'Hood Magazine September 2013

September 2013

parent • child • family

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www.thehoodmagazine.com

Helping Children Understand Cancer

Bye, Bye Binky Tips for banishing the binky for good.

H G Coping U S O with the T PIC Unexpected O T -

Healthy ways to handle stress

Sioux Empire’s Parenting Resource

Mine was earned in Vietnam. By my dad.

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on the cover 6 Bye, Bye Binky

Tips for banishing the binky for good.

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13 Helping Children

child

Understand Cancer

17 Coping with the Unexpected

Healthy ways to handle stress.

baby 7 Training for Success Potty training techniques to ease the process.

8 Brushing Baby’s Teeth Toothbrushing routines for babies and young children.

10 C reate a DistractionFree Homework Station

A “no more excuses” place where your children can do schoolwork.

29 Recognizing Harmful

local

12 Tough Topics

Read five local families’ experiences including cancer, deployment, moving, adoption and loss of a pet. Local professional’s offer advice side-by-side.

Behavior in Kids

Children’s behavioral health advice.

family

26 P reventing Bullying:

Every Family Can Help How families can give their children the tools they need.

28 W hen Money Runs Out

Assistance for covering family expenses.

parent 34 IEP Meetings

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Parent preparation and participation.

36 Childhood Mental

Illnesses: Addressing a

Problem Early Leads to Better Health Throughout Life Early intervention can make a difference for your child and your family.

6 in every issue 4 Welcome 10 Kara’s Kreative 22 Calendar of Events 30 Menu Planning 38 Business Directory

contents

September 2013

Photo courtesy of Christopher Reistroffer

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welcome baby

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‘HOOD HAPPENINGS “Hood Magazine out and about in the Sioux Falls area.

President & Publisher Steffanie Liston-Holtrop Hoodlum Productions, LLC 605-366-1479 steff@thehoodmagazine.com

Photo courtesy of Dirt Media

Editor Hannah Weise hannah@thehoodmagazine.com Design Director Ally Vogel 605-759-5615 ally@vogeldesignshop.com Social Media Director Jillian Lemons jillian@thehoodmagazine.com Advertising Account Executive Kelli Johnson 605-366-9357

kelli@thehoodmagazine.com

FamilyFest 2013

Creative Ideas Director Kara Weber Cover photo by: Kristi Shanks Photography *No animals were harmed for this issue.

Contributing Photographers Kristi Shanks Photography Dirt Media Contributing Writers Amber Bruns, Rebecca Wimmer, Dr. Laura Aeschlimann, Judee Howard, Susan Eleeson, Tammy R. Lias, Beccy Farrell, Kristine Weires, Alyssa Kuecker, Heather DeWit, Shaina Herrmann, Stephanie Spaan, Wendy Giebink, Leigh Jerzak, Chantel Olson, Molly Wilson, Stephanie Wilde, Anna Eidem Interns Lauren Catangui (Marketing) Molly Bruggeman (Design)

Tie-died Shirts on KSFY’s Morning Show

UPCOMING EVENTS:

‘Hood Panel Members Heather DeWit, Dee Di Memmo, Addie Graham-Kramer, Bobbi Nelson, Stephanie Spaan, Ashley Thompson, Melissa Williams

Reading Festival

October 19, 9am-12pm

Spooky Science Night

Reproduction or use of the contents of this magazine is prohibited.

October 25 and 26

Canton Car Show 2013

Next ISSUE: Families That Inspire Many families face difficult challenges related to any number of circumstances, including physical, mental and developmental disabilities. ‘Hood’s October issue will focus on Families That Inspire and resources available to help.

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

‘Hood Magazine is published 9 times a year by Hoodlum Production, LLC and strives to publish only accurate information, however Hoodlum Production, LLC cannot be held responsible for consequences resulting from errors or omissions. All material in this magazine is the property of Hoodlum Production, LLC and cannot be reproduced without permission of the publisher. We welcome article proposals, story suggestions and unsolicited articles and will consider all submissions for publication. Please send your thoughts, ideas and submissions to Hoodlums@ thehoodmagazine.com.

Magazine feedback and advertising and marketing inquiries to steff@thehoodmagazine.com. ©2013 Hoodlum Productions, LLC All Rights Reserved.

Photo courtesy of Kristi Shanks Photography

baby 5

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Photo courtesy of Kristi Shanks Photography

baby

by Amber Bruns, MS, BCBA

Bye, Bye Binky Pacifiers, pacis, binkies. You either love them, hate them, or love them and then hate them. For those babies that come to love pacifiers, there comes a time to say good bye to the binky. This is when we begin to hate the binky.

How are we going to get rid of the pacifier? The thought of our child screaming and crying simply because we’re taking away a little soother is difficult to bear. There are some strategies that can be tried to make the transition away from the pacifier much easier for everyone: • I nvolve your child in the departure of the binky.

This can be done by making a celebration or farewell event for the binky. Tie balloons to the binky and watch it float off.

• T rade it in. Allow your child to trade in the binky for something else. It could be the binky for a replacement stuffed animal to sleep with or a big kid toy of their choosing.

• C hange the binky’s value. Cut the tip of the pacifier.* In doing so, the pacifier no longer has the ability to be used to suck. It no longer provides the same soothing ability as it once did. The child should lose interest in it all on his/ her own, simply because it no longer works as it once did.

• T ake advantage of mythical childhood characters like The Binky Fairy. She takes the binky and replaces it with something else. It voids the parents of any guilt by association for taking away the binky.

While the above strategies may not result in a blissful transition away from the pacifier, they may ease the transition.

There is always the possibility that some babies will cry and cry, for minutes, hours, or even multiple days in a row. The key is staying committed to the plan and following through.

You can do it! It never hurts to remind yourself that you’ve never seen a college student with a pacifier. Eventually, they will lose interest and say good bye to the binky! n

*Be sure to safely monitor pacifier use after the tip is cut to ensure your child’s safety.

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Training for

The thought of potty training is one that can strike exuberance as well as fear into the hearts of parents. The enticement of reducing the diaper bill is coupled with the fear of never achieving success. Potty training does not need to be intimidating or stressful. Parents who have a good understanding of the process can develop a plan to help their child reach the ultimate goal.

baby

Success

Photo courtesy of Kristi Shanks Photography

by Rebecca Wimmer, Director of Early Childhood Enrichment, Boys and Girls Clubs of the Sioux Empire

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Potty training is just what it says: a training. It is something that takes time and effort in order to achieve positive results. Just as an athlete trains months or even years to succeed in a sport, children need proper training to be able to succeed in toileting independence.

There are many different theories and methods out there on potty training, not to mention the countless number of chairs, toys, videos and gadgets that all claim to result in success. There are methods that claim to have your child trained by the time they are 6 months old, methods that train in 72 hours, and others that suggest that children will train themselves whenever they are ready. No matter what method you choose to use, it is important to recognize that complete potty training success is only truly achieved when a child is able to recognize their need to void, express that need, and complete the task independently. This is the process that takes time. It is not a sprint to the finish, but rather a marathon.

As you prepare to coach your child through this new experience, there are a few tips to help the process run smoothly.

• Approach potty training with a positive attitude and make it an exciting experience. A trip to the store for potty supplies can make a great start to a new venture.

• I ntroduce children to the potty early on. The toilet can be very intimidating when you are only two feet tall.

There are appropriate ways to have your child observe you using the toilet. Let them assist in flushing when you are done or just as a practice run. If you plan to use a potty chair, place it in the bathroom before you even attempt to potty train so your child can become familiar with it.

• Remember that potty training is a complex skill for children to achieve, requiring both mental and physical skills that take time to mature.

• Accidents will happen. That is part of the training.

Prepare for them, and maintain a positive approach.

• C elebrate success! Many children respond well to incentives such as stickers, small treats, or loud cheering with each success.

