowd.”

The technology also struggles with accuracy, with issues in identifying people of color, women and younger people, he says. With no regulations to audit systems for accuracy, errors can persist.

Some states enter driver’s license photos into face recognition databases, while others only include mugshot photos.

When the Georgetown center researched how widespread databases were in 2016, they found that about 54 percent of Americans were included in at least one database, Spivack says.

“A majority of Americans are subjected to face recognition,” he says. “It’s very likely that has increased, but we have no way of knowing.”

Washington state passed facial recognition legislation this year that Microsoft has been pushing in other states around the country, Spivack says. The rule requires government agencies to write an accountability report before using the technology, have a policy for external information sharing and train officers in proper use.

The rule also requires a warrant for ongoing or realtime surveillance, but all other uses are allowed, which is troubling, Spivack says. Trying to identify someone with the technology constitutes a search, he argues, and should require probable cause.

“One way to think about this is if you’re in a face recognition database, you’re essentially in a perpetual lineup, you’re always a suspect who could come up,” he says. “A lot will say, ‘Well, I didn’t commit a crime.’ It’s not really about that. It’s more, ‘Does an error-prone, biased technology think you committed a crime?’ Then you have to worry.”

Until the kinks in the technology are worked out and proper protections of constitutional rights are codified, the center and other privacy rights groups are advocating that states implement a moratorium on the use of facial recognition.

“A lot will say, ‘Well, I didn’t commit a crime.’ It’s not really about that. It’s more, ‘Does an error-prone, biased technology think you committed a crime?’”

FACIAL RECOGNITION

Americans learned of another wide-reaching privacy overreach early this year, when the New York Times reported on a company called Clearview AI. Clearview had created a massive database of photos scraped from public posts on social media and across the web, in order to create a powerful facial recognition tool that allows users to find out who someone is, and even links back to the original posts.

The Times reported that the tool was being used by hundreds of law enforcement agencies, and was more comprehensive than any recognition tool created by the government or other Silicon Valley companies.

“The tool could identify activists at a protest or an attractive stranger on the subway, revealing not just their names but where they lived, what they did and whom they knew,” the Times reported, noting just a few of the potential implications of such a tool.

Face recognition by law enforcement is, for the most part, very loosely regulated, which leads to significant issues, according to research by the Georgetown University Center on Privacy and Technology.

In some cases, police departments have used photos of celebrities they claim look somewhat like a suspect in order to search for matches. In others, departments have uploaded composite sketches, which led to matches with people who looked far different from the eventual suspect connected with the crime, the center reports.

In one case highlighted in the center’s “Garbage In, Garbage Out” report, the New York Police Department wasn’t getting any matches with a photo of a black man whose mouth was wide open. So the department Googled “Black male model” and edited another man’s

MEANINGFUL LEGISLATION

Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation, which took effect in May 2018, is the strictest data protection policy in the world. It requires companies to inform users of what data will be collected, how it will be used, allow editing or deletion for some types of data, and on request, companies need to provide users with all the data they have on them.

Companies that don’t comply with those and other rules can be fined millions of dollars.

Many want to push for something similar or even more protective in America.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Samantha Wohlfeil covers the environment, rural communities, health care and cultural issues for the Inlander. Since joining the paper in 2017, she’s reported how the weeks after getting out of prison can be deadly, how some terminally ill Eastern Washington patients have struggled to access lethal medication, and how child marriage is still allowed in many states. She can be reached at samanthaw@inlander.com or 325-0634 ext. 234.

Currently, California is the only state to have passed a similar level of protection, with the California Consumer Privacy Act. This year, Washington state, home to tech giants Microsoft and Amazon, came close to passing an even more protective measure than California’s called the Washington Privacy Act, which would have required companies to conduct risk assessments and allow people to edit or delete their data.

But the measure failed when lawmakers couldn’t agree on how it should be enforced. One contingent wanted the state Attorney General’s office to be responsible for enforcement, while the other also wanted the right to private action.

Privacy advocates, including the American Civil Liberties Union of Washington, point out that the act was also full of loopholes, and it would have prevented local jurisdictions from passing more protective legislation.

“It was astonishing to see all the places where rights that were listed were circumvented by exemptions,” says Jennifer Lee, the technology and liberty project manager for ACLU Washington. “How can you say consumers actually have meaningful rights if they’re not enforceable and undermined by a laundry list of loopholes?”

While state legislation can fill an important vacuum in data protection laws, Washington state Senate Majority Leader Sen. Andy Billig (D-Spokane) says he thinks federal standards would better protect all citizens.

“While I think Washington is generally a leader in technology and consumer protection, and it would make sense for Washington to be a leader in this area, ultimately federal legislation would be the best so there’s one standard throughout the country,” Billig says.

As it happens, Washington politicians are also leading on the issue at the federal level. Sen. Maria Cantwell (DWashington) introduced the Consumer Online Privacy Rights Act (COPRA) with Democratic leadership in late 2019. The act would ensure, among other things, that people around the country have the right to: access their data and see how it’s being shared; control the movement of that data; delete or correct their data; and take their data to a competing product or service. It also provides a right to private action against violators.

But many who work in privacy say proposed rules like COPRA, and even the GDPR don’t go far enough because they require people to opt out instead of opting in.

