The College Hill Independent V.27 N.9

the college hill independent November 22, 2013 : Volume 27 Issue 9 a Brown-RISD weekly

managing editors David Adler, Doreen St. Félix, Ellora Vilkin news Simon Engler, Joe de Jonge, Emma Wohl metro Megan Hauptman, Rick Salamé, Kat Thornton arts Becca Millstein, Grier Stockman, John White features Lili Rosenkranz, Josh Schenkkan science Golnoosh Mahdavi, Jehane Samaha SPORTS Tristan Rodman interviews Drew Dickerson literary Edward Friedman EPHEMERA Molly Landis, Ka-

THE indy volume 27 #9

tia Zorich OCCULT Julieta Cárdenas X Lizzie Davis list Claudia Norton, Diane Zhou design + illustration Mark Benz, Casey Friedman, Kim Sarnoff Cover Editor Robert Sandler Senior editors Grace Dunham, Alex Ronan, Sam Rosen, Robert Sandler Staff WriterS Alex Sammon, Maya Sorabjee STAFF ILLUSTRATORs Andres Chang, Aaron Harris web Houston Davidson COPY Mary Frances Gallagher, Paige Morris Cover Art Robert Sandler MEGA MvP Casey Friedman P.O. Box 1930 Brown University Providence, RI 02912 & theindy@gmail.com & @theindy_tweets & theindy.org Letters to the editor are welcome distractions. The Independent is published weekly during the fall & spring semesters and is printed by TCI Press in Seekonk, MA. The Independent receives support from Generation Progress/Center for American Progress. Generation Progress works to help young people make their voices heard on issues that matter. Learn more at GenProgress.org.

news fROM THE EDITORS An old man plays a wooden quena flute on the 2nd Ave F train stop in the morning. 42,000 years ago mammoth ivory and the wing-bone of a griffon vulture were fashioned into two flutes, producing the oldest sound in the world. The tunnel is a cave. Commuters part around him, re-forming on his other side. The cave is a tunnel. The flutes were found beside ornaments and perforated teeth. A dejected misery sits on the steps with headphones.

Archaeologists will find these too. –EGS

2 Week in Review simon engler, joe de jonge & tristan rodman

7 Bad Boy Popes emma wohl

METRO 3 ‘Ello Guvnah

SCIENCE 9 DIY Herbalism claudia norton

ARTS 11 Adaptive Reuse maya sorabjee

13 Old Movies ann kremen

indy metro & friends

FEATURES

12 BRYTE Future

15 No Gods Allowed

sara winnick

houston davidson

HOLIDAY

LITERARY

5 Bound 2 the Bird josh schenkkan & sam rosen

5 Free Advice dr. corn u. copious & friends

OCCULT

17 Sexy Kale greg nissan

X 18 “Semiotics” lizzie davis

6 Horoscopes julieta cárdenas

e p h e m e r a : 14 molly landis & katia zorich

WEEK DOWN UNDER

by Simon Engler, Joseph de Jonge & Tristan Rodman Illustration by Mark Benz

You can read this as fast as you want, but you're still not going to catch up. It's already tomorrow in Australia, or whatever.

1 Koala, 2 Koala, 3 Koala, 4

URN, BABY, URN on november 21, the ashes—a cricket series between England and Australia—began in Woolloongabba, just south of Brisbane. It will end on January 5, 2014, and the winner will be likely determined some time between now and then. After 45 days, though, it may also still end in a draw.

Because of the impending 2015 Cricket World Cup, the series begins again after its last iteration concluded at the end of August. England won 3-0 in four games. They played the fifth match anyway, just to embarrass the Australians. It ended in a tie. Australia has historically dominated the The Ashes, but England’s victory marked a recent upswing for the Brits.

Australia’s cricketers now find themselves in an unfamiliar position: underdogs down under.

With their victory, England took home The Ashes—literal ashes, in an urn, the prize held by the victorious team. The prestigious urn is said to contain the remains of a cricket bail burned in 1882, when Australia defeated England so badly thatThe Sporting Times pronounced English cricket dead.

Cricket is dead. Long live cricket.

the koala sleeps for up to 20 hours a day. Don’t call it a bear. It’s a marsupial, and you know what that means, right?

Koalas are Australian; they come from the land down under.

If you aren’t singing that song1 in your head already, let’s not be friends.

Koala populations have been in fairly rapid decline.

Current data is limited, but reliable figures do exist for koala populations in the states of New South Wales and Queensland. From 1990 until 2010, the populations have gone down 33 and 43 percent, respectively. Rumor has it percentages always end in three down there.

People are worried about the present. How many koalas are there now? The Australian National Parks Association (ANPA) wants you for the Great Koala Count. The ANPA knows that you live in New South Wales or Queensland.

Armed with high-tech cell phones with built-in digital cameras, citizen scientists are taking to the forest to count the koalas. “We’re bringing koala conservation into the 21st century. We’re using a smartphone app, making it much easier for people to contribute,” says Dr. Grainne Cleary of the ANPA. Robert Close, adjunct professor at the University of Western Sydney is an expert in koala biology, rock-wallabies, bandicoots, water rats, Australian mammals, the ecology of the Georges River bushland, and the Galapagos Islands. He has some old-school advice for the Koala counters: “You look at tall trees, small trees, heavily foliated trees as well.” - JJ

+++ Cricket is difficult to understand. In short, the bowler pitches the ball to the batsman, who attempts to hit it where the fielders aren’t. The batsman attempts to run back and forth between the two wickets as many times as possible before the ball is returned. Players field positions such as gully, fine leg, back pad, mid-on, and slip. They break for lunch and again for tea. A day’s contest ends when the sun goes down.

This may sound too civil for American sports fans—boring, even. But when you play a team 25 times in 45 days, things get personal. Sledging—deriding the opposition—becomes the rule, not the exception. In 1989, Australian bowler Merv Huges taunted England’s Robin Smith: “You can’t fucking bat.” “We make a fine pair,” Smith quipped back, “I can’t fucking bat and you can’t fucking bowl.” The insults, like the game, carry themselves upright. Except when they don’t: Australia’s David Warner drunkenly punched Englishman Joe Root at a bar this summer.

1. “Do you come from a land down under?/Where women glow and men plunder?/Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?/You better run, you better take cover.”

-Men At Work

CROWE’S FEAT it’s unfair to single out Russell Crowe when writing about Australia. It’s like writing about Vegemite, or Christmas on the beach, or any other popular symbol of Down Under: too obvious, and not reflective of the depth and complexity of Australian culture.

Also, Russell Crowe was born in New Zealand and is not an Australian citizen.

So yes, singling out Russell Crowe in an article about Australia is both unfair and inaccurate.

But it’s so hard to hold back.

On November 6, Crowe served as the celebrity host at the opening of the National Library of Australia’s current exhibition, Mapping Our World: Terra Incognita to Australia.

The show is Australia’s most important cartographic exhibit in decades. It includes charts authored by James Cook, the first European to encounter Australia, in 1770; a world map

by Gerardus Mercator, whose 1569 projections are still found in cartography today; and even a 15th-century manuscript drawn from Ptolemy’s Geography.

Crowe was quick to express his enthusiasm for the exhibition.

“I do love maps. I mean seriously, I really do,” he said, in his opening remarks. “I love planning adventures, whether it be a car journey or a bike ride.”

Also on display at Mapping Our World is the Fra Mauro map, one of the most accurate world maps produced prior to the discovery of the Americas. Fra Mauro’s unveiling in Canberra, over which Crowe presided, was the map’s first display outside of Venice in its nearly 700-year history.

“I just love seeing how things relate to each other topographically, as well, you know?” said Crowe, who played a Roman gladiator in a 2000 Ridley Scott film.

“Some of the blokes in here may know exactly what I’m talking about,” Crowe continued, to a roomful of cartographers and librarians.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, it took years of planning to secure loans for the priceless artifacts shown in the exhibition. The Boke of Idrography, a map presented to Henry VIII in the mid-16th century by French cartographer Jean Rotz, was prominently displayed.

“The stories in this exhibition could very well fill the pages of very many screenplays,” Crowe said, in a three-piece suit. The lecture hall was standing-room only. – SPE

+++ Fighting through the winter, England does not want Australia to take back the urn. They seem to be quite concerned about this—Mike Gatting, England’s old captain, stayed up all night on Tuesday guarding the urn in its current resting place, Lord’s Cricket Ground in London.

Australia, though, hopes to turn their luck around. The entire series will be played on their continent, and they like their chances. Australian captain Michael Clarke laid it all out on Ashes eve: “Our job is to perform at our best and the result will take care of itself. The belief is there.” Old ashes still smoldering, it begins again. - TR

NovemBER 22 2013

NEWS █ 03 02

READY, SET, GO!

by Megan Hauptman,Rick Salame, Sam Lin Sommer, Hadley Sorsby-Jones, Kat Thornton Illustration by Casey Friedman

2014 Gubernatorial Candidates

it’s just under 12 months until the 2014 elections. With Lincoln Chafee’s announcement that he will not run for a second term, the seat is open for a new state leader. The four declared candidates so far—plus Raimondo, who is not yet official—are no newcomers to the Ocean State: among them we have two mayors, the state treasurer, the heir to an RI political legacy, and a local businessman. Meet the candidates and gear up for the marathon ahead.

GINA RAIMONDO

ANGEL TAVERAS Providence Mayor Angel Taveras’s official biography on the city website is written, like many of his speeches are spoken, in both Spanish and English: “Para dirigir a Providence hacia un futuro lleno de oportunidades para todos.” To direct Providence toward a future filled with opportunities for everyone.

The child of Dominican parents who came to the US in the 1960s, Taveras formally announced his campaign on October 28. “I’ve been able to achieve the American dream,” he said in a recent televised interview. The Providence mayor was born in Brooklyn but grew up in South Providence. He attended Providence public schools and went on to study at Harvard and then Georgetown Law. He practiced election law and litigation in Providence and served as a judge on the Providence Housing Court before running for mayor in 2010. That election, in which he won 82 percent of the vote, secured his title as the first Hispanic mayor of the city.

No mayor of Providence has successfully campaigned for governor since 1950. As mayor, Taveras is best known for his deft management of Rhode Island’s financial crisis. In early February 2012, Taveras announced that the city was facing bankruptcy, the result of an unexpected $110 million structural deficit left by his predecessor, David Cicilline. To fill the gap, Taveras reached agreements to raise an additional $40 million in payments in lieu of taxes with the city’s nonprofits—about half the land in Providence is exempt from paying property taxes. Additionally, he negotiated changes to city workers’ pensions, which included a 10-year freeze on cost of living increases and the switching of retiree health insurance from Blue Cross Blue Shield to Medicare. With these changes, Taveras was able to eliminate the structural deficit, and Providence ended fiscal year 2012 in the black.

Just a few months after taking office, Taveras made national news by sending termination notes to every teacher in the Providence School District. Taveras said at the time that the city would need “maximum flexibility” with the city education budget, though in the end, every teacher in the district was rehired. Taveras has since referred to his decision as a mistake. Taveras also closed five public schools as part of his deficit cutting strategy.

Taveras will face significant competition from fellow Democrat Gina Raimondo in the primaries. Raimondo is very similar to Taveras in terms of actual policy and focus on making Rhode Island more business-friendly. Taveras has emphasized the need to fix structural finances in the state, like he did in the city, before creating successful incentives for business growth.

In a state of just over one million people, 136,000 identify as Latino. This population is concentrated in Providence, where Latinos make up 40 percent of city residents. Both Taveras and current governor Lincoln Chafee have signaled the importance of the Latino constituency in Rhode Island through their opposition to federal immigration policies, such as overruling federal E-verify laws and the “Secure Communities” program, policies that connect local business and police practices with federal immigration authorities. The Latino vote, along with the potential union votes—the state firefighters’ union has already endorsed him—will prove to be Taveras’s unique advantage in his run for state office. –KT

03 █ METRO

Born in Smithville in 1971, Gina Raimondo is a Rhode Island native. Raimondo attended Harvard, studied as a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford, and earned a law degree from Yale University in 1998. After clerking for a New York district judge, Raimondo worked with start-up companies in the health care industry. She later worked as the Senior Vice President of fund development at Village Ventures, a venture capital firm that finances health care start-ups, and as a co-founder and General Partner of the Boston, Massachusetts venture capital firm Point Judith Capital. Raimondo launched her political career in 2010 when she was elected Treasurer of Rhode Island. Raimondo, though she has not officially announced her decision to run in the 2014 gubernatorial race, is a likely candidate who would hold a strong position due to her large campaign fund and skillful politicking.

