Final thought

Final thoughts.....

Today my Audi Q7 decided to shed all it’s coolant and left me stranded in a Tesco car park. Not sure what the problem is, but I did pick up the car from Audi service in the morning as they had just replaced a faulty oil pump under warranty. Apparently, it’s a big job where the front parts of the engine have to be removed. So an uncomfortable conversation (for them) will be held on Monday morning with the dealership.

So there I am stranded amongst Saturday shoppers trying to phone RAC for recovery or a nice man in a van to come and check what the issue could be. Except you can’t.

You see, since COVID19, the world, you may have noticed, has gone a bit…. crap. We’ve had to adapt to new ways of doing things and one of them is now having to fill out an online form to the RAC website to request recovery. No comforting operator to calm you down and to tell you everything will be ok. Unless you are broken down on the motorway or somewhere equally dangerous that is, then they will put you through to a human being who’s probably sitting under a palm tree in Bali. So if you are still living in the past and don’t have a smart phone, you are buggered!

The only communication I was receiving from the RAC was a text update every thirty minutes, informing me that they will be texting me in 30 minutes to update me. Two hours thirty minutes later, whilst moaning in one of the Drivers Union WhatsApp groups, someone asked me if I had called Audi Assist. Audi Assist???

Now I’m not exactly the macho/tough guy/ real man type of chap, but I am man enough not to read ‘manuals’. Apparently, there is a button above me that once pressed, connects to a real person and a very friendly person at that, who told me everything will be ok. Lo and behold, 60 minutes later, a recovery truck arrived courtesy of Audi Assist and still no sign of Mr RAC.

Whilst waiting for recovery and so frustrated with the Q7 and it’s faults that I called Darren Nash, our resident guru on car leasing deals and we chatted about which car I should lease next. From a BMW M5, very tasty but expensive to various Mercedes 4x4’s and everything in between, but definitely not Audi. No way will I buy another Audi. We finally settled on a great deal on a Mercedes S350. With the added bonus that if this magazine lark doesn’t work out, I could always do a bit of upmarket Uber on the side.

The recovery drivers name was Don and he was from Lithuania and we got chatting. I told him what had happened and that I was going to replace the Q7 with Mercedes S Class. “No, No, No… they always break down. Very unreliable” he replied. “For every 1,000 Mercedes made, 500 break down. It’s always the electronics with Mercedes. Same with Land Rover, always breaking down. If there were no Mercedes and Land Rovers, I would have a lot less work”.

What about BMW I ask? He shakes his head slowly. “They are ok but driven by young men who drive them hard and break them. The most reliable is Japanese like the Prius. The only time I pick them up is when they have accidents or destroy their tyres”. Porsches? He shrugs. “They are ok, same with Ferrari and Lamborghini. It’s mostly coolant problems with them.” Rolls Royce? “I once picked up the same RR Wraith and driver three times in one year. He damaged his tyres all three times.

So apart from the Japanese brands, which marque would he buy from? “Audi for sure!. They are very strong and much better than the Mercedes and BMW. I rarely pick up Audi’s.”

So there you have it. If you want to know which brands are the most reliable, ask your recovery driver next time he pick up your broken car. I’m now off to see what Audi deals Darren has.

Syeed Ali

PS. I leased a Mercedes S350 in the end.