• T ransition forward, never backward. Some parents choose to ditch the diapers and go straight to underwear. Others move to pull-ups and then panties. It is critical that if you step away from the diapers and move to pull-ups or up to panties, you keep with it other than for bedtime routines. Switching back and forth becomes confusing and can hinder progress.

• R emember that each child is unique and so is their potty training experience.

Potty training is only one of the many experiences you will have with your child. Enjoy it! n

Home Away From Home Meloney Meehan Storgaard, general manager of Homewood Suites by Hilton, knows only too well what it feels like to have a sick newborn and can’t imagine the added weight of being away from home. In an effort to help NICU families feel a bit of comfort when they are away from their homes, Homewood Suites of Sioux Falls is partnering with Sanford, Children’s Miracle Network, and Avera to donate two rooms for social workers to place NICU families into for lodging.

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

baby

by Dr. Laura Aeschlimann, ABC Pediatric Dentistry

Brushing Baby’s TEETH It’s very exciting when your little one’s very first tooth comes in! When should you start brushing your child’s teeth? As soon as there is a tooth to brush! You can even begin a mouth-cleansing routine with a soft rag to gently clean and massage the gum tissue even before their first tooth erupts.

Once the first tooth comes in, use a soft, age-appropriate toothbrush to gently clean the food and bacteria off of your child’s tooth/teeth. Prior to the age of two, you can use either no toothpaste on the toothbrush or a non-fluoridated toothpaste as your child will likely not yet be able to spit the toothpaste out. Around your child’s second birthday is when it is recommended for most children to begin using a pea-sized amount of fluoridated toothpaste for its anti-cavity effects, regardless of whether or not they’ve figured out the spitting thing. Your child’s pediatric dentist can help you determine when it is the right time to switch to a fluoridated toothpaste for your child.

As your little one starts to grow, her desire for independence will likely grow as well. Even though your child may want to

brush her teeth “all by herself,” children do not have the developmental skills to adequately brush their own teeth until they are around age 7 or 8. As their parent, you will need to brush their teeth for them until that time comes. Your child can take his or her “turn” brushing either before or after you do it, but in order to make sure all surfaces of all teeth actually get brushed, a parent should be brushing twice daily for the child. It’s important to brush well before bed, after the last snack/beverage of the day, in order to rid the teeth of cavity-causing sugars, acids and bacteria before sleep.

Children should never be allowed to take a bottle or sippy cup to bed with anything but water in it either, or enamel breakdown during sleep can occur. Even juice or milk in a bottle during the night can contribute to cavities.

And don’t forget the flossing! Once teeth have no space between them, flossing is recommended to get those areas between the teeth clean. Help your child develop healthy oral hygiene habits early on. Someday they will thank you for it! n

[ S a n f o r d c h i l d r e n ’ S & K o h l’ S c a r e S ]

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

child

Photo courtesy of Dirt Media

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child

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child

by Kara Weber, Creative Ideas Director

Create a Distraction-Free

Homework Station “One way you can help your child with homework is setting up a special homework space.” We know you have heard that one before, but what can a family do if it works best for kids to do their homework near a parent, in the common family areas of the house like the kitchen table? Here is an easy way to create a distraction free workspace that they will love.

Let your kids go wild and decorate their homework station any way they want so that it will be a place they will enjoy. You can add some motivational quotes – if they will let you.

First you will need a tri-fold cardboard display. We got ours in the school supply section of Dollar General for $2.50. One display will make two homework stations.

You will cut the cardboard display in half. You could also use a cardboard box that is similar in size and cut it down.

Next we took our tri-fold board down to the Museum of Visual Materials and used their free recycled craft materials to decorate our board. The Museum of Visual Materials has open craft times where kids can create whatever they want with their supplies. The museum has whole walls of shelves filled with free recycled supplies. We used some punched circles that were cut from old greeting cards, silver foil tape, photos cut from magazines, ink stamps, and some markers to create our designs.

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We also feel it is best to have a separate at-home container with supplies especially for homework ready to go in one spot. This way kids don’t waste time looking for what they need to complete their homework.

We used a plastic berry container we picked up at the Museum of Visual Materials and decorated it with a sticky back paper label we made with the Museum’s supplies. We recommend you include at least three sharpened pencils in your homework supply container.

This way the “I can’t find a pencil” excuse won’t be an excuse anymore.

What is great about this homework station is that it can fold up and slip under or behind a couch so that it is out of sight but ready for the next time your child has homework. n

p ‘hood should Encourage your child’s creativity and see what your family can create with recyclable materials.

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Kindergarten- 5th Grade Enroll Your 605.

School Age Child Now: 338.8061

Youth Enrichment Services is a brand under Boys & Girls Clubs of the Sioux Empire

We provide Afterschool Enrichment at the following locations: Sioux Falls

14th Street Learning Center Eastside Learning Center* Hillcrest Church Kiwanis Avenue Learning Center

Brandon

Brandon Elementary Robert Bennis Elementary* Fred Assam Elementary

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Explorer Elementary* Journey Elementary* *Before School Program Available

Transportation Available Call 605.338.8061 for details!

September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

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local

tough topics

by Hannah Weise

All of us encounter situations where we don’t know what to do or what to say. Five local families shared their experiences with us on several topics that can be difficult to talk about and explain, including adoption, cancer, military deployment, moving, and the loss of a pet.

Each family’s story is accompanied by a local professional’s perspective on the same topic.

Do you have advice or experiences from tough topics of your own? Share them with us on our Facebook page and on our website. Not everyone going through a difficult time reaches out for help, and you never know when sharing your experiences will help someone else!

I HAVE CANCER

by Leigh Jerzak

How did you first find out about your illness?

I went to my family doctor thinking I maybe had bronchitis and, due to a low white blood cell count, I was sent to a hematologist/oncologist who wanted to do a bone marrow biopsy. The next day I had my biopsy, and they called at 4:30 the same day and asked us to come back. After hearing the crushing news that I had Acute Myeloid Leukemia, my first thought was of the children finding out I needed immediate medical attention and how I was going to share this overwhelming information with them. David and I left the doctor’s office knowing that in a few short days I would be going into the hospital for the first of what could be many 4-6 week stays and lots of uncertain times.

How did you explain your illness to your children?

They don’t teach you about how to handle these things. All we could do was hope we’d get it right. I remember telling Taylor, Blake, and Chandler (ages 14, 12 and 3 at the time) that I had Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) and that I was going to have to go into the hospital soon to receive treatment.

I think I was crying from the second I saw their innocent little faces.

My daughter Blake had the toughest time initially. We had no idea what to do, but she had a student counselor that she liked very much that had been battling cancer for some

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time. We called the school, and the counselor was happy to talk with Blake. She calmed Blake down and gave Blake some tools to deal with her anxiety about what was about to take place. Taylor was shaken up at first, but her real emotions came out when my mother showed up and cut my ponytail off to donate to Locks of Love. I was shocked by this, but Taylor associated me cutting off my hair (which I loved) with CANCER becoming real.

My son Chandler was too young at the time to openly express any emotions immediately, but his anxiety came later in the form of fear. He was afraid of seeing me with the mask I had to wear and the machine I had connected to me at all times. He slowly warmed up to “Medi-Man,” mom’s personal robot, and the nurses found a Mickey Mouse mask that he could wear. Over time he got used to coming to the hospital when he was allowed (which wasn’t much) and spending time with his bald, robot-toting, masked mother. I don’t think he understands that all children don’t have a mommy who was once bald and spent a year and half of their childhood in an out of long hospital stays.

It was a devastating feeling to have my children so scared and have no idea what the “right” way to handle things was. We just tried to be as honest as possible, but always reassured them that we had our eye on the prize, and the prize was regaining my health so we could get our family back to business as usual. >

by Susan Eleeson, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, Chronic Disease, Sanford Health

Helping Children

What advice do you have for families in a similar situation?

