November 3, 2016

SEX IN COLLEGE PARK 2016

2 A LOOK inside umd’s REVAMPED sex week by elle einwaechter 4 tinder horror stories to scare your pants on by conner hoyt 4 navigating love, sex and relationships from a long distance by anna muckerman 5 a sex crossword to get the (creative) juices flowing edited by evan berkowitz 6 a sex playlist to set the 3-minutes-or-less mood by patrick basler and cameron neimand 7 how campaign rhetoric is triggering to sexual assault survivors by ashley o’connor 8 for sex-toy-making student, masturbation is more than playing around by raye weigel 9 how the films we watch portray characters’ ‘first times’ by michael errigo 10 how the sex ed you received affects your college experiences by lillian andemicael 10 take a look at the health center’s birth control offerings by alyson kay 11 meet the asexual student playing rocky horror ’s dr. frank-n-furter by taylor stokes

photo by tom hausman/the diamondback

thursday, november 3, 2016

2 | SEx in college park

from the editor

So, you’ve made it past the cover!

The Diamondback, in collaboration with Sex Week at UMD, is proud to present you with “Sex in College Park,” our annual guide to getting down at the University of Maryland. Throughout this tab, we explore both the weird and the wonderful aspects of [insert sex euphemism here]. Need a

playlist of sultry songs to set the mood? Check out page 9.

Having trouble deciding which birth control is right for you?

Page 10 has all the information you need. Think you’re the only one whose last Tinder tryst went terribly awry? Your people are waiting for you on page 4. Whether you picked

this up on purpose or you find yourself blushing and holding it by complete accident, hopefully, you find something fun and useful inside — or at least try your hand at the sexy crossword on page 5. Just don’t do it in class (trust us).

Enjoy!

—DANIELLE OHL Editor in Chief, The Diamondback

sex week

A new approach for U’s Sex Week by

S e x We e k events scattered all throughout

SENIOR PORTRAITS The Terrapin Yearbook, in association with Life Touch Studios, will be taking graduation portraits beginning the week of September 19. All photos will be included in the 2017 TERRAPIN YEARBOOK and anyone having their portrait taken will receive a $25 discount off the price of the yearbook if you would like to buy one .

The is absolutely NO cost or obligation. Several poses will There be taken, both with and if you prefer, without cap and gown.

After the proofs are sent, you will have an opportunity to purchase portraits at a reasonable charge.

You may make an appointment by calling 1-800-687-9327, 8AM–5PM, or schedule your appointment on the net! Visit our site at www.ouryear.com using Maryland’s school code: 87101.

who have died from the disease.

Kitchelt said she “hopes to Elle Einwaechter aims to create the semester to try and make a d i a l o g u e that more available to people. make it a big, campus-wide @thedbk with the Uni- This year we are going to try event.”

For The DBK versity of Maryland community about sex positivity and sexual awareness, said the group’s co-chair Ashley Kitchelt.

This year, the club is spreading its events out through the year in addition to having one designated Sex Week in an attempt to promote “communication, exploration and education.”

“It will be a blend of the two previous years,” Kitchelt said.

“The first year that they had Sex Week … they had a whole bunch of events for that one week. Last year, they didn’t have that week, but they had

to do both and have semester events and week-long event.”

In April, students can expect to see models strut down the runway in outfits made of condoms during the third annual Sex Week fashion show.

There will be a different event each night of the week, including a sex therapist Q&A, sex toy workshop and peer educator workshop.

Prior to that, the club will be co-sponsoring an event in December for World AIDS Day. They’re teaming up with the LGBT Equity Center and University Health Center to read the names of people across the nation

This month, Sex Week plans to invite different student groups — such as a cappella groups and theater groups — to perform about sex-related topics such as consent and sexuality.

Although many of these e ve n t d a te s a r e to - b e determined, Kitchelt said Sex Week posts event information to its Facebook page, Sex We e k a t U M D. S t u d e n ts are also welcome to email umdsexweek@gmail.com with inquiries about the next general body meeting. newsumdbk@gmail.com

11AM–7PM Nov 14th–18th PLACE: 3101 South Campus Dining Hall TERRAPIN YEARBOOK Office 1-800-687-9327 or ouryear.com • School code: 87101

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2016

SEx in college park | 3

thursday, november 3, 2016

4 | SEx in college park

dating apps

relationships

Love and long-distance relationships in college by

There are

hosting has something planned

But Kuehner says staving off

AnnaMuckerman many reasons so it’s usually a grand old the impulses is not unrewarded, @annamuckerman why Emily weekend,” the civil engineering and the separation makes the Abraham and major said. “Each night we try time together more special.

Staff writer cristian ortiz de zarate/via vimeo

Tinder horror stories Tinder usage has grown significantly since its inception in September 2012, and generally speaking, the dating app has a looming presence on college campuses nationwide. Some people use Tinder for dating purposes, others for a good laugh. Not all Tinder experiences are created equal, though, so I surveyed College Park to learn about some Tinder horror stories endured by University of Maryland students.

Two years ago, Cole Dougherty was a freshman at this university when he matched with a 17-year-old girl named Alex. The two got ice cream together, and Alex told the psychology major she was actually turning 17 within the week. When the two got back to Dougherty’s dorm, he told her that he was uncomfortable with her being just 16 years old and would prefer if they saw each other after her birthday.

“So I walk her back to her car and she drives home,” said Dougherty, now a junior. “A few days later, she wants me to come over and spend the night at her house for her birthday.”

The then-freshman drove to the Metro and took Yellow Line into Virginia. Dougherty’s phone nearly died on the “really long ride,” but he remained persistent.

“She came and picked me up from the Metro station in this by

Conner Hoyt @thedbk For The DBK

soccer mom van,” Dougherty said. Meanwhile, Alex’s friends and family were still celebrating her birthday at her house.

He remembers her telling him to sneak into the house through the back and hide in her basement.

“I’m just sitting in a dark closet in a home gym with no Wi-Fi in complete darkness, while her family is up there singing happy birthday to her,” Dougherty said.

“When she came down, I said to her, ‘Yeah, this is not going to happen.’”

Dougherty took an extended break from Tinder after that. And though he now uses the app again, he does so “more casually” than before.

Sophomore Annie Hasselbalch said she was welcomed to the University of Maryland by a not-so-flattering Tinder admirer. During the August of her freshman year, the biology major noticed she matched with someone in her dorm and decided to invite him over.

“He was sitting down playing with this large blow-up shark named Jerry in our room,” she said. “He broke this glass water bottle, while playing with the shark and then asked me out in front of all of my friends.”

Her friends played along with Hasselbalch’s Tinder match, saying that they’d need to be free as well if he wished to take their friend on a date.

“I think he hated us by the

end,” said Hasselbalch. “He just wanted to go on a date with me.”

Despite her admirer pleading with her for roughly 10 minutes, Hasselbalch declined the date.

Then there are the Tinder conversations that don’t manifest themselves into dates.

Stephanie Turner, a sophomore as well, has also fallen victim to the awkward Tinder conversation.

“Are you biscuits?” a yser named “Bob” asked the pre-nursing student, “cause I want to bang you on my kitchen counter.”

Sophomore Mac Rogers downloaded Tinder in the fall of his freshman year, only to see two of his friends take his phone and swipe right on every person they saw.

“So I matched with a ton of people,” said Rogers, an economics major.“One of them decided to start messaging me.”

“She seemed nice enough … but it was definitely not what I was looking for. I have not used it since then.”

Moral of that story: If you’re going to download Tinder, don’t let your friends get their hands on your account. newsumdbk@gmail.com

her boyfriend, Luke, should be dating.

“We have the same sense of humor, we have a lot of fun together,” the junior psychology major said. “We tell each other everything. He’s one of my best friends.”

But it’s not as perfect as it seems. Luke is a student at Penn State, and the hours between the couple mean many phone calls, Snapchats and long car rides to keep the love alive. And when Abraham’s having a rough day, the digital version of her boyfriend has to suffice.

“Sometimes when you’re stressed out, you don’t want to talk,” the junior psychology major said. “You just want a person to hug.”

There’s no denying that long distance relationships are hard, especially for students bombarded with the idea that hookups, meaningless flings and casual flirtation are all part of the collegiate experience.

Yet, even for young people, the appeal of a steady somebody has hardly been lost, and those in long distance relationships prove the right person is worth the work.

“It would be like we were missing out on something if we weren’t together,” Abraham said.

Most of Cameron Spruill’s friends are in relationships, and the junior’s girlfriend goes to school three hours away at James Madison University. The couple tries to visit each other every three weeks.

“Usually the one who’s

to do something fun or go on a little adventure.”

Spruill says while he and Kate are apart, they have time to focus on schoolwork and keep their priorities straight.

They have also built individual friend groups so they don’t always depend on each other for entertainment.

“It allows us both to be productive while making sure we’re in a good relationship,” he said.

Technology also allows long distance relationships to thrive.

A bad grade, good hair day or exceptional lunch can all be shared via Snapchat, Skype or a simple text. But there are certain aspects of a relationship that screens and social media just can’t relay.

“There’s times when I’m like ‘I wish we could have sex right now,’ ” Abraham said. “Sometimes it can make it better in a way because you can have something to look forward to.”

Abraham said she and her boyfriend tried sexting and Snapchat to keep the physical intimacy going, but found it didn’t quite work.

“That’s just not really for us, so we’ll talk about if we want to have sex, but we won’t talk as if we’re in the situation,” she said.

Couples like junior Brennen Kuehner and his girlfriend, Kristen, have learned the art of the wait, even if the prospect isn’t so attractive.

“We definitely would rather be able to have sex whenever we wanted,” the agricultural science and technology major said.

“It’s more passionate, more romantic when we do get to see each other and have sex,” he said.

And it’s not just the physical – many aspects of long distance relationships thrive in the balance between challenges and rewards. Students who found their partner in high school say they haven’t known it any other way. Others, like junior Karen Liu, view the distance as a temporary inconvenience.

Liu’s boyfriend graduated from UMD last winter and moved to California to open a business.

“Some days are a lot more difficult than others,” the civil engineering major said. “Everyone in my apartment right now is in a relationship so it’s kind of tough to see and I’m like, ‘Ok I’m kind of seventh wheeling.”

Liu says her Snapchat streak helps the couple see how long they’ve been apart and reminds them to touch base every day.

Yet the optimism often gives way to the reality of two people living in separate worlds.

Keuhner says the longer his relationship has gone on, the more difficult it’s become, to the point of being “a chore.” But that doesn’t mean he’ll quit.

Despite the occasional lonely nights and extended phone calls, long distance relationships bring joy and stability to couples caught up in the college whirlwind.

“It’s worth it if you really love the person,” Keuhner said. “It’s worth it for me.” amuckermandbk@gmail.com

thursday, november 3, 2016

SEx in college park | 5

sex crossword

THE DIAMONDBACK

Words with friends … with benefits

The University of Maryland’s Independent Student Newspaper

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Crossword edited by Evan Berkowitz

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ACROSS

25. Force out (of school), or what men do when they 2o-across 1. Cause of many a 26. You’ll need this to charge quickly-shut laptop 3. Do-it-yourself appliance? yo u r 3 - a c ro s s o n s t u d y 7. Position where she’s on top abroad 28. Sans 16-across 9. Fake phallus for fun 11. Premarital sex havers live 29. Undecided voter Ken ___ in this, the Bible says 12. Biblical Mary, for one 1 4 . S k i p p e d - t h r o u g h DOWN YouTube nuisance 16. Lubed-up latex that’s less 1. Snapchat type: dick ___ expensive than a child 2. “Mr. Bean” star Atkinson 1 7. W h a t y o u r p a r e n t s 4. The one on the top popped in the record player 5. Get a ____, you two! when they made you 6. Sex drive 19. Viagra helps you get it __ 8. Deep affection 20. Climax 10. Wear this during sex for 23. Do it at yoga class on one a Hawaiian feel! of these!

11. Orally pleasure a man

13. Handjob technique 14. Man’s best friend namesake of popular sex position (2 words) 1 5 . Wo m a n ’s key to 2 0 across, briefly 17. Fleshy outer female sex organs 18. Village People hit 21. More ready for plucking 22. Make up dirty talk as you go along 23. It rocks slowly in the dark, but definitely not in a good way 24. Thyme, for one, weed for another 27. Oft-banned book “The Catcher in the ___”

Answers on Page 6

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2016

6 | SEx in college park

sex playlist

short and sweet

Ten hot, heavy and short songs to get you in (and out) of the mood in three minutes or less

By Patrick Basler and Cameron Neimand | @DBKdiversions | Staff writers

Sex is hot.

NxWorries — Lyk Dis Anderson .Paak is married and has a kid, so we assume he knows Sex is, uh, not always as long as a thing or two about sex. But even you’d hope. if not, “Lyk Dis” is a retro slice of But don’t worry, we get it. Not smooth rap that throws it back personally, but we understand the to the days when rap was sexy.

Miguel — Pussy is Mine concept. And there’s not much I saw Miguel in concert once. And just like sex, it’s over before you can do — except put on a He did not play this song. I you know it. playlist that makes you seem like screamed “Pussy is Mine!” at the you can “last for 223,000 hours.” top of my lungs. People stared. Kali Uchis — Sycamore Tree Your usual sex music — ’90s “Sweeter than a sycamore tree” Miguel still did not play the song.

R&B, mostly — goes on foooorBut regardless, “Pussy is Mine” is a lyric in this song and also an ever (like four or five minutes, Frank Ocean — Sierra Leone It wouldn’t be a sex playlist is an excellent, stripped down, apt description of how you’d usually), setting unrealistic expectations that you can have both withoutAmerica’sboyfriend Frank intimate guide to sex and rela- feel if you played this tune while “sex in the morning, sex all day” Ocean. “Sierra Leone,” perhaps tionships, featuring just Miguel, doing the ol’ nasty. I wish it said his guitar and two minutes and something like “sweeter than a Sour Patch watermelon gummy” 53 seconds of sexiness. because I have never bitten into the bark of a sycamore and really Jeremih — Pass Dat Chicago R&B artist Jeremih don’t know if it is or isn’t difficult has always been influenced by to be sweeter than said tree.

R. Kelly, and “Pass Dat” is no exception. Like a lot of R. Kelly’s Ty Dolla $ign — Stealing The titular stealing in this work, it’s the perfect soundtrack for the party, the Uber ride back Ty Dolla $ign acoustic guitar and whatever happens (quickly) jam refers, naturally, to “stealDr. Stuart D. Schatz, Optometrist, P.A. ing all these bitches hearts.” So after that.

7305 Baltimore Ave • College Park, MD

Sex is fun.

and “sex in the evening, sex all night,” as R Kelly puts it. But this playlist — which features no songs longer than three minutes — sets much more realistic stamina goals for the listener.

So, without further ado, here are 10 bangin’ (couldn’t resist) sex tracks that all last for no longer than three minutes. Sound familiar?

because of its brevity, is one of the most underrated tracks onChannel Orange.It’s simple,sexy and sweet, the perfect start to any late night in bed.

CONTACT LENS ASSOCIATES

if you’re worried about your significant other’s faithfulness, maybe skip over this one. Otherwise, “Stealing” is a great choice to set the mood, no matter how long it lasts.

Tyler, The Creator — Find Your Wings Back in 2010, when Tyler, The Creator burst onto the scene as rap’s new anti-establishment preacher, nobody would have ever Drake — Madonna thought the Odd Future frontAs far as Drake’s sex songs man’s music would serve as the go, “Madonna” is an outlier. It’s soundtrack to their future fornishort, minimal and as dark as it cation. Fast forward to 2016 and is hot, but the moodiness of the you can “Find Your Wings” and track is what makes it so unique ascend to the emotional heavens (and sexy). Recommended for sex while being seduced by America’s in The 6, but acceptable for just favorite gap-toothed foul mouth. plain old sex in the bedroom too.

D.R.A.M.— Caretaker (ft.SZA) Gallant — Miyazaki “Let me take care of you” sings The Maryland-raised R&B D.R.A.M. in this song and also singer might be a newcomer to your partner when they have to the music biz, but his soulful leave to get you a glass of water style is timeless — as shown because you’ve made it through on the grooving, ethereal this entire ridiculous playlist and sex track “Miyazaki.” “If you we’ve tirelessly worked you to a want/ I can make your body point of mental, physical and tremble,” he sings in a convincing falsetto. pbaslerdbk@gmail.com

crossword answer

Words with friends...with benefits

NIAAA invites volunteers, 21 - 60 years of age, who drink more than 15 - 20 alcoholic beverages per week, to participate in a study researching if a medication reduces drinking.

Research participation includes 4 outpatient visits which consist of alcohol selfadministration, brain scans (MRI), blood draws, and filling out questionnaires.

Compensation may be provided.

301-277-6100

For more information, call 301-827-0905 or visit clinicaltrials.gov.

Refer to 16-AA-0037.

thursday, november 3, 2016

SEx in college park | 7

sexual assault & the election

hillary clinton, the Democratic nominee for president, speaks at a March event in Phoenix, Arizona.

gage skidmore/flickr

DONALD TRUMP, the Republican nominee for president, speaks at a July event in Laconia, New Hampshire.

pulling the trigger

michael vadon/flickr

For survivors of sexual assault, campaign rhetoric can be much more disturbing than just vulgar words.

I

t was hard for senior behavioral and community heath major Alanna DeLeon to watch the presidential debates.

During the second matchup between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, CNN’s Anderson Cooper pressed the Republican nominee about a leaked tape from 2005.

In it, Trump brags about kissing women without their consent and grabbing “them by the pussy.”

“That is sexual assault,” Co o p e r sa i d ea rl i e r t h i s month. “You bragged that you have sexually assaulted women. Do you understand that?”

That kind of discussion on

By Ashley O’Connor | @thedbk | For The Diamondback a nationally televised political debate could be triggering for survivors of sexual assault, said DeLeon, president of the University of Maryland’s Preventing Sexual Assault group.

Triggers, she said, can be “anything — a smell, something you see — that reminds survivors of their experience and has a negative impact on them.”

“It forces them to relive that experience,” DeLeon said.

Some sexual assault survivors on the campus said they are frustrated with the rhetoric that’s become an integral part of the 2016 presidential election.

“The hardest part is that it’s inescapable,” said senior

Hannah Stein, a survivor of ton Post broke the news of the sexual assault. “Even when tape in which Trump is heard discussing I try to women in stay off of lewd terms Twitter, I’ll with Access go to class Hollywood’s and we’ll Billy Bush. listen to the The alletape and gations have talk about it since domithere,” the nated headcriminology lines and and criminal newscasts. justice and Trump psychology said the major said. recorded More than conversa1 0 wo m e n senior criminology and criminal tion was h ave co m e justice and psychology major just “locker forward accusing Trump of sexual mis- room talk.”

He has also denied the mulconduct since The Washing-

It’s horrifying for ... a sexual assault survivor, when two men of power are talking about women in that way. hannah stein

tiple women’s allegations of sexual assault.

“It’s horrifying for any person, especially a woman, and especially a sexual assault s u rv ivo r, wh e n two m e n of power are talking about women in that way and just laugh it off,” Stein said. “It’s horrifying.”

The tapes sparked online c a m p a i g n s e n c o u ra g i n g women to share their stories of sexual assault.

Thousands of people tweeted in response to Canadian author Kelly Oxford, who wrote: “Women: tweet me your first assaults. they aren’t just stats. I’ll go first: Old man on city bus grabs my ‘pussy’ and smiles at me, I’m

12.”

After hearing Trump’s comments, Stein said it’s hard to grasp how some women in her family are still voting for Trump.

And though it’s hard to hear, PSA Events Coordinator Rachel Novick said the media attention surrounding Trump’s scandal could bring more awareness to the issue of sexual assault.

“I think it’s more in favor of making people want to do something about it,” said Novick, a senior physiology and neurobiology major. “It’s bringing about motivation to talk and help these people.” newsumdbk@gmail.com

thursday, november 3, 2016

8 | SEx in college park

sex toys

more than playing around Student who makes their own sex toys says masturbation, experimentation key to self knowledge

T

he first thought that comes to mind when one hears “3D printers” is probably not sex toys. However, that is just what Avid Antonelli, a senior studio art major, uses them for.

Antonelli said masturbation and experimentation are the keys to being in touch with one’s own body.

“I think that’s the core of what’s important for everybody. If you don’t feel safe being curious, especially with your own body, how do you take that body out into the world?” they said.

Now they’re taking this philosophy and starting their own sex toy company: Feminasty.

Antonelli is currently making butt plugs and developing a plan to expand the production and eventually bring them into stores.

The plugs they have created so far are made of body-safe silicone. They are small, colorful and take the shape of various animal tails.

To make a plug, they create the mold with a 3D printer, then pour the silicone into it.

After waiting about five hours for it to harden, they break open the mold and a butt plug is born.

Antonelli has had a love of sex toys from as early as 15 years old. When they were too young to buy one, their friend’s older boyfriend would buy them. Antonelli’s grandmother did not approve.

“I remember at some point

By Raye Weigel | @RayeWeigel3 | Staff writer my grandmother had figured out why the door would be closed for an hour and a half with some strange humming noise coming from behind it,” they said.

When they told their grandmother they did it because it felt good, “she made this face like I had said I liked jumping off bridges or something like that,” Antonelli said.

Antonelli values informed sex and consent because of a family history of sexual assault.

Antonelli said they have given some thought to what conditions have allowed sexual abuse to happen. Part of this revolves around little education about consent and conversation about sexuality in general. Their products represent a nuanced way of thinking about sex that’s open and experimental.

A n to n e l l i e m p h a s i z e d the importance of having a playful attitude around sex: “Let’s not be human, let’s be cats,” they said.

Their products are different from what is in the butt plug market today because they focus largely on the woman being able to interact with them while she’s wearing it, compared with butt plugs that have jewels on the end, or other decorations.

The problem with these other toys, Antonelli said, is they’re “not really interactive. Other people can be like, ‘Ooh, your butt is shiny now! … But that’s still not something I think the person with

the item in their butt is really interacting with.” In other words, products such as these focus more on the pleasure of the viewer than the person who is wearing it.

Antonelli hopes the long tails on her products will engage the wearer and bring a source of power: “If you have like a long tail coming out of your butt, and you can stand there and look like a character from Avatar while you like hold it in your hand and swing it around, you can build up your sexual confidence because now you have a persona you can play.”

Women, Antonelli said, are often disconnected from their sexuality. Because of this, they make products with the hopes of having a positive psychological reaction for women, enabling them to be someone different.

The wearer can take on different roles: “Are you flirty?

Are you going to be super shy and hold the tail in front of your face the whole time?”

They said they hope users will be able to wear the plug under clothing, which is part of the reason for the long tail.

The prototypes they have made so far don’t have tails as long as they want them to be, but once they do they say the tail will be able to stick out of the pants so the wearer can use them with clothing on as well.

Beyond sex toys, Antonelli has created multimedia projects revolving around orgasms and sexual exploration. Through their cre-

AVID ANTONELLI showcases the butt plug they created. Antonelli, a senior studio art major, is starting their own sex toy company, Feminasty, and thinks masturbation and experimentation are key components of sexual self exploration. photos courtesy of avid antonelli ations, Antonelli said they hope to get across that: “Sex is important,consent is complicated and requires verbal communication, and imagi-

nation is everything.” art and sex toys are an exSexual exploration “was tension of this sex-positive powerful because it was my mentality. body, I could do what I wanted with it,” Antonelli said. Their rweigeldbk@gmail.com

thursday, november 3, 2016

SEx in college park | 9

virginity on film

all photos via wikimedia commons/courtesy of respective production companies

looks like the first time Movies depicting characters’ loss of virginity place unrealistic expectations on the deed

By Michael Errigo | @M_Errigo | Senior staff writer

T

he scene opens with her looking r i g h t i n to t h e camera, giggling

like a kid.

Cut to him staring straight back at her, also giggling. He rubs his eye. He’s a kid, too.

“I like you so much,” she says.

“I like you,” he responds.

“Should we … take our shirts off ?” she suggests with a certain sweetness.

He removes his and then it’s her turn.

“Don’t laugh at me,” she says. And when it’s off and he smiles she feigns upset.

“Stop, no, you promised!

Don’t say anything.”

“A re yo u k i d d i n g m e ?

No, that’s … awesome,” he replies.

She crosses her arms in shy self-defense. Slowly, he reaches out and uncrosses them. They kiss.

“No, that’s awesome” is a

very teenage way to react to a girl that has just stripped down to her bra, but The Spectacular Now is a film that’s built on the realism of its script. In the scene above, Sutter (Miles Teller) has reached the point in his re l a t i o n s h i p w i t h A i m e e (Shailene Woodley) when it’s time for the two teens to go all the way. But this is her first time. So they go slow. Nervous, uncertain and youthful, she follows him to one of life’s most famous checkpoints.

The loss of virginity has long been an event heavily covered in the arts, especially film. Whether literally or metaphorically, it shows up in some of the best movies about youth, and especially young love, ever created.

Sofia Coppola’s The Virgin Suicides. The Last Picture Show. Blue is the Warmest Color. The Notebook. These

movies are all about different things but they use firsttime sex to develop their characters and also attempt to capture one of humanity’s most delicate experiences.

B u t t h e ve ry n a t u re o f having sex for the first time makes scenes that try to depict it some of the most mismanaged in the history of the industry. While many people have included it, few (such as The Spectacular Now) have really been able to do it in a way that’s not terrible.

There are two ways movies often get this scene wrong.

Mostly in comedies, you have the clueless male trope (“I put what in the what?!?”).

Dorky, horny and desperate, he is a cartoonish version of what the world believes many boys are like when first getting down to business. Think American Pie, Superbad or The 40-Year-

Old Virgin. There is often a joke or jokes made in scenes about trouble (or too much ease) getting it up or how long the sex lasts. He often apologizes afterward, especially if things go drastically (hilariously!) wrong.

This portrayal often falls flat because the event itself is too personal. Yes, sex is probably something that society takes too seriously, but most people view their first time as something special. To paint it in such a farcical light does nothing for an audience that has probably already lived through a first time that was pretty awkward. This type of scene also loses points in its ridiculous depiction of the male first-timer. Not every teenage guy is some clumsy meathead on the hunt for someone to take his V-card.

The personal nature of losing your virginity is what stands

in the way of movies really being able to use it as a laugh catalyst.

On the other end of the spectrum, some movies go for a cinematic, stylized look that isn’t realistic. Young people, or virgins of any age, do not have passionate, choreographed, near-perfect sex.

T h a t’s j u s t n o t h ow i t works. But some filmmakers, to appeal to an audience’s hunger for nudity or sexual content, ratchet up the hotness in a scene of first contact.

Think of Ryan Phillippe a n d R e e s e W i t h e rs p o o n getting it on in Cruel Intentions. Was your first time a beautifully lit, sensual blend of bodies like theirs was?

While this type of scene gets at the intimacy and personal nature of losing your virginity that the comedy example doesn’t go near, it ultimately fails in its lack of

imperfections. The experience is too real to not depict it realistically.

Losing your virginity is such an elusive, complex occurrence that even a medium as deep and nuanced as film can’t exactly peg it — the lead-up, the tension, the anxiety, the dynamic of the relationship, the act itself.

And that’s not even mentioning how some viewers sink into their seats with awk wa rd n e ss a t a ny sex scene, let alone one that involves a virgin or two.

Not many movies get things as close to right as The Spectacular Now, so it’s uncharted waters.

Just like a virgin, the artist must try to figure things out as they go, and more often than nor, the results — while special to them — are ultimately disappointing merrigodbk@gmail.com

thursday, november 3, 2016

10 | SEx in college park

sexual health

Students discuss their sex ed experiences by

Sexual edu- looks like.

west … it could be that re-

Maryland requires both con- ligion inhibited my sexual Lillian Andemicael cation — or sex @LAndemicael ed — is a topic traceptive and sexual educa- awareness, or it’s enriched of discussion tion in school, and while this it because I am waiting for Staff writer that excites, frightens and angers people around the world. We live in a society where knowledge is equated to power, yet it seems that lessons on human sexuality are inconsistent with this expression.

The importance of sexual education often gets overshadowed by taboos, as the quality of a region’s sexual education correlates with the sexual norms of the culture it has. But even in America, a Western country with diversity in its religious and ethnic groups, problems exist in creating compulsory, consistent and comprehensive sex-ed curricula.

Senior computer science and math major Nathan Feldman said he wishes the sexual education he received focused less on scare tactics and the logistics of sex, and more on healthy sexual relationships.

“I wish human sexuality could have been talked about [in high school] in an open light, without any form of stigma,” Feldman said. “Kids rely on porn to understand sex nowadays and there are types out there where there’s no way the women involved could feel safe.”

Only 24 states and Washington, D.C., require public schools teach sex education.

Worse than this is the fact that only 20 states require that, if provided, sex and/or HIV education must be “medically, factually or technically accurate.”

Without a required adherence to the facts, young people are left with a range of ideas of what human sexuality is and what proper sexual conduct

may seem suitable at first, the depth of the curriculum varies by school and district, leaving many students with unanswered questions.

Freshman plant science major and Baltimore resident Aviva Lucas received different types of sex ed at her public high school and Jewish day school, yet she felt that both omitted important lessons.

“My sex ed was pretty comprehensive in what not to do,” Lucas said. “But neither [schools] talked about the warning signs of an abusive relationship or when you should feel safe to be intimate with others.”

Perhaps due to the atomistic nature of sexual education in schools, some young people turn to their religious communities to guide them when trying to understand their sexuality. This contradicts the perception that religion is a bulwark between comprehensive sexual education because most Abrahamic faiths do not promote discussion of sex due to a fear of compromising one’s religious or cultural convictions.

Senior geographical sciences major Umar Ahmad is an Ahmadi Muslim. While the Quran is explicit about sexual conduct, he received little sexual advice in his mosque outside the promotion of abstinence.

“It was bittersweet,” Ahmad said. “Not having these conversations about sexual education in my mosque forced me to appreciate the guidelines that I follow and understand them from the perspective of a religious person living in the

The Health Center’s birth control options Oral contraceptives remain the most popular choice of birth control prescribed at the University of Maryland Health Center, though the center began offering more effective methods over a year ago.

The center handed out 1,440 prescriptions for the birth control pill last year, Health Center Director David McBride wrote in an email.

That’s far less than the n u m b e r o f p re scriptions the center has by

Alyson Kay @thedbk For The DBK

the right time to do it, and when I finally do it, it will be better.”

If they don’t rely on their religious community, it’s easy for young people to receive an alternative form of sexual education through means like porn or highly sexualized music videos and film.

But human sexuality encompasses much more than the mechanics of sex and a lack of open dialogue on it mystifies crucial to p i c s l i ke s ex u a l identity, health and intimacy.

Owen Brinker, a freshman enrolled in letters and sciences is a Unitarian Universalist. He said he surprises his peers when he tells them he prefers the sex education he received in a religious setting.

“It was like the health class that you get in school, but just on steroids,” Brinker said. “They characterized sex as a regular part of life. It didn’t adopt an abstinence-only approach. We were taught things like the importance of foreplay, consent and maintaining a safe environment for you and your partner.”

Providing students with holistic sexual education that discusses not just what sexuality is, but what it can mean to a person doesn’t just improve a population’s sexual health. It improves decision-making, promotes high self-esteem, breaks down stereotypes that perpetuate rape culture. Sex isn’t necessarily the taboo here — the discussion of sex is.

tom hausman/the diamondback

written for long-acting reversible contraception, McBride wrote.

This year, the health center began offering Nexplanon, an implant that goes in a woman’s arm and can prevent pregnancy for up to three years. For more than a year, they center has also been offering Intrauterine Devices, which are small devices placed in the uterus that last up to 10 years.

The failure rate is 0.2 to 0.8 percent for IUDs and 0.05 percent for Nexplanon, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, making Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptives the most effective forms of birth control available.

The pill has a failure rate of 9 percent.

LARCs are steadily becoming more popular, according to McBride, though they’ve yet to catch up to more traditional forms of birth control.

Sex Week co-chair Galya Oberman said part of the reason for that is a lack of awareness.

“People only really know about the pill, and they think that it’s the only form of birth control,” the junior psychology major said. “But there’s just so many methods, so it’s really important that people find the method that works best for them.”

The long-term methods may also seem more daunting than a once-daily pill.

“It seems like a bigger commitment than taking the pill, as they are for longer-term use and involve a procedure,” McBride wrote.

Even though the pill is the most popular form of birth control, it isn’t for everyone,

Oberman said. As with other forms of birth control, the pill has some downsides.

“If you have the pill, one of the things that’s difficult about that is that you have to take that every day and you have to remember to take it every day,” Oberman said.

“So, sometimes the issue of that is that someone will forget and then it’s not as effective.”

The health center also offers women Ortho-Evra patches, Depo Provera injections, diaphragms and vaginal rings, according to its website. The health center also provides free male condoms that can be found at the front desk lobby and the ground floor desk.

These methods have a failure rate between .03 and 9 percent.

Some groups are trying to do something about the lack of awareness about methods of birth control other than the pill.

The online birth control support group Bedsiders has a chapter on this campus.

A lot of what the group does is distributing free condoms, said co-president Louisa Caramico.

But they also inform people that condoms are just one of many available birth control methods.

Bedsiders is about “being accessible to people to have them understand their options a bit better because I think that ‘doctor talk’ can get very confusing, especially for students our age,” said Bedsider campus representative Emily Claure, a junior public health major. “A lot of the population of this campus is talking about sex for the first time in a casual setting.”

Students can also contact sexual health program coordinator Jenna Beckwith for a free individual consultation if they are unsure which method to use. newsumdbk@gmail.com

thursday, november 3, 2016

SEx in college park | 11

aces high Ah, sex.

The devil’s dance.

Doing the nasty.

The hot beef injection.

What could be better?

Whether it’s a romantic candle-lit serenade with that special someone, a hasty backseat hookup you’re bound to regre or a raunchy rom-com with a couple friends, the act of sex is something that most college students are familiar with in some way. It’s splashed across our magazines, featured heavily in shows, and inevitably brought up in an awkward conversation with Mom and Dad. With so much of our cultural attention focused on the act, it’s become a common assumption that if you haven’t had sex yet, you will, and when you do it will be the most amazing, earthshattering, crucial moment of your entire human existence.

For some, that just isn’t the case.

Meet senior animal sciences major Chey Shepardson. Shepardson spends her days simply enough, juggling dance rehearsal and science classes — not atypical for a college student. It’s at night when she becomes a whole new being. As a member of A Rather Tender Subject, t h e Un ive rs i ty o f M a ryland’s official Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast, she spends her Tuesday and Thursday nights in rehearsal as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, the cult classic’s leather-clad, sex- c ra ze d , p rovo c a t ive t ra n sve s t i te l ea d . W h i l e there are several differences between Shepardson and the character she plays, there’s one difference that perhaps

Chey Shepardson struts her stuff as Rocky Horror’s oversexed Dr. Frank-NFurter, but for the asexual student, the role’s a chance to just have fun.

stands out the most. While Frank-N-Furter may be a sex-driven maniac, Shepardson identifies as asexual.

“It’s really important to make a distinction between asexuality and abstinence,” Shepardson said. “Abstinence is a choice to not have sex, usually for personal reasons.

Asexuality on the other hand is defined as a lack of sexual attraction.”

According to a 2015 article in The Independent, as much as 1 percent of the world population identifies as asexual.

This isn’t to be confused with aromanticism, which is the lack of romantic attraction toward others. While those who identify as asexual can be aromantic, and vice versa, the two aren’t inherently linked.

“I do experience romantic attraction, and am currently in a romantic relationship,” Shepardson said. “People often do confuse the two because sometimes they have trouble recognizing romantic and sexual attraction as different entities. It’s fully possible for someone to be asexual but not aromantic, or to be aromantic and not asexual.”

Looking at her role in Rocky Horror, it could be easy to assume that playing Frank-NFurter is a way of sexual ex-

By Taylor Stokes

|

@taylormstokes

|

Staff writer

chey shepardson, a senior animal sciences major who is asexual, poses for a photograph.

She plays Dr. Frank-N-Furter in a Rocky Horror shadow cast. tom hausman/the diamondback pression. After all, Tim Curry fleshed out the character in the 1970s with his power strut and sultry pouts, while Laverne Cox’s recent rendition on Fox added more-than-suggestive dancing and physicality to the doctor. The whole show screams sexual exploration, and Frank-N-Furter is perhaps the largest proponent of that.

For Shepardson, the attraction is simply that she enjoys the character.

“He’s not exactly a morally upstanding character so I can’t say I admire him or anything, but it’s fun to have that much self-confidence,” Shepardson said. “I do understand how certain things I do can be interpreted as sexual — how I dress, the fact that I

do Rocky which is extremely sexual, etc. To me those are more expressing what I like … I don’t think I really ever try to express myself sexually since sex isn’t really something I think about.”

While the topic of asexuality isn’t new, it’s mostly unrepresented both in the media and queer conversation. It is also arguably the sexual identity most likely to be labeled as a sexual disorder, such as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Psychologist and sex researcher Lori Brotto adamantly opposed this opinion in an interview with The Daily Beast.

“Asexuality is common,” Brotto said. “It reflects one of the normal variations in

sexual attraction and, in the vast majority of individuals, it’s not due to a choice, or a wish, or celibacy, or the result of trauma, or some other kind of psychological dysfunction or disability.”

Although lacking some of the visibility given to other queer communities, there are organizations on the campus that are dedicated to promoting communication and support for those who identify as asexual or aromantic, as well as general information for anyone willing to learn. One of those is the Pride Alliance’s Ace Space.

“I go [to Ace Space] every we e k ,” S h e pa rd so n sa i d .

“Basically it’s a discussion group — we talk about topics related to asexuality and aromanticism, and it’s also just to connect with people who have similar experiences.”

Regarding differing sex-

ualities, our society is in the middle of a huge culture shift. Attitudes are changing, awareness is rising and voices are being heard. Regardless where a person falls on the spectrum, they have the right to be legitimately recognized and respected. For those who identify as homosexual or even bisexual, a certain amount of awareness exists.

But for those who identify as asexual, the struggle to be recognized is an everyday occurrence.

“It’s not really ever represented in the media or in general public discussion, so it’s not surprising that many people don’t know about it,” Shepardson said. “But that’s one of the many things that the Ace community is working towards — greater visibility.” tstokesdbk@gmail.com

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