Protective legislation requires two major questions to be answered, Lee says: For what purpose is your data being collected, and is it collected with your consent?

“You might not know how you’re hemorrhaging your data, or who has it, but when aggregated and combined with different data sets, that can really reveal a very intimate picture of your life,” Lee says. “And if it’s not adequately protected, it can be used to discriminate against anyone in critical decisions, like our health care, housing, education, or loans. It’s something everyone should be worried about.” n

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 19

LOCAL MUSIC

BEHIND THE LABEL

With a new compilation from his label CorpoRAT Records, Kris Martin gives his roster of local rockers a sonic platform

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

Meet Kris Martin, your main CorpoRAT.

20 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

YOUNG KWAK PHOTOS

RELATIONSHIPS

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hen he was putting together the latest compilation CD for his label CorpoRAT Records, Kris Martin had intended to hand out promotional discs at Boise’s Treefort Music Festival, where several artists from the Spokane label were scheduled to perform, and then officially release the album in April for Record Store Day. But plans change, and both events have been postponed in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Martin decided to put out the compilation anyway, because why not? Titled Stop Making Cents, the record is essentially a sampler platter of the talent that is currently releasing music under the CorpoRAT umbrella, and it should, Martin says, whet the appetites of music fans who haven’t had any live shows to go to.

“This gives people something to look forward to. This gives people something to support,” Martin tells the Inlander. “It’s new music, but people can do it on their own. It’s the perfect social distancing thing.”

In only a couple years, CorpoRAT has amassed a roster of six local acts: the psych-rock duo Indian Goat, punk quartet Itchy Kitty, surf-rock trio Bad Motivator, grindcore band thrpii (pronounced “therapy”), blues rocker Vanna Oh! and the hip-hop fusion collective Kung Fu Vinyl. They’re all represented on Cents, a 17-track collection that Martin says was inspired by similar compilations from indie-rock and punk labels — San Francisco’s Fat Wreck Chords, for instance, or the Los Angeles-based Epitaph Records — that he loved as a teenager.

Of course, Spokane doesn’t have the same clout as those cultural hubs, and Martin acknowledges that: “A lot of national touring bands skip us over. We’re the day off between Seattle and Boise.” But having a convenient sampling of Spokane’s scene in the form of a label compilation could, if it falls into the right hands, change all that.

“You don’t even need to be from Spokane to get what’s going on,” he says.

Martin, 38, did grow up here, graduating from University High School and getting a track scholarship that took him to the University of Oregon. His running career ended after he broke his hip, which also led to an opioid addiction, and after moving to California for treatment, he ended up staying there and working for the longrunning label Vanguard Records.

He moved back to Spokane with his wife about five years ago, and it was while he was working as a screen printer that he established the CorpoRAT brand, starting it on the side in a 1,000-square-foot garage. CorpoRAT became a label itself in early 2018 after Martin signed his former co-worker Garrett Zanol’s band Indian

Goat, and he turned it into a full-time job shortly thereafter.

Martin runs CorpoRAT as a one-man act, and he helps the label’s artists put together their packaging and artwork, produce and design Tshirts and other promotional items, and get them on bigger and bigger stages. It’s all about quality and consistency, he says: Let the public know your label puts out a good product, and they’ll keep coming back.

“That takes time, and it takes a little bit of faith in knowing that a band’s gonna be around in three years,” he says. “You’ve got to build an audience up who’s gonna buy those things.”

As for what he looks for in signing artists to the label, Martin says he doesn’t have a master list of conditions or qualities. But he does say that each of the artists under the CorpoRAT umbrella has an undeniable presence on stage, and that he’s drawn to that kind of electricity.

“All their music is killer, but I think they really shine when people get out there to a show and see them in person,” Martin says.

The new CorpoRAT compilation features six Spokane-area bands.

In the meantime, fans will have to settle for this new compilation, and Martin thinks of Stop Making Cents as a “statement piece” about the CorpoRAT label itself: It radiates the underdog spirit that has driven so many other similar independent labels.

It’s also “a love letter to the community,” he says. The CD package itself is a testament to that, with a cover image of the downtown skyline and shoutouts to some local businesses — including 4,000 Holes record shop and fashion label the Great PNW — on the back. When you peel back the shrink wrap and open it up, stickers and business cards for Spokane artists fall out.

And considering the CD’s title is a play on a famous Talking Heads concert film, it’s fitting that the inside sleeve features a mission statement-like quote from David Byrne: “You create a community with music,” it reads, “not just at concerts but by talking about it with your friends.”

“The people I work with, the bands I work with, the people I get to hug every time they come buy a shirt or just show up at a show and say ‘hi’ — that just sums it all up,” Martin says. n The CorpoRAT Records compilation Stop Making Cents drops Fri, May 1. Pre-orders are now being accepted at corporatrecords.com.

Advice Goddess OPENER SESAME!

I’m a single woman. I’d love to get into a relationship.

Often, when I’m at a bar, I see a guy I’d like to chat up, but I won’t even approach because I don’t know what to say.

Are there some pickup lines men love to hear? ­—Looking There are a number of lines men would love to hear from a woman — among them, “I’ve really enjoyed my drink, and now I’d like to enjoy you” and, “Don’t you have a AMY ALKON tattoo I should be licking?