The people that offered support were completely overwhelming, so my best advice to other families going through something similar is first of all, be honest. Kids can handle anything as long as you are open and honest. Second, remain positive in the face of any struggle that might pop up. The way you handle big scary issues is how they will too. And, most of all, lean on the help and support of others to get your family through it. I remember saying to people, “I can’t accept that” because I kept thinking, “How will I ever repay everyone for all their kindness?” But lots of folks reminded me if tables were turned I would do the same thing for anyone else that needed me. I eventually came to terms with the fact that we needed these loving people to survive.

The love, friendship and prayers that our family received are what kept us going every day.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I believe that attitude is everything when faced with a crisis.

I am not saying I wasn’t scared, but I always tried to be present in every moment that I got with my children. When my babies were at the hospital, I gave them every ounce of happiness and energy I could muster up. We had long talks, fun games and lots of laughs during what I consider to be the worst and best of times for us. Anytime one of us was down, we did all we could to make them feel better, always talking about and looking to the future. I am sure there were times my children felt like mom was soaking up all the attention and there wasn’t enough time for them (that is a very human and normal feeling to have), but my family, friends and myself made huge efforts to keep them in the forefront. They always knew they had someone they could talk to about anything, and nothing was off limits.

No one would be judged for any feeling they might be having. As long as my doctors held out hope that I would survive, that is all we focused on as a family. n

A cancer diagnosis is an abrupt stop to life. You might be scared, angry, and uncertain. While the news is deeply personal, it is important for parents to remember that their children are going to begin a journey of their own as their mother or father starts treatment.

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To see additional photos check out ‘Hood’s website.

Understand Cancer

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Children should be educated about what is happening and be provided with age-appropriate information. It might be helpful for parents to rehearse how they are going to tell children about a diagnosis. They should remember to emphasize that cancer is not contagious and was not caused by anything they did. Without the proper information, children might develop their own theories about what is happening. It is OK if parents do not know the answer to one of their children’s questions; they can promise to find out, inquire with their physician and make a deliberate effort to follow up with an answer. Questions or thoughts come and go quickly with children of all ages, so encouraging them to keep a special notebook for these can help kids feel heard about their concerns.

Communicating with teenagers creates an additional challenge. They can process more complex information but are oftentimes more unpredictable than younger children.

A parent can encourage their teenager to explore an outlet like athletics, music or journaling. A teenager may feel the need to put their life on hold while a parent battles cancer, but a normal social and extracurricular routine can serve a therapeutic purpose.

It is important for children, including teenagers, to talk about how they feel. Those conversations need not be limited to parents. A strong support system of relatives, friends, teachers and members of a care team is a stabilizing force as a family maneuvers through cancer.

Communication is key, and while cancer treatments might leave a parent with less energy, a concentrated effort to keep information flowing creates an open channel for children to express their feelings throughout the coping process.

Parents must keep the love for their children at the forefront. While a cancer diagnosis will change a family’s situation, a parent’s love will not change. It is impossible for a parent to be prepared for everything. Nonetheless, developing a caring and nurturing family environment is an effective way to navigate through a cancer diagnosis. n September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

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by Tammy R. Lias, MA, LMFT, QMHP, Journey Therapy and Consulting

Civilian Duty:

A Call to Community

Duty: obligation or opportunity? I say yes to both. Our military families “support and defend” (Oath of Enlistment) at no small cost. Military experts suggest that for each military member deployed, 8-10 family members are directly affected by his or her service. Most of us know one or more of those 8-10 people and may have felt a call to back their service, or wondered how we might best show our support.

Expanding the support system, a sort of extended family network, is a key component in the success of families who encounter deployment. The Department of Defense (DoD) notes the greater ability to cope for spouses more deeply rooted in their community.

Some families are more vulnerable than others. Families with younger children (especially under age 5), newly married, first deployment, or isolated, fall into a “high risk” category.

It is impossible to address the unique needs of each family here, but there are some common areas in which the majority of military families struggle: Logistics. The remaining family is left with double duty when it comes to everyday tasks, so any hands-on, practical help reduces this burden. Supportive employers can play a huge role in the success of military families during deployment.

Emotional. The loss of the service member’s presence accompanied by the fear of loss of life is very real and present in military families. Military spouses are commonly reported to experience loneliness, depression, anxiety, anger, and physical illness. If you are privileged to be close enough to provide emotional support to a military family, inquiring as to what is meaningful to them will reveal different needs, from a listening ear to spiritual support. Just be sure to hear what their needs are before you respond.

Here are some simple guidelines from a family therapist and reviewed by military families: 1. R each out. These are strong individuals that are drawn to serve; they may not ask!

2. R espect the privacy and boundaries set by the family.

3. R espond to their stated needs where you are able.

4. R esearch other ways to show support, from welcome home to giving time or financial support through trusted organizations.

If you or a loved one would like to get help, visit www.giveanhour.org and type in your zip code to find a provider in your area, or contact info@giveanhour.org. If you are a licensed mental health professional interested in joining Give an Hour’s network of volunteers, click “For Providers” on the website or visit www.connected.giveanhour.org to get started. n

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Deployment

by Chantel Olson

How did you explain military service to your daughter? How did you tell your daughter about the deployment?

Honestly, there was no easy way. We sat her down and asked her if she knew why daddy was in the Air Guards and we explained to her that “he protects us and our country from bad guys.” Then we told her, “Sometimes, our military heroes need to be gone from home for long periods of time to make sure we are all safe.” We explained to her that our military works as a team to keep us all safe and that she and I would need to be a team with daddy being gone that long. I know at the time when we told her it would be for 7 months, she didn’t get it. I don’t think she got it even when he left. Remembering back, I think about 2 months in is when it finally hit her that he would be gone for a lot longer than she expected. It was then that she truly began to miss him, and my main goal was to keep her little mind occupied for times like this.

She was my main priority of the summer. Not only was I worried about him, I woke up worrying about her and went to bed worrying about her.

I tried to fill her days with as much fun as we could have just to keep her mind off of his absence. I knew it was going to be hard for her because Jerime is a huge hands-on father.

He does everything with her. One of her first questions was, “Who’s gonna come have lunch with me every week at school?” He does that – he does it all, so I had some big shoes to fill!

What did your family do to prepare?

The first thing we did was go and buy a big huge jar and a big bag of gummy bears and we counted out a gummy bear for every day that he would be gone. After we counted

Others included: • a bat in our house • celebrating our 13-year anniversary without him • getting through Gracie spraining her wrist

Jerime’s deployment gift to us was an iPad, and I can’t even tell you how much FaceTime was our biggest gift. Everyday at 2pm our time, Gracie and I would race home from wherever we were and wait for Jerime’s call. There was not one time in his 7-month deployment that we didn’t talk at 2pm, whether it was for 30 seconds or 15 minutes. Just knowing we had that time everyday was a true blessing for all of us.

We shared pancake breakfasts, bedtime stories, Fourth of July fireworks, classroom parties, first day of school, and first snowfall. That connection and communication allowed all of us to feel a little normalcy in our lives, even though we were miles away. Our family and friends all knew that at 2pm, they could find Gracie and I huddled around the iPad with smiles on our faces, comforting each other through tears and laughter.

Another thing we did was send packages. I think we sent almost 20 total. It was a great way to send our love to him from far away. Facebook was also fabulous. I uploaded pictures every single day.

What advice do you have for families in the same situation?

Surround yourself with friends and family and support. Take everyone up on any offer to keep you busy. Gracie and I made so many wonderful memories and friends during the deployment. It’s amazing the people who reach out to you; it’s something I honestly will never forget. It was hard – don’t get me wrong. I had to keep a positive mind daily because if I didn’t, it was easy to wallow in grief. People always asked me, “Is it hard to have a child during deployment?” My answer was, “She was absolutely the best piece of joy I could have around me. She was my little piece of him, and my reason to stay happy and positive.”

