Block 7, 2024
Dear readers,
Please know that this message is not just on the behalf of The Disincentive editors, nor even just our extended staff, this message is being passed along all the way from the top. That’s right - L. Song, Dr. Whitaker, Joe Biden, your mom, they all wanted us to let you know that the vibes these days - have been a bit off.
The truth is often the heaviest burden to bear. And this truth is some of y’all have been playing the vibe piano just a bit out of tune. And we’re once again asking you to join us on a vibe wavelength compatible with one of the best block eights that Colorado College, nay THE WORLD, has ever seen.
So we humbly request a prompt increase in the following: darties, men in slutty little 5 inch in-seams, random discussions of celestial events, large landscaping tools, honky tonk music, and midday snack-meals. Accordingly, we need a decrease of the following: bad vibes.
Please do not hesitate if you have any questions at all, Your Disincentive Editors editors@thedisincentive.com @the_disincentive
Tava’s Gate Speaks Out: Why You Should Join Their Cult
Tava’s Gate is more than a cult. It’s more than a group of students exploring one another's' bodies. It’s more even than their recent dance workshop success.
Tava’s Gate is the Colorado College on-campus cult that is “just getting started.”
Founder of the cult, Claire Kennedy ‘25 says the group “started just like any other.”
“We were sitting around one day, bored out of our minds, and I just threw out the idea of, you know, worshiping Satan, possessing one another's bodies, and forming a deep connection to the evil in the universe.”
Since that initial meeting over 90 students have joined Tava’s Gate. At present about 23 of them remain.
“I think there’s some misunderstanding of what it is our group does. To be clear most of our meetings are just us sharing a couple of brewskies and, you know, talking about things like bras and shit. We save our more impressive body possession work for public performances like dance workshop” said a long term member Thaxter Thaltimier ‘24.
CC Administration Changes Protest Guidelines
Colorado College administration recently announced a new series of on-campus protest guidelines being instituted for the fall of 2024. These changes come in response to the increase of demonstrations happening both at Colorado College and nationally related to the ongoing war in Gaza.
Students at CC have done courageous work calling out injustice against Palestine - which of course is a bit scary to Colorado College and their bottom line. Thus, these new regulations were devised.
Mind you - most universities limit free speech to some capacity on their campuses. And in case you’re wondering, yes that is in direct contradiction to the constitution.
One of the primary restrictions the administration rolled out was restriction 14b sub-point a which reads “Public protest is henceforth in direct violation to the mission, vision and values of Colorado College. Any student engaging in the incredibly disruptive practice of public protest will face immediate disciplinary action.”
In response to student uproar surrounding this new
Tava’s Gate Speaks Out: Why You Should Join Their Cult
(continued from page 1)
CC Administration Changes Protest Guidelines
(continued from page 1)
How to Respond to Your Roommate if They Ask to Have the Room
- By Anonymous
Eclipse Rizz to Use in 2040
DISCLAIMER
Everything in this paper is completely satirical. While we took inspiration from our campus and the surrounding community, we made up everything here. The quotes, the events, the news: all of it is NOT REAL. Any similarity to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. We have deep respect for the efforts and products of on-campus publications and are privileged to draw inspiration from their work. Thank you for picking up a copy of The Disincentive. We look forward to never talking.
Answers to Last Block’s Crossword
Quotes of the Block
“ ”
Your housing doesn’t feel like a ‘me’ issue.
- CC Housing Department Staffer
“
EVERYTHING’S FINE.
- CCSGA ”
- Bitch who is definitely a Pomeranian “ ”
I mean yes Tinder is a cesspool but I think that I might just be a sewer rat.
- CC Administration “ ”
Protest is fine as long as you do it exactly in the way that is most convenient to the college and that makes us look good.
- RoCCY “ ”
Watching a fire burn is only satisfying if you’re the one who lit it.
“ ”
We’ve gotta lock in guys.
- Group project easily 4 hours into being unlocked
Sports
Crossword
