The College Hill Independent Vol. 38 Issue 6

09 Inside Guantánamo Bay

08 Recoloring World War I for the screen

07 Fiction: Money in My Mouth

Volume 38 • Issue 06

March 15, 2019

the College Hill   Independent

the Indy

a Brown * RISD Weekly

R

ly Week

A B row

n*

D IS

Contents

From The Editors

Cover Untitled Justin Han

‘Twas a brisk March morning. Our collective innards grumbled, as we approached the refectory’s gates. A newsboy, clad in dungarees and flat cap, waving a piping hot noser fresh from the press. His ruddy cheeks bellowed with boyish fervor—he sang, “Get your noser! Fresh Nosers here!”

News Week in $$$ 02 Zachary Baytosh & Sarah Clapp

When we opened its pages, a glass of nectar in hand, our jaw dropped as we read the fated headline: “New Issue of the Indy Just 20 Pages Of Word Association.” Unfounded accusations of pretension, nonsense, and verbal spewage—in this publication?! Blood, sweat, and tears are poured each week into this vaulted publication to produce articles of lucidity and insight. What libel! Without cause or provocation. Debilitated with anger we slumped in our seats. So lonely in the ratty, fork in hand, the Iliad—unread. Temporality, opulence, Taylorism, Narragansett Lager, UNITE HERE!, brother, MMT, inside baseball, interpolation, tote bag.

03 Everything but the Kitchen Sink Jesse Barber Metro 05 Building a Bigger Table Amelia Anthony Literary 07 Money In Your Mouth Tabitha Payne 13 3 Stories: Money Matters, Bean Soup, Horse Betsy Roy, Star Su, Lucy Qiu

-BM & NRS

Arts Unliving Color 08 Ben Bienstock 12 Tidy Futures Nickolas Roblee-Strauss

Mission Statement

Features Among the Iguanas 09 Jessica Bram Murphy

Ephemera 11 Which Providence Pest Are You? Claire Schlaikjer & Nicole Cochary

The College Hill Independent is a Providence-based publication written, illustrated, designed, and edited by students from Brown and RISD. We are committed to publishing politically engaged and accessible work. While the Indy is financed by Brown University, we hold ourselves accountable to our readers across the Providence community. The Indy rejects content that explicitly or implicitly perpetuates racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism and/ or classism.

Science & Tech 15 Power Plants Shannon Kingsley

Though this list is not exhaustive, the Indy strives to address these systems of oppression by centering the voices, opinions, and efforts of marginalized people in Providence and beyond.

X 18 A Brief History of the Rückenfigur Alexandra Westfall

The Indy is constantly evolving: we are always working to make our staff and content more inclusive. Though our editing process provides an internal structure for accountability, we always welcome letters to the editor.

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Survivors Have Said “Me Too” Marie Lachance

Week in Review Sarah Clapp Maria Gerdyman News Jacob Alabab-Moser Jessica Bram Murphy Giacomo Sartorelli Metro Julia Rock Lucas Smolcic Larson Sara Van Horn Arts Ben Bienstock Alexis Gordon Liby Hays Features Tara Sharma Cate Turner

Shannon Kingsley Lily Meyersohn Literary Shuchi Agrawal Justin Han Isabelle Rea Ephemera Nicole Cochary Claire Schlaikjer X Jorge Palacios Alex Westfall List Ella Rosenblatt Signe Swanson Will Weatherly

Science & Tech Miles Guggenheim

Special Projects Harry August Lucas Smolcic Larson Eve Zelickson

15 MARCH 2019

VOL 38 ISSUE 06

Staff Writers Jesse Barber Jessica Dai Brionne Frazier Eduardo Gutierrez-Peña Mohannad Jabrah Nickolas Roblee-Strauss Sophie Khomtchenko Emma Kofman Alina Kulman Dana Kurniawan Bilal Memon Kanha Prasad Star Su Marly Toledano Copy Editors Grace Berg Seamus Flynn Sarah Goldman Matt Ishimaru Sojeong Lim Yelena Nicolle Salvador Caroline Sprague

Design Editors Lulian Ahn Bethany Hung Designers Amos Jackson Cecile Kim Ella Rosenblatt Katherine Sang Christie Zhong Illustration Editors Pia Mileaf-Patel Eve O’Shea Ilustrators Sam Berenfield Natasha Brennan Natasha Boyko Bella Carlos Julia Illana Angie Kang Jeff Katz Halle Krieger Katya Labowe-Stroll

Sophia Meng Sandra Moore Rémy Poisson Mariel Solomon Miranda Villanueva Claribel Wu Stephanie Wu

Managing Editors Ella Comberg Tiara Sharma Wen Zhuang

Business Maria Gonzalez

MVP Bilal Memon

Web Ashley Kim Social Media Ben Bienstock Pia Mileaf-Patel Alumni+Fundraising Katrina Northrop

Signe Swanson Will Weatherly

*** The College Hill Independent is printed by TCI Press in Seekonk, Massachusetts.

Senior Editors Olivia Kan-Sperling Katrina Northrop Chris Packs

@THEINDY_TWEETS

WWW.THEINDY.ORG

WEEK IN   $$$

BY Sarah Clapp and Zachary Baytosh ILLUSTRATION Rémy Poisson DESIGN Bethany Hung

One-Student Schoolhouse Facing overcrowding last school-year in Cheyenne, back.” As to whether the broader distribution of educa- are more accustomed to half-zips than pinstripes. In Wyoming school administrators resorted to shuffling tional resources in Wyoming (or America) is fair, you’d the new professional world, where technocrats and students around the district in an effort to “maxi- have to ask a resident of the “Equality State” about it. their overworked personnel wear hoodies, wearing a mize every space,” the Casper Star Tribune reported three-piece suit seems less imperative to bringing in at the time. “We couldn’t afford to build all these -ZB the billions. new schools,” the Tribune quoted the chair of the Now that Wall Street has shown that it’s open to Wyoming legislature’s school facilities committee this Goldman Slacks following trends other than racketeering, it remains past September, discussing faltering funding, “so we to be seen if the (lack of) dress code will actually go decided we wanted to move more toward asset pres- The only thing that can fix the economy is more denim, into effect. Finance bros are reportedly flummoxed. ervation.” This seems to mean, roughly speaking, not according to Goldman Sachs. In a March 5 memo, Swaddled in Brooks Brothers since they slipped out building all these new schools for the time being. Chief Executive Officer David Solomon absolved of the womb, they cannot fathom what “business Someone must have forgotten to inform neigh- the firm’s formal business dress code, citing “the casual” looks like. There’s nothing casual about boring Albany County. Just this past week local changing nature of workplaces generally in favor of managing assets, so can business really be conducted newspapers reported that the Albany County school a more casual environment.” At long last, after years in salmon shorts? As for the women of finance, the district is planning on opening a new elementary of yearning for a wardrobe as free as the markets they change is even more opaque. They are already given school. Enrollment? One. The Cozy Hollow School is disrupt, Goldman employees can raise capital while vague instructions for how to look while scrutinizing the second one-student public school to open in recent bearing their midriffs, wearing khakis, or both. But stocks; are they also expected to wear the “Midtown years, and is actually a re-opening of a modular class- before his fleet of investment bankers can wander into Uniform” made famous by male financiers (gingham room that’s been sitting unused for a decade. Located an H&M and buy a velour shirt, Solomon wants to shirt, J Crew chinos, Patagonia 'Better Sweater Vest’ in sixty-ish miles north of Laramie, Wyoming (popu- remind his underlings that “all of us know what is and grey)? Or will an all salmon pantsuit suffice? The Dow lation 30,000) roads to and from the Cozy Hollow is not appropriate for the workplace:” you can do your Jones might be dropping, but confusion is on the rise. School are often so blocked by snow as to be completely insider-trading, but you can’t wear anything bejeweled. Goldman Sachs has long been known as a “white shoe impassable. “It gets pretty quiet in the winter,” the Solomon might have been inspired to bring chill firm,” a slang term originating from the white Oxfords lone teacher who lives full time at neighboring Notch vibes to the boardroom after witnessing the crowd worn by WASP men working at 'prestigious businesses' Peak (enrollment: also one) commented to the Laramie at one of his EDM sets in the Bahamas. Known on in the 1950s (according to Investopedia). Surely they did Boomerang, their local newspaper. She was at one point the circuit as DJ D-Sol, Solomon spins his remix of not mean “white Adidas.” snowed in for three weeks straight. Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” at festivals worldwide, Your typical investment banker may never Unable to move actual mountains, the Albany sporting faded t-shirts and Millennial pink caps. But feel liberated enough to cuff their jeans, but this County School District seems resolved to move meta- more likely, corporate leaders see that their analysts, Independent journalist is thrilled that she will not have phorical ones. They aren’t alone. Data in the Wyoming associates, and other agents of fiscal tomfoolery are to sacrifice style for substance when she becomes a Department of Education’s Fall Enrollment Survey overwhelmingly young, belonging to generations that Goldman Girl upon graduation (doing what is known identify twenty-two schools with an enrollment of under ten students. Together, the two one-student elementaries in Albany County are likely to cost around $150,000, the Associated Press reports, or $75,000 a student: six and a half times the average national per-student cost of public school, and four and a half times the average in Wyoming. After paying for the teachers’ salaries, the classrooms (one built in an abandoned barn), and the tank-like treads to drive through the snow, it all starts to add up. Still, it’s an amusing turn of events for the self appointed “Equality State.” Yet there is kind of a romantic nobility to Wyoming’s sort-of dedication to education, if you look hard enough, and, at this point, maybe school districts should keep building schools while they still can. Wyoming has historically relied on coal money for most of its education funding, money which is drying up. That being said, as idyllic as a school per child might seem it does not present a particularly practical long term solution. Neither, apparently, does anyone else. To quote a state lawmaker’s comments in a local paper (after voting against a tax to fund Wyoming’s indebted education system): “Maybe, one day, coal will come

at the Indy as “selling out”). We do not have to give up scuffed Blundstones, sweaters inherited from our dads, and beanies that don’t cover our ears when we give up our ethics. Maybe if the bro-bourgeoisie can see that being allowed to wear a crew-neck is not as calamitous as being caught profiting from the financial crisis, they will follow the path so boldly pioneered by DJ D-Sol and finally realize: you really can have the best of both worlds. -SC

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

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EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

