Sex Issue

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4 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

S KARIS JOHNSON Executive Editor

ex is hilarious. At least that’s what kids think as they giggle about weird things they looked up on the Internet.

Some of them proudly relate what their older siblings told them, and others are quiet because they don’t know enough to sound cool.

Ears burn and faces turn 50 shades of red at some of the things they didn’t know were real until they pressed the “search” button on Google.

It’s cool to talk about sex in a flippant, Jack-stuck-it-in-Jill-and-it-washysterical sort of way. Kids supplement what they don’t know about sex with the Internet and trading personal — probably exaggerated — experiences of their own.

It’s funny when they don’t understand. They don’t care that no one took the time to tell them about it because who would?

But fast forward 10 years, when these same kids are adults living freely on their own. They know all the ins and outs (quite literally) of sexuality, but because it was just entertainment, they don’t talk about it openly. They’ve stopped snickering, but still don’t understand because it was never a big deal.

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Right? Wrong. Sex is a big deal. It has the capability to change and create life, and that’s what makes it important.

The human race continues existing because of sex — and has fun doing it. The body, a nifty instrument, has the capability to do incredible things — one of which is having sex. The specific organs and systems involved sound like scientific mumbo jumbo, but they are intricate and made for a purpose.

Forget about the physical for a minute and consider the emotional aspect of sexuality, too. The closest form of intimacy comes right along with the whole package, whether you mean for it to.

Why do we insist on keeping it in a locked drawer, so when it finally opens we don’t know what to do with what’s inside? That’s a dangerous way to perceive it. There are too many instances where sexuality has been used as a weapon — hurting people, destroying worlds — to continue snickering at what’s inside the “do not open” drawer.

Communicating openly, honestly and without fear is the only way to get over walking on eggshells around sex, and that’s what this issue of Cooglife is here to do. We want to give you a sense

of sexual ownership, and a chance to think about it as something other than just a weekend past time. We’re not afraid to talk about sex like it’s a big deal.

So while you’re flipping through these pages, I think you’ll laugh at some of the candid stories and anecdotes inside, but you won’t be snickering because sex is a misunderstood punchline.

Coog Radio Hosted by Sebastian Troitino, the Cooglife talk show airs every Wednesday from 5-7 p.m.

The upbeat lifestyle show features talks on art, music, wellness and more.

Coog TV The team at Coog TV airs three lifestyle videos every month for their Cooglife program headed

by Athiwat Saleeby. Check out the links to these videos on our Facebook page, or online at cooglife.com

6 END !

1 .

6 K 3.2 WEE N DAY R FU E T EAS AMILY F

SFAC FUNDED

2016

24

26

6 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

EDITORIAL STAFF EXECUTIVE EDITOR Karis Johnson

432-296-9396 arts@thedailycougar.com

ASSISTANT EDITOR Trey Strange

CLOSING EDITORS Glissette Santana Sean Alder Mónica Rojas

21

10

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WRITERS

DESIGNER

Dean Suchy Marissa Persaud Rose Singh Sonja Aune Greg Fails Mia Valdez Bianca Baymon Joshlyn Thomas Taelor Marquetti-Gadison Kelly Schafler Esperanza Farrell

Courtney Williams

ABOUT THE COVER

Illustration by Courtney Williams

08

14-15

21

ADVERTISING

Gettin’ Frisky

To Sex or Not to Sex

Hookup Etiquette

SALES REPRESENTATIVES

Find out how UH measures up on a national collegiate survey on student sexuality.

10

Birth Control

Sure, condoms are available—but do you know all your options for contraceptives?

12

Questioning Your Sexuality

We asked experts what to do if you are questioning your sexuality.

Check out the arguments for why you should—or should not—be sexually active.

16

Today’s Steps to Finding Bae

You’ve heard your grandparents’ advice, but check out how dating works in the modern world.

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Ten Tips to Your LDR

When it’s hard to be away from your SO, try these tips and tricks.

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Jose Salazar

SALES MANAGER Callista Brown 713-743-5340 csmadvertising@uh.edu

CONTACT COOGLIFE

Getting “the talk” is hard to forget.

Here are some personal stories from students (and their parents).

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@cooglifemag

Mad Lib Love Letter

Author your own unique love letter to that special someone.

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8 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Gettin’ Frisky: Cougars versus America DEAN SUCHY Cooglife Writer

In Spring 2015, UH took part in a nation-wide survey called the National College Health Assessment. More than 93,000 students, including 450 UH students, answered questions about multiple health issues such as alcohol, drugs and of course, sexual activity. That section of the survey asked questions about various sexual activities, different types of protection and HIV testing. The survey provided vital sexual-activity information for the Wellness Center — but they’re not the only ones who need to see the results.

NATION COOGS

How Many StudentsTested for HIV Nationwide?

6%Unsure

24% Yes

These are the results of the all the students nationwide that took this survey.

Patrick Lukingbeal, Director of the Wellness Center, said there

74%

are many other Sexually Transmitted Infections not included in the survey, but the amount of students that are tested for these are normally the same as those

No

that are tested for HIV. With that in mind, the numbers for people saying they have been tested for STI’s are very low: 24 percent. Come on, Cougars.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 9

Types of Contraceptives Used by Student or Partner 53.2%

MALE CONDOM

76% 51.9%

BIRTH CONTROL

WITHDRAWAL METHOD

39% STOP

STOP

STOP STOP 33%

STOP

STOP

STOP

34% STOP

BIRTH CONTROL SHOTS FEMALE MALE

VAGINAL RING Male condoms, birth control and withdrawal seem the top types of pregnancy and STI protectors on campus, according to the study.

However, most students do not

seem to use options such as vaginal rings, spermicide or even birth control shots.

Still, if you are sexually active, check out these less common op-

tions to prevent pregnancy.

They might be a better fit for you or even be more effective than “withdrawal.”

10 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

All About Options Understanding the ins and outs of birth control and where you can get it JOSHLYN THOMAS Cooglife Writer

On any college campus, condoms are one of the many freebies available to students. But what other forms of birth control are available to students to ensure safe sex?

At UH, internal and external condoms are available at the Women and Gender Resource Center and LBGT Resource Center on the second floor of the Student Center North.

Look no further than the UH Health Center’s Women’s Clinic.

The Women’s Health Clinic — located in the Student Service Center 2 — provides an array of services to students from well-woman exams to routine pap smears. Not only are gynecological complaints evaluated, but contraception and STD tests and treatments are also available.

The clinic is staffed by a nurse practitioner and a physician with specialized training in women’s health. Referral to specialists may be obtained through the clinic if a particular treatment is not available on campus. Visits are available to all UH students by appointment.