I also kept a “YOU CAN DO IT” wall in our bedroom.

This was for more of a personal reason for myself, for all those things I had to depend on myself to get through instead of my husband. About 2 weeks into the deployment, I found myself with a flat tire. I didn’t even know what to do, but in the end, I did it, and I got my first Post-it® note. >

• snaking a toilet • carrying up our porch swing that blew off our deck during a storm (all by myself, might I add) These were just a few of my accomplishments, all those things that I depended on him to do. Each of the notes I put up made me believe that I could do it, that I was doing it, and that I will do it!

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Is there anything else you’d like to add?

We went into the deployment as a team, and we came out so much stronger in the end. Each day we could talk on the iPad made us focus on what was important and the end reward of being together. The little things didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, as long as he was safe and would be coming home to us. The night we picked him up from the airport was honestly the most emotional time in my life for me. Our relationship was solid going in, but at the end of the deployment I was more in love with him than I had ever been. I remember him coming down the escalator and scooping up Gracie. I let them have a moment, and then as soon as he set her down and motioned for me, everything became a blur. The only way I can describe it is an out of body experience. As crazy as it sounds, we were both lost in that moment, almost like two old souls reuniting again. I have never felt a greater joy or more love in my heart than at that moment, having my crazy little family back together! n To see additional photos check out ‘Hood’s website.

Photos courtesy of Christopher Reistroffer

them, we dropped them into the jar and put them right on her dresser in her room. Each night she would eat one and we would know we were one day closer. I can’t begin to tell you the excitement we felt when we could move the gummy bears into a smaller jar and squealed with delight when we were on our last week’s worth.

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• fixing our water heater

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

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ADOPTION

by Molly Wilson

How did you share your children’s adoption stories with them?

Three of our four children were adopted through foster care.

For us, it is something we discuss frequently in our home. Each of our children knows their own story and loves hearing it over and over. “Tell me about the day you first met me” has become their favorite bedtime story, and their faces light up as they hear about those precious moments. Because our children are still young, we have shared just the basics about their birth parents.

They all know who’s tummy they were in or who their mommy was when they were a baby, but they also know we were chosen to be their parents forever. Our oldest has been known to ask random people if they are adopted or not. To him, it’s like asking if you are right-handed or left-handed.

Did you create a lifebook?

Yes! We created lifebooks for all three of our adopted children, and we look back at them from time to time. As all children do, they love seeing pictures from when they were little.

Their lifebooks include photos of their birth moms. Sometimes they bring about more questions, and sometimes they just enjoy seeing the pictures. The lifebooks also include photos of important days like the first day in our home and pictures from court at their adoption finalization. These photos will continue to prompt conversations and help our children understand their own stories better as they get older.

What advice do you have for families who have adopted or plan to adopt?

Every child, every family, and every situation is different. We have chosen to be very open with our children and talk about adoption frequently. We have also connected with several other families. It is very helpful for us as parents to talk to other families who “get it” and for our kids to meet others who have been adopted. There are some wonderful adoption therapists in Sioux Falls who have been crucial for our family as well. Having a strong support network is essential!

We ARE MOVING

by Stephanie Wilde

How did you tell your children you were planning to move?

We had planned to wait to tell them until we had time to sit down and explain all the details about why we were moving for my husband’s job and the fun things they’d be able to do. However, our plan changed when the day came for my husband and I to make the 2 hour drive to meet with a realtor in our new town, Chamberlain. We had arranged for a friend to get the kids after school, but both children weren’t feeling well that morning so we decided to take them with us. We had to quickly explain that we were going to the town that we were planning to move to for Daddy’s job. It wasn’t our ideal way of telling them, but it gave us a whole day of open dialogue to discuss the situation. They felt really included as they were getting all the information about our new town the same time that we were.

How did you and your family prepare?

We had very little time to get our house on the market as my husband moved about 2 weeks after we decided that the job and community were the right fit for us. The kids and I stayed until the house sold in Sioux Falls and we traveled back and forth to see each other. I bought a few books about moving and encouraged my daughter, who is 7 and was having a harder time with the move, to keep a diary of her feelings and questions. We talked a lot about feelings. I had a few friends that had moved when they were about my kids’ age talk to them about their experiences, and that helped a lot. Having them talk with someone that had moved helped my daughter realize that she could still keep the friends that she’d made in Sioux Falls.

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

VISIT

thehoodmagazine.com

Coping with the

Unexpected Life can be overwhelming at times. All of us, regardless of what stage of life we find ourselves in, experience stressful moments and difficult seasons. How do we adapt and adjust when things simply do not go the way that we had hoped or planned?

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to read “How do I tell my child he/she is adopted?”

by Beccy Farrell, Counseling Intern, The Compass Center

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I think the first and most important part of coping is to realize that life is a journey and not simply a destination. It is the process of living and not just the checklist of finished tasks that matter. How we live our lives – how we treat ourselves and others around us – matters. We need to be mindful of the moments that we live in. Taking a few deep breaths, walking away from an escalating situation, allowing ourselves some time to walk, playing our favorite sport/ game, creating something beautiful or artistic, or taking a calming shower/bath – all of these things can help us cope and calm us down in the “heat of the moment.” Tell yourself the truth; this stressful time will pass. You can breathe and get through it.

What advice do you have for families in a similar situation?

I’d say just be as honest and open as possible.

Encourage questions and be prepared for some hard ones. Get to know the area that you are moving to as much as possible, and get involved with your new community. I went on Facebook and found many business and community pages including the Parks and Recreation page, so we enrolled both kids in swimming lessons the first week we were here. We also attended a lot of community events over the Fourth of July holiday.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Throughout our initial trip there were lots of questions, a few tears regarding leaving friends and cousins, however we kept talking about things and encouraged them to ask any questions they had at any time.

We’ve tried to let them know that just because we have moved, it doesn’t mean we have to forget about our old neighbors and friends. We get to keep our old friends and make new ones. It’s not goodbye, it’s just “until next time.” n

Our children will do what we do and not just do as we say, so modeling healthy ways of dealing with stress/emotions cannot be overestimated. For little ones, something as simple as regular meal/snack times and regular bedtimes can help regulate their stress. Labeling their feelings in a non-judgmental way can also be helpful. “I see that you are angry. I understand. Perhaps you need few minutes by yourself to calm down.” Giving all children healthy outlets to release pent-up energy is very important. Playing at the park, wrestling with a stuffed animal, or making a “couch fort” with blankets are all good examples of healthy physical outlets. Children’s emotions can be overwhelming at times. They can easily feel “swamped” by circumstances or situations. Even older children don’t have the life experience to know that these things will pass. Let them know it’s ok to walk away when things get heated. Provide opportunities for your older child to relax, feel productive, and utilize his/her abilities/talents. Value them and they will come to value themselves. Teach them that nurturing their own soul takes time and effort, but it is worth doing.

Remember, every parent has moments when they are stressed/exhausted. If you need help, ask. The most effective parents are those who nurture themselves so that they can in turn nurture their children. n For more resources on these tough topics, visit our website, www.thehoodmagazine.com.

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

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by Kristine Weires, LCSW-PIP

Children and Loss Loss is difficult for all of us at any age. Children are unique in that they must deal with the loss while not yet capable of fully understanding the meaning. Loss comes in many forms for children, not just death. It can be losing a best friend who moves away, moving to another home, even the loss of a favorite stuffed animal who gets left on the street outside the Children’s Museum in Brookings (luckily, this loss was averted by a quick U-turn on I-29 to retrieve the stuffed bear).

The loss of a pet is usually tough on the whole family, not just the child. Again, it’s not always as a result of death. Pets leave families for other reasons such as apartment restrictions or allergies that develop for the child or another member of the family. So, how do you talk to your child about loss?

