The Chronicle Sex Issue, February 11, 2019

The Chronicle Presents:

SEX 2019

ISSUE

2

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

Dear reader...

E

very year The Chronicle publishes its annual Sex Issue just in time for Valentine’s Day to explore topics surrounding sex, relationships, love and everything in between. While not all of us celebrate the holiday, all of us in some way can relate to these topics. Maybe you have an embarrassing rejection story, or your parents giving you the sex talk is a moment you can remember like it was yesterday.

Maybe you’re in the process of overcoming trauma or hoping to enter a new relationship soon. Our stories and experiences are unique, but the themes explored in this issue are interwoven to connect us and prove we’re not alone.

Sex and love are often taboo topics in our society. However, the benefits of sharing this information are endless. So why keep quiet if we don’t have to? How else would we know that sex reduces stress or can boost people’s immune systems?

According to KinkD—a dating app for kinks, BDSM and fetishes—Chicago ranked third on a 2017 Top 10 list of kinkiest cities in the U.S., right behind Los Angeles and New York City. Did you know that one in five people use their phones during sex, or that being in positive relationships can lead to better sleep? How about the statistic that 15 percent of women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day? Maybe not, but the point is that this information

MANAGEMENT

exists thanks to those who realize the importance of sharing information even

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF when the rest of society may not want to.

MANAGING EDITORS As noted on Page 10, comprehensive

CREATIVE DIRECTOR sex education is important for our soci AD & BUSINESS MANAGER ety, and research exists to back it up. According to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization,

NEWS EDITOR comprehensive sex education improves

REPORTERS people’s knowledge and attitudes about sexual and reproductive health, can reduce rates of unintendend pregnancies or

OPINIONS EDITOR STIs and is most effective when parents and teachers are involved. As the old saying goes, knowledge is power.

COPY CHIEF Fortunately, our annual Sex Issue holds

COPY EDITORS nothing back. As student journalists, we’re constantly being reminded of the importance of providing information, and taboo topics are no exception.

So, wheth GRAPHIC DESIGNERS er you’re a regular Tinder user and enjoy hookups or have yet to have your first kiss

and are waiting on someone special, The Chronicle’s got you covered.

Ariana Portalatin Blaise Mesa Molly Walsh Zack Jackson Micha Thurston

REPORTERS Miranda Manier Kendall Polidori Katherine Savage Kaci Watt Alexandra Yetter Jay Berghuis

COPY Kristen Nichols Eden Bunna Margaret Smith

SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS

To see additional Sex Issue coverage

and our regular news coverage, visit ColumbiaChronicle.com.

ARIANA PORTALATIN

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

GRAPHICS Patrick Casey Grace Senior Shane Tolentino Fernanda Weissbuch

Editorials are the opinions of the Editorial Board of The Chronicle.

Columns are the opinions of the author(s).

PHOTOGRAPHY

Views expressed in this publication are those of the writer and are not the opinions of The Chronicle, Columbia’s Communication Department or Columbia College Chicago.

MULTIMEDIA Ethan Sandock Alex White

VIDEOGRAPHERS

ADVERTISING/ MARKETING

MEDIA SALES REPS

BRAND MANAGER

Letters to the editor must include full name, year, major and phone number. All letters are edited for grammar and may be cut due to a limit of space.

The Chronicle holds the right to limit any one person’s submissions to three per semester.

Breanne Jacobs Kathryn Williams Tara Woods Lauren Carlton

WEB

The Chronicle is a student-produced publication of Columbia College Chicago and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of college administrators, faculty or students.

All text, photos and graphics are the property of The Chronicle and may not be reproduced or published without written permission.

Mike Rundle Ignacio Calderon Steven Nunez Halie Parkinson Orlando Pinder Patrick Reponse

Editor’s note:

Main line: (312) 369-8999 Editor-in-Chief: (312) 369-8959 Advertising: (312) 369-8984 Creative Director: (312) 369-8960 Digital Content: (312) 369-8961 Production: (312) 369-8834 News Editor: (312) 369-8968 Copy Chief: (312) 369-8976 Webmaster: (312) 369-8894 Permission/Reproductions: (312) 369-8955 Faculty Adviser: (312) 369-8905

Jonathan Winicki

WEBMASTER

SENIOR STAFF

Travis Truitt Curtis Lawrence

GENERAL MANAGER FACULTY ADVISER

Front photo illustration by Zack Jackson, Mike Rundle & Halie Parkinson

Letters can be emailed to Chronicle@colum.edu or mailed to: @c cchronicle

» PHOTO ILLUSTRATION ZACK JACKSON, MIKE RUNDLE AND HALIE PARKINSON

@c cchronicle

Th

e Chronicle

The Columbia Chronicle 600 S. Michigan Ave. Chicago, IL. 60605

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

» SHANE TOLENTINO/CHRONICLE

STUDENT CONFESSIONS

3

MOLLY WALSH MANAGING EDITOR

Students were granted anonymity for sharing their experiences with The Chronicle.

What's the most awkward thing that has happened to you while having sex?

Do you have a kink and what is it?

“I guess everything. Cum.”

“One guy just laid there the entire time, totally lifeless, and then halfway through, one awkward slap (was) thrown in.”

“No, pretty bland in that aspect.”

“Dirty talk.”

“Falling asleep during sex, probably when I was too drunk and both of us just knocked out.”

“I was hooking up with this kid in my math class, and he came over after class one time. We had sex that lasted about one minute. When it was over he said, word for word, ‘Dude, sorry I nutted so fast. I haven’t had anytime to jack off this week. Don’t worry, I’ll get you next time.’ There was never a next time.”

“Freshman year, I had just started dating this boy.