Although Raimondo is a Democrat, her fiscal policy is alienating to some liberal voters. Raimondo is now perhaps best known for her controversial redesign of state pension policy with the Rhode Island Retirement Security Act of 2011. Her work in redesigning Rhode Island’s pension system significantly decreased benefits for public workers and involved investing about $1 billion, or 14 percent of the state budget, into hedge funds—an unorthodox state investment policy. As a gesture towards financial transparency, Raimondo changed the state’s bond disclosure policy by making state budget reports, Division of Taxation reports, and Employee’s Retirement System of Rhode Island financial statements accessible to the public.

Raimondo faces competition in the Democratic primary from Angel Taveras, who appeals to ideological liberals, and could easily steal voters who object to Raimondo’s involvement with hedge funds. He also stands to gain from the press coverage devoted to the disparity between his campaign budget of $0.8 million and Raimondo’s of $2.3 million (as of November 1, 2013). Raimondo’s success in the election ultimately rests on her ability to substantiate her campaign image as a deficit-taming liberal who will spend tax dollars responsibly. –HS

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

CLAY PELL The Claiborne Pell Bridge stretches on suspension cables across the Narraganset Bay, connecting Aquidneck Island (Newport) to Conanicut Island (Jamestown). The bridge’s namesake, Claiborne de Borda Pell, was the longest serving US Senator from Rhode Island (1961 to 1997). Pell is best known for his sponsorship of the Pell Grants program—need-based grants for post-secondary education.

Recently, another Claiborne Pell has entered the Rhode Island political scene— Herbert Claiborne “Clay” Pell IV, the 31-year-old grandson of the late Senator Pell.

In October, the younger Pell stepped down from his post in DC as Deputy Assistant Secretary for international and foreign language education, and rumors began to circulate that he would campaign for the Democratic Party of RI’s nomination for the 2014 gubernatorial election.

Over the past few weeks, Pell has met with several local democratic organizations to discuss his positions on statewide policy issues. Sam Bell, a member of RI Progressive Democrats, announced that the group may endorse Pell after talking with him last week.

Though he hasn’t made formal position statements, Pell is expected to fall to the left of possible candidates Raimondo and Taveras on education and tax reform, and has already received support from leaders of local teachers’ unions. Most local reporting on Pell’s candidacy has focused less on his political stances, which remain ambiguous, and instead highlight his familial connections, either to Senator Pell, or his marriage to Michelle Kwan, of Olympic figure skating fame.

Pell is a newcomer to the Rhode Island political scene, with no previous experience in electoral politics. Before his post at the Department of Education, he worked for the National Security Staff and as a White House Fellow. Educated at Harvard and Georgetown Law School, Pell is also a Judge Advocate General (JAG) and Lieutenant in the US Coast Guard. None of Pell’s previous experiences give much of an idea of him as politician, much less as a Rhode Islander; but with many local Democrats critical of the policies of Raimondo and Taveras, Pell’s electoral naiveté and lack of a political record may work out in his favor.

Current Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee, a former neighbor of Pell, compared his chances as a political newbie to his grandfather’s first Senatorial primary in 1960, in which Claiborne Pell beat out two former governors for the Democratic nomination. “I mean, as you look at it now,” Chafee remarked in an interview with The Providence Journal, “two well-known political names and an outsider—but guess who won?” –MH

public school success story, in speeches he speaks convincingly about the importance of education and his appreciation of the “value of a hard-earned dollar.” In his November 4 announcement of his candidacy, he vowed to create 20,000 new jobs in the state, freeze public college tuition rates for four years, waive the $500 minimum corporate income tax, create a public investment fund for start-ups, and reduce the achievement gap between minority and low-income students and their more privileged peers.

Fung is the current favorite for the Republican nomination, according to a Brown University poll conduced on October 2–5, and has the support of two former Republican governors and the House and Senate minority leaders. Despite this support, he’s critically tight on cash, lagging behind Democrats Taveras and Raimondo and Republican Ken Block, with only $336,553 as of the end of last quarter.

Fung’s personal and financial connections with prominent Democrats, including significant campaign contributions to and from Taveras, are sure to disappoint some Republican voters but, given his primary opponent’s own dubious Republican credentials, it’s unlikely to put him out of the race. “I’m a Rhode Islander,” he said in his campaign announcement. In a state where the majority of voters are unaffiliated with a major party, that’s going to be much more important than the little “R” next to his name on the ballot. –RS

KEN BLOCK

ALLAN FUNG Born in Providence to immigrant parents from Hong Kong, Republican Allan Fung won the Cranston mayoral election in 2008 to become the first Asian American mayor in Rhode Island.

Like other candidates for governor, he has longstanding ties to the state. He attended Classical High School with Angel Taveras, who was a personal friend. And while Taveras subsequently left the state to attend Harvard, Fung remained close to home at Rhode Island College. He left Rhode Island briefly for law school, but returned immediately afterward in 1996 to work for a Providence law firm specializing in personal injury and medical malpractice.

After a brief stint in the Attorney General’s office, he entered electoral politics as a Cranston City-Wide Councilman in 2003, a part-time position that allowed him to work as a lobbyist for insurance giant MetLife until 2009, when he took office as mayor.

Since 2008, Fung has been re-elected twice, in 2010 and 2012. He won the 2010 election with 76 percent of the vote and was unopposed in 2012. Like many Republicans nationwide, he is campaigning on an image as a “job-creator,” claiming to have added over 1,000 jobs to his city of 80,000 people since taking office, a claim that fact-checker PolitiFact calls “mostly true.”

Other claimed accomplishments include reducing the city’s operating expenses and pension negotiations with public-sector unions to cap potential benefit increases and reduce current and future costs for taxpayers.

Besides his official résumé, Fung enjoys a compelling campaign narrative: a first-generation American who started working in his parents’ Chinese restaurant at age nine and a Providence

NOVEMBER 22 2013

Ken Block, software engineer–turned–third party founder, has arrived at last on the Republican party ticket. After earning a BS in Software Engineering from Dartmouth in 1987, he entered the tech industry. Today, he is the president of Simpatico Software Systems, which “helps identify and find waste and fraud in social service spending programs for state governments.”

After a political awakening in 2007, he founded the Moderate Party as a means of bridging the inter-party gap and tackling divisive issues. A centrist, he saw the reigning Democratic government as irresponsible and the opposing Republican Party as offering no better option.

But Block garnered just 6.5 percent of the vote in the 2010 Gubernatorial Election. Since then, he has lost faith in third-party politics. In October, he announced he would run in the 2014 election as a Republican.

Block is centering his campaign around the same two issues as he did in 2010: education and the economy. His avoidance of what he calls “social issues” may have been a good approach for a centrist trying to appeal to a broad audience, but it may prove problematic in 2014 as he tries to win over a conservative base.

Block’s approach to educational issues revolves around increased attention for struggling elementary school students, specialized schools for non-native English speakers and recent immigrants, and changes to teacher layoff laws that would force schools to fire teachers earlier, before they even know whether the layoff will be necessary.

Of course, these reforms would not come free of charge. In an editorial in the Providence Journal, Block wrote that he had “a plan to find and save $1 billion in wasteful spending.”

A portion of this plan centers on restructuring state welfare programs. To persuade skeptical voters, Block will have to convince them that his technical experience really is adequate to help him eliminate billions from the state budget.

In Brown University’s early October poll, Block received only 9 percent of the vote in a hypothetical four way race against Taveras, Fung, and Raimondo. His main competition in the Republican primary is Allan Fung, who has much stronger ties with Republican leadership and working-class residents.

Block reported $547,685 in campaign finance for the third quarter of the fiscal year, after reporting only $20,000 for the second quarter. $500,000 of these funds came from Block himself.

If he wins the Republican primary, Block may have a good chance against Democratic candidates who will have had to withstand a brutal primary election. It all depends on whether the Right can learn to love the man who once cast them aside. –SLS

METRO █ 04

A VERY KANYE THANKSGIVING

By Sam Rosen & Josh Schenkkan Kourtney Kardashian was alternating between chugging from an imaginary bottle and flapping her wings frantically as her teammates shouted wrong answers. Then the bell went off.

“Kourtney, what was it?” her confused charades partners asked.

“You guys are so dumb!” Kourtney cried. “It was TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD. Only like the most famous book ever.”

Yeezus fucking Christ, Kanye thought. Normally, it was at this point in the Kardashian family gatherings that he excused himself to his studio. But not tonight. Eyes on the prize, Kanye. Tonight, he would change Thanksgiving forever.

Kanye didn’t know when he decided that he wanted to reinvent a major American holiday. Part of him believed that he’d wanted to all his life. But it was only during his latest balancing diamond massage that he’d decided that this year would be the year.

But which holiday? Christmas was the obvious choice, but he had already done the Jesus thing; Kwanza was too obscure— the only people he knew who still celebrated it were Mase and Rick Rubin. Chanukah was appropriately grandiose with its eight nights, but the early drafts of his Damien Hirst collaboration menorahs had an opulence that was a little too ‘Watch the Throne.’ But Thanksgiving? Everyone celebrated Thanksgiving. It was the most American holiday of all the American holidays. And what did every American family eat on Thanksgiving? The same old ugly, beige, completely uninspiring turkey. But not his new family. This year, the West-Kardashians would dine on the first-ever bespoke turkeys. The game that would change the game.

In January, he’d commissioned Frank Gehry to design a deconstructivist masterpiece of a turkey coop in the foothills behind his Georgia mansion. He’d collaborated with La Prairie on the first-ever turkey cosmetic line. He’d had their breakfast flown in from The French Laundry, their lunch from elBulli. Every morning, they went jogging with Lennox Lewis’s former trainer, and at night they did yoga with Bikram Choudhury. By November, his turkeys were swag-to-table.

But you can’t eat a turkey if it’s still alive. Kanye needed to slaughter the birds, and he needed to slaughter them himself. As he approached the coop, his iridium blade in hand, he began to tremble with anxiety. The only thing he’d ever killed before was a verse— he would need someone to talk him through, someone with a darker past.

Jay Z has imposed a strict three phone call per week limit on Kanye as of late, and he had already used up his allotment getting Kylee Jenner and her friends onto the set of Beyonce’s recent Pepsi shoot (and had there even been a “thank you”? Of course not). But this was urgent and important. Big brother would understand.

The phone went straight to voicemail, and seconds later, Kanye received a text:

“Dinner w/ Barack and kids. Put u on speaker phone? Biden big fan of College Dropout.”

Damnit, Kanye thought. This was clearly not a conversation he could ask Jay to have in front of the president. If only Jay had agreed to have Kanye teach him Swaghili. Swaghili collab w/ Rosetta Stone, Kanye made a mental note.

Kanye scrolled through his phone.

50 Cent picked up after a few rings. “Yeezy season approaching! Listen, I have to talk to you about…”

“50, don’t have time to talk— I need you to tell me how to kill” “Kill? Man I’ve never killed shit!” 50 chuckled. “50 Cent is basically a creation of a subsidary of Warner Brothers.”

There was a pause on the line.

“But you know what, man, it sounds like you really need some advice. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but the person you need to talk to is that little Kiwi sensation.”

“Lorde?!” Kanye was stunned.

“Straight up. My nutritionist Hokaka is from Auckland, and he told me she’s a cold blooded killer. Like on some Uma Thurman shit. I’ll BBM you her contact info.”

Kanye’s fingers trembled as he touched “call.”

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Kanye said, a little too cheerfully.