BY Jesse Barber ILLUSTRATION Eve O'Shea DESIGN Christie Zhong

How Modern Monetary Theory reimagines government spending A few weeks ago, a group of children confronted a kitchen sink. Government spending is the faucet and jobs guarantee—a program that would provide a living Senator Dianne Feinstein to plead for her to make a taxation is the drain. The US government introduces wage to all people who want one. But MMT does not commitment to fighting climate change by endorsing money into the private economy through spending and just advocate for more government spending; it advothe Green New Deal—a nonbinding resolution co-au- drains money out through taxes. cates for more government spending in the right way. thored by Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “We are also interested in the question of distriThe flow of the faucet has nothing to do with how that proposes converting 100 percent of energy much water goes through the drain. This is one of bution. What if your sink is tilted one way and all the production to renewable sources and guaranteeing many places where MMT deviates from mainstream water accumulates in one corner of the sink?” Pavlina a “family-sustaining wage” for all people in the US. understandings of economics: the theory claims Tcherneva, an associate professor of economics at Bard “We’re the ones that are going to be impacted,” one that the government’s ability to pour dollars into the College, explained to the Indy. “How the government child told her. The children and the adults in the group economy is not limited by the amount of taxes that it spends, how it runs the faucet, how it helps balance the stressed both the urgency of climate change and the collects­—after all, the government’s doing so creates sink [the economy] really matters, because it looks like ambition required to address it. “There is no way to money. MMT, therefore, claims that the actual mecha- [savings have] been accumulating to one part of the pay for it,” Feinstein harshly explained. “That’s the big nism by which the US government spends is not a bank sink.” reason… it just doesn't work like that.” “We have the public financial resources,” said account full of tax dollars, as many politicians assume, If any of these audacious children were versed in when they ask, “Where are we going to find the money Professor Tcherneva. “We're interested in how to mobiModern Monetary Theory (MMT) they would have for Medicare For All?” lize the real resources to guarantee basic economic called bullshit. MMT proponents—some progressive “As a monopoly supplier of US currency with full security for people, like jobs for all, Medicare, decent academics, others lefty activists—say the US govern- financial sovereignty, the federal government is not housing, education. Those are some basic human ment thinks about spending and the national deficit all like a household or even a business,” Stephanie Kelton, necessities we think we can fund, and economic policy wrong. The US government could pay for large parts leading MMT proponent, professor of public policy should provide.” of the Green New Deal today because the national and economics at Stony Brook University, and former Mainstream economics disagrees with MMT on government can never run out of its own money. The economic policy advisor for Bernie Sanders, wrote several points, including how inflation and its negaquestion of 'how to pay' for big policy proposals like in a HuffPost opinion article. “Congress can pass any tive effects are created and the political feasibility of the Green New Deal is a misunderstanding of how budget it chooses, and our government already pays for MMT’s policy prescriptions. spending works. As President Roosevelt did with everything by creating new money.” the original New Deal or President Truman did with If an individual or a business spent more money in The practicality question weapons production for WWII, the government could a month than it raised in revenue (i.e., ran a deficit), it simply spend the Green New Deal or Medicare For All could eventually go bankrupt. However, a government How possible, then, is something like the Green New into existence. that has its own sovereign currency (meaning it is not Deal or the federal jobs guarantee? What happens In a nutshell, MMT supporters say that the govern- attached to any other currency or backed by a phys- if politicians start using MMT as their frame for the ment can spend much more money that it currently ical substance like gold) cannot go bankrupt for lack economy today? MMTers argue that the type of deficit does because inflation, not the deficit, should be the of money. This fact differentiates the US government spending that MMT advocates for has frequently been limit to government spending. Because the US govern- budget from state and municipal budgets, who must used in US history and can be employed today. ment spends by simply creating money, they claim that, fund their expenditures with tax revenue or borrowing “Today, some critics are saying ‘Oh, if we adopted with appropriate economic governance, ambitious capital. “You never run out of money when you're the the MMT paradigm, you know, the sky would fall,’” programs such as the Green New Deal can be paid for issuer of money,” explained Grey. “That's as silly as Tcherneva told the Indy. But she is quick to stress that today, simultaneously improving the lives of people saying that the referee in a football game has run out of we are already funding our deficits the way MMT who are left out of the private economy and combat- points to issue.” describes. There are plenty of examples where the US ting climate change. At a minimum, MMT explains If the government spends more money than it government has chosen to do something important that the US government has been underspending. At collects in taxes, mainstream economics calls this and spent the money. “Whether that was putting a man its most extreme, it calls for a complete revolution in “the national deficit." However, MMT does not see the on the moon, whether it was launching a New Deal in governance, addressing social inequality by providing deficit as necessarily negative as mainstream econo- the depths of a depression, whether it was waging war a job, housing, and healthcare for every American. mists do. The more water that flows out of the faucet, in the trillions of dollars, whether it was rescuing the The College Hill Independent spoke with several the more money there is for everyone in the sink, the financial sector overnight," said Tcherneva. "All it took leading MMT proponents who have continually non-government sector. As Kelton put plainly in an was Congress to appropriate the budget." attempted to make the theory accessible to politicians, episode of The Wilderness podcast, “red ink for the Fadhel Kaboub, an associate professor of major media outlets, and Twitter followers—helping government is black ink for the people,” meaning the economics at Denison University, compares the Green propel MMT into the national spotlight. Presidential bigger the national deficit, the more aggregate wealth New Deal to the c0untry mobilizing its war efforts candidate Senator Bernie Sanders and newly elected there is for everyone else. during World War II, describing how, in the months Representative Ocasio-Cortez have both had “There are a lot of deficits that we have in the preceding the war, the US government completely economic advisors from the MMT community. A economy,” Grey told the Indy. “We have a health care retooled the economy to produce weapons at a historic Huffington Post article published in October called it provisioning deficit. We have an education provisions rate, reaching full employment and beyond. Price the “Biggest Idea in Washington.” deficit. We have a housing supply deficit. There are a controls and wartime bonds were used to release inflalot of deficits that are bad, but the government deficit tionary pressures and the US economy and quality of MMT and the faucet model is just a record of the money that has been spent into living skyrocketed because of jobs that the governthe economy minus the money that's been taken back ment spent into existence—rather than funded using Politicians from across the aisle criticize the Green out.” tax revenue. New Deal by asking, “How are we going to pay for it?” Kaboub advocates for the government to treat our The real indicator of excessive government MMT says that this approach to government spending spending, MMTers say, is inflation. If the dollars in the current situation similarly. Instead of a foreign miliis a falsehood. At its core, MMT is about the nature private economy outgrow the ability of the economy to tary threat, he said, today we are facing a climate crisis, of money. Rohan Grey, founder and president of the provide goods and services for those dollars to buy, it an income inequality crisis, an unemployment and Modern Money Network—a progressive student- may cause inflation. Until that point, there is nothing poverty crisis: “We want Congress to use the power driven economic initiative—and doctoral fellow at inherently bad about running up a deficit. To return to of the purse like it did in 1940 to fund the Green New Cornell Law School, told the Indy that studying the the metaphor, MMTers say that the limit to how much Deal, to completely retool the economy and to allow economy without studying how money itself func- water can be poured into the sink should not be how us actually to win this thing, to fight climate change in tions is like describing the game of football as two much water pours out of the tap, but rather whether the next 10 or 12 years.” In addition, Kaboub said that sides, running around, trying to score points without the capacity of the sink can withstand the water that is by offering a living wage and a stable job to anyone describing the rules that structure the game. who wants one, the private economy will have to raise introduced. I started following the MMT Twitter-spher—a mix MMT economists also say there is much more their wages and improve their benefits to compete with of tenured economics professors and radical activ- room in the sink than people think. The government the public sector—increasing economic stability for ists—about 9 months ago after being introduced to it by has yet to test the limits of the sink and thus has missed everyone. a friend. Growing increasingly curious about MMT, I the opportunity to encourage maximum growth. With contacted some professional MMTers through Twitter, the unrecognized capacity of the sink, the government Orthodox critiques who were eager to give me their time, and I reached a has the ability to put into place ambitious policy plans conclusion: MMT envisions the private economy like like the Green New Deal, Medicare for All, or a federal Critics of MMT and the Green New Deal often latch

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onto the issue of inflation. The mainstream under- articles about MMT “the massive, coordinated assault” entity capable of providing jobs for everybody.” standing is that deficits lead to inflation. Deficits will by the “most elite forces of orthodoxy” and a “counterIn other words, MMT says, unemployment, lead to interest rates going up, which will “crowd out” revolution against the ascendancy of progressive core entrenched poverty, inadequate access to healthcare, the private sector and stunt economic growth. This is policies.” In another blog post, Larry Randall Wray, a and a certain quality of life are, in a way, a governwhat the majority of high school and college economics professor of economics at the University of Missouri- mental choice. The US government controls the flow of instructors teach and one of the central issues from Kansas City, explained that the numerous recent arti- money and is thus responsible for providing enough of which MMT diverges. cles from ‘neoliberal’ economists have consistently it for all people. They are obligated to use the monetary MMTers respond to such critics by saying that misrepresented the ideas of MMT and the arguments system to address inequality and poverty. inflation is more complicated than simply putting too of MMT-supporting economists, to which Stephanie Rohan Grey described a vision of a just economy much money into the private economy. “I have a very Kelton joined in with a response to Krugman of her plainly: “The key is we want to spend more money, but hard time finding historical cases where inflation was own in Bloomberg Opinion. Bill Gates called MMT we want to spend it the right way, not on bailing out produced because of a robust, extremely strong aggre- “some crazy talk” in an interview with The Verge, but banks, not on giving tax cuts to the wealthy, not on gate demand,” said Professor Tcherneva, meaning then agreed with its approach to deficit spending. funding the military industrial complex. We want to that increasing government spending at high rates Another common critique of MMT is that it is spend it on things that will actually improve people's of growth, and thus a possibly increasing deficit, will apolitical. While measures like price controls, credit lives.” not necessarily lead to inflation. After all, the $1.5 tril- policy, and taxation can address inflation, national For many, the Green New Deal is the first step in lion dollars of taxes just cut by the GOP did not create policy is rarely received with bipartisan support. Some the direction of a more just economic system, a system meaningful inflation, and federal jobs guarantee could critics fear that partisanship and bureaucracy would that currently does not work for many people. The cost only $350 billion, estimates Stephanie Kelton in a prohibit politicians from responsibly stabilizing the Green New Deal, Professor Tcherneva says, not only March 7th Bloomberg Opinion article. economy if inflationary pressures do arise. In short, attempts to address climate change, but also makes MMTers say that inflation occurs when spending spending more money is risky and the US political sure everyone has a “good job,” and a basic quality of outpaces the currently available supply of workers and landscape cannot be trusted to handle time-sensitive life—through a federal jobs guarantee. In that way, it productive capacity. Because there is unused capacity decisions. fights on two fronts. It addresses climate and social and potential for growth in the economy, for example Proponents of MMT have an answer to that as well. concerns in the appropriate way: together. the potential labor of the millions of unemployed “We are not so stupid that these critics of ours think A federal job guarantee, which is part of the people in the US, the economy has the ability to absorb that we are sitting around saying, ‘Let’s spend a bunch proposed Green New Deal and has long been increased government spending if it is spends in the today and then if something bad happen we’ll wake up supported by MMTers, has the potential to support right ways. Again, think of it like the extra capacity in that morning and try to do [something],’” Grey told those who are not served by the private economy. the sink. the Indy. “What we are talking about is designing a “Those people who are always stuck in unemployment With smart spending, MMTers claim, we can grow framework that already bakes in the way to respond in and become labeled as unemployable, which ... is the economy in the right way, serving the people who those moments.” Additionally, Grey suggested, laws usually a reference to women, minorities, people with are not currently being served and providing a quality can be passed to give independent agencies the ability disabilities, people who have a criminal record ... they job for everybody. Moreover, MMTers claim there are to adjust conditions as they happen, like the Federal tend to be the first to be fired when the recession hits a range of ways to address inflation concerns if they Reserve does for interest rates. and they tend to be the last people to be hired when the arise, including by regulating how banks operate and economy starts to boom,” Professor Kaboub told the by taking money out of the private economy through Money as a public good Indy. The federal jobs guarantee would help change taxes. They take inflation very seriously, but unlike that. “You take people as they are, where they are, and deficit hawks, they just don't treat it like a Boogieman While many MMTers support specific policy prescrip- you do on-the-job training if necessary, paid on-the-job that may be waiting around every corner. tions like a federal jobs guarantee and the Green New training,” continues Kaboub. “Whereas the current While some mainstream economists accept MMT’s Deal, proponents of MMT also have something to say system they say ‘oh you're unemployed it’s really your basic analysis of deficit spending, many disagree with about what our future should look like and the govern- fault.’” them here. New York Times columnist Paul Krugman ment’s role in a just economy. It represents a radical Beyond specific policy prescriptions, MMT advocriticized a few MMT-based economic conclusions in shift in the way we think about money. “If you under- cates for a new way of thinking about money and about a series of strongly worded articles in the last month. stand that the currency is a public good…because it's a the government’s responsibility to the people. “We are He believes that increased government spending while public monopoly,” said Professor Tcherneva, “then the wealthy enough to be able to provide for some basic operating at full employment could slow economic government has a very crucial obligation to serve the economic rights,” said Professor Tcherneva. “And activity. Lawrence Summers, in an opinion column public purpose… to employ the public's money for the that is the moral principle that a lot of us in the MMT for the Washington Post, wrote about the danger of a public good.” Grey added, “A job guarantee is a way of community ascribe to.” collapsing exchange rate, given increased government saying, ‘let’s stop acting like jobs grow on rich people spending. In a post on New Economic Perspectives, an or jobs grow from the private sector and start acknowl- JESSE BARBER B’19 sorta looks like Bernie Sanders MMT-dedicated blog, William K. Black called recent edging the truth,’ which is that the public sector is the circa 1961.

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

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BUILDING A BIGGER TABLE A look at Cohen v. Brown and legal battles over Title IX, in athletics and beyond BY Amelia Anthony DESIGN Lulian Ahn and Wen Zhuang ILLUSTRATION Natasha Brennan

content warning: sexual assault Lifetime civil rights attorney Lynette Labinger is v. Brown—in which Labinger played for the students’ men’s participation about 11 or 12 percentage-points sharp and confident, sitting across from me in an team. The plaintiffs were mostly varsity gymnasts, higher than women’s, whereas the enrollment of ornately-decorated office that disguises the kind of with the lawsuit’s namesake Amy Cohen as co-captain, undergraduates in the university was about equal. rfspartan fortitude that civil rights law requires. We’re joined by members of the volleyball and water polo When the Athletic Department made cuts to varsity at the Rhode Island ACLU’s office on Dorrance Street, teams. teams, they did so equally—the same number of men's where Labinger has been recently entrenched in the “Suing the school was a last resort,” said Lisa Stern and women’s teams were cut (two each). contentious fight for the Reproductive Health Care Kaplowitz, one of the plaintiffs in the suit and former According to the federal Office of Civil Rights’ Act (RHCA), the bill codifying Roe v. Wade into Rhode varsity gymnast recently inducted into Brown’s Hall of official Policy Interpretation, in order to be in compliIsland state law passed by the Rhode Island House Fame, in an interview with the Independent. She recalls ance with Title IX, “intercollegiate level participation of Representatives last week. She’s no stranger to having to hand-sew her teammate’s practice uniforms opportunities for male and female students” needed to tough fights—almost three decades before the RHCA, due to a lack of funding, and an infamous bus ride in be “provided in numbers substantially proportionate Labinger took on Brown University, representing the New England weather where the door wouldn’t to their respective enrollments.” students in a mammoth Title IX case that stemmed fully close. The main arguments concerned how to count. from cuts to women’s varsity teams in 1991. Cohen v. Brown would go on to define how athletics Labinger’s team said that the percentages of men and Title IX prohibits discrimination on the basis of departments manage participation opportunities at women competing in varsity sports should match sex at all levels of federally-funded educational insti- Brown and surrounding universities. Almost 30 years those of the undergraduate enrollment. Brown, on the tutions; however, it has historically been most visible later, following recent federal announcements of other hand, argued that the “participation opportunifor its gender equality protections within collegiate changes to the ways universities must interpret Title ties” at the time reflected student interest in athletics, athletics. While Brown University, on its website, IX regarding sexual and gender-based violence, this and that men had more interest than women. The currently boasts the “largest [athletics] program for case exemplifies the complexity of the law’s impact on university also rejected this idea of strict proportionwomen” in the nation with 21 varsity teams, it was gender equity in higher education. ality, claiming that it created quotas and stated in a entangled in a Title IX athletics case from 1992 to post-hearing memorandum “Title IX is not an affirma1998. Labinger’s case, Cohen v. Brown, was brought +++ tive action statute.” by students against the university, which announced In the first trial in 1992, the plaintiffs asked for demotions for four sports teams in 1991 for financial “The message was, this happens, we point out Title IX and were granted a preliminary injunction, which reasons. Women’s gymnastics and volleyball, as well to them, and they put the teams back—except ours,” restored their teams to varsity status. Brown fruitlessly as men’s golf and water polo, were no longer to be Labinger said in a recent interview with the Indy, refer- appealed the injunction in 1993. The second round of offered at the varsity level. According to a Brown Daily ring to the initial mindset of the plaintiffs. “We had not trials took place in 1995, and Brown would once again Herald article at the time, the cuts were supposed to started looking into anything about the team structure, appeal a lower court’s decision in the plaintiffs’ favor. save the university about $75,000 annually. The cut how well they were supported, and how other teams After the First Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the teams were allowed to compete at the “club varsity” were supported.” Throughout the course of the case, lower court ruling, Brown even attempted to appeal level, surviving only on private funding. however, Labinger’s team of civil rights lawyers would again to the Supreme Court in 1997, a petition that was However, this relatively small amount of savings discover an overall disparity in support for women’s rejected. came at a large cost to the university, as affected athletic program. They deposed all the coaches on the Cohen v. Brown was the first Title IX case of its students subsequently filed a class-action lawsuit men’s and women’s teams and examined equipment, type to receive an appellate court decision. The Civil against Brown for an alleged Title IX violation. Brown budgets, and practice schedules. Rights division of the Department of Justice even filed chose to fight the case instead of settling, and so At the time of the suit, Brown had large partici- an amicus curiae brief in support of the plaintiffs in the began a lengthy and expensive legal battle—Cohen pation across the board on varsity sports teams, with appeals court.