We slept together, and he spent the night. Then in the morning, I accidentally farted myself awake. It woke him up, too. I heard him laughing, but I pretended that I was still asleep.”

“I’m a virgin.”

Because you haven’t used dating apps, what makes you most nervous about them?

“Getting abducted.”

Because you’ve never had sex, what are you most afraid of?

“I’m most afraid of the awkwardness of seeing the other person naked for the first time.”

Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?

“I was at this boy’s apartment building, and we were in the hot tub, and a security guard came out to tell us that the pool area was closed.”

“Right in the parking lot outside of Columbia. Right next to the 33 Building.”

What has been your worst experience with a dating app?

“This one guy said he was a lawyer, but he showed up in cut-offs, a ripped-up shirt and flip-flops. The entire time, he was going off on these random tangents to himself, having full conversations, doing multiple voices to himself. I didn’t know what was happening.”

“I had a really awkward date where five minutes into the date, he told me that he had showed all of his friends pictures of me and told them everything he knew about me up until that point. He told me he thinks we should get married right away and that his friends want us to get married.”

“I met up with someone who ended up being a distant cousin.”

What is the shortest amount of time you had sex?

“Probably like three minutes.”

“Maybe two to five minutes.”

“One time, I was with this guy. There was a little foreplay in the beginning, but when we actually got to having sex, it was about one second. Went in, he was like, ‘Nope,’ pulled out and he was done.”

4

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

‘THE TALK’: OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO ALEXANDRA YETTER STAFF REPORTER

WHETHER IN THE back of a

bus, on their birthday or on their childhood bed, everyone remembers their first time— their first time learning about sex, that is. A familiar story for most pubescent teenagers, the way in which one learns about sex can influence how they think about sex later in life and even dictate how they talk to their own kids about sex.

Two Columbia students—sophomore television major Skyler Daniels and sophomore cinema art and science major Corbin Eaton—retold the stories of their first times learning about the birds and the bees. From a trip to McDonald’s to general confusion on the mechanics of sex, anyone can relate.

THE CHRONICLE: How did you first get “the talk”?

EATON: It was my 13th birthday, and my family had all gone out to celebrate. I wasn’t eating at all because I was really nervous because I thought, ‘Okay, I’m 13 now, I’m going to get the talk.’

I thought it was going to be so awkward. That night, we’re walking back to the car, and I was like, ‘Can we just get it over with?’ My dad’s like, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Just tell me about sex. I’m 13 now, you have to tell me, right?’

He said, ‘No, I don’t need to tell you this.’ And I was like, ‘Okay.

Can we get McDonald’s on the way home?’ Then he told me like a week later.

DANIELS: It was when the school was supposed to tell you how sex works. I came home crying, and my parents sat down and were

like, ‘This is it. This is the sex talk.

Do you have any questions?’ One of my biggest questions was: I know the ‘stuff’ comes out of the boy, but why don’t the sheets get all wet every time? Where does it all go? Why are you not constantly cleaning up after?’ And my mom looked like she [was] disassociating, and she said, ‘Skyler, the penis goes inside the vagina,’ and I [went], ‘WHAT?!’ She said, ‘How could you possibly have had the sex talk at school and they neglected to tell you that the penis goes inside the vagina? What did you think happened?’ ‘That the penis shot out and you just sat in the juice!’ My mom said: ‘Shut up. Apparently Kansas has failed us. I’m going to tell you how sex works. Right here. Right now. Using my hands as diagrams.’

Where did you fill in your sex education holes?

EATON: Porn. My friends would be in middle school like, ‘Hey, look at this.’ I

would just realize, ‘Oh, people are into that, that’s interesting.’ But the talk was very basic—‘It goes in there and then boom.’ I used to think it was just peeing when I was a kid, so I was like, ‘I’m going to drink a lot of water before I sleep with my wife.’

DANIELS: I learned how [Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism] works from my mom. My mom got weirdly into “50 Shades of Grey,” ... and then I was over here getting mad because ... I heard that it was abusive. She sat me down and told me how BDSM works. Inside my head I was like,

» FERNANDA WEISSBUCH/CHRONICLE

‘Mom, please tell me you know all of this because of your prolific book knowledge.’ [But] my mom can’t for the life of her figure out how lesbian sex works. She was like, ‘Is there tickling involved?

Where would I even start?’ I was like, ‘First of all, you’d have to take off your acrylics.’ So that’s the one aspect of sex I educated my mom about.

How would you explain “the talk” to your kid?

DANIELS: I would get my mom on the phone.

How has “the talk” impacted your current sex life?

EATON: [Religion] has always affected my view of sex. When I told my mom I lost my virginity— which was at Columbia during a tour because they were giving out condoms—holy sh*t, it was great.

She cried. We’re very open now.

DANIELS: Maybe learning how sex works from my mom made sex awkward for me. ayetter@columbiachronicle.com

$5 OFF A D M IS SI ON wi th t h is A D : 5/31/19

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

GESTURES WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: BODY LANGUAGE AND DATING KATHERINE SAVAGE STAFF REPORTER

about the awkwardness or making the other person feel uncomfortable. It’s OK to be rude if you’re feeling like whatever is happening is not what you want.”

Sophomore arts management major Madeline McCarthy said she does not mind speaking up and telling someone when she feels uneasy.

“I’m very open, so I’ll probably just straight up tell them I’m not interested in them, versus playing games,” McCarthy said. “It is [beneficial] because then they get the message. You’re not wasting your time, and you’re not wasting their time.”

A study was conducted by Professor Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles during the ‘60s about first impressions and body language. It showed that verbal conversation accounts for 7 percent of first impressions, tone of voice accounts

it is helpful to do research, and she tells her clients to videotape themselves answering questions to watch their nonverbal movements.

“Get educated on it. Read. Hire someone to help you,” Gandhi said. “All of these things are teachable, and they’re important.”

» SHANE TOLENTINO/CHRONICLE

WHEN OUT AT a bar or coffee shop, friends often have a “save me” signal to use when someone approaches and starts an unwanted conversation. This expression is a clear indication they want out of the situation.

Josh Hetherington, a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Chicago Center for Relationship Counseling, said it is important for women to have a signal to get out of uncomfortable situations.

Sometimes people will not pick up on body language cues or will keep trying to pursue a woman after she has tried to convey her discomfort, so having someone come and help could be beneficial, Hetherington said.

This could be avoided if people paid closer attention to body language, according to

Hetherington and others who study relationships.

“Our brains are designed to understand what it means when somebody glares at you or when somebody turns their back on you,” Hetherington said. “Trust your first impression with that body language, and respect people’s body language.”

Common signs that someone is uncomfortable include being closed-in with their body, avoiding eye contact, slightly turning away or touching their neck a lot, said Bela Gandhi, founder of Smart Dating Academy, a service that teaches people how to find longterm partners.

But when their body language is ignored, Hetherington encourages women to speak up.

“A lot of women can be socialized to not just [say], ‘Get away from me, I’m uncomfortable,’” Hetherington said. “Don’t worry

for 38 percent and body language accounts for 55 percent.

Junior early childhood education major Suzannah Meza said she fidgets when she is uncomfortable and notices others do as well.

“I try to make people very comfortable when talking to me, so when I notice [they seem uncomfortable], I start to either talk more or ask them questions,” Meza said.

Sophomore arts management major Audrey Huyghe said conversation is just as important as body language. To show she is not interested, Huyghe said she will turn the conversation to other things, such as her friends or other plans.

Body language is not only used when it comes to dating and meeting people; it also is vital in everyday life, such as for job interviews, Gandhi said.

During different interactions, Gandhi said to step back and look at how people are perceiving you.

If people seem to be backing away from the conversation, reflect on yourself in order to learn what you can work on. She added that

5

ksavage@columbiachronicle.com

BURLESQUE FOR EVERY BODY

6

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

REJECTION: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Blaise Mesa, managing editor

Lindsay Hampton, sophomore interdisciplinary major

“In middle school on Valentine’s Day, I made origami hearts, and each one had a separate message for this guy I was super into. I figured out his class schedule and found a friend in every single class to give him an origami heart each period. I was going to meet up with him during lunch. The last heart said, ‘Meet me here,’ but he never showed.”

KACI WATT STAFF REPORTER Sara Haynes, therapist at Relationship Reality 312 What are healthy ways to handle rejection?

“Surrounding yourself [with] friends and family who know you, even journaling and reflecting on the rejection that happened. Just taking care of yourself and getting out and doing the things you already love can build you up after experiencing a rejection.”

“I was dating someone for a year and a half, and it was our senior prom, so I had bought us both tickets. A week before prom, I give her the tickets, and she said, ‘Guess what? I’m going with someone else.’ She gave me my ticket [back], so I was able to go. But she took the ticket I paid for her to go, [worth] like $75, and took some [other] guy.”

What are some unhealthy ways people deal with rejection?

Dalin Nelson, sophomore cinema arts and science major “I was in 4th grade. I liked this girl for a couple years, [but] I didn’t have the courage to actually ask her out. So I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to her. We were alone, so it wasn’t like I was secretly asking her, I totally could have done it in person. But I handed her the note, and [it said], ‘Hey, I like you, want to go out?’ She said, ‘No, sorry, I don’t feel that way.’”

“A lot of negative self-talk can pop into your mind like, ‘Why me?’ [or] ‘What did I do wrong?’ It’s important to be able to shift your perspective and think about all the positive qualities you bring to the table to quiet that negative self-talk that occurs when rejection happens. Be compassionate toward yourself and remember that you deserve to be chosen when it comes to dating.”

What should someone avoid doing when rejecting someone?

“Skirting around the actual conversation that needs to be had. Ghosting is very prevalent—ignoring the person and not giving them that direct answer that needs to be said and the conversation that needs to be had. Ignoring it exacerbates the situation and brings on those negative feelings. Just be honest and direct.” kwatt@columbiachronicle.com

Alexis Erey, sophomore cinema art and science major “My best friend in high school told me he really liked me. I had to figure out the best way to explain to him that I love him, I really do, but it’s just not like that. Also because he was my best friend, I didn’t want to lose him. I told him no, and for a week, he was quiet. But then right after that, we were right back on the same page, the same thing as always, if not closer. I still call him once a week.”

Fernanda Weissbuch, graphic designer

Bridget Ekis, staff reporter “In [the] summer of 2017, I matched with this guy on Tinder, and we went on one date. I remember following up after the date; I was texting him. I always try and figure out what these Tinder boys are up to. He casually was like, ‘Well, I’m taking this math class this summer, and it’s really stressful. I just don’t think, at this time in my life, I have enough time to dedicate to a relationship.’ Conclusion: A boy picked Calculus over me.”

“I dated this guy when I was 15, he was a little older, like 18, [and] he broke up with me.

A couple years later, he asked to see me again, and I said, ‘No, I don’t want to see you.’ He said he felt bad about how we ended, and [that he’d] like to potentially get back together. I said no, and something snapped in him. [He said], ‘I bled on your front porch. I got stabbed at a party, and I went to your house’—but I didn’t live there anymore. [He continued and said], ‘I had to call 911, and I got arrested.’ It is true because I did get a call from [him in] jail. I said, ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry?’ I blocked him, and I never talked to him again.”