“Thanksgiving? You mean the annual celebration of colonial genocide? Thanks, I guess,” Lorde said, sounding bored.

“Are you busy?” Kanye asked sheepishly.

“I don’t even know how to answer a question like that.”

“I need to know how to kill and 50 Cent told me you knew how,” Kanye blurted.

“Oh. I assume we’re talking paparazzi.” There was a pause on the line. “You just have to pretend they’re someone you hate. Hasn’t your wife slept with, like, an entire basketball team?

Just pretend they’re one of them.”

Kanye looked into the den, where one of his turkeys was reclining in an Eames chair, sitting serenely like a little prince as GOOD Music’s intern, Seth, worked on its cuticles. These turkeys, these gorgeous camo-print turkeys with their Raf Simmons leggings and tiny Air Yeezys— turkeys that were about to change the fucking game forever— bore no resemblance to the Cro-Magnon emptiness of Kris Humphries or the shit-eating buffoonery of Ray J. And they didn’t need to. Because they didn’t need to be killed and served that night. Kanye realized there was nothing he had to prove to the world, that he had no need for another ahead-of-its time project that would be misunderstood by the masses and ridiculed by pasty late-night hosts. How you gonna be mad on vacation? He had everything he needed only an acre away— his beautiful wife and perfect little girl, waiting for him to celebrate the holiday.

How do I learn to spit farther?

Put a piece of fruit-flavored gum in your mouth, and chew until it gets all juicy. Then, breathe in—deep. Hold your breath as long as you can. Keep on holding it some more. Hold it so long that you feel like you’re gonna explode. Then: RELEASE!!! The juicy gum and your spit should splatter pretty far. This is more of a “trick” than it is “learning” but that’s okay.

Is my water bottle making me sick?

Probably not. Water contains no fat/creme, so it can’t go “bad,” like cheese or a smoothwould. The only way you can get sick from your water bottle is if your mouth germs get in the bottle, and then grow: if you drink from the bottle even one more time after this, you could develop an ailment. The easy way around this is to brush your teeth before you drink out of the water bottle so that no germs get in.

Yes. Here’s an example: let’s say you cook a pound of spinach for too long, and it gets all mushy and fibrous. You’ll eat it up, and then you’ll get an ache in the pit of your gut. Within a few hours, you’ll lose everything. You’ll lose it all.

ie

Should I support my loved ones in whatever they want to do, or do I have a moral imperative to give them my critical opinion and guidance?

You have a moral imperative to tell your brother how to land a 720 on the snow pipe. YOU HAVE TO!

05 █ HOLIDAY

Do you think if I pushed it too far, I would lose it?

I don’t know if I’m driven to work hard because of an honest impulse to improve the world or because the Protestant work ethic tells me to. What should I do?

Grow a rat tail to tell the Protestant work ethic to fuck off.

What kind of cookies should I bake this Tuesday? Who should I bake them with?

Wow, cookie-baking two days before Thanksgiving—bold. Here’s something that fits the bill— bold, seasonal, and with more sticks of butter than I dare mention: pecan bars. Like the pie, but with the crust quotient seriously multiplied. As for who—if you supply the butter, you’re bound to meet with a positive response.

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

YOU ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

by Julieta Cárdenas

your month in horoscopes SCORPIO October 23-November 21 Oh, how do I say this, You are complicated, and you use this as an excuse for bad behavior. You are hot and build muscle easily.

You make a great sporty roommate but a terrible significant other.

You are a loyal friend and a solid worker.

Your month: Happy birthday! Stop freaking out, you’re still young. If your loved ones have upset you lately, give them another chance. You retreat when upset and throw yourself into your work. You study until your eyes feel like they are falling out of your face and tell yourself that this is what you need. Stop doing this! Use your powers of memory to try something new, like memorizing a poem. This will make you feel good as you do it (you are a poet), after you do it (you accomplished another thing!), and it will make you feel GREAT when you can recite it in an intimate corner to someone you admire.

ARIES March 21–April 19 As the first sign of the zodiac, you often feel entitled to control the situation. You love being in the game, you run the game— boss, we await your command. You are the MOST sassy, but it works for you. ;-] Your month: Keep some things to yourself. Don’t feel pressured to respond to everyone’s questions about how you’re doing.

I’m not suggesting you keep emotions bottled up; just find your peaceful place, have yourself some warm milk, and pet a goddamn kitten. This won’t settle you completely—you really do have a lot on your plate—so make a to-do list and don’t guilt yourself for being ambitious. Sorry precious, you won’t always finish everything and nothing will ever be good enough for you.

TAURUS April 20–May 20 If you got cash to burn, baby, you’re gonna burn it...and then while inhaling a glass of something I’ve never heard of at New Rivers, you will sigh that deep sigh of yours and say, “Fuck it, c’est MA vie.”

Your month: Keep your bags under the weight limit—you don’t need all of that. Sure-footed bull, it’s okay to lose your balance.

See what happens when you are unprepared! You know you have good taste, but consider WHY you like the things you do. Also, it’s time to step it up in terms of how you value time with others.

Try asking the questions every so often.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 You were my first love. Maybe it was your tennis arms? You were enigmatic, which made you mysterious, but I couldn’t quite figure you out—and that’s not so good for relationships. I like what you write, but where does it come from?

Your month: We like that you’re a smooth operator. Now channel that into turning uncomfortable social situations into productive conversation spaces. You take really good care of your clothes, so I’m sorry to say that on the 28th a relative will spill gravy on your Rag & Bone. Excuse yourself from the table, scream silently in the hallway, and pour a shot of the finest, strongest drink you’ve got.

CANCER June 21–July 22 You listen carefully to friends while sitting with your legs crossed, head tilted—and then tell them they are being flippant, dumb, and can do better. We get a little lost in your eyes. We appreciate the directness. And…YOU GIVE GREAT HUGS.

LEO July 23–August 22

CAPRICORN December 22–January 19

No, no I’m not laughing at you. Yes you look fine, it’s a consensus you look great. JEESUS, stop checking yourself out!

I need you more than you need me. You have managed to keep your cool even though people around you often bounce off the wall. Remember when we went to that after-after-party in Tribeca and you let me cry on your lap in one of the bathrooms and then you lied and told everyone that I just had an allergic reaction to the beet-chips? You’re a real pal.

Your month: ‘Kay little party monster, you’re almost done with the serious business. You took care of the logistics and now just need to smooth the edges. Don’t get distracted until you finish all your work. Promise? Holiday events will be good networking spaces, so clean up your Facebook profile. You’re going to make a good impression, and then people will google your name and find all that—what IS that?

VIRGO August 23–September 22 Every time I see you pull out the hand-sanitizer, I smile. You invented Type A; you’re kind of my type. Your wallet is so organized, your nail beds so neat, and your real bed so secretly soft.

Your month: Late summer baby, the winter sky darkens too quickly for you. You are getting S.A.D. Pick up some orange juice and study at the RISD Nature Lab. But I’m sure you thought about that already. You are always the analytical thinker, the getthings-done person, and you love having people think of you this way. However, people who know you better now see you as more than just a human iCal in black. They sense that you are sorting really heavy stuff in your churning brain—spiritual things, even.

Let new friends guide you.

LIBRA September 23–October 22 Remember how as a child you would stand in front of your shoes, turn towards the window, and try to figure out what would be most weather-appropriate for the day? It was cute then and could be cute now, but sometimes you just gotta make up your mind and run with it.

Your month: You thought you had it in the bag! Meh, s’alright, half-baked is better than no-baked. You have been feeling better about your mistakes which is a good thing because having an emotional distance from your problems can help you learn about the process and figure out how to get things done better in the future. Actually the future is now, start thinking about holding on to your relaxed feeling these days while picking up the pace.

There is someone evaluating your work and good things will come from it if you set a regular schedule.

SAGITTARIUS November 22–December 21 You are the catch of the zodiac: kind, deep, tall. You move around intellectual matters with grace and modesty and are genuinely the most polite person in the room. We all feel better when you are around. I know I’m gushing but do you know how special you are? Thank you, cool kid.

Your month: Give yourself some cred and keep hoping for the best. You’re smart, and your work shows it. Don’t worry about people not “getting it.” They just aren’t on your level. You may want to critique other people’s work, but you worry about seeming demanding or intrusive. Just remember that self-respect is your right and that your wisdom will help others.

AQUARIUS January 20–February 18 Aquarius, you are a socially conscious, self-driven, Icy Brat—but you get away with being so perfect because you’re kind of a genius. You just want to make the world a better place to live in, but I’m a little scared of you. But when you do open your arms to others—judiciously—they feel blessed. Also, you have really soft hair.

Your month: Wake up, eat your muesli, get dressed and then grab your up-cycled backpack and head to class. You have been working really hard, and although you find sentimentality indulgent, complain if you need to complain! Let your mom know how you are doing. Go home for a nice and necessary treat—don’t guilt yourself for asking for help.

PISCES February 19–March 20 Pisces, self-indulgent little sap. I say this from a place of love, you see, I am one too. I know what you are thinking, “Yay, I found someone to cry with!” NO. BAD IDEA. Never cry with another Pisces. We’re just gonna emo each other out. OR…LETS DO IT! Lets go get crazy! We could make such good sad art.

Your month: People have put a lot of trust in your creative abilities this year. Don’t fuck it up. This said, every time you get into that state of automatic working you forget to breathe. This month we have to try to find a way to balance expectations with real meditation. Let’s exercise at the pool and then go work on grad school apps. If you disagree with something it is particularly important to be diplomatic in your responses this month. You need people, and while it’s okay to be needy (can’t help it), we have to at least try to separate our feelings from our selfpresentation in professional situations. Everyone has been really nice to us lately. Remember to thank them, we can use our glitter pens for notes!

Your month: Congrats! You’re here because you know how to work hard. This month, trust your timing: If you feel you have to do something right away, do it right away. Fortune favors you.

However…let’s get real. You’ve been a little sad lately, which is unusual. Take this holiday time to give yourself space for inquiry into YOUR soul. What are you feeling? Let yourself feel it. Make something with your hands. Don’t be embarrassed—you don’t have to show your collages to anyone.

Your month: Little crab, when people get too close you scurry away. You are judgmental. But you’re also one of the few people who looks better when annoyed. You don’t know your next step and it frustrates you. No one is going to tell you where to go, but luckily you have a lot of time to sort things out on your own.

NovemBER 22 2013

occult █ 06

PONTIFEX MEETS POLITICS the skeletons in the Vatican’s closet Pope Francis may be in trouble. Last spring, he started off his papacy by vowing to curb corruption in the Vatican bank. The Italian mafia, which has historically used the bank to launder its considerable financial resources, presumably took notice.

Last week, high-ranking Italian magistrate Nicola Gratteri announced his fears that ’Ndrangheta, one of the largest and most violent crime operations in the country, could lash out against the pope, who has made a point of going out in public since being confirmed, in situations where a powerful mafioso, unconcerned of the consequences, could easily strike him down. Francis has given speeches saying that the best way to deal with a corrupt person would be “if a millstone were put around his neck and he be thrown into the sea.” ’Ndrangheta’s cocaine-trafficking, extortion, and money-laundering operations reportedly make up at least three percent of Italy’s GDP.

Gratteri’s off-hand comment to the press received instant attention. He is not, to be clear, revealing insider knowledge about a Dan Brown-style plot to assassinate the pope; rather, the judge was pointing out the very clear and present danger already facing Francis for speaking out against a force whose influence is as old and entrenched, University College Professor John Dickie told CNN, “as the Italian state.” In 1993, the mafia bombed two churches in Rome after Pope John Paul II warned organized criminals that God would judge them.

As much as the Church has, in its almost two millennia in power, striven to show the pope as God’s BFF—the most holy of holies, a powerful man outside the control of the world’s rulers— the truth is that the Vatican has been a site of international, and much more personal, politics since the first century AD. The list of papal scandals goes on and on. (Wikipedia, for its part, features a long article detailing the “List of Sexually Active Popes.”) Yet some scandals, personal and geopolitical, rank higher than others in terms of earthly significance, novelty, or lurid drama.

