Leeza's Care Connection

Where caregivers go for care — and so much more

By Leeza Gibbons

Wouldn't it be great if caring for someone you love gained you access to some elite club where membership is exclusive and desirable? What if being a caregiver gave you elevated status and respect? Well, that’s a fantasy! We all know not only is that NOT the case, but most often we’re drafted kicking, screaming and resisting into caregiving, certain our lives are coming to a sad and lonely place.

Like millions of others trying to make sense of their new caregiver identity, I've been there, looking down a long, dark road with no exit. That's why I created Leeza's Care Connection when my mom had Alzheimer's disease. As our family watched her begin to disappear from her own life, memory by memory, we each went to our respective corners to lick our wounds.

Regardless of one’s intelligence level, financial status or education level, such circumstances can render a person feeling helpless and hopeless. Leeza’s Care Connection became what we wished we'd had at the time: a place to been seen, supported and held up when everything seems to be falling down. I always say we are on loan to each other in the community, so we created a 501(c)(3), supported and funded entirely by sponsorships and donations in the Midlands. While I provided the seed money to get us going, we have been grateful that businesses, friends and neighbors quickly saw the value in what we were doing and wrapped us up in support.

With a sense of family, community and a path forward, we offer free services to care partners and their loved ones facing a chronic illness or disease. These services

I created Leeza's Care Connection 20 years ago. In my work today, I still see the following caregiving lessons in action every day: range from our education series and support groups to movement and art classes. We gather virtually and in person to remind our community that you can hold on to yourself even as you’re forced to let go of someone you love.

1. Hit the reset button. Plan, prepare, research and get ready. You can't always anticipate where you're going next or what you'll need, but keep moving anyway, making sure to release and reset expectations along the way.

2. It's OK if you're not OK. It's time to walk away from that cape-wearing, tough-as-nails, I-can-do-it-by-myself version of yourself. Admitting you need help is courage in action.

3. Me first. Those who have been caring long-term know this is non-negotiable. Learn ways to nourish, replenish and refresh yourself. And NEVER apologize for doing those things.

4. Hang on to hope. Getting caught up in all the stuff that needs dealt with and managed can cause us to lose sight of how important it is to stay hopeful. We're not machines. We are feeling, caring, emotional humans who need to believe we'll get through it.

5. Burn your people-pleaser card You’re the one on the front lines, not the myriad of others weighing in on everything you do. Trying to please them only results in frustration, anxiety and compromised care for your loved one. Listen to well-meaning input, consider what’s best and then set your course — without apology. Use my mom’s advice: Show up, do your best, let go of the rest.

Peggy Jones and her mother, Phyllis, became familiar faces at our South Carolina center after Peggy began caring for her mom. "I felt welcomed and relieved to be able to get my mom involved in the activities, learn as much as I could about dementia and to have a safe place to voice my frustrations," said Peggy, who calls Leeza’s Care Connection her “comfort zone.”

Most of our guests tell similar stories of resilience and finding strength through vulnerability.

“I felt like I walked into a big hug,” said volunteer and caregiver Mary Ann Hutcheson, who helps provide care for her best friend. “What they do at Leeza’s Care Connection is extraordinary in a world that has almost forgotten what real giving and caring is all about.”

It's true. After all, “Care” is our middle name. We know that better care for caregivers creates better outcomes for care receivers, and that no one should walk the path alone. We connect our guests to resources, to each other and to their own courage and strength through three primary categories: education, empowerment and energy. We also know many of those who are called to care don’t know where to begin and often become overwhelmed. That frustrates the process, so we begin to chip away at it by creating a sense of confidence and competence through education. We help with empowerment in many ways, but it all comes down to our programs that bolster a sense of community, validation and self-esteem. Built-up stress in the body creates mental and physical illness, and finding outlets to release it is essential. That’s the energy portion of our offerings, which can be anything from drum circles, to tai chi, to art, to humor. Caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint, so we make sure our guests have the energy to sustain themselves on the journey.

We are part of a movement focused on honoring the journey of all care partners. This means elevating the status of caring by creating a culture of caring, kindness, diversity and inclusion. Always seeking ways to be of service, we extend hope to those caregivers lost, angry, frustrated or afraid. They’re often running out of resources, strength and money — and sometimes even faith. When they fall apart, we help put them back together and back on track so they can breathe, believe and receive.

If you need us, we’re here.

For more information, visit LeezasCareConnection.org.