However, there’s what men love to hear, and there’s what’s actually effective when you’re seeking a relationship that lasts long enough for you to learn to pronounce the guy’s name: “Is that Fred, like ‘Fred’?”

Evolutionary psychologist Maryanne Fisher and her colleagues researched which pickup lines, used by women on men, are most effective. “Effectiveness,” Fisher writes, “was defined as success in securing a phone number or agreeing to meet again.”

Pickup lines fall into three categories: “direct,” “innocuous,” and “flippant.” “Direct lines clearly convey interest” through unambiguous requests and flattering remarks, explains Fisher — for example: “Want to have a drink together?” “You have really nice eyes,” and “Can I have your number?”

Innocuous lines, on the other hand, “hide the intention of the speaker and act more as conversation starters.” Examples include: “Can you recommend a good drink?” “I’ve seen you before; do you work here?” and “Where did you get that tattoo? Did it hurt?”

Flippant lines involve humor — or, um, attempts at it, like an example Fisher references from previous research: “Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?” Another flippant charmer: “Is that really your hair?”

Fisher explains that, like innocuous lines, “flippant lines are theorized to protect the user from rejection, as they can disguise a failed attempt as a simple question or a joke.”

Unfortunately, both flippant and innocuous lines also seem to “protect” the user’s target from knowing that the purveyor is interested.

Fisher’s research, like previous research, found that men preferred direct pickup lines to the innocuous and flippant ones. This isn’t surprising. Men tend to be bad at picking up hints, and many are terrified of overestimating a woman’s interest and waking up to their name hashtagged with #MeToo. When a woman uses a direct pickup line, and especially when she spreads additional direct lines around in conversation, she’s telling a guy she’s interested in seeing more of him, as opposed to seeing whether she should Mace him.

Unfortunately, there’s some nuance to the Fisher team’s findings — what might be called (sorry!) beauty inequality. Direct pickup lines were preferred by men when the women using them were really attractive. Direct lines were less effective for less attractive women — except when they were scantily clad.

Also, men will tell you they love when women ask them out. (Of course they do. It’s like they’re standing on a dock fishing when, out of nowhere, a plate of perfectly cooked salmon flies out of the water and lands on the bench beside them.) Unfortunately, evolutionary psychology research suggests that for women, overt pursuit of men, like asking them out, is a risky strategy.

The research comes out of what evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers, in 1972, called “parental investment theory”: Because women have a high potential cost from any sex act — pregnancy and a kid to feed — they evolved to be the choosier sex, and men coevolved to expect female aloofness, especially from women with high “mate value.”

When women seem too eager, men tend to devalue them, seeing them as desperate or just hookup material.

Synthesizing Fisher and Trivers, my takeaway is that you should be unambiguous in showing interest in a guy — and ideally, repeatedly unambiguous. Use flattering remarks to make your interest plain, but stop short of highly sexual remarks, which are likely to mark you as hookup fodder, or asking a guy out. Your goal should be flattering a guy into understanding that you’re interested in him. This allows you to see whether he’s got real interest in you — enough for him to lay his ego on the line and hit you up for your number.

Do this regularly — being flirtatiously forward — and you should come to understand that you have the power to summon men into your life. Maybe not all the men you want, but more than you would have thought. This, in turn, should keep you from going all desperate — to the point where you seek out men you’d previously, um, overlooked... like that construction worker: “Hey, you! You in the hard hat! You had me at ‘Those boobs real?’” n ©2020, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 21

CULTURE | DIGEST

Head in the Stars

Lost in Space on Netflix might be just the thing to soothe your soul right now.

When facing impossible odds, look to the teamwork of space explorers for inspiration

BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL “The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff.

We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

— Carl Sagan

Y

ou know those cheesy framed pieces of wall art that make people groan, saying things like “Smile: you’re made of stardust?” I’m not saying it’s wrong to groan at them. Groan away. But when I took an astronomy class in college it blew my mind to learn that you seriously are made of the leftovers from stars. It took lots of massive gas clouds exploding with unimaginable power to create the heavier elements that make up our bodies, our lives. We literally wouldn’t exist without stardust.

It made me feel a little more connected with the universe, and added some deeper significance to that not-quite-knowable, beautiful twinkling sky that we look to with awe from a young age.

It’s not a stretch to see why space exploration stories would be interesting to me. But I realized recently that I often turn to books, TV shows and movies with a sci-fi bent particularly in times of stress, particularly when I can’t handle something dark. When I need hope, space stories are better than any other at helping.

Why is that? I’ve never really dreamed of going to space myself. I’m afraid of falling, so I imagine reentry would be terrifying. I also think I’d get claustrophobic in the tight confines of a space can hurtling toward another planet. There are a lot of things about space travel that I mostly want to admire from afar.

Why, then, do these stories of human ingenuity so inspire me?

At a basic level, space stories almost certainly remind us of everything we take for granted, from going to the bathroom and walking into the

22 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

next room without thinking about air pressure, to the very basics: food, water, air. Air, breathing, we do it without thinking. But in space, you have to think constantly about whether your air supply is going to last.

It’s a subtle slap to the subconscious: Be grateful.

But more than that, there’s nearly always an element of discovery and wonder woven in with some surprising and unforeseen dire circumstance that imperils the lives of the crew.

That, friends, is when the story highlights the core of the human spirit: teamwork in the face of mortality.

It illustrates the no-man-left-behind lengths that leaders will go to, the sacrifices that will be made in order to save a life, and the reliance on each other, even the people you really don’t care for.

And that part of the story almost always relies on the cobbled-together scientific knowhow of the crew. Science helps the crew survive.

Really, science made their survival in a vacuum possible all along. The expansion of our human understanding of the universe is at the core.

It makes sense why, in a time as scary as this, when a little-understood virus is sweeping the world and many people are being asked to sacrifice more than they’ve ever had to in their lives, when leaders are being looked to as we ask how they’re going to save as many as they can, that these stories would act as a beacon.

Just like the intentionally diverse backgrounds of a deep-space crew, humanity right now is looking to its scientists rushing to find a vaccine, its doctors and nurses working endless hours to save their patients, and the engineers looking to make better ventilators and masks.

Humankind is pulling together to beat a surprise “Oh shit!” moment that none of us saw coming.

We will figure out a way to seal the ship back up and continue the journey. It has already proven to be hard. But we can figure this out if we work together.

As we look for distraction, levity, inspiration and a reminder of our ability to overcome obstacles, here are a few of the space-themed stories I’d recommend: BOOKS: Artemis by Andy Weir; Leviathan Wakes by James S. A. Corey (basis for the Amazon TV series The Expanse); The Martian Chronicles

by Ray Bradbury; The Wanderers by Meg Howrey NETFLIX: Another Life; Lost in Space; Mars; Altered Carbon (OK, a stretch on this one, but there are spaceships and multiple planets!)

MOVIES: Interstellar; Sunshine (a thriller, FYI); Arrival n

HERE’S THE BEEF The latest project of absurdist comedy duo Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim is here, and it’s a doozy. Beef House parodies sitcoms of the 1980s and ’90s from inside the suburban home of Wareheim, a “stay-at-home husband,” and his distant wife Megan (Jamie-Lynn Sigler), a police detective.

Unexplainably living with the couple is Heidecker and three oddball, senior male friends collectively known as the “Beef Boys.” Shenanigans ensue as the Beef Boys’ adventures, earnestly set up as classic sitcom plotlines, devolve into cringey chaos and grotesque weirdness. Catch it Sundays on Adult Swim. (CHEY SCOTT)

THE BUZZ BIN

SANITY NULLIFIED Katie Crutchfield’s earliest recordings as Waxahatchee were lean and spare, the fuzzy transmissions of a pirate radio station cutting through static. Over the course of five albums, she has gotten a bit louder, dabbling in confessional singer-songwriter folk and full-throated rock, and now, on her new LP Saint Cloud, beautifully polished alt-country. Recalling Lucinda Williams or early Neko Case, she has found arguably her best and most confident sound yet, and the record ends up being a clear-eyed portrait of struggling through addiction and finally getting sober, and a testament to gritting your teeth and barreling past your regrets. (NATHAN WEINBENDER)

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST Some noteworthy new music hits online and in stores April 24. (Release dates are based on most recently available info.) To wit: DANZIG, Danzig Sings Elvis. The diminutive scare-monger doing tunes from The King is probably the perfect album to make you forget about a pandemic.

WHITNEY ROSE, We Still Go To Rodeos. This Americana ace gets better and better, and this album is further proof for country lovers.

LUCINDA WILLIAMS, Good Souls, Better Angels. Another chance to bow to one of America’s best songwriters. (DAN NAILEN)

Rachel and Taylor Gano are navigating the pandemic as new business owners.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

OPENINGS

Powering Through The pandemic shutdown hasn’t stopped some new, local food spots from opening, and even thriving

BY CHEY SCOTT

F

luffy’s Candy in North Spokane opened for the first time on March 16, the morning after Washington Gov. Jay Inslee ordered all restaurants and bars to close their dining rooms to prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Owners Taylor and Rachel Gano had been aiming for that date; it was the promise they’d made to many curious onlookers who stopped by the storefront on a busy corner of the Newport Highway while renovations were underway.

As a food-based business considered essential under subsequent stay-home orders, Fluffy’s has remained open

in the weeks since with limited hours for carry-out orders. Easter gave the candy shop a boost; Fluffy’s stocks imported specialty and bulk candy, as well as a house line of caramels, bon bons and marshmallows. To better adapt to the business climate they found themselves in, the couple quickly launched an online store (fluffyscandy. com) for easy pre-orders, also offering shipping.

“We’re going to keep on,” Taylor Gano says. “We have no business history and we don’t know how we’re being affected; it could be that we’re having great sales, or it could be terrible. We’re not the type of people to give up and stop.”

Gano emphasizes that Fluffy’s was developed, pre-pandemic, with high standards for food safety and hygiene. All bulk candy is packaged by employees wearing gloves in lieu of self-serve bins.

Since the pandemic, “A lot of people are more selfconscious of germs and how their food is handled,” Gano says. “This was already our plan; no one touches the unwrapped candy.”

