Best of DU Spring 2013

Volume 3, May 28, 2013

From Red Rocks to legal marijuana, 2013 has been another year in which Colorado defined itself as edgy and hip.

In fact, Colorado wears many masks, from scenic ski slopes and extreme weather changes to swing voters and high per-capita college educations. Whether it’s controversy or climbing that gets you, with 300 days of sun, most of us will admit that there’s nowhere we’d rather be than at DU, nestled in the mountains.

The Best of DU is a compilation of #realtalk from our writers and editors to students. It