Contributers

To Do or Not to Do: Hamilton Students Excel at Procrastination

Vivian Miller

In high school, I felt like the world’s best procrastinator. While my classmates were doing hours of homework a night, I was finding creative solutions to not do much at all. While avoiding my studies I wrote a full-length novel, directed a play, watched every TV show on Netflix, and slept a full eight hours a night. Although I’m sure I must have completed my assignments, I virtually have no memory of doing so during this time. I’d like to think I’ve gotten better at Hamilton, but it’s no secret that Hamilton students work hard and play hard. I’ve begun to think that what separates Hamiltonian procrastination from the procrastination of the masses is just how creative we are in our methods.

I’m sitting in the Science Center as I turn to the girl on my left. I ask her what she’s doing right now since her textbook and laptop are closed. She was in fact, with great concentration, making a meme of a squirrel. This is precisely the energy I aspire to have on a sleepy Wednesday morning. Around me, about thirty other students were staring dead-eyed at their laptops or pretending not to scroll through their phones. You know the move, laptop open but darkened, phone hidden behind it. Some are waiting in line at Fojo— a truly creative solution as it makes the people around you think that you have the intention to sit down with your coffee and study soon. I bet others think I’m doing work right now. I am not. Instead of my Literature class reading, I’m writing this article. I often think that people overestimate me. The other day a classmate said, “If Vivian Miller hasn’t done the reading then I’m fine.” I find this hysterical: I am merely a formerly gifted kid with good instincts, not good study habits. I still do not correct her.

I went around asking people what they did instead of studying when they were supposed to be. While most students admitted to a scary amount of screentime on TikTok, there were some golden highlights that are worth noting. One freshman told me that she procrastinates work by doing other work that’s due two weeks out. We really must give her points for creativity. Another student told me she procrastinates by stressing herself out checking flight prices, which is escapism if I’ve ever heard it. Another said he goes to Wikipedia and hits the random article button. This method is particularly entertaining: I just learned there’s a street named Skeldergate in York, England! I once even knew a guy who would procrastinate his actual homework by reading scholarly articles about engineering. I respect his audacity.

I think we can agree that Hamilton students are overachievers even when we’re underachieving. If we must procrastinate, we sure do it with pizzazz. But I for one think we should be a little kinder to ourselves and put all that creativity to good use. After all, why make a rushed squirrel meme when you can create a bonafide masterpiece?