While social-distancing restrictions continue, Fluffy’s is open Monday through Saturday from 2-6 pm for pickup and walk-in orders. The couple are the shop’s only ...continued on next page

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 23

FOOD | OPENINGS “POWERING THROUGH,” CONTINUED... two staff right now and say they’re optimistic that Fluffy’s will weather the current situation since they built their business plan without factoring in any profits until two years in.

Over the recent Easter weekend, Fluffy’s was a welcome option for several families who couldn’t find holiday sweets at over-shopped big box stores.

“We are providing a service for people to try and maintain a sense of normalcy,” Gano says.

I

n Spokane Valley, the mouthwatering aroma of smoked beef brisket began wafting from an unlikely location — a historic train caboose parked along busy Sprague Avenue — on March 31, signaling the arrival of SmokeRidge BBQ. In the weeks since, owners John and Julie Sherwood say they’ve sold out of food each day they’ve been open, and received encouraging calls from residents just to say they’re happy to see the business open amid current economic uncertainty.

“We of course got the closing order while we were in the middle of doing the remodel and making repairs to the entire train,” John Sherwood says. “So we decided we would stop spending money and time that way and go ahead and open for take-out.”

The community response has been so unexpectedly positive for SmokeRidge that the Sherwoods have hired six part-time employees to work with themselves and their two daughters. The restaurant is operating a 450-pound-capacity smoker to fill orders during the three days a week (Thursday through Saturday) it’s open for carry-out orders, Sherwood says.

The couple still plan to open for dine-in service once that’s allowed, having transformed the parked train’s 1914 Pullman passenger car into an Art Deco-inspired dining room, with the engine serving as a cozy cocktail bar and the caboose as the restaurant’s kitchen.

“Some of us didn’t have much of a choice, [the pandemic] threw us into a very unique situation,” Sherwood reflects. “It’s kind of scary and has been an up-and-down experience, but fortunately we’ve had such a great outpouring of support from the community.”

T

he pandemic has thrown a few hurdles in chef Ian Wingate’s way, too. He’d originally hoped to open his new restaurant, Outsider, just north of Riverfront Park and across the street from the Spokane Arena, by this spring. But he’s been slowed by some permitting delays, among other factors.

Yet the chef remains optimistic that come summer he’ll be up and running, while also feeling relieved that Outsider’s opening was delayed.

“It was almost a blessing that I wasn’t already open. A lot of people opened up right before this and I feel sorry for them,” Wingate says. “For me, I can now sit back a little and take some time to get open when all this calms down.”

Wingate says once a building permit for the

24 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

restaurant space’s remodel is approved, it should be about three months until a targeted opening, putting Outsider’s debut at mid to late summer.

By another stroke of luck, perhaps, Wingate had already planned for Outsider’s concept to be take-out friendly, offering a more casual breakfast and lunch menu of grab-and-go fare, like salads, smoothies, fresh-squeezed juices, sandwiches and espresso. Dinner will feature a more formal menu and service, but Wingate is also going to sell rotisserie chickens to-go, a meal he became known for back when he cooked at the long-defunct downtown bistro Harry O’s.

“Being by the park, we’re going to do takeout packages where you can get a meal and it’s set up so you can have a picnic in the park,” he explains. “I’m really happy my concept is in line with trends and what was coming up. I think we’ll be pretty prepared when we open up to have those tools in place.”

B

efore the coronavirus upended the restaurant industry, Jennifer Davis had aimed to open the Scoop’s new second location in Kendall Yards by mid-March.

ShopL O C A L

Now more than ever, your neighbors need YOU to help support their businesses. Never before have we seen so many industries get creative and provide new ways to serve their customers. So next time you are heading out for supplies, choose a locally owned business and feel proud that you are supporting our local economy.

We are in this together!

For our searchable spreadsheet, visit Inlander.com/ShopLocal To add your business to our growing database, visit Inlander.com/ShopLocalForm DOWNTOWN SPOKANE Audrey’s Boutique Boulevard Mercantile Cues Decorum Giant Nerd Books Greencastle Soap and Supply Mom’s Custom Tattoo & Body Piercing Mountain Lakes Brewing Co. reSkued Soft Paws Pet Spa The Bike Hub The Tin Roof Whiz Kids Toy Store

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Gardening HAS NOT

The Scoop’s Jennifer Davis.

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“For us, being so close to opening and then everything being shut down was a blessing, but also scary because how do you move forward?”

Davis says. “Do you abandon this other space, and where is the business?”

After much reflection, she decided to open the new store, in the former Brain Freeze location, by the end of this week. The Scoop is only selling pints of ice cream ($10 each) at both of its locations until gathering restrictions are lifted.

Customers can find rotating flavors on its Facebook page and should place pre-orders to ensure availability.

Davis says that since shops like hers had to cease traditional in-person service, the Scoop has actually seen its sales increase compared to this time last year. While she’s deeply thankful for the support, Davis says it’s bittersweet because so many of her friends in the industry are struggling.

“I’m so thankful and so grateful I’m able to pay my rent and keep most of my employees and expand,” she says. “But when so many people aren’t sure if they are going to ever be able to open again, or make it through the next week, it’s really hard.” n cheys@inlander.com

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River Park Square (509) 456-TOYS APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 25

STREAMING

JESUS QUINTANA, SUPERSTAR The Jesus is back. That’s not such a good thing.