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"No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance."

- Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of 1972

“By the time we settled the case, it wasn’t just for each gender reflect the undergraduate enrollment courtrooms. As Brown University President Christina women’s volleyball and gymnastics that got restored,” of each gender within a margin of 3.5 percent, and Paxson stated in her response letter to these changes, said Labinger. “We also got women’s water polo and Labinger’s team calculates these percentages each this shift “may deter students from reporting sexual women’s skiing.” In the years after the settlement, year to ensure the university stays accountable to its misconduct,” and “campus disciplinary proceedings Brown’s athletic department additionally developed women athletes. are not, and cannot ever be, substitutes for or analogs to varsity women’s golf and equestrian teams. Men’s golf +++ courts of law.” Rhode Island Governor Gina Raimondo and water polo were also restored. and Postsecondary Education Commissioner Brenda “We’re not playing musical chairs on a finite table,” Title IX is a single sentence, without any mention of Dann-Messier also sent in a letter in opposition of the Labinger said, referring to the amounts of teams in the the word “athletics.” In 1974, in order to calm fears changes. athletic department’s budget. “We’re talking about that Title IX would lead to the "possible doom of interHowever, in a city as full of colleges as Providence building a bigger table.” collegiate sports," as the head of the NAACP Walter is, some sort of uniformity across schools could be The desired effect of Cohen v. Brown, in line with Byers put it, Texas Senator John Tower proposed an beneficial. Providence-based criminal defense lawyer the results it achieved at Brown, was for schools to amendment to exempt athletics from the scope of the John Grasso wrote in a Providence Journal opinion bolster their women’s athletic departments, matching law. Congress rejected the Tower Amendment and article last year that “campus sexual misconduct is investment in men's programs. However, this response instead mandated that the Department of Health, handled much differently at Providence College than wasn’t universal. Providence College, for example, Education and Welfare develop regulations on how to it is at Brown University than it is at the University of ended up cutting their men’s varsity baseball team apply the law to athletics. Today, Title IX’s teeth come Rhode Island.” Grasso concluded, “In my experience, in 1998 to get their athletic participation numbers in from Policy Interpretations, documents developed in no two colleges or universities follow the same process proportion with their undergraduate enrollment. Rev. 1979 by the Office of Civil Rights that outline specific and the result is grossly disparate and inadequate Terence J. Keegan, then executive vice president of guidelines on how to maintain gender equality across treatment of the very students it intends to protect.” the school, told the New York Times in 1999, “We just its many fields. In 2016, Brown University was sued by a couldn’t risk that kind of litigation,” referencing the Alexander v. Yale in 1980 was the first case in Providence College student after she was allegedly costs of the Brown lawsuit to justify the decision. which sexual harassment charges were brought up sexually assaulted by three Brown football players. She In cases like Providence College, this ‘less, not against a university under Title IX. It established that claimed that Brown University did not provide her a more’ approach to Title IX can create an animosity sexual harassment could constitute sex discrimination, prompt investigation in accordance with Title IX. The towards the law and end up hurt both men’s and and was therefore a violation of Title IX. Consequently, case was dismissed in district court, and the decision women’s athletics programs across the board, argued most universities created systems for students to file was upheld in appellate court, on the grounds that Paul Whitty in a 2002 article in The Cowl, Providence sexual harassment grievances. third-party students are not protected under a univerCollege’s student newspaper. “The law that was meant Last November, Secretary of Education Betsy sity’s Title IX. to promote female athletics was only limiting male DeVos announced proposed changes to Title IX’s From establishing how gender equality in sports opportunities,” he writes, “Title IX” has become a sexual and gender-based harassment regulations. actually looks to constructing systems for survivors of hated term by many at Providence College and other Secretary DeVos’s new regulations include controver- sexual and gender-based violence to hold perpetrators schools across the country.” But Title IX is first and sial provisions as to how universities conduct inves- accountable, Title IX has been expanded from a single foremost an anti-discrimination law, and subse- tigations into alleged incidents. Specifically, they sentence to a sweeping piece of legislation affecting all quently, rulings like Cohen v. Brown are meant to rein- extend due process protections to these campus inves- realms of campus life across the nation. It has always force gender equality. tigations, including a “presumption of innocence been contentious and complex, from 1972 to 2019. Technically Cohen v. Brown is still active, and rele- throughout the grievance process, live hearings in the vant, at Brown. As part of the suit, Labinger and her higher education context,” and “the opportunity to AMELIA ANTHONY B’22 wants to be a lawyer. team still receive annual reports about sports partic- test the credibility of parties and witnesses through ipation numbers on men’s and women’s teams. The cross-examination.” In effect, these proposed changes settlement mandated that percentages on sports teams would transform internal campus investigations into

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

METRO

06

MONEY IN YOUR M

UTH

BY Tabitha Payne ILLUSTRATION Alana Baer DESIGN Christie Zhong

And then the money was in your mouth. So much money you were always eating salad, those pretentious, extortionate salads your father would have laughed at if he were still alive to be offended. He would have hated the ludicrous prices these new Manilenyo cafés calligraph onto their green Parisian chalkboards for salads with vegetables you’ve never even heard of, salads that you wash down with high-calorie cocktails flaunting their feathers like that peacock you and your father saw at the Manila Zoo once, the peacock who died years after he did, but when you read about it in the back of the Philippine Inquirer you wept anyway, like you were a little girl again, opening the door for your Tito1 whose mustache hung like an apology over his lips. Did you really come this far to just eat vegetables? A piece of arugula tumbles through your lips, the bitter taste stinging a part of your mouth you didn’t know was the yellow of the hipster string lights that hang behind swore you would finish what he started, and it wasn’t there. When you were growing up your mother would you. He wants to leave and buy the TV now, before until the money was in your mouth that all your words spoon the palengke’s2 day of vegetables, fresh fish, and there’s sobrang7 traffic and you’re stuck on EDSA8 the got swallowed back into a place deeper than a grave. rice onto your richer friends’ plates like she was embar- next hour and a half. You wonder how it is you caught That one looks fine, honey. This is your every rassed about it. The two of you would sit together such a good one. You almost forgot, you were here reply to the parade of near-identical flat screens you’re watching commercials for those bright red sausages because you’re buying this new thing called a flat judging today. But Jhun-Jhun is thorough, Jhun-Jhun you couldn’t afford on the little box of a television she screen, which looked like a regular television if you wants to live without regrets, Jhun-Jhun will pry the finally bought with her sari-sari3 store money because pulled the ends really hard. How nice it’ll look in our clerk until the poor guy pulls out every last television Dad said he wouldn’t pay to let that Marcos4 propa- new home. pamphlet and half of his hair. ganda bullshit into your home. And then your mother I’m good baby, you say in English. Just thinking. You are at the store an hour, and then two. Sitting would say, hush, don’t talk like that, and cross herself, That’s my girl. He scruffs your hair. Always onthe fold-up chair watching the televisions spin and Dad would say, well what can I say that’s worse thinking so much! through their umpteenth cycle of otherworldly video than what I’m already doing. And everyone knew this The department store is in the basement of a mall. clips, you feel your stomach grumble and do nothing. was true. And then she would shrink­—you envy that Despite malls never having windows so you can never You chew on some arugula you find between your she’s lost twenty pounds since all that happened—into tell the time of day, somehow your body could always molars. It tastes like dust. a little bundle by the television, neatly folded like a sense whether you were above ground or not. You hate You know what, Cora, I don’t care anymore, says towel at the foot of the bed. Now it was 2001 and those basements, you wonder why this is, and decide there Jhun-Jhun, who’s finally lowered them down to two. sausages were cheaper than anything, and vegetables must be some evolutionary basis to it as Jhun-Jhun They’re both great. Just please, pick one. pricey as schoolbooks, and every Filipino was stuffing totes you into the place, gesticulating about a basketA peacock flashes onto the screen of the one to the themselves with meat enough for the nation to go up a ball game you did not watch, and smiling a good after- left. It walks across the stage, brilliant color arced like couple pant sizes, and now that you think about it you noon at all the young, well made-up clerks who eye you the inside of a flame. And then it is gone, replaced by a wonder if that’s what’s making these 7,107 islands sink with envy for having reeled in such a prime specimen. white girl with whiter teeth, writhing in sand. deeper into the sea. And this is how you find yourself, You know they are wondering after the years on your That one, you say. That one is best. here in this upscale Makati café, pushing arugula away own body, wondering after how to poach him. They That evening a typhoon of people storm EDSA. with your fork, trying not to think about the bathroom chatter affectionately at Jhun-Jhun, and he never hears You wish you were out there with them, you hate scale this morning. Your fiancée Jhun-Jhun noisily the flirtation ringing in their gills. Errap10 as much as anybody, but there are so many siphons another square from his 12-ounce steak. Downstairs, sir, the clerks giggle, B2. people that you’re afraid to open the SUV door. The You met Jhun-Jhun at the law firm. He is confident, And so down, down the escalator you go. mosaic of hundreds of thousands of yearning faces bright, with a big smile that unveils both his top and You’re safe in the electronics section, where the wave like a flag against the car window. Maybe change bottom teeth. He’s the boss’s kid, a few years younger clerks are all men, thank God, and the place is still will really happen this time, maybe your fathers will than you, and devastatingly ripped like a page from a enormous. Like schools of fish, the fluorescent para- finally sleep easy beneath softening soil, and maybe all banned book. So at first you say, that’s sweet, baby, but I dise teems with mestizo9 families cruising confused that money will be spat out. You hold all these glorious can’t. And of course that all gives way, something about children in strollers, Koreans smart in blue and white, thoughts up against the light, turning them slowly in that ease in his walk, the puppyishness he brings to all and aging matriarchs with blue uniformed house help your hands. Yet the glistening images and thundering things. Although sometimes his intellect was wanting, in tow like an early funeral procession. This mall is chants of the people, which thrum and rise and dip as you needed that lightness when you were curled over frequented by foreigners, which is how you know it’s if coming in and out of water, somehow make you feel your casework for the umpteenth hour, folded up like a high-end and the bathrooms have toilet paper. The like mourning. All this movement happening outside towel at the foot of the bed. store is full of electronics nobody needed invented, the of you. You sit in the car for hours, glacially pushing Jhun-Jhun isn’t his real name, of course. It’s a play kind that are bought with excitement, used one or twice, against the masses, the brand-new television sleeping on Junior, and his real name is Jia, which you believe is then dispossessed into clutter cabinets for the lone like a baby in the backseat. Chinese for auspicious, but you’ve forgotten and you’re task of collecting dust. You want to beeline to where too embarrassed at this point to ask. No one in the the televisions rise out of the white tile like obelisks – Philippines goes by their real names, and this wasn’t their silky screens flash mangroves stretching out of something you knew was abnormal until you left the emerald seas, hot air balloons climbing, and chefs 1 uncle country the first time, when the firm took you on that tossing rainbow salads in slow-motion – but Jhun-Jhun 2 wet market trip to Japan on your last year of law school. That trip must stop at all the shiny things, like a magpie assem- 3 a small odds and ends store operating out of someyou swore you wouldn’t go because you knew it’d sway bling a nest. one’s home you. And then you went anyways, because it would Back when the money was not in your mouth, 4 Ferdinand Marcos, Filipino dictator, ruling from make your mother sad if you didn’t, your mother who would you stop at the flowers too? Hell, are there still 1965-1986 just wanted you to enjoy life, she never put any pres- flowers in Manila? To be honest, you never looked 5 child sure on you like everyone else’s, she prayed you would anymore, you were always in the car. You should 6 the Japanese occupation of the Philippines took place have what she didn’t. She would always say, anak5, you ask your mom, it’s been a while since you called her. between 1942 and 1945 and resulted in the deaths of do the best you can and you hope it’s enough. On the Somehow you lost time for all this, and reaching back tens of thousands of Filipinos trip, you wonder if maybe this is the best you can do. you forget what a flower actually smells like, and the 7 too much, very While you are downing the hundred-dollar sake you only scent that comes to mind is the French eau de 8 short for Epifanio de los Santos Avenue: Manila’s most do not think about your father’s father, the guerilla the toilette you bought last week. But you do remember important highway, which is unendingly inundated with Japanese waterboarded and chained up to die in a city that your father’s favorite flowers were the bougain- traffic and was the marching ground of two peaceful plaza.6 villea, those brusque flowers that bloom without revolutions against corrupt presidencies. The first, the And so the money was in your mouth. So too was caution, and the fuchsia ones outside your house were People Power revolution in 1986, ousted Marcos after the hundred-dollar Nigiri baring its belly of uncooked flourishing that day your Tito arrived with his hat in decades of repression and disappearances. The second, fish. You were not wondering why was it so expensive his hands. What news. You didn’t even know they had in 2001, is my first memory. I remember not undernot to cook fish when you signed your full name on the taken Dad in for questioning. Now you were lucky just standing what was going on, feeling a thousand feet tall dotted line. Your real name that your father would call to be getting back his body. Because of his activism, sitting on my father’s sturdy shoulders, looking across you even after everybody decided your name was Cora. you were used to him being away weeks at a time, but an endless sea of heads, all of us chanting, ERRAP In all its long-ness, you think the signature looks like it when you heard he was gone forever something like an RESIGN belongs to somebody else. earthquake came, you cried and fell onto everything 9 mixed white and Filipino Cora, baby? says Jhun-Jhun, bringing you down and the little box of a television came crashing down 10 nickname for Joseph Estrada, president who was from your reverie. His eyes are inquisitive and reflect onto the tiles. You buried him with his journals, you removed from office by the EDSA II movement

07

LITERARY

15 MARCH 2019

UNLIVING COLOR

BY Ben Bienstock DESIGN Amos Jackson

Colorization and popular history in Peter Jackson's director's cut of the First World War

About a half an hour into They Shall Not Grow Old, the opposite effect when depicting the men who fought the photographs and films, and this has created a visual new documentary by Lord of the Rings director Peter war. The soldiers are real the way wax figures are real; shorthand for understanding the war in its historical Jackson, British soldiers leave their black-and-white the execution is always slightly off, but it would feel context. Colorization initially jars us because it troutraining camps and arrive in color on the widescreen cruel and obvious to point it out. One cheek here is too bles this unspoken code and shows us that the past was Belgian battlefields of the First World War. The tran- pudgy, a mouth droops and bulges there. Motion is a indeed in full, resplendent color. This is an unequivsition is momentous even as the entire audience is crapshoot—a milky smooth face can suddenly smudge ocally good thing; in order to dislodge and replace expecting it; here is the moment where we are finally, with a turn of the neck or an open-mouth grin of black- narratives that prevent us from reckoning with the past more than a century after the Armistice of 1918, to ened teeth. Though the filmmakers sometimes do not as it occurred, new visions of history must unsettle us. understand the reality of the war as soldiers ‘actually seem to know how living humans look, they certainly Our ideology, in other words, must be shaken, and new experienced it.’ By restoring and colorizing newsreel know how to depict bloodied corpses, and therefore narratives must settle it. This is the process of history footage (as well as correcting speed discrepancies and make the poor decision to depict them a dozen or so creation: formulating and reformulating to move ever adding sound and speech with the aid of lip readers), times. further toward a truth we’ll never get to. Jackson attempted to “reach through the fog of time Anxieties over colorization’s visual effects are Authentic color images of events typically seen in and pull these men into the modern world, so they can nothing new: well before critics and theorists in the black-and-white upend our historical imagination not regain their humanity once more—rather than be seen 1980s traded barbs over Turner’s televised version because they show us that the past was in color, but only as Charlie Chaplin-type figures in the vintage of It’s a Wonderful Life, silent-era Hollywood purists because they reveal that people saw in color and sought archive film.” But colorization is never that simple, and supposedly said adding color to black-and-white films out technology that would allow them to represent though Jackson seeks to “bring the past alive,” adding was like “putting lip rouge on Venus de Milo.” But the the world with a broader palette than black-and-white color does much more than just that, if it even does it stakes are different in this case. No one needs to be film allowed. Bill Manbo’s Kodachrome photographs at all. concerned that They Shall Not Grow Old defaces the from within a Japanese-American internment camp Jackson, a New Zealander who dedicated the film legacy of a beautiful film past in a shallow search for in Wyoming, published in the 2012 book Colors of to his British grandfather—a veteran of the war—was 16-year-olds’ eyes and cash. They Shall Not Grow Old Confinement, force us to reconsider our distance from commissioned by the Imperial War Museum in 2015 does not ask what colorization does to film, but what it the Second World War and the era of fascism through to make a documentary commemorating the centen- does to history. the representation of blue ties and pastel pink dresses, nial of the war’s end. From hundreds of hours of the It would be easier to buy the film’s view of history if brown rust and green leaves. But these images stand Museum’s clips and oral testimonies of British soldiers, it were applied consistently throughout. Only footage as a counterpoint to black-and-white photographs; Jackson cut a one hour and 40 minute documentary of the war itself is colorized, making it seem that without colorization’s ideological attempts to restore that follows soldiers through the terrors and tedium of though Jackson wants to bring the past alive, the only colors that were never there to present the past ‘as it the war. past he considers worth resurrecting is that of young really was,’ Manbo’s photographs do not replace blackThough in the film’s post-credits, behind-the- British men killing and being killed. Meanwhile, the and-white images. Rather, they serve as evidence that scenes documentary, Jackson claims They Shall Not bookending depictions of everyday British life remain Japanese internment was neither a black-and-white Grow Old is not a “historical film,” it is nonetheless in the supposedly non-real world of grainy mono- event nor a color event, but an event that affected based on a strong historical and ideological argument: chrome, as if the stories of women factory workers and people whose experiences cannot be reduced to the in order for audiences to connect with footage of the schoolchildren deserve to remain distant. Regardless images that photographers and filmmakers repreFirst World War and understand the conflict as a real of what Jackson thinks, this footage is emotionally sented using the materials available to them. event, the footage must be colorized. After all, as the affecting, and the social history it embodies does But the colorization in They Shall Not Grow Old film’s trailer says, “The people who experienced it did more to reduce historical distance than any amount of cannot capitalize on the moment of unsettlement not live in a silent, black-and-white world.” But does digital color. because its representation of the past is artificial and colorization actually make the past any less distant, or When Jackson denies that They Shall Not Grow looks artificial. After the soldiers arrive in Belgium in make historical images any more real? Old is a historical film, what he means is that it is a war shocking color, the jarring feeling of historical unease Colorization operates on three primary levels: film. After the credits, he brags that he did such a good doesn’t end until after the credits, when Jackson shows aesthetic, commercial, and ideological. These three job with the restoration (which is true, though the best the audience how he colorized the film; only by seeing concerns are not independent of each other, but rather evidence is the few moments of restored black-and- the black-and-white and colorized clips side-by-side almost always intertwine: for example, in the 1980s, white clips) that he was able to zoom and pan to make can we again feel stable in our understanding of what Ted Turner, believing that teenagers raised on color the century-old footage feel cinematic to 2018 audi- is real. Colorization forever changes the way audiences television couldn’t stand black-and-white movies, ences. There’s something strange about mining news- view the original images and the history they depict, added color to his archive of classic MGM films to reel footage and photographs of dead bodies for Saving but this doesn’t mean that the new perception is ‘better’ attract younger audiences, creating new versions that Private Ryan–style drama, but what’s worse is that or ‘more accurate.’ If audiences walk into the film critics panned for their washed-out look and lack of though this choice may make the film more compelling, imagining the First World War in black-and-white and visual subtlety. Colorization is an ideological process it reveals the inherent contradictions of its ideology leave with an image of it as a high-resolution computer because it reflects the colorizer’s belief that the black- of colorization. If Jackson sees colorization as a way game, then colorization has not brought them closer and-white cinematic past would be more enjoyable of reaching audiences—only a month after its wide to the past at all. By presenting the colorized film as and believably real to contemporary audiences if it US release, They Shall Not Grow Old is already one of more ‘real’ than the black-and-white original footage, were in color. More than the other two, the ideological the highest-grossing documentaries of all time—then Jackson hides the artifice and ideology that support the dimension becomes especially significant when docu- aping the visual style of popular war films is a good colorization process. Black-and-white, in his estimamentary films, which are not only works of art but also strategy. But if he is trying to present the reality of the tion, is an aesthetically and historically compromised works of history, are colorized. war as soldiers experienced it, then editing that reality format that cannot adequately convey truth. But colorThis is not to say that They Shall Not Grow Old codes the footage as modern and fictional, inserting ization is an inherently flawed process, and its shorthas no important aesthetic successes or failures. On artifice where it is not welcome. comings may undermine the historical awareness that the contrary, the beauty of many scenes (including The irony of colorization is that it is a process that Jackson seeks to create. In the end, a black-and-white a gorgeous recurring shot of shadowed soldiers and uses overt artifice to make a film look more real. But past is no less real than one cast in wax. horses returning to camp under purple and orange all film—and all history—is, on some level, artificial. twilight) makes a strong case for the visually expres- We can try to understand the past, even hope to learn BEN BIENSTOCK B’20 has finally decided that it’s sive merits of colorization. The grass in Belgian fields from it, but we will never be able to experience it first- okay that he imagines the past in black-and-white. is not just green, but many greens that cascade as each hand through any representation. What does it matter individual blade flows in the wind. But while Jackson’s if historical footage of the First World War is in black precise treatment draws the audience’s eyes and and white? For a century, people around the world hearts to the natural beauty of the landscape, it has the have understood the war through black-and-white

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

ARTS

08

AMONG THE IGUANAS

On life and the pursuit of death in Guantánamo Bay content warning: descriptions of death and torture In Taíno, an indigenous language of the Caribbean men accused of plotting the September 11 attacks on At a group dinner, a man who lost his wife casuislands, Guantánamo means “land between the rivers.” the World Trade Center and the Pentagon as part of ally asked one of the VWAP coordinators what It is the name of a province in southeast Cuba and its the government-sponsored Victim Witness Assistance she thought of torture––an issue that is central to capital city. It is also the name of the oldest overseas Program (VWAP). defense arguments but is largely denied by prosecuUS naval base, established in 1903. Nearly 100 years Six months prior to my visit, I read an op-ed titled tors. “Waterboarding isn’t torture!” she shouted, face later, in January 2002, the base became the site of “Guantánamo Is Delaying Justice for 9/11 Families” red from rage and whiskey. “These men haven’t seen an infamous detention camp. The word has come to and discovered Peaceful Tomorrows, a nonprofit torture! Torture is your wife, standing at the top of represent a generation of violence against Muslims, peace advocacy organization comprised of individ- the World Trade Center, deciding whether to jump or of fear-driven reactionary policies, of crimes against uals who lost loved ones on September 11. Intrigued, I to get burned alive! That’s torture!” I am of the belief humanity in the name of national security, of excep- sent the article to my sister, Leila, and within weeks, that both can be defined as torture. I am also deeply tionalism, and of lawlessness. we met with members of the organization. Phyllis and offended by the use of pain to justify violence. The word Guantánamo is now synonymous with Orlando lost their son in the attacks; within weeks, terror, torture, and detention. A mere mention of the half-delirious from shock and grief, they wrote a letter +++ word elicits a near-ubiquitous shudder, or a groan. It to then-President Bush urging him to abstain from war. evokes images of blindfolded, handcuffed men in In 2012, Phyllis traveled to Guantánamo with VWAP. Restorative justice, according to the Centre for orange jumpsuits, people labeled “the worst of the Leila and I contacted the program coordinators and Justice and Reconciliation, “repairs the harm caused worst,” suicide bombers and radical Islamic funda- began our quest to see the place for ourselves, to begin by crime.” It is best accomplished, the theory stipumentalism, prison bars and military personnel, the to grasp what has been done in our father’s name. lates, through cooperation with all stakeholders. This American flag. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Walid bin Attash, community-driven approach emphasizes collaboraThe realization that Guantánamo exists physi- Ramzi bin al-Shibh, Ammar al-Baluchi, and Mustafa tive—rather than punitive—solutions to harm, both cally, not only as a metaphor or imagination, struck me Ahmad al Hawsawi have been charged with 2,973 within and outside of the criminal justice system. The relatively recently. Until last year, my mental image individual accounts of murder, for each victim of goal is transformation: by recognizing and acknowlof the place was analogous to my conception of the the attacks, along with a multitude of other crimes: edging harm that has been inflicted, communities can Bermuda Triangle; bizarre, amorphous, not quite real attacking civilians, intentionally causing serious work toward understanding the underlying issues that but with grave consequences. Last summer, I visited bodily injury, murder in violation of the law of war, prompted the perpetrator to act, build bridges, and Guantànamo and learned that it is, in fact, very real. Its destruction of property in violation of the law of war, heal collectively. remote location and shroud of secrecy do not occlude hijacking an aircraft, terrorism, and providing material I do not know exactly how this concept can be its physical presence. support for terrorism. My father, Brian, was a victim; applied to violent, irreversible crimes. I do know, Early on in my trip, I learned about the wildlife on September 11, 2001, he went to his office on the however, that violence cannot be the answer to at Guantánamo: the island is populated with hutias, 105th floor of the North Tower and died. His remains violence, and that the deaths of these rapidly aging known as banana rats, and Cuban rock iguanas, an were never found and I do not know how, exactly, he men will not undo the death of my father or other exceptionally large species of lizard. Soldiers and civil- perished. Instantaneously, perhaps, as the first plane victims. Yet, ten years after the 2008 arraignment of ians on the island discuss these species with a sense of collided with the building; or, slowly, as smoky toxic the alleged perpetrators, government prosecutors pride. At the island’s gift shop, plush stuffed hutias and fumes seeped through the lower floors, suffocating. remain mired in the pursuit of the death penalty. rock iguanas line the shelves, nestled between baseI am lucky to have been spared the sight and Evidence of guilt is compelling; the attorneys ball caps bearing the name “Guantánamo Bay” and scent of the towers in flames. When I visited the base, tasked with defending the so-called “9/11 five” do coffee mugs that read “Straight Outta Gitmo.” the prosecutors in the case continually discussed, in not deny that their clients were involved in the meticgraphic detail, the suffering that occurred on that ulously orchestrated and catastrophically-enacted +++ day. In court, prosecutors repeated the number 2,973 events of that day. Yet, of the 779 Muslim men who again and again. As if the scope of the accused’s crimes were or are detained in Guantánamo, only nine have I visited the naval base-slash-detention center to somehow negated the government’s own transgres- been charged with any crimes, and none have been observe pre-trial hearings for the case against five sions, its neglect of rule of law. tried. Hundreds of former detainees, all innocent,

09

FEATURES

15 MARCH 2019

BY Jessica Bram Murphy ILLUSTRATION Giacomo Sartorelli DESIGN Amos Jackson

have been released; after enduring years of torture and the convening authority posits as a threat to national part of the reason the case is dragging along so slowly: captivity, many live in exile, unable to return to their security, a button is pushed to stop the recording. the credibility of the accused's statements have been countries of origin, traumatized. At least six men have We entered Camp Justice early on Monday tainted by their treatment in US custody. In discuscommitted suicide while in captivity, and three others morning. After passing through three separate rounds sions with attorneys, I learned that Khalid Sheikh have died of other causes. Forty-one detainees remain of metal detectors and military guards checking our Mohammed (self-proclaimed architect of the attacks) in Guantánamo, including many who have been identification badges, we were given the opportunity claims to have suffered brain damage as a result of cleared for release but remain stalled by bureaucratic to approach the glass partition and take a closer look oxygen deprivation during the 183 times he was waterprocedural stagnancy and apathy. Some were teen- at the defendants before the judge appeared and the boarded. Mustafa al-Hawsawi, accused of transferring agers when they were kidnapped; eighteen years later, proceedings began. My sister and I stood at the glass, money to the 19 hijackers, suffers from rectal prolapse they approach middle age, graying with the stress of silently staring at the men accused of enacting the as a result of forceful so-called medical examinations; torture and indefinite detention. attacks that killed our father and many others. as a result, he can hardly sit without agonizing pain. The location of the prison in which the remaining Neither of us have clear memories of the day— My outrage coexists with understanding. In detainees are held is top secret. One defense team filed Leila was three, and I was five—so we experienced Guantánamo, I felt the penetrating shock of the attacks a motion to see the prison several years ago. Once the September 11 differently from the other members of and the unequivocal fear they provoked. I abhor the motion was passed, military personnel blindfolded our group, each one at least forty years older. My gener- reactionary violence inflicted on innocent men who attorneys and drove them in circles around the base ation has no memory of a world in which the attacks were tortured and held captive in Guantánamo, and on the way to the prison. That way, they couldn’t trace did not happen. We grew up with this reality, with its I mourn the hundreds of thousands of lives lost in the geography or maintain a coherent mental map. The consequences, with its weight. Although I feel discon- wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan, soldiers and five accused are also blindfolded on their way to and nected from the events of that day, and have only frag- civilian. from court each day that the hearings are held. ments of recollections, this historic event has indelibly +++ shaped my life. +++ At the end of the day, after court was adjourned According to VWAP coordinators, many family and everyone began to leave the courtroom, my sister members of victims would give anything to see these When I visited Guantánamo, I traveled with nearly and I walked back to the side of the Plexiglas with the men killed. Many would be thrilled to personally everyone involved in the case, other than the defen- best view of the defendants. We stared, noticing Khalid execute the accused. Often, pain motivates this desire dants, to observe or participate in the legal proceed- Sheikh Mohammed’s bright red beard, studying the for justice. ings. Teams of prosecutors and defense attorneys wrinkles in his face. We watched as two of the defenA woman who lost her brother in the attacks and their respective staff members boarded the plane, dants spoke to their lawyers, smiling and shaking and shares many of my beliefs speculated that those making small talk, as they do before each round of hands. They were alive: living, breathing. After a whose life trajectory changed insurmountably after pre-trial hearings, which occur every couple of months. minute or two, Ramzi bin al-Shibh noticed us, looked the attacks—for instance, someone who lost a spouse This process began in 2008; ten years and hundreds of directly at us, smiled, and waved, as if to say, I see you in the infancy of a marriage, or a child who never met court motions later, the pre-trial hearings have become staring. We made eye contact, then I quickly walked a parent—demand the death penalty. Some feel it is routine. Thirty rounds of proceedings have taken place, away. unfair for the people who killed their loved ones to go largely outside of public discourse and media attention. What could he possibly be thinking in this on living, decades after so many lives were cut short. The flight was oddly normal; the captain made moment? How did he end up here, sitting in a court- Others want the alleged perpetrators to feel the same announcements over the loudspeaker about the room in Guantánamo Bay, shortly before returning to pain they feel; the throbbing heartache, the hollowweather and predictions about turbulence, and flight his cell? How did I end up here, on the other side of the ness of loss. attendants demonstrated emergency protocol. Upon Plexiglas, craning my neck to stare? This crime is different from most: it was a suicide arrival, other victim family members and I were given In a meeting with defense attorneys, I learned that mission, and the 19 people who carried out the a thick “Welcome to GTMO” information packet and Mr. Mohammed—as the primary defendant is called— attacks—who murdered the pilots, hijacked the planes, a summary of the motions that were to be discussed once arranged for flowers to be sent to a lawyer on his and flew directly into the towers—are dead. The five in this round of hearings. We were handed the naval team when she fell ill. I learned that he prepares food defendants in this case may be culpable to an extent, base’s monthly newsletter, titled “GTMO Life” with for his lawyers when they visit his cell; once, he made but their activities were removed from the events of the subheading “Morale, Welfare, & Recreation.” It cheese by storing yogurt in an old sock and waiting the day. Moreover, the fatalities of the attacks were lists events and announcements, mostly for the thou- for it to ferment. Apparently, when he hears news of inadvertent; no members of Al Qaeda had animosity sands of military personnel stationed at the base and Palestinian children killed by Israeli military forces, towards the victims as individuals. Rather, the group their families, ranging from Sunday night bingo to Mr. Mohammed cries. targeted symbols of American greed, impurity, and dodgeball tournaments for military personnel and Political rhetoric and public discourse paint terror- imperialism; icons of their perceived threat to their their families. ists as non-human, as aliens. Another family member religion and way of life. Our chaperones, coordinators of VWAP employed on my trip, who had been to a previous round of hearThe death of these five men, regardless of their by the Chief Prosecutor, also handed us a copy of the ings, informed me on the plane ride to the base: “these involvement in the attacks, would not bring back my accused’s manifesto—a statement, released under guys don’t have two heads.” At least three of the five father or any other victims. A capital sentence would dubious circumstances, claiming responsibility for the accused are admitted mass murderers, yet they are be a symbol of martyrdom for the perpetrators of these attacks. Then they warned us: media representatives all people. It is a challenge to reconcile the humanity attacks and an empty victory for government prosecuand defense attorneys will try to talk to you, and you of people who fail to recognize the humanity of their tors. But there is also no chance that these five men will are not obligated. They also repeated, many times, that victims. It is a challenge to acknowledge the gravity ever be released. They will either die before the trial the defense teams were “solely responsible” for their of the government’s absence of humanity for its own happens or they will be sentenced to remain in detenrespective clients—the men alleged to have murdered victims. tion in Guantánamo Bay for life. A plea deal could end our loved ones. Despite these warnings, I wanted to legal proceedings that cost millions of dollars a year, talk to the defense attorneys, the people closest to the +++ but that deal was negotiated and quickly abandoned. detainees. The consequences of the tragedy of 9/11 have There is no such thing as War on Terror because War is multiplied across continents. Guantánamo Bay is +++ Terror. I first read this phrase later in the summer, after reflective of a false imperviousness, an illusion of returning to the mainland US, on a sticker in a hippy immunity to the rest of the world. Victims such as The makeshift legal complex––unironically named gift shop in New York, resting on a dusty shelf between my father deserve justice—justice that has yet to be “Camp Justice”––is set up to prevent any accidental or recycled-paper notebooks and fair-trade-handmade served—but propagating pain cannot be the answer. intentional leaks of classified information; the main jewelry. The timing was appropriate; the phrase section of the room is where the judge, the five defen- captures much of what I struggled to comprehend JESSICA BRAM MURPHY B'19 is still processing. dants and their respective teams of lawyers, and the in Guantánamo. This trial, if it ever takes place, is an multiple teams of prosecutors. Dozens of Joint Task opportunity for the country to hold itself accountable Force (JTF) soldiers line the room. (By my estima- for its actions in the wake of a massive attack on US soil. tion, there are at least three to four soldier guards per Perhaps that is what restorative justice looks like: using detainee, in addition to others who stand by the door.) tragedy to prevent more tragedy, using violence to There is a transparent wall, made up of three thick prevent more violence. This case can be used to underlayers of soundproof Plexiglas, between the court- stand the events of September 11, the factors leading room and the observation room. Family members, up to the attacks, and the government’s consequential NGO observers, members of the media, and a few responses. legal personnel who have not received security clearIn December 2012, the Senate Intelligence ance sit behind this wall. Family members of military Committee published a report detailing the use of personnel, perhaps bored of the island’s greasy bowling torture in the CIA’s Detention and Interrogation alley and monotonous kickball tournaments, are also Program. This 6,000-page document revealed the eligible to watch the proceedings. We can watch the brutality of so-called “enhanced interrogation” techhearings as they are happening, peering through the niques. I gleaned details from the report during my trip; glass, but we hear a recording of the proceedings with the issue of torture dominated the hearings and it was a 40-second time delay. If information is released that a major topic of discussion. Treatment of defendants is

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

FEATURES

10

WHICH

PROVIDENCE PEST ARE YOU? START

NOPE

YUP

Is the carrion rank?

Is sacrificing the brood acceptable if not necessary?

Are you afraid of wind turbines?

You like dogs, ya?

A rotting stump – will you consume the inhabitants?

Ravage the koi pond?

Hot pavement?

Saving yourself for wild raspberries?

Are you still sober?

The body of the Big Blue Bug reflects sound waves; are you horny?

Do you scamper via the IPS (Interdimensional Pipe System)?

Garbage water pooling under the Chevy Silverado, does it beckon?

A pale blast of moonlight hits the sidewalk... keep scraping by

shed a tear

HOARY BAT

CANADA GOOSE

DEAD ANIMAL

VIRGINIA OPOSSUM

COYOTE

You are melodramatic and would, in general, be unbearable were it not for your unconventional beauty which you deploy every now and then when the shit hits the fan.

You are stoic, dedicated, and prone to lashing out when you feel threatened. People underestimate you, but you could break a child’s arm if you needed to.

Your delicate leathery paws scratch for my skin. You were my light, you gave everything you had.

You are a tough nut to crack; no-one can get enough of you. You keep everyone on their toes with your forked penis AND/OR bifurcated vagina.

A Coyote. Jesus, well, you are adaptable and white suburban females fear you. You exploit and rupture the pathetic bonds they make with those scruffy loser toys they masquarade as dogs.

