The Concordian - Issue 24 (2015-03-31)

Volume 32

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Issue 24

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Independent student newspaper at Concordia University. Since 1983.

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theconcordian

March 31, 2015

News p. 4

Wilkings on the CSU’s future

Photo by Keith Race

In this issue

LIFE

p. 8

Montreal’s got Mim’s heart

ARTS

p. 11

Liberal Arts does Chekhov

MUSIC

p. 13

Wanna wiggle with Wand?

SPORTS

p. 16

OPINIONS

p. 19

Hamelin’s career Angelina and I: highlights battling BRCA1

We tell your stories. Follow us on Twitter: @TheConcordian

theconcordian.com

news //

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Write to the editor: news@theconcordian.com

CITY FREDERIC T. MUCKLE Assistant news editor

>> BIXIS AND SNOW DON T MIX

It may not look like it with the continuation of a neverending winter alternating with rain, but according to the Bixi organization and Montreal City Hall it’s almost time to get the communal bikes out. BIXI stations have started to appear in the city just ahead of the official start of the season on April 15. The biking service has had some financial and management problems in the last few years and changes in the managing structure have been made to ensure 2015 is more successful.

>> REST IN PEACE DEAR TIKI

One of Montreal’s most iconic kitsch landmarks in the Mercier – Hochelaga-Maisonneuve borough closed down last Saturday. The Jardin Tiki, a restaurant specializing in Chinese and Polynesian delicacies, was known for its astonishing collection of trinkets, oriental ornaments and turtles. Its décor and singular ambiance made this 20-year-old tiki-themed buffet a special establishment for a lot of Montrealers. As reported by Canadian Press the countless decorative gems one part of Jardin Tiki’s design may be sold at auction in the near future. Kitsch aficionados, be sure to pay attention because you sure don’t want to miss this treasure search.

Campus // NEWS

PEGIDA’s spoiled welcome Anti-immigration group’s march chased out by anti-racism protesters MILOS KOVACEVIC News editor

A modest march planned by the Montreal chapter of the German anti-islamic, anti-immigration movement PEGIDA was cancelled after hundreds of antiPEGIDA protesters came out and held their own protest instead.

The counter demonstration was organized by No One Is Illegal.

PEGIDA’s Facebook group said that the absence of security meant they had no choice but to cancel their first public appearance in the city. It was organized to take place along the so-called Little Maghreb stretch of Villeray–Saint-Michel–ParcExtension—an area predominated by Montreal’s North African population.

A German acronym standing for Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamization of the West, PEGIDA was formed in Dresden last year on a platform highly critical of what it cautions is a dangerous tolerance towards Islamists and more broadly unassimilated immigrants which it sees as dangers to German society. Since then they’ve spread to numerous countries in Europe and in the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo the group managed to organize marches attended by tens of thousands of members and supporters.

“A group that was uncontroversially fascist and racist

THE GRAND BANNER THAT FORMED THE FRONT OF SATURDAY’S ANTI-PEGIDA MARCH. PHOTO BY KEITH RACE. was attempting to have a public presence in Montreal,” said Jaggi Singh of No One Is Illegal.

“What made this particularly worse is they were trying to have this presence in a predominantly working class immigrant neighbourhood where people are targeted and marginalized in this current climate of Islamophobia.

We needed to show them they weren’t going to pass.”

He called the counter demonstration a ‘beautiful convergence of people of different backgrounds, different political stripes and views coming together to oppose Islamophobia and racism.’

“We’re talking about fascists whose political viewpoint is to assert a set of beliefs that discriminate against other people. They have the technical right to gather and we have the right to gather as well, and we weren’t going to let them pass.

We weren’t going to let them do what they were going to do,” added Singh, who said the whole ‘political class’ of Quebec denounced PEGIDA yet it was the grassroots organizations that stopped them.

When reached for comment, a PEGIDA Canada spokesperson disputed the claims and said the group was non-racist, non-facist,

>>

IRREGULARITIES REVEALED OVER PARC JEAN-DRAPEAU CONTRACTS Controversy arose this week after it was reported that Montreal’s Inspector General Denis Gallant advised the city administration to cancel or further ispect some of the contracts granted for the upcoming activities and instillations commemorating Montreal’s 375 anniversary, set to take place over the span of 2017. Gallant alleges that some of the contracts awarded were either illegal or tainted by irregularities such as favoritism. The said contracts were overseen by the Quartier International de Montreal (QIM), the same non-profit organization that oversaw other Montreal projects such as the Quartier des Spectacles.

COMMUNISTS, ANARCHISTS, RED SQUARES AND STUDENT ROTESTERS ALL MINGLED IN THE PROTEST. PHOTO BY KEITH RACE.

and non-violent. “[PEGIDA] is a grassroots organization, spread by word of mouth to concerned citizens.

Our aim is create awareness, and this is happening at this point. People that call Pegida racist/xenophobic have either been coached by the media and/or they have no idea what Pegida stands for,” the spokesman wrote.

The spokesman added: “Canada is a multicultural society, however we feel that the ideology of Islam fights against multiculturalism, as the nature of Islam is one of submission. If safeguards are not put in place, we will find ourselves in the same situation as Europe.”

The group promised it would hold more public protests in the future.

At least one supporter, though, has had his experiences soured by Saturday’s events.

“They are cowards,” said Steve Hammett, who was one of the few people who made it to the protest. He says his experiences with PEGIDA have been mostly negative and that he now believes the group is a mouthpiece for the far right.

Initially approached by Facebook, he intended to meet with like minded individuals concerned about Islamism and instead found it an organization of disorganized ‘racists’ in that ‘particular Quebec strain’ concerned more about whether French is used on their Facebook group and how widely available halal food is than protecting the pillars of western institutions like secularism and tolerance.

TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

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Campus // NEWS

Three strikes and you’re out?

Another failed general assembly highlights GSA’s widening disconnect MILOS KOVACEVIC News editor

The Graduate Student Association’s (GSA) latest general assembly last week failed for the third consecutive time to meet quorum.

Despite having enough bodies for two hours, agenda bickering and debates over anti-austerity led to little concord.

Thursday’s event was meant to pick up on the points left untouched after the last general assembly back in October, which likewise ended half-way through, after most of the room left. Since then, two general assemblies held on both campuses yielded failed attempts to meet quorum.

Even the introductory packet meant to prepare members has been unchanged since October despite new developments.

The main question—that of anti-austerity and whether the GSA should join other organizations in mandating strikes—was the main reason for the turnout, but despite the apparent solidarity little was accomplished.

An attempt to amend the motion with a follow-up assembly, should a strike happen, began a long chain of counter-amendments and questions over what could and could not be done under the current bylaws.

Frustrated or worn out, the members of the room began leaving at a steady trickle during the latter half of the proceedings, until the meeting was adjourned for insufficient quorum.

“If not for Arts and Science students present to vote in favour of the anti-austerity strike motion, then quorum would have not been met and the list of GA attendees would have been limited to only a small group mainly composed of election candidates. Who is the GSA?” asked student governor Firas Al Hammoud, who added that the standard practice of calling swift follow-up meetings to deal with unfinished agendas has not been followed this year.

Instead, months have passed between the gatherings, effectively paralyzing a group that represents the interests of over 6,000 graduate students.

Thursday’s proceedings go to the heart of the GSA’s trouble with taking action by asking two questions: for whom is the agenda, and for whom is quorum?

“There are two groups of people here [at this GA]: candidates running for election and people against austerity. Once

PLANE BARELY MAKES LANDING IN HALIFAX

Graphic by Celeste Lee

this motion would have passed, most of the people here would have left,” said Ribal Abi Raad, currently running for the position of president. “This happened in [October] when the only people attending the GA were attending because of the [last] elections. People come here with only one objective in mind and then they try to get it up there so they can be the first to leave.”

His frustration over the tactic of of ramming one’s motions to the very top of the agenda and then departing was matched by his belief that the new faces present have been

given a bitter taste of GSA politics, making them unlikely to return.

“I had to get several of my friends to come to the last GA, and afterwards they said to me ‘you just wasted two hours of my time. I’m not doing that again,’” said Raab, who was attending in part to bring attention to the budget and the need for greater financial transparency and accountability.

Clutching his papers as the room dwindled to a handful of people, Raad will most likely have to wait a few more months to be given the chance to be heard.

Campus escalators go eco-green Concordia opts to save electricity, and the planet in one fell swoop

C

oncordia’s newest green initiative, dubbed “Step Up for Earth,” was implemented without pomp, circumstance or even warning—and has riled up all sides of the environmental science debate.

As described by the university’s official Sustainability Hub page, part of Concordia’s mandate was adapted to include “saving electricity to minimize the university’s ecological footprint” and “promoting green transportation and healthy living through alternatives such as walking, taking the stairs, and if students are feeling particularly rowdy, proceeding to jog up said stairs.”

To reach this end, Concordia has decided that—for the sake of the planet, and completely unrelated to the crumbling infrastructure of the Hall building— effective immediately, all of the campus’ escalators have been

converted into traditional “ecogreen” staircases.

I, for one, compliment the university administration for taking the next step in making Concordia an environmentally-conscious institution. Frankly, the escalators were an unnecessary expense—and the new stairs have such a futuristic look that gives our campus a real cutting-edge style. The chrome steps, coupled with the rubber hand-railing, is truly avant-garde; plus, the narrow one-lane design is minimalist and effective. With two of these staircases connecting each floor, we can even cut down on unnecessary traffic by dedicating one to going up, and the other going down.

It’s a change many in the student body have been hoping for.

“We began to really get excited when we saw them randomly stopping and starting the escalators on a daily basis,” said CSU VP for Sustainability April Fowles. “Tests like that really sent the message that they meant business. If that wasn’t real com-

FREDERIC T. MUCKLE Assistant news editor

>> AIR CANADA

Campus // SPOOF

LAURA NIGHTSTAND Opinions editor

NATION

mitment to improving the way our campus runs, I don’t know what is.”

Other campus organizations have added their support to the initiative, including the Engineering and Computer Science Association (ECA). “It’s just absolutely mind-boggling how they managed to pull this off,” said Michael Poisson, an Undergraduate Engineering student. “They got the escalators out and the stairs in instantaneously. It’s like they switched them with the push of a button. I can’t wrap my head around it.”

In addition to being “green,” the move will also be better for the university financially.

“I admit that there were some up-front costs,” said Mark Folley, Chief Financial Officer for Concordia University. “I mean, we had to send a guy to all the floors—it was a mess. But now we’re saving significant moolah on electricity every day. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it’s going to be better for us long-term.”

A certain university president,

who spoke on the condition of anonymity, echoed the sentiment. “Did you see how much got slashed from our budget?

Austerity’s killing us over here,” he said, claiming his third free People’s Potato lunch of the week.

“Besides, the longer it takes those protesters to get up to my floor, the better.”

Obviously, the venture isn’t perfect (we’ve all heard of art installations abandoned on ground floor of EV by work-shy Fine Arts students). But these are simply growing pains, temporary aches and bruises as we move towards a cleaner, more sustainable future for our university. It is our duty as the next generation to support environmentally-friendly solutions wherever we can find them.

For those of you who are particularly socially conscious and wish to support local co-ops as well, The Hive now offers free water bottle refills, oxygen masks and climbing gear for those foolhardy enough to attempt to reach a class scheduled on the 12th floor.

Even if travelling by plane is still the safest way to travel, the aviation news of the last week have not been good to the world. Now that bad news has arrived on Canadian soil.

An Air Canada plane crash landed last Sunday at Halifax’s Stanfield International Airport after the plane skidded for more than 300 meters before stopping. The plane, which took off from Toronto, was transporting 138 people including the five crewmembers. Twentythree passengers were allegedly brought to the hospital but none suffered critical injuries.

Air Canada spokespeople confirmed that the conditions in which the plane tried to land at were clouded by heavy snow and suffered from icy conditions, but were otherwise safe.

>> FUTURE SHOP HAS NO FUTURE

Future Shop has announced it is closing down 66 of its stores in Canada and will be rebranding 65 others into Best Buy locations. This closing follows the announced closing of 14 Sony stores earlier in the year and show a transitioning brick-and-mortar electronics market with shrinking profit margings that is having a difficult time competing with online sellers. As reported by CBC news, about 500 full-time job and 1000 part-time jobs will be lost as a result. The Future Shop brand was born in 1982.

Best Buy bought the company in 2001 in a $580-million deal.

>> NO MORE GUN REGISTRY FOR QUEBEC

The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that Stephen Harper’s federal government had the right to destroy Quebec long-gun registry data. This is the end of a long legal battle between the federal and provincial governments to determine if Quebec could save the accumulate data. It started in 2011 when the Harper government tabled the Ending the Long-Gun Registry Act, a law that was passed in 2012. Lise Thériault, the Minister of Public Security in the Couillard government, confirmed after the decision was announced that the present Quebec government will be starting its own registry to palliate to the lost of the federal data.

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Campus // NEWS

WORLD FREDERIC T. MUCKLE Assistant news editor

>> GIGANTIC

ASTEROID IMPACT DISCOVERED IN AUSTRALIA A new discovery in Australia has unearthed the planet’s biggest meteor crater. At around 400 kilometers in diameter trumps the previous record holder, South Africa’s Vredefort crater, by nearly 100 kilometers. It’s unclear when the gigantic space rock actually hit the planet as the evidence has mostly been eroded and swallowed by the Earth’s tectonic forces, but the estimate is somewhere around 300 million years ago. It is believed the crater was created when an immense asteroid split in two 10 kilometer-large pieces upon entry into the atmosphere. It was discovered by researchers working on a geothermal project.