John Turturro’s Big Lebowski spinoff The Jesus Rolls goes right into the gutter

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

M

aybe you’ve heard that somebody made a sequel to Joel and Ethan Coen’s beloved The Big Lebowski and that it focuses on libidinous bowler Jesus Quintana. But this new film, The Jesus Rolls, turns out to be as much a Lebowski sequel as those Stella Artois ads starring Jeff Bridges as the Dude. It’s an incidental spinoff, and a middling one at that.

It also wasn’t made by just any somebody: It’s a longin-gestation passion project for John Turturro, who wrote and directed and reprises his role as the mythic Jesus, complete with implacable accent, waist-length braids, purple bowling shoes and a matching acrylic nail on his pinkie. As the film opens, Jesus is getting out of prison for the umpteenth time, and he’s met on the outside by his buddy Pete (Bobby Canavale).

Within minutes, they’ve stolen a rich hairdresser’s sportscar and embark on an aimless joyride, shoplifting, breaking into houses and robbing people at gunpoint with no destination in particular.

Turturro lifted this shaggy plot from Bertrand Blier’s scandalous 1974 film Going Places, a French arthouse hit that stirred up controversy for treating rapists and criminals as loveable rogues in a breezy pastoral comedy.

Luckily, Turturro sidesteps most of the original film’s truly poisonous misogyny, though not all of it. It does, however, retain the distinctly European homoeroticism of its predecessor, a potentially provocative element that, like everything in this movie, dead ends.

As with most sketch characters that have gotten their

26 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

own films, the Jesus proves less amusing the more time we spend with him; his relatively short screen time in the Coens’ original film likely contributed to his cult status in the first place. This new film’s tenuous connection to Lebowski is most likely the reason it has been released, but it’s also its biggest stumbling block, because it creates expectations that Turturro simply can’t meet.

IS IT WORTH STREAMING? Although it might be a worthwhile curiosity for Lebowski completists, you’re better off watching the original film for the millionth time.

Available as a 99-cent rental on YouTube and Amazon Prime

LABOR PAINS

For more than five decades, British director Ken Loach has explored broad political issues by way of small-scale, personal stories, with the plight of the U.K.’s working class at the top of his list of concerns. I’m tempted to say that no other filmmaker is more suited to the current state of world affairs, but I’m afraid his work has been and likely always will be relevant.

Loach’s latest, Sorry We Missed You, is another grim march through the Sisyphean task of trying to get out of poverty, and it’s in the same class as his Riff-Raff (1991), about the dangerous living and working conditions of a hardscrabble construction crew, or his Palme d’Orwinning I, Daniel Blake (2016), about an ill man fighting to receive medical benefits.

Here, his microscope lands on a middle-class married

couple named Ricky (Kris Hitchen) and Abbie (Debbie Honeywood), who have two children. The film begins with them making a difficult trade-off: They’ll sell Abbie’s car so that Ricky can buy a van, which he’ll need for his new job delivering packages for a major shipping company. Abbie, an in-home caregiver, will now rely on public transit to get from one client’s house to another.

They’re both independent contractors, essentially, at the behest of corporations that expect them to work at superhuman speeds and yet offer none of the benefits of genuine employment.

Ricky’s job proves to be a series of small indignities — bathroom breaks prevent him from meeting his quotas, so his colleagues give him a plastic bottle to piss in — and a few understandable slip-ups eventually prove irreversible. So there is something of a narrative arc, but it’s less important than the small moments realized by Loach, his regular screenwriter Paul Laverty and his mostly unknown cast.

This is really a film about routine, about being economically unmoored, about social systems that operate under the guise of helping the disenfranchised while willfully leaving them behind. And yet it’s also about the importance of empathy, and Loach finds tenderness and humor in between some staggeringly emotional lows.

Sorry We Missed You is a downer, to be sure, but it’s also a deeply humane film from a deeply humane filmmaker.

Maybe that’s what we need right now.

IS IT WORTH STREAMING? It’s an excellent film, but Loach’s work is famously difficult, and this is no exception. As unemployment numbers skyrocket, Sorry We Missed You has become an even more startlingly timely story, and it’s not likely to make you feel much more hopeful.

Sorry We Missed You is available as a digital rental through the Magic Lantern at magiclanternonmain.com. n

Samaritans (lady and pitbull walker) Kid- I really hope this just end up being fun story for you to tell. Hope the adults in your life are solid and you are being taken care of and well advised.

HIGH BRIDGE PARK ATV RIDER 4-1520 Things are changing so rapidly theses days but I’m sure High Bridge Park has not become an ORV park.

We saw you taking advantage of the current lock-down to enjoy a Quad ride through the park. I am however not shocked, Spokane has the highest population of people with “ I am the most important person in the world� syndrome of any U.S. city. Now is the time to unite as a society, it is not the time to pick and choose which laws to follow.

I SAW YOU BAPTIZED ON GOOD FRIDAY I had the pleasure of my ol man baptizing on Good Friday. I saw you really for the first time. So here’s my I saw you to our lord Jesus Christ. It was the most magical meeting I have ever encountered.

know where the trash accumulates. Do the right thing! Our city is too beautiful to leave trashed. City Hall, please pay attention!!!