Here, a selective history of papal scandal.

WORST OF TIMES // 1799 Pope Pius VI’s troubles began with the French Revolution. An effigy of his likeness, a symbol of the entrenched hierarchy and lack of enlightenment against which the revolutionaries were fighting, was burned in front of the Parisian Palais Royal—part of an ongoing spectacle to renounce the Catholic Church and drive its influence out of France. When Napoleon Bonaparte took over, his army invaded Italy and took the pope captive, demanding that he renounce his earthly authority. Pius refused and was shuttled from the Vatican north to Siena, then to a small town outside Florence. Soon Napoleon, having declared war on Tuscany, removed the pope to France, where he died in captivity.

Even his burial was not on his own terms but on Napoleon’s, six months after his death, without a service, in France.

NOT THAT INNOCENT // 1688 Pope Innocent XI openly funded and supported the Catholic King James II in his struggles with the Protestant William of Orange over the British crown. The struggle between James, the English king, and William, the Dutchman married to James’ sister Mary, culminated in the Glorious Revolution, in which William and Mary took control of England and drove out Catholic influence. So it’s understandable why the pope would have wanted to give James a hand.

The real gossip? Pope Innocent may have also been seeing William on the side—or, clandestinely funding the Protestant’s military campaign against the Catholic King. At least, this is what Italian authors Francesco Sorti and Rita Monaldi claimed in their 2002 book Imprimatur. The authors’ claim—that the pope potentially betrayed a Catholic monarch in order to strengthen his position relative to other European powers—is rooted in well-substantiated real life political motivations, but their book is a novel. That didn’t stop the Vatican from lashing out against the authors. While popular across Europe, the book is unavailable in Italy. The publishing house that put it out belongs to Italian politician and media tycoon Silvio Berlusconi, who maintains a close relationship to the Vatican; after the Church spoke out against Imprimatur, the publisher stopped printing the book and it all but disappeared from the Italian market.

The Vatican’s influence in this affair is cloaked in shadows; the extent of their official involvement in the debate ended with a statement in the Catholic Encyclopedia asserting that there are “no grounds for the accusation” that Innocent funded the Protestants in the Glorious Revolution. Nevertheless, the theory of Pope Innocent’s guilt may have gotten under the Church’s skin more than it let on. In 2011, his remains were dug up from their prominent position in a chapel near St. Peter’s Basilica and moved into a new grave deep within the basilica, in order to make room for the remains of the recently beatified John Paul II to rest in a “particularly suitable chapel,” Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told the press.

07 █ NEWS

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

by Emma Wohl Illustration by Pierie Korostoff THE REAL WORLD: VATICAN // 1495 The story of Pope Alexander VI and his family, the Borja dynasty in Spain and the Borgias in Italy, sometimes reads like the plot of a particularly violent romance novel. The pope had at least 10 children with at least three different women, elevated many of his children to powerful religious or political positions, and for several years lost control of the city of Florence to the popular and extremely pious monk Girolamo Savonarola. The monk was prone to spectacles like bonfires of the vanities—great pyres where sinful articles (works of art, novels, song books, cosmetics, playing cards, mirrors) were destroyed—and established a popular republic answering only to God. Pope Alexander couldn’t have that; he excommunicated Savonarola, threatened the city, and eventually the Florentines complied. They executed Savonarola, who had admitted to fabricating his visions and messages from God—but this had more to do with the monk’s tiresome moralizing than the power of the papacy.

With the disaster in Florence serving as an example to other city-states under papal authority, Alexander cracked down to maintain order. Mostly, this took the form of marrying off his children to rulers and wealthy families. Accusations that he poisoned, extorted, and murdered enemies, though not outside the realm of possibility, were propagated by the least credible source—his papal successor, Julius II, who got most of his evidence against his rival by torturing Alexander’s servants in a deliberate attempt to crush the Borgias.

Though his popular image is that of a ruthless murderer, then, Pope Alexander was more likely just a political opportunist and womanizer.

WISH I COULD QUIT YOU // 1054 Rome and Constantinople tried to make it work together for a thousand years, but finally Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox had to admit they were better off apart. Not that things were quite so civil; the relationship ended when a cardinal excommunicated the Patriarch of Constantinople, who did the same to him in return.

Tensions resurfaced in later centuries, as they do when exes reunite, with crusades, massacres, and the sacking of cities. It wasn’t until 1965, when Pope Paul VI and Patriarch Athenagoras I nullified the excommunications of 1054, that the two churches were finally able to put aside their differences and move on.

THE PORNOCRACY // 904-964 The process for selecting popes wasn’t codified until 1059. During a 60-year period the century before, the Church fell under, to quote Protestant theologians of the 1800s, the Rule of the Prostitutes. Two women of the prominent Roman Theophylacti family, Theodora and Marozia, held sway over the selection of popes. Theodora was, the 10th century bishop Liutprand of Cremona wrote, “a shameless whore [who] exercised power on the Roman citizenry like a man” in her role as Senatrix. Marozia was the concubine of Pope Sergius III, just one among her many lovers. Marozia’s son (who may have been Sergius’ son, or the son of Marozia’s husband Alberic of Spoleto), grandson, and two great-grandsons all served as pope. The period that arguably brought women closest to the heart of the Church is now deemed, in the official Ecclesiastical literature, Saeculum Obscurum—the Dark Age. WHAT’S MY NAME? // 752 Pope-elect Stephen suffered a stroke and died several days before he could be ordained. He became a cardinal posthumously, but Church officials were split over his papal status. If a pope never dons the pointy hat, they wondered, can he really be counted among the greats? This actually wasn’t much of a controversy for several hundred years. But when popes began to take names including a number (John X, Pius VI, etc.) in the tenth century, Stephen’s case resurfaced in a crisis of terminology. If he was going to be considered Pope Stephen II, his successors would all have to adjust the numbers in their titles. By the 20th century the nomenclatural controversy was resolved, somewhat anticlimactically, as each Pope Stephen retroactively adopted two numbers as part of his name, such as Stephen IX (X).

EMMA WOHL B’14 is a sinner.

NOVEMBER 22 2013

NEWS █ 08

HERBAL FARMACY a guide to herbal remedies

Fenug Trigonella foen - Promotes lactation, regulates blood su - Seeds ingeste - Do not ingest if allergic to chickp - Drink four cups of Fenugreek decoction ea it will make your sweat Yarrow Achillea millefolium - Promotes tissue constriction.

- Reduces fevers, inflammation, and risk of infection.

- Infuse leaves and stems to end diarrhea and break fevers, make a poultice of leaves for cuts.

- Prolonged use can increase photosensitivity.

- The genus name Achillea gets it’s name from Achilles, who carried Yarrow into battle to treat his army’s wounds.

Rhodiola Rhodiola rosea -Promotes blood flow and can be used for erectile dysfunction.

-Stimulant in smaller doses, sedative in larger doses, antidepressant, stabilizes physiological processes.

-Reduces tissue sensitivity to stress.

-Roots used in tincture or as decoction (1/8 tsp of root powder per day as stimulant).

-Avoid if bipolar or pregnant, overdose can cause vomiting or insomnia.

-My dad once put too much of this in his tea and he couldn’t sleep for 2 days. Otherwise he loves it.

Valerian Valeriana officinalis -Reduces pain, muscle spasms, and tissue sensitivity to stress. Also a sedative.

-Roots used in tincture or decoction.

-Avoid operating heavy machinery after taking Valerian.

-Valerian puts people to sleep but excites both cats and mice. The Pied Piper of Hamlin baited. rodents with valerian to drive them out of the city. My friend Joe uses valerian to sleep every night.

Dandelion Taraxacum officinale - Promotes digestion, lactation, and urination.

- Ingestion of flowers and leaves, decoction of roots, infusion of leaves.

-Many wildcrafted dandelions may have herbicide on them, so be careful where you harvest, or be sure to wash them well!

-You can make dandelion flower fritters and eat them as a digestive aid at the end of a meal.

Peppermint Mentha piperita -Reduces pain, fever, muscle spasms. Also stimulant and liver purifier.

-Promotes gas production and tissue constriction.

-Infusion of leaves, cold compress of essential oil or leaves.

-Essential oil may cause skin irritation in some.

Instructio

To make a poultice, chew up the with a utensil—a spoon or the botto you’d like and tie it on wi

To decoct the roots, bark, or seeds of a plant, br lbs. of herbs for every cup of water) for 20-60 min all cools. You don’t want any volatile oils e

To infuse leaves, stems, and flowers of an herb, bring w You should have 1 Tbs of herbs for every cup of hot w drin

To make a cold water extraction, pour some water (luke a whole herb, four hours are needed for extraction. If yo utes. Cold water extraction is better when you only wa while—watch

To make a tincture, mix one liter of high-quality 8 bottle with seven oz of herbs. Mix to release air bu in a dark place for one to six months. Then stra accordance with your her

It’s best to consult an herbalist if you h Mary Blue Hastings all of my quest on 28 Cemetary St. in Provide able things from her abou heal

Oat Avena sativa -Forms soothing film over mucus membranes and stabilizes physiological processes.

-Reduces inflammation and tissue sensitivity to stress.

-Poultice from grain, infusion of stems from a pre-flowering plant, ingestion of grain.

-Soothing and moisturising for the stomach and bowels.

Plan Plantago -Promotes healing of wounds, tis -Reduced pain -Poultice of leaves for cuts, stings and rashes, in -In very rare cases polle -You’ve probably seen Plantain in a

09 █ science

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

by Claudia Norton Illustration by Jehane Samaha

greek num-graecum ugar, strong aphrodisiac for women (!) ed or decocted. peas, avoid large doses if pregnant. ach day as a great alternative to deodorant— smell like maple syrup!

Lavender Lavandula angustifolia -Promotes wound healing.

-Reduces pain (most likely by reducing anxiety), sedative, anti-bacterial, antifungal.

-Use essential oil or infused oil on skin directly, infusion of flowers.

-If you don’t want to drink lavender tea, you can drop some essential oil in a bath for sedative effects.

-You can also put some essential oil in a spray bottle with water and vinegar and clean your home with it.

onal blurbs

e herb in question or macerate it om of a cup is fine. Warm the herbs if ith cloth, plastic wrap, etc.

ring water to a boil and simmer the material (17 ns WITH THE LID ON! Keep the lid on until it escaping through the steam. Then drink it.

water to a boil and turn off heat. Pour water over herbs. water. Let steep (covered) for 20 mins–24 hours. Then nk it.

ewarm to chilled) over the herb. If you’re extracting from ou’re extracting from a powder, you only need a few minant the plant’s mucilaginous polysaccharides. Stir it for a h it thicken up.

80 proof vodka into an opaque ceramic or dark glass ubbles. Close the top of the bottle tightly and store ain the herbs out of the tincture and consume in rbalist’s recommendation.

have specific questions or ailments. I ask tions—she founded Farmacy Herbs ence, and I’ve learned innumerut herbs, community, and ling.

Stinging Nettles Urtica dioica - Promotes urination and tissue toning and constriction.

- Reduces pain and inflammation.

-Tincture and infusion of the leaves for energy and general well-being.

-Nettle has most of what you need: protein, calcium, phosphorus, iron, magnesium, beta-carotene, vitamins A, C, D, and B complex.

- Don’t eat this raw unless you know how to disarm the stingers. You can dry or cook the leaves to take out the sting.

Marshmallow Althaea officinalis -Promotes lactation.

-Reduces inflammation, moisturises, regulates blood sugar. Also antibacterial.

-Root used as decoction, add water to powder as poultice or cold-water infusion.

- Drink an infusion if you have a sore throat. Use as a poultice if you need a powerful moisturizer or hair conditioner.

- Don’t take marshmallow at the same time you take other medicine—the herb’s mucilage can interfere with your body’s ability to absorb of nutrients and chemicals.

- In the late 19th century, corn starch replaced marshmallow sap in the confection that retains the herb’s name.