• It’s important to remember the old saying, “Honesty is the best policy.” Lying to them and saying the pet “ran away” rather than died or “got run over” rather than went to live with someone else only delays the life lessons the child needs to learn about loss.

• See this as an opportunity to talk openly about feelings involved in loss such as sadness, anger, fear, and uncertainty. These feelings need to be expressed or they may come out in other ways later, most likely behaviorally through tantrums or depression.

• Check in with yourself about any loss in your life that is unresolved. This can keep you from being fully able to assist your child in dealing with loss if you avoid it due to past experiences.

• Give messages to your child that offer understanding and comfort. Be ready for tough questions about death, etc. Allow these questions and answer them honestly.

Yes, your child will go through some emotional pain. Remember though, in the long run, you are providing a valuable lesson in how to manage tough times and tough feelings. As always, if the child’s emotional distress becomes worrisome, seek professional guidance. n

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Loss of a Pet

by Anna Eidem

How did you explain the loss of your pet to your children?

When we lost our St. Bernard/Basset mix, in my eyes, we were fortunate to be with him as he died. We were just leaving town for Christmas when the kennel workers called and let us know that they needed to bring Homer to the emergency vet clinic. We met them at the clinic and were able to spend the final minutes with him. My three boys, ages 8, 6 and 3 all reacted differently to this situation, which can be expected because when it comes to loss, there isn’t “one way” to grieve.

My oldest seemed uncomfortable and unsure as to how to act.

My second-born was very emotional and tearful, and my youngest didn’t really know what was happening at the time and truly didn’t understand until we got back from vacation and he kept asking, “Where’s Homer?”

What advice do you have for families in the same situation?

Answer your children’s questions honestly and appropriately for their developmental level. Use it as a learning experience and a way to teach the finality of death. I noticed my six-year-old started connecting our pet’s death to human life as he began asking more questions about relatives we have lost. He knew that his relatives had died in years past, but he didn’t really seem to “get it” until the loss of Homer. When he saw that death meant being permanently gone in the physical form, he started to ask more questions about how others had died. Be careful about saying things like “they were sick” or “they went away” when children ask about how someone died as they might start getting anxious, which may cause separation issues, particularly in regards to parents and other close adults.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Wait until you are fully ready to get another pet. Take time to talk about your loss with your children and process through it to make sure everyone is ready.

September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

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CELEBRATE Your Best Birthday Party EVER! For 1 hour and 45 minutes...AAGA is all yours!

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• Access to select gymnastics equipment!

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• A staff member on site to ensure safety and fun!

This is all yours for $165 plus tax You may bring up to 12 children and if more than 12 children attend, it’s only $5 for each additional child. To reserve your party, there is a $50.00 non-refundable deposit which goes towards your balance.

FALL SCHEDULE: August 26-December 21 NO CLASSES November 25th-30th

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TUESDAY

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Walking to 6 years Punch Cards must be purchased (10 punches/card) do not expire 1 Card: $75 or 2 Cards: $130

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10:00-10:50 11:00-11:50 4:00-4:50 5:00-5:50 6:00-6:50

10:00-10:50 11:00-11:50 4:00-4:50 5:00-5:50 6:00-6:50 7:00-7:50

9:00-9:50 11:10-12:00 1:00-1:50 4:00-4:50 6:00-6:50

11:10-12:00 1:00-1:50 4:00-4:50 5:00-5:50 6:00-6:50 7:00-7:50

10:10-11:00 11:10-12:00

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1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

10:00-11:00 4:00-5:00 5:10-6:10 6:15-7:15

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11:10-12:10 1:00-2:00 5:00-6:00 6:10-7:10

11:10-12:10 1:00-2:00 6:00-7:00

10:10-11:10 11:15-12:15

TUMBLING TYKES

11:00-11:30 11:30-12:00

11:00-11:30 11:30-12:00

11:00-11:30 11:30-12:00

6:00-7:00

4:00-5:00 5:10-6:10 6:20-7:20 7:30-8:30

4:00-5:00

4:00-5:00 5:10-6:10 6:20-7:20 7:30-8:30

10:10-11:10 11:15-12:15

4:00-5:00

10:00-11:00

6:20-7:20 7:30-8:30

10:10-11:10 11:15-12:15

3-5 yr. old & potty trained 1 Class/week Cost: $65/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $113.75/mo

1 Class/week Cost: $40/mo

BEGINNERS

6-12 yr. old 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

BEGINNER BOYS

5:10-6:10

6-12 yr. old 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

ADVANCED I

4:00-5:00 5:10-6:10 6:20-7:20 7:30-8:30

4:00-5:00

INTERMEDIATE/ ADVANCED BOYS

5:10-6:10

6:30-7:30

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

5:00-6:00 6:10-7:10

5:10-6:10

Our Inflatable Birthday Parties are full of running, jumping, swinging FUN!

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The fee is due from now and returning families at the beginning of the member’s year and is nonrefundable.

ALL RATES INCLUDE TAX

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XCEL ADVANCED II

3:30-5:00 6:00-7:30

ADV XCEL JR/SR HIGH GYM

7:30-9:00

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $96/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $153.60/mo

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

3:30-5:00 6:00-730

6:15-7:45

FRIDAY

SATURDAY 11:15-12:45

7:30-9:00

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $96/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $153.60/mo

LEVEL 1 (PETITE ELITE)

3:30-5:00 5:15-6:45

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $96/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $153.60/mo

5:30-7:00

3:30-5:00 6:00-7:30

LEVEL 2 (PRETEAM)

5:00-7:00

3:30-5:30

BEGINNER TUMBLE

4:00-5:00

3:45-4:45 7:00-8:00

INTERMEDIATE TUMBLE

4:00-5:00

4:45-5:45

7:00-8:00

7:00-8:00 8:00-9:00 (JR/SR HIGH)

8:00-9:00 (JR/SR HIGH)

3:30-4:30

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11:00-1:00

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $115/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $184/mo 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

ADVANCED TUMBLE

Evaluation Required 1 Class/week Cost: $69/mo 2 Class/week Cost: $120.75/mo

TRAMPOLINE I

4:00-4:30

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OPEN GYM

(6-18 yrs) $10 per visit Punch cards:10 punches/$80

6:00-7:00

11:15-12:15

fun

Do want to see YOUR event listed HERE? Visit our new website and post your event. Our print calendar’s new design matches our new online calendar. For additional information about the events listed, please check our website.

‘Hood Magazine publishes the most recent information provided.

Please remember to call ahead to confirm event details.

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Monday, September 2 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials

Tuesday, September 3 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr 10:00 AM-10:30 AM Story Time Child’s Play Toys

Wednesday, September 4 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 10:00 AM-10:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 10:30 AM-11:00 AM Little Critters Storytime Barnes & Noble

WOW! Check out our online calendar for additional events!

3:30 PM-5:30 PM Movie Brandon Library

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Friday, September 6 6:30 PM-7:20 PM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 7:00 PM-10:00 PM Kids Night Out Star Performance, $15 (pre-registration required) 7:30 PM-8:00 PM Madeline Costume Character Storytime Barnes & Noble 9:00 PM-11:00 PM SkyMania Sky Zone, $16

Saturday, September 7 8:00 AM-1:00 PM Farmers Market-Saturdays Downtown Sioux Falls 9:00 AM-9:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 9:00 AM-12:00 PM Kids Workshop: Build A Football Ring Toss Game!

Home Depot (pre-registration required)

6:00 PM-7:00 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10/visit

9:00 AM-5:00 PM Sidewalk Arts Festival Washington Pavilion

7:00 PM-8:00 PM ICAN Sioux Falls Educated Mommy

9:30 AM-10:30 AM Cloth Diapering 101 Educated Mommy $10 (pre-registration required)

Thursday, September 5 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr

10:30 AM-11:30 AM Babywearing 101 Educated Mommy $10 (pre-registration required)

1:30 PM-3:30 PM New Baby & Me Sanford Health (pre-registration required)

11:15 AM-12:15 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10

Friday, September 6 10:00 AM-8:00 PM First Friday - Chalk the Walk Downtown Sioux Falls 5:00 PM-8:00 PM Free First Friday Washington Pavilion 6:00 PM-8:00 PM Touch a Truck and Other Things That Roll!

Harmodon Park

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

7:00 PM-10:00 PM Parents Night Out All American Gymnastics Academy $20/members $25/non-members

Sunday, September 8 1:00 PM-5:00 PM Jellystone Corn Maze

Monday, September 9 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials

Tuesday, September 10 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr 10:00 AM-10:30 AM Story Time Child’s Play Toys

Wednesday, September 11 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 10:00 AM-10:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 10:30 AM-11:00 AM Classic Stories Barnes & Noble 3:30 PM-5:30 PM Bit of Wii Brandon Library 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10 6:30 PM-8:30 PM Infant/ Toddler CPR Avera McKennan Education Center (ground floor of the Orthopedic Institute) $15 (pre-registration required)

Thursday, September 12 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr 1:30 PM-3:30 PM New Baby & Me Sanford Health (pre-registration required) 6:30 PM-8:30 PM Grandparents Class Sanford Health (pre-registration required)

Friday, September 13 6:30 PM-7:20 PM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required

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Friday, September 13

7:00 PM-10:00 PM Kids Night Out Star Performance, $15 (pre-registration required) 7:30 PM-8:00 PM Mermaids Storytime Barnes & Noble

Saturday, September 14 8:00 AM-1:00 PM Farmers Market-Saturdays Downtown Sioux Falls 9:00 AM-9:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 9:00 AM-10:00 AM Going Back to Work Support Group Educated Mommy 9:30 AM-11:00 AM Big Brother/Big Sister Sanford Health , $20 (pre-registration required) 10:00 AM-12:00 PM Kidgits Wizard of Oz Sioux Empire Mall $5 (or free for Kidgit members) 11:15 AM-12:15 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10

Sunday, September 15 12:00 PM-5:00 PM Kidoodle’s 3rd Birthday Bash Children’s Museum of South Dakota 1:00 PM-5:00 PM Jellystone Corn Maze

Monday, September 16 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 10:15 AM-10:45 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Oak View Library (pre-registration required) 1:30 PM-2:00 PM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Oak View Library (pre-registration required) 6:30 PM-7:30 PM What’s the Downward Dog on Prenatal Yoga?

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Monday, September 16 6:30 PM-8:30 PM CPR Family & Friends Sanford Health, $20 (pre-registration required)

Tuesday, September 17 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr 10:00 AM-10:30 AM Story Time Child’s Play Toys 10:15 AM-10:45 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Main Library (pre-registration required) 1:00 PM-1:30 PM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Main Library (pre-registration required)

Wednesday, September 18 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 10:00 AM-10:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 10:15 AM-10:45 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Prairie West Library (pre-registration required) 10:30 AM-11:00 AM Fairy Tales With a Twist Barnes & Noble 1:30 PM-2:00 PM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Prairie West Library (pre-registration required) 3:30 PM-5:30 PM Movie, Brandon Library (pre-registration required) 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10 6:30 PM-8:30 PM Baby & Fido Sanford Health, $20 (pre-registration required)

Thursday, September 19

Thursday, September 19 1:00 PM-1:30 PM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Ronning Library (pre-registration required) 1:30 PM-3:30 PM New Baby & Me Sanford Health 4:30 PM-5:30 PM Social Skills Groups Children’s Care Hospital & School $350 for Series of Classes (pre-registration required)

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7:00 PM-9:00 PM Grace Presbyterian Presents: Matthew Smith and Indelible Grace Washington Pavilion $10 (adults) / $7(children) (pre-registration required)

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6:00 PM-7:30 PM Baby & You: Baby Gourmet Homemade Baby Food 101 Sanford Health , $10 (pre-registration required)

Friday, September 20 10:15 AM-10:45 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Main Library (pre-registration required) 6:30 PM-7:20 PM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 7:00 PM-10:00 PM Kids Night Out Star Performance $15 (pre-registration required) 7:30 PM-8:00 PM The First Day of Autumn Barnes & Noble 9:00 PM-11:00 PM SkyMania Sky Zone, $16

Saturday, September 21 8:00 AM-1:00 PM Farmers Market-Saturdays Downtown Sioux Falls 9:00 AM-9:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required 10:00 AM-5:00 PM 15th Annual Apple Festival Country Apple Orchard 11:00 AM-12:00 AM Curiosity Day With Curious George Barnes & Noble

9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr

11:00 AM-11:30 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Main Library (pre-registration required)

10:15 AM-10:45 AM Little Outhouse on the Prairie Ronning Library (pre-registration required)

11:15 AM-12:15 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics, Academy, $10

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com |

WOW! Check out our online calendar for additional events!

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Wednesday, September 25

12:00 PM-5:00 PM 15th Annual Apple Festival Country Apple Orchard

Friday, September 27

9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials

6:00 PM-12:00 AM Boy Scout Camp-In: Chemistry Merit Badge Washington Pavilion $40 (Scouts) / $15 (Adults) (pre-registration required)

10:00 AM-10:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required

1:00 PM-5:00 PM Jellystone Corn Maze

Monday, September 23 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials

6:30 PM-7:20 PM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required

10:30 AM-11:00 AM Mo Willems Storytime Barnes & Noble

Tuesday, September 24 9:00 AM-4:00 PM Kids Open Craft Room Museum of Visual Materials 9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr

3:30 PM-5:30 PM Bit of Wii Brandon Library

7:00 PM-10:00 PM Kids Night Out Star Performance $15 (pre-registration required)

6:00 PM-7:00 PM Open Gym All American Gymnastics Academy, $10

7:30 PM-8:00 PM Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Barnes & Noble 9:00 PM-11:00 PM SkyMania Sky Zone, $16

Thursday, September 26

10:00 AM-10:30 AM Story Time Child’s Play Toys

9:30 AM-11:30 AM Toddler Time Sky Zone, $4/hr

7:30 PM-8:30 PM September Hands-On Learning Event, Barnes & Noble

1:30 PM-3:30 PM New Baby & Me Sanford Health

Saturday, September 28 9:00 AM-9:50 AM Little All Stars All American Gymnastics Academy Punch Card Required

Visit our online calendar for more events!

washington pavilion

community learning center

FALL Workshops

ON SALE NOW!

Are you looking for fun, educational activities for your children, yourself or as a gift for friends? Then check out our Pavilion Fall Classes, Camps and Workshops that explore visual art, science, and theatre! From one-day workshops for kids during the school year to week-long summer camps for youth, from wine on the wheel for adults to Sanford PROMISE classes for budding scientists, there truly is something for everyone!

WE HAVE THREE WAYS TO REGISTER:

1. Online at www.washingtonpavilion.org 2. Call our Box Office at 605.367.6000 (toll free 1-877-washpav) 3. Stop by the Washington Pavilion Box Office at 301 S. Main Ave. 24 |

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

local

Home for Sale: Building Miracles for Kids is dedicated to making a positive difference in the lives of sick and injured children. Our goal is to bring everyone in the community and building industry together to help us build a miracle home. The proceeds of the sale of the home will be donated to the Children’s Miracle Network at Sanford Children’s Hospital. Building Miracles for Kids aims to help the most important people in our community: the children.

See us on the Fall Parade of Homes!

September 14-16 & 21-23 #15 2005 Canyon Avenue Sioux Falls, SD Contact Rosewood Homes info@builtbyrosewood.com 309 W. 43rd St. #102 Sioux Falls, SD 57105 605-310-4475

Thank these Sponsors: A & B Concrete Component Manufacturing Company Cornerstone Poured Foundations, Inc. Frisbee’s Electrical Maxwell Drywall LLC Pro Framing, Inc. Scotts Lumber VanBuskirk Companies Al’s Finishing Boom Painting, Inc. Budget Blinds Builders Millwork & Windows Building Products Inc Creative Surfaces, Inc. Karl’s TV & Appliances Tom’s Drywall Inc

Unlimited Audio, Inc. Winter Inc A & B Pure Water Agan Drywall Supply AlphaGraphics Closets-N-More Concrete Materials Curb Appeal Landscapes CRC Seamless & Siding Dakota Radon Mitigation Dose’s Custom Cabinets Inc Fireplace Professionals First Dakota Title Gopher Irrigation, Inc. Hagen Grading Co. Hebron Brick Home Federal Bank Kouri Insurance

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Great Bear Recreation Park September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

25

family

Preventing Bullying: Every Family Can Help

As parents we have access to articles about how to help your child when they are bullied, how to help your child feel safe at school, and how to work with schools to prevent bullying. We know that there are staggering numbers of children being bullied and witnessing bullying in their schools each day, so all of that information is essential. However, no matter how we slice the statistics, someone’s child is doing the bullying and others are standing by trying to gain the courage to help. It is important for all of us to remember that our children are just learning and it is our job to help them as they grow. As parents, we can help to solve the bullying problem by giving our children the tools and support they need to do their best in any situation.

• F irst, keep your children safe. Help them understand when to run for help, when to report concerns, and what to do if they feel bullied.

• B e proactive. Help your child understand why it is important to treat others with kindness and respect. Work to develop empathy. Help them practice and talk about situations that they could encounter.

• T alk with your child openly and often about feelings and actions. When you are chatting about your child’s day at school, bring up the topic of how they are treating others, how they are being treated, and the type of behavior they are seeing with others. Use books and other media as an opportunity to discuss how characters behave in social situations.

• R esearch shows that bystanders play a critical role in stopping and preventing bullying.

Talk with your child about when to step in, when to report incidents to adults, and how to react when they see a situation that makes them uncomfortable.

• S adly, many children bully others in an effort to look “cool” to their peer group or get attention. Be sure your children know that they are valued and that they are loved.

• If your child is accused of bullying, hear all of the details before reacting. Get the information, then talk with your child to hear his/her side of the story. If your child is struggling with treating others kindly, consider requesting the help of a mental health professional to give your child the tools that he or she needs. n

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Photo courtesy of Kristi Shanks Photography

by Heather DeWit, Director of Childcare and Education Services, Lutheran Social Services

Fall Social Skills Groups!

Many children have a difficult time with socialization, group activities, and social events. If your child is having trouble fitting in, a social skills group may help.

These groups help children ages 4 to 16 with social awareness and skill level by teaching social skills and strategies in real-life situations.

Three 10-week groups, 4:30-5:30 p.m.

Group 1 Thursdays, September 19 - November 21 Group 2 Mondays, September 23 - November 25 ■ Group 3 Tuesdays, September 24 - November 26 ■

Led by Psychology Associate Aimee Deliramich, PhD

■

For details or to register, call (605) 444-9700. *Insurance coverage not applicable. Scholarships may be available.

1020 W. 18th St., Sioux Falls, SD 57104-4707 www.cchs.org

September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

27

family

by Shaina Herrmann, http://shainasdeals.com

When Money Runs Out http://dss.sd.gov or call (605) 773-3165 for information on Medicaid, Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), the Supplimental Nutrition Assitance Program (SNAP) and others that may be beneficial to you and your family.

If you are a family dealing with a recent job loss or you’re in place where you’re simply unable to bring in enough money to cover all your needed expenses, South Dakota provides many programs to help you and your family cope with a number of financial challenges.

Short Term Food Assistance: Food Pantry – If you are in a major bind and need to feed your family, the Sioux Falls food pantry can supply your family with food for up to 5 days. feedingsouthdakota.org Mobile Food Pantry – You can visit the Mobile Food Pantry once a month through different Lutheran church locations around Sioux Falls. mobilefoodpantry.org

The Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) program provides your family with many essential nutritional foods and nutritional counseling on a monthly basis. They also provide health screenings and free lactation services for nursing mothers. Call (605) 367-5228 for information on how to apply.

Sanford’s Community Care Program offers financial assistance to those who have had difficulty qualifying for other available programs. Call (605) 328-6585 for information on how to apply.

Faith Temple – Every Wednesday, Faith Temple provides a meal at the church, and they also occasionally do large food giveaways at the Fairgrounds. faithtemplefood.com Churches – If you’re involved in a church or know someone that is, ask about food programs that they offer to families in need.

Long Term Assistance Programs:

Additional Resources: Project 8 – Provides free car seats and boosters for families that qualify. (605) 333-0698 Low Income Energy Assistance (LIEAP) – Helps South Dakotans pay for home heating costs. Call 1-800-233-8503 for an application to be mailed to you. n

The DSS offers many programs for both adults and children to help cover food, medical, and childcare expenses. Visit

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September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

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by Alyssa Kuecker, Avera McKennan Hospital & University Health Center

child 29

RecognizingHarmful

Behaviors in Kids As children and adolescents embark on their most formative and influential years, parents hope their own kids thrive in school, activities, interests and relationships. However, nothing causes more frustration and fear than to witness a kid’s internal struggle that is difficult to understand or even share with mom and dad. Shane Hamilton, CSW-PIP, MSW, of Avera Behavioral Health Outpatient Services, shines light on behavioral health issues kids face and offers support, techniques and encouragement to both patients and parents.

or bullying, may cause the child to find an unhealthy coping behavior to deal with the situation.

“A wide range of behavioral health issues, displayed both internally and externally, can affect kids and adolescents,” said Hamilton. “ADHD, anxiety, autism, depression, disruptive disorders, mood disorders, adjustment disorders and substance abuse comprise just a starting list of problems that can further complicate a kid’s life.”

It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly which child may face a behavioral health issue or even what kind of issue, but parents can decrease the likelihood of such a behavior occurring. “The biggest thing a parent can do is just being ‘there’ and being present to listen. Kids may not open up completely, but a comfortable environment ensures they’ll be more willing to share information and feelings rather than bottling them up,” Hamilton explains.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, 13 to 20 percent of youth will experience a behavioral/mental disorder in a given year. In other words, your child may be the one in five affected by a disorder.

Biological or environmental factors play a role in the development of behavioral health issues. For example, kids may develop ADHD, depression or anxiety if the biological makeup is present in their genes, which are passed down from immediate or extended family members. An environmental event, such as a divorce, death

“Behavioral issues are accompanied by a wide range of symptoms, most of which cause impairment in everyday life,” says Hamilton. “These may include acting up or struggling in school, withdrawing from friends and social situations, anxiety, abusing alcohol or substances, etc. If left untreated, these behaviors could lead to self-harm and suicide.”

So what should you do if you suspect your child is dealing with an issue that is affecting his or her life?

“First off, trust your parental gut. If you think something’s up, there’s probably something up,” reveals Hamilton.

“Talk to your family physician, who has your child’s history. Your doctor will then give suggestions and referrals, such as a therapist or a psychiatrist for medication. Many times, a combined approach of therapy and medication leads to an ideal outcome.” n September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

eats

SIDE

Dishes

Baked Parmesan Tomatoes Ingredients • 4 tomatoes, halved horizontally • 1/4 c freshly grated parmesan cheese • 1 tsp chopped fresh oregano • 1/4 tsp salt • Freshly ground pepper, to taste • 4 tsp extra-virgin olive oil

Directions

Preheat oven to 450° F. Place tomatoes cut-side up on a baking sheet. Top with Parmesan, oregano, salt and pepper. Drizzle with oil and bake until the tomatoes are tender, about 15 minutes.

Skillet Squash Medley Ingredients • • • •

1 tbsp olive oil ½ c chopped onion, yellow or red 3 cloves garlic, finely minced 3 medium zucchini, sliced about 1/8- to 1/4-inch thick, in rounds or half moons • 3 medium yellow squash, sliced about 1/8- to 1/4-inch thick, in rounds or half moons • 2-3 ripe tomatoes, chopped • 1/4 c freshly grated parmesan cheese

Directions

In a large nonstick skillet over medium heat, sauté the garlic and onion in the olive oil until the onions begin to turn translucent, stirring constantly so the garlic doesn’t burn, about 3-4 minutes. Add the zucchini and squash, tossing well with the olive oil mixture. Sauté over medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Add the chopped tomatoes.

Continue cooking and stirring until the zucchini and squash are tender and the tomatoes have broken down, about another 2 minutes.

Toss the hot mixture with the parmesan cheese. Serve immediately.

30 |

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Grilled Garden Salad

Garden Goulash Ingredients 4 tbsp butter 1 large tomato, seeded and chopped 1 leek, finely chopped 3 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled Salt and pepper 2 ears corn, kernels scraped off the cob (about 1 c) 1 lb garden peas, shelled (about 1 c) 1 small yellow squash, chopped ¼ lb green beans, halved crosswise ¼ lb okra, sliced 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil

eats

• • • • • • • • • • •

31

Directions

In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the tomato, leek and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender; season with salt and pepper.

Add the corn, peas, squash, beans and okra and cook until the vegetables are al dente, about 15 minutes. Toss with the basil and serve.

Ingredients • 2 ears corn on the cob, husks and silk removed • 2 small yellow squash, each cut lengthwise into 3 slices • 2 small zucchini, each cut lengthwise into 3 slices • 2 tomatoes, chopped • 1/3 cup Italian Dressing • 2 tbsp lemon juice • 1 clove garlic, minced • 3 tbsp grated parmesan cheese • 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil

Directions

Heat grill to medium-high heat. Grill corn 15 min. or until kernels are tender and browned, turning occasionally; cool slightly. Meanwhile, grill squash and zucchini 5 min. or until tender, turning occasionally. Cut kernels off cobs; place in medium bowl. Chop squash and zucchini. Add to corn with tomatoes; mix lightly. Mix dressing, lemon juice and garlic. Add to vegetable mixture; mix lightly. Top with cheese and basil.

Do you want to see your recipe in ‘Hood Magazine?

Submit your recipe via facebook or email us at hoodlums@thehoodmagazine.com

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

eats

SIDE

Dishes

Sugar Snap Peas and Red Bell Pepper Toss Ingredients • • • • • • •

2 tbsp butter 1 lb sugar snap peas, trimmed 1 red bell pepper, cut into thin strips 3 shallots, sliced 2 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 tsp salt 1/8 tsp ground red pepper

Directions

Melt butter in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add green beans, bell pepper strips, and remaining ingredients, tossing to coat. Add 1/4 cup water. Cook, covered, 4 to 6 minutes; uncover and cook, stirring often, 1 to 2 more minutes or until water is evaporated and beans are crisp-tender.

Tangy & Refreshing Pineapple Salsa Ingredients • • • • • •

medium-size pineapple, peeled, cored, and diced A 6 large radishes trimmed and diced A medium yellow, orange or red bell pepper, diced 4 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro Freshly squeezed juice of a lime Fresh ground salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Chop the pineapple up into bite sized pieces, along with the pepper and radish - making sure the dice are roughly the same size, and the amount of pineapple equals the amount of radish and pepper, more or less.

Add the cilantro and salt and pepper. Mix it all together in bowl, and serve immediately.

32 |

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

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September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

33

parent

by Stephanie Spaan, Excel Achievement Center

IEP Meetings In the July/August issue, I wrote about the intervention process that we can do if our children are struggling.

This article is about what to do once your child has been identified as having a learning disability and is receiving services through his/her school.

An IEP (Individualized Education Plan) is put into place for every child who qualifies for special services. Once a year, the entire team of people who are involved with this plan will come together to discuss progress and set goals for the future. Parents often tell me how overwhelming this process can be for them for the following reasons: • T hey feel outnumbered with the amount of school staff that is at the meeting.

• S ome of the educational jargon is difficult to understand.

• T hey are uncertain of their rights and what they can and cannot say at this meeting.

Here are a few tips to assist parents with this meeting.

1. T here are several liaisons in town that are free of charge and will attend these meetings with parents on their behalf. These services are South Dakota Parent Connection’s Navigator Program at (605) 361-3171 and the SD Advocacy Program at 1-800-658-4782.

2. K now your rights! Both of the above services have the book What Parents Should Know…About Special Education in South Dakota for families that is yours to keep free of charge. A few suggestions from this book are:

• Request a copy of any assessment or evaluation reports and ask to have them at least one week before the IEP team meeting.

• Review your child’s current IEP.

• Write a list of your strengths and needs.

• Write a list of goals you would like your child to accomplish and also the goals that your child wants to accomplish.

• Write down any questions you may have.

3. F eel free to speak up! Ask any and all questions.

Realize that no decision can be made without your permission.

4. F ind out the specific methods and curriculum that are being used with your child. Request the research that proves this method is the right one for your child’s individual needs.

The key for all parents to remember is this: you are not alone! Please keep asking the questions and always follow your intuition. Remember, your child will always tell you what he/she needs. n

p ‘hood should Stay involved in your child’s education.

You and your child know best!

34 |

July/August 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

Services are customizable to your individual needs.

Kristine Weires CSW-PIP

Life’s many transitions can be overwhelming, but we help them go smoothly by assisting people with everyday tasks and doing the things they enjoy.

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September 2013 thehoodmagazine.com |

35

parent

by Wendy Giebink, NAMI South Dakota

Childhood Mental Illnesses:

Addressing a Problem Early Leads to Better Health Throughout Life Your son has been sleeping more than usual. He avoids his friends, quit the basketball team, and spends hours in his room playing computer games.

Your four-year-old daughter has begun to wet the bed again after having dry nights for over a year. She is afraid of things that didn’t scare her before, like strangers and the dark.

Your second grader struggles in school.

The teacher says he is aggressive on the playground and has few friends.

So how can you tell if your child’s behavior problems are serious? Many everyday stresses can cause changes in behavior, but the following signs may indicate the need for professional help: • Decline in school performance, or poor grades despite strong effort • Constant worry or anxiety • Changes in appetite or sleep • Returning to behaviors previously outgrown • Depression, sadness or tearfulness • Frequent aggression or temper tantrums • Social withdrawal or fearful behavior

Should you be worried? What’s normal?

What’s not? And how is a parent supposed to know?

Every child is different, even within the same family. Even normal development, such as when children develop language, motor and social skills, varies from child to child.

But children’s mental health problems are more common than most people realize. One in five children has a diagnosable mental health problem, but nearly two-thirds of them get little or no help.

That’s important to know, because research shows that half of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14. Scientists are discovering that changes in the body leading to mental illness may start even before symptoms appear. And early identification and intervention are the best predictors of successful treatment. Parents and family members are usually the first to notice problems with a child’s emotions and behavior.

36 |

September 2013 | thehoodmagazine.com

• Signs of self-destructive behavior or thoughts of death Just like adults, children with mental illness are diagnosed by a doctor or mental health specialist. The first step in helping your child should include a visit to your pediatrician. You can assist by bringing a list of your concerns and observations, including any concerns reported to you by your child’s teacher or babysitter. The doctor and mental health specialist can work with you to develop a treatment plan for your child.

When your child’s behavior concerns you, don’t panic, but do take action and get help. Your child’s mental health is as important as his or her physical health. In fact, they are one and the same. Mental illnesses are physical illnesses.

They are real, common and treatable.

Some resources for parents include: the NAMI Child and Adolescent Action Center at www.nami.org; www. samhsa.gov/children; and www.nlm.nih.gov. n

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