RED MINI COOPER 4/20 Gonzaga Starbucks drive thru. I was in no hurry so i waved for you to go ahead of me

“

slashed some tires on a car. The handling of the situation was very very impressive. The dude did that because some lowlife stole his friends car and he was trying to get it back for his friend. Me and my friends were so impressed by the handling of the situation by Law Enforcement that it com-

OUTRAGEOUS WATER BILLS We live in a 3bd 2 bth house in the city and our PUD WSG averages $250 a month and we don’t even drink it. We buy 40 gallons of drinking / cooking water from refilling stations. We don’t have a yard or a pool and we don’t wash our cars at home. Is this normal?�

You are doing the best job in helping us stay healthy all while putting your own health on the line. Thank you all so much!

�

CHEERS EVERY DAY HEROES To the man in front of me at n.foothills yokes on 4/18 around 510 pm you offered to pay the $49 the people in front of you were short, it’s people like you that are gonna get us threw this craziness so Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity

COMMON SENSE SAVE LIVES! I saw you in People’s Park last week laying face down on the bike path on the far side (North) of the bridge. At first I thought you were just taking a sunny nap on a beautiful spring day catching some rays. It looked casual because a few people had just walked past you and your useless friend. Lucky for you that i’m not as useless as your buddy and not so scared of the Corona that I would just walk/ride around your broken head traumatized body (throwing up, seizing, heaving breathing) in fear of only having a 99 percent chance of surviving the virus if I caught it from you. So let me get this straight, the moral/ ethical high ground is practicing social distancing rather than helping a kid who has life threatening injuries? Take off your masks Spokane, make the 911 call and stick your Corona fearing virtue signaling heads up your own candy asses.

P.S Cheers to Spokane fire and their super fast response. The two good

GARBAGE CLEAN-UP Cheers AND Jeers. Yay to the city for all they do to help the downtrodden! They do a lot. Thank you. However, for years I have been asking for garbage cans in areas around Peaceful Valley, like the Cedar Street stairs and at the east end of Red Band Park (also known as Glover Field), but to no avail. These areas are constantly trashed. We need garbage cans in these areas. How hard is that to do? Though some people will not use a garbage can, even if it is in front of them, others will. At least give them the opportunity. And some of the neighbors who use these areas are happy to pick up the trash when they pass through, if they have some place convenient to put it. If I was mayor I would want a clean city - not just for some, but for all neighborhoods. You

and you graciously paid for my order!

I, like many others, lost both my jobs and then had someone side swipe my car and flee. You made my week if not month! Thanks for reminding me that not everything is bad.

GOLD PICK-UP To the person driving the giant gold pick-up with the patriotic plate, drifting into my lane on Riverside downtown without any signal when you noticed the left lane only turned left. I layed into my horn for like 3 or 4 seconds as if you were putting me into horrible danger. But really you weren’t, we were going like 15 mph and I realize now I was being an a******. It was a beautiful day and I had just gotten free cookies from Subway. I could have just let you in and I felt really bad afterwards. The world doesn’t need anymore negativity right now. Plus downtown streets can be hard to navigate. I’m really sorry, I hope someone else made you smile that day.

ANGELS IN UNIFORM The other day at my apartment complex in the Valley.

The police arrived because someone had called them because some dude

SOUND OFF

1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,� not “j.smith@comcast.net.�

pelled me to write this. Thank you all who protect and serve us. You should get paid more for what you do. God bless.

TO ALL THE NURSES AND DOCTORS A big cheers to you all. You are doing the best job in helping us stay healthy all while putting your own health on the line. Thank you all so much! God Bless you all for being so selfless & having such big hearts. You are all truly Angels on this Earth.

JEERS COMPROMISED COMPLAINER Sweetie, it’s not that people don’t give a f*@k, it’s just that you would always find something to complain about.

COVID is just your convenient scape goat currently. I’m sure at “19, 20 21� you weren’t doing much better. I can’t say you’re setting the best example victimizing yourself and trying to make others feel small. Turns out virus or not, being a control freak still doesn’t work.

TACTLESS BIKERS Gonzaga may be closed, but the Logan neighborhood is still here. Several essential businesses are still open, several more are trying to make a living online.

On Sunday morning when you were blasting past, at least three churches’ online services were interrupted by your excessively loud motorbikes.

During the work week, several of us are trying to participate in meetings from home. We can hear the roar of your sexual insecurity from inside our homes with all the windows closed.

Please go advertise the inadequacy of your masculinity on some other street than Hamilton. n

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS T W A I O H S N R O T H D B F F A R U G T E T R Q U O S U R P E E K A N T O N T E S I I N E N S L G E

N A K E D A T T E N T I V E

S T P E O T P O T H K A A S N A T I W E E R S I Y F G S O L I G O P S O

H E D G E O O Z E C H A R M

O E D S S A S E L A M O H A R O A T B R R I N M A R E N O R O O Y M I A M A H A M A C A S P

B E A R M A R K E T S

I N S T O R E S N O W

N O S E N S E D E E

I L L D I A I T Z

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

APRIL - MAY 2020

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APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 27

CONSUMERS

Dealing with It Cannabis shops up their game to keep customers and employees safe during COVID-19

BY WILL MAUPIN

P

eople’s habits have been changing in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, which has proven to pose a threat to not just health, but financial stability as well. Maybe you’ve cut back on your trips to the grocery store in an effort to avoid others. Or perhaps uncertainty about income has you clipping coupons.