Ginger Zingiber officinale - Promotes uterine contractions, immune function, tissue constriction, and digestion.

- Reduces inflammation, pain, and muscle spasms.

- Decoction of root, ingestion of root.

- Avoid if taking prescription blood thinners.

- Great for an upset stomach, diarrhea, head cold.

Mugwort Artemisia vulgaris -Promotes sweating, urination, and uterine contractions for menstruation, and in high enough doses abortion.

-Infusion of leaves, decoction of roots.

- Very bitter to taste.

- Putting the herb in a pillow may cause lucid dreaming.

Garlic Allium sativum -Promotes uterine contractions and regulates blood pressure. Also antibiotic and antifungal.

-Poultice from cloves, ingestion of cloves.

-Overconsumption can cause heartburn or rash.

- If you have a yeast infection you can put a peeled clove or two in your vagina. Change it twice each day. You can poke very small holes in the clove, but if it burns after insertion then you’ve gone too far and you have to start over.

ntain o Major ssue constriction, and urination. n and bleeding. nfusion of leaves for heartburn and indigestion. en may trigger allergies. field of grass—it grows everywhere!

NOVEMBER 22 2013

science █ 10

RECYCLED BRICK

architectural appropriation in Berlin and beyond

by Maya Sorabjee

the kindl brewery opened for business in 1926. Taking advantage of the high ground of its Berlin-Neukölln locale, the factory used vast underground cellars to store its eponymous beer. At its peak, it was alive with the smell of yeast and grain, with large copper vats fermenting the country’s favorite drink.

Today, the Kindl brewery remains a relic of the city’s industrial brewing days, superseded by advanced technology.

It sits, an art deco curiosity, amidst organic cafés and art galleries that have proliferated over the past few years in Neukölln, a historically immigrant-run neighborhood. But in keeping with the area’s trendy transformation, as of this month, the former Kindl brewery has a new, stylized identity —KINDL Centre for Contemporary Art. It is another instance of adaptive reuse, the practice of repurposing structures and their inherent nostalgia for new functions. Factories become museums. Textile mills become nightclubs. Vegetable markets become retail spaces. “Adaptive reuse grew out of conservation of buildings, but the desire not to make them simply into shrines or museums,” noted architectural historian and Brown professor Sheila Bonde.

“But rather to maintain the vitality of urban or rural spaces by endowing a structure with new functions.”

The Kindl brewery’s renovation slots it into a list of industrial abandonments reborn as art spaces. The factory will be revamped by next fall. “The different floors of the KINDL each possess a unique quality, which enables us to realize different forms of exhibition, from thematic to solo presentations to small-scale showcase exhibitions,” artistic director Andreas Fiedler told the Independent. “The spectacular architecture of the Boiler House opens many opportunities for artists.” It sounds perfect: The public gets a cultural booster in an already-trendy neighborhood while retaining the charm of a former time (read: six stunning brewing vats shaped like giant toilet plungers). But the KINDL’s true success depends on how sensitively it will harness these spaces for its new artistic function. Like other projects of its kind, it serves to resolve issues of preservation and urban sprawl, but risks being a flimsy tribute to a rich material heritage. +++ the kindl brewery evokes a very familiar form—London’s Tate Modern. The colossal art museum rests on the bank of the Thames, in conversation with St. Paul’s Cathedral on the opposite side. Like the Kindl brewery, its central tower forms a striking silhouette that seems to puncture the sky.

The Tate Modern was once the Bankside Power Station.

A former oil-fired energy plant, it closed in 1981 and came close to demolition. Amidst pleas to save it, in 1994, the power station was declared the new home of Britain’s modern art collection, a facet of the Tate art institution. Its minimal redesign by Swiss architects Herzog and de Meuron was completed in 2000, involving a succession of unique galleries behind the original art deco façade. Massive oil tanks sit underneath the museum, dedicated to live art. The Tate’s gaping central space, the turbine hall, looms to a dramatic height. Chinese artist Ai Wei Wei once blanketed its entire floor in millions of tiny porcelain sunflower seeds.

London’s iconic art museum is the poster child for

13 █ arts

adaptive reuse. It prevented unnecessary demolition by incorporating existing raw material into the new design. The Tate Modern is a conscious response to the existing structure not only through its renovation, but also by its intently commissioned artistic intervention. The museum’s central chimney was temporarily modified with a luminous roof called the Swiss Light, creating a reminder of both the origin of the Industrial Revolution, and the fresh home of modern culture.

The museum’s popularity has begun to stimulate a noticeable trend of converting industrial sites around the world into art institutes. The Inujima Seirensho Art Museum in Japan was a disused copper refinery, renovated into an art museum in 2008. The site remains conscious of its recycled existence, using the former plant to power a water purification system. Shanghai’s Power Station of Art is a state-run modern art museum that opened last year amidst a flurry of cultural construction in China—about 390 museums opened in 2011 alone. But since the essence of architectural reuse derives from its recognition of the past, its use in a country devoted to the censorship of its own history seems ironic. +++ cities must confront simultaneous problems of limited space to build and a duty to preserve physical heritage. Reuse is touted as the answer to this conundrum, because it works toward an urban identity that is not ruthless, but one that acknowledges its legacy. From the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, a church later appropriated as a mosque, to the Palais du Louvre, a fortress-turned-museum, the reasons for recycling structures are various. “And that continuum is present throughout time, in antiquity, the Middle Ages and today,” said Bonde.

However, urban heritage often goes beyond physical form. It can be intangible, comprised of the events and ideas that inhabit a space. This is the more difficult preservation that communities and authorities must tackle. “I think an articulate program is one that doesn’t just say, ‘we’re going to save this shell of a building and use it,’ but makes a statement about why it’s important,” surmised Bonde. “And what about that past was interesting, useful, important, and what we do with this space that helps to connect people with their past, make them care.” In this sense, adaptive reuse is unevenly successful.

The practice occasionally becomes façadism, where renovations leave a building’s frontage intact, but gut both its interior and personality. Manhattan’s Hearst Tower had its brick base built in 1928, but the skyscraper was only completed in 2006, designed by British architect Norman Foster. A jagged steel structure that arises from the original building, it is a reminder of the awkwardness that can come from fusing contemporary and preserved architecture. This disconnect extends to differences in social strata as well.

Further downtown, the South Street Seaport is a historical

area that saw its revival at the end of the 20th century. But what began a museum-oriented celebration of its maritime past eventually became a tourist attraction, providing visitors with a superficial view of the port’s former nautical glory.

What was a historically mercantile space is now an upscale shopping district.

How do we judge the success of architectural reuse?

Perhaps it hinges on the statement a project wants to make, how articulate designers and curators are about pointing out the significance of the past and the lives of its original inhabitants. It may seem that art spaces, like the future KINDL, are hallowed places of cultural enrichment, as they certainly can be. But they are not democratic, often influenced by a privileged aesthetic and an incentive for profit.

Bonde believes that the success of the Tate Modern shouldn’t be exclusive to its genre. “Arts communities have an awareness of design and architectural history that predisposes them to be sensitive,” she said. “But I think that low-income housing could be as well. You just need the same sensitive design awareness, to care about history and to be invested in it.” +++ although renovations are ongoing, activity within the brewery has already begun. “The KINDL is launching the event series Guests as a way to test and animate former brewery,” said Fiedler. This month, the discussion focuses on a subject close to home: the city as a function of neighborhood development. The curatorial statement includes questions such as “how do we want to live?” and “what are the potentials of abandoned and deserted spaces?” But these questions are difficult to answer, for gauging the success of adaptive reuse is complicated. The new functions of a site are perceived differently by the various people—locals, tourists, authorities—interacting with it. “The KINDL plans to be a lively, open house,” noted Fiedler. “We plan to have accompanying educational programs, and the venue will be filled with exhibitions and events as diverse as its architecture.

In general, I have strong confidence in the power of art.”

KINDL intends to establish its importance with one-off programing. “The site-specific installations are programmed to be on view for approximately one year, after which they will be taken down and probably not shown anywhere else,” said Fiedler. “Within this year the audience will have the opportunity of long-term examination.” Besides art, a beer garden and café will rope in the public. But the KINDL risks becoming the younger sibling of the Tate Modern, just another industrial-aesthetic art museum in a growing list. It must hold its own through curation that complements the personality of the German capital and creates an interactive space for the entire community. After all, as Bonde noted, adaptive reuse should come with an “ethical dimension” to alleviate, and not worsen, issues of urban segregation and accessibility.

The brewery-turned-art-center will be fully functional next summer. In the meantime, the Rollberg microbrewery has carved out a small, functional space for itself in the existing building. It churns out craft beer at a steady speed, stoutly carrying on the legacy of its location.

MAYA SORABJEE B’16 is an art deco curiosity.

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

DOING WITH service learning in PVD

by Sara Winnick Illustration by Casey Friedman

it’s 1:00pm on a wednesday in the middle of July and Room 101 at Charlotte Woods Elementary School is completely out of control. Most of the 55 campers have abandoned their Federal Summer Food Service Program lunches for the open linoleum next to the tables, where they continue recess games of soccer, tag, and Miss Mary Mack at full volume. Though more than half of the 16-person counseling staff are over 18 years old, it feels as if there are no adults in sight. Campers climb on tables, windows, and walls.

This is BRYTE Summer Camp, a hybrid day program focused on English language acquisition for 7- to 13-year-old refugee students in Providence. The program is run exclusively by high school and Brown students. Its co-directors, Sophie McKibben B’16 and Sabine Adrian B’13, assembled the $47,000 budget (raising a quarter of it themselves); recruited, hired, and trained staff; and oversaw the 70-person operation—working up to 17-hour days throughout July and August to make BRYTE camp run.

The model of students managing non-profit organizations, or acting as full-time service workers while they are still undergraduates, is not limited to BRYTE Camp, or to Brown University. Recent data from the US Department of Education indicates that 3.3 million college students participate in community service initiatives annually. Fifty percent of colleges and universities in the United States have institutionalized service-learning programs, combining community work with coursework. BRYTE Coordinators over the school year manage 120 volunteers serving 120 refugee students.

The leaders of Brown’s branch of the Rhode Island Urban Debate League manage 26 student volunteers in 13 schools, serving around 100 students. At Yale, students oversee similar programs like the Yale Refugee Project and New Haven Urban Debate League. At the University of Pennsylvania, it’s the Community School Student Partnerships. +++ recent literature on service learning criticizes the problematic power dynamics that often accompany privileged college students running programs in underserved communities. As professors Caatlet and Proweller of DePaul University write, “the service-learning experience risks being seen as privileged whites acting benevolently to teach and serve those perceived as lacking the skills to achieve on their own.”

This “charity model” of community service undervalues the strengths and assetts of the neighborhoods in which students serve, and creates a hierarchy that places student volunteers above other participants in such programs. Michelle Camacho of the University of San Diego adds that volunteering as an undergraduate “can be a particular challenge when students are not diverse in their social class and ethnic backgrounds. ... The student body [at elite instititions] is primarily middleand upper-class, and predominantly White.”

At times as a Senior Counselor at BRYTE Camp this summer, I worried that I was working under the Teach For America theory of social justice—that is to say, assuming that if I was young, smart, and idealistic enough, I could make a difference in the lives of underserved students. Teach For America began as Wendy Kopp’s undergraduate senior thesis at Princeton University in 1989. Today Kopp’s teaching corps is comprised of 11,000 college graduates, working in fortyeight school districts throughout the country. With 32,000 alumni and a $2.3 million dollar budget, Teach For America pioneered the model of elite college graduates teaching underserved students as a theory of social change.

TFA’s stated remedy to the educational achievement gap between impoverished and wealthy students is “filling highneed classrooms with passionate, high-achieving individuals who will do whatever it takes to help their students succeed.”

The program arose out of a need to address teacher shortages in underserved areas—an issue that no longer exists in highneed districts. In light of demographic and economic changes, Kopp rebranded her organization, arguing that it exists to fill a void of quality teachers in such districts. Recent research on two decades of TFA, however, reveals that its teachers do not outperform their non-TFA counterparts. Furthermore, novice Teach For Americans do worse than their credentialed peers. Heavily criticized for its lack of training and support to teachers, I wondered if, as a BRYTE counselor, I warranted the same critiques.

One Providence education program that works avoid the “charity model” of community service and to address TFA’s weaknesses is Providence’s branch of Breakthrough Collaborative—a summer school staffed by high school and college students attended by low-income, college-bound youth.

Breakthrough explicitly acknowledges the novice status of their teachers, and institutionally focuses on student-teacher development alongside the development of its middle school youth. According to Providence Breakthrough Executive Director Dulari Tahbildar, Breakthrough’s two-fold mission—to support first generation, college-bound students, and to cultivate a new generation of young people committed to careers in education—is key to the organization’s success. Tahbildar explains that at Breakthrough, “everybody is a learner.”

BRYTE Camp, too, takes steps to avoid the problematic nature of the charity model. This summer, BRYTE expanded its Junior Counselor Program—recruiting, training, and paying eight high school-aged refugee youth to work in BRYTE Camp classrooms in collaboration with Brown Senior Counselors. Sixteen-year-old Meachack Niyomukiza used to attend BRYTE camp as a camper, but this summer served as a staff member. Counselors like Niyomukiza inspire younger campers to follow in their footsteps. Thirteen-year-old camper Silikari Bigirimana says, “I want to be a staff member because I got to see older kids being counselors and I want to be like them so I could teach the other kids what I learned from the counselors.” Sabine Adrian, one of the program’s co-directors,

describes the Junior Counselor program as “an example of a constituent growing and being a part of leading and decision making in partnership with Brown students.” Adrian believes it is “a step in the right direction” toward a “doing with” model of community change.

McKibben, however, believes that BRYTE Camp as it currently exists functions primarily to serve Brown students, and secondarily for refugee youth. In order to make camp more valuable to the Providence refugee community, McKibben envisions a different model, where Providence Public School teachers teach literacy and math to campers, and community members like BRYTE Junior Counselors and staff at the Dorcus International Institute run afternoon programs.

One such staff member, Akimana Abdourahim, school liaison for the Dorcus International Institute of Rhode Island, sees strength in the demographic of the BRYTE Counseling Team. “I see no problem having young counselors because kids are more easily relating to them than they might to the adults,” he says. “I think one of the things that I’ve noticed about the strengths of BRYTE camp… [is] the dedication.

When you think about our refugee populations, the most important thing is to be dedicated.” +++ we were certainly dedicated. The first week of summer camp, after exiting Charlotte Woods Elementary by our 4PM deadline, we sat outside the school, basking in the bright rays of mid-afternoon sunlight, debriefing for multiple hours what could have gone better at camp that day. Something no amount of dedication could make up for, however, was the fact that I am American and do not speak Kunama, Kerin, or Nepali. Or the fact that I’m 20 years old and not certified in teaching or social work, and therefore at times had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

But I wasn’t working alone. BRYTE Camp could not operate on a charity model. This summer it was not possible for me to do something for, as opposed to with, the BRYTE Camp community because on my own, I was ineffective. I could not create a curriculum to teach without first asking my campers what they wanted to learn. If I had, they would not have listened. By imparting my knowledge of the English language, I simultaneously had to learn larger lessons about teaching and communication to be successful. If I wanted to accomplish anything—even a task as small as ending an impromptu recess revival in the cafeteria on a Wednesday afternoon—I needed help. Often it was not the Senior Counselors or even the Junior Counselors who got the soccer stars, the jump-ropers, or the window dancers to settle down for afternoon activity. It was Silikari and his 13-year-old peers, counting to three and singing “There was a great big moose” over the noise of the humming cafeteria, who officiated a pause in the scrimmage, an end to the hand game, and the chorused response of “He liked to drink a lot of juice” that ultimately settled the room.

SARA WINNICK B’15 is a learner.

NovemBER 22 2013

metro█ 12

the actualities local film in the 20th century

by Ann Kremen

the projector flicks on and the image on the screen comes into focus. The screen is filled with men, wearing bowler hats and page-boy caps, shabby jackets over vests, and protruding neckties. The men mug at the camera as they walk past it out of a run-down brick archway, behind them smokestacks spout grey clouds of coal-dust. The image is in black and white, there is no sound, and the camera doesn’t move. Women join the crowd, clutching woolen shawls around their shoulders, and young men and boys, more likely to smile and wave at the audience. After 43 seconds a new shot appears; a crowd again, but this time downtown. Men and women stand on the sides of the road, waiting to cross in front of a continuous stream of trolley cars and horse-drawn carts and carriages.

Women in skirts skimming the pavement, men in top hats. In the next shot, a boy stands centered amid a group of men, cut off at the shoulders and knees. The boy is dressed all in white and looks grim. He is lifted, displayed for the cameraman by a showman, who then produces admission passes for the screening that evening and distributes them throughout the crowd.

Similar shots follow, always overflowing with people, crowds milling and moving.

The audience watches rapt, packed into the dimly lit tent, one side of which is taken over by a massive screen. They have seen films like this for several years, and the spectacle of moving images is in itself no longer enough to keep them coming back – there are only so many variations on an Arrival of a Train at a Station (1895), or Panormaic View of the Champs Elysees (1902) to be seen before even these marvels become rote. But now what they are seeing on the big screen for the first time is themselves. +++ it is almost impossible to imagine going to a movie theater and seeing yourself on the screen. This is the promise traveling filmmakers working in fairgrounds and meeting halls at the turn of the 20th Century made to their audiences. In cinema’s early years, films were typically shown as part of larger spectacles at communal gatherings. Showmen would travel with fairs around to towns and cities, setting up tents from which to screen films as staples in variety shows, sometimes in conjunction with live acts. These first films foregrounded the newness of the cinematic medium, highlighting the movie camera’s ability to show the movement of life, to represent foreign places as though they were present, or to trick the eye.

Around the turn of the 20th century, two showman-producers in Northern England, Sagar Mitchell and James Kenyon, developed a new attraction to add to their spectacular repertoires: the local film. Where the dominant genres of early film, actualities and trick films, proffered a spectacle of otherness through depictions of magical or mystical landscapes and ways of seeing the world, local films produced the opposite effect, making the normal and everyday into a fantastic spectacle.

Local films were also a sure way to draw a crowd. By filming crowds leaving work, or in the center of the town during the busiest time of day, Mitchell and Kenyon ensured that large numbers of people appeared in their films, and these

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crowds constituted a ready-made audience, easily lured back to the showings with the promise of seeing themselves on screen. The primary motivation for these filmmakers was commercial. They filmed in visible locations, advertising that the film would be screened locally and at times even on the same day. For many of the audience-participants of local films, this would have been their first, in some cases their only, opportunity to become the subject of cinema. This was the irresistible lure that kept bodies frozen in front of the lens and audiences lined up for the box office.

This practice created a body of place-specific local films, whose defining characteristic is the immediate connection— geographically, temporally, and socially—between what the people were shown on film and the audience. It was also a body of films, which, although they now provide an incredibly rich and telling historical document, were originally produced not with an eye towards the future, but instead towards the cash register.

Local film practices moved out of the fairgrounds and into movie theaters with mainstream Hollywood fare. As the techniques of local filmmaking emerged in different contexts, different producers within the genre found different motivations for producing them. For Charlie Silveus, a film buff who ran the movie theater in his hometown of Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, the possibility of producing his own films proved too irresistible to pass up. In 1914, he purchased a 16mm camera and spent the next 15 years filming and screening “local views,” essentially, home movies for the entire town. Although his local films did draw viewers to the theater, Silveus was motivated less by profit than by the desire to explore the wonders and possibilities opened up by cinema, and to create films that reflected his community in new and surprising ways.

H. Lee Waters stands at the intersection of these two local filmic practices. A vagabond filmmaker, Waters traveled throughout the segregated South of the depression era, making local films of towns in the Carolinas, Tennessee, and Virginia. As a body of place-specific films, Waters’s fascinating views capture a side of American life rarely seen on-screen; the simultaneous communities that existed in the same physical spaces but were prohibited from coming into contact. Waters’ films also reflect the dual impulses of local film producers; to make a profit, and to represent a community like a modern home movie.

H. Lee Waters returns throughout his 1941 movie of Kannapolis, North Carolina to images of children, even as he gets pulled around the town in his attempt to film it in its entirety. Waters’ attention to children was a crowd-pleaser: Parents and relatives could easily be cajoled into paying to see a movie in which their kid was the star.

In a long sequence at the school in the first half of Kannapolis, children are lined up by age to perform the Pledge of Allegiance. The camera slowly pans over their faces. Moving from medium to long shots, it’s not hard to imagine that we are seeing the faces of every child in Kannapolis, except, of course, that all of the faces are white. A cut brings us to an adolescent boy and girl, uncomfortably holding two sides of a heart-shaped cut-out emblazoned with the words “Be my

Valentine.” They look at each other, look at the camera, the girl giggles and shyly ducks behind the cardboard. The shot dissolves into one of another couple, who look even younger, holding the same sign. In the background their classmates horse around and are quieted by a schoolteacher. These children-pairs follow one after another, each dissolving into the next. The final couple, laughing, edge away from each other, and the sign slips from their hands.

A nearly identical sequence appears in Part 2 of the Kannapolis film. In a medium shot, the camera slowly pans across a row of adolescents staged for its perusal. After several shots of students, the cardboard heart appears again, but this time the couple act as though they could be real sweethearts.

The girl grins knowingly at the boy, who puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into an embrace. This time when she hides her face behind the cardboard figure, it is not out of demure embarrassment, but because she’s overcome by a spasm of joyous laughter. In the series of shots that follow, the boys consistently hold their “sweethearts” close, the adolescents faces centered above the heart instead of using it as an unwieldy means of extending the space between them.

These sequences illustrate not only the awkward performativity of appearing on camera, but also the kinds of tropes that local filmmakers employed to draw crowds to their shows. Whether the film was made for black or white audiences, Waters emphasizes children’s faces. One can imagine a parent’s exclamation of identification—“That’s my girl”—or the the half-jokes the young couples must have been subjected to in the theater.

These are responses typical of home movies. In home movies, we perform for cameras held by our parents, siblings, or relatives, and we watch these movies expecting to see our loved ones and ourselves. We laugh or groan when we recognize familiar figures, talk amongst ourselves, become embarrassed, and are moved in ways that would be unthinkable in front of a Hollywood screen. Home movies are not films (with all the pretention and smugness with which that term can be endowed) – they are not serious dramas, riveting examples of cinematic mastery, narrative absorption, and unblinking reverence. Home movies are fun, or embarrassing, or sad. They are memory texts, overburdened by the specific context in which they were made. But, mostly, home movies are boring. +++ we overvalue and undermine an experience of the local, of our immediate community. All attempts to produce localized social groupings, whether to grow food or produce other commodities, try to reproduce social formations which were dissolving at exactly the same time that local films emerged as cultural objects. Films that are today termed “local,” usually independently produced, low-budget narrative or documentary movies, do not feature the local with the immediacy or simultaneity found in earlier instances of the form. In the blockbuster’s economy of the visual, local films are disinteresting precisely because they show us what we think we already know; they show us ourselves, our real selves, and our real community and geography, rather than an idealization of those things.

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Society for Ethical Culture 64th Street, Central Park West.

250 people are standing up in pews, clapping. The demographic is that of the controlled diversity of an evangelical movement: Young and old, healthy and sick, jovial and somber, mainly white. In the background on stage-left is a small band of flannel wearingtwenty-somethings.