TIDY FUTURES

BY Nickolas Roblee-Strauss ILLUSTRATION Ella Rosenblatt DESIGN Lulian Ahn

The work of decluttering with Marie Kondo As we entered 2019, a push for dispossession caught narrow pathways through a house, while other homes Katrina’s case, pursuing her career and building on her the nation by storm. Brendan Hurley, manager of maintain a veneer of tidiness over jumbled drawers loving familial relationships. With a tidy house and a Goodwill Industries in the Washington, DC area, and closets. A delightfully eager Kondo (accompa- KonMari-esque relationship to objects, one can begin observed a 66 percent increase in donations to his nied by her charming translator, the show’s unsung to see a world where one’s stuff no longer precludes stores over the weeks that followed Netflix’s Tidying Up heroine, Marie Iida) enters each home and after a short self-fulfillment. In Kondo’s tidy home, the burden with Marie Kondo’s introduction to the streaming plat- discussion on the family’s goals, greets the house with of clutter dissolves, allowing for a fresh start where form on New Year’s Day. While an unforeseen national a moment of closed-eye silence. Then, Kondo guides equitable distribution of labor begins to be possible. move to declutter could be an unrelated spontaneous each family through her five-step process and we, the She stresses, in this episode, that the responsibility of action, this new anti-material effort sweeping house- audience, come to understand Kondo’s process of tidying is on the entire family—but in order for them to holds is usually attributed to Tokyo’s Marie Kondo and decluttering. Across the families, the willingness and develop that habit, they must build spaces around their wants and question their possessions. the dissemination of her KonMari method. Decades ease with which they engage varies. An obstacle to this self-interrogative relief is the into an era known for its ubiquitous consumption, this The first step in Kondo's process, clothes, becomes move to simplification reminds one of accumulation’s central to each episode. After piling all of one’s clothes shallowest embrace of the KonMari method: the drawbacks. Perhaps there is some irony to the show on the bed, one asks, “Does this bring me joy?” Kondo notion that Kondo envisions tidiness as something being a product, serialized in its form, that speaks illustrates how joy should make one feel by holding a regimented. While Kondo offers guidelines for the to this issue. And yet for all its roots in consumerism, beloved object of her own in hand and responding practice, the process self-generates, with all actions Kondo’s questioning of our relationship to commod- viscerally to her own love for this same object. In the of the family’s own volition and done in the absence of ities exists alongside a conversation with their real absence of this sensation, she suggests thanking it Kondo and cameras over weeks or even months. This purpose—tangible and otherwise—making necessary before letting it go as to assuage guilt or bad feel- reimagining by skeptics of Kondo and her ideology is social change no longer implausible. ings one might have from parting with it. This phase unfounded and ultimately contrary to the charming, Tidying, as the title suggests, is central to the demonstrates her folding, a throughline across the sensitive, and tactful approach she recommends to her show—encompassing the assessment of possessions, series. As in her book, she details how each item should clients. Twitter audiences have specifically criticized their placement, and their presentation. Kondo frames be folded all with the goal of visual order, easy access her suggestion that families limit the number of books the act as a step toward cultivating a happy home and and, of course, that elusive feeling of sparkjoy. This on their shelves to 30. A fear of anti-intellectualism and a functioning family. As we are entrenched in and general approach follows the families through the the image of book burnings ignite robust backlash to overwhelmed by the sheer volume of objects we live categories: books, papers, komono or miscellaneous, this nudge toward self-curation. But, while Kondo, like many people, enjoys the feeling of book lined walls, with, the cases explored on the show work towards the and memorabilia. Kondo sees an incredible waste of books remaining on alleviation of object-induced anxieties. A tidy house, Five of the show’s eight episodes follow heteromost would agree, is a space conducive for happiness. sexual couples (and thrice their families) naturally shelves unread, unshared, unborrowed. The KonMari method should not necessarily lead The process of tidying illuminates an unanticipated exploring the gendered dynamics of domesticity. aspect of how untidy homes exasperate existing soci- Even when the homes are found in rather unalarming to a minimalist household. In fact, if an organized etal disparities. We come to understand how people states of chaos, their untidiness reveals the burden clutter resulted, the better! All that changes: the tidyrelate to their stuff and how, in the absence of healthy of labor on the women who preside over it. The inter- er’s relationship to the objects. Everything, Kondo relations, some, more than others, must compensate to views with the male partners conducted aside from the argues, should have a purpose, and if that purpose is keep a household afloat. The domestic space upholds process exhibit mere annoyance or frustration while its spark of joy, that is function enough. One might gender roles that delegate the emotional burden of the moments with the female partners showcase a even envision a future, many tidies forward, in which clutter—and decluttering—to women. Tidying Up tremendous pressure and acceptance to failure in spite our whole cultural connection to objects has evolved. As a viable approach to equalizing labor distribution follows women in careers across the workforce who of unrelenting efforts. One episode, “The Downsizers,” introduces us in households, KonMari may have further benefits. are always strained by the disproportionate weight of the home. With this reality, it can be inferred through to the Mersiers, a family of four who relocated from As the world’s resources are increasingly depleted, a Kondo’s messages, a tidy house may offer itself as an Michigan to Los Angeles to pursue career opportu- more tactful and joy-sparking connection might be equalizer—from order, an unrealized equitability nities in hairstyling and music. Katrina and Douglas, the subtle transformation our consumption-heavy with their children Kayci and Nolan, present as society needs to evolve away from the material while among partnerships. In the vein of popular self-help and home improve- creative and beaming. A year into living in LA, Katrina conserving an experiential quality of life. Kondo often brings a boxes and boxes into her ment shows before it, Kondo’s addition to the genre says they don’t feel like home in their two-bedroom. offers an aspirational view into the lives (and changes With pressure straining an otherwise idyllic family life, client’s home to break down drawers. She sorts to them) of people not so unlike you and I. What is unex- Katrina turns to Kondo for help. During Kondo’s tour, her objects by size and function. The clarity of this pected, however, is the way in which this show—more Douglas opens the kitchen cabinets to show the messy compartmentalizing reflects the corresponding than its predecessors—presents personal application array of spices stressing him out and inhibiting him mental shifts that Kondo aims to inspire. Envisioning of its ethos of cleaning. A philosophy first and fore- from even entering the space if avoidable. “She’s the spaces as not merely tidy but as stepping stones most, the KonMari method is intended to be accessible. only one who’s aware of everything,” he says, “Katrina toward improved futures is integral to Kondoite The traditional self-help or home improvement show bears a lot of the weight of keeping things organized.” home improvement. The KonMari method entered features experts imposing certain value judgements Nolan, age 12, speaks on how he finds things in his new American cultural consciousness to applause and on the subject and providing a new (and improved) way home: “I spam her phone until she answers. That’s how uproar. Embrace it, thank it, or find a more suitable box. of life. Still, even in the absence of a strong aesthetic much I depend on her.” Kondo inquires as to how Katrina envisions the NICKOLAS ROBLEE-STRAUSS B’22 folds his socks. projection (that might take the form of purchases or renovation) on Kondo’s part, the before-and-after future, and as Katrina anticipates holding the reins of element of the show is consistent with the genre’s form: the family, Kondo intervenes with her own goal of a after an emotional journey a big reveal concludes the home crafted by and serving all members of the family. episode, fulfilling audience expectation. Regardless, In reflection Katrina states: “I wasn’t setting myself Kondo explicitly does not enter a home with the intent up to win. As a mom, I was doing too much I was being to personally make any changes. Insteadm she applies a make-it-work maker, not a home maker…no one the principles outlined in her book, The Life-Changing person can do it all…I think they will be more proactive Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering now that they have a sense of where things are.” While and Organizing, to each episode’s family, assigning her still very much at the helm at the family, we observe clients the task of wrestling with their possessions and Katrina—with the burden of combating clutter no encouraging them to orient their practice of tidying longer her task alone— renew her intentions to provide the best for her family manifested in a continued sense around their personal relationships to objects. Each episode follows a new family—mostly of tidiness. It is clear that the barrier between Katrina and a couples (some with and/or expecting children), but also one woman whose husband has recently passed— comfortable home was the labor—both mental and and their personal relationships to clutter. The houses physical—which she endured for the continued funcrange from small apartments to the villas of suburbia, tioning of her household; but at what cost? This work homes just moved into and homes lived in for over 50 of untangling messes is an unnecessary strain on a years. The clutter sometimes overwhelms, creating woman whose efforts are better spent elsewhere, in

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

ARTS

12

Money Matters by Betsy Roy

if you know anyone hmu)? No one—and it’s rough on onions—I don’t want to cry over dinner. my sense of self and my (in)ability to forge an identity outside of the capitalist paradigm—you know. I need another job. I’m fresh out of food and could You wouldn’t believe what I’d do for money. Like, serireally go for a Philly Cheesesteak (yeah, I know ously! It depends on the time of the month, if rent’s Did you ever beg your parents to take the training melted cheese shimmers and squeaks in the light— due, if I’m menstruating, if I’m having a depressive wheels off your bike, even when everyone knew you don’t use my words against me—don’t remind me of spell—I’ll take a job at Cinnabon, Athena Parking had no fucking clue how to ride? You wanted to plow my father). As I was saying, I’m working the reception Garages—whatever you got, I’ll take it. Maybe, you’d across the suburbs on your very own puce vehicular desk of Villa-e-Carly, a defunct Nickelodeon hotel do the same. Like a bear, or some pet-shop rodent, I contraption. And your parents took the training wheels that’s now targeted towards Silicon-Valley-oriented hoard. Money and empty gin bottles, thumbtacks, off and you found yourself plummeting head-first into venture capitalists on a pit-stop in Bakersfield. In its decorative pin cushions and Forever 21 jewelry. your neighbor’s recycling bin? And you scream-cried heyday the hotel featured rooms designed around and your dad refused to put the training wheels back specific TV shows and had breakfasts with ‘characI didn’t use to chase the dollar—didn’t need to, I was on, using your own words of independence against ters.’ I could scribble a sign saying back in a minute the world’s foremost expert on an esoteric game— you? and jog to the vending machine down the hall, could Runescape, I love you. Not to brag, but I’m a legend in pull the fire-alarm, cause a diversion. Or, I could eat some circles. You can find me as a guest on morning That’s how I feel about food. Can’t live with it, can’t the fruit out of the decorative bowl on the counter talk shows, or at gaming conventions. If you’re willing live without it. Food’s gross. I’ll give you an example. (they might be made of wax). Wax probably has less to pay, I’ll even make an appearance at your kid’s bat Vegetables have more bacteria than meat. Twinkies bacteria than real fruit. Maybe, I could apply for a job mitzvah; or your wedding. For an additional fee, I’ll never decompose. Chickens lay pink and blue and at the CDC. I’ll probably end up in an empty guesplay Runescape with you. You could call me a ‘consul- sometimes yellow eggs—so why do you only ever see troom playing Runescape on my iPhone 4, conspire tant’, or the ‘ghostbusters’ of the whole gaming-world. white or brown eggs at grocery stores? Don’t give with the mice—make a plan to steal kitchen scraps. I was the best miner, I hoarded the most raw material, me some ‘go to a farmer’s market’ crap. I can’t afford That was a joke, Villa-e-Carly doesn’t have mice (on I raided dungeons. People cared. In Runescape you that. Who at Stop & Shop is hiding all the pastel-col- days that don’t end on y). Prices range from $20-60 a can create a potion to get ahead. IRL, all we have is ored eggs? I sniff a ploy, something off—like when a night, but if you come in today or tomorrow I’ll give money and safes and banks and secret shoe-boxes player has too many gravestones in Runescapes. And you a discount. filled with cash. My identity was Runescape. Was. I refuse to ingest anything that shimmers in the light, Who plays old-school Runescape anymore (honestly, or oozes, or squeaks, or smokes in the oven. Also, I hate

ILLUSTRATION Carly Paul DESIGN Lulian Ahn

“Tomorrow,” the mother said, frowning. “We will try again tomorrow.” The daughter opened her mouth but she knew better than to tell her there doesn’t need to be a tomorrow. There doesn’t need to be a we. Another gulp of beans and waning light of kitchen. The bean sand spread, melding tongue to roof. The daughter wanted to rub the mountain between her mother’s brows, lather until the seams fell away as clean and smooth as the enamel bean pot. Her mouth is full enough so she says nothing.

Bean Soup by Star Su “Do you have enough blood?” the mother asked her.

“Daughter,” the mother said the next day. “It’s time for bean soup.” “This,” the daughter said, chewing. “It’s—” “It’s almost a paste now,” the mother said, chewing.

“Good,” the mother said, smoothing the bag of beans “Ouch,” the daughter said. The word left her mouth “You know how long it took?” the mother said. to read the back. even before her mother’s fingers tightened around her “Almost—” knuckles, white on white. The moon was fat enough “What’s wrong?” the daughter said. for its beams to slice through night, for her to see her “What about moon cakes?” the daughter said, giving it mother’s hair shimmer. She notices for the first time, a stir. “You can fill them with this right?” Though it was “This can’t be right,” the mother said. “It says there the strands of white. Like cobwebs, she wonders if they not the new year and the moon was not round, she felt isn’t any iron.” had been there all along. Or perhaps they were spun that she could still ask for this richness. over night. “Oh,” the daughter said. She put her lips to the spoon, “See?” her mother said. “You’re craving it. Your blood blowing on the beans, rose-colored steam rising. “You don’t,” the mother answered before she could. needs the beans.” “I will get you more.” “Hm,” the mother said, putting on her glasses. “What about you?” the daughter said, examining the “Daughter,” the mother said. “It’s time for bean soup.” dregs. “Don’t you need it too?” “What is it?” the daughter said, swallowing too quickly. Together, they peered into the pot. The beans don’t make it all the way down, lodged in But the mother’s back was washing the pot already. her chest. “It’s so watery,” the daughter said, taking a sip. Her hands were plunged into the waters, dark with the “Well it is soup,” the mother said. She scraped the remains of the beans. When she was sure her mother “It says this is heart food,” the mother said. Her bottom of the pot, unlodging the bean sediment until would not turn around, the daughter licked the bowl, eybrows formed a gentle temple. The daughter imagthe soup swirled with silt. She filled her bowl to the abandoning spoon. ined climbing its steps, on a day where the skies were brim. The daughter knew better than to tell her it was pale and clear. There was a pressure in the center enough. “Here’s some beans. No liquid.” “Daughter,” the mother said the day after. “It’s time for of her. It could be the beans, aching to slide into her bean soup.” stomach, or it could be her blood, aching to slide away “Can’t you make it like stew?” The daughter drank, from her. pushing her spoon against the pulp to strain it. She “I have my period,” the daughter said, hoping this preferred to chew her beans, to feel the resistance of would put a stop to the beans that had produced this “How is your heart?” the mother asked. The daughter skin against tooth. slurry of darkness. She had enough blood. swallowed.

13

LITERARY

15 MARCH 2019

Horse by Lucy Qiu horse sized hole of ~ mouth, * ask a million things

*

open

ask

-

/

*

could tell

in

~

horse

sized

throat

could not tell

-

, tell

*

cannot

but there is a horse in ~ throat

for how long that horse has been there,

cotton ball

*

things

*

,

a slotted spoon.

*

want to replace the horse with but cannot:

uterus,

-

~,

-

a butterfly ,

a

see, the horse has buried its head deep in

gnarled

wrangling

~

pit / if

hear whispers of m\

around

horse does not have a

horse’s tail swishing against ~ tongue

name, because names are for

things that stick and stay

why so many chinese restaurants have paintings of horses

wish horse

would just ,

mouth,

-

it is likely to be

wondering

~

-

!

out

jump

!

join

wall horses

not

~ but

until someone else lays claim

does don’t let horse hear m\ say that,

to this horse

not or it will want to stay longer

horse

it is

m-i-n-e,

*guess like horse is

horse has m\ horse has m\ 8 o’clock so many things /stress in flames cidre brut father calls bleeding out the exit / 12 o’clock / xtra strength / 4 o’clock / mustn’t forget 5 o’clock chastity / 8 o’clock / double this timebelt horse

* wonder if * because * wake up horse riding m\ does

or am

look tired

*

from carrying around a horse all the time horse horse is the first to greet m\ before the sun sometimes

riding horse not

?

this is not the kind of horse to ride like

not the kind of horse so many things /stress in flames cidre brut father calls bleeding out the exit not a kind horse

* *

wonder if

*

look tired

wake up

horse riding m\

or am

from carrying around a horse all the time horse is the first to greet m\

*

chastity belt horse

riding horse

?

before the sun sometimes

this is not the kind of horse to ride

not the kind of horse not a kind horse

* go to the pool and it is the only place * can float, horse leaves for a little swim and * hope to whoever can hear, for horse to break water no more

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

LITERARY

14

POWER

BY Shannon Kingsley ILLUSTRATION Dylan Williamson DESIGN Christie Zhong

PLANTS

Scrutinizing the US' biofuel future In the depths of a swamp forest, the ferns are dying. In 2017, the US produced 774.6 million tons of coal, cellulosic ethanol boasts 97 percent lower GHG emisFanned bodies bowed together, these giant leaf-like equivalent to the weight of nearly 120 million adult sions than gasoline. These statistics take into account forms topple and entangle as they bury upon one African bush elephants. In the same year, 29.9 percent the emissions caused from land use changes, or the another to form a mass grave. The swamp forest of electricity generated in the United States came from changes associated with the conversion of land for becomes a murky crater of life and death, as each fern coal, marking a nearly 20 percent drop from 2008 processes such as farming or urbanization. This data rooted in its soggy substrate ultimately lies to rest in to 2016—a downward trend the Union of Concerned demonstrates the extent to which second-generation the place of its birth. Void of oxygen and bacteria, the Scientists predicts will continue. Yet the use of biofuels, biofuels may far exceed first-generation biofuels in bottom of the forest holds millions of ferns, tree-like meaning any plant-based renewable energy, stood at a mitigating GHG emissions. Lastly, third-generation lycophytes, and primitive conifers. Over time, as these mere 11 percent in 2017. Most scientists agree that coal biofuel encompasses energy sourced from algae—a plants compress into the Earth, intense heat and pres- and other extensively-used fossil fuels, such as petro- new and promising field of study in the US. sure force them to refigure into dense black masses— leum and natural gas, no longer serve as viable energy But despite the greater environmental benefits the carbon-rich matter we now call coal. sources, so biofuels undoubtedly offer a better alterna- of cellulose-based ethanol produced from non-food Fast forward 300 million years. These ferns are tive. But just because an energy source is “renewable” biomass, its commercial production remains relatively reborn, wisps of their fronded bodies unfurling into or “bio-based” does not mean it is automatically envi- small. Ethanol produced from corn (and biodiesel the air as burning coal transforms water into steam ronmentally sound or sustainable. The replacement of produced from soybean) reigns as the primary biofuel to propel the churning cycle of a turbine. As the coal nonrenewable fuels with biofuels must be closely scru- produced and consumed in the US. Corn ethanol burns, harmful compounds that have been locked tinized: biofuel production and consumption in the also represents one of the most highly-controversial within these plants since the Carboniferous Period US engender a host of issues concerning the growing biofuels in the US today in debates that pit political and are released into the atmosphere, creating a noxious competition for agricultural land use, rising global economic agendas against the environment and public mix of sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, and carbon food prices, and the extent to which they actually miti- health. In Council Bluffs, Iowa last October, President dioxide. Once, these ferns served as natural air puri- gate greenhouse gas emissions. Donald Trump announced his commitment to implefiers in the prehistoric landscape, releasing excessive ment—with the “support” of the Environmental oxygen outputs that contributed to the proliferation Protection Agency—the year-round sale of E15, a +++ of giant, diverse plant and animal species. Today, in blended gasoline with 15 percent ethanol. Previously the form of coal, their corpses pollute our air, sicken Biofuels, which encompass all energy sources derived banned from sale during the summer months by the vulnerable communities, and contribute to acid rain, from living material, can be broken down into three EPA due to its contributions to high levels of smog and smog, and rising global temperatures. Clicking on a main categories, or generations, of renewable energy. its volatile nature, the sale of E15 would purportedly light switch, we repurpose the 300 million-year-old First-generation biofuels consist of fuels derived provide economic support to Iowa farmers. However, lives of plants into electricity. Starting a car engine, directly from food sources—namely corn, wheat, as the Washington Post points out, Trump’s benevolent we break the hydrocarbon bonds held in the plankton and sugar cane—while second-generation biofuels gesture toward Iowa’s farmers ignores the grave realand algal remains in petroleum (gasoline’s crude state) primarily derive from non-food crops or crops that can ities of ethanol production: the accompanying rise of and release carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and no longer be used as food sources. Cellulose-based food prices, the use and destruction of valuable farmparticulate matter. To curb the devastating effects of biomass, a significant second-generation biofuel, is land for non-food products, and the immense energy coal and gasoline on the environment, the production derived from the leaves and stems of plants. The expenditure necessary for corn distillation. and consumption of biofuels as an alternative source of average greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions from corn Corn ethanol does not constitute a suitable biofuel energy began to accelerate in the United States. ethanol stand at 34 percent lower than gasoline, while option largely because it does not meet the criteria for

15

SCIENCE & TECH

15 MARCH 2019

an ‘ideal energy crop’—that is, a plant that can perform global food prices; some farmers struggled to meet land, and then places a pipe containing the cultivated high rates of photosynthesis and maintain a long the demands of the biofuel quotas, while others raised juvenile kelp plants 30 feet below the ocean’s surface. growing season. These processes contribute to greater their food prices to compete with the market. The Ultimately, their project aims to engineer a contrapcarbon dioxide capture while increasing the crop’s higher energy prices for imported fuels versus biofuels tion that can lower the kelp bed to obtain nutrients in energy content. Additionally, an ideal energy crop increased the demand for biofuels, which signifi- the depths and raise the kelp bed to obtain sunlight. yields a high harvest index, which is the percentage cantly influenced the United States’ production of corn This technology would allow for full-fledged seaweed of above-ground matter than can be harvested as ethanol. farming miles from the shore. usable biomass. Many perennial grasses, which die This ramification was evident in 2008, when Despite the lack of infrastructure and investment back each year and regrow in the spring from their corn ethanol constituted 20 percent of the nation’s in seaweed farming for biofuel, seaweed provides rootstock, meet the characteristics of an ideal energy corn crop; today, that number stands at 25 percent of innumerable environmental benefits that make crop. On the other hand, annual grasses such as corn US-grown corn. During the 2008 food crisis, political its general cultivation worthwhile. Elaborating on must be replanted each year and typically require leaders, economists, and Midwestern farmers claimed the services seaweed farming provides, Dr. Greengreater fertilizer input. Panicum sp. (switchgrass) and that biofuels contributed minimally to the drastic rise Gavrielidis explained that “in the process of photosynMiscanthus sp. (silvergrass) are two perennial grasses in food prices. Instead, they cited the rising frequency thesis, seaweeds take up carbon dioxide and nitrogen that could potentially serve as better biofuel sources of droughts and the increasing global demand for and phosphorous and all these things we’ve come to than corn. With extensive root systems that reduce protein as significant contributors to the jump in food view as negatives because we have an excess of them soil erosion, the uncanny ability to adapt to varying prices. Yet a private World Bank report obtained by the in our coastal waters. Seaweeds take them out and climates, and biomass yields greater than their corn Guardian says otherwise, asserting that biofuels forced turn them into biomass, so harvesting the seaweed equivalent, Panicum and Miscanthus could provide a global food prices up by 75 percent. Although there are effectively removes these compounds from the envimore sustainable alternative to corn-based biofuels. many variables affecting increased food prices and ronment.” Although Dr. Green-Gavrielidis explained In 2013, Purdue University scientists Qianlai Zhuang, global hunger, the need to reassess the United States’ that the processing procedure for converting seaweed Zhangcai Qin, and Min Chen compared the water use, role in contributing to these rising statistics through its biomass to fuel could potentially re-emit some of these land use and biomass production for corn, switchgrass, corn ethanol production remains paramount. compounds into the atmosphere, she stated, “From and Miscanthus to determine which crop could most a farming perspective and the work that I do where efficiently produce 79 billion liters of ethanol. They +++ you end up selling the seaweed as a food, you are just found that Miscanthus required only half of the cropremoving that carbon dioxide, that nitrogen, that phosland and two-thirds of the water compared to corn to Perhaps, then, a return to our roots could reinvent phorous from the coastal environment.” Research on produce the same amount of ethanol—a result that our fuel future. Slipping onto the scene 500 to 700 macroalgae is just beginning to emerge in the US and strongly suggests its viability as a biofuel source. million years ago, macroalgae represents a vast array the feasibility of seaweed for fuel is still largely unexYet the use of agricultural land for fuel produc- of photosynthesizing, plant-like organisms commonly plored. However, the affirmed positive environmental tion and the release of carbon emissions from land referred to as seaweeds. Although microalgae and economic benefits from seaweed farming point to use change serve as particularly complicating factors have been rigorously explored as an energy source promising potential for the use of macroalgae in the that extend beyond a potential shift to perennial grass due to the high concentrations of oil found within biofuel industry. biofuel production. On the most basic level, the use their cells (which help keep them afloat), the study of land for biofuel production instead of crop produc- of macroalgae has recently emerged as an area of +++ tion decreases the land available for food production. growing biofuel research. In the US today, kelp, a type In turn, as the National Wildlife Federation predicts, of brown algae, spearheads this research because of Biofuels are indisputably an efficient, practical techthis land use change could lead to greater GHG emis- its high photosynthetic rate and unparalleled biomass nology that could potentially mitigate the effects of sions, reduced biodiversity, and destruction of wetland yields. Additionally, the ability to farm seaweed in climate change on the environment. Yet every time we and forest habitats. This argument, however, poses open-ocean systems nearly eliminates any land use convert an area of land to the growth of corn for fuel a double-edged sword: while some land use change change or energy expenditures typical of land-based instead of food, we must radically rethink our priorities resulting from biofuel production has indeed caused biofuel production. In an interview with the College and the grave realities of land use change and biofuel more harm than good in reducing the effects of climate Hill Independent, Dr. Lindsay Green-Gavrielidis, a production: we may emit more greenhouse gases and change and crop production, some land being used seaweed ecologist and postdoctoral researcher at the we may cause more people around the globe to go for biofuel production is not suitable for food crop University of Rhode Island, attested to the dynamic hungry. As Nature posits, “The only way that biofuels production in the first place. This dichotomy ques- nature of macroalgae and the myriad ecological and could help reduce emissions is by reserving additional tions whether biofuel production should occur on economic benefits they offer. Considering the sustain- land not currently acting as a carbon sink to be used land unsuitable for farming because any agricultural ability challenges involved in growing an organism for biofuel production.” The use of land for food and practice inevitably leads to greenhouse gas emis- as an alternative fuel source, Dr. Green-Gavrielidis non-food crop production is inextricably tied to GHG sions. Furthermore, crops grown for biofuel—even explained how the need for water use creates compe- emissions and water consumption, and although celluwhen grown on land unsuitable for farming—replace tition between industries and people already vying for losic ethanol provides a push in the right direction, it natural carbon sinks, such as forest or prairies, that dwindling water supplies. Meanwhile, a competing fails to address major climate change issues: land use prove highly productive in capturing large amounts of need for space poses questions about whether the and conservation, water consumption, and carbon carbon dioxide to clean up our atmosphere. Although space should be left as a natural ecosystem, used for dioxide output. Even microalgae, which the United some policymakers argue that biofuel crops also farming, or occupied by human populations. “It’s all States Department of Energy claims can produce up to act as carbon sinks, the re-emission of this captured these competing interests that make it very attractive 60 times more oil than land-based biofuels, falls short carbon dioxide through the burning of biofuels to be able to use the ocean because you don’t have to in providing a sustainable biofuel future. It occurs negates any claim that biofuels are “carbon-free do anything to the seaweed,” she said. “You put it in largely on land, uses extensive watering systems, and sources.” Although potentially growing switchgrass or the ocean, you tend to it, you make sure nothing bad oftentimes relies on artificial light. The endorseMiscanthus could lower GHG emissions as compared happens to it or the gear you’re using, but you’re not ment of microalgae by oil companies such as Exxon to other biofuels crops, the growth of any land-based giving it fertilizer, there’s no need to use water—all of raises questions about whether certain biofuels gain biofuel will always require extensive space, water, and that is there.” support because the infrastructure and markets for energy, while still contributing to climate change. Consistent with all alternative fuel sources, their consumption already exist—factors currently however, seaweed poses its own set of drawbacks. outweighing the environmental implications of their +++ For one, only small companies in the US currently production. engage in seaweed farming. The practice in the US In “The Place of Plants,” environmental philosoThe impact of US biofuel production reaches far is also relatively new, so many companies remain in pher Michael Marder writes about how the world meets beyond national borders as biofuel production has the preliminary stages of their research. These two plants: As sessile beings, plants remain rooted in place, also been attributed to higher global food prices and factors mean the current seaweed farming system incorporating their environment into their bodies and increased global hunger. Especially during periods of lacks the investment and infrastructure necessary ever-adapting to the world around them. “Attentive to increased demand for biofuel, corn ethanol production for biofuel production. This ultimately puts the US far the places of [their] growth… plants grow in contiguity yields greater monetary profits than corn grown for behind many other countries that have been pursuing with, not against, their environmental niches.” In this food. As more land becomes devoted to biofuel produc- seaweed-based biofuels for many years. Taiwanese sense, humanity also has to extend itself in a direction, farmers growing corn for food must increase shrimp farmers have incorporated seaweed into their tion that attends to this space. In doing so, returning their prices to meet consumer demands while coping shrimp cultivation practices, leading to cleaner water to parts of our environment that have been here the with the market’s decreased corn supply. The 2008 and the production of seaweed biofuel; Israeli farmers longest, there may be answers in algae. global food crisis marks an extreme example of the have implemented multi-species farming systems, effects of biofuel production on food security and land allowing for better exchange of nutrients and permit- SHANNON KINGSLEY B’20 doesn’t like corn. use. Influenced in part by the Energy Independence ting seaweed cultivation for biofuel; Sweden has develand Security Act of 2007, which mandated a fivefold oped large-scale systems of kelp production for food, increase in the use of biofuels in the US, the global food bioplastics, adhesives, and biofuels. The success of crisis saw frightening consequences: the highest wheat these global seaweed production systems make the prices in 28 years, tariffed imported gas and subsidized rise of US seaweed biofuel research a hopeful prospect. ethanol blends in the US, and a 8.4 percent decrease in Twenty miles off the coast of Los Angeles, a team of overseas aid to developing countries in 2006 to 2007. researchers at the Wrigley Institute of Environmental Although the Energy Independence and Security Act Studies are endeavoring to create a “kelp elevator” to was seemingly a step in the right direction, this legis- make the large-scale production of seaweed biofuel a lation contributed to the astronomical increase in reality. The team first cultivates the kelp in nurseries on