>> ONE DEAD IN CLASH BETWEEN TWO MEN AND NSA OFFICERS The incident occurred Monday when officers at the U.S. National Security Agency (NSA) headquarters shot at a car occupied by two men who tried to ram their way into the Fort Meade facility.

As reported by the media the two men were allegedly dressed as women and were driving a stolen car when officers ordered them to stop. Refusing to comply with the order, they continued driving and rammed a police car. One of the men is now dead and the other is reported to be hurt. An officer was also said to be hurt due to the collision but othewise in stable condition. The FBI is currently investigating.

>> NIGERIAN ELECTION CLOSEST IN YEARS The people of Nigeria, Africa’s biggest economy, participated in last weekend’s presidential elections. The campaign pitted Goodluck Jonathan, 57, who has been Nigeria’s president since 2010, against Muhammadu Buhari, a 72-year-old ex-general. So far, the results put the two candidates very close, with a small 20,000-vote gap. Warnings of possible electoral fraud have been raised, but officials from a number of monitoring organizations, including the Nigeria Independent National Electoral Commission, have said no signs of interference have been observed.

Fear of post-election violence has caused the African Union to stress the legitimacy of the democratic process and to call for support behind whichever candidate wins.

A Q&A with Terry Wilkings Next year’s president talks to The Concordian about the CSU’s ambitions MILOS KOVACEVIC News editor

The Concordia Student Union’s (CSU) 2015 General Elections came to an end last week with a unanimous win by the Community Action slate and the passing of all referendum questions save the proposed hikes to the dental plan.

The Concordian sat down with current VP Academic and Advocacy Terry Wilkings, who is set to become the president in June, to talk about the plans his team has for the future of the CSU. The Concordian: Now that you’ve been elected, what are your main priorities?

Terry Wilkings: Our platform surrounded many of the projects we worked on this year. Our team is very cohesive and we have a common vision. This is a very creative set of individuals who are very eager to begin utilizing the CSU’s resources towards this vision. The VP Sustainability and Loyola are very excited to continue the work that’s been started on the Greenhouse and MP Academic and Advocacy Marion Miller wants to get her hands on the day care project and make sure it’s successful. VP Internal Lori Dimaria communicated from the very beginning that Reggie’s would be hers. I myself want to continue working on the student housing.

C: You also spoke about a debt survey for students. Tell us more about this.

TW: This is a survey to chart the financial anxieties students are facing. I believe the CSU should improve the living conditions of students and a way we can do that is strategically tackling elements of debt. What we’re trying to answer is what the negotiables and non-negotiable forms of student debt are, like tuition. There are others that we have more agency over, like food costs and rent.

C: The idea of food seems to be an important one to your team.

Why? TW: A lot of the campaigns in the last few years have revolved around the idea of food sovereignty and localizing food production, more sustainable both financially and nutritionally. I’m talking about a closed loop system where the food is being produced on campus and distributed on campus to be consumed on campus in a non-profit manner.

The greenhouse is an attempt to essentially close that loop.

C: What other initiatives are you considering to reduce student debt?

TW: Textbooks are a large cost students have to face so is there potential to create a clandestine sharing network for textbooks and perhaps we can do some lobbying within the university to try and recognize this factor of debt.

There are many other ways and once we have the quantities and empirical data, we can start authoritatively speaking to these issues with the university.

C: Speaking of the housing co-op are there any updates since its referendum prioritization by the student body?

TW: Marguerite Mendell, a well renowned academic on the social economy and winner of the Prix du Québec, was approached during the elections campaign and agreed to sit on the board of the Popular University Student Housing (P.U.S.H.) fund as a community member. We will be able to leverage her expertise to ensure the direction taken by this fund is one that’s successful and appropriate given the existing political situation to student housing in Quebec. I’m very excited about this.

C: You’ve got a lot on your plate.

How much of your housing initiative is being helped along by the university administration?

TW: I’m not afraid for the students to take full credit for the student housing initiative. There hasn’t been much support from the university for student housing. Obviously they’ve expanded the Grey Nun’s residence, however there are systemic problems with residences where you’re kicked out after the first year regardless of if you want to leave or not; there are meal plans. It’s not within a list of their priorities. In the realm of student housing the university is very inward-looking.

Projects like these are attempting to reverse the trends of gentrification. It’s very important to know our initiatives aren’t just putting dollars in the pockets of students.

It’s also about reimagining the relationship students have with their living environment. We’re removing the landlord from the equation to give students the ability to realize their own aspirations.

C: Do you think the CSU’s role as student representative sometimes puts you at odds with the administration?

TW: I think it’s important for the students to work with the university when our visions align. I know for example that the university has done a lot for sustainabil-

TERRY WILKINGS WILL BECOME THE CSU PRESIDENT COME SUMMER. ity, but things can always get better. Who’s Concordia ultimately responsible for at the end of the day? Ultimately it’s the society that we’re a part of that’s financing the university. We should be cautious of the potential predation of private and corporate interests in the university.

C: How will your term as president tackle austerity?

TW: Austerity [protests] won’t have died down [by the Fall], but it’s hard to say. April and May will be indicators to how the summer and fall will be for mobilizing for protests and strikes. It’s important to reach out to other labour and community groups if we want to build a broader movement against these cuts.

There will be many opportunities to discuss escalation.

tion?

TW: There’s a social strike taking place beyond students. That’s something I feel is necessary because the Couillard government is in power for the foreseeable future. We need to have a level of mobilization that hasn’t been seen. It needs to be bigger than what happened in 2012. This is the level of mobilization desired by folks who want to see change.

C: The CSU has an unfortunate history of financial mismanagement. How do we go forward with this in making sure it never happens again?

TW: If we’re talking about austerity, you cannot go without talking about the environment.

The subsidies the provincial and federal governments are extending to companies are being bankrolled through cuts to public services and I find this unacceptable and its egregious its continuing.

Intellectually it’s become a consensus that we need to transform our society in a country that’s not dependant on the petrostate and its importance the university became a vector of this change. We need to reevaluate our goals and how we measure success in the economy.

TW: This year the CSU’s financial framework has been in transition. At the end of last year there was an adoption for restricted fund accounting to be used internally, which means budgets are allocated to each budget line at the start of each year and you cannot move finances from one budget to another. It’s almost like having separate streams. The largest cost we have each year is orientation, and this year it cost $150,000 as opposed to two years ago, when it was $225,000.

Because we can now tie in our fee levy with inflation it will go a long way to alleviating the financial necessities that come with having the largest overhead costs of any student association on campus. This is going to ensure long-term financial stability and we’ll have a very clear idea of where our money is going to.

It makes us less flexible but in a responsible sense.

C: What could you see yourself getting behind in terms of escala-

This Q&A has been edited and condensed for flow and length.

C: Another topic high on your list is environmentalism. How does this fit in with your other goals?

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City // NEWS

Anti-austerity protest ends in an arrest Riot police put an end to the second nighttime march of the year that took place March 27

ANDREJ IVANOV Assistant photo editor

W

hat seemed to be a relatively peaceful protest at first ended abruptly when riot police engaged the students by deploying pepper spray, tear gas, and stun grenades to break up the march on March 27.

Protesters met with riot police at Dominion Square during Friday’s march after the protest was deemed illegal, an hour after it started. The riot police was sent in to split up and disperse the thousands of protesters that gathered. Police officers later kettled in three small groups of protesters around Ste. Catherine St. and got them to disperse as well. According to the Montreal Gazette, one arrest has been confirmed for assault of an officer.

It was the second altercation protestors and the SPVM had, the first one happening on the corner of Union St. and Ste. Catherine St. The march stopped in the middle of the intersection, with a group of people facing off and taunting officers with a police tape.

One man was seen wearing a pig’s mask. The scuffle ended as fast as it started, with police officers pepper-spraying the crowd and the crowd pushing into them, but finally stepping back.

Photos by Andrej Ivanov

The protesters then doubled back towards Bleury St and Ste. Catherine St. The protest, named “Ostie de Grosse Manif de Nuit: Prise Deux,” started peacefully at Parc Émilie-Gamelin, where students gathered to start the second night protest in their fight against austerity measures.

Many crowded around the entrance of the Berri-UQAM met-

ro station, chanting and playing music. As protesters gathered to start the march, the protest was deemed legal, as long as the direction of traffic was obeyed.

When SPVM officers made the announcement, the crowd met it with jeering and curses, voicing their disgust with the police.

They even went as far as to start yelling in french: “No cops in our protests!”

Protesters marched, chanting and singing through the streets of Montreal. One of those chants, translated from french, was: “We stole nothing! You steal lives!”

The chant, directed at police, is a new twist on the protesters’ previous chant. It mirrors the motto of the public syndicates protest against cuts in their retirement funds. The march snaked through the streets, winding

across Montreal’s downtown core, sometimes following the direction of traffic, and other times walking amongst the cars.

At times, drivers were honking, and cheering the protesters on, showing support of their cause.

Montreal has seen many protests in the last week, and many more are scheduled, including one on Saturday and a major march on April 2.

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City // SPOOF

Murder of Martin O’Fluff incites ‘strike’ Protesters announce ‘day of rage’ in wake of brutal squirrel slaying in Notre-Dame-de-Grâce MATTHEW CEVICHE Assistant opinions editor

Montreal’s Notre-Dame-deGrâce neighbourhood saw its first stand-your-ground killing, a controversial element of self-defence law, earlier this month.

The incident was under reported in mainstream media because of the marginalized nature of the victim, but recent developments—demonstrations and inflammatory comments from the victim’s friends and family—cannot be ignored.

Martin O’Fluff was killed by a deliberately placed snaptrap set up on the doorstep of his unauthorized sublet. He didn’t see it because he was a squirrel.

When Devin McNutter, a local squirrel and friend of the victim, was asked why he was striking, he said, “We’ve given so much to this community and have put up with a lot of grief over the years. Have you seen the dogs some people bring to the parks?” McNutter and other supporters have unilaterally decided to no longer frequent the parks in the area. Supporters believe that this pressure

tactic, targeting small children and the elderly, will force a much needed conversation on affordable housing.“There’s no rent control on trees, so he was getting gouged,” said McNutter.

As to why NDG’s squirrel population voted to strike, a rep for the O’Fluff family had this to say: “Marty was doing his best by his family, and just wanted them to be warm. That’s why we’re staying out of the parks—respect’s what the squirrels want, not discount peanuts.” The rep began outlining a blueprint for a so-called squirrel liberation movement but broke out in unintelligible squeaks and chitters, presumably from either excited or rage.

We tried to reach the O’Fluff family for comment but they were unavailable, having run up a tree in fear of our photographer’s flash.

“It just went too far this time,” said another area rodent, “I mean, we mice are used to this sort of vitriol but it’s sad to see it spilling over and affecting our bushy-tailed cousins.”

Others on the picket line said they were uneasy about the local cat presence, especially in light of their denied

request for police protection.

Some demonstrators suggested that the time and place of the protest may have been leaked to the felines by O’Fluff’s kill-

ers, for the purpose of intimidation.

No formal charges have been laid as of yet because the squirrel community is terrified

of cats and have not been able to cross the street since protests began. They’re also quite skittish and known for running up trees when startled.

Campus // SPOOF

Student strike or performance art?

Activists told to tone down anti-austerity rhetoric and simply enjoy the show MILOS COPACETIC News editor

Concordia’s anti-austerity movement suffered a rude shock yesterday evening when they were politely informed their earnest attempts at picketing classes and facing down the state’s policies were unwelcome intrusions into what is, in fact, a staging of public art.

The emergency meeting was held late Monday night to rein in what the Fédération Etudiante Universitaire du Québec (FEUQ) called ‘overzealous affiliation’ by Montreal’s anglophone student community.

“This was originally conceived as a symbolic gesture mediated through the soothing powers of artistry,” said UQAM dance professor Louise Lorraine. “It was, how do you call it in English, danse interprétative. Is that the right word?” She then went to lecture the McGill and Concordia attendees on the wondrous performance that ostensibly pitted students versus police but depended on a beautiful collaboration between

both.

Lorraine also explained the angry chants and threatening body language were carefully-coached performances, a “delicately calibrated dance” and example of art imitating life. She was referring to the 2012 tuition hike student protests that racked the province.

“Imagine our surprise when the government called us with reports that some were taking things a bit too earnestly, maybe even expecting another 2012.” She said her team’s initial confusion sorted itself when they studied footage of the performances and found outsider groups hopping on the proverbial bandwagon.

The revelation was accepted with disbelief by both Concordia Student Union (CSU) and Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) executives present.

“But what about the tear gas, the kettling, the honking drivers, the sheer mobilization?” bewildered CSU President Ben Prunty was heard to have said. “I thought Quebec was on the move.”

“We take our art very seriously,” shrugged the FEUQ representative who volunteered to let them in on the loop. “Have you seen

the Plateau lately?” He praised UQAM’s fantastic costume design on its snazzy recreation of anarchist paraphernalia and Communist flags.

Asked after the meeting about what would happen now, Prunty seemed at a loss for words.

“How am I going to explain this to the students?

And our philosophy department? That genie’s out of the bottle, man.”

“I’m not happy in knowing we spent all that time on the signs for nothing,” he added, but admitted he was slowly coming around to the idea: “I’ve seen theater in my day but this, this is art.”

Not everyone was appreciative towards the scale and complexity of the feat.

“This is bullshit. I moved from the West Coast and came here to protest the erosion of the social safety net,” said forlorn CSU VP Academic and Advocacy Terry Wilkings. “When I’m presi-

dent next year, I’ll make it my chief goal to overturn the existing neo-liberal order and usher in the democracy of the streets.”