The Women’s Clinic also offers contraceptive sponges and spermicides as over-the-counter birth control methods.

Prescription methods like birth control pills, vaginal rings (Nuvaring) and “the shot” (Depo-Provera) are a few of the hormonal treat-

ments available. Non-hormonal options such as diaphragms, cervical caps and shields are other alternatives that can be prescribed and inserted. Permanent procedures such as tubal sterilization are also an option.

For other options like the patch (Ortho-Evra), implants like Implanon or Nexplanon, or an Intrauterine Device or IUD, students have to seek an off-campus healthcare provider. Hormonal IUD (Mirena and Skyla) and nonhormonal IUD with copper (Paragard) are also options to consider.

Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex but should never be used as an alternative to birth control.

Emergency Contraception such as Plan B One-Step is not available on campus. Emergency Contraception pills can cost between $35 and $60 (or more) when purchased at a pharmacy, according to a report from the American Society for Emergency.

There are ways to obtain a discount on emergency contraception, and Plan B One-Step offers a $10 coupon on its website. Download and print the coupon and bring it

with you to a store that carries Plan B. Costs may vary among retailers, so check with your local stores for current retail prices.

Planned Parenthood’s Family Planning Sliding Scale can also help with calculating the amount of coverage for Plan B. Check with your health insurance provider to see if your coverage can pay for the cost of emergency contraception.

Although not discounted, another option is the copper IUD, which can be inserted as and used as Emergency Contraception for up to five days after unprotected sex.

Remember: bodies are diverse and will react differently with different methods and brands. Talk to your healthcare provider before starting any sort of birth control and to find the right one for your body. Contact your insurance provider to see if you qualify for free or reduced birth control options.

No matter the cost, your health is a priceless priority.

Whether your contraception is found on or off campus, make sure the option is best suited for your needs with the help of a physician.

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12 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Questioning Sexuality

We asked the experts, and here’s what they have to say

TREY STRANGE Assistant Cooglife Editor

The experts agree: let’s talk about sex, baby — but let’s talk about gender and sexuality, too.

“I just think that there has to be more focus on giving people permission to talk about what they like, what they don’t like,” Director of Counseling and Psychological Services Norma Ngo said. “I think there’s a lot of wrong information that is fed through the media in our culture that often points to sexuality as being negative, and focusing on what’s working and what’s not working.”

Despite any perceived social pressures, UH LGBTQ counseling staff seems to advise students questioning their identities, either sexual or gender-related, to speak up and explore themselves.

Ngo is a licensed sex therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educations, Counselors and Therapists, which trains and counsels people on sexual issues.

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sel students through a variety of obstacles, including the questioning of sexual and gender identity.

She aims for students to understand themselves and their desires through conversation.

“In our culture, sex is kind of seen as a dirty secret, you know? There’s not a lot of talk about sexual health,” Ngo said. “Like what is pleasurable for you, what do you think about sexuality, what do you feel like you have permission to do, to look at, or talk about? I think opening up these conversations for students to have these opportunities to talk about all areas of sexuality is important.”

QUESTION

Continues on next page

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 13

QUESTION

Continued from previous page

Director of the LGBTQ Resource Center Lorraine Schroeder, too, understands the plight that students questioning their sexuality face — she helps people with it all the time.

“There is no rush to decide,” Schroeder said. “It is OK to not be sure. If you are feeling depressed or anxious or are engaging in unhealthy coping activities, try to move past your fears and reach out for help. Even though society can send some negative messages, all people deserve to live an authentic, happy life. You are worthy of that.”

Schroeder also stressed that students can talk about their ideas and ask LGBTQ-identifying questions. If they aren’t ready to talk, they can also read books— there’s plenty of literature readily available, and of course students can visit the Resource Center in the Student Center North.

But sexuality is not the only thing students question. Gender, which refers to an individual’s roles, behaviors and expectations in society, as opposed to sex, which is the biological make-up of an individual, has fallen into a spotlight of scrutiny in recent years.

And it’s OK if that confuses students right now, said Liam Stone, a graduate assistant to the LGBTQ Resource Center, because there’s still so much to understand about gender identity. A common misconception, he stressed, is that transgender people are just so gay that they decide to change their genders.

“Gender is so multi-functional and so confusing,” Stone said. “We spent the entirety of the 20th century figuring out sexuality; we’re going to spend the entirety of the 21st century figuring out gender.”

Born a woman, Stone found himself enamored with Queer Literature while in his bachelor’s program. Through that study, he began to realize that he felt male around age 22 and came out at 24.

A year later, he started taking medication to prepare for his transition.

Gender identity, Stone said, differs from sexual identity in that the first is about self-identification while the second is about identifying subjects of an individual’s attraction – citing as a popular idiom that says sexual orientation is about “whom you go to sleep with,” while gender is about “whom you go to sleep as.”

“Stop resisting your gender,” Stone said. “During my adolescence and my early 20s, I always

kind of experience gender confusion but my only exposure to transgender people were sensationalized narratives. So for a long time, I resisted being trans because it didn’t resonate until I actually became part of the community.”

But not everyone questions their sexuality. Some take comfort in traditional ideas of sexuality and don’t feel the need to explore. For those, Stone said it’s still import-

ant to show support.

“Life is freaking weird, and gender’s weird, and sexuality is weird,” Stone said. “We’re all human. None of us are the same. Things change.

In terms of supporting people while they’re questioning this, it is important to validate. It is OK to question and it is OK to be in flux and it is OK to not know.”

Additional reporting by Rose Singh

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14 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Sex is Good and Good for You Run, don’t walk: more sex is better for your health TREY STRANGE Assistant Cooglife Editor

Looking to have a healthier semester? One way: get frisky.

Studies show that despite social or cultural taboos, sexual activity can offer great benefits to your physical and emotional health.

According to Dr. Lissa Rankin, a New York Times bestselling author of medical and self-help books, heathy sex can lead to myriad life improvements, including longer life, stronger immune systems, better sleep, etc.

—and the list goes on.

Great sex helps out the heart.

It does this by improving blood flow and decreasing systolic blood pressure. That’s the first number on

those arm-readers at Wal-Mart, and lowering that number can reduce your chance of strokes and heart disease, according to WebMD. A 2010 study published in the American Journal of Cardiology showed that men who had sex twice a week were less likely to develop heart disease. So hop to it, boys.

Then there’s the practical reasoning: you hate going to the gym and seeing all the guys and gals with washboard abs while you swamp over the treadmill. But sex is an aerobic exercise; it works your body in a healthy way. No more elliptical.

You don’t even need to trek to the Rec Center to do this exercise — although you most certainly could.

But then you hit finals week. The pressure to perform on tests heightens, but flopping around with your partner (or partners) on a bed (or couch, or floor) has been proven as a stress reliever because it lowers stress hormone levels in the body.

Studies have also shown links between sex and the treatment of depression. Although unconfirmed, doctors register that sex boosts the release of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin, and orgasms contribute to the brain’s release of dopamine, which helps the body relax.

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So even if you don’t suffer from depression, sex is still a pick-me-up.

One study even proposes that semen contains mood-enhancing chemicals, but you probably shouldn’t try that one — having unprotected sex can lead to some not-very-moodenhancing little buggers running around.

In the end, you can stay fit and healthy other ways.

Drudge your way through P90X, eat vegetables and fiber bars or become a Buddhist — but if you want to spruce things up physically and emotionally, getting it on is definitely the answer.

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Tuesday, February 2, 2016 15

The Case for Abstinence What’s so great about having sex anyway?

KARIS JOHNSON Cooglife Editor

The idea of abstinence is often wrapped up in the belief that refraining from having sex is an outdated buzzkill. In truth, abstinence is the only completely effective way to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy while also providing the opportunity to build stronger relationships and a healthier personal view on sexuality.

No way, you say. After all, isn’t this issue supposed to be about sex?

The numerous forms of birth control and contraceptives have increased, but the reality is that abstinence is the only true protection against the side effects of being sexually active.

Abstinence may be defined in several different ways depending on the person, but the simple way to view abstinence is choosing not to engage in any kind of sexual activity, including oral sex and anal sex.

“Some people think of abstinence as not having vaginal intercourse,” Planned Parenthood’s website said.

“They may enjoy other kinds of sexual activities that don’t lead to pregnancy. And some people define abstinence as not having any kind of sex play with a partner.”

STDs are different in the way they are contracted. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the most common forms of STDs — including gonorrhea, HPV

and herpes – are transmitted orally.

Taking abstinence a step farther and refraining from any form of oral sex eliminates the chance of contracting these viruses.

Besides providing fool-proof health benefits, abstinence has been shown to foster healthier relationships.

According to a 2010 article by the Washington Post, romantic relationships are prone to last longer when sexuality is placed on the back burner.

“Couples who start a relationship based on physical interaction may be less satisfied in the long run than those who delay sex,” the article said.

The article discusses a study done by University of Iowa sociologist Anthony Paik, who specializes in the study of sexual behavior. Paik conducted extensive research on the satisfaction levels of couples in committed and casual relationships.

According to Paik’s study, couples who had sex before committing to their relationship were significantly less satisfied, often due to a misunderstanding of who was in it for sex and who was in it for the long-haul.

“Delay sex so that way you kind of select out those individuals who are predisposed to not look for a longterm relationship,” Paik said.

Besides building mutual understanding between partners,

abstinence also ensures that emotional needs such as love and acceptance are not replaced by sex.

The human need for acceptance is often replaced by sexuality as an emotional filler, and abstinence provides an opportunity to fill those needs with something other than a one-night stand.

“Using sex as a coping mechanism can create depression, low self-es-

teem, or interpersonal problems, and often leads to hyper sexuality,” according to a study done by social scientists Hajcak and Garwood.

Instead of using sexuality as a substitute for needs, focus on positive ways to fill emotional cavities.

Abstaining from sex until both partners have found their needs met in something other than their sexuality is beneficial in the long run.

So how do you put abstinence into practice?

There are several ways to hold yourself accountable if you choose

to remain abstinent for health or personal reasons. And no, they don’t involve chastity belts.

One of the top ways to stick to this decision is to remind yourself why you chose to be abstinent in the first place. Make a list of the benefits and then think about how capable you are of sticking to them and which situations you should avoid.

If you find yourself in a sexually charged position, take a minute to clear your head and think about your decision. In relationships, be open with your partner about the choice to refrain from sex. Communicating with someone you trust deepens the relationship and builds a support system to fall back on when it gets hard (no pun intended).

Abstinence is not a binding contract to never enjoy having sex, and it doesn’t have to be dressed up as a frumpy, old-fashioned ideal of what not to do. Sexuality it a part of humanity, but choosing when — and when not — to employ it may make a world of difference.

Refraining from having sex is a personal decision which improves health, eliminates risks and fosters emotional growth both in relationships and personally.

The best part? You get to choose.

16 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Today’s Steps for Finding Bae What you need to know to score a honey in the modern world

DEAN SUCHY Cooglife Writer

We’ve all heard it before… “Well back in my day…”

This is normally followed by a long story that you’ve heard about how your grandfather courted your grandmother and he didn’t need the darn Internet.

STEP ONE: THE FIRST CONTACT

While the way that people get together has changed, the basic steps of getting a date have not. Since we aren’t living in 20th century, here are three steps on how to get a date in some modern scenarios.

Scenario 1: It’s the first day of class

This step usually consists of seeing someone and thinking “Hey, I could like you.”

and you are worried about this class being a bore. Then suddenly — bam.

An amazing specimen of a human walks into your class and sits in the front. You like what you see.

2016

UH I nter faith Week Monday

Tour the Torah 12 Noon - Butler Plaza See an entire Torah scroll unrolled.

Rabbi Kenny Weiss of Hillel will read and explain passages of importance to Jews, Christians and Muslims.

Taize Prayer Ecumenical Service 5:00 pm - University Chapel, A.D. Bruce Religion Center Sponsored by the Baptist Student Ministry, Catholic Newman Center and UH Canterbury

Thursday

Free Interfaith Lunch

11:30 am to 1 pm - Atrium A.D. Bruce Religion Center Everyone welcome. Sponsored by The Bridge/Wesley Foundation

Interfaith Potluck Dinner/Discussion 7:00 to 9:00 pm - Catholic Newman Center (Across from the Bauer College of Business) RSVP to Claire McMullin at cnimullin@hotmail.com

Tuesday

Wednesday

Ask the Rabbi Free Bagel Lunch 12 Noon - 104 A.D. Bruce Religion Center Ask Hillel’s Rabbi Kenny Weiss anything about Judaism.

Can you have Martin Luther King’s dream without his faith?

Noon at the Baptist Student Union (Across from Bauer College of Business) Lunch disucssion sponsored by Bridges International and the Baptist Student Association.

UH Interfaith SermonSlam Tuesday at 7:00 pm Student Center Legacy Lounge SermonSlam is a poetry slam, but for sermons. And by “sermon” we’re talking about poetry, prose and other briefly delivered wisdom.

The UH Interfaith SermonSlam will cross religious and cultural boundaries and is intended for members of ALL faith communities - and those with no faith at all. PRIZES FOR THE WINNING SERMONS!

Free Interfaith Lunch 11:30 - 1 p.m. - Atrium - A.D. Bruce Religion Center Everyone welcome. Sponsored by Cougars for Christ/Church of Christ

Oremus [Let Us Pray] Interfaith Prayer Service 12:15 pm - Meditation Chapel A.D. Bruce Religion Center

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STEP TWO: THE FOLLOW UP This step requires some sort of communication to get on that special someone’s radar.

soon. Oops you forgot to pay attention in class, but you know who didn’t: that cutie in the front row.

After class you mention something to them about your probable failure and ask for their number so they can “send you some notes.”

You now have those beautiful nine digits and you won’t just be talking about math.

Scenario 2: After that infamous

swipe, you proceed to look at their profile. Their profile picture is very attractive. They like sports, and you watched the Super Bowl last year. Oh, and they have a cat named Snickers.

You love chocolate. So now you open up that chat box and craft a beautiful message. A few seconds later, they respond. Perfect.

STEP THREE: THE QUESTION Friday

Open Shabbat dinner Houston Hillel, 1700 Bissonnet (corner of Dunlavy) Everyone is welcome, no RSVP necessary 5:15 pm - Challah baking 6:00 pm - Shabbat prayer 6:45 pm - Dinner

Interested in slamming? Send an email to Kenny at kweiss@houstonhillel.org.

A.D. Bruce Religion Center and Campus Ministries Association

your apartment off campus. You are really regretting not living on campus, so you decide to get on Tinder or Grindr or whatever you’re feeling.

After about five minutes of fours and fives, you see a stunning 10. You both swipe right, and it’s on.

Scenario 1: The first test is coming

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Scenario 2: Another lonely night in

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This is where you have to take the leap of faith and actually ask them out.

Scenario 1: You just finished that

test an hour early and leave algebra with a misled sense of empowerment. Oh, and guess who finished early with a humble sense of accomplishment?

Yes, your future special someone.

You proudly walk up to them and thank them for their help, but instead of stopping there you add, “Can I repay you with a meal at Café 101?”

They look you in the eye and say,

BAE

Continues on next page

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 17

BAE

Continued from previous page “Why not?” You have acquired a date.

Semester goals complete.

got nothing to lose.

Except for maybe having to listen to your grandparents’ love story again if it doesn’t work out.

Scenario 2: After a few days of ca-

:)

sual messaging, you decide that you want to actually meet this mystery person. Your fingers start to tremble while you create another incredible composition, asking if they want to meet in person.

You pause, take a breath and then press send. They finally respond with, “I have been waiting forever for you ask me. Let’s go tonight.” Congratulations, you are going on a date.

Will you go on a date with me?

Check on e Yes

Now after both of these people have had their dates, they might go on a few more, they might not.

If they don’t end up liking the other person then oh well, no harm no foul.

They might try again on Tinder next week, or find someone in a different class.

Take the simple steps: find someone you may like, communicate with them and then ask them out. You’ve

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18 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Diverse Persextives

People are different, and so are the ways they view sexuality MIA VALDEZ Cooglife Writer

So much goes into a person’s decision to have sex, and that decision is often influenced by religion, culture and country. Sex is personal and is nearly always influenced by the worldview of its practitioners.

Before looking at how other societies view sexuality, it is important to understand our own culture. Western countries tend to be more exposed

to and accepting of liberal views on sexuality, and the U.S. in particular regards sex openly.

While this is true today, mainstream American culture has not always been so liberal.

Malkia Hutchinson, program coordinator of the Women and Gender Resource Center, said ideas on sex and sexuality are complex in American history.

“We can say they really began to change during the second wave of feminism in the 1960s-1970s, but even then not all men and women are held equal under those changing norms,” Hutchinson said. “That time period also saw the rise of the Gay Liberation movement which helped to make visible the lives of LGBT individuals.”

While American sexuality was heightened, other cultures held to their traditional and societal views on sex.

According to an article, “5 Surprising Ways Sexy Time is Practiced Around the World,” one Nigerian Tribe, the Wodaabe men, have been known to steal wives from one another. In other words, infidelity is seen as If the couple is able to avoid detection from the current husband, they become recognized by their peers and enter into a de facto common law marriage, known as a “love marriage.”

“In India — and in Indian households in general — sex just isn’t a thing that’s talked about or even acknowledged,” said pre-business freshman Sakshi Multani, an Indian-American student. “There is a sort of unspoken expectation that you have to wait until marriage to have sex in accordance with religious and societal rules. This is very different from American culture, where sex is almost a rite of passage for most

teenagers.”

Multani said religious views on sexuality in Indian culture are closely tied to their culture. This is true for other regions of the world as well.

Because there are differences between foreign and westernized ideas of sexuality, it would not be unwarranted to expect tension between those who hold different values in regards to sex.

“Adding in race and class complicate how much latitude and freedom individuals are allowed in expressing their sexuality,” Hutchinson said.

“Ideally, (different groups) would (interact) with respect to the relative differences and beliefs each group adheres to.”

So no matter how you decide to have sex, make sure to respect your partner and the billions of people who are doing it.

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Tuesday, February 2, 2016 19

Love Sounds RUPAL MEHTA Web Director at Coog Radio

Pony Ginuwine If you know about R&B classics, you know that this song will always be part of that genre. “Magic Mike” recently popularized the track, but Ginuwine will always stay genuine to the beat produced by Timbaland.

Gibberish Ryan Leslie With a fitting title, Ryan Leslie self-produced and recorded this song with the intention of his listeners not being able to understand a single lyric in the track. It makes you listen closely. Clever, Mr. Leslie.

The Zone The Weeknd ft. Drake This Toronto native is known for his sensual lyrics, which were made even more spectacular when he collaborated with Drake on this track to get you into the zone.

In the Morning J. Cole ft. Drake Even though J. Cole isn’t known for releasing sensual songs, this track earns a spot on this list for clever wordplay and an excellent verse by Mr. OVO himself.

Ride It Jay Sean People may remember British pop star Jay Sean from his hit single “Down,” but this smooth track definitely earned a spot on this list for being the right amount of catchy and alluring.

No Sense Justin Bieber ft. Travi$ Scott With the success of his album “Purpose,” the Biebz kills it on this slow, deep bass track with a feature from Houston native rapper Travi$ Scott.

Practice Drake Sampling Juvenile’s classic, Drake speaks to independent women everywhere and knows that they’ve been “practicing” for him. A little too confident, if you ask me.

Don’t Bryson Tiller Gaining major leverage and popularity with this track, this self-produced jam earned Tiller a spot on Cooglife’s sexy playlist of slow jams and good vibes.

Untitled (How Does It Feel) Matt Bomer Yes, you read that correctly. Matt Bomer is beautiful and can sing, too. This track that was featured in “Magic Mike XXL” is the perfect slow jam for your valentine this month.

Cake Trey Songz The appearance of Mr. Steal Your Girl on this playlist is no surprise.

This track from his most recent project, “Trigga,” gave life to this song for you and your valentine, or your beautiful single self, to jam out to this month.

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20 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Ten Tips for a Long Distance Relationship Tried and true advice that could work for bae and you MARISSA PERSAUD Cooglife Writer

Many people in college end up meeting their significant other, but what if they just happen to live in Iowa or Timbuktu? Physical closeness and sex play a crucial part in relationships, and long distance relationships may seem impossible at times. But if you and your partner are willing to put in work, they can still be successful. Here are a few tried-and-true tips to keep your LDR strong.

COMMUNICATION Sharing your feelings is an important part of any re-

lationship. Being in a LDR means that you have to rely on words to express how you feel in the place of physical forms of affection. Communication can make or break a LDR — make sure to be honest with your partner and share your thoughts and feelings often. Open communication is always the way to go.

STAY CONNECTED LDR relationships tend to suffer when one or both partners don’t stay connected. Come up with activities you can share together like watching the same TV show, playing a game, or even both indulging on Taco Tuesdays.

This help you connect with your partner and share feelings and experiences on the same thing.

SHARING When you are apart from your partner most of the time, sharing your day can make you feel closer.

Apps like Snapchat make it very easy to connect to your partner throughout the day and make them feel close to you. While they may not need to know all the details — like what your cat ate for dinner — keep them updated. They care about how your day goes.

PLANNING Always try to plan to see each other as much as possible. Whether it’s a day trip or a Skype call, this keeps the relationship upbeat when both partners look forward to seeing each other. They may not be lengthy plans, but the excitement of getting to see your significant other is a positive element of an LDR.

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When you are constantly apart, it’s easy to slip into the mode of focusing on the negative aspect of the relationship: the distance. Focusing on the negative, often uncontrollable, aspects of the relationship can make it feel like it’s not worth it. Instead, think about the good qualities of your LDR and partner.

Remind each other of the good times to come, and write out the things you miss about them to remind yourself and show them later.

SPACE Even though LDRs have a lot of this involved already, understand that everyone still needs their own personal space. Don’t be too clingy or over-communicate, because the relationship can begin to feel like a burden rather than an outlet. Try to find the happy medium.

BOUNDARIES Just because your partner is not with you all the time doesn’t mean that you should consider yourself free from the boundaries of relationships.

This means respecting your partner and being loyal. Don’t put yourself in situations that can lead to cheating or violating the commitments of your relationship.

SNAIL MAIL A handwritten letter or note can go a long way. Don’t be afraid to send your partner something that lets them know they are on your mind.

Even flowers or small gift is great to send and receive. If you get to visit your partner often, try slipping a cute note somewhere they will find it later.

This is a great way to show that you are thinking of them, and even a small gesture can speak volumes.

MAINTAIN THE SPARK With the lack of physical touch, especially sex, it can be easy to lose the spark in a relationship.

There are many creative ways to keep the flame alive. Find unique ways to let your partner know that although you aren’t together, you are still attracted to them and you can’t wait to be with them again.

1UST REMEMBER….

Don’t forget that at the end of a day, a LDR is only successful when both partners are equally committed and have the same end goal in mind.

You can’t force a relationship to be successful. Give your relationship your best effort, make sure your partner is doing the same and your relationship will be worth it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 21

Proper Etiquette for Hooking Up

It’s a cultural experience, but here is how to stay safe and have fun ESPERANZA FARRELL Cooglife Writer

Let’s talk about casual sex. People subscribe to the great philosophy of minding their own business, promoting adults everywhere to explore opportunities once considered taboo.

When deciding to hook up with someone, there are thousands of factors to consider, each one unique to your boundaries and tastes. But at the end of the night, when you’re hot and bothered, these general guidelines may grant you a safer, healthier hook-up experience.

27

400+

INFINITE

DO CARRY MULTIPLE FORMS OF CONTRACEPTIVES AND STI PREVENTION. Educate yourself on the available protection and utilize freebies from health clinics. You are responsible for practicing healthy sex habits. Don’t compromise a life of sexual well-being for one evening of pleasure.

decisions. Resist the temptation of going home with someone while drunk.

A few drinks may appear to heighten the experience, but alcohol lowers inhibitions while causing nausea and impotence.

DO TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Your subconscious minds can pick up signals of which you would otherwise be unaware. If your gut tells you to run away, listen. Besides, sex is best between comfortable partners. Any fear or hesitation should be your first step in reconsidering your decision.

DON’T OVERSTEP BOUNDARIES. Whether you’re experimenting with a friend or flirting with a stranger, you need to be aware of both you and your partner’s boundaries. If you’re worried about miscommunication, a simple question or statement can save you unnecessary drama down the line.

DO LET SOMEONE KNOW YOUR WHEREABOUTS. Tell a friend if you’re spending an evening with a stranger. Make sure to include where you will go. You should not jeopardize your safety by following a stranger blindly into any situation,

but if you do, it only takes a few presses of a button to send your location to someone you trust.

DON’T MAKE DECISIONS WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE. Try to keep a clear head about your

DON’T ASSUME ANYTHING No matter if it’s sexual identity, fetishes, cleanliness, prowess, intent or even identity. And NEVER assume the most important aspect of sex: consent.

As an adult, make sure your actions are legal and respectful — even if you need to stiffen up and ask outright.

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22 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Check Yo’self

The inside scoop on STD testing — how, when and why

BIANCA BAYMON Cooglife Writer

Sex and STD testing are not mutually exclusive, contrary to how people tend to treat them. Participating in sexual activities warrants the need to be tested.

“If somebody is having any kind of sex, and that means oral, vaginal, anal, or anything, then they are at risk,” Laura McGuire, sex and violence prevention and education program manager at the Wellness Center, said. “Any STD that you can get from penetrative sex, you can get from oral sex.”

One of the most common stereotypes is that oral sex does not count as sex, which leads to the lack of knowledge about the risk factors involved. It is possible to contract gonorrhea, herpes, HIV, chlamydia and other STDs through the mouth.

“When you’re young you think that is the safe thing to do, but it’s not so you should get tested,” McGuire said.

Many common myths exist about STDs. The biggest one is that if somebody looks healthy then they can’t possibly have an STD. This myth is debunked, because most times there is no visible sign that someone is infected.

Another one of the myths is the belief that women that have sex with other women are protected from STDs. While they are the population that is at the least risk, they can still contract common STDs, including herpes.

The herpes simplex virus has two different types. Type 1 is contracted by mouth to mouth contact. Type 2 is genital herpes, which is transmitted by sexual contact.

“If you have oral sex with somebody and they have a cold sore coming on but it’s not visible yet, they are still contagious and herpes type 1 can be transmitted to the genitals,” McGuire said.

When an STD is left undiagnosed

and untreated, it can lead to fertility issues, pregnancy complications, cancer and the further spread of the infection to other people. That is why knowing your status is so important.

A recent study conducted in a National College Health Assessment revealed some surprising findings relating to UH students.

According to the study, female students had participated in more oral and vaginal sex compared to other colleges. Also, women at UH reported lower numbers of not using a condom all of the time and cited the withdrawal method as one of the top three birth control methods. These findings conclude that UH students are at risk, and the campus is taking initiative to get people tested.

Every seven hours one person in Houston is contracted with the HIV infection.

Hispanics and African-Americans aged 18-24 have the highest rates of newly diagnosed HIV cases in Houston and throughout the country. As a result of these alarming statistics, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration allotted UH with a grant to provide free HIV testing through SMART Cougars as a way to collect data on this demographic.

Although Hispanics and African-Americans are the target demographic, anyone can get tested with SMART Cougars.

With the third grant that SAMHSA is giving UH, SMART Cougars will be expanding the population for the data that is collected.

“We’re including South Asians, Native Americans, veterans, pretty much everybody, because the campus is very diverse so we wanted to get a grant where we can collect data on everybody,” Esmeralda Sotelo, lead health promotions specialist for SMART Cougars, said.

While some tests require a needle prick, SMART Cougars commonly uses a cotton swab HIV test, which examines

cells scraped from the gums with 99.7 percent accuracy. After the oral swab is completed, the sample is placed in a vile with a liquid for 20 minutes before results are given.

“It’s kind of like a pregnancy test where it shows a line,” Sotelo said.

“One line would be negative and two lines, the control and the test line, would indicate that it is a preliminary positive.”

If someone has a preliminary positive result, SMART Cougars tests the person again to confirm the result. If the result is still a positive, then the sample is given to a testing lab for the City of Houston to verify the result.

SMART Cougars recommends that sexually active people should get tested every three months, especially if they are having sex without a condom.

“We say three months because that is how long it takes for HIV antibodies to develop in your system,” Sotelo said. “So, if you had sex with somebody last week and then get tested this week it’s not going to show up.

Not only is it important to get tested for HIV regularly, but also for all STDs. Early detection is the key when it comes down to sexually transmitted diseases.

“Some people live with HIV for years and don’t have any symptoms, which is why it is important to get tested,” - Esmeralda Sotelo

“Some people live with HIV for years and don’t have any symptoms, which is why it is important to get tested, because if you have HIV you can get on treatment and have a happy normal life,” Sotelo said.

There are different ways to get tested depending on which STD. Some of the most common ways are testing urine samples, blood samples, swabbing the mouth or genitals and swabbing bodily discharge and sores.

Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience between two consenting adults. There is nothing pleasurable about contracting an STD, so McGuire has three main things that she wants students to know about sex.

The first one is that everybody should get tested. The second is that when you’re getting to know someone, you should be tested before even getting to the point of partaking in sexual activity.

The third thing is that if your partner isn’t willing to use safer sex practices, then move on to someone that will be.

“No matter how charming and romantic and sexy somebody is, you will not end up with most people that you date or hook up with,” Dr. McGuire said.

“The one person you will always be with until death is yourself and you have one body.”

SMART COUGARS

• 713-743-1273 • uhsmartcougars.uh.edu • Located inside the Campus Recreation & Wellness Center • Provides FREE HIV/Aids testing, substance abuse, and mental health assessments • Also provides free testing for organization and dormitory events if requested

HEALTH CENTER • 713-743-5151 • Located in Student Service Center 2 • Provides STD Testing for a fee and many other services

WELLNESS CENTER • 713-743-5430 • Located in the Campus Recreation & Wellness Center • Provides resources for the body, mind and spirit

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 23

The Gift of Giving

Money can sometimes buy you love, but so can these other things

DEAN SUCHY Cooglife Writer

The art of giving to show someone that you really care is one of the most important aspects of a growing relationship. You can tell someone you love them every day, but supplementing that with a gift is a win-win for you both.

Gifts don’t have to be something extravagant or even something material. Here are some different types of gifts you can give someone to show them you care.

TIME The gift of time is something that many people forget. Just giving up some of your time to be with them is imperative. This goes for all types of relationships. Give your family a call once in a while — they might actually miss you. Or maybe skip going to the gym tonight and take your special someone out to eat. Whatever you do,

giving some of your precious time is always an amazing gift.

HOMEMADE Although this one may seem like it’s only for the crafty gift-giver, it most certainly is not. Whomever you care about will love whatever you make — even if it’s not incredibly artistic — simply because you are the one who made it. Draw a picture from them, make a scrapbook, drop a mixtape with straight fire on it. Whatever you do, just do your best. What if worst comes to worst and your project sucks? At least you can laugh over the flop together.

PHYSICAL Sometimes nothing makes you and your person happier than some sweet, physical love. If you aren’t there yet in

your relationship, find other way to express you care physically. In reality, just a random kiss on the cheek or a heartfelt hug will do the trick. Backs scratches, massages and head rubs are also well received. And if all else fails, who isn’t down for a good, old-fashioned make-out session?

PERSONAL Gifts don’t always have to be expensive. If you remember that their favorite animal is a cheetah, and you see a cute, little stuffed animal cheetah, grab that.

When they cuddle with it, they’ll be thinking of you.

If you see a pair of Nike socks that would look a straight 10 on your special friend, snag those. You know your person better than anyone else, so think about the little things when you’re out

and about — you’d be surprised at what you find.

PRICEY Every once in a while, getting someone an expensive gift can really make them feel loved. A beautiful necklace, ticket to a Rockets games, a dinner at the Spindletop in the Hyatt Regency or even tickets to a play are all great and fun options. If you have the funds, it never hurts to spend a little more to make your person a little, or a lot, happier.

Whether they’re your friends, family or lover, people love to receive gifts. Find out what your person would want and if you can give it to them. You have a chance to make someone really happy, so why not? Maybe, just maybe they will give you something in return.

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24 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

How did your parents give you the ’the talk’ before college?

GREG FAILS Cooglife Writer

Growing up, my parents never sat me down to give me the old “when a mommy and daddy love each other very much” speech. Neither of them bothered to do more than ask if I knew about the “sex stuff,” and then leave the nitty gritty to television and the Internet.

In Catholic school, I was taught that it doesn’t matter if you wrap your willy every time you stick it in — you’ll get STDs, she’ll get pregnant and you’ll both go to hell.

So nothing helpful there either.

I don’t blame my parents; it had to be intimidating on their end. After all, how do you approach that topic when your kids can get any information they want from the Internet? Eventually, though, “the talk” will happen, and while these discussions range from cringe-inducing to heartfelt, sex advice from parents is something everyone remembers.

Olivia L. Economics sophomore “My parents are super conservative and don’t like to discuss sex with me. Once, my dad very politely and sincerely asked me not to become a lesbian. I told him I was bisexual, and he sighed and went back to playing online poker. My mom told me after I graduated I should only have sex with one person ever so I wouldn’t have a comparison point, and that way all sex would be relatively good.”

Luke W. Entrepreneurship sophomore “My mom told me a story about her mom. Her mom told her to go piss before having sex. That was about it.”

Gabby T. Political science freshman “I am the product of a teenage pregnancy. My ma, the archetype of innocent Catholic school girl, managed to have me at 18. As soon as I got old enough to walk around and not cry all the time, my mom took me to some of her classes at UH because, at the time, no one could watch me. I attended her clubs and sorority meetings and she would take me around campus. My earliest memories take place on campus from age 1 to about 5. So when I got older (old enough to understand that I was the product of a young mom), looking at old pictures of my mom’s college years, I’m in almost every picture.

My family jokingly called me a founding sister of Sigma Lambda Gamma

TABLET FRIENDLY

because I was in every picture at two years old. And while it was funny, I had to look at the pictures with a grain of salt, because I felt like my existence held her back from doing more. I have a good ma though, because she reassured me that if not for me, she would have never done all the good shit she did in college. My existence pushed her to do better — to graduate. When it comes to sex, she has always taught me contradicting lessons: being safe is important, but also have fun. But what she really taught me is that mistakes aren’t the end of the world, instead they’re sometimes just a chance to do better.”

Brandon M. Philosophy senior “Never had the sex talk... (my) dad knew I would never get laid.”

Charles H. Exploratory studies freshman

“My father just avoided talking to me about it and acknowledged his failure as a parent to me.”

Amy W. Biomedical engineering sophomore “My mom basically gave me a huge bag of condoms this last year and told me to be safe. Seriously though, it was one of those drawstring bags and it was stuffed full. There had to be like 1,000 in there.”

Ryan H. Computer technology freshman “My Dad told me, ‘son, you can talk to as many women you as want. Sing to them, have a little cheek action, but never make out with ‘em unless you want to marry ‘em. Because once you do that, you’re done for. It’s like a trap.

‘Cause you know, making out leads to something else and then before you know it, you might get someone pregnant and shit’.”

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Tuesday, February 2, 2016 25

Best Sex Shops in Houston TAELOR MARQUETTI-GADISON Copy Chief

Sex shops can be the perfect place for exploring personal tastes and trying new things, but it’s important to know what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for novelty, anything from parody products to party favors, you might not want to go to a shop that focuses on high-end toys. Based on a few main categories, here are four sex shops around Houston that are great for both experienced shoppers and novices.

KATZ Katz is a top-notch sex shop that feels like an erotic supermarket. From sex toys and porn videos to lingerie and novelty merchandise, Katz has it all. Above all, Katz excels in costumes, offering corsets, bras, lingerie and even wigs. The store also possesses four colossal display racks of porn videos. This amount of

products paired with Katz’s bright atmosphere might intimidate those who are not familiar with a sex shop environment. If students are looking for an open, more advanced environment with loads of options, Katz is the place to go.

party accessories. While Yandy offers great costume options, it fails to provide for any other category. However, if you’re looking for a costume to go to a party or just enjoying a nice night at home, Yandy is a good place to start.

Toys: 4.5 Porn: 4.5 Body Oils & Lubricant: 4 Costumes: 5 Novelty: 3.5

Toys: Porn: N/A Body Oils & Lubricant: N/A Costumes: 5 Novelty: 4.5

YANDY

ADAM & EVE

For more discreet shoppers who’d rather not browse at a physical store, an online site like Yandy is the best. Yandy often has site sales, appealing to the average college student’s budget. With its wide selection of lingerie and costumes, it might seem specifically geared toward women, but Yandy brings limited, albeit high-quality, offerings for men. Yandy carries options from casual undergarments and lingerie to seasonal costumes and shoes. For those who like to rave, Yandy even has essential rave gear and

glasses for bachelorette parties. This shop is a great choice for anyone who is seeking out information or sexual advice.

Toys: 5 Porn: 3 Body Oils & Lubricants: 5 Costumes: 3.5 Novelty: 3.5

HOLLYWOOD SUPER CENTER

The shop presents a warm, welcoming environment to customers looking to embrace their sex lives. The employees are friendly, knowledgeable about the products and eager to answer any questions, which comes in handy when you’re exploring the shop’s fantastic toy collection. While A&E excels in sex toys and lubricants, they drop the ball when it comes to costumes, porn videos and novelty. They offer a limited selection of lingerie, shoe products and porn. There’s also a serious lack of penis-shaped shot

From outside, one might not even be able to tell that Hollywood Super Center is a sex shop. However, the store turns into sort of sex library, displaying a variety of product row by row. They excel in porn videos and toys, covering a wide selection of both, including everything from hardcore porn and instructional videos to discreet and full-body sex toys. HSC is LGBT-friendly and caters to Montrose’s gay community.

Toys: 4.5 Adult Films: 5 Body Oils & Lubricant: 3.5 Costumes: 4 Novelty: 3

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Information and referrals Dynamic programming Friendly hangout. All genders welcome Social Event: - Take Back the Night Rally and March - The Vagina Monologues • Free Safer Sex Supplies

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Visit at Student Center North, Room N 201 Email us at wgrc@uh.edu Call us 832.842.6191 Like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/UHWGRC Visit us online at www.uh.edu/wgrc

26 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Pornhub and Chill?

Let’s get real about pornography KELLY SCHAFLER Cooglife Writer

One evening, I proposed something to The Boyfriend as he sat cross-legged on the living room floor, PS3 controller in hand.

“You know what’d be an interesting thing to do tonight?” I asked, casually exiting the room to give him the opportunity to absorb the idea. “We should watch porn together.”

The thought wasn’t that far-fetched: it’s time we come clean about watching porn. The majority of men and women in the world have watched or do watch porn. This isn’t a guestimate; it’s statistically proven.

According to Pornhub’s 2015 Year in Review, there were 4,392,486,580 hours of porn viewed on its website, which, as the report pointed out, translates to 2.5 times longer than homosapiens have been on Earth.

The United States is No. 1 in per capita page views and No. 2 in terms of time spent on Pornhub, which was The Boyfriend and I’s site of choice.

Overflowing with choices of sexual preference and kinks it’s a pretty well-known website — especially to Americans, who on average spend just less than 10 minutes per trip to the site.

Female viewership has also been on the rise, which means it’s time to embrace the human affinity for visual stimulation and just roll with it. Why not watch porn with your partner?

Odds are both people watch porn already, so might as well make it a date night.

While there is certainly no right way to watch pornography, I can say confi-

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dently The Boyfriend and I didn’t start with the most conventional method of getting each other in the mood.

Instead of drifting toward BDSM, lesbians or threesomes, we spent approximately 30 minutes watching hilarious porn bloopers.

Think American’s Funniest Home Videos, but with semen.

Since neither one of us had watched porn with a partner before, this was the perfect mixture of familiarity and sexuality to help ease us into it.

To say it still wasn’t mildly awkward in the beginning would be a lie, as it consisted mostly of us saying, “So, uh, what do you like to watch when you’re on your own?”

But like any new experience with a sexual partner, talking through the weirdness to find out what you are both comfortable with is a necessity.

It’s smart to ask your partner what he or she specifically likes about the video to see what can be incorporated into you and your partner’s sex life.

After my experience watching porn with The Boyfriend, solo time still has

its perks, but watching porn with a partner can be a fun, game-changing experience. However, there are some things to remember before to ensure ultimate safety and sexy-time.

A lot of the people in the videos are professional actors who are experts in extending their legs far behind their head. If you are not known for flexibility, don’t push your boundaries. Leg cramps are the silent, looming killer of sex drives.

Additionally, take porn for exactly what it is: a fantasy. Nothing will ever be exactly as it appears in the videos — including male and female endowment. The Boyfriend was deeply disappointed when I indicated the difference between natural and enhanced breasts shown in the videos.

I don’t believe he has forgiven me to this day.

The most important thing to remember is to just have fun and experience new things. After all, what is a healthy sexual relationship if not full of some kinks and bloopers along the way?

Tuesday, February 2, 2016 27

THE AMERICAN OBSESSION WITH PORN

52.9%

Viewers on cell phones

Favorite time to

11p.m. watch porn

1

The U.S. is the top country in per capita page views.

79.6%

Traffic from Windows OS users compared to: Mac 13% Linux 2.5% Other 4.9%

9

min.

51 sec.

Average time spent per visit -Statistics taken from 2015 PornHub Year in Review

28 Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Flick it or Ticket

Buckle up for a wild (solo) ride and learn all about female masturbation SONJA AUNE Cooglife Writer

So much goes into a person’s decision to have sex, and that decision is often influenced by religion, culture and country.

Sex is personal and is nearly always influenced by the worldview of its practitioners.

Great news, girls: the year is 2016, and sex-toy sales are topping their charts.

Lady-centered sex tips are a real thing now and each new day brings us a step closer to denaturing the enigma that is the female orgasm.

Maybe even better, women are shedding that role of passive receiver and becoming active participants in the act of sweet, sweet love-making. And now it’s time for something new — to finally lift the taboo on female masturbation.

That’s right. Now, more than ever, studies show the numerous physical and psychological benefits of taking the time to pleasure yourself.

The world is our oyster, ladies. Our

picky, complicated, little oyster.

Anthony Santella, a public health scientist at the University of Sydney, believes masturbating can help ward off cervical infections and UTIs thanks to a process known as “tenting,” in which old fluid is flushed from the tented cervix, ridding it of bacteria that cause infections.

Santella also found that masturbation improves cardiovascular health, fights insomnia and helps build a stronger, healthier pelvic floor.

About 25 percent of women consistently climax with a male partner...

While orgasm accounts for the majority of the physical benefits of masturbation, UCLA sexuality researcher Nicole Prause says that even without climax, there is a clear mood benefit to flicking the bean.

The arousal process alone acts as a stress-reliever, increasing blood flow through the body and activating areas of the brain associated with pleasure.

Contrary to the common folklore surrounding masturbation, it is a safe and healthy activity.

Regularly masturbating does not, under any circumstances, cause blindness, and even if practiced excessively, long-term physical damage to the genitals is extremely unlikely.

It is important to note, however,

FEMALE

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Tuesday, February 2, 2016 29

FEMALE

Continued from previous page that repetitive techniques can reduce your responsiveness to other types of sexual stimulation when it’s more than just you involved.

Mix things up a little, and be creative. Light a candle. Listen to some Hozier.

Though it’s safe to say that sex with yourself is a pretty dependable means of achieving orgasm, only about 25 percent of women consistently climax with a male partner, according to

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Elisabeth Lloyd’s comprehensive analysis of 33 studies involving the female orgasm.

Out of the remaining 75 percent of women, Lloyd found that about 50 percent report “sometimes” achieving orgasm, about 20 percent report “seldom” achieving orgasm and about five percent report never achieving orgasm at all during penetrative sex.

Despite these disheartening percentages, women are not inherently bad at orgasms.

While the male orgasm has been extensively researched for centuries, the female orgasm is still a bit of a

mystery.

It probably comes as a surprise to you that the clitoris, the female sexual organ responsible for achieving orgasm, looks more like a meaty wishbone than a little pinkish nub.

Take a moment to search the medical world’s first, complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitoris, provided by doctors Odile Buisson and Pierre Foldés back in 2009.

Fortunately, where science fails us, personal exploration prevails. Along with its many physical benefits, masturbating can also provide women with an intimate and individualized

understanding of whatever wets their whistle best.

Ultimately, we owe it to ourselves to own that sexual liberation, and while it’s probably true that no one can get you off better than you can, there’s no reason this intimate appreciation of yourself can’t be shared with someone else.

With enough communication, understanding, and respect, a fulfilling and dynamic sex-life is undoubtedly within reach of our outstretched fingers.

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Dear (________________), Other person’s name

I wanted to give you this letter to tell you that you are my (_____).

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cannot wait to (______) with you. Thank you so much for (verb ending verb with “ing”) with me. I could not (_____) without your (______). verb

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a (_______), but I can’t tell you everything, yet. Don’t forget to bring the noun (_______). noun I also made sure to keep my (_______) ready for when we (_____). I noun verb

know how much you (______) it. verb

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my world, and I am so (_______) when I am with you. adjective

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