Holiday Guide
THE DAILY ILLINI
HOLIDAY
GUIDE Monday, December 3, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
2
K R A N N E R T CE N TE R PR E SE N T S
Russian National
Ballet Theatre
Giselle
and
The Sleeping Beauty
With lithe movement, resplendent apparel, and mesmerizing tales, the more than 50 dancers of this esteemed Russian company weave evenings of evergreen enchantment. This season, Giselle’s haunting saga and Princess Aurora’s enduring story of love take center stage. Recommended for ages 7 and up
KR ANNERTCENTER.COM • 50 0 S. GOODWIN AVE., URBANA • 217.333.6280 /80 0.KCPATIX
TU JAN 22 AT 7PM (GISELLE) WE JAN 23 AT 7PM (THE SLEEPING BEAUTY) TRYON FESTIVAL THEATRE $10 UI STUDENT TICKETS
The Daily Illini
Monday, December 3, 2018
3
Shoppers explore ways to give back in holiday season BY MOLLY ZUPAN SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR
The holiday season is upon us, and we all know what that means. Malls and stores are going to be jam-packed with shoppers who are all on a mission to find the best deals and best gifts for family and friends. Aside from being avid gift-givers and holiday fanatics, these people have something in common: They can afford holiday shopping and celebration. Thousands of people in the U.S. do not have the resources or financial ability to buy gifts, winter clothes or holiday meals. If you're reading this column as a student, faculty member or alumnus, it is likely you can cover some of these costs. While you are frantically shopping for the perfect holiday gifts for your mom, brother, favorite co-worker or yourself, stop and take a second to consider ways you can give to others. Support educators Reach out to your local elementary schools and see if they need any school supplies. School budgets are tighter than they used to be, and teachers are often expected to buy supplies for their students. Buy a few packs of pencils, crayons, pencil sharpeners, erasers or glue, and give them to your favorite teacher or school, or donate some of your old childhood books and toys. Give hygiene The majority of donations given to local food banks and homeless shelters are food items, but think about all the things you use on a daily basis. Donate shampoo, toilet paper, body lotion, chapstick, feminine hygiene products, toothpaste and anything else you have stocked on your bathroom shelves. Spend your change wisely Instead of taking your year's worth of change out of your jar to buy something for yourself, donate it to a local cause, such as a homeless shelter, women's shelter or child care facility. A little can go a long way. Double the recipe If any of your neighbors are struggling to make ends meet, offer a holiday meal or dessert, especially if you frequently waste food or leave leftovers sitting in the fridge. Another option is to bring recipe items to a local food or homeless shelter. Holiday meals are notorious for being delicious and filling. Instead of overstuffing yourself with mashed potatoes and ham, share with someone else. Help a neighbor Provide a helping hand to a neighbor or local. Offer to wash their car, rake their leaves, walk their dog or fix a leaky faucet. Daily tasks
E V I G
TONI PANTONE THE DAILY ILLINI
such as these are typically more difficult to do as you get older or if you have a disability. These tasks may be time consuming, but trust me — you will be happy you did it.
Clear out your closet Instead of selling your unwanted clothing for extra cash, donate it to those in need. Winter in Illinois is consistently brutal; give Offer your skills your old sweaters, socks and coats to a clothPublic libraries and schools often offer sering donation center to keep someone warm. vices like resume review, job training or writIf you're a frequent shopper, get in the habit ing workshops. If you consider yourself a of giving a clothing item each time you buy talented writer, stop by your local library or a new one. Especially consider this if you’re school and see if any volunteers are needed. A shopping for holiday socks, as these are the bit of your time could make a big difference in items most requested by homeless shelters. the lives of people in your community. Your closet is only so big; don't overdo it.
Give blood If you have the ability to handle a needle without feeling queasy or light-headed and fit donation requirements, donate blood. Giving blood costs you nothing and usually takes no more than an hour. More importantly, it could save someone's life. Keep an eye out for blood drive posters, pop-up blood drives or head to a donation center. Molly is a junior in FAA. mollyz2@dailyillini.com
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
4
Distract yourself from finals with holiday activities BY NATALIE STANOWSKI STAFF WRITER
Make some homemade hot chocolate With winter kicking into high gear, what better way to warm up than with a cup of hot chocolate? Whether you use cocoa powder or get fancy with a crockpot and melted chocolate, there is no drink more in-tune with the holiday spirit than some hot chocolate. Decorate your dorm Before the time to study for finals is officially underway, take some time this weekend to put up decorations. If you forgot to bring some from home over break, Walgreens is selling various decorations for cheap. If you really want to save some cash but still want to get festive, check out our budget dorm decorating column.
nurse a cup of hot chocolate in a blanket all weekend, consider heading to the ice arena on campus for some winter-themed fun. Ice skating is free for University students with an i-card. Skate rental is $2.
See “The Nutcracker” If ice skating isn’t your thing, you may want to consider spending a relaxing night at the Krannert Center. While there are numerous other bands and plays to choose from, “The Nutcracker” is a fantastic pick if you want something holiday-themed.
Go sledding If you think corn fields are too flat to go sledding this holiday season, think again. Champaign-Urbana has plenty of parks perfect for sledding. Places such as Orchard Downs, Crystal Lake Park and Centennial Park are Listen to your favorite holiday tunes all great options to go if you can find (or put Whether it be Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for together) a sled. Christmas” or the classic “Dreidel”, throw on some of your favorite holiday classics to play in Pet some reindeer the background as you prepare for those pesky Just 25 minutes north of C-U by car is Harfinals. dy’s Reindeer Ranch. You can sign up to pet and feed the reindeer or take a walk through Go ice skating the lines of Christmas trees for sale. Petting It’s easy to forget to get enough exercise zoos may seem exclusive to kids, but this locanow that winter is settling in. While it’s fun to tion is popular among students on campus.
& Tans!
See a Christmas parade Want to see a Christmas parade with friends, but you’ll be home over break? No worries, there are numerous parades planned in the area, starting from the last week of November. So, if you want to see some Christmas-themed floats or fancy cars on the road, do some research on nearby parades, and you may find one that fits your busy schedule. Go stargazing indoors or outdoors The air in winter is actually the ideal time to go see stars. Is camping out in the cold not your thing? Visit the Staerkel Planetarium in Champaign and see a show for $4 with the student discount. You’ll get to see stars without the cold. It’s literally out of this world. Host a party No need to wait for winter break to roll around to break out your ugly holiday sweaters; Invite your friends over and show them off. Just throw on some holiday classics, warm up some hot cocoa and you’re set to enjoy some holiday fun before finals snow on our parade. Natalie is a sophomore in LAS. nms6@dailyillini.com
KENYON EDMOND THE DAILY ILLINI
Students ice skate at the University Ice Arena on Saturday.
See the Difference with
Bankier Apartments
Going on Now thru 12/17 Receive a Free Platinum or Sunless Session for your donation of a
New Un-wrapped Toy (min. $5 value please)
TheUltimateTan.com
@UltimateTanIL
1909 W. Springfield Ave, Champaign
Studio,1,2,3 & 4 bedrooms
Take a video tour at www.bankierapartments.com or call 217-328-3770 for a showing!
The Daily Illini
Monday, December 3, 2018
5
Let science, SMARTs guide your New Year’s resolutions New Year’s resolutions have shed their religious origins but remain fixated on turnThe cultural mythos of the New Year’s ing over a new leaf. Researchers found in resolution, filled with vows of healthier eat2013 that people hold “a widely shared ing and jokes about gym memberships, belief that we have opportunities throughout is ever-present in an American populace our lives to start fresh with a clean slate.” entranced by personal improvement. MilBy using notable points in time like birthlions promise themselves yearly change and days or holidays to begin goals, people may most fail, but before buying the latest selfbe able to “increase the subjective distance help book or giving up, aspiring resolvers between a person’s current self and past may benefit from learning why so many peo- self,” the paper noted. ple make resolutions yet only some succeed. In other words, New Year’s resolvers likeThe idea of a personal “fresh start” is ly use the beginning of the year as a way well-embedded in human history. As earto psychologically push the “old me” and ly as 4,000 years ago, Babylonians reafhabits into the past, making change appear firmed their loyalty to their kings and gods more feasible. each spring by promising to pay debts and About 44 percent of Americans adopt a return borrowed items. Other rituals, such New Year’s resolution, according to a 2017 as Roman tributes to the god Janus and the Marist poll. The most common resolutions Jewish High Holidays, show similar traits — being a better person (16 percent), losemerging from different cultures. ing weight and exercising more (10 perThe current practice may have stemmed cent each) — show many people take on from John Wesley, the founder of Methodbroad, difficult goals. With long-term failism. In 1740, he began holding new church ure rates ranging from 54 to 88 percent, services at the end of each year filled with how does one successfully complete a prayers and songs about renewing their reli- New Year’s resolution? gious commitment; the tradition has evolved A series of studies from the University of into modern attempts at personal change. Scranton tracked resolvers and their strateBY ZACK FISHMAN STAFF WRITER
gies over long periods of time to see which practices determined success. The first takeaway is to actually make a resolution. The 2002 study found people who started their goal around New Year’s were over 10 times more likely to succeed than those who wanted to start later. The research also suggests that some approaches to change are more effective than others. Two Scranton studies from 1989 — one following participants for six months and the other for two years — found people were more likely to succeed if they had a high readiness for change and implemented gradual reward systems. Successful participants were also less likely to practice self-blame or wishful thinking, yet on average, they slipped up 14 times over two years with over half slipping up at least once. This suggests that effectively completing resolutions doesn’t mean avoiding errors, but rather interpreting them as temporary setbacks and not apocalyptic failures. Resolvers found long-term success when they shared their resolutions with others, reaping social support and reinforcement in the process. Interestingly, such interperson-
al strategies only predicted success after six months, meaning individual legwork is crucial from the start. One can avoid many a pitfall by walking in the shoes of these participants’ best habits, but for more specific advice, consider the productivity buff’s favorite tool, the SMART goal. As explained in an NIH blog post, effective goals meet certain criteria, namely being specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound, per the acronym. By creating a SMART goal, a resolver is able to actively and effectively track progress and maintain motivation. For instance, this technique improves the broad and ambiguous goal of “losing weight” by specifying monthly weight targets, days and times to go to the gym and how many days per week to skip dessert. Most people looking to achieve great personal improvements in 2019 won’t succeed, and that’s OK; change is difficult. But applying these tried-and-true methods of altering behavior can significantly ease the road to a successful resolution. Zack is a junior in Engineering. zbf2@dailyillini.com
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
6
ILLINI UNION BOOKSTORE
DEC 6-20
GREAT SALES AND UNIQUE DEALS IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER! MORE INFO AT: go.illinois.edu/HoliDeals ALL PURCHASES SUPPORT ILLINI UNION STUDENT EVENTS AND ACTIVITIES
ϔ
BOOKSTORE
The Daily Illini
Monday, December 3, 2018
7
AMANDA KATZ THE DAILY ILLINI
Make holiday decor on a budget with DIY crafts BY NATALIE STANOWSKI STAFF WRITER
As college students, it isn’t always in our budget to drop a ton of money on holiday decorations. While you can bring some from home if you visited over Thanksgiving break, it’s likely some of us forgot or found we couldn’t bring enough. So instead of breaking the bank for some pricey decorations, here are some inexpensive, do-ityourself ideas to decorate for the holidays. Paper chains While you probably haven’t made one of these since elementary school, don’t think these are a kid-only activity. Paper chains are incredibly easy to make and can be made from any kind of paper you have lying around: construction paper, old homework,
printer paper, magazines — the list goes on. While any kind of paper will do as long as you can tape the two ends, consider alternating colors like white, blue, green and red to make it look more festive. If you want to take your paper chainmaking a step further, you can loop around a paper chain to make a pseudo wreath. Just glue or tape a few paper chains together in a doughnut shape and add a paper bow. It may not look as nice as the real thing, but it’s definitely a lot cheaper. Using scavenged items Old magazines and paper scraps aren’t the only free resources you have access to. If you take a walk through a wooded area or through a local park, there are plenty of items lying around you can make use of to
spruce up your dorm or apartment. For example, pine cones are a great holiday-evoking item that have a range of uses. A low-effort way to incorporate them into your decorating is to place a few of them in a glass bowl. If you’re feeling creative, you can paint them gold or silver or hang them like ornaments using some ribbon. Another item you can make from scavenging is a makeshift menorah using a thick tree branch. Aim for something that could sit on a table and is about 3 inches in diameter and 2 feet long. Then just drill or carve in enough holes to fit all the candles, and you’ve got yourself a homemade menorah. Makeshift Christmas trees Whether or not your family celebrates the holiday, Christmas trees have become
symbolic of the holiday season. As students, it’s rarely feasible to buy, transport and make room for a real tree, but there are ways to still incorporate the tradition into your decor. One way to create a makeshift tree is by piling up books in a circle and stacking them to create a cone shape. It’s a great way to reuse those expensive college textbooks. If you don’t have enough to make the size you want, a pack of green construction paper can also do the trick. Just cut up and tape the paper on an empty wall to recreate a two-dimensional Christmas tree. You can even put presents underneath. Natalie is a sophomore in LAS. nms6@dailyillini.com
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
8
SHOP LOCAL PAGES brought to you by
ChampaignCenter.com
Give an experience
FriendShop Bookstore n Champaign Public Library
Great Gift Ideas! Gift certificates 20,000 nearly new books, CDs, & movies Most books $2 Kids’ titles 50¢
Wed–Sat 11–5 Sun 1:30–5 Elevator to lower level 200 W. Green St., Champaign
EE TAKEH ATFR G H I S
20
T E I F I C A C E R T
W I T
tour one group is good for group This certificate s, Inc. Your Pedal Tour not more on SlowRide people and at least 8 recipient must have entitles the be certificate times may than 15. This Not all tour tour. p in ur to a 2-ho another grou booked by emed available if may be rede certificate This advance. This ride Season. 2019 Slow discount or through the value. No es no cash carri certificate d tour. lower price refund for Slowride for your free the your certificate and click To redeem edaltours.com you .slowridep and time go to www t what day enter button. Selec checkout, group tours tour. Upon p grou your want to book below. code the certificate
GOOD THRU www.slo
wridepe
31, 2019 om DECEMBER n f o @ s l o w r i d e p e d a l t o u r s . c
daltour
s.com
|
i
ON SALE NOW THRU DECEMBER 31, 2018
|
219-316
-1122
Makes a Great Gift or Purchase for Yourself!
®
201 W. Springfield Avenue Suite 502 Champaign, IL 61820 (217) 871-3426
Like our Facebook page for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card! Winner will be picked on December 21 Agent
The Hunt for Christmas
GIFT CERTIFICATES
slowridepedaltours.com/shop
Charlene Guldbrandsen
Pop-up Escape Room Family-Friendly 2-8 Players
% OFF
TOUR
I F T
6 1 E . U n i v e r s i t y A v e . D o w n t o w n C h a m p a i g n
Find us on Facebook by searching: "Goosehead Insurance - Charlene Guldbrandsen"
105 N. Walnut Downtown Champaign Holiday Hours Mon-Sat 10-8 Sun 12-5 champaign.tenthousandvillages.com 217-352-8200
Gift Certificates Available
Print & Digital
(217) 693-7678
BrainstormEscapes.com
The Daily Illini
Monday, December 3, 2018
9
SHOP LOCAL PAGES brought to you by
ChampaignCenter.com ILLINI UNION BOOKSTORE
HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE THURSDAY DECEMBER 6
25% OFF ENTIRE PURCHASE *
PLUS! FESTIVITIES IN-STORE 2-6PM: FREE HOT
DRINKS DECORATE YOUR OWN ORNAMENT & COOKIE TAKE A SELFIE AT OUR “SNOW”FIE STATION ( WHILE SUPPLIES LAST ) *Excludes textbooks, diploma frames, gift cards, electronics, sundries, consumables, special orders, class rings, NYT Best-Sellers and New Arrivals. Not applicable with any other discount or coupon. Other exclusions may apply. Final discount taken at check-out.
bookstore.illinois.edu
ALL PURCHASES SUPPORT ILLINI UNION STUDENT EVENTS AND ACTIVITIES
CHAMPAIGN CENTER PARTNERSHIP Primary care
Urgent Care
Square 1 Healthcare Now accepting new patients! www.square1healthcare.org (217) 318-3020 511 N Neil St. Champaign, IL
BOOKSTORE
Enter the ‘Tis the Season to Shop Local Photo Contest: Upload a picture of your favorite place to eat, shop and play in the Downtown, Midtown, or Campustown neighborhoods at ChampaignCenter.com/shop-local
24/7
Pediatrics
The of�icial University of Illinois
Each photo counts as an entry; enter once per day from November 24 - December 21
PLAY & ENTER TO WIN A $250 VISA GIFT CARD CHAMPAIGNCENTER.COM/SHOP-LOCAL
The more entries you submit, the greater the chance of winning! Winner will be chosen at random on December 21 and will recieve a $250 Visa Gift Card! Support locally-owned businesses all season long!
Crepes, Soups, Salads, Sandwiches, & More!
GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME
$ 116 N. Neil St. | 217•359•4500 811 W. Springfield Ave. | 217.954-1002
pekarabakery.com
Serving BREAKFAST and LUNCH
90
Order your yearbook online at
illioyearbook.com
or call 217-337-8314
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
10
Survive holiday season with your significant other BY SERINA TALUJA ASSISTANT SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR
Whether you’ve been together for years or days, live close together or far apart, every couple endures the ultimate test of strength of their relationship around this time of year. Winter holidays present its participants with lots of joy, love, family time and significant other’s family time. This time with your partner’s family tends to be that test of strength and can even make or break relationships. To save everyone anxiety, worry and potential tension that can arise from the promise of spending time with your partner’s family, here are some ways to keep your cool this holiday season. Small talk, big smiles Generally, keeping conversational subjects close to those of “small talk” is your best bet when you’re dealing with your partner’s family. While your partner’s parents or siblings might know a little bit more about you, it’s better to keep things on a more surface level with extended family members, especially if you're making a first impression. Good topics of conversation that fall under this realm of small talk include places you’ve
traveled to, the unruly weather or stories about your partner’s childhood. When in doubt, fall back on what you and the family members have in common: your partner. This isn’t to say your conversations have to be trivial or unintelligent by any means. You can still have really interesting conversations about your partner’s childhood with their relatives without, for example, having to get into the political state of our country or religious affiliations. Don’t forget: If something heavier does come up (like religion or politics), just smile and nod. Feigning a distant interest in the subject should move you past the controversial topic and away from any potential sources of tension. Safety in siblings Getting caught suddenly alone at a family function can be scary, especially if you’re not surrounded by your own family. Should your partner get pulled away to help move something, make something or simply to talk with a family member privately, find refuge in chatting with their siblings. Siblings are perfect because they’re probably closer to your age and they know at least a
THE DAILY ILLINI
Housing Find your next home with The Daily Illini Start and end your housing hunt today at
housing.dailyillini.com
little bit about you. It’s also easy to talk to them about school, work or anything else you might have learned about them from your partner. Plus, it makes a fantastic impression on your partner’s parents to take interest in their siblings. That means not only are you interested in your partner but in their immediate family as well. It’s nothing personal Always remember when you’re dealing with a family that is not your own, do not take anything they say to you too personally. Each family, big or small, lives in their own sort of microcosm; they have their own cultures and traditions that might be different from those of your own family. It’s important to respect these differences and not to be put off by any family members pointing out those differences. On a similar note, don’t take anecdotes about the past too personally either. Family members will share stories with you to teach you more about your partner or to include you and make you feel like a part of their family. So even if stories include an ex, or multiple exes, know they are just tales meant to teach you a little more about the person you’re with.
How are you? I’m okay. How are you?
CINDY OM THE DAILY ILLINI
Family is one of the biggest sources of celebration during the holidays. So whether you’re hanging out with your own family or someone else’s, just try to relax and enjoy their company. Serina is a senior in LAS. taluja2@dailyillini.com
Be Merry and Bright! Green & Wright Street Champaign, IL 217 · 344 · 7911
NEW ARRIVALS DAILY ApricotLaneChampaign-Urbana.com
Find us on Facebook & shop online!
Follow us on Instagram!
The Daily Illini
11
Monday, December 3, 2018
Creative ideas for your Christmas celebrations BY JESSICA XU STAFF WRITER
Starbucks is breaking out its red sweater cups and we all know what that means: The holiday season is in full swing. It’s once again a time of gathering among friends and family, celebrating time-honored traditions and creating long-lasting memories. To really make a night to remember, here are some ideas to decorate your upcoming Christmas parties.
a special sparkle to the holiday season. of single pastries, such as cupcakes or cinnaBy breaking out of the red and green routine, mon rolls. you would certainly help create a completely These DIY ideas will satisfy your sweet new, refreshing atmosphere for your party. tooth and serve as cute decorations.
DIY edible decorations Making your own edible decor for Christmas together with family and friends will not only be an additional chance to enjoy quality time, but also a chance to get creative. Don’t settle for the local grocery store’s Christmas cookies this year. Play with color themes Plus, there are hundreds of recipes for DIY Perhaps the first thing to consider if you desserts and treats online, so you don’t need want to “wow” your guests is what mood you to worry about spending lots of time learning want to set. If you’d like to establish an intior coming up with the steps on your own. mate and chill vibe, a combination of green, One of my personal favorites is a chocolate blue and silver would help. Accent the house wreath. Chocolate manufacturers typically with blue and green stockings and ribbons, launch special Christmas editions during the or decorate your Christmas tree with Tiffany holidays; you can assemble the colored candy Blue string lights and silver ornaments. Take it into wreaths of any size, which can be perfect a step further by color-coordinating the sea of for hanging on the walls or on a door. gifts beneath your tree. Or you can try a DIY dessert Christmas If you’d prefer a lively setting, try to bring tree. You can simply purchase a mini tree and out all the colors of the rainbow. While red and adorn it with mini donuts, cupcakes, candy orange brighten the house with their energetcanes or any of your favorite snacks. You can ic hues, cool blue, purple and green neutraleven make the tree entirely edible, though this ize their intense brilliance. Create mini trees requires more cooking skills. Such trees can and wreaths out of colorful, round ornaments. be made out of layered cookies and pancakes, Alternating the warm and cool colors will add as well as an arrangement of a large number
The ultimate ugly sweater party Still have the zest for Halloween lingering around? Try throwing an ugly sweater or Christmas costume party. This is the perfect opportunity to host a fashion show of Christmas, with prizes for the partygoers with the ugliest attire. There are plenty of ways to go beyond the sweater. You might simply put on an iconic and interactive top or you may want to become a real-life Christmas tree by sewing garland and pom-poms onto your green sweater, accompanied by a tree hat. Other ways to make this party memorable include exchanging tacky gifts, decorating cookies, arranging a secret Santa gift exchange, crafting yummy, seasonal beverages or creating your own ornaments. Each of these ideas are fun for all ages and are perfect for a holiday party you’ll never forget. Jessica is a freshman in DGS. yangx7@dailyillini.com
Stuff your stocking with something sweet this year M-W
9AM-10PM
TH-SA
9AM - MIDNIGHT
SUN
1PM-10PM
2208 S. NEIL STREET, CHAMPAIGN
Your local sexual health and wellness store
AMANDA KATZ THE DAILY ILLINI
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
12
‘Tis the season for us to pare down Santa’s claws BY YOAV MARGALIT STAFF WRITER
Christmas can be a beautiful time of religious fervor, where faith is renewed. Or maybe a time of community, where you come together with your neighbors and family. Or if you have the resolve, it can become something precious. Something worthwhile, something pure. I speak, of course, of an indulgent frenzy of rampant capitalism. But there is one thing standing in your way as you start your descent into sweet decadence. One obstacle that, but for its presence, you could do as you please. The red-and-white-trimmed elephant in the room is plain to see: I’m talking about Santa Claus. To a wannabe cog in the capitalist machine, Santa Claus represents the main competition in the Christmas season. He is a symbol of all you detest. Presents and familial bonding cannot coincide on the same day; it’s unnatural. And what’s this about morality? Naughty? Nice? “I don’t care about any of that stuff,” you think to yourself in a panic. “I just want to buy stuff! And make money! And buy more stuff with the money I’ve made!” Not to worry. Claus can be stopped if we’re smart about it. First, let’s look at what he’s got going for him — know thine enemy. The initial analysis doesn’t look good. Among other assets, Santa appears to have at his disposal a fully staffed sweatshop of elves, ready to manufacture anything he might need, a team of gravity-defying reindeer that answer only to him and a bag that can apparently hold all of the presents needed in a Christmas season. The sheer amount of coal he has available for stockings of the naughty suggests an over-abundance of the resource, which means he can most likely meet any energy needs he might encounter. Not only that, but St. Nick himself is formidable. We’re talking about a guy who can move fast enough to reach every Christian home on Earth in a single night. This means that even if we seriously lowball the estimations on distance (work with only the circumference of the Earth), and assume an eighthour night, Santa is traveling at a minimum of 990 miles per hour. That’s half as fast as the fastest-recorded manned aircraft speed, and that’s the bare minimum. As if it wasn’t already grim, Santa is also unbelievably strong. Yes, most of the time it’s on that sleigh, but folklore unilaterally points to Santa taking his bag with him when he disembarks. This means he can actually lift the darn thing. Let’s assume Santa carries a pres-
COLLEEN ROMANO THE DAILY ILLINI
ent for each Christian child every Christmas and that each present weighs, on average, a single pound. Let’s also assume that roughly a quarter of Christians on Earth are children (which might be a serious underestimation). Given these assumptions, his bag weighs an absolute minimum of 550 million pounds. He puts this thing on his back. Have we gotten to how Kringle completely ignores the laws of space and time as we understand them? The man is supposed to be obese, but he can still climb down chimneys across the world without any structural damage? While carrying 550 million pounds? Impossible. The only explanation is that he can simply ignore laws of physics that he finds inconvenient at a whim. Now we’re in trouble. We’re talking about a guy who’s supernaturally quick, strong and ignores any law of physics that looks at him funny. How can you stop something like that? What hope do you have? The answer is simple: subterfuge. If Santa Claus can do whatever he wants, then your only recourse is to convince him to do what
you want. There are a few time-honored strategies I recommend. Fear tactics It’s possible that normally, after climbing down the fireplace, Santa is used to a warm reception. Try mixing it up with a scary mask. If it works on tigers, maybe it’ll work on Santa.
tree, complete with decorations, and throw your actual tree under a tarp. It might throw him off the scent. After he puts the presents down, you can take the tree and presents outside and burn them, safely preserving your “Scroogeosity.”
Anti-bribery A common method to lead-off Santa Claus is to leave milk and cookies out for him. This Bribery tactic obviously does not work because he Leave an iPhone X next to the fireplace. If keeps coming back. Take your cue from Halyou can infect Santa with consumerism, may- loween trick-or-treating, and leave him a be he’ll use his powers for capitalism instead toothbrush and floss instead. There’s no way of “Christmas cheer.” Whatever that is. he’ll be back next year. Psychological warfare Place a coal-filled stocking on the mantle. Santa’s got a lot of houses to remember. Maybe he’ll think he already got this one. And nobody would impersonate being naughty, so he won’t think to check. It’s the perfect crime. Chicanery Santa Claus looks for Christmas trees to put down the presents. Try putting up a fake
Outright lying Put a menorah next to the fireplace. Hopefully, you can put this knowledge to good use to defy Santa Claus this holiday season. Whatever happens, know this: Nobody can take the choice to be an amoral capitalist away from you. Yoav is a senior in LAS. yoavm2@dailyillini.com
The Daily Illini
13
Monday, December 3, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
14
Maximize your free time this winter break BY MOLLY NGUYEN STAFF WRITER
‘Tis the season of cheerful spirits, family and friends, and a break from your busy, demanding school life. Due to the stressful weeks leading up to winter break, it’s easy to stay locked in your room during the holidays. Although total relaxation is not a terrible plan, there are more fun alternatives to enjoy your time off. Whether it be fulfilling old traditions or creating new ones, the time spent during these holidays can be turned into memories that can last a lifetime. Here are a few ideas to get you started. Catch up with old friends With how demanding college is, it is very easy to lose contact with hometown friends. That is why winter break is a great way to retie the knot. A great way to meet up could be simply grabbing a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate if you prefer). It’s the perfect way to stay warm and catch up with your old buddies. Embrace the snow With a cold winter coming up, snow is ultimately inevitable. And don’t worry, we are not too old to enjoy it. In fact, it’s a great way to get out of the house and get some fresh air. This
winter, go out with your friends or family and find some fun slopes to sled down, or create a festive snowman for your front lawn. If you want to be productive, make your parents happy by shoveling the driveway. Delicious treats The holidays are notorious for sugar-filled treats. Whether it be gingerbread houses or those festive shaped sugar cookies, this is a delicious way to spend some quality family time inside your home. Usually you can buy kits to make these treats, but if you want to make them from scratch, check out Food Network’s website. It has hundreds of ideas to get your mouth watering. Give a little In light of this cheerful time, it is also a prime opportunity to give to those in need. There are a lot of people who desperately need the bare necessities to get their family through the tough winter season. Simple ways to help is by donating old clothes, shoes or winter gear to charities. Other ways include creating gift baskets filled with some nonperishable foods and a few small toys for the kids. Helping to bring joy to others is one of the best gifts you can give.
Ice skating and skiing These two sports are generally enjoyed during this time of the year. If you aren’t the most gracious figure skater, don’t worry because most of the others on the rink are not either. For most people, it’s a way to get out of the house and share some good laughs and a few falls. If you have the time to travel to a ski lodge, make sure you bundle up, learn the basics and know the difference between the bunny slope and the black diamond slope. Prepare for the new year “New year, new me” is the common saying around this time. At the end of the year, it is not a bad idea to look back at what could have been accomplished and come up with some future goals. Whether it be exercising to work off those holiday treats or breaking old, stubborn habits such as biting your fingernails, it is a prime time to shake off the old and create a better version of yourself. If you do decide to stay in your room … Let’s be honest, some students will end up locked in their rooms. What better way to spend that alone time than binge-watching your favorites? Check out Netflix, HBO or Hulu
TONI PANTONE THE DAILY ILLINI
for some binge-worthy shows to keep you occupied or enjoy some holiday classics that will surely be streaming all winter break. Most important of all, maximize your winter break by enjoying it with your loved ones. Happy holidays, Illini! Molly is a junior in LAS. mxnguyen@dailyillini.com
CHAMPAIGN’S ALTERNATIVE
LIVE STREAM AT WPGU.COM
The Daily Illini
Monday, December 3, 2018
15
There’s more to holiday season than Christmas “Although there are similarities, there are more differences,” Karoll said. “The actual holAround the holiday season, Christmas iday is basically celebrating the reunification of tends to be the golden goose. Other reliJewish sovereignty of Israel about a thousand gious traditions tend to be overshadowed years ago and the reunification of the Jewish by this holiday. In today’s current sociopotemple in Jerusalem … This day it has come litical climate, however, it is more important on to have different meaning involving Jewish than ever to remain educated on cultures peoplehood.” and religious values of others. Also reflecting on how a large part of An easy way to become more educated Hanukkah centers around the pride Jewish this holiday season is to learn more about people feel for their faith, Karoll said, “The FBI the religions or cultures of friends or loved just released their annual report of hate crimes ones. Elan Karoll, senior in LAS, is affiliatand Jews are the single most targeted religious ed with the Jewish community on campus. minority for 10 years straight now. I think, He is heavily involved in Illini Hillel and the especially in this time, it’s important to be celIllini Public Affairs Committee, a pro-Israel ebrating our community and our pride and organization on campus. coming together to practice our traditions.” Most recently, he took a large role in One of the greatest parts of the holiday seaorganizing the vigil on the Main Quad for son is how strongly it can bring people togeththe shooting that occurred at synagogue er and help us see our similarities rather than in Pittsburgh in October. He offered me an our differences. insight relating to Hanukkah and Jewish “The thing that I like about Hanukkah is that celebrations I had previously been ignoit’s a really easy holiday to practice. There’s no rant to. fasting involved, there’s no long prayer service Though there are misconceptions about … so it translates really well to college students Hanukkah — specifically that it is similar … It’s really very inclusive and welcoming and to Christmas due to the gift-giving aspect joyous,” Karoll said. “I think Jews in Ameri— there is much more depth to the holiday ca today have sort of adopted some of those than that. Christmas traditions that have sort of become BY AVA TRAVERSO STAFF WRITER
JEANEETTE YAN THE DAILY ILLINI
The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, located at 503 E. John St. in Champaign. Ava Traverso writes that we should become more educated about different religious celebrations and traditions this holiday season.
a part of the American tradition, like when I see Christmas lights up … I feel it’s become a part of my own tradition, like we’re able to find similarities between the two holidays.” An important realization society must make is that even though there are symbols, like the menorah and the dreidel, the religious significance they hold is much more than what
is presented on the surface. The beauty in becoming more enlightened on different religious or cultural values is that it helps bring unity to our society in a time where it is desperately needed. Ava is a sophomore in ACES. avat2@dailyillini.com
See the Difference with
Bankier Apartments
GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME
$
90
BUY NOW!! Price increases after
Studio,1,2,3 & 4 bedrooms
Take a video tour at www.bankierapartments.com or call 217-328-3770 for a showing!
12/31/18 Order your yearbook on line at illioyearbook.com or call 217-337-8314
Monday, December 3, 2018
The Daily Illini
16
M R # 8 5 7 9 1 8 | C H A M PA I G N | N E W S PA P E R A D 1 0 . 2 5 X 9 . 7 5
Now leasing for Fall 2019! Spaces filling fast, secure your space today.
Apply for Today! only $20. Apply
You’ve never lived like this. · Private bedrooms and bathrooms available
· Academically oriented environment
· Fully furnished apartments and townhomes
· Individual liability leases
· Amenities for a fit and healthy lifestyle
· Roommate matching available
Learn more and apply online at AmericanCampus.com/Champaign
Fees, amenities and utilities included are subject to change. Limited time only. See office for details.