» GR

ACE

S

R/ ENIO

CHR

ONIC

LE

Tracy Marasigan, sophomore multimedia journalism major “I was on Tinder, and I didn’t have a plan to meet up with anyone. I started messaging this guy, and I gave him my number and everything. I stated before that I just wanted to be friends. We didn’t talk for two days, and [then] he went, ‘Hey, you’re like the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I just really want to take you out to a nice restaurant. You wear something nice, and I’ll wear something nice. I’ll pick you up, and we’ll go out and have a great, grand time.’ I said, ‘Lol you’re a nice guy. I don’t really want to be with anyone right now. Thanks, but no thanks.’ And then he said, ‘K b---- bye.’”

7

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

Now Playing

First Kiss Anthems

Your first kiss might have sounded a little like this... » MARGARET SMITH COPY EDITOR

“Girlfriend”

The Strokes

“Won’t Go Home Without You”

Drake

“Love On Top”

Maroon 5 Colbie Caillat

“I’m Yours”

Avril Lavigne

“Find Your Love”

Chance The Rapper

“Bubbly”

Jason Mraz

Beyoncé

“Love Like Woe” “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” “Breakeven”

“Thunder”

Yellowcard

Usher ft. Pitbull

“Check Yes, Juliet”

We The Kings Weezer

“Only Girl” “Teenage Dream”

Rihanna Katy Perry

“My First Kiss” “Knock You Down” “Good Girls Go Bad”

3OH!3 Keri Hilson Cobra Starship

DELILAH’S 2771 N. Lincoln * (773) 472-2771

PUNK ROCK MONDAYS

OUT AT WORK

Treats from Marley’s Sweets will be served for Valentines Day!

The Front Bottoms

“With You Around”

Careering while

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 2-4 PM COLLEGE LIBRARY, 624 S MICHIGAN, 3RD FLOOR

Boys Like Girls

“(If You’re Wondering...”

Boys Like Girls

» MICHA THURSTON AD & BUSINESS MANAGER

The Ready Set

The Script

Avril Lavigne

Adele

“Maps”

Panic! At the Disco We The Kings

“Make You Feel My Love”

“The Great Escape”

The Veronicas

“Check Yes, Juliet” “Complicated”

“Naturally”

Jason Mraz

“Lying Is the Most Fun...”

Ne-Yo

» MIKE RUNDLE SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Selena Gomez & the Scene

“Untouched”

“Because of You”

» SHANE TOLENTINO GRAPHIC DESIGNER

“Lucky”

» MIRANDA MANIER NEWS EDITOR

» KATHRYN WILLIAMS MEDIA SALES REP

“You Talk Way Too Much” “Lost”

Listen to all the tracks at http://open.spotify.com/user/thecolumbiachronicle

SPEAKERS: Levar Hoard, Chief Curator and Managing Director, The B_Line AJ Johnson, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Lead Expert, Braintree Join in as we discuss what it means to be “Out at Work” and the myriad ways people can approach being out (or not) and be validated.

Complete an interactive assessment on whether it’s safe to come out in your particular workplace and we’ll discuss the best places to work (in Chicago and abroad) when you are LGBTQIA+.

Register on Handshake

$1 American Beer

$2 Jim Beam Free Pool !!!

Check Out More Events

I N PA R T N E R S H I P W I T H : Career Center Library Student Diversity and Inclusion

Delilahschicago.com

8

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

BUSINESS AND CASUAL:

THE LIFE OF A SUGAR BABY ORLANDO PINDER STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

1

LOGAN CRUZ GOT kicked out of her dad’s house when she was 18. She then moved to the West Side and had to walk two miles to her first job at Forever Yogurt and an additional mile to her second job at Jimmy John’s. Down on her finances, Cruz started dancing at a strip club. There, she heard co-workers discussing a new employment opportunity: being a sugar baby. ”I’ll meet up at a bar or something, grab dinner, drinks and then usually we end up getting a room.”

According to dating website Seeking Arrangements, a sugar baby, often college-aged, is an individual with an appetite for a relationship filled with new experiences. Unlike prostitutes, sugar babies choose whether the relationship includes sex.

3

2

DESIGN BY: ZACK JACKSON

9

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE According to Cruz (her stage name), now 23, being a sugar baby is a paid relationship, but both parties try to make it feel as genuine as possible. For Cruz, that means building a friendship first.

“You have men who are looking for a connection, for an escape, for somebody to make them feel good,” Cruz said. “It’s good for me, too, because I get that break where I forget about the rest of the world.”

Many people Cruz makes arrangements with prefer to keep their anonymity. Some are businessmen who fear losing their jobs, and others are married and fear losing their relationship. To maintain discretion, one sugar daddy even flew her to Las Vegas during a business trip.

Before meeting with her clients, she usually sends a message explaining how much compensation she expects and what she is and is not comfortable with in the bedroom.

Cruz said she is well aware of the risks that come with sex work but takes extra precaution to avoid harm. She always meets potential partners at a public place first. When the two go somewhere private, she texts a friend and lets them know where she will be and when she will be done.

“If this goes seriously wrong, I might never be seen ever again,” Cruz said.

Despite the possibility of danger and the negative opinions of other people, she enjoys the job.

During a date, Cruz is a different version of herself. She enjoys stepping into a different headspace and forgetting about her real life. Some nights she is a leathered-up dominatrix, and other nights she is dressed as a business woman.

“I know people are going to look down on it,” Cruz said. “I enjoy my time, and I like being able to have the extra income to count on. I could definitely see myself doing it for a long time.”

5

4

1

“I think people take sex too seriously...that’s why they can’t wrap their head around the idea that people would do that for work.”

2

Cruz shows her sugar baby profile. The website has the option to blur her face, but she can share private photos if she chooses to.

3

Cruz plays with her snakes, Bonnie and Clyde. The reptiles accompany her during some performances.

4

“It’s a character. In the real world, I’m quiet, I’m shy. I don’t wear makeup; I never do my hair.”

5

A tattoo on Cruz’s back that she feels inspires positivity in those who read it.

6

Cruz practices pole dancing in her cluttered living room.

6

10

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

‘SEX EDUCATION’ MUST GO BEYOND NETFLIX

N

ew Netflix show “Sex Ed- ligious affiliation, socioeconomic ucation,” released Jan. 11, status and more. follows the life of a teenage According to the Guttmacher boy whose mother is a sex ther- Institute, more than half of stuapist, and covers topics ranging dents report receiving no formal from masturbation, premature instruction about birth control, ejaculation and wet dreams to and many of those students teen pregnancy and homophobia. learned nothing about sexual Programs like “Sex Educa- safety before engaging in sex tion”—which offers an unflinch- themselves. Fewer than 6 percent ing and nuanced take on teen of LGBTQ teens reported having sexuality—ends up serving a hid- any formal education about sexuden purpose: filling in the gaps ality or gender identity. Sexuality young people are left with when is a normal part of adult life, and their education and comrefusing to teach munity fail them. it thoroughly and The quality and accurately fails frequency of students in need. sexual education Sexual educastudents receive tion should bein the U.S. varies gin as early as drastically based possible with ICL E on geography, reage-appropriO/CHRON IN T N E L O » SH A NE

T

ate lessons. The idea that children are innocent until their parents teach them about sex is an outdated fantasy. Kids are curious about their bodies, relationships and sexuality from an early age.

Not only do they ask questions, but they have more access than ever to sexual content beyond their mental capacity.

Adults need to be willing to initiate and respond to conversations; young people should not be left to their own devices when it comes to seeking critical information. It may be embarrassing and awkward to acknowledge the sexuality of teenagers, but it is necessary to provide information so they can become healthy and successful adults.

Right now, the sexual education system in the U.S. is compro-

mised by religion and outdated information. Society has tethered sexuality to shame and is pushing that message onto young people. In many places, girls are taught they are like a piece of gum that gets chewed every time they have sex.

There are states where abstinence is presented as the only option to a room full of students who are already having unprotected sex. It is no coincidence that the states with the highest teen pregnancy rates are also those with laws that enforce abstinence-only sex education. Whether we want to admit it or not, teenagers are having sex, and they need to be empowered with information. Students who know their options will be able to make safer choices.

Society needs to undo the generational inaccuracies and injustices being perpetuated to chil-

EDITORIAL dren. There must be at least a baseline of education that every child in America receives covering consent, birth control, STDs, sexuality and gender. Young people come to school from all different backgrounds.

Some will have parents with whom they are close to and can engage in supportive conversations with about sexuality. But others will come from situations where they are offered nothing but what they see on Netflix. Nobody should be shamed or stigmatized in the classroom, and nobody should be forced to go into adulthood without knowledge of their own body and sexuality. To keep our sexual education system stagnant is to acknowledge, embrace and perpetuate a massive failure for generations to come. chronicle@colum.edu

COMMENTARY

STRIP THE LABELS AWAY FROM POLE DANCING LAUREN CARLTON BRAND MANAGER

D

would post pictures and videos of themselves dancing with the tag #notastripper. In response, strippers began posting their photos and videos with #yesastripper.

Dancing for fitness or stripping are equally valid. There does not need to be a separation between the two, but rather a removal of the labels altogether.

Dancers should be allowed to express themselves and make art without fear of judgment. It is time for pole dancing to be treated the same as other genres of dance. Pole dancing takes technique, rehearsal, strength and talent. It is a skill that individuals work to perfect and build upon through endless hours of practice.

It is something to be proud of. It is beautiful, not taboo.

Kristen Nichols Copy Chief Eden Bunna Copy Editor Shane Tolentino Graphic Designer Steven Nunez Staff Photographer Patrick Reponse Staff Photographer

Ethan Sandock Videographer Alex White Videographer Lauren Carlton Brand Manager Jonathan Winicki Webmaster

I have taken pole dance classes for more than a year, and I dance for myself. Pole dancing empowers me and allows me to freely express my sexuality. It makes me feel good, strong and allows me to make art while exploring my body. Pole dancing is a skill I am proud to have. The strength and

confidence I have gained from dancing is something I am incredibly thankful for. In the end, all that matters is how an individual chooses to express themselves, and whatever choice they make deserves equal respect. lcarlton@columbiachronicle.com » STEVEN NUNEZ/CHRONICLE

ance is a form of self-expression that emphasizes self-awareness and viewing yourself as art. However, being in touch with your body and body movement is often sexualized.

Some forms of dance, such as pole dancing, are sexualized more than others.

Dancers tell stories with their bodies, and those stories are usually seen as beautiful. However, when you take the same graceful, controlled movements and put them on a pole, society views it as wrong and sexualizes it.

Pole dancing is often stigmatized as “dirty” or something

“strippers do.” We need to destigmatize pole dancing, but in order to do that, we must first destigmatize stripping and stop viewing it as something that places a person below others in society. Once the shame placed on strippers is removed, we can start to see pole dancing for what it really is: art.

Pole dancing should first and foremost be viewed as a form of dance, self-expression and empowerment. Whether it’s done for stripping or fitness should be considered secondary and up to the dancer.

According to a March 2018 Tonic article, a hashtag trending on Instagram in 2015 caused a divide between strippers and people who used pole dancing for fitness. Fitness-focused dancers

Carlton takes pole dance classes regularly at The Brass Ring, 2539 W. North Ave.

Editorial Board Members Jay Berghuis Opinions Editor Micha Thurston Ad & Business Manager Kaci Watt Staff Reporter Katherine Savage Staff Reporter Kendall Polidori Staff Reporter

DID YOU CATCH A MISTAKE, THINK WE COULD HAVE COVERED A STORY BETTER OR HAVE STRONG BELIEFS ABOUT AN ISSUE THAT FACES ALL OF US HERE AT COLUMBIA? WHY NOT WRITE A LETTER TO THE EDITOR? AT THE BOTTOM OF PAGE 2, YOU’LL FIND A SET OF GUIDELINES ON HOW TO DO THIS. LET US HEAR FROM YOU.—THE CHRONICLE EDITORIAL BOARD

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE COMMENTARY

FEMALE AND MALE BODIES MUST BE TREATED EQUALLY KRISTEN NICHOLS COPY CHIEF

» PATR ICK CA SE Y/CH RONICL E

DURING SUPER BOWL LIII’s halftime show, Maroon 5’s lead singer Adam Levine took off his shirt, and the internet went wild.

In 2004, much of the public also went wild when Janet Jackson’s right breast was exposed for less than a second during her halftime performance with Justin Timberlake, resulting in the scandal known as “Nipplegate.” Reports differ on whether or not this was planned or a violation of her consent. NFL executive Jim Steeg felt her nudity was disrespectful; halftime producer Salli Frattini critiqued Jack-

son for not handling the situation better; and the FCC attempted to fine CBS, though the courts overturned it, according to a Jan. 31, 2018, USA Today article.

The core of this issue lies in the way sexualization of male bodies

is viewed positively and met with praise, while the sexualization of female bodies is viewed negatively, often involving condemnation.

Women’s sexual expressions are used to shame and discredit them in ways that rarely, if ever, apply to men. “Nipplegate” is just one amplified example that shows how uncomfortable people are with nipples when they are a part of a female body, though humans have nipples regardless of gender.

There is nothing naturally dirty about the human body; sexualization occurs through the societal perceptions we have conceived.

Deeming semi-nude women disrespectful while cheering for a semi-nude man is all part of a harmful construct that patriarchy has built. This construct needs to be reevaluated and changed.

The current culture affects all women, beyond celebrities in

the public eye to sex workers and breastfeeding mothers.

When Tumblr banned adult content from its site in December 2018, “female-presenting” nipples were listed among prohibited content, according to Tumblr’s Help Center. These restrictions shut down sex workers who used the platform as steady sources of income to host videos, streams or photos in what they felt was a safe space to build their brands and create a following, as discussed in a Dec. 6, 2018, TeenVogue article. Tumblr’s ban took away work, changing the lives of women who embraced their own sexuality and sent clear messages of disapproval and dismissal.

This censorship comes from perpetuated ideas of women’s breasts only existing in a sexualized context. Female nipples should be recognized as non-sexualized anatomical parts and should exist in a culture that doesn’t make value judgments on women’s sexuality.

Jackson’s “Nipplegate” was an outrage because her body was

11

exposed when those with authority, such as NFL executives and the FCC, deemed it unacceptable. No one took into account Jackson’s consent, which is blurry; they simply punished her for going against their conventions. If Jackson knowingly exposed her nipple, she owned her sexuality instead of waiting for their permission to be sexualized, resulting in her being blacklisted and treated differently by the public and the music industry, according to an Oct. 23, 2017, Billboard article. But when Adam Levine removed his shirt this past Sunday, the response to his male privilege and expression of sexuality was positive.

This double standard is archaic and appalling. In the Me Too era of listening to women and holding abusers accountable, suppression of feminine sexuality must stop. Female forms must exist without being policed before we can experience equality. knichols@columbiachronicle.com

COMMENTARY

ASSAULT AFFECTS EVERY DAY GRACE SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER

know that trauma shows itself in non-sexual situations. I had a plan for what to say if I was in a romantic situation and became uncomfortable, but I never thought I would need to say something in nonromantic situations. The impact of assault rarely stops at sex and affects every relationship.

Not long after I told one of my best friends what happened, she asked if she could hug me. That question hit me so hard. She was letting me know I was in control of my body and that it was OK not to want intimacy. For so long, it felt like asking not to be touched made me seem abrasive, unaffectionate, or as though I didn’t trust that person.

It is possible to accept someone’s love without physicality. It is important to be able to show love without touch. Asking if a loved one wants to be touched shows you care about them. Intimacy after sexual assault is hard to navigate, but continuing this conversation will help. gsenior@columbiachronicle.com

» GRACE SENIOR/CHRONICLE

I FIRST EXPERIENCED sexual assault at 16 years old, and I stayed in the relationship for almost two years after the fact. I didn’t realize I had been experiencing sexual assault until three months after the relationship ended, and even then I had no idea how to handle it.

I did not know how to tell the people I was close to that I didn’t want them to hug me or even pat me on the shoulder; sometimes those well-meaning gestures brought up the fear and emotional damage assault left me with. I searched for stories of other survivors to see if I could find any way to help others understand my lack of desire for intimacy.

When the Me Too era took off, I was sure I’d see more advocacy for understanding intimacy after trauma, but, despite all the good that has come from the conversation, there are still gaping holes surrounding the healing process.

So much of what I have seen in

regards to helping women heal after sexual assault has to do with returning to their previous comfort. Plenty of advice stresses returning to a regular sex life as if nothing happened.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting sex, but we need to talk about the dayto-day encounters that leave us panicking and reliving our worst fears. Trauma lingers for a long time after assault and invades everyday encounters. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, one in six women are sexually assaulted, and 94 percent of sexual assault survivors experience symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Some symptoms include being easily frightened, being on guard for danger, being irritable, having angry outbursts or aggressive behavior, and experiencing overwhelming guilt or shame, according to the Mayo Clinic.

These symptoms hit home and impact daily life, but PTSD is rarely included in the conversation about sexual assault. I did not

12

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

VIOLENT CRIMINALS: THEY’RE JUST LIKE US JAY BERGHUIS OPINIONS EDITOR

ICL E

VillainArts.com

R ON

COME GET TATTOOED

H /C H

Donald E Stephens Convention Center 5555 N River Rd, Rosemont, IL 60018

SBU C

March 22nd - 24th 2019

W EI S

Convention

NDA

Tattoo

RN A

complimented his intelligence during his murder trial.

We routinely allow privilege to excuse the inexcusable. According to a Feb. 17, 2018, New York Times article, the majority of mass shootings are committed by white men. Still, reports on shootings refer to them as “lone shooters” and refuse to acknowledge the undeniable pattern of privilege that encourages violence.

It is a reality in our culture that some young, white men feel disenfranchised by growing movements for social equality for women and people of color.

Large online subcultures are dedicated to blaming feminism and racial equality movements for society’s ills, including the Red Pill movement—an anti-feminist group which sees feminism as “cancer”—and Incels—a subcul-

ture that Isla Vista mass shooter Elliot Rodger belonged to, which is centered around the idea that male violence against women is justified because women refuse to have sex with men. A world that does not preserve their privilege feels undeniably threatening.

Sexist and racist ideologies that lead to violence make logical sense to the people who ascribe to them, otherwise they would not be followed.

Bundy was smart and working through law school. Acting as though people who are capable of brutality exist outside of our world, somewhere on an undefined “far right” that we never have to engage with, is a mistake.

These people sit in our classrooms and offices. If we refuse to confront hateful worldviews just because those who hold them » FE

FROM NETFLIX RELEASING the documentary series “The Bundy Tapes” Jan. 24 to Zac Efron’s new film “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile,” which premiered at Sundance Jan. 26, Ted Bundy is everywhere in the media. Bundy and other white, attractive male criminals sit at the center of public fascination.

The choice to focus on violent maniacs is often criticized for romanticizing and normalizing their actions. Criminals are presented as endearing, charming and successful. When women swoon over them, think pieces such as Affinity Magazine’s

“Please stop fetishizing serial killers” and Mashable’s “Can we please stop casting hot actors as psychopaths?” abound.

Such criticisms ignore an important piece of the puzzle. These shows and movies have one glaring fact in common: Their stars are almost entirely male, white, heterosexual and upper class.

We often refuse to view these people as criminals, but the social status they hold is an integral part of their storylines. It is the reason why we continue to excuse them. If Bundy had been black, I doubt he would have been able to escape police custody, and I doubt the judge would have

COMMENTARY have societal power, we are playing into the hand of violence.

Real-life violent criminals are just like Dexter Morgan and Norman Bates. They are the people we look at and write off as non-threatening because our culture trains us to equate privilege with success.

The first step toward ending this violence is to recognize it when it stares us in the face.

Society cannot dismiss the charming, attractive men in our lives as “not the type.” Overwhelmingly, the “type” is exactly who we are writing off.

The choice to cast attractive young men like Zac Efron is not dishonest or romanticizing; it is exactly what we need to see. We need to internalize the fact that violence comes from people we want to trust and whom we have put up on a pedestal. jberghuis@columbiachronicle.com

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

KNOW THE BASICS OF TITLE IX CHRONICLE STAFF COLLEGE ADMINISTRATIONS ARE becoming more proactive toward sexual assault awareness, and committees are working hard to educate about prevention. However, Title IX investigations continue to be a serious concern on college campuses. Here are frequently asked questions from students.

WHAT IS TITLE IX? Title IX, a section of the Education Amendments Act of 1972, is a nationwide policy that prohibits discrimination based on sex. The law puts more pressure on schools to create policies and procedures.

WHAT ARE COLUMBIA’S POLICIES AND PROCEDURES? The Student Sexual Misconduct Policy and Procedure, launched in fall 2014, states the college’s

commitment to “maintaining an environment that respects the dignity of its students, faculty and staff and is free from discrimination of any kind.”

to the policy. The college recommends that if an experience doesn’t fall under one of these categories, the student should still report the incident if it caused discomfort.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY FORM OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT?

DOES IT MATTER WHERE THE SITUATION TOOK PLACE?

The reporting individual should first go to a safe place, then call either 911 for the police or (312) 3691111 for Campus Safety & Security, according to the policy. If needed, the individual should receive medical attention as soon as possible at the nearest hospital.

WHAT IF YOU DON’T KNOW IF YOUR SITUATION FALLS UNDER THE POLICY? Sexual misconduct includes, but is not limited to, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, sexual violence and stalking, according

The policy covers situations that occurr on or off campus at any Columbia-related event or activity.

It also covers incidents not sponsored by the college, especially if the person experiences the same effects of the misconduct while on campus.

WHO DO YOU REPORT YOUR SITUATION TO? WHAT IF YOU WANT TO STAY ANONYMOUS? There are many ways to report sexual misconduct depending on your comfort level, preferences and confidentiality needs, according to the policy. Incidents can be

reported to “responsible employees,” which includes all faculty and staff, “non-professional counselors and advocates” or “confidential resources.” Responsible employees must report the incident, which then starts a formal investigation.

Non-professional counselors and advocates must report the incident to the coordinator, but can keep the individual anonymous. Disclosing an incident to a non-professional counselor does not initiate an investigation.

The college’s non-professional counselor and advocate is Associate Dean of Student Life Kari Sommers.

Confidential resources, which include Counseling Services, licensed therapists in the Student Relations office and the Health Center, are strictly confidential and do not require any type of investigation unless requested by the

13

individual. The confidential advisor is Director of Student Organizations & Leadership Orterio Villa.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU ARE A BYSTANDER? Bystanders should report the incident to the college so it can be properly investigated. They may report it anonymously using the college’s whistleblower service at (844) 4068158 or at Colum.EthicsPoint.com.

HOW CAN I GET INVOLVED? The Sexual Assault Awareness Education Committee, made up of staff and students, helps educate the college community about sexual assault and Title IX with its annual Consent Rocks event, along with several other events during Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April.

To join, email titleix@colum.edu.

chronicle@colum.edu

NO DRINK MINIMUM • ALL AGES

$15 R

$10 IM

PROV

IMPRO USE CODE ST V SHO WS M UDENT ON ON @ L 8PM & INE FOR FRI / S AT @

11PM

SOLD

SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY

USH T

IX

AT BO XO ONE H FFICE WIT H OUR B EFOR VALID STU D E SHO W TIM ENT ID, E

SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY

14

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

THE SEX ISSUE THE CHRONICLE

Be OUTspoken at LGBTQ storytelling event KENDALL POLIDORI STAFF REPORTER

to perform.

“I’m always surprised at how open people are about what they want to share at OUTspoken,” Jamjun said. “The room is filled with love and acceptance. It’s packed with 200 people ready to hear these stories and cheer people on.”

The stories at OUTspoken range from personal traumatic events to comedic or entertaining experiences.

For 11 months of the year, >> HALIE PARKINSON/CHRONICLE

ON THE FIRST Tuesday of every month, members of Chicago’s LGBTQ community and its allies transform a popular Boystown bar into a creative space where they tell personal stories they would not otherwise share.

OUTspoken, which met most recently Feb. 5, is led by David Fink and Archy Jamjun and is held at Sidetrack, 3349 N. Halsted St. The club alters its Main and Cherry bars into a storytelling paradise with six storytellers broken up by one intermission.

There is no charge to attend the event, but audience members must be 21 or older.

More than 300 people have told their stories in the past four years at OUTspoken, one of the first LGBTQ storytelling shows in Chicago. The event strives to represent at least two different demographic groups of people within the LGBTQ community to

celebrate diversity.

Jamjun was a former storyteller at OUTspoken and has been curating the event since last year.

“It’s a great chance for people in the gay community to share their stories and also to see people who professionally [tell stories],” Jamjun said. “It’s a good mix of everyday people and performers.”

Jamjun said about 70 percent of the time people who go to the show become inspired and want

Ally speaker Emily Calvo, left, takes the stage at the OUTspoken event held Feb. 5 at Sidetrack, 3349 N. Halsted St.

the storytellers at OUTspoken must be part of the LGBTQ community themselves. November, however, is known as Ally Month, when people who are friends or relatives are invited to share.

Emily Calvo, a writer, artist and ally, spoke Feb. 5 on behalf of her late father who was gay and recorded the last 23 years of his life on audio cassette tapes before he passed in 2000.

Calvo is in the process of writing her first memoir about her father and shared a chapter from her book during the event.

“There are so many judgements about LGBTQ parenting,” Calvo said. “From a daughter’s perspective, my dad and I were really close. He was a great dad for me, even though he was far from perfect. He lived a double life for a really long time.”

Calvo said it is important for people to know these stories and to familiarize themselves with other communities.

“It helps a lot to build bridges.

We all have so much more in common than not,” Calvo said.

15

Fink, OUTspoken’s artistic director and co-founder, said the event’s name relates directly to its mission of making LGBTQ voices heard.

“For themostpart,itisjustspokenword,” Fink said. “[There are] no costumes, no props, no gimmicks. Just tell the story and be sincere. Hopefully when a person is done, you feel like you know them.”

Fink said everyone who attends the event takes in the stories differently, depending on their life experiences, but there is value to all of it.

OUTspoken is in the process of expanding the show and has been featured in other events such as Lifeline Theatre’s annual Fillet of Solo Festival held at 6912 N. Glenwood Ave. “Everybody has stories, and if you can think about your life and think about things that were impactful, I would encourage [you] to share [your] stories,” Fink said. “Stories are important; our history is important; and our journeys are important.” kpolidori@columbiachronicle.com

The Music Center at Columbia College Chicago 1014 S. Michigan Avenue

M u s i c

D e p a r t m e n t

Wednesday February 13 Wednesday Noon Guitar Concert Series at the Conaway

Elevated Chicago 4 A’s Advertising Mixer

Join Elevated for an evening of networking with some of the best in the Chicago ad industry.

There is no formal presentation, just fun stationsww, conversations, and food. You may come and go as you please.

Drop by the Career Center on Friday, February 15 from 10AM-2PM to have your resume reviewed before you attend!

Event Highlights: • Q&A Panel • Resume/ portfolio and interview tips • A look inside Chicago’s thriving advertising industry • Networking with peers and professionals in the industry • Free food

When: Tuesday, February 19.

6:00-8:30pm Where: 1104 S Wabash 8th Floor Chicago, IL 60605 Information: elevatedchi.com @elevatedchi

Register at colum.joinhandshake.com

Friday February 15 Voice Faculty Recital

E v e n t s

12:00 pm

1:00 pm

= s p u k o o H

Visit www.squirt.org to hook up today