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

SCIENCE & TECH

16

SURVIVORS HAVE SAID "ME TOO"

BY Marie Lachance ILLUSTRATION Sophia Meng DESIGN Amos Jackson

Now what should their perpetrators say?

content warning: sexual assault “Hey, I have a really serious question for you that hasn’t not wanted by every survivor, a distinction Flanagan and relief, allowing him to go “back to normal,” I do not been addressed ever,” reads the text on my screen from fails to make. share in this luxury. Survivors of sexual assault cannot a boy I haven’t spoken with since high school graduaShe goes on to compare her experience with go back to normal. To me, his apology was nothing tion. It is fall and I am sitting on my couch, watching Christine Blasey Ford’s, which is riddled with compli- more than an unwanted reminder of the burden I will Christine Blasey Ford testify on live television. cations: one survivor cannot truly speak for another. always carry with me as a survivor—the burden that he “That one night I had a party or when I drove you Every survivor’s healing process is unique and valid. placed on me. home that other night was that sexual assault? bc rn Yet Flanagan extrapolates from her own experience, +++ with this whole kavanaugh trial, I feel super guilty bc hypothesizing that the reason Ford is still traumatized it was so weird and we never talked about it afterward.” from her sexual assault is because Kavanaugh never So, where do we go from here? The #MeToo moveI think about the two of us in his car, parked in an apologized. But this is not Flanagan’s conclusion to ment happened, revealing names of those in power abandoned elementary school parking lot long past my draw—just because she benefited from her perpetra- who we now recognize as perpetrators. Many of them curfew. I think about him unbuckling his seatbelt and tor’s apology does not mean others must. have apologized or want to apologize to survivors. But forcing his hand down my pants. I think about the only To Flanagan, an apology is a box that must be we haven’t stopped to consider what these apologies words I was able to say at the time: “I want to go home, I checked on the to-do list of overcoming trauma—a step demand from survivors, for instance, the burden of want to go home, I want to go home.” that will supposedly absolve the perpetrator and free re-engaging with trauma. These perpetrators demand I laugh. Laughter is all I can manage after three the survivor. This troubles me for two reasons. for us to empathize with someone who has caused years of processing what this boy did to me. It is all I First, I don’t believe perpetrators should be able to harm. They demand even more emotional labor—yet can manage after years of therapy and countless insert themselves back into survivors’ lives at their own another violation. nights spent wrestling with the concoction of guilt and discretion. Apologies, by nature, request a response The healing process is about the survivor, not the disgust and confusion his abuse has caused me. from their recipient. And if this communication is perpetrator. We must foster a culture that respects And now he wants to know if this was assault. He unwanted by the survivor, it can feel like yet another the agency of survivors and allows them to make feels guilty. He hasn’t processed what has happened— breach of consent. When my perpetrator apologized their own decisions on how to continue on with their he needs me to do that for him. And as someone who to me, I felt as though my agency to choose how I heal lives post-assault. Perpetrators must hold themhas been taught to do men’s emotional labor for them, as a survivor was erased. He chose for me, placing selves accountable without depending on survivors to I do. I tell him that yes, what he did to me was assault. him at the center of my healing process. Whether he mediate that process; they have caused harm, and now “I’m sorry Marie.” recognizes it or not, what he did to me has altered my they alone are responsible for it. They must confront “I’m sorry if I caused any trauma.” life, and an apology—no matter how genuine—can what they have done, educate themselves, even if this “I can’t justify it at all, all I can say is I’m sorry.” never change that. Of course, some survivors need to process is emotionally taxing. This model reinforces He isn’t offering excuses, he isn’t attempting to hear an apology in order to move forward. But I felt as the autonomy that survivors should have in deciding justify his behavior, he isn’t asking for forgiveness. He though my perpetrator’s apology was simply a means what is best for their safety and healing, and doesn’t is simply sorry. of relieving his guilt, serving only himself. For me, my allow perpetrators to ambush them with apologies they And suddenly I am filled with rage. The damage abuser’s apology will always be a reminder that he can may not be ready for. has already been done—no apology can ever change move past the mess he has made while I continue to what this boy has put me through. The only way I have carry this weight. +++ been able to persevere as a survivor is to demonize him, Second, apologies provoke empathy that many to define him by what he has done to me. Maybe this survivors do not want to feel. The majority of victims I wish my abuser had never apologized to me. I wish he isn’t fair, but it doesn’t have to be. Trusting my own know their perpetrators before any harm occurs, could have addressed the harm he had caused, grapnarrative is how I survive. I have no room for the needs leaving many survivors vulnerable to emotional pled with his guilt, and become a better person without of someone who has caused me so much harm. manipulation, or feeling forced to forgive. My perpe- placing that burden on me. Two other people have And now this boy, who had already stolen so much trator was my close friend at the time. I needed a ride sexually assaulted me, and I haven’t heard from them from me, takes the only thing I feel I have left: my home from a party, and because I had been drinking since. I have to say: their silence does make me wonder agency to hate him. and he was sober, I trusted him. After his apology, I felt if they even know what they did to me. I wonder if they the need to placate his guilt. It would have been so easy. regret their abuse. I wonder if they have hurt others, +++ I had once cared about him, and his apology made and worst of all, I wonder if my silence enabled it. me feel guilty for allowing him to wallow in his own I am grateful to Christine Blasey Ford, and I’m The #MeToo movement produced many apologies, remorse when my forgiveness had the potential to set glad that her testimony forced one of my perpetraand by now, we are familiar with the way they sound. him free. I was in the position to absolve someone I had tors to confront the harm that that he caused me. But Apologies can serve as neat and just conclusions of an once known and trusted. Was I evil to deny him that? it enrages me that it took him three years and such otherwise turbulent storm. When Louis C.K. publicly Feeling empathy for someone who harmed me in extreme circumstances to put a name to his actions— apologized for sexually assaulting five women last such an intimate way is confusing and painful. After and still, he needed me to do this work for him. It fall, Americans responded with a mixture of satisfac- the incident, we remained friends for months. We enrages me that on top of the hell that processing tion and criticism. While some people were quick to never discussed it, and this silence made me doubt the trauma entails, the person who caused me this pain is critique the language he used or his motives, there did validity of my feelings. When my friends heard what sorry. He wishes he hadn’t hurt me. Well, guess what—I seem to be a general consensus that his apology was a had happened, they interpreted it as just another hook- wish that too. necessary step forward. We were fixated on his actions, up, and I couldn’t bear to tell them otherwise. I knew If you know me, you know I am okay. I laugh and I rather than the reactions of his survivors. he had taken advantage of me, but I didn’t yet have the experience joy and I am okay. My trauma resides someOf course, apologies are cathartic for many survi- vocabulary or strength to explain why or how. In her where deep in my bones, and sometimes I feel it nag at vors and can be an essential part of the healing process. podcast “The Heart,” Kaitlin Prest explores the “invis- the corners of my mind. But what happened to me is not In response to Brett Kavanaugh’s infamous sexual ible, social, and historical contexts at play in these inti- who I am. I won’t let it be. I am defiant in the face of my assault trial, essayist Caitlin Flanagan describes her mate moments” that cause us to react to trauma in the trauma. I live to prove it wrong. And this does not make own experience with sexual assault in the Atlantic. ways we do. These are the contexts that made me feel me a vessel for forgiveness or empathy I have no space Her perpetrator eventually apologized, enabling her as though I wasn’t entitled to my own narrative. That for. I am focused on me, and my future. His journey is to forgive him for his abuse. She writes, “He’d done I was instead obliged to put his needs before my own, his own, and frankly, I want no part in it. a terrible thing, but he’d done what he could to make even after he had caused me harm—to, in the words of it right. I held nothing against him, and still don’t.” Prest, “give up in a way that [felt] so comfortable to me.” MARIE LACHANCE B'20 won't take sorry for an While this is an entirely valid response, apologies are While his apology may have granted him freedom answer.

17

FEATURES

15 MARCH 2019

FRIDAY 3.15 Potty Mouth Paint Event Pea Poddery (2364 Diamond Hill Road, Cumberland) 6:30-9PM “No image is inappropriate and no words will be shunned. Absolute freedom to do whatever you want with your piece.” In other words, this is your chance to paint a mug that says “fuck” on it. “My Father’s Cigar Event” Tammany Hall (409 Atwells Avenue) 4-8PM Someone named John Gallogly will be hanging out at Providence’s very own homage to old-timey graft, offering “tremendous deals up to 25 percent off cigars and boxes!” As the event description intones, even if smoking something called “My Father’s Cigars” sounds a little too Freudian for your taste, you should… “Do it For Johnny!”

SATURDAY 3.16 Stories of this Land Southside Cultural Center of Rhode Island (393 Broad Street) 9AM-3:30PM This day of conversation asks the question: "Why does it matter for people who work and live on this land to know and tell its history?” Speakers will include local historians, an educator from the Narragansett tribe, and a scholar of US slavery, followed by workshops teaching participants how to tell their own stories about their connection to their land “so that we can become better educators for when people visit our farms, homes, and neighborhoods.” Retro-Computing Open House Retro-Computing Society of Rhode Island (118 Manton Avenue) 1-8PM I can’t imagine being able to fit more than like, one or two of these old dinosaurs in a room, so “open house” might be a bit of a stretch here. But if any of you dear readers go, would you bring all the old floppy disks we have stashed in a corner of the Indy office to find out what it is we’ve actually published?

SUNDAY 3.17 Skulls from Near and Far Museum of Natural History and Planetarium (1000 Elmwood Avenue) 11AM-12PM // $3 You don’t usually think about skulls in terms of their distance from you, but I guess if you had a bunch of skulls in close proximity that’s probably something you would want to know. Anyways, take a tour through the museum’s skull vault and learn to identify the boney remains of your favorite Rhode Island critters.

MONDAY 3.18 Opening Day! Attleboro Farms (491 Hickory Road, North Attleboro, MA) 9AM-5PM O, Vernal Sprites & Ephemeral Faeries of the Equinox...! Come to the seasonal opening of Attleboro Farms’ greenhouses and nurseries this Monday and buy, like, a tulip plant to celebrate the arrival of spring. Honestly, apropros of nothing, I myself probably won’t manage to make it across the state line in time for this glorious event, but I would if I could.

TUESDAY 3.19 Software Basics: InDesign AS220 Industries (131 Washington Street) 6-9PM This workshop will provide attendees with a basic intro to Adobe InDesign, which is also the software that we here at the Independent use to design and lay out our newspaper every week! Really a great opportunity—especially for writers who want to self-publish—to learn how to navigate an otherwise tricky-to-use program. Just don’t get *too* good at InDesign, or else you might be tempted to start your own, rival Providence alt-weekly.

WEDNESDAY 3.20 Monthly Lessons Rock Spot Climbing Providence (42 Rice Street) 6-6:30PM $5 Rock climbing is, imo, the de-facto national sport of a certain ilk of Ivy League students with disposable money and their own Subaru Outbacks. Also, it’s a favorite pastime of one of the best professors I’ve ever had, who uses the adrenaline that rock climbing induces in him to cope with the dread he derives from reading what’s on his own syllabus (Heidegger)!

THURSDAY 3.21 Food, Farming, and Our Future: Panel on Sustainable Agriculture Providence Community Library (78 Hope Street) 7-8PM The recent construction of a meat processing plant in North Kingstown marks the disturbing advent of factory farming in Rhode Island—a practice that’s not only barbaric, but dangerous to the local water supply. In response, this town hall will center on the following questions: “What is the future of sustainable food in Rhode Island? What can we do to build a food system that protects ecosystems and public health? In the era of climate change, what would a truly sustainable food system look like?”