In the foreground stand a man and a woman. They are leading the crowd in a Powerpointassisted, atonal rendition of Kings of Leon’s 2008 hit Use Somebody. The crowd, average age 60 or so, has just hit the wordless refrain. The man and woman on stage thrash about like summer camp counselors at a camp-wide sing-a-long. Their names are Sanderson and Pippa. They are the founders of Sunday Assembly, the fastest growing Atheist church in the world. +++ prior to founding sunday assembly, English stand-up comedian Sanderson Jones’s primary gig was working for traveling production known as ComedySale.Com. The show’s gimmick involved preliminary investigations into the social media lives of audience members to heap wry abuse upon them in front of strangers. Hardly one for pew-humor, Sanderson’s joke topics included semen dealers and the joy of simultaneously purchasing a copy of the bible and “Anal Adventurers 5” on Amazon. Pippa Evans had made her name skewering self-help groups in a schizophrenic solo-show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Later, she had a comedic hit in her “Loretta Maine” character, a send-up of a fallen, alcohol-frazzled Americana country pop star.

You’d be hard-pressed to find more unlikely prophets.

Sunday Assembly began on a road trip. The two comedian pals were heading to a show in Bath, England two years back when, in a boredom-induced epiphany, they decided they would “like to do something like church for people who didn’t believe in god but did believe in good.” This line appears in almost all Sunday Assembly interviews, videos, and services. Both Sanderson and Pippa identified as atheists but harbored nostalgia for church as a place to find community, participate in uplifting rituals, and feel intimately connected to a larger enterprise. They wagered that there would be many more atheists like them: turned off by God-speak but eager to attend something like an “atheist church.”

Atheist community organizations are nothing new. Societies for skeptics, humanists, atheists, and secularists abound. Typically, these community organizations offer lectures, community service trips, and occasional social events. What makes Sunday Assembly and its “atheist church” model unique is the way it explicitly and unabashedly appropriates the ritualistic and aesthetic trappings of religious church. In a New York Times editorial, the two write: “church has got so many awesome things going for it (which we’ve shamelessly nicked). Singing together in a group? Super. Hearing interesting things? Rad...A moment to think quietly about your life? Wizard. Getting to know your neighbors? Ace.” +++ The Sunday Assembly first assembled this past January, occupying unoccupied churches around London. Stage veterans Sanderson and Pippa ran these events as priestly comedians, uninhibited and in control of the crowd. Almost immediately, the turnout far exceeded expectations, confirming the co-founder’s hypothesis that atheist church would be more than a fleeting gag.

Before launching, the co-founders wrote a charter. The values in the charter succinctly voice why atheist church could be more appealing than atheist living room. The charter claims that Sunday Assembly has no doctrine (meaning no set texts), no deity (“but we won’t tell you you’re wrong if you do”), is inclusive to everyone (“regardless of religious belief ”), free and volunteer-run, dedicated to community service, and not prescriptive of any lifestyle choices. Finally, the charter highlights the Sunday Assembly’s mission to provide a place for quotidian solace when “life can be tough” and “provoke kindness and inject a touch of transcendence into the everyday”.

To join Sunday Assembly, local groups would have to sign the charter. This was no longer to be exclusively the Sanderson & Pippa show. Soon, chapters popped up all over England, from Manchester to Bristol. Outside of the UK, the first Sunday Assemblies

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sprouted up in Melbourne, New York City and Los Angeles in June, July, and August respectively. Sanderson predicts 2013 will end with forty running Assemblies. Currently, the site’s forum has threads from six continents, run by Atheists looking to forge their own Assemblies. From Stockholm to Lima, Capetown to Silicon Valley, Atheists are looking to “live better, help often, wonder more”—the Sunday Assembly motto.

Of course, it would take more than a charter to realize the Sunday Assembly’s vision of a global network of atheist churches. The charter had to become a seat of a more finetuned brand and elaborate institutional structure. Behold: Gone is the soggy, green-clover logo of the old Sunday Assembly. In its place, an etched isosceles triangle with a sans serif typeface overlaid upon warmly-lit shots of young faces with grins that are part goofy, part ecstatic.

This idea of the Sunday Assembly “brand” highlights a crucial fact: Sunday Assembly, despite its meta-generic name, is an organization borrowing the institutional structure of a branched church. The co-founders, for their part, understand “atheist church” as borrowing the ceremonial form of a progressive protestant church service. Yet Sunday Assembly’s growth plan suggests that “atheist church” could also be understood to resemble an atheist version of a large evangelical mega-church. The founders demand that member organizations identify as a Sunday Assembly “City,” use the provided branding materials, use approved “themes” for the individual Assemblies, and report their progress back to the central Sunday Assembly operation. This, of course, with the 21st century imperative of an active social media front. +++ The first reader of the night ascends the stage with a ukulele. In an affectedly tender voice—a hybrid between yoga instructor and grade school teacher—she asks the audience if anybody has ever heard of “Stone Soup.” The congregation issues a slightly disingenuous sympathy in their assent. Then, reading with the gentle but sinister charisma of the Leader’s Wife, she quickly evacuates the room of the residual irony of Sanderson’s cheeky shenanigans. Precious ukulele noodlings usher in the story’s platitudinous-pushing-sappy message.

Disarmed by Sanderson and prepared by the psychic cues of the secular-holy interior filled with patient-listening faces, my cynicism is fading. The stupidity of the reading is irrelevant. Critical intelligence is suspended. The tenderness in the room feels and is meant to feel holy.

The second reader begins her speech by querying the congregation for a childhood spent on a farm. Three of 250 raise their hand. Unruffled, she modifies her question to see who has “visited” a farm. The whole room raises their hand. “Lovely.”

What follows is a lengthy secular sermon. She exhorts the audience to return to the values of a pastoral lifestyle in which everybody “plants and harvests their seeds.” She is milking these metaphors for all they’re worth. After a non sequitir tirade against “agro-corporations,” she shifts away from a back-to-the-farm imaginary—that in this NYC context amounted to little more than Whole Foods romanticism—to extolling the importance of making everyday ethical decisions. Her speech is vacuum-sealed against ironic contamination.

Within moments of the conclusion, Sanderson leaps to the stage, lets fly a string of prosaic jokes, and has the assembly on its feet, ready to meet each other via an assembly-wide round of Danish Clapping. The atmosphere has grown giddy.

We are having fun. I am having fun.

+++

only several months after their founding, coverage of the Sunday Assembly appeared in all major print publications in the UK and US. Of this coverage, almost all of it asks the same question: Is Atheism a religion now?

Something specious runs through the media treatment of Sunday Assembly. The tone in these interviews, often underhanded and smug, is frequently paired with leading questions and a patronizing lack of concern for Sunday Assembly’s own formulations of

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

its work. Interviewers press Sanderson in thinly veiled, rude ways. RT, the Russian network, sent television reporters to report on this “bizarre new phenomena of atheist youth getting up on Sunday morning and going to church.” In an interview on the same station, a talking head cynically employs Sanderson to say that “atheists are a religion because they have an epistemology, a worldview.” A BBC reporter openly scoffs at Sanderson’s “big claim” that Sunday Assembly could change the world.

Still, we cannot dismiss the question of Sunday Assembly’s religiosity. After all, Sunday Assembly brings together mega-church organization, ritual, use of service leaders (the “MC”), quasi-theological notions— “wonder,” “awe,” and “everyday transcendence”— and Sagan-like rhetoric that asks us to “imagine if we combined inspiration, technology, and community to achieve dizzying new heights of human potential.”

To this charge, Sunday Assembly offers a two-part response. First, the Assembly has no “faith.” By “faith,” the founders mean a logically unfounded belief in a god-like entity with transcendent status. Sunday Assembly, as the charter states, “doesn’t do supernatural.” Faith, in this view, works as a first principle for constituting a religion. One reporter does suggest that Sunday Assembly its own faith, a “faith that there’s nothing out there.”

But for Sunday Assembly, a lack of explicit mentions of God, paired with questioning assumptions, means no religion.

Second, to draw an aesthetic distinction between dour, drama-prone faith and atheism, Sanderson spins a kind of cheery existentialism. The first point of the Charter is that “Sunday Assembly is 100 percent celebration of life. We are born from nothing and go to nothing. Let’s enjoy it together.”

Yet there is a critical deficiency in Sanderson’s answer. It doesn’t deal with the Atheists who charge Sunday Assembly with heresy.

Nobody has more viciously criticized atheist church than the so-called New Atheists. Well known for its incendiary figureheads, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris, New Atheism focuses on direct, often polemic, criticisms of religion. It is philosophically characterized by either logical positivism (the belief that all truth can be deduced from formal logical reasoning) or materialism (the belief that matter is the only real thing and therefore the foundation for our moral and epistemological universe). This is the camp that dichotomizes rational evidence-based science against irrational faith-based religion.

New Atheists view the appropriation of the congregational model and rituals as intellectual treason; a critical lack of fortitude in the fight against religious dogma. +++ Having completed the origin story, Sanderson ratchets up the enthusiasm. “There are going to be readings!” The crowd cheers. “We are going to sing awesome songs!” The crowd cheers. “There is going to be a moment of silence!” The crowd balks. A strange dilatory wry laugh bubbles up and Sanderson, astutely perceptive of the sudden sense of discomfort, diffuses by reminding the audience that he sees how the moment of silence might seem “a little bit funny”. Then he laughs and we laugh too.

What Sanderson is doing is crystal clear: He is playing religion. His hyper-saturated camp-councilor shtick constitutes a bizarre portrait of the self-aware evangelist. He is cognizant of the tropes of church and how Sunday Assembly uses these, making selfeffacing references to these elements throughout. In so doing he performs for the crowd a constant dispelling of their cynical intellectual urge to sit atop the service and witness its similitude in form to a religious service. The audience can’t sit outside for the very reason that Sanderson is already there. Here lies the essential dynamic of Sunday Assembly. It is the subversion of the classic religious cult problematic: Does the leader of the cult believe in the dogma or is his belief strategic (e.g. a bid for power)? Put simply, does the leader drink the kool-aid?

Nobody understands this better than Sanderson and Pippa. Sanderson’s twitter feed is awash with ironic references to this exact dynamic. In a response tweet to an Atheist critic, he riffs on an insinuation that his beard is cultish: “People with massive beards have something to hide…Yeah, their massive dicks.” In the crowdfunding video, Pippa sweetly says “It’s not a cult” and then there is a jump cut to a toga-clad Pippa spilling a chalice of wine over a submissively kneeling, and shirtless Sanderson’s mouth: “But that’s exactly

NOVEMBER 22 2013

what we’d say if we were a cult,” the two recite in a sinister monotone cult voice. The breakdown of the money to be crowdfunded has a list of things they won’t be purchasing: “compounds in Nevada, assault rifles, a celebrity centre, ceremonial robes, sacrificial altars, and a shrine to Sanderson Jones”. We get it. They get it.

In performing self-awareness through comedy, Sunday Assembly preempt critique.

This self-awareness, however, is a tightrope act. Sunday Assembly’s success rests crucially upon an ability to switch between segregated rhetorical registers, ironic & hyper-sincere.

The ironic is used to protect hyper-sincere values (e.g. Assembly themes like “awe, harvest, community”) enshrined in the charter that brought the Assemblers out of hiding and into their seats from cynicism, both internal and external. At no point does Sanderson as acting “MC” riff on the readings or the contributions of the congregants. Bitterness is not permitted.

This practice of irony is how Sunday Assembly can block out the New Atheists. They nod politely to the critics, and then wink to the congregants. In a clever prodding of New Atheism, Sanderson and Pippa conclude their New York Times editorial with an over-thetop ironic call-to-prayer: “Now, please, close your eyes, open your hearts and join me in a prayer to Richard Dawkins.” Sunday Assembly wants to change the polemic face Dawkins and friends have given atheism. While atheism’s current face scowls and scoffs, the new face of Atheism will smile and wink.

Nowhere in Sunday Assembly formal documents is there a rule that stipulates that the MC of the assembly shall be a comedian. Irony isn’t codified, though the comedic voice of the founders reliably shows up in the more authoritarian sections of the charter to make light of the structure. Wondering about this, I tweeted at Pippa.

Houston Davidson @houstondavidson @IAmPippaEvans Hi. Q about @SundayAssembly, What happens if MC is not funny? Could the SA get too serious? What do @sandersonjones & you do? sandersonjones @sandersonjones @houstondavidson @IAmPippaEvans @SundayAssembly luckily the speakers, address and reading are all entertaining. Its important they are.