“Honest to goodness I don’t know how this could have devolved so quickly,” said Lorrain.

“We sent them the memo all the way back in February.”

She said it may have had something to do with the language divide.

“Maybe their French isn’t so good.”

POLICE

Graphic by Michelle Gamage

life

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Write to the editor: life@theconcordian.com Lecture // LIFE

Feminism, Polytechnique, and Jian Ghomeshi Francine Pelletier and Sue Montgomery on the evolution of women’s rights NATHALIE LAFLAMME Editor-in-chief

“Women have made great strides since my generation took to the streets four decades ago. Laws were changed, discrimination was banned, women became a vital part of the job market and the economy, and of course the education system. And yet violence against women continues as if none of this had ever happened.”

The evolution of feminism, violence against women, rape, inequality, and hyper sexualization were just some of the topics Montreal-based journalist and feminist activist Francine Pelletier covered in her talk on Friday night. The talk, entitled “Breaking the silence 25 years after École Polytechnique: women, violence and media,” began with a speech by Pelletier, followed by a question period moderated by prominent Montreal-based journalist Sue Montgomery, one of the women who began the #BeenRapedNeverReported campaign.

Pelletier began her talk by showing the crowd some golden moments in feminism from over the last six months: Patricia Arquette discussing wage inequality during her Oscars speech, Emma Watson speaking about the “He for She” campaign at the United Nations, and the viral video of a woman being harassed as she walks through the streets of New York City.

She then spoke of what these events and videos mean for feminism.

“You see this and you think one of two things. A) wow: feminism is back. or B) for the more pessimistic amongst us, why are women still fighting for equal rights?

Why are women still being harassed on the street? I think that the situation today contains a little bit of both.”

Pelletier then spoke about a horrific event, one that marked its 25th anniversary this year: the Montreal Massacre. On Dec. 6, 1989, Marc Lépine walked into École Polytechnique armed with a rifle and a hunting knife, entered a classroom, separated the men from the women, and shot all of the nine women in the class. Six of them died. He then went on a murderous rampage around the school, killing a total of 14 women. “[Lépine] always made sure, and this is the particularly chilling aspect of this tragedy, to kill only women, going so far as to tell men to get out of the way,” Pelletier said.

Pelletier spoke of the denial that came after the killing spree—the fact that no one, including the media, seemed to want to admit that Lépine was targeting women. An article from Quebec City’s Le Soleil went as far as to say that the attack had nothing to do with women. Pelletier expressed that no headlines labelled attack as sexist, even though she was sure that, had someone targeted black people instead of women, headlines everywhere would have read “racist attack.”

Photo by Nathalie Laflamme

According to Pelletier, it took 25 years as long as the threat of sexual and domestic before everyone agreed that the Montreal violence persists.”

Massacre had been an attack against womThe Jian Ghomeshi scandal was a topic en. that came up quite often in the talk. PelleToday, it is unpopular to believe that tier explained that this scandal was in fact there is still a lot that needs to be accom- a good thing, as it brought a lot of attenplished when it comes to women’s ad- tion to an issue that is still taboo: sexual vancement. She stated that although a violence. Pelletier said that the Ghomeshi huge number of women are present and scandal may prove a turning point in terms excelling in universities, these statistics do of violence against women, as it showed not transfer to the work force. that the violence in question is often in a “I too have found that there is a gap grey zone. between how far women have come, their Pelletier then spoke of hyper-sexualizaplace today in the world, how they present tion, which we see everyday in advertising. themselves, and how they feel about them- According to her, second-wave feminism, selves. I call it the “inner Jello,” Pelletier which was about women reclaiming their said. “There is a hesitance, a self doubt, and bodies, had a hand in this. In fact, it was the I include myself in this, that is hanging on marketing world’s response to the women’s despite four decades of feminism. Why is liberation movement. this? Is it just that it takes a really long time So what is the good news? for what you think, and what you say to “Patricia Arquette saying what she did be on the same on oscar wavelength, or night, and Women will never be is there someEmma Watequal as long as the thing else holdson going to threat of sexual and ing women the United domestic violence back?”

Nations, persists.

According to and a young Pelletier, there w o m a n have been two -Francine Pelletier making sure major obstacles people know to women’s what it’s like emancipation in the last 25 years: violence to walk in [her] shoes. It’s acknowledging against women, and hyper-sexualization. that we’re not there yet, that much more “I think that violence against women has to be done, and hell yes, we’re ready to is the Western world’s dirty little secret. go the extra mile,” she said.

By secret, I mean shoved to the margins, Pelletier then moved from the podium to and not taken seriously. Why? Because it sit down with Sue Montgomery and answer puts into question the great promise that all a few questions. Montgomery asked Pelleof us hold dear: that men and women are tier about pornography and sexual educameant to find each other, love and better tion in schools, to which Pelletier replied each other,” Pelletier said. “And it’s a great that pornography was very much a part of dream. It’s also a means of constant intimi- the sexual violence problem, as it is teachdation towards women, a way of keeping ing both boys and girls that violence is just them down. But women will never be equal a part of sex.

Montgomery then asked why it is that feminism is no longer considered a bad word. Pelletier explained that the ‘90s were a bad time for social movements. It seemed that people only wanted to go to the gym (this drew quite a laugh from the audience).

Women did not want to follow the generation before them. But now, she explained, there is a new generation of women, one that wants to change the world, a generation that is angry. According to her, women like Beyoncé and Watson are also affecting the change and making feminism popular again.

Another topic that came up was the media’s coverage of sexual assault. This lead Pelletier to ask Montgomery about #BeenRapedNeverReported. Following the Jian Ghomeshi scandal, Montgomery launched the Twitter campaign which, in the first 48 hours, had been used over 8 million times.

Pelletier stated that she had not seen such a denunciation in over 30 years.

“What would a list look like if we compiled all the names of the women who had been raped and never reported it? I thought that list would stretch around the world, which in fact it did,” Montgomery explained.

Montgomery also asked what women could do to help men understand feminism.

“Women have to demystify feminism, that it’s not this big, bad thing, that it’s not about hating men, it’s about understanding how the world works, and how women are still disadvantaged in so many ways,” Pelletier said. “I think that men who love women will get it. So, maybe love is the answer.”

“You have to say that you’re not going to sabotage yourself. You have to believe in yourself. It doesn’t overcome that easily, it takes time. It’s treating yourself well, and thinking you’re worth it,” Pelletier said.

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015 Food // LIFE

Maison Sociale does it all, and does it well New Mile End haunt has a little something for everyone SARA BARON-GOODMAN Life editor

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he Mile End’s newest hideaway is many things: a coffee spot by day, bar/restaurant at night, and bruncherie on the weekend, it also has a live radio room. Maison Sociale is like that person who always seems effortlessly cool and put-together, but who in reality spent five hours thinking up and perfecting every detail of their look for that “I woke up like this” vibe.

This new hotspot is highly conceptual: every minor detail about the place oozes meticulous detail, made to evoke an air of exclusivity without being pretentious.

Even the name, Maison Sociale, conjures up a private club. In fact, they do offer membership—but thus far it’s free, and entails nothing more than signing up to their email list—which gives VIP patrons special perks like members-only cocktail classes and coffee tastings.

Maison Sociale is the collective effort of seven partners, including David Schmidt (Montreal restauranteur behind such hotspots as Mais, Datcha, Le Mal Necessaire, and Thazard). Also on the team are James Benjamin, who will be running the radio and music program, and Philip Tabah, founder of themainmtl. com, who will be charged with creating a culture-centric blog and social media presence to be diffused to members. Each

partner has their own specialty niche, creating a polished collective space better than the sum of its parts.

The menu, which was still under construction as of their soft opening last weekend, is equally well thought out. For lunch, only one plat du jour is offered, and changes according to the chef’s whim. The dinner menu, composed of half-sized portions of entrees, is French cuisine with a twist. For those like myself who are perplexed at how exactly to quantify a half-portion, each plate is somewhere in between an appetizer and a main course—ideally, two people would share four to five plates.

My dining companion and I each started with a bowl of sweet onion soup, topped with crispy shallots and sprigs of fennel. The soup was creamy, almost like

an onion bisque rather than a traditional french onion soup. It was velvety in texture, with the fennel adding a surprising herbal freshness. I never would have paired fennel with creamy onion soup, and while the mix of flavours was jarring at first, it all somehow married well together.

For the main course we shared three dishes: the beef tartare, with a side of fried clams and a horseradish sauce, beef cheeks on potato gratin with brussel sprouts, and coq au vin done bourguignon-style in a crockpot of wine-marinated root vegetables and lardons. The coq au vin was the uncontested winner; the chicken was tender and moist, and pulled off the bones with ease. The wine sauce was flavourful, and soaked the meat and veggies in a full-bodied sweetness. The

HALF-SIZED PLATES OF BEEF TARTARE, COQ AU VIN, AND ONION SOUP ARE PERFECT FOR SHARING TAPAS-STYLE. PHOTO BY ANDREJ IVANOV.

tartare was diced with bits of tomato, and seasoned with the classic combination of salt, pepper, and oregano. The presence of tomato garnered mixed reviews between my date and I—I thought it gave a freshness to the dish, but he was not a fan. The fried clams were the shining star, though might have been more successful as their own separate dish. The beef cheeks were perhaps slightly overcooked, though not offensively so—the dish was all-in-all good, but could have benefitted from a sauce to cut the dryness of the meat.

The drinks menu was even more extensive than the food, featuring a fair selection of house specialty cocktails, wines, beers, and spirits. The cocktails were well done, inventive takes on classics.

While the food and drinks were great, the atmosphere is the real reason to pay this spot a visit. The decor could be described as Wes Anderson meets gentleman’s club meets 1940s lodge meets hipster-urban haunt. The waiters were all bearded and bedecked in plaid, and a DJ spun live music from the Green Room Radio room (named after the restaurant that previously occupied the space) into the restaurant and onto the airwaves of their live show. Even during the soft opening the small space was packed and lively. Sitting across from each other at a small round table made of beautifully lacquered wood, I had to raise my voice in order to have an audible conversation with my companion.

Maison Sociale is located at 5386 St-Laurent Blvd. Main courses run between $5 and $12, and cocktails between $10 and $15.

Column // LIFE

Mim meets Montreal: there’s no place like home Episode 17: In which Mim hangs her hat here MIM KEMPSON Staff writer

“Home” is a strange word. For one, it doesn’t even translate to French. “Chez moi” and “chez toi” aren’t quite the same as home. Secondly, it means different things for everyone. I used to think that home is where family is, where there’s a safe landing nest. But with half my family and friends on opposite sides of Australia, this definition doesn’t suffice.

I’ve also been thinking, when does it come time to call a place home? Is it when you receive paperwork to confirm your stay? Stability is definitely a criteria. Is it when you’re able to walk into your favourite local café without ordering a coffee and the baristas serve you the “regular” anyway? Familiarity is another, especially when you befriend the staff.

Perhaps it’s when you’ve learnt the city’s colloquial swear words or when you start to complain about the convoluted route of the 51 bus. Maybe it’s when you know to buy your fruit and vegetables from Jean-Talon Market and your packaged goods from P.A. Supermarket. Sharing the natives’ frustrations and also knowing the domestic secrets to an economical way of

life may offer reason.

When I went to a friend’s family abode in Dollard, a suburb deep in the outskirts of Montreal, I realised how much I’d missed dinner. Dinner, as in: a sit-down dining experience with real food cooked with love rather than the peanut-butteron-toast sentimentality of a full-time student. Never underestimate the value of a home-cooked meal. I left the house with

two things: the feeling that I could go into hibernation and a hoard of winter gear.

When my friend’s mom looked at me with the concerned “I hope she’ll survive the winter” look that I’d become accustomed to, I knew that a sense of support is also another part of feeling a sense of belonging.

I asked my friends and they told me what home means to them. It’s the place

where you brush your teeth most. It’s defined by the food. Montreal has bagels and poutine, why be anywhere else? It’s where you feel most comfortable and where you “hang your hat.” One told me that home is a package deal; it’s a collection of memories. I think I can safely say that the best way to summarise all our definitions is to simply say, “home is where the heart is.”

Montreal, you’ve stolen mine.

MIM AND HER BARISTA FRIENDS AT CAFE RICO, WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS HER NAME. PHOTO BY ORLANDA QUENPANILLA.

TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015 //

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Enlighten your senses and come discover what’s hidden in the dark.

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danslenoir.ca Column // SPOOF

Let’s talk about sex

New study reveals you’ve been doin’ it all wrong ANONYMOUS Life editor and Production manager

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remarkable study produced by the coitus-maximus undergrads at McGill’s School of Medicine has gained notoriety with its controversial findings. According to the study, which included the observation of 15,000 Montreal undergraduates’ sexual encounters, humans have been going about sex all wrong.

The omnibus study, which includes everything from aphrodisiacs to foreplay, cunnilingus to cuddling, has revealed that almost all commonly-held knowledge about sex actually leads to less sexual stimulation, less sexual prowess, and overall weaker orgasms.

“It was really surprising when the data first started coming in and we realized that we’ve been doing it wrong all along,” says Richard Cochrane, head researcher of the study. “We were like, ‘this can’t be right.’ And then we tried some of our new findings, and wow did it ever work. Like, wow.”

Cochrane adjusts his crooked glasses as he explains how the team went about compiling the list that, he says, “will change how we, as a species, think about sex.”

“I mean, with the test couples that we released this list to, the results spoke for themselves,” he says. “Or, the noises the couples made spoke for themselves. For several hours. Actually, three research groups were taken to the hospital to be treated for exhaustion and dehydration.