Little changes like those help flatten the curve for us all while providing a sense of security for ourselves. We can apply them to our cannabis habits as well.

If you’ve been to a dispensary lately, you’ve no doubt seen some of the obvious changes that have been made on the business side of things. Budtenders now wear masks and floors are taped off in six-foot sections.

Those aren’t the only things that are helping consumers navigate the world of cannabis in the time of coronavirus, though.

From distance to discounts, there are more ways than ever to responsibly purchase cannabis.

Online ordering is perhaps the cannabis industry’s greatest tool to help combat the spread of coronavirus.

Cannabis website Leafly maintains a thorough and regularly updated menu for most dispensaries around town, from which you can place a pick-up order for almost every product available. This allows customers to browse products virtually rather than in person, lessening the amount of time spent around budtenders and fellow customers.

“Right now we have a big focus on keeping our cus-

An employee wearing a protective mask at Cannabis & Glass. tomers healthy,” says Austin Hicks, purchasing admin at Cannabis & Glass. “We’re getting people out [of the store] within minutes.”

It’s not just about convenience or safety, though.

Many stores are incentivizing online ordering with discounts, helping protect both the health and wealth of the customer.

For Cannabis & Glass and Smokane, that has meant instituting a 10 percent discount for online orders for at least the duration of the crisis. At Lucky Leaf it’s a 25 percent discount, but only if you spend $25 or more.

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28 INLANDER APRIL 23, 2020

BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 Initiative 502 and Senate Bill 5052). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington state, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects; there may be health risks associated with its consumption, and it may be habit-forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Keep out of reach of children. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

ADAM SCHLUTER PHOTO

Don’t overlook dispensaries just because they aren’t currently offering an online discount, though, especially if you’re concerned about keeping money in your bank account. Take Cinder, for example, which has no online discount. Every day of the week they put a specific category of items on sale with at least a 15 percent discount.

The “wax Wednesday” deal on concentrates packs a stronger punch with a 25 percent discount.

Some of these deals are new, brought on by coronavirus, while others are long-running. Regardless, they’re more important and helpful than ever. n

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For USE only by adults 21 and older. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.

APRIL 23, 2020 INLANDER 29

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BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 Initiative 502 and Senate Bill 5052). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington state, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects; there may be health risks associated with its consumption, and it may be habit-forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Keep out of reach of children. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

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ACROSS 1. He said “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest” 6. Did stable work 11. Recycling ____ 14. “Did you just see that?!”

16. Thompson of “Thor: Ragnarok” 17. He co-wrote “Heroes” with Bowie 18. He said “A painting is not a picture of an experience; it is an experience” 19. ‘50s Ford flop 20. Doofus 21. The Pistons, on scoreboards 22. Org. for Mickelson and McIlroy 23. Death, in Venice 25. #1 bud 4 life 28. Words with math or honors 30. He said “And then I read this script called ‘NCIS’ ...”

31. Cut ____ (dance) 33. Snake in “The Jungle Book”

63. He said “Wait a minute ... If Luke is Princess Leia’s brother, does that make me royalty?”

67. Half of nine?

68. Vim’s partner 69. Maine’s ____ National Park 70. Part of XL: Abbr.

71. ____ salts 72. He said “I swam my brains out” Down 1. The Blue Jays, on scoreboards 2. Start of many a “Jeopardy!” response 3. Clock setting east of Eastern: Abbr.

4. How many TV shows are shown nowadays 5. In the flesh?

6. ‘90s supermodel Seymour 7. Not give a definitive answer 8. Mount near Olympus 9. Suffix with Japan or Sudan

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52 57 61

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10. Black-and-white companion 11. Down times on Wall Street?

12. Enticement in some TV ads 13. What gibberish makes 15. “The Chosen” novelist Chaim

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34. Crunchy, healthful snacks 35. Prefix with -hedron 37. “Edda” author ____ Sturluson 39. Riddle-me-____ 40. Keyboard symbols ... or this puzzle’s theme 43. Big ____, California 44. Do some self-grooming 45. Incessantly 47. Impatient gift recipients 49. Suffix with ranch 51. Native Nebraskan 52. He said “O Cleopatra, I am not grieved to be bereft of thee” 53. Texter’s “If this wasn’t on your radar ...”

55. Ingrid Bergman’s homeland: Abbr.

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24. Earth, e.g., in poetry 25. Animal that uses echolocation 26. Visiting regularly 27. It’s used for what’s to come 29. Samples

30. Maim or mar 32. Miracle-____ 34. Ill-tempered 36. All ears 38. Play it like George Clooney, perhaps 41. Not right 42. Pooh pal 43. Cocker ____ 46. Ruby of “A Raisin in the Sun” 48. Some boxing wins 50. Midwestern birthplace of Malcolm X 53. “I” pad?

54. Apples since 1998

57. Obfuscates 59. “Do I need to draw you ____?”

62. Nurse in a bar 64. Ugandan dictator Amin 65. On 66. ____-Boy

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