Houston Davidson @houstondavidson @sandersonjones @IAmPippaEvans @SundayAssembly Is there a process that guarantees this?is a certain kind of empathetic irony necessary?thks!

Pippa Evans @IAmPippaEvans @houstondavidson @sandersonjones @SundayAssembly it’s about being entertaining, rather than belly laughs. Puncturing tension with humour.

Both of these answers evade the question. Sanderson says it’s important for the “speakers, address, and reading” to be entertaining. Surely, if told they were going to be hearing stone soup read aloud, 200 college-educated adults wouldn’t bother showing up to Sunday Assembly. When Pippa says that the goal of the MC is “puncturing tension with humor,” she hits the nail on the head. Though she doesn’t name this tension, it is the precisely the tension I’ve described: the tension of people cynical about religion performing religion-like services uncynically. +++ The Assembly has ended. I descend quickly into the windowless basement to privately and prematurely profit from the Assembly’s obligatory “tea & cake” reception. As I make to leave, I see Sanderson standing bouncer in the central doorframe. He shakes my hands like a can of shaving cream. I ask about an interview. His response, both effusive and dismissive: “I hope you liked the show”.

I boogie to catch the last bus to Providence.

HOUSTON DAVIDSON B’14 let the collections bin pass but hasn’t ruled out crowdfunding.

fEaTures █ 15

THE ORGASMIC FARM in conversation with bioerotics pioneer Terry Dieffenbach

by Greg Nissan Illustration by Julieta Cárdenas last week i met terry Dieffenbach at Dae Lim’s, a small organic Korean pancakery in Southern New England. In his acryllic-stained New Balances and ragged flannel, it was hard to pick Dieffenbach out from the swarm of college kids sipping cappuccinos with practiced flourish. Terry is best known as the founder of the Bioerotics craze, an attempt to take the ethical sensitivity of the organic farm and apply it to sexual experience. Dieffenbach is no stranger to controversy; he’s been accused of cultural appropriation on the Internet more than four times, so one expects to see him in court sometime soon.

excerpts from Terry’s approach, a profane litany of vegetable puns and pure desperation.

Dieffenbach: I can demonstrate if you like.

***

As he twists his moustache, Terry goes over to a table of eager liberal arts students passing around a copy of The Onion.

A guy with a “lolcat” tattoo on his left deltoid takes off his bandana, slicks his hair back, and says, “like, our pop culture is so absurd, that, like, The Onion is the only newspaper I can

GN: Thanks so much for meeting with me, Terry. I know you’re busy working on your newest project, so I’ll cut straight to the questions. What is the essence of Bioerotics? Give me a sense of its origin.

Dieffenbach: Our sex lives are horribly draconian, blatantly capitalist, and embarrassingly repressed. I wanted to free my phallus from its colonial connotation with a return to the gentleness of our sweet mother Earth. O, Mother Gaia, sweet deliverer of nourishment, gentle provider of— GN: I just don’t understand. It sounds like you’re adding theoretical layers to sex while practicing it just the same. I don’t want to make accusations, but it seems like you’re tricking people into sleeping with you under the guise that you’re some sort of ethical luminary.

18 █ literary

“Please don’t shower—the probiotic sizzle of your autumnal skin is what gets us going, man. And squash.”

“Have you ever had the legumes plate at Abysinnia? This will go down in a similar fashion. No napkins, silly.”

“I want to graze your pastures with the aimless jouissance of a goat, finding whatever edible treat I may. If the forage brings nothing to my mouth, let it be - I am but a visitor on this earth, suckling the Unpasteurized if I am so allowed.”

Dieffenbach: During my semester abroad in Toscano I worked on Project Sven, a 1,000 acre kale farm. It was impossible, no, unimaginable, to resist getting swept up in the cerebral and corporeal ecstasy of the organic farm. I’d spend the day on my knees, elbow-deep in the dirt, working with such vigor that the sweat of my loins would reach my nose with the musty tang of a good kombucha. I grazed the fields each morning with gentle sheep, stuffing my mouth with grass to obliterate the psycho-political division of farmer and farmed.

At night we’d open a bottle of wine, and, after brushing the dirt from our otherwise soft hands, we’d talk theory straight into the night. I’d taken a few critical theory classes in college, but never did I know I’d need them. In fact, they were the most critical classes I took. (At this point, Terry leaned forward and raised his eyebrows to let me know that he had indeed intended the pun). Derrida, Foucault, um, Habermas?

Those guys. Every night the interns were required to pledge allegiance to the farm, so I’d rise from the table, wine splashing from my brimming cup, and begin: “As we pick apart the semes of the land, as we ourselves gestate in the rhizomatic growth of the curatorial gastronomical experience, let us not forget the carnal sweat that has dropped from our brows. For our meal is a way of introducing the subject presumed-to-eat into the earth without the symbolic violence of special hierarchies or the outdated sourcing methods of the predominant hegemonic food culture. Let us devour this lamb with a sense of origin, of our common origin with it, of the common teat once suckled….”

GN: Can you explain Bioerotics a little more? I’m still uncertain what it does or how it works.

“I want to drizzle an organically-sourced plum reduction sauce on your farm-fresh body and devour you ethically.”

“Leave your heels on, provided they leave no carbon footprint”

***

These speeches took on an unprecedented sexual ecstasy for me. The philosophy, the stimulation, and the beets! So fucking fresh. I realized we shouldn’t let the movement languish in the fields. We should invite it into our bedrooms, provided it will graze there with patience and keep the carpets clean.

***

“Have you heard of Meat is Murder? Morrisey is misunderstood, but, I don’t know, he’s really onto something.”

“I know you’ve got a boyfriend in Portland, so this should be abundantly clear - eat locally.”

“To hoe the Valley of the Pussy Willow. One must tread quietly here, like an injured bear in springtime…”

“In the past, man farmed the land. Now we let ourselves be farmed by the land, to reciprocate the years of stimulation.

We will let the farm occupy the active voice; it is our turn to be occupied. I am removing my subject from the land. I am slowly removing my pants. I am slowly removing the subject from my pants… “ *** After forty-five minutes of grandstanding, Terry returned to our table with a smug look.

Dieffenbach: I got her number, man.

GN: Didn’t you already have her number? Weren’t you trying to woo her on the spot? trust.” They all nod in agreement, none of them ever having read any other newspaper. Terry goes up to a waifish girl in a Sleater-Kinney shirt, whom he says he knows from Seeds of Peace. Apparently, they’ve hooked up before, back when Terry was “unindoctrinated into the cognitive stimulation and politically salient activism of Bioerotics. When I was still a heartless sexual carnivore who would ‘have sex’ with women.”

As Terry approaches her, he calls out “Cecilia” while staring at his cell phone in his right hand, giving her the uncanny impression that she’d initiated the conversation. As he begins to court her —“don’t use the expression court her, this isn’t the middle ages, I’m trying to garnish her, to hollandaise her eggs benedict,” Terry interrupts to nauseating effect—I slip around the side to eavesdrop. “I will not assert my masculinity as the entree. I will garnish,” he whispers again to himself.

“Gaaarnish.”

I’ve truly never seen anything like what took place afterwards.

Terry ranted for about 45 minutes to this girl, whose facial expression barely shifted from its jaded scowl. Here are a few

Dieffenbach: Yeah, I mean, I guess. But don’t say woo, man, it’s so traditional. I was trying to WWOOF her, maybe. Yeah, that’s really good.

GN: Terry, that seems like a cheap pun, I don’t really know how that makes any sense.

Dieffenbach: I totally agree, man, it’s about the movement. It’s just amazing to see such a positive response to my ethical project. I feel, if it’s embraced, if I’m embraced and let into the hearts and bedrooms of America, we can undo centuries of misuse and abuse. As a white man in the 21st century, things can be tough. Everyone looks at you like you’re a villain, and I’m just like, hey man, I worked on a kale farm, my best friend in high school was Chinese, and I’m just trying to walk to Jamba Juice. Whatever happened to peace and love? Also, are there really secret flavors at Jamba Juice? Bottom line: girls are fucking loving this.

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

THE LIST Friday, November 22 Marathon Reading Aloud: The Driver’s Seat

7PM // 186 Carpenter St., Providence Not About The Buildings presents a marathon reading of Muriel Spark’s The Driver’s Seat.

It’s bleak, it’s hilarious, it’s unsettling—it’s 107 pages. It’s about a woman trying to find a perfect man. Feel free to come and read or come and listen to others reading.

Saturday, November 23 Huge Estate Sale

9AM-12PM // 404 Wickenden St., Providence There will be a lot of designer clothing. There will be evening wear, career wear, outerwear, shoes, jewelry and accessories. Proceeds will go to support Family Service of RI’s work helping children traumatized by crime and violence, students facing educational barriers such as absenteeism and bullying, and families in poverty.

Providence Roller Derby Championship: Double Header

Doors open at 5PM // Convention Center, 1 Sabin St., Providence // $5-30 The first bout starts at 6PM and it’s between Mob Squad and The Boston Trainwrecks. And then the championship bout will start at 8PM between Old Money Honeys and The Sakonnet River Roller Rats.

Final Show at Building 16

12PM // Building 16, 39 Manton Ave., Olneyville // $7 What Cheer?, Hard Nips, The Unstoppable Death Machines, Math the Band. :) // :(

Sunday, November 24

Boycott! The Art of Economic Activism All Day // John Nicholas Brown Center, 357 Benefit St., Providence (AKA Nightingale Brown House)

Boycott and divestment campaigns target companies and governments that support and sustain injustices—and posters have been a primary tool for educating about the issues and inspiring people to action. This exhibit features 61 posters from more than twenty boycotts. If you go you can learn about the role economic tactics have played in responding to injustices.

Monday, November 25

Passionate Knowledge Seminar: The Dilemmas and Anxieties That Shaped Modern Science 3:30PM // The Chair’s Office, Peter Green House, Brown University, 79 Brown St., Providence

“Modern science and modern democratic thought, so we are told, came to the world together. Both were founded on the trust in human Reason and its capacity to attain truth and lead to individual and political peace. Both espoused and benefited from the creation of an open public sphere, where Reason conquered over the passions so argument and evidence could be marshaled undisturbed. For both, Reason promised universal order: to be found in nature; to be established by law. This uplifting Enlightenment narrative is a myth. That it sits ill with historical facts has been noted: early modern science thrived under princely patronage and absolutist monarchs and its champions never shied from acknowledging their benefactors and hailing their rule. That it belies the philosophical order of things is the subject matter of this talk.”

- Gal Ofer himself. This talk might blow your mind. Come listen!

Wednesday, November 27 Frank Difficult Presents: Synth Porn 10PM-11:40PM // Empire Black Box, 95 Empire St., Providence // $4

This is only for adults. This is an audio-video celebration of electronic music for adults only. Featuring videos of classic performance clips, synthesizer demonstration mashups and erotic entertainment with synth soundtracks.

Plus new work by Maralie (of Humanbeast), live soundtrack by Harshboys and a/v performances by Gyna Bootleg & Dave Public, and “Appearances”.

Thursday, November 28 Thanksgiving Dinner

1PM-5PM // St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 50 Orchard Ave., Providence // Free (will offering) All are welcome. There will be a Thanksgiving dinner served family-style. There will also be a community fellowship an hour before the meal.

You don’t have to RSVP, but it would help them know how much food to make. Call (401) 751-2141.

Thanksgiving Book Drive

Swearer Center for Public Service, 25 George St, Providence

In the know? e-mail listtheindy@gmail.com.

Gather all your children’s books and donate them to Brown Refugee Tutoring and Enrichment.

Bring them to the Swearer Center. There’s a box in the basement you can put the donations in.

The drive will be running through December 2nd.

Tuesday, November 26 RDH Open Studio

10:30AM/1:30PM // 115 Empire St., Providence Artists in partnership with Resources for Human Development Rhode Island will be in their studios waiting for you. Resources for Human Development Rhode Island is an arts-based studio program that serves adults with a range of disabilities.

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