They just didn’t want to stop having sex or take a break in between. So we now have to release the list in little parts, so that it

is safer for our research groups.”

The study, Cochrane says, will be released in its entirety in April 2016.

Until then, before proper safety precautions can be implemented, the list will remain in the hands of science.

Fortunately, The Concordian has obtained a sampling of the list, of which Cochrane has approved the release.

“Couples need to remember the importance of hydration and breaks,” urges Cochrane. “Set a timer for every hour. When that timer goes off, take a 15-minute breather where both partners hydrate, stretch, and have a small protein-filled snack. Only once both partners are re-hydrated and revitalized should they get back to it.”

The Aphrodisiacs The avocado mask - full body immersion To stimulate your partner with a full-body tingling and titillating feeling, you’ll need eight ripe avocadoes.

Mash these in a large bowl and add a spritz of lime to taste. Then smear this all over your partner’s naked body.

Ideally, cover them in about a centimetre-thick layer of avocado. Then, once your partner is entirely covered in avocado, lick it off.

Oysters - not just for eating Oysters have long been known for their stimulating effects, but have been consumed all wrong. Next time you have a platter of fresh oysters in front of you don’t slurp them back. Instead, rub them all over your genitals.

Use slow, clockwise circles to ensure even coverage. Every two minutes, switch to a fresh oyster for maximum results.

L’Oral

Cunnilingus

The corkscrew

Break the norm of easy-does-it and just leap right in. Preferably refrain from any forewarning and surprise her by flinging yourself at her crotch. The rougher the better, as it gets women to move from zero to 100 km/h in 60 seconds flat. The tongue should be used as a miniature penis and inserted into the vagina itself, while moving in and out to simulate penetrative sex. The clitoris should be largely left alone to build sexual tension and nibbling on the labia is highly encouraged.

Instead of thrusting in and out, try rotating your pelvis in a corkscrewlike movement, pushing the head of your penis towards her cervix. The concentric circles against her cervix will surely be reminiscent of her most recent pap smear, and are sure to drive her wild! Once she is about to achieve orgasm, retract your penis entirely and leave her alone, or else tickle her labia with just the tip until you both reach your climax.

The chair

Fellatio Imagine the penis as a gear shift.

Take just the tip of the penis in your mouth and move it as if switching to first gear while keeping just the tip in your mouth. Breathe heavily on the penis without actually touching it before taking the tip back in your mouth and switching to the next gear. Repeat this move several times while shifting through all the gears. At sixth gear, take the balls in your mouth and hum while keeping the rest of you very still.

Humming the man’s favourite song is highly encouraged.

The Main Event Entry When it comes time to get it in, our research has found that contrary to popular belief, it is best done dry— as dry as possible. Use of lubricants and traditional foreplay to “warm up” before attempting penetration has in fact been found to hinder the process significantly. Do not take it slow—thrust in hard and, if you feel resistance, thrust harder. The sandpapery sensation of rubbing inside a dry orifice is sure to bring both partners to ecstasy—feel the burn! If, during penetration, the vagina starts to selflubricate, take a pause and wipe the vaginal walls down with a hand towel to ensure maximum dryness. This technique is especially effective when entering through the backdoor, and you won’t have to worry about that pesky self-lubrication—you’ll stay dry as the desert, and your sex will be just as hot.

In woman on top position, instead of assuming the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl pose, why not spice things up by facing out sideways, towards the wall. When your man is lying flat on his back, balance yourself on his rock-hard abs and even harder member, with both legs slung over the side of the bed, sitting in an upright position. Do not attempt to thrust, as you will surely poke yourself in the ovary with his penis if you do. Instead, revel in the closeness of using his body as a chair while also balancing a computer on your lap to get that report finished.

Multitasking is the hallmark of the modern woman. By just sitting there and not moving, intercourse is sure to last a long while, building to an eventual, mind-blowing orgasm.

The Denouement Cuddling Once you have finished, do not have him pull out. Instead, swivel around with his penis slowly growing flaccid inside of you, so that you are lying head-to-feet, legs interlocked in a scissoring position. Do not get up to go to the bathroom, throw away the condom, or clean up—keeping your junk interlocked throughout the night to marinate in your own juices will bring you closer than ever! Plus, facing in opposite directions allows you to feel intimately connected while affording both partners the liberty of checking their phones away from the other’s prying gaze, or falling asleep while watching their own favourite Netflix shows, without having to compromise.

arts

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Write to the editor: arts@theconcordian.com Film // ARTS

The Student Diaries re-examines the Maple Spring Karina Licursi’s first documentary streams online in the midst of new protests LINDSAY RICHARDSON Arts editor

March 2012: Students gather in solidarity to protest a proposed hike in tuition fees.

At times, protests turn violent and riot police use pepper spray, rubber bullets and tear gas to subdue the masses united in civil disobedience.

March 2015: Masses gather in solidarity to protest government-implemented austerity measures. At times, protests turn violent and riot police use pepper spray, rubber bullets and tear gas to subdue the masses united in civil disobedience.

In what is perhaps a case of “méchant timing,” as we say in Quebec, secondyear Concordia film production student Karina Licursi is streaming her full-length documentary film The Student Diaries on the third anniversary of the Maple Spring protests, just as the anti-austerity movement pulls ahead with furor.

“The timing is perfect, because obviously the subject is still important. A lot of the current strike feels like unfinished business from 2012,” Licursi said.

The initial inspiration struck when Licursi was sent out to cover one of the first Maple Spring protests for Dawson’s student newspaper, The Plant. For curiosity reasons alone, she went armed with her camera—a cheap Fujifilm.

“I spoke to students—both Francophone and Anglophone alike—and realized that despite language barriers, clearly this strike was far beyond tuition,” Licursi said.

While Licursi was not striking at the time, her involvement increased when the Dawson Persists group began to organize protests. She then attended them, camera in hard, to sharpen the focus on the angst and frustrations running through the student body like an electric current.

Licursi filmed most of the footage herself, aside from the international clips and news actualities. A short version of the documentary was previewed in a class before Licursi graduated at Dawson. By her account, some students in the class got emotional—tearing up and showing signs of anger.

The rest of the documentary was developed over the course of the next two years. Licursi said that she sometimes stayed up until five in the morning rattling off emails to student unions in an attempt to schedule interviews and gain some insight into the conflict.

The bilingual documentary makes use of several different visual resources: historical archival footage, coupled with professional and mobile phone footage.

When assembled, it properly captures the chaos experienced by the hundreds of thousands across Quebec took who part in the largest student protest that North America had ever seen.

According to Licursi, nothing compares

STUDENTS PUT UP A UNIFIED FRONT IN A SERIES OF DEMONSTRATIONS DURING THE 2012 MAPLE SPRING.

to the aforementioned strike that took place on March 22nd. Gathered inside of a restaurant at Place Jacques-Cartier in the Old Port, crowds gathered around a small television that was switched to local news. Helicopter footage revealed at least 200,000 protesters gathered in solidarity.

“I didn’t know whether to cry or be in shock—nothing like this had happened before. There were so many people! When I got home I listened to the song “Beautiful Day” by U2, which it really was,” said Licursi, who is still amused by the people who chose to bring their cars to the rally.

The film draws on commentary from several different parties. Among the interviewees are student group representatives, professors, Martine Desjardins, former FEUQ president and Jeanne Reynolds, former co-speaker of CLASSÉ (Coalition large de l’association pour une Solidarite Syndicale Étudiante). It makes an ample effort to recount the events of the strike, from the preliminary murmuring to the full-scale public demonstrations that were so widely publicized in the media.

However, though Licursi tries to situate and thoroughly explain the causes of the conflict, she does not push an agenda or an opinion in The Student Diaries.

She believes that the message is relative to the date of the documentary’s release.

It speaks to the obvious notion that history can—and will—repeat itself time and time again, and that social movements and struggle are as tedious as they are re-

warding.

“The problem with most social movements is people want to make a miracle and change too much at once, then they burn out,” Licursi said. “As a filmmaker, I want to remind viewers that we did succeed last time—people listened and the [tuition] hike didn’t pass, but not everything will change in one night.”

The preface of the film is the logo for Licursi’s own Carus Productions—a company that is, for a moment, only a vision for the director.

“Right now it’s just a logo at the beginning of my films, but it will eventually grow into something bigger,” Licursi said.

As she pursues her social and professional ambitions, as well as she continues to produce film content as a student, Licursi is aiming to one day pay it forward. She hopes that eventually Carus Productions will be able to provide grants for other artists who are struggling to find the means to produce their first feature.

“As someone who’s been there, I think that young directors need more support— especially in Quebec,” she said.

The Student Diaries will be streaming on Youtube on April 1st and 2nd. For more information on Carus Productions, check out their Facebook page at https://www. facebook.com/CarusProductionsKL.

STUDENTS STRIKED FOR OVER 100 DAYS FROM COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES ACROSS THE PROVINCE.

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Theatre // ARTS

The Cherry Orchard is funny and fearless The Liberal Arts College Theatre Society embraces farce in its latest production MARILLA STEUTER-MARTIN Production assistant

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nton Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard occupies a wonderful ambiguity between comedy and drama. While the early 20th-century Russian play is undeniably hilarious, the ending is unabashedly tragic. This weekend, Concordia’s Liberal Arts College Theatre Society put on a production of the play, with all the proceeds going to Literacy Unlimited.

The play was lighthearted and played into the farcical nature of Chekhov’s original text. The plot centres around a wealthy family that has fallen down on its luck and is forced to sell its estate, and the adjoining cherry orchard, to pay its debts.

The mother and uncle try to explore other options to remedy their situation, with the help of a businessminded family friend, while the possibility of romance sparks for daughters Anya and Varya. When all seems about to be resolved, hopes are dashed on all fronts and the family is left to deal with grim reality.

Running just over two hours, the show was a perfect blend of silly and serious. In particular, the scene in which the family governess furiously eats a whole cucumber while passionately delivering her monologue really set the tone for the piece early on. The cast, many of whom have relatively little acting experience, were staunchly

THE CHERRY ORCHARD FEATURES A ROSTER OF COMICAL, THOUGH NOT ENTIRELY EXPERIENCED ACTORS. PHOTO BY JOSEPHINE GAROUFALIS.

committed and unfailingly energetic.

Darragh Khaleesi-Mondoux stood out as the family matriarch who is deeply affected by the bittersweet nostalgia of leaving her childhood home for the last time. The simplistic set design worked well with the atmosphere of Espace Notre-Dame, with its hardwood floors and antique fireplaces.

The production was preceded by

a short play by Neil Labute, entitled Coax. The 15-minute one-act tells the modern story of a couple who meet for the first time following weeks of online messaging. What starts out as a commentary on the audience-actor relationship then turns dark as the narrator indicates her intentions towards the other character. The short two-person play was meant to break

the fourth wall and force the audience to question the barriers between reality and fiction—but ultimately failed to strike the right cord, leaving the audience feeling unconvinced, if a little unsettled.

The Cherry Orchard, however, hit all the right notes for an amateur production; it’s funny, spirited and it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Campus // SPOOF

Bathroom graffiti is a “cultural phenomenon” Preservation efforts to be implemented on Concordia’s campuses

eventually going to make in telecommunications?”

Shio demands that the university enforce higher security measures in its bathrooms, including security guards

and camera monitoring. He is also organizing a gluten-free bake sale to cover the cost of the installation of glass plates over existing pieces.

Shio’s motivation is unshakeable: “It

is my intent, no—it is my mandate as president of FAPS to ensure that a student’s experience in the bathroom is as culturally enriching as a trip to a museum.”

RICHARD LINDSAYSON Arts editor

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he president of Concordia’s Fine Arts Preservation Society (FAPS), Phil A. Shio, has issued a statement calling for the university to protect and preserve “sacred” works of bathroom graffiti.

Shio claims that bathroom scrawl of all types is a necessary form of artistic and cultural expression.

“Reading bathroom graffiti is an enlightening and revealing experience,” Shio writes, “and with proper care and preservation, I hope that my colleagues of the future can examine and analyze works of stall-side art in the same way that our forefathers studied the cave paintings of prehistoric man.”

Shio believes that bathroom graffiti is indicative of our generation’s perspective on the world—from documenting dating trysts or anatomically incorrect drawings of penises, to bigger things, like the potential future dissolution of the 514 area code.

“If people don’t see pieces like ‘call this number for a good time,’ how would they ever acknowledge the strides we’re

SAMPLES OF THE ARTWORK TO BE PRESERVED LOCATED IN THE CC BUILDING LADIES’ WASHROOM NEAR THE G-LOUNGE. PHOTOS BY LINDSAY RICHARDSON.

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Theatre // ARTS

A spectacular opening of The Envelope Vittorio Rossi’s play showcases artistic vision and conflict JULIA BRYANT Staff writer

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acked full of bright characters and big personalities, The Envelope was a wonderful glimpse into the life of theatre and film industry workers.

The premiere at the Centaur Theatre was a firecracker of a show. The play is Montreal playwright and director Vittorio Rossi’s 10th to be produced at the Centaur, opening on March 26th to a full house with an energetic crowd.

It is never easy, in theatre, to make the audience feel as though they’re peering in on a private moment. Yet, that is exactly what Rossi did with The Envelope, providing the audience with that feeling of trust, intimacy, and secrecy.

This play centres around an Italian playwright, who is considering two offers for the film rights to his newest play, Romeo Rises. One offer is from a Canadian filmmaker who can give him a large amount of money up front. In Rossi’s world, the Canadian film industry is somewhat notorious for taking original scripts and twisting them into something different from the playwright’s intentions. The counter-offer is from an indie filmmaker in Los Angeles who can’t offer the same budget, but has connections

VITTORIO ROSSI’S PREMIERE OF THE ENVELOPE FEATURED AN ARRAY OF COLORFUL AND CONNIVING FILM INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS.

to large companies and the potential for bigger audiences.

The set consisted of a cozy Italian restaurant and the street that runs in front of it. The restaurant was warm, beautifully decorated, and felt familiar. The lighting design, as it always seems to be at the Centaur, was exquisite. It created a welcoming vibe in the restaurant as well as a delicate evening glow in the street.

The characters in the show were lively and captivating, but two actors in particular stood out in this performance. Tony Calabretta, who played restaurant owner Franco, portrayed a down-to-earth, nononsense Italian man who came across very honestly. Calabretta’s energy and passion really brought the character to life.

The other bright point in the cast was Shawn Campbell, who played Andrew, one of the actors in Romeo Rises. Andrew’s character is a pretty typical stage actor (“ac-TOR!” as is said in the play) who loves his work, complains about everything, and adores himself. Campbell brought so much to the role without overdoing it. Everything from the way he walked, the way he interacted with other characters, and the way he shaped his words was perfectly placed. He managed to make Andrew a fun character without being so conceited that the audience was unavoidably annoyed with him.

The script itself was quite well-written. The language sparkled throughout the show, and the exchanges between characters were conversational and genu-

ine. Rossi also wove some things into the script to make it self-aware but, again, without overdoing it. The playwright character makes reference to the set he envisions for the play Romeo Rises, which consists of an Italian restaurant with a visible street in front (sound familiar?)

The Envelope is a fascinating view of the professional art world. It’s a must-see for anyone who is interested in the Canadian film industry or aspires to work professionally in any art business. The show asks a lot of questions about the way our country supports its artists, and that’s an important message that should be heard.

The Envelope is being staged at the Centaur theatre until April 19th.

Film // ARTS

Get Hard is a limp comedy for Hart and Ferrell Ethan Cohen’s new movie perpetuates gay panic, racism and off-colour jokes

Exhibit // ARTS

KATHERINE D’ADAMO Contributor

A

n alleged match made in comedy heaven, Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart portray some very offensive unconventional characters. A warning to all viewers: if you do not care to see a flash image of male genitals, this film may not be for you.

Ethan Cohen’s directorial debut Get Hard plays with fire when it comes to its representation of race, homophobia and socioeconomic class in America. Although the screenwriter has been praised for his work on Tropic Thunder and Idiocracy, he has received a lot of negative press for this particularly racy R-rated comedy.

“I think the litmus test of doing an edgy movie is to be able to take it just to the edge where people start to get offended. That’s what makes it, I think, effective as a satire,” Cohen told BuzzFeed.

Ferrell plays James King, a genius hedge fund manager who wakes up to do naked yoga sessions in front of his Latino house workers with a young and beautiful fiancée (Alison Brie) by his side in their Bel Air mansion. After being convicted for financial fraud and sentenced to 10 years in a maximum-security prison, King offers $30,000 to his car washer, Darnell Lewis (Hart), to help him “get hard” 30 days prior to beginning his prison life. Apparently the only black man King knows, Lewis is assumed to be an

ETHAN COHEN’S RAUNCHY FILM STARS FIRST-TIME COLLABORATORS AND TROUBLEMAKERS WILL FERRELL AND KEVIN HART.

ex-convict because of his race. In reality, Lewis is a family man with not so much as a parking ticket. Nevertheless, Lewis plays this stereotypically constructed role to earn some needed cash.

This leads to a series of racist and homophobic jokes, combined with scenes of King picking fights with hefty strangers in the park, a prison riot re-enactment in his mansion and impersonations of the stereotypical Latino, black and gay men that King might encounter in prison. As Lewis mimics anal rape by smacking his hands together, it becomes clear that this film bases the majority of its jokes on the idea of gay panic. Ferrell breaks down in

tears before he is able to perform fellatio on a stranger in a bathroom stall of a gay bar, as Lewis orders him to do because, “when life puts a d—k in your mouth, you make d—k-ade.”

Near the end of the film, the plot becomes a question of “who done it,” as it is evident that Ferrell’s character could not have embezzled money. Despite his cultural ignorance, he is, overall, goodhearted.

On a positive note, however, the film highlights the contrast between middle and upper class America. While King performs Brazilian martial arts, Lewis teaches him how to give a guy a simple

punch to the face. Cohen pokes fun at this huge gap between American social classes: when King and Lewis visit Darnell’s gangster cousin Russell (T.I.), one of his fellow gang members makes a comment on how gangsterism isn’t so bad but, “Wall Street—that’s the real crime.”

Cohen told BuzzFeed that although the film may be offensive, his intention is to raise awareness about these issues in America by satirizing them. The film was allegedly not produced with the sole purpose of getting a few a laughs out of the audience.

Get Hard opens in theatres this Friday.

music

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Write to the editor: music@theconcordian.com

Profile // MUSIC

Waste away in Wand’s weird world The band’s frontman, Cory Thomas Hanson, finds musical inspiration in uncommon places MIA PEARSON Music editor

“We’re just four nerds, dressed in bags of skin that play until our bones fall out of our nose, you know?” -Cory Thomas Hanson But Wand is way more than a pile of musical human flesh. Like the goo from the bowels of middle earth surfacing and bubbling out from the ground; like a mutation of slimy vines multiplying and turning our manufactured goods into organic matter; like the apocalypse lifting the sun’s veil to scorch and crack the earth, Wand’s albums reflect the feeling of a world overturned. L.A. native Cory Thomas Hanson breathes weird life into his band’s two albums— 2014’s Ganglion Reef and Golum, released on March 17 via Ty Segall’s God? Records, a subsidiary of Drag City.

Ganglion Reef is not an imaginary place that Hanson visits to dig up his musical minerals, but more of an idea.

“It isn’t a place, it’s more insidious,

like an infestation, or like a disease,” he laughed. “I was thinking a lot about coral, flesh, and like skin tags... which is just like a cluster of ganglions. Just thinking, if something could just proliferate infinitely and the ganglions could just reproduce, then that would be just this giant skin machine. That was just my interpretation.”

These ideas imprint themselves onto Wand’s albums everywhere from the songs’ heavy and murky guitar sound, to Hanson’s chilling voice hanging high above the instruments stuck in the mud below. Appropriately, Golum was recorded in producer/engineer Chris Woodhouse’s The Dock Studio, located on a Sacramento port dock at a bananasorting facility—a perfect whimsical setting for the band to go bananas in.

This Sacramento neighbourhood, with its streets ambivalent in their purpose, greeted Hanson with surprise at every corner, much like Golum’s musical progression.

“It’s an interesting city, I really like it a lot there,” he said. “In that park area that I would go running, every

hundred feet, the whole scene would change. If I took a different route, I’d end up in some weird little shanty village or I would end up in some weird swamp—it’s just a wide variety, and it’s a really good place to go in between recording, for me.”

Golum emerged from the studio like an experiment gone oddly right; like a psych-rock record doubled in speed that spent a brief stint with underground well creatures. Hanson’s songwriting and aptitude for flushing out dismal sounds is an expression of his thoughts and feelings at a particular moment in his life. The band is constantly creating and trying to keep up with life on earth, while their minds are sometimes in space.

“We’re just sort of making these documents about how we think and feel about the world at any given time, and that that should be an ongoing process. We record, play shows, we meet people—it’s like this machine that is trying to keep up with its own consistency, which is very difficult for human beings. Psychologically and on

WAND WILL BE PLAYING SONGS OFF OF THEIR ALBUMS GANGLION REEF AND GOLUM THURSDAY APRIL 2 AT BAR LE RITZ. PRESS PHOTO BY MEGHAN TRYON.

our bodies: playing all these shows and lifting all these heavy amps, we all have back problems, like, [we’re] going deaf... we’re basically killing ourselves to keep up with this regimen of, you know, sound and our history,” Hanson said.

Hanson’s documentation of his life through music has been an ongoing endeavour since his days at Cal Arts when his electronic project, W-H-I-T-E, rattled his L.A. bedroom walls. Later, Hanson worked with musical buddies Together Pangea, Michael Cronin, and Meatbodies where Hanson demonstrated not only his ability to survive tough touring schedules, but to shred on guitar. He was featured in Together Pangea’s Rollo & Grady video of “Sick Shit,” where he played a guitar solo unique in form and ability, displaying masterful use of the whammy bar. A musician of many crafts, Hanson’s career goes to show that when life gives you a studio in a banana sorting facility, you rock it.

Come wobble down to see Wand play Bar le Ritz Thursday April 2.

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Quickspins // MUSIC

Sufjan Stevens – Carrie & Lowell (Asthmatic Kitty; 2015)

Death Grips – Jenny Death: The Powers That B Disc 2 (Third Worlds, Harvest; 2015)

Courtney Barnett- Sometimes I Sit And Think, And Sometimes I Just Sit (Mom & Pop/ Marathon Artists/ Milk!; 2015)

Doldrums - The Air-Conditioned Nightmare (Sub Pop; 2015)

“The only thing that keeps me from driving this car/Half-light, jack knife into the canyon at night” whispers a 39-year-old Sufjan Stevens, voice quivering, breathy and faint.

Carrie & Lowell is by no means an easy album, both for the singer-songwriter and his audience, but it feels necessary. An incredibly effective and intimate portrait of a bruised talent, the album finds Sufjan purging his dizzying thoughts in an effort to cope with loss. Unconventionally sparse and naked, Stevens seeks solace through an open, frank and often uncompromisingly direct dialogue, omitting his now signature knack for ambition in favour of simplicity and a raw efficacy; even 2004’s Seven Swans, the album’s closest structural counterpart, feels emotionally distant in comparison. While themes of abandonment and death linger throughout Carrie & Lowell, Stevens’ approach feels therapeutic in nature, granting the entirety brief glimmers of hope and striking a heart-rending chord few albums come near. Freed of clutter, Sufjan Stevens has accomplished his most affecting work.

Blown-out and inexorably bleak, Jenny Death represents a culmination of virtually every sound Death Grips has previously dabbled in, now dished in 11 brain-melting doses and powered by sharp, searing live guitars; the addition of the latter is simply transformative, enabling the band with a powerful new tool. MC Ride’s typically manic vocal delivery is also back in spades, serving as a welcome release from The Powers That B’s A-side, Niggas on the Moon, and its comparatively laid back brand of glitch hop. Where some songs, namely the furious opener “I Break Mirrors with my Face in the United States,” find Death Grips channelling the shrill digital hardcore of Atari Teenage Riot to thunderous effect, Jenny Death’s biggest surprises lie in its most accessible tracks; “On GP,” the album’s penultimate build-up, is a noisy, psychedelic wave of gloom and unnatural beauty, with Ride delivering some of his bluest words to date. While we haven’t heard the last of the frustratingly enigmatic trio, Jenny Death is a deafening return to form.

Following up two acclaimed EPs, Courtney Barnett has released her first full-length album. On the record, the Melbourne-based songstress and guitarist is able to vividly capture common struggles faced by the average 20-something. Her observational lyrics based on everyday occurrences like a commute to work or grocery shopping are honest, simple and relatable, but manage to tackle some pretty heavy-duty themes.

On “An Illustration Of Loneliness,” the track’s protagonist is dealing with heartbreak and the inevitable nighttime insomnia and longing that comes along with it.

On “Depreston,” she’s house-hunting, but can’t shake the eerie thought of the home’s late owner and her life story told through the photos still hanging on the walls. Barnett is able to weave between fast-paced, ‘90ssounding Seattle grunge, blues-infused guitar solos, and stripped down acoustic playing. Courtney Barnett’s anthology of daily life over 11 tracks reminds us to take the time to relish the little things, no matter how ordinary they may seem.

Montrealer Airick Woodhead’s The Air-Conditioned Nightmare begins with scorcher, “HOTFOOT,” a song that storms in with grainy laser-like synths jutting out in every direction.

Woodhead explores the album’s underbelly with the lower bass layers: the percussion ranges from beats pulsing quickly in sixteenth notes, to sometimes thumping loud and languidly. Synthesizers battle for space throughout, ambivalent in their tone. On “Blow Away,” one light and dainty synth riff dances over a basal synth, which sounds like it’s being manipulated like a malleable metal. The real charm is its production, some sounds hailing from a manufactured electronic background, to others featuring the inimitable sound of real reverb slapping back off of four walls. Midway through, “Loops” punches in with a pop beat pleading to be danced to, then breaks periodically for Woodhead’s dreamy voice to amble over his emotional past relationship. “My Friend Simjen” flushes out like a pop song boiled in a pot of chemicals and showered in hallucinogens. A dialogue between Woodhead’s boyish voice and Simjen’s guttural snarl plays out, while synths are stretched to the brink, and sound like liquid fuzz.

Trial Track: “The Only Thing”

Trial Track: “On GP”

Trial Track: “Depreston”

Trial track: “Loops”

9/10

8/10

9/10

-Samuel Provost-Walker

-Samuel Provost-Walker

-Jessica Romera

10/10

-Mia Pearson

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Classial rap // SPOOF

Classical rap battle 2015 Classical composers competition: who was the most gangster?

CRISTINA SONGZA Contributor

If you think that artists like Kendrick Lamar and Jay-Z are the best beatdropping, bar-spitting rappers ever, it’s time you learn about the ultimate gangsters of the music world: classical composers. I’m not trying to pull a Kanye here, but nothing gets more gangster than a sonata or concerto, and let’s face it, they created some of the best pieces of music of all time.

are performed up to 400 times every year to this day. Verdi and Wagner probably had the biggest beef, making today’s rap battles look like newborn calves.

Although they never met, they resented each other. He obviously ended with a big following, as his funeral still remains as the largest public event in the history of Italy. Need ice for that burn, Wagner?

Twerk to this: “La Traviata - Brindisi”

3. Verdi Verdi dropped an operatic beat like no other. So much so that his operas

2. Bach I’m talking Johann Sebastian Bach, otherwise known as the biggest baby maker and pimp of the classical world.

Bach had over 20 children in his lifetime with two different women. Diddy and his lil’ family pack ain’t got nothing on him. Bach was playing for royal-

PAUL TRAUNARROW Staff writer

istic fetish of being mercilessly beaten daily by his male servants. (Hit the showers, boys!)

Group Concerto della Rza:

Group Sonata Della Gza 3. Carlo Gesualdo Gesualdo was not only a 17th-century composer, but also a royal prince.He has been the subject of several operatic works and documentaries due to the violent murder of his adulterous wife, who had been cheating on him with a cross-dressing duke. He ultimately died due to injuries caused by his masoch-

Twerk to this: “Tristis Est Anima Mea” 2. Hildegard of Bingen Not only was she canonized as Saint Hildegard in 2012 by Pope Benedict XVI, this German writer, composer, philosopher and overall visionary was a badass feminist who took credit for her own compositions, which often related to the female body, desire and sexuality in a time when it was forbidden. (Step aside, Beyoncé!)

ty like it was his morning routine, was the master of polyphony and spat bars in all kinds of instruments, from organ to violin.

Twerk to this: “Toccata and Fugue in D minor” 1. Mozart Everyone needs to know about my main boy Wolfie. That’s what the folks would call him. If you looked at his birth certificate though, you would find that his name was actually more epic than that: Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Amadeus Gottlieb Sigismundus Mozart.

He actually learned to write music before he could write words, and wrote over 600 pieces of music during his lifetime. Get on dat level, son.

Twerk to this: “Requiem in D minor”

Twerk to this: “O Viridissima Virga” 1. Franz Liszt: Topping the list, is a man who is considered the “world’s first rock star.”

Liszt’s popularity in the 19th century was comparable to The Beatles in the ‘60s— so much so that the hysteria he caused was dubbed “Lisztomania.” He boasted 26 high profile love affairs, including a French countess, had an unhealthy appetite for absinthe and cognac and was known to destroy pianos during his outrageous theatrical recitals onstage. (Definitely “bigger than Jesus!”)

SAMUEL PROVOST-STALKER Staff writer

>> Paul McCartney to re-record The White Album for G.O.O.D Music Following a string of unexpected collaborations with hip-hop and now fashion magnate, Kanye West, it seems Sir Paul McCartney has taken a liking to the rapper’s vigorous work ethic.The pair have agreed to work on more projects, with McCartney himself suggesting his next one will be his most controversial. “I’ve been meaning to go back to The White Album. As talented as my band mates at the time were, and they really were, that album never felt right to me. I need a new pair of ears to guide me through it all again and if anyone can do that, surely it’s Mr. West,” McCartney said.

Representatives for both McCartney and West have also confirmed the project is set to be released on G.O.O.D Music, with the label’s extensive catalogue of artists slated to make appearances in one form or another. Because “Ob-LaDi, Ob-La-Da” could really use a Pusha T verse about selling bricks of cocaine.

Twerk to this: “Liebestraum”

>> Metallica to release Lulu: The Complete Sessions box set

Graphic by Cristina Sanza

While not exactly a critical darling, Metallica’s joint album with the late Lou Reed, Lulu, proved to be a lengthy endeavour. At a staggering 87 minutes in length, the project flirted with each party’s respective sounds in an attempt to craft an ambitious, uncompromising epic. Whether it proved successful or not is debatable but Metallica haven’t given up on it just yet! While news regarding a new studio album remains non-existent, the thrash metal quartet has announced plans to release a fully-featured box set detailing the lengthy Lulu sessions. Packaged in a handcrafted mannequin bust, Lulu: The Complete Sessions is an extensive 7-disc set comprised of virtually every recorded tape from the collaborative effort; included are numerous instudio Velvet Underground reprises, such as a “shredding version of ‘The Murder Mystery,’” as well as an entire disc of false starts and impromptu Reed mantras. One disc is said to feature the “definitive version” of Lulu, featuring “more guitars, more percussion, more Metallica,” while another features an a cappella, Reed-only take on the material. Whichever side you wanted more of, Lulu: The Complete Sessions is bound to deliver one way or another!

sports

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Write to the editor: sports@theconcordian.com Lecture // SPORTS

Preaching perseverance to reach the podium Four-time Olympic medallist spoke about his journey as part of the Red Bull Athlete Tour TIM LAZIER Sports editor

Charles Hamelin was 17 years old when he began to dominate the podium in short track speed skating. Before that, he’d never imagined a future of Olympic stardom. He never imagined that he would be racing against the fastest skaters in the world one day. And he certainly never imagined that he’d capture an Olympic gold medal on home soil, let alone twice. However, thanks to the support of his father and relationship with his brother, he never gave up on the sport—and it’s a good thing he didn’t.

On Wednesday, March 25, the fourtime Olympic medallist visited Concordia University as a part of the Red Bull Athlete Tour. For the past couple weeks, Hamelin has been making his way through local universities such as Laval, Queen’s and George Brown College to share his experience and Olympic journey with students.

Growing up in Sainte-Julie, Hamelin is still amazed by how quickly his ca-

reer took off. When he was 10, Hamelin and his younger brother François first tried the sport on a whim. Their father Yves, who is now the director of the Canadian short track program, encouraged his boys to stick with it. Although Yves never raced competitively himself, he was always there to help in any way he could.

Hamelin says the constant year-toyear improvement is one of the reasons why he began to flourish on the ice. As other racers had reached their peak by their late teens, Hamelin was just starting to realize his potential.

Turning 31 in less than two weeks, Hamelin first arrived on the World Championship stage when he was 20 years old. At his first World Championship competition in Beijing in 2005, Hamelin won a gold medal as a part of the men’s 5000-metre relay team, as well as a silver medal in the 500-metre race.

The following year, Hamelin got his first whiff of Olympic competition. Although his individual races did not go as well as he had hoped, Hamelin won his first Olympic medal after Canada’s 5000metre relay team finished second.

Having cemented himself as a future star in the sport after his success at the World Championships and in his Olympic debut, Hamelin knew that the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver was his can’tmiss opportunity.

“In front of the home crowd, [the] expectations were high,” he said. “Canada wanted to be number one in medals.”

Hamelin trained vigorously for the next few years in the lead-up to the Vancouver games. He had learned to overcome the mental stress that came with racing on international stages and, as he began to accumulate more and more World Championship medals in the process, Hamelin knew that he had reached his peak by the time the Vancouver Olympics were set to begin.

The day of Hamelin’s 500-metre sprint and 5000-metre relay race in Vancouver was one that he will never forget.

“When I woke up, there was something different about that day,” he said. “[I felt] almost unbeatable.”

Hamelin remembers everything about that day and every aspect of his backto-back races. What the energy of the crowd felt like, how every stride seemed

to hug the ice surface, how composed he was in the midst of madness and how he felt standing on the top of the podium with his brother after it was all over.

By the time Hamelin’s day was done, he had captured two gold medals in front of thousands of screaming fans and an entire nation gleaming with pride—both within the span 30 minutes.

“That was the greatest moment of my career,” he said. “Still the best day of my life.”

After earning another gold in Sochi during the 2014 games, Hamelin is still chasing Olympic glory. He plans to skate again at the 2018 Olympics in South Korea, admitting that it will be his final competition as a professional speed skater. It’s the passion that Hamelin holds for the sport that keeps him motivated.

He told the students in attendance that the most important thing is the day-today goals that he sets for himself. The Olympics only come every four years; if Hamelin wasn’t motivated to work every day on his craft, than he would not have the hardware to show for it.

“If you believe in yourself, you can do anything,” he said.

HAMELIN SPOKE TO A CROWD OF CONCORDIA STUDENTS ON WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25, ABOUT HIS RISE TO OLYMPIC FAME IN THE SPEED SKATING WORLD. PHOTO BY ANDREJ IVANOV.

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CFL // SPORTS

Concordia hosts regional combine Four veteran Stingers were given the chance to impress CFL scouts

PEGGY KABEYA Assistant sports editor

O

n Wednesday, March 25, Concordia hosted one of the three Canadian Football League (CFL) regional combines. Some of the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) top football prospects descended to the Loyola campus Stinger Dome in front of a plethora of pro scouts, team representatives and league executives. Each of them showed off their skills and tested their physical limits with the high hopes of improving their draft positions. The upcoming rookie draft will be held on May 12 in Toronto.

The event was an all-day affair, starting with the players filing into Concordia’s PERFORM Centre by 8 a.m. After registration and weigh-ins, each athlete completed a series of standard tests in the gym that measured their physical strength. After everyone was done, the afternoon sessions were devoted to on-field testing and one-on-one drills.

A select few of draft-eligible Stingers prospects took part in the 2015 Montreal regional combine. The Stingers bunch was headlined by the presence of their star receiver, Jamal Henry. Despite the chatter suggesting that the Stingers standout may be back this fall for his fifth and final year of CIS eligibility, Henry, like all in attendance, didn’t want to miss the chance of playing in front of professional scouts.

Other Concordia student-athletes participated, including fellow receiver Shayne Stinson, defensive-back Jovan DeschenesCober and place kicker Keegan Treloar.

“I never really saw myself getting this far with football,” said Deschenes-Cober.

When asked about how he felt among the other top prospects in in attendance, Deschenes-Cober was confident in his performance.

“I feel like I had a really good day, I’d definitely say I was among the top tier of the defensive-backs.”

Despite his well-intentioned optimism, the scouts in attendance declined to invite Deschenes-Cober or any of Concordia’s prospects to the final CFL combine. The

second leg of the scouting process will bring together all the selectees from the three regional combines and give prospects one-on-one interviews with proteam representatives. Despite the disappointing end to the day, the minor setback hasn’t broken Deschenes-Cober’s spirit.

“I’m just going to keep training, stay in the best shape as possible and hope for an invite to a [CFL team’s] training camp,” he said.

Looking ahead, Deschenes-Cober understands the reality of the situation and that patience and hard work will extend his football career to professional ranks.

“Training camp will be my best shot.

They have to bring a certain amount of Canadian players, which will hopefully be an opportunity [for me],” he said. “Realistically, it’s a numbers game. I’m just going to keep training and make the most of it.”

With CFL training camps settled to open for the end of May, DeschenesCober and the rest of Concordia hopefuls will aim to earn an invite, in order to flip their pro dreams into a living reality.

Sports in the News TIM LAZIER Sports editor

>> TANKING FOR MCDAVID

On Thursday night, March 26, when the Buffalo Sabres hosted the Arizona Coyotes, the Buffalo fans took the idea of “tanking” to a whole new level. The two teams are fighting for last place in the NHL, with the ultimate loser getting the best odds of receiving the first overall pick in the upcoming rookie draft. The prize for being the worst this year: Connor McDavid. McDavid is seen as the next great star as he has swept up every statistical record this season, even outperforming Sidney Crosby’s last season with the Rimouski Oceanics. When the Sabres eventually lost to the Coyotes in overtime, the home crowd mocked their team by cheering as the visiting team skated off in victory. Even when Buffalo did score their three goals in the 4-3 loss, the fans booed their team.

>>

MONTHS OF TRAINING AND PREPARATION WENT INTO WEDNESDAY’S SHOWCASE FOR THE DRAFT-ELIGIBLE PLAYERS. PHOTO BY KEITH RACE

Stingers // SPOOF

Changing the Stingers name?

The CIS ruling body is considering a major shift in the athletic landscape

UNBREAKABLE TIMMY SCHMIDT Sports editor

T

he Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) governing body has discovered a set of rules that are believed to have been written by their founding organization. The CIS was first formed in 1961 and has been the umbrella under which 55 Canadian university varsity programs currently fall, including Concordia. In the archives of the CIS headquarters in Ottawa, representatives found a set of signed legislations from over 50 years ago that state all CIS teams must have a type of animal as their team name.

This past week, Leo MacPherson

issued a statement concerning the recent discovery. MacPherson, the current President of the CIS organization, said that they are still unsure whether or not these documents are legitimate.

However, he has admitted that if they are official, the governing body would have to decide whether or not to enforce this particular clause.

Concordia, considering that “Stingers” is not a type of animal, is one of the universities that may have to change their athletic name. Concordia’s athletic department has not released an official statement as of yet.

But, like many universities throughout Canada, they have to consider a backup plan if the CIS decides to uphold the original rules. Possible alternatives for the varsity teams are “Ladybugs”

or “Bumblebees.” If they want to stay true to the “Stingers” name, another possibility is to change their name to the Concordia Stingrays. The clause does not mention any sort of colour restrictions, so it is suspected that the traditional maroon and gold look of Concordia’s varsity squads will remain the same.

The discovered documents and original set of clauses were signed by the two executive founders of the CIS, Dr. Lisa April and Michael Fools. The reasoning behind the clause is unsure, however it is said that April and Fools were both big supporters of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

The McGill Redmen are rumoured to change their name to “Butterflies.”

OPENING DAY FAST APPROACHING

MLB’s opening day is less than a week away and there are plenty of juicy storylines for fans to get swept up in.

For the first time in a decade, the Chicago Cubs look like a threat. Yes, the Cubs. After a bunch of offseason acquisitions, highlighted by the signing of veteran ace Jon Lester, Chicago has the seventh-highest odds to win this year’s World Series, according to Bodog Sportsbook. The Washington Nationals have the deepest starting pitching rotation and seemed to have taken a stranglehold on the National League, even leapfrogging the defending-champion San Francisco Giants. As for the general playoff picture, multiple divisions are seemingly wide open. The Boston Red Sox have retooled to tighten the American League East division race, whereas the Central and West divisions each had three teams with 85 or more wins last season.

>> SAM DOES NOT STAND ALONE

Before last year’s NFL rookie draft, Michael Sam became the first openly gay professional football player. A year later, Sam recently told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that there are “a lot” of current NFL players who are gay and that some have reached out to him. According to TSN, Sam was giving a speech at the Dallas Holocaust Museum last week and clarified that, “I’m just saying there is a lot of us.” Sam is currently a free agent and is still hoping to get signed by a team before training camp begins this summer. If the NFL does not work out, Sam has admitted that he would not shy away from the CFL to continue his football career.

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opinions Write to the editor: opinions@theconcordian.com Editorial // OPINIONS

Even in times of protest, civility comes first Whether online or in person, everyone’s rights and opinions should be respected

A

nd so, we’ve come to this.

Many likely, and rightfully, believed that civil discourse between the anti-austerity protesters and the anti-protesters could exist. Maybe it still does, in quiet, hidden little corners of the campus. These pockets of civility seem to, unfortunately, be dwindling in size and frequency. Both online and in-person, diplomacy has, simply put, failed.

One member of our masthead came across allusions to violence from an anti-protester in a private Facebook study group. The group was discussing what to

do seeing as their next class in a striking department landed on a day of protest: would they try to go to class? What was the protocol? What would the teacher do?

It was then that one who was against the strikes posted that “violence could happen” and “I might get physical” and that “if they want to strike let them strike as long as they know the consequences.”

It was then that the anti-austerity supporter, who was not even a student in the class being discussed, responded by screen-capping the exchange and shaming said person on the PSSA’s public

page.

Afterwards, said anti-austerity supporter was kicked from the group for not being a student in the class at hand, and the screenshot removed from PSSA. The supporter’s comments were also deleted from the thread in the group.

Meanwhile, reports of scuffles in university hallways are abound and insults are flung like mud from all sides. One side calls the other disillusioned and militant; the other is apathetic and uninformed.

Professors are caught in the crossfire, forced to choose between breaching a picket line and breaching their contracts.

Concordia Security services are stretched thin with calls from all over campus.

Where did the civil discourse go? Both sides claim to be peaceful and outwardly aware, yet no one is putting their money where their mouth is. Since when did we stop listening to what the other side had to say? Since when did we decide to fling fists and fits instead of facts? When did our campus become a battlefield, where lines are drawn by such simple actions as going to class?

Civility is buried somewhere in our student body, Concordia—it’s about time we find it.

Religion // OPINIONS

Religion and secularism: living in harmony

Loyola’s case highlights the need for exemptions MATTHEW SHANAHAN Staff writer

O

n March 19, Loyola High School ended its six-year battle with the Supreme Court of Canada. The Jesuit Catholic School was hoping to teach their religion courses through a Catholic perspective, arguing that all of the necessary modules and competency requirements would be met under the provincial Ethics and Religious Culture program. Introduced in 2008, the program replaced the pre-existing religion curriculum that catered to individual schools based on their religious affiliation.

I was in ninth grade when the program was implemented, and as a Loyola High School alumnus I remember everything vividly. My friends in public school did not have particularly nice things to say about it. As a school, we feared losing this fundamental right to teach the religion course that corresponded to our heritage and values. The future of our school as we knew it was in jeopardy.

But there was one main concern that everyone in the Loyola community shared.

Let me start off my saying that I am a big believer in the public school system. The concept of the private school system seems quite ridiculous to me in a lot of ways, especially if we are in a society that promotes equality and hopes to minimize segregation. However, when I think about having children in the future, there’s no doubt that I would want to pay for them to go to Loyola—a semi-private

school. It has built its reputation as a great school for sports, academics and spirituality, a unique combination that be found nowhere else in the province— unfortunately.

The main question to ask is: does the government have the right to force their courses on Loyola? Simply put, they do because Loyola is a semi-private school, meaning they get funding from the state.

Loyola appealed this law, hoping to win its case on the grounds of religious freedom while at the same time fulfilling the requirements of their world religions course, but done from a Catholic perspective. The Quebec Court of Appeal disagreed, but that ruling was overturned by the Supreme Court. Now, the school must apply to the Quebec Ministry of

Education for an exemption to teach the course, which must be guided by the Supreme Court ruling, according to CBC. “The Ethics and Religious Culture program was conceived as a way to teach students to recognize the value of others and the pursuit of the common good,” former Loyola principal Paul Donovan told CBC. “These are laudable goals that we share and wish to inculcate in our students. However, we do not believe that religious values in the context of our school need to be suppressed to accomplish this.”

With the ruling going in Loyola’s favour this past week, many people are saying that it’s not religion that is being challenged but secularism. Quebec law on this course says that it must be

LOYOLA HIGH SCHOOL RECENTLY WON A CASE BEFORE THE SUPREME COURT OF CANADA REGARDING RELIGIOUS TEACHING. PHOTO FROM LOYOLA HIGH SCHOOL’S FACEBOOK PAGE.

taught in a secular and morally neutral way. Since different religions can contradict one another, how can a course like this be taught in a neutral way, if not by ridiculing each faith in turn? At the very least, other methods—such as a religious perspective—must be accepted.

So why did the Supreme Court have a different opinion than the Quebec Court of Appeal on the issue? The short answer is that each court was composed of judges with different opinions, but the long answer is that, in my opinion, the rest of Canada seemingly does not have a problem with religious institutions nearly as much as Quebec does. We’ve seen it recently with the Parti Quebecois’ proposed “Charter of Values” when they held power. And don’t think there won’t be more issues in Quebec like this to come: supporters of secularism in Quebec appear to want to put their values above religious values, instead of working to harmonize them.

“To ask a religious school’s teachers to discuss other religions and their ethical beliefs as objectively as possible does not seriously harm the values underlying religious freedom,” Justice Rosalie Abella wrote for the majority. “But preventing a school like Loyola from teaching and discussing Catholicism in any part of the program from its own perspective does little to further those objectives while at the same time seriously interfering with the values underlying religious freedom.”

In recent history, secularism has been used to combat religious extremism in a variety of cases around the world, but this case is far from being religious extremism. Therefore it begs the question: is secularism the answer to all religious issues? Or are there simple, alternative answers like the exemption proposed in the case of Loyola?

TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

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Health // OPINIONS

The Schrodinger’s cat of genetic mutation One woman’s family struggles with the BRCA1 mutation gene

KELSEY LITWIN Staff writer

A

ngelina Jolie announced that she had undergone a procedure to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed in an essay published in The New York Times on March 24. This report hits incredibly close to home as Jolie and I are in the same boat—minus the fame, fortune and six kids.

My mother was diagnosed withstage 2B breast cancer in 1998, when I was three years old. Her cancer was fast-growing, aggressive and came with many nasty side effects, including an allergic reaction to a chemotherapy cocktail so severe that it mimicked a heart attack. She was 31 years old: incredibly young for breast cancer. According to the American Cancer Society, about two thirds of diagnoses are found in women above the age of 55. My mom was an outlier.

Fortunately, after many treatments—including a double mastectomy—my mother was in remission and I am so proud to say that 18 years later she is still cancer free.

However, this is far from where her story ends.

While she was being treated, my mom was approached by Dr. William Foulkes, who was researching the BRCA1 genetic mutation. This is the very same genetic mutation that encouraged Jolie to undergo a preventive double mastectomy that she wrote about for The New York Times two years ago, and her more recent laparoscopic bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy.

The risk of breast cancer among BRCA1 carriers increases to 80 per cent over their lifetime, compared to 12.5 per cent for non-carriers, according to the National Cancer Institute. The risk of ovarian cancer increases to 50 per cent and only gets higher with a diagnosis of breast cancer.

These increased risks encourage many women to seek the same preventative measures as Jolie.

Foulkes proposed that my mom be tested for the gene, as she fit the criteria for being a carrier. The American Cancer Society says that “breast cancers linked to these mutations occur more often in younger women … and are more common in Jewish people of Ashkenazi (Eastern Europe) origin.” That’s my mom in a nutshell.

I think you can guess where this is going.

When my mom found out she was a carrier of the BRCA1 gene, she, like all carriers, was faced with many decisions to make about her body. Fortunately, in Montreal, we have the resources available to us to make these decisions without having to go into debt. With two young children at home and such a high risk of developing cancer again—70 per cent of another breast cancer and 90 per cent of ovarian cancer—my mom, like Jolie, decided to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed.

“When I heard the stats, I felt I had no choice but to do the surgeries because I felt like I had time bombs in my body,” my mom told me during one of our discussions. To this day, she credits this surgery for preventing a relapse and saving her life.

My mom’s treatment was never hidden while I was growing up. I remember holidays spent in her hospital room. I remember dragging a wig across the house, making sure it gathered every last dust bunny, demanding that she put it on. I remember watching Power Rangers while she worked with a nurse at home. However, her BRCA1 carrier status was never discussed.

Two years ago, when Angelina Jolie first wrote about her carrier status, was when my mother and I had our first conversation about the gene and my disposition to it. A prominent figure speaking out created an environment in which she felt safe to open up and introduce me to what I may face. We were also approaching the 10 year mark, making this discussion even more necessary.

“My doctors indicated I should have preventive surgery about a decade before the earliest onset of cancer in my female relatives,” wrote Jolie in her article. This is not an uncommon recommendation. It is often advised that those with the BRCA1 gene should begin regular screenings within that time frame. My mom was diagnosed at 31, so I would need to begin at 21.

Since that discussion, I have begun seeing a genetic counselor—the very same who saw my mom all those years ago. Unlike Jolie, though, I’ve decided to hold off on finding out whether or not I am a carrier.

I am a schrodinger’s cat of genetic mutation: I both have the gene and do not have the gene. There would be very few screening or prevention options available to me at such a young age, regardless of whether I test positive or not. For now, resting in limbo is as close to peace of mind as I can get.

Nevertheless, I applaud what Jolie has done and I owe her my thanks. Her activism and outspokenness encourages dialogue and raises much needed awareness about the world of cancer prevention. By no means should every woman, with the BRCA1 gene or not, go schedule such invasive procedures. It is important to understand one’s own risk level and assess options from there.

Same goes for having genetic testing in the first place. Critics have gone after Jolie saying that “the Angelina effect” has encouraged many women, including those who are not disposed to the gene, to seek testing. According to the Toronto Sun, testing has nearly doubled at one of New York’s largest medical centres since Jolie’s first article.

Others criticize Jolie for speaking from a privileged position. In the United States, testing can run up to $3,500. For some women, this is simply not doable.

However, the medical community is thanking her. “A Nobel laureate could give the same message, and it might reach only a handful of people,” said David Fishman, director of the Mount Sinai Ovarian Cancer Risk Assessment Program in New York City in an interview with the Toronto Sun. “Angelina is using her celebrity in a heroic way, and she’s going to reach millions of people worldwide.”

All the doctors whom I’ve recently spoken to in regards to my own status, including the doctor who first approached my mom about being tested while I was still a toddler, have helped me understand that the best way to treat cancer is to prevent it. While there is no way to 100 per cent eradicate one’s risk of developing the disease, you can lower it.

Jolie said it best: “it is not easy to make these decisions. But it is possible to take control and tackle head-on any health is-

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

Campus // OPINIONS

Deep thought missing from philosophy dept Striking SoPhiA students lack the introspection to bring about true revolutionary change

LIAM THOMAS Contributor

M

any of us may be inclined to suppose that the study of philosophy would furnish one with the ability to construct and produce cerebral, well-articulated arguments. However, as I pushed passed a thin but intimidating line of picketers outside of my Intro to Metaphysics classroom on March 26, I was met with little physical resistance, but much of the intellectual kind.

“Are you aware of the strike?” one of the protesters asked me. “Yeah, I’m aware,” I responded. A chorus of snickers and scoffs was relayed down the picket line until I was hectored with the following statement: “Oh! So you’d prefer to be a scab!?”

SoPhiA is protesting government cuts to education by cutting into my education time. Apparently, the study of philosophy doesn’t necessarily yield an ability to apprehend irony, nor does it require a need to properly learn the definitions of certain words, and when it is appropriate to use them. It also doesn’t seem to preclude arrogance, and a hypocritical belief system in which the protesters end up embodying some of the very things they claim to be rebelling against—that is, conformity, an abnegation of individual liberty, and a refusal to tolerate behavior that detracts from their schismatic status quo. The great American author Jack London is believed to have defined a scab in the following way: “A scab is a two-legged animal with a cork-screw soul, a water-logged brain, a combination backbone of jelly and glue.

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles. When a scab comes down the street, men turn their backs and angels weep in heaven, and the Devil shuts the gates of Hell to keep him out. No man has a right to scab so long as there is a pool of water to drown his carcass in, or a rope long enough to hang his body with. Judas Iscariot was a gentleman compared with a scab. For betraying his master, he had character enough to hang himself. A scab has not. Esau sold his birthright for a mass of pottage. Judas Iscariot sold his Savior for thirty pieces of silver. Benedict Arnold sold his country for a promise of a commission in the British Army. The modern strikebreaker sells his birthright, his country, his wife, his children and his fellow men for an unfulfilled promise from his employer, trust or corporation. Esau was a traitor to himself; Judas Iscariot was a traitor to

God; Benedict Arnold was a traitor to his country; a strikebreaker is a traitor to his God, his country, his wife, his family and his class.”

In wanting to enter my classroom with the intent of forming a study group to further my understanding of metaphysical arguments (for which no professor would be present), am I guilty of any of these things? We were informed—prior to the strike taking effect—that we would be allowed to do this. We were not informed that we would be bullied and alienated in the process. I am an independent student who had eyes on either majoring or minoring in philosophy, but recent events have caused me to seriously doubt my predilections. The censoring of student journalists and a closed session in which 36 yes votes constitutes a democratic decision is something that is redolent of the Harper government, and of Strauss-

PHOTO BY KEITH RACE.

ian political tactics, generally—or of the Inner Party in Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon: The Students of Philosophy Association knows what’s best for all of us, and the people ought not to know what transpires within their hallowed walls, lest the feeble minded commoners misunderstand the lofty undertakings of the philosophical elite.

While I am in complete opposition to the Liberal government’s austerity measures, hurling insults and patronizing those of us who express ambivalence on the problem of striking is no way to get other students to take you seriously. The movement is clearly in dire need of more eloquent speakers: for instance, students who don’t replace words with hand gestures, or who speak perfunctorily and with a tone of condescension which is wholly unfounded. Allowing thoughtful criticism—without dismissing it outright and reverting to a cabal that will only serve to fortify one’s established patterns of thinking—might help the movement to achieve this end. (I did have a congenial discussion with the student liaison, a guy named Michael, with whom I shared many concerns regarding the problems of making education a commodity, and other Marxist-fragranced assertions.)

Historically, it is true that the kindling of many revolutions has been ignited under the edifices of institutions of higher education (one thinks of the French, Haitian, and, more recently, Egyptian revolutions, as well as the university reforms of Argentina in 1918), but if something similar is going to happen here in Quebec, SoPhiA needs seriously to reconsider its tactics if it truly wishes to follow in the foot marches of other great revolutionary movements.

Letter // OPINIONS

Letter to the editor: We need to do better On Thursday March 26, the general assembly of Concordia’s Graduate Students’ Association failed to maintain quorum to deal with any business for the third, arguably fourth, time in a row. The only motions dealt with were minutes and an incomplete amendment an Austerity motion that is on the agenda since October and then quorum was lost. The October GA, infamously known by members as the “circus GA”, also ended by the loss of quorum. In reflecting the interests of the stark majority of members present, executive elections were more important than all other points. After voting the current VP mobilization in, a rather heated exchange after the election for VP Academic and Advocacy followed due to voter intimidation and members (that were there only to vote in the election) leaving during the voting process of the other candidate. Quorum was quickly lost the second the GA got to the actual business of addressing austerity and non-election business. At the very least, GSA now had VP Mobilization.

Three unsuccessful GAs have followed since then in the new VP’s watch; three incidences where quorum either did not exist or was not maintained; Three strikes for GSA’s mobilization efforts. I often wonder how the VP mobilization could do such a wonderful job mobilizing other students to vote him in as VP Mob and then never again see another successful GA. Yet, he is running for re-election this week as part of “Grads for Change” slate (voting is on March 30 - April 1). Three current executives are running for reelection as part of this slate and I’d argue that a more fitting name is “Veterans for Change.” They have the highest number of people currently within the GSA’s governing structure, executive and council, than any other slate.

Another odd fact about this week’s election is the impressive number of candidates this year, nearly 60 in all. If all the candidates had showed up to this GA, it would have had no trouble meeting and maintaining quorum. If candidates don’t care enough to show up for their own GA, How can anyone think they care enough to fix the GSA? I am currently on academic exchange at ETH Zurich in Switzerland (until June when the terms start) but I sincerely wish I could have been there with the rest of my slate.

The other troubling practice of “Veterans for Change” is the odd motion passed by GSA council to ban all campaigning on GSA’s Facebook group. The motion was put forward by an ENCS director who happens to be a candidate running on this slate.

Even more troubling, many directors running in this slate took part in adopting the motion, despite the clear conflict of interest. This essentially means that candidates in this slate took advantage of their unique position on council to change the rules of an

election they were running in. The audacity of this conflict of interest and unfairness is quite striking. What was the reasoning? For the life of me, I don’t know, but, I have a theory. If one has enough friendship votes, all you need to do to win an election is to make sure the messages and ideas of others don’t easily get out. If this is not cheating, I don’t know what is. I understand that the GSA’s Facebook is not the holy grail of campaigning opportunities but very clearly this was misconduct by GSA Council. Very simply, candidates should not be able to abuse their position on council to change the rules of an election they are running in.

As a candidate for senate in this election and also a member of the Cross-Faculty Rep slate, I find this unfair and was hoping that fellow slate candidate Trevor James Smith would have had the opportunity to expose and overturn this at the last (failed) GA. Graduate students should be able recognize these abuses of power and be able to call them out. GSA has many problems to address and I was looking forward to this GA as an opportunity to address some. In addition to the austerity and anti-pipeline positions, I was looking forward to the reform in the budget committee composition that I put forward as well as the budgetary audit reform that was also on the agenda.

I was also looking forward to seeing us adopt some accountability measures like rollcall voting, where directors’ votes are recorded, a practice used by most self-respecting voting bodies on the planet. There are many more issues that still need to be addressed concerning the practices of staff, execs and directors. I was looking forward for a glimmer of hope to emerge in a very frustrating year.

As I said in an earlier letter: “GSA matters! With government imposed cuts on education, it matters now more than ever. And just like in 2012, we CAN do better! …This is a call for YOU to intervene to reform the GSA.” Hope exists! There is just no easy way there. We must take the harder path of overcoming our apathy to make GSA an advocacy force to be reckoned with; a force for education; a force for empathy and sustainability; a force for vibrant, diverse and engaged community!

Vote cross-faculty rep Keroles Riad

TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

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Entertainment // OPINIONS

Fun with flat: the magic of board gaming Settlers of Catan is the gateway to exciting cardboard worlds MATTHEW CIVICO Assistant opinions editor

I have one rule. No puns about board games being boring.

Board games are not boring and neither are they dead. They’re actually in the midst of renaissance and, as a pusher of cardboard tokens, I’m here to persuade you to play more of them.

You may be wondering why anyone needs board games when most of us have easy or unrestricted access to movies, TV shows, videogames, and the wonders of the entire internet. And what’s wrong with kicking back for a Netflix binge anyway?

Nothing—except one insidious fault that is now laced through our entire media-crazed culture: it’s passive entertainment. In fact, all of our most loved forms of entertainment are mostly passive.

Through no fault of our own, our friends, family, and loved ones are pushed to the periphery while we watch movies, T.V., and play videos games—even when we do these things together.

Enter board games. I’m not talking about Mr. Moneybags’ Monopoly— though, bless his greedy heart. I’m talking about the wide world of games that don’t encourage murder. Best of all, these games—even Monopoly, in its own twisted way—are active entertainment. I don’t mean that you’ll be active per se, rather that you’ll be actively engaged—socially.

I think this is a very good thing. Active, or social entertainment allows us to interact with the participants by design.

Although talking during a movie can be fun, and can even improve a terrible film, it breaks the intended experience of viewing. You can do it, but you’re doing it “wrong” if you do. Active entertainment requires that you interact, collaborate, and even narrate your experience. Never has a night of board games passed in silence.

Because board games are active, they even help you get to know your friends better. It’s like the difference between grabbing burgers with friends at McDonald’s and having them over to stuff homemade beef patties with all manner of deliciousness. Sure, you’ll chat at McDo, but it will be an in-and-out experience. But an evening of tabletop goodness is just that: hours of fun at the table with your friends.

I will never give up passive entertainment. As an introvert, I often need it to recharge, but board game nights trump just about all other activities for me now.

Play them with snacks and beer, order a pizza, or go fancy with baked brie and wine. If you get people in a room together where they can talk, compete, and even cooperate, then you have yourself an evening to remember.

Perhaps you’re unconvinced. Fine.

This is where I tell you which games you should try. Give them a chance, and when one of them changes your life, send a letter to the editor about it.

Settlers of Catan is the Mumford & Sons of board games—its cool, has depth, and too many people like it. But it’s just too good to ignore; Settlers is a modern classic. It’s more balanced than Monopoly, meaning that you never disengage, because your next Victory Point is always just out of reach. Bonus: it plays in about 60 to 90 minutes, which is a lot faster than a game of Risk.

Once Upon a Time is a card game best

played with creative types, but fun times do not discriminate. In OUAT, players use a hand of fairy tale tropes as prompts to reach a random “happily ever after” by telling a story. The catch: you’re all telling the same story, playing tug-of-war with the narrative by interrupting each other with special cards.

Tales of the Arabian Nights is magical. Explore the world as Aladdin, Scheherazade, and others on your quest for greatness. The choice is yours in this massive choose-your-own-adventure

game. Will you free the genie, steal his treasure, or challenge him to a drinking game? Everything is possible this side of the Cave of Wonders. Note: best played with dramatic readings voices.

There you have it, my case for more board games.

If you enjoy the thrill of competition, laughing fits, and good conversation with friends, you owe it to yourself to throw a board game night. Oh, there’s just one more rule: always do your homework, read the instructions before hand!

Graphic by Marie-Pier LaRose

Opinion // SPOOF

Are more cuts to the CBC a bane or a boon?

In broadcasting, less is more—especially when you want to do more with less

MATTHEW CEVICHE Assistant opinions editor

Word came down over the weekend that the latest in a series of job cuts has taken place at CBC newsrooms and this has some in the media worried. In the face of all this uncertainty, I’d like to alleviate some anxiety by proposing that funding and staffing cuts are not all bad.

For example, less funding means less entry-level positions which will result in fewer hands for grunt work-like factchecking. This sounds bad, but only to the unenlightened mind. With no one to fact-check news items, imagine the level of trust that will develop between writers and editors; between reporters and producers. It’s like a giant trust fall exercise; isn’t that beautiful?

In addition to cuts, the CBC also announced a renewed focus on niche markets. Citing the ever-growing pet market, CBC Radio One is rolling out CBC Radio Meow. The new station will take over studio Q and broadcast the delightful hubbub of thirty-eight felines. An online report stated: “The CBC wants to provide something for cats by cats, because

cats shouldn’t have to listen to people talk when their owners are at work earning money to buy them treats.” I could not agree more, and while some animalhaters might point out that these cats don’t pay provincial or federal taxes, I’d like to draw attention to fact that they’re cute and fluffy.

For those concerned about the wellbeing of such a large group of cats, I can assure you that there’s no need to worry. Shad, the new host of Q, took to twitter to assure listeners that he would drop into the studio on a daily basis to feed, snuggle, and talk with the cats.

One of the most exciting aspects of these cuts is the commitment to the next generation of Canadians. What do our children need? Well, I would think the answer is obvious: they need more Rex Murphy. His name Rex, and that’s a good name for an even better man, and if you’re like me, you may not be sure if you want to live in a future with less Rex Murphy.

The good news is that the CBC agrees.

In the interest of providing Murphy’s point of view to future generations, the network has decided to scrap plans for a paid internship program and funnel the money into cryo-stasis su pension

CBC CUTS MAY BE A GOOD THING, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. FROM KRIS KRUG ON FLICKR. research. The CBC is confident that negotiations with Rex will go well, and that advances in medical technology will guarantee Rex’s status as a ‘talking head’ for the years to come. I for one applaud this kind forward thinking and look forward to seeing Rex live on as a head in a jar.

Certain dissenting voices, somewhat shockingly, are hailing these changes as the ‘death of news’ and ‘a blow to democracy’ but I’m not sure what they’re worried about. Fact-checkers are buzzkills, cats are arguably the internet itself, and if Rex Murphy can live forever, maybe the rest of us can too.

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TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2015

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@petertandlund “Wake Me Up Before You GoPro #InternetASong”

@AlmighDee_ “99 Problems (But A Glitch Ain’t One) #InternetASong”

Michelle Gamage Production manager production@theconcordian.com

Frederic T. Muckle Assistant news editor

@Otakar227 “Killing Me Software (With His Virus) #InternetASong”

@iFunnyMandinga “I clicked a URL and I liked it #InternetASong”

Nathalie Laflamme Editor-in-Chief editor@theconcordian.com

Milos Kovacevic News editor news@theconcordian.com

@LovemyKittyo “All You Tweet Is Love #InternetASong”

@lholow “You got blood on your FaceBook / Big disgrace /Waving your ad Banners all over the place #InternetASong”

Tuesday, March 31, 2015 Vol. 32 Issue 24

Talibah Gordon Advertising manager advertising@theconcordian.com

What can I say, the odds were against me!

Tyson Lowrie Jacob Serebin Ruben Bastien Board of directors directors@theconcordian.com

Contributors Mim Kempson, Julia Bryant, , Sam Provost-Walker, Kat D’Adamo, Kelsey Litwin, Matthew Shanahan, Jessica Romera, Zayn Malik, Katniss Everdeen, Matthew Ceviche

theconcordian

Ah, the Internet̶a fascinating place with its own norms, cultures, and lingo. Like with any other language, sometimes, a little translation is necessary. Who better than the denizens of the Internet itself? Twitter took up the torch, and one-by-one, began to #InternetASong.

Joyeux Poisson d’Avril! (That’s April Fools in English). Did you catch all the spoof articles throughout The Concordian?

Tweet us your reactions @theconcordian to let us know!

Concordia s weekly, independent student newspaper.

Have a good week !

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