West Valley - May 2024

Beat the Heat

FROM THE EDITOR

Happy Mother’s Day!

I love May because the month provides us with many opportunities to celebrate the achievements of our friends and family, thank our mothers, and honor those patriots who paid the ultimate price to serve our Country.

As I wrote this month’s content, I realized not everyone enjoys the celebrations, because they are reminders of significant loss, whether it be a spouse, parent, child or dear friend. Because of this, this month’s issue of The Grand Season is focused on processing grief.

I was touch by this quote from Helen Keller:

“We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world – the company of those who have known suffering.”

If you are in the midst of a difficult season of life, I hope you are surrounded by people who support, respect and provide you with the encouragement to move forward each day.

Thank you for your support of The Grand Season and our local advertisers!

Melissa Whitton Associate Publisher

INSPIRE

GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Tears are the silent language of grief.

Voltaire

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving

Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.

Rumi

Grief is the price we pay for love.

Queen Elizabeth II

There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Grief changes shape, but it never ends.

Keanu Reeves

We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world – the company of those who have known suffering.

Helen Keller

The song is ended but the melody lingers on.

Irving Berlin

When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

Anonymous

Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for.

Terry Pratchett

FRIENDS

DON’T BE EMBARRASSED

Coping with the loss of a pet can be particularly hard at this stage in life. If you live alone, you may feel a loss of purpose and an immense emptiness because your pet may have alleviated any sense of loneliness or isolation. Most likely, your pet may have motivated you to get out for a walk or to establish a meaningful daily routine by taking care of their needs. And most of all, your pet was a source of unconditional love and constant companionship.

After the loss of your pet, it’s critical you take immediate steps to cope with your loss and regain a sense of purpose. Make every effort to interact with friends and family and alleviate the loneliness.

Consider calling a pet loss support hotline or even volunteering at a local humane society. Engaging with needy animals may help you as you grieve for your own loss, knowing that you’re providing them with much-needed love and physical contact. There are also organizations that need foster families for pets. You may be able to provide loving companionship to an animal as a way of honoring the memory of your own companion.

As you grieve, remember:

• Your loss is as deserving of sorrow and grief as any other. You may share a bond with your animal as you have had with humans. Allow yourself to grieve, and don’t judge yourself – your grief is appropriate and should be recognized.

• There is no timeline on grief. Only you know when you can move through a day with less sadness, and no one can tell you that it’s “time to move on.”

• Don’t be embarrassed by your feelings nor hide them. Suppressing feelings may only lead to greater grief later on, or even physical ailments often associated with depression.

To keep your brick walkway clear of grass and weeds, sprinkle salt in the cracks.

For even distribution in sowing seeds for your garden, use a saltshaker for tiny seeds. You can get a cheese shaker for larger seeds, if necessary.

Did you have too much summer fun last year? Be ready to soothe that sunkissed skin this year with frozen aloe vera. Use an ice-cube tray to freeze aloe vera gel, and let the soothing begin!

DINING GUIDE

The super-busy Tom Hanks has finally picked his next project. He’ll reteam with Robert Zemeckis, the director of “Forrest Gump” to work on a film called “Here.” It follows the events and inhabitants of a single room, spanning from the past into the future. Robin Wright (who saved “House of Cards”), Paul Bettany and “Downton Abbey’s” Michelle Dockery co-star.

Jacob Elordi is the new “it” guy. So far, he’s played a sexy, roguish high schooler in the Netflix trilogy “The Kissing Booth,” Elvis Presley in “Priscilla,” and a wealthy college student in “Saltburn.” His next roles are the title role of “Frankenstein” (the monster, not the doctor) and a young Richard Gere in “Oh, Canada.” He will also play a young gambler working in a Las Vegas casino who has a romantic relationship with a male co-worker in the upcoming drama “On Swift Horses.”

Dinner and a Movie!

LOVE HEARTBROKEN

Losing a spouse is devastating and requires one of the most significant life adjustments you’ll ever have to make. Right now, you may be uncertain how you will survive this overwhelming loss or rebuild your life. You may even question if you have the energy or desire to try. The following suggestions may help you move toward healing after your spouse has passed away.

1. Allow Yourself to Process Your Loss

Your partner has passed. If you feel confused, angry, or lost, it’s natural because you have lost a part of yourself. You are now faced with the difficult but important need to mourn.

2. Grieve in Your Own Way

Your experience with grief after your loss will be influenced by the circumstances surrounding the death, other losses you have experienced, your emotional support system, and your cultural and faith background. Don’t compare your grieving experience with that of others.

3. Talk Out Your Thoughts and Feelings

Healing starts when you can share your grief with others. Allow yourself to talk about the death, your feelings of loss and loneliness and the special things you miss about your spouse.

4. Feel a Mixture of Emotions

Experiencing the death of a spouse affects your head, heart, and spirit. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, relief, and anger are just a few of the emotions you may feel. Don’t be overwhelmed if you suddenly experience periods of pain or grief that seem to come from nowhere. Allowing yourself to learn from these feelings and emotions helps you heal.

5. Understand that Grief Is Hard Work

Grief is emotional and physical. Respect what your body is telling you. Treat yourself as you would a good friend.

6. Do Things When the Time Is Right

There are practical things you must do right away, but for the most part, don’t make yourself do anything until you are ready. You can make some decisions now and wait before making other decisions. Don’t let others make decisions for you.

7. Celebrate the Memory of Your Spouse

The times you will miss your partner most are the special days the two of you shared. Since pain and loss can be greater during those times, it might help to be with someone else.

AAA SENIOR PLACEMENT AZ

A Message from Sue Royer

“I was born and raised in inner city Chicago, the sixth of eighteen children with fifteen brothers. Being the oldest daughter, I was always a caregiver which I believe influenced me to pursue work in the healthcare industry. Today, I have three daughters and five grandchildren.

Years ago, I volunteered for hospice and knew immediately that helping seniors was my calling. I was soon employed by hospice but I felt something was missing. I realized it was the limited time I was able to spend with my clients. Having my own business allows me to provide the intimate hands on service needed in our community. I am committed to our seniors throughout their lives and I thank the community for the opportunity to serve.”

Sue RoyerDirector

About Us

Since 2002, AAA Senior Placement AZ has been offering FREE services helping seniors find safe, affordable and loving assisted living.

When it becomes too difficult for you or your loved ones to safely manage daily living and/or manage medical needs, call Sue Royer for help navigating the many options available.

We are specialists in all levels of assisted living care resources with referrals to Arizona’s best:

• Group Homes

• Assisted Living Communities

• In-Home Primary Care Physicians

• Home Health Care Therapy

• Transportation

• Private Duty In-Home Care

• Respite Care

• Alzheimer’s Care

• Memory Care

• Hospice

• Support Groups

Assisted living resources accepting:

• Private pay

• Arizona Long Term Care-ALTCS

• Medicaid

• VA Benefits

6 Reasons You Should Call

AAA Senior Placement AZ

• We are well known and respected in the medical community.

• All clients are given a thorough assessment to determine proper placement needs.

• There is never a fee charged to the senior or their family for our service.

• We are NOT contractually bound to any outside business. This allows us to serve our clients with only their interests in mind.

• Years of knowledge and experience in the field of senior care.

• AAA Senior Placement AZ is family owned, allowing us to give you quality, personalized service.

No one ever plans to be sick, disabled or die. Yet, planning for the future can make all the difference in an emergency and at the end-oflife. Following are some common steps to consider when getting your affairs in order:

1. Plan for your estate and finances. Depending on your situation, you may choose to prepare different types of legal documents to outline how your estate and finances will be handled in the future. Common documents include a will, durable power of attorney for finances, and a living trust.

2. Plan for your future health care. Many people choose to prepare advance directives, which are legal documents that provide instructions for medical care and only go into effect if you cannot communicate your own wishes due to disease or severe injury. The most common advance directives include a living will and a durable power of attorney for health care.

3. Put your important papers and copies of legal documents in one place. You can set up a file, put everything in a desk or dresser drawer, or list the information and location of papers in a notebook.

4. Tell someone you know and trust where to find your important papers. You don’t need to discuss your personal affairs, but someone you trust should know where to find your papers in case of an emergency.

If you’re looking for professional help with your legal documents, reach out to Kramer Legacy Documents at (623) 974-2272.

YOU THE MOURNER’S BILL OF RIGHTS

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Though you should reach out to others as you do the work of mourning, you should not feel obligated to accept the unhelpful responses you may receive from some people. The following list is intended to empower you to heal and decide how others can and cannot help.

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell what you should or shouldn’t be feeling.

2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief.

3. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.

4. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your beliefs.

5. You have the right to search for meaning.

You may find yourself asking “Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. Also, watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you.

6. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember them. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.

7. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.

Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself.