5 minute read
Do You Fascinate?
By The Employment Therapist™
From Frustration To Fascination.
Not too long ago, I was in a coaching session with a candidate who spent the entire time complaining. They went on and on about how they were always getting looked over for promotions even though they had impeccable quarterly reviews and were considered a valued team member. They explained how they had applied for several positions within their department and hadn’t seen any upward movement at the company in over four years. My client was ready to jump ship; leaving behind a position they loved and an employer they had worked for over 10 years ”It’s time for a change,“ they blurted out in frustration for not getting what they wanted.
Does this sound familiar?
I allowed the candidate to ramble on for a few more minutes before asking, "How do you think your managers perceive you as an executive, an employee, and a team member?" Their knee-jerk reaction was very predictable having heard the same type of response frequently.
I don’t care how they perceive me! I deserved to get paid and move up the ladder. I’m smarter than most and have been doing the job longer. There’s a lot of favoritism in my company and I’m sick of seeing what is going on as I get passed over.
I truly felt for the candidate as they analyzed the situation completely wrong and narrow-minded. The candidate was so focused on what they weren’t getting that they didn’t consider whether or not they were being viewed correctly In this Game of Life we play life isn’t fair. Most times things do not go the way we believe they should but this does not mean we should feel disregarded. Still, it is up to the individual to change an employer’s misperception about oneself.
Let me explain.
It’s true to a degree you should not care about what others think about you especially those who do not know you or cannot affect your livelihood. Unfortunately, those who do not care about what people think about them do not realize it is very important to know how others perceive us in the workplace which can either elevate us or hinder our progression.
Haters are gonna hate, right? Not necessarily.
I know many people who have endured this situation, and so have I in my career pursuits From my own experiences, instead of giving up, I would challenge myself to want a positive resolve as to why a manager’s answer was ” no“! First,
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. - Aristotle
I needed to learn more about what my manager or team members may have missed about me. Second, I wanted to make changes to my attitude, work habits, and mindset to resolve why I was not getting the recognition I believed I deserved. I understood that I might have been getting in my own way. That's when I discovered Sally Hogsheads. How To Fascinate because it doesn't matter how the world sees you.
The concept of being able to fascinate another is in itself fascinating to me. Having the ability to identify the characteristics that one possesses or conjures up when a name is said is bewitching. Do people see you as a relationship-builder with strong people skills? Or are you more of a behind-the-scenes kind of person? How you are viewed by others can hinder your upward mobility. When a job description is written it is more often not solely based on who can do the job and one's credentials but also one's interpersonal skills emotional intellect and demeanor. So if you are perceived as being a truth-telling hothead you may not be in alignment with a manager who has a different temperament.
Unlike the typical personality test, the How To Fascinate test is based on your personal branding, not psychology It literally interprets your behaviors, actions, and preferences through the eyes of others based on your personality. Your personality has one primary advantage. It’s how you add value and it is what makes you different and better. When you learn what your advantages are you are able to be in control of them and command more attention from others which will allow you to be more regarded. This test can be eye-opening as you see yourself through the eyes of peers.
Getting back to my client, I suggested they take the test, and when we reviewed the results my client was able to identify those strengths that proved them to be an asset to the company and also revealed a few strengths that could be so intimidating that they may have been negatively pigeon-hold into their current position. There is work that needs to be done but my client has a better understanding of who they are based on what others perceive them to be. I would recommend this test to anyone willing to look through the eyes of others, willing to accept what they learn, and willing to use what they learn to their advantage.
Recommendation: Utilize a certified coach to review and create a plan of action based on your results.
This article was originally published by The Hubbub™ courtesy of Employment Therapy Online.
About The Employment Therapist™:
