Your Success - Mind Matters: Two Types of Fears

MIND MATTERS TWO TYPES OF FEARS 1

FEARS 2 TYPES OF FEARS AUTHENTIC FEARS Authentic fears are your actual anger.

UNREAL FEARS Unreal fears are perceived based on one of these three fears: 1. I’M NOT LOVED. 2. I’M NOT ENOUGH. 3. I DON’T BELONG. Fears keep us “safe” from risking defeat, being made a fool of, being judged, finding out we’re not who we think we are. Some people let the fear stop them – they believe their situation is permanent, and thus feel they are without a choice...

To change this, think of all things as temporary, and see yourself as able to learn how to manage.

We make the choice to feel the fear and do it anyway!

WE ARE HERE TO BE THE BEST EXAMPLE OF OURSELVES, NOT TO LIVE IN THE SHADOWS OF OUR IMAGINATIONS! Our fears can often be a way of not facing another area of our life, or the same area but a different issue. For example, if we stop ourselves because of ‘fear of not being enough’ we can be protecting ourselves from rejection by others.

TECHNIQUES TO FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY o

NLP Submodalities – Distance, Calm, Small, Clown Voice, Circus Music

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Thank it and do it anyway.

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When you catch yourself imagining the worst…pause…and think about the outcome you actually want.

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Spend time cultivating images and ideas of things going well – Rehearsal!

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Rather than saying, ‘I hope…’ say instead, ‘I wonder…’

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Create the physiology of calm and centred and rehearse this.

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Change your belief that you can’t change to one where you are a phenomenal learner.

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Practice Dissociation.

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The more we worry about how people perceive us, the more we’re judging others.

To solve this, we must learn what we truly care about – OUR PURPOSE, OUR VALUES, OUR TRUTHS – so we see beyond the superficial and to who the person truly is.

Now pick an area of your life you’re not in love with.

ASK YOURSELF… o

What are your fears about this area?

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What are you afraid you can’t do? Can’t handle? Can’t face?

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Is the fear real? or Is it unreal?

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Do you want this area of your life to be different? or Are you comfortable with not being in love with it, and leaving it as it is?

Make sure you pick an area of your life that means something to you and that you would value changing.

ASK YOURSELF… o

Where are you hiding?

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What is this problem protecting you from having to handle (perhaps another area of your life)?

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What does this fear prevent you from experiencing?

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If you didn’t have this fear, what would you have instead?

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If you keep this fear, what will it cost you?

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What has someone else done in this area who loves this area of their life, which you are afraid to do?

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If you could see this already accomplished, or different to how it is now, how do you feel?

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What did it take to complete this or resolve this?

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Is there someone you need to stop pleasing?

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Take a moment to imagine this area of your life and see it as it is right now. And bring the image you’ve created in your mind closer to you and make the image bigger.

ASK YOURSELF… o

Did your feelings of fear diminish or become stronger?

You’re not learning how your mind works. Where we locate our fears can heighten or diminish them.

Now take that same image, and move it further away. Make it smaller. Grey out the edges. Add soft music. Add kind words said with Sean Connery’s voice (and if you don’t know who that is, you are missing out!).

ASK YOURSELF… o

What just happened?

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Did you feel the fear diminish?

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What language can you utilise to diminish the fear and empower you?

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What physiology would you use if you knew you could not fail?

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What physiology would you use if you didn’t know you’d succeed, but were okay either way, because who you are is not measured in triumph, but in progress?

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YOUR SUCCESS Mind Matters – Two Types Of Fears Edition 1 | Version 1 | June 2017 Published by The Coaching Institute Copyright 2017 © The Coaching Institute All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher.

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