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The Daily Illini: Buzz Sex & Dating Guide

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z buz SEX & DATING GUIDE Monday, February 11, 2019


Monday, February 11, 2019

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FEB 5-MAR 13 Krannert Center and the School of Music explore today’s vital contemporary music scene in a month-long celebration of new music that honors innovative creators who challenge convention, forge pathways, and expand the creative process.

FEB 14

FEB 17

FEB 23-24

MAR 1

Electroacoustic Concert

UI Symphony Orchestra Pre-performance Talk

Dessert and Conversation: The Rape of Lucretia

Illinois Modern Ensemble

FEB 16

UI Symphony Orchestra with Rachel Barton Pine, violin

FEB 27

Illinois Modern Ensemble and UI Percussion Ensemble

Eighth Blackbird and Third Coast Percussion: Steve Reich’s Music for 18 Musicians

Illinois Wind Symphony

FEB 21-24

A Thousand Thoughts— A Live Documentary with Kronos Quartet

The Rape of Lucretia

See complete concert details at KrannertCenter.com/SonicIllinois.

KR ANNERTCENTER.COM • 50 0 S. GOODWIN AVE., URBANA • 217.333.6280 /80 0.KCPATIX

MAR 13


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Monday, February 11, 2019

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Patricia's reduces stigma, taboos around sex BY EUNICE ALPASAN STAFF WRITER

I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect going into my first sex shop visit to Patricia’s. It wasn’t long before that sentiment was completely thrown out the window once I came face-to-face with a DIY glow-in-thedark penis molding kit “Clone-a-Willy” and a 19-inch dildo. Patricia’s, located on 2208 S. Neil St. in Champaign, is an adult entertainment store selling a wide variety of lingerie, sex toys, novelty items, lubricants and sexual health products. There’s often a stigma that comes with going to sex shops. After being light-heartedly questioned by my Uber driver once he realized where he was dropping me off, I felt my face turn red as I stepped out of the car, laughing at the whole exchange. “Do you work here?” “Oh, no, I’m actually here to report for a story.” I don’t think he believed me. However, once I entered Patricia’s, I was greeted with a smile from the cashier and any tension I felt during the car ride melted away. I was fully entranced by the wide selection of the store. The store itself stands front and center and takes up its own lot in the shopping plaza. It’s hard to miss. Natural light filled the store and items were neatly hung along the walls and displayed on shelves — a sharp contrast to the infamous sex toy section of Spencer’s often pushed to the back corner of the store. Tyla Robinson, a cashier at Patricia's who grew up in the Champaign-Urbana area, said before the store opened in 2015, she knew of Spencer’s as the only place to find sex toys. She said she’s glad a place like Patricia’s exists which focuses more on sex-positivity and sexual health. The gag-gift section caught my eye immediately. I was most intrigued by the “Dick Head” ring toss game, the “Where’s Dildo?” scavenger hunt game spin of “Where’s Waldo?” and the penis-shaped pasta. This novelty section, in particular, felt like a necessary ice-breaker for the store to have, as it takes a silly spin of the taboo topic of sex and the human anatomy, acting as a reminder that sex can be fun whilst making the rest of the store easier to swallow. Robinson said part of her job is “helping making people feel comfortable” in the store. Sometimes she encounters customers who are initially embarrassed about being in the store, but after helping them learn about and touch the products, they end up happily purchasing an item. Removing the stigma of sex stores is “all about conversation,” Robinson said. After helping customers feel comfortable, she ensures to not be too personal, but not too sheltering either. She said she believes it’s

EUNICE ALPASAN THE DAILY ILLINI

An assortment of gag gifts Patricia’s offers in-store hangs on a rack. The store offers all sorts of sex-related inventory, from lingerie to sexual health products to sex toys of all kinds.

important for people to know about their bodies and talking about these personal matters can still be handled in a professional way. The store has a wide variety of dildos and vibrators, ranging in color, size and material. The center of the store features a display case for customers to feel the vibrators outside of the box and also test the lubricants. I picked up a hot pink vibrator which featured three different settings that controlled the heat, the type of vibrations and speed of the vibrations. The technology is unreal. I also had a mini-freakout session when I ultimately found myself with a vigorously shaking vibrator I couldn’t figure out how to turn off. (Don’t worry, I eventually figured it out.) Once you get past the vibrator and dildo section, the products only seem to get kinkier. There was an entire wall dedicated to anal toys, including some bunny and fox tail butt plugs. I also appreciated the sections titled, “Whips & Paddles & Crops … Oh My!” and “Irresistible Restraints” which featured fuzzy handcuffs and nipple clamps. Seeing the types of bondage products available helped put into perspective the different kinks people can have, and stores like Patricia’s help people fulfill their sexual needs and fantasies. Being open-minded is key when stepping into a sex shop. With that being said, the sex swing looked really fun. I also spotted some sex doll and vaginal masturbators, more commonly known as “Fleshlights.” The wide assortment offered showed how the store attempts to cater to

EUNICE ALPASAN THE DAILY ILLINI

A selection of dildos, vibrators and lubricants sit on display. Patricia’s, located at 2208 S. Neil St. in Champaign, offers a wide assortment of sex toys and accessories.

people and their different needs. I was impressed the store was also LGBTQfriendly. There was a selection of rainbowthemed sex toys in addition to a wide range of strap-ons and cock rings. Inclusivity is an important part to the store, Robinson said. During my visit, I also gained insight on the importance of sexual health. The store sold penis pumps, a treatment option used for those with erectile dysfunction. I also sighted some Ben Wa balls, or Kegel balls, which are vaginal exercise weights that help strengthen pelvic muscles. Robinson is planning on studying physical therapy. She said working at the store has broadened how she views sex, and she found herself doing more research on topics like

G-spots and prostates. “Knowledge is power,” she said. “It’s very versatile when it comes to your body and sex.” With sex often being viewed as a controversial and forbidden topic, it was extremely refreshing to go inside a store like Patricia’s. The store exuded sex-positivity and hospitality. It felt almost liberating to talk about sex openly, get my questions answered and explore the different options that are out there. Patricia’s helps facilitate an environment which removes the stigma of learning about our bodies and about our sexual health, and most importantly, creates an environment where sex is normal. alpasan2@readbuzz.com


Monday, February 11, 2019

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Student sexperts share saucy advice BY THE BUZZ SEXPERTS

Straight woman

Gay man

The realm of sex and dating is filled with taboos and hushed tones when in reality, we’ve all got questions. With that in mind, buzz presents the first Sexpert Advice Column, where four unqualified, yet sex-positive college students with experience across the spectrum do their best to answer reader questions. The anonymous panel of sexperts is lovingly made up of two straight women, a straight male and a gay male. Take all of this with a grain of salt. Responses have been edited for length and clarity. I just found out my crush got a girlfriend. What do I do? I want to be friends with him, but we only just met this year, and he's graduating soon.

Straight man

Straight woman

: I would accept the situation, move on and try to be friends with them. You don’t want to ruin what they have just because you have a crush. I know that sucks, but you really have to accept the situation. If it’s unbearable for you to see them being together, slowly — not in a mean way — stop contacting them. But yeah, if they break up, you might as well swoop in.

:Retweet.

: You can go about this one of two ways. One: Sleep with your crush! Be the side piece! After he graduates, cut all ties and ghost him, just watching his Snapchat/Instagram stories and never saying anything. Leave him on read, and three years later, send a mysterious hello. Or two: Don’t be the homewrecker; rather, respect the relationship, and keep yourself at a reasonable friend distance. Hang out with him every once in a while, but not too often. : But also, if you don’t feel like you can be in that person’s life without having a crush on them, maybe they shouldn’t be in your life. Don’t put yourself in those sort of situations if it’s going to hurt you. Don’t put yourself in this fantasy that you two can end up together, because there isn’t one.

People say to always use protection during sex, but what about protection when kissing if someone has oral herpes (like cold sores)? : Just don’t kiss them. It’s not worth it. : There are other ways to show affection. If you’re unsure, go to McKinley, and get it checked out. Protect yourself. (Editor’s note: Dental dams! But seriously, ask your doctor.) How do I start dating when the guys I like don't like me back? : There’s a guy who likes you. There’s at least three. : You’re looking at the wrong boys. Why are you worried about the boys who don’t like you? Don’t focus on getting a boyfriend, focus on being around people who make you happy.

BIRDS DO IT. BEES DO IT.

DO IT BETTER AFTER SHOPPING AT PATRICIA’S

2208 S. NEIL STREET • CHAMPAIGN, IL Mon - Thurs: 9 AM - 10 PM Fri - Sat: 9 AM - Midnight Sunday: 1 PM - 10 PM


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Monday, February 11, 2019

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on navigating all things sex, dating : I guess just don’t date now. I mean, How do I stay emotionally sane when I see men are generally scummy. I don’t so much PDA and happy couples everyrecommend it. where on campus? From a single depressed girl. : Oh, honey. There are plenty of guys who like you. It’s really hard to tell : Resent all couples around you. if someone likes you. Truth is, a lot Resent everyone. Become a grinch more people like you than you think. and hate everyone who is annoying There’s plenty of guys who want to date you. you and be like “I should be happy too.” You’re awesome, and you don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. But if you’d like one, I’m : Not everyone is as happy as they sure you can find one. seem. Work on yourself. Do girls prefer it (male genitalia) shaved or unshaved? : No comment.

: Tastefully trimmed. : Trimmed because unshaved looks like a feral raccoon and shaved makes you look prepubescent.

: After my breakup, I swear I went down Green Street and everyone was (super PDA-y). Remind yourself that you don’t need to be with someone. You can be happy on your own. Their PDA isn’t meant to attack you. It’s a little insensitive, but don’t view it as a direct attack.

How do you perform oral on someone with a penis if you have a less-than-ideal gag reflex? : I don’t know how to give advice for this, because I don’t have that problem. : I want to say, just go in and choke on it. The more sane answer is to just do your best with how much you can take. Use your hand, suck the balls, no teeth and tongue is great. : You need to practice. You don’t need to hit the back of your throat every single time, like take it easy. Use a combination; use your hand and your mouth. It doesn’t need to be either-or. I like your ambition, though. You can satisfy him without having to go to that extreme.

: Find a positive outlet for those negative emotions, such as poetry. It’s a good way to express those emotions in a positive and effective manner that helps you think them through.

Get your

Should I tell my crush I like him even though he has a girlfriend? I feel like I want to tell him otherwise I’d feel my emotions bottled up. But I don’t know how he’ll react, because there’s nothing he can do about it.

: You should tell him because he’ll either break up with his girlfriend for you — which probably won’t happen — or more realistically what would happen is that he’ll say “I have a girlfriend, and I don’t have feelings for you,” and that’s gonna hurt, but then you can get over it and move on to someone else. : Don’t tell him. There is nothing good that can come from telling him. For your mental sanity, you need to move on. If you tell him, you’ll end up having to cut both him and his girlfriend out of your life, and possibly mutual friends, also. It sounds really messy, and the best thing for you to do is to move on and find someone who’s available. You deserve better. buzz@readbuzz.com

SENIOR PICTURE taken for the 2019 yearbook!

illio yearbook

OFFICIAL YEARBOOK AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS SINCE 1894

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Monday, February 11, 2019

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Make your makeouts hot with these hit albums BY JILLIAN LITTLE STAFF WRITER

After a night on the town, maybe you’ll find yourself cuddling. What do you do? Let’s face it ... sometimes you don’t really have the words to say it, so you can rely on touching and kissing to put words into action. You can also put on a sensual album to let them know how you feel about them in the process. Here are some albums to backtrack those hot and dirty makeout sessions this coming Valentine’s Day. The Smiths' "The Queen Is Dead" (1986) If you’re a mainstream chick like I am, you probably had your first exposure to The Smiths by the book/movie “Perks of Being a Wallflower.” However, once you learn more about the history of the band, you realize Morrissey is a massive jerk. The man can sing, though. People love how whimsical his vocals are in “The Queen Is Dead,” which is highly regarded as the best album The Smiths ever produced. If you’re a fan of edgy '80s music by English people, this is perfect for you. My favorite track is “There’s a Light That Never Goes Out.” The best part is when Morrissey says, “and if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” It’s touching in the sense that it reminds people of Romeo and Juliet. It’s also pretty hilarious because that’s such an edgy and pretentious thing to say. Could you imagine saying that to someone in bed? Daniel Caesar's "Freudian" (2017) Though he’s relatively new to the game, Daniel Caesar has proven himself as an R&B superstar with “Freudian.” Unlike some musicians, his steady gain of attention is deserved as he has the actual talent to back it up. If it hasn’t already, I could see “Best Part” being played at weddings for years to come. In the song, Caesar’s and H.E.R.’s smooth and kinetic vocals come together in unison to deliver one of the most heartwarming duets about the flooding emotion of love. It almost makes you feel like a kid again and the way you “loved” your first crush. It also unites the young and old as it’s something we can understand at some time in our lives. Beyond the song, the chemistry between Daniel Caesar and the other various featured artists sets the sole purpose of what this album is about. Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" (1973) From Pipers at the Gates of Dawn to Endless River, Pink Floyd’s music transcends beyond its counterparts within the progressive rock movement. Though the band made over 14 albums within its career, the one that resonates with people the most is “Dark Side of the Moon,” and for good reason. First, it comments on how messed up human

CASSIDY BRANDT THE DAILY ILLINI

nature can be in the most relaxing way possible. And it seemed like people like the concepts enough for the album to be on the Billboard 200 for a consecutive 741 weeks from 1973-1988. Second, all the songs combine kinetically to form a 45-minute piece, which makes it the perfect length of time to make out with your partner. Tracks like “Great Gig in the Sky,” “Us and Them” and “Time” are perfect like that. In any situation that involves love, friendship or even drug-taking, this album has served people for more than 40 years. SZA's "Ctrl" (2017) SZA has been releasing music since the mid2010s, but the album which really placed her in the spotlight was "Ctrl." The relaxing and almost tropical beats cover up the fact that this album is really depressing. SZA puts herself in the position of the “sidechick” who is uncomfortable with herself and tries to get validation through somebody else’s partner. It’s more heartbreaking when you figure out some of the lyrics are inspired by true events. In “Supermodel," SZA sings about how one of

her ex’s participated in an orgy without telling her ... on Valentine’s Day. In retaliation, she cheated on him with one of his best friends. This actually happened. Regardless of the melancholy anecdotes, the album has some nice bops like “Love Galore” and “Go Gina.”

that notorious scene between Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold. Childish Gambino's "Awaken My Love" (2016) It will always be really cool how we distinguish Childish Gambino’s music away from Donald Glover’s acting as if it’s a sign of respect. Either way, we all welcomed Childish Gambino’s change in sound with open arms when “Awaken My Love” came out. He tried to rejuvenate the funkadelic era of the 1970s by adding his own twist to appeal to younger generations, which worked. “Redbone” became one of the most beloved and meme-iest songs of 2016. Some songs are a little too chaotic when Gambino screeches; however, that adds to the soulfulness and pain he’s trying to convey to us, whether it’s a love he can’t have, paranoia or race relations. In a way, this album can be used as a means of describing the way you love your partner without saying anything. It’s a little corny, but true. Listening to the entire thing will immerse you into an unforgettable musical experience.

The Cars' "The Cars" (1978) It may not be the best album in the world, but "The Cars" is responsible for bringing on the movement of new wave music, which included bands like Blondie and Talking Heads. Each song relies heavily on synth and electric guitar, which helped establish the progression of an electronic era. You have classics like “Let the Good Times Roll” and “My Best Friend’s Girl,” but, hands down, “Moving in Stereo” is the best. It seems like the song is built around whatever the bass and drums are doing in the beginning. As the song goes on, different instruments enter each measure. I always get excited when the guitars are added at the end. The song was also featured in the movie, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” during jel3@readbuzz.com


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Monday, February 11, 2019

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Let’s talk about sex ... ual health, baby health. Jenn Haney, Champaign's Planned ParSex is great, and so are relationships enthood community engagement coordiwith the right person (or people), but nator, for both men and women, “We offer respecting each other’s sexual health is the STD and STI testing, family planning sermost important part. But what some peovices, transgender therapy and hormone ple don’t know is that sexual health is a lot replacement therapy, which is something more than physical needs. It includes men- that a lot of people don’t know that we tal health as well. offer. We have vasectomy services, and we Regulating one’s sexual health is a part also offer sex ed.” of everybody’s life, whether they identiPlanned Parenthood will discuss insurfy as a male, female, non-binary or anyance policies and how to set up insurance where in between. However, as college if the patient is new. The clinic will help comes around, there are more chances to in whatever circumstance. Whether the meet people and become sexually active. patient is insured or uninsured, it will welAccording to the Centers for Disease Con- come anybody. trol and Prevention, nearly 20 million STIs In regard to sex education, Planned Parare contracted each year in America, with enthood provides a whole series of prohalf of those people being 15-24 years old. grams, from talking about the effects of With such high statistics, it’s very imporunprotected sex to covering sexual develtant to be mindful of your sexual health, opment from puberty all the way to an but that leads to the question, “Where can adult. With that being said, there are a lot I go to get my needs met?” The answer is of college students who are seen in the simple: Planned Parenthood. clinic because of its location within the Like any other sexual health doctor or campustown, which is a good sign that colclinic, Planned Parenthood does more lege students are taking their sexual health than the basic pelvic exams and aborseriously. tions. Additionally, the Women’s ResourcPlanned Parenthood acknowledges Vales Center and McKinley Health Center entine's Day is coming up, but people are have teams of people dedicated to sexual having sex all of the time. There is no staBY BECCA BERTRAM STAFF WRITER

tistical information of heightened sexual activity or circumstances within the clinic, but this does not excuse anything that compromises one’s sexual health because there are so many ways to stay safe during sex. “No. 1, communication,” Haney said. “No. 2, establish consent and boundaries. No. 3, agree on your birth control methods, and, whether you’re in a relationship or not, getting tested every six months if you’re sexually active is important. If you have multiple partners or are dating, every three months is recommended for testing.” Planned Parenthood also takes into account those who might be too shy or too scared to start taking care of their health or people who truly don’t know how to go about sexual health in general. “If you have questions that you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone about, the Planned Parenthood site or YouTube channel (is) a wealth of information and they can answer a ton of questions with accurate information,” Haney said. However, this isn’t the best part of the communication options that Planned Parenthood has. It has just launched a chatbot that answers sexual health questions 24/7. Planned Parenthood serves as a reliable

MARK CAPAPAS THE DAILY ILLINI

Planned Parenthood, located at 302 E. Stoughton St. in Champaign, offers a variety of sexual health services.

source for every demographic’s reproductive health with benefits that all end in getting the help you need. rlb4@readbuzz.com

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Monday, February 11, 2019

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8 a next level experience

Shower love, gifts on bae BY ISABELLA SOHN STAFF WRITER

Valentine’s Day is a day full of radically outspoken love shared among friends, family and everyone in between. An important part of Valentine’s Day we celebrate, of course, with gifts we give others as small tokens of our love. It can be hard to decide exactly what the perfect gift is, especially in situations where a relationship, friendship or otherwise, is new. Below is a handful of gift ideas, from your boyfriend to your grandma, because this Valentine’s Day everyone deserves to be reminded you love them. Disclaimer: Chocolates, flowers or a classic old-fashioned Valentine work as great gifts for anyone, no matter the relationship status! Even though these gifts are broken up into sections, they can work across the board for anyone in your life.

See LeaSing Office fOr DetaiLS

FOR A LONG-TERM FRIEND OR PARTNER For a long-term friendship or relationship, the stakes for Valentine’s Day are often much higher than those of a new relationship. Individuals are anticipating love notes or homemade dinners from their partners and friends. Sometimes it can seem overwhelming to feel like this is yet another holiday where you have to outdo the rest of the competition. My advice is we all should stop worrying so much. Any of the gifts I mentioned for a new relationship would work just as well for a long-term one, but here are some more advanced ideas if you are looking to up the stakes this year. A good idea for a gift the two of you can

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FOR A NEW FRIEND OR PARTNER When you have just entered into a new relationship, it can often be difficult to decide what’s the right gift to get them for Valentine’s Day. It is a holiday in which the gifts can span from a box of chocolates and a card to a ring. For new relationships, my recommendation is to just stick to the basic gifts. A good book, candles, a record by their favorite artist or even just ordering them a heart-shaped pizza or buying them their favorite V-Day-themed candy is a great way to show someone you’re thinking of them and love them. The best part is that none of those gifts should break the bank.

enjoy together would be to find a concert or event going on in the near future you can purchase tickets to surprise them. Gifts don’t always have to be materialistic things, and often the gifts that aren’t are much more rewarding. If you are looking for something more geared toward just one person, gifts such as a new pair of shoes, a hat, a piece of jewelry, makeup or skincare products are all good ideas of things to purchase for an individual you are looking to shower with love. Lastly, a homemade gift is always appreciated. Whether it’s a scrapbook, a decorated jar of their favorite candy or little notes to remind them of all the reasons you love them, just remember there are lots of ways to show someone a token of your love this Valentine’s Day. There’s no reason to let a tight budget stop you from doing just that.

FOR A FAMILY MEMBER YOUNG: When it comes to young family members such as younger siblings, nieces, nephews or cousins, finding gifts for children can be hard. My advice is to think back to what you received on Valentine’s Day as a kid (or would have liked to receive) and try to base your gifts off that. Nonetheless, you can’t go wrong buying kids candy, stuffed animals, books or a new movie or game they have been dying to see or play. OLD: For the older members of your family, I always try to base my gifts more around sentimental things versus materialistic. Adults (especially grandparents) go crazy for that stuff, so look into painting a mug or picture frame at a local pottery shop or put together a scrapbook full of pictures from a family vacation and you are sure to be tugging at their heartstrings. If this doesn’t sound like your type of thing, don’t fear. Some great gift ideas for the older people in your life include mugs, alcohol accessories or products, jewelry or their favorite sports teams gear. When in doubt, rely on the previous gifts mentioned in this gift guide because no matter what you get someone in your family, they will light up knowing you are thinking of them. is8@readbuzz.com


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9

Monday, February 11, 2019

Movies can provide perfect companionship BY BILL TAYLOR

Even as he understands why people fall for each other, Lanthimos is decidedly not a romantic filmmaker, and this is an expert depiction of the many ways love can warp the mind. Real life may not force you to turn into a lobster, but love can really be that irrational.

IT’S COMPLICATED: “My Own Private Idaho” (1991): For a much sadder queer love story, there’s this, from Haynes’ contemporary Gus Van Sant. Half of “My Own Private Idaho” is a bizarre modern-day Shakespeare adaptation, complete with talking magazine covers IN A RELATIONSHIP: and Gen-Xers speaking in iambic pentam“Carol” (2015): Todd Haynes’ love stoeter, but the other half is as bittersweet a ries tend to be more tragically unrequited depiction as in any film of a relationship than anything, but this is his one purely in the difficult middle ground between SINGLE: blissful love story. “Carol” has accumufriendship and romance. “The Lobster” (2016): Yorgos Lanthilated a massive online following for being Mike (River Phoenix) and Scott (Keamos has received award attention this year one of very few queer love stories with a nu Reeves) are two street kids who go on for his twisted love triangle “The Favouhappy ending, and its hard-earned optia road trip together, searching for Mike’s rite,” but that movie looks like “Love Actu- mism is an inspiring thing to see if you also mother and struggling to make sense of ally” compared with his earlier stab at the have a special someone. their own companionship. Like Haynes, romantic comedy. “The Lobster” is practiIts story of a fiery relationship between Van Sant is a master at capturing feelcally a feature-length advertisement for a department store employee (Rooney ing on film, with images of falling barns being single on your own terms, with folMara) and a soon-to-be-divorced houseand moving skies standing in for the senlowing the crowd’s advice on romance only wife (Cate Blanchett) is driven by almost sations of love, but unlike in “Carol,” the ending in misery and sci-fi body horror. imperceptible looks and gestures more words unsaid or ignored are more tragA paunchy, sad-sack Colin Farrell stars than dialogue, but each one gives off more ic than anything. Mike’s clumsy, tentative a recently dumped man forced to find a romantic vibes than a grand speech ever confession of love to Scott at a campfire is partner, since he lives in a society where could. Few films have so expertly porheartbreaking, all his words trying and failthe single are turned into animals. When trayed the feelings brought on by love with ing to capture what Scott means to him. he does find love, with Rachel Weisz, he Haynes’ camera capturing a world made encounters a whole host of other troubles. beautiful by the love contained with it. wt2@readbuzz.com STAFF WRITER

“Romantic” films are often seen as a one-size-fits-all category, but they come in as many different forms as relationships do and may be best watched in certain relationship statuses. Ranging from the cynical to the open-hearted, here are some potential films to watch this Valentine’s Day, matched to their appropriate status.

PHOTO COURTESY OF INTERNET MOVIE DATA BASE

Movie poster for the 2015 film “The Lobster.”


Monday, February 11, 2019

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The Daily Illini

Local musicians open up about love BY ELANI KAUFMAN AND KATIE POWERS BUZZ EDITOR AND ASSISTANT BUZZ EDITOR

What is love? No, not that Haddaway song from the ’90s. Love as a concept is unique to each and every person who experiences it, whether it be toward family, a partner or a fluffy friend. But in any case, you’ll find love songs everywhere, even if they aren’t that obvious. In honor of Hallmark Holiday Valentine’s Day, we here at buzz asked a host of local musicians to give us their definitions of love and how that affects their songwriting. “When I began writing our debut EP two years ago, my negative reaction to failed love drove the creative process. For The Telephone Junkies' upcoming project, love is impactful no longer as angst, but instead as self-acceptance and learning to find love from yourself instead of solely seeking it from others. Also, my love for my minivan that has transported us to all of our shows has definitely produced at least one song.” - Jacob Armbrecht, The Telephone Junkies

“I’ll be honest here and say that being 19, I probably don’t know what it is, but I have an idea, which is displayed in Not For The Faint Of Heart’s song, “Two Worlds,” which has a lot to do with long distance. I’ll get it someday.” - Dan Wachtel, Not for the Faint of Heart “My personal definition of love is the feeling that you can trust and confide in someone when you or they need it. I do talk about love in my music, but usually, I talk about the heartbreak associated with it and how that affects people and the process of that heartbreak. I think it definitely impacts what I create because I tend to focus on the aftermath of loving situations, but I hope to be a little more positive and personal with the things I write about in that respect in the future since I write a lot about other people.” - Zoe Willott of zzo

“In my opinion, love is the support and nurture that someone gives to others. Love is the ability to help another person grow while recognizing how much you can give. It’s like recognizing what is best for others, even if it may not align with what you want. I think it’s recognizing what they need, and learning how you can help them grow to become the best version of themselves. I definitely broach love in my music because I think that there are so many different topics, discussions and emotions that need to be said about love. For example, I think that there are a lot of relationships or even situations that happen because of love and the idea of love. If I can write a song that may help someone emotionally through a happy or difficult time, or maybe even help them formulate what they might be feeling, then I feel like I did my part as the musician I want to be. I think that love affects people way more than what they know or are willing to admit, and I want to write music that helps listeners understand that it’s normal and OK to feel something.” - Tori Leppert, singer-songwriter


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and its influence on writing songs “My personal definition of love is feeling incomparable comfort around one another as well as strong empathy and the mutual desire to help make each other’s lives better and easier. I would say 75 percent of my music is about love or romantic relationships of some form ... However, most of the songs related to love as a topic are about failed relationships or unrequited love, since my music tends to be an expression of and outlet for negative energy in my life. My first album I’m working on is entirely related to one specific situation involving love and relationships, and I’m not sure that I would have been able to come up with that definition prior to writing those tracks. Writing music helps me define big ideas like love and success for myself without being clouded by wordiness or a fear of judgment.” - Anika Emily, singer-songwriter “Honestly, I still don’t think I have a good idea of what love is. I’m still figuring that out for myself. At least not in a romantic sense. But what I think it is is a feeling of selflessness, the willingness to go above and beyond for a person without any benefit to yourself. I do feel like now more than ever love has become a central point in my music in all aspects, especially from a position of self-love.” - Ausar, rapper

“I used to write a load of break-up songs. It reflected my experiences with love and it was empowering. It felt like I could tell my side of the story and redeem myself. My definition of love has evolved a lot since I’ve been in a committed relationship for a year. Now I know that love is kind. It’s about supporting each other so you can be the best versions of yourself. I don’t write about love as much because I’m not hurting and I’m not daydreaming anymore. True love is my reality.” - Tessa Turner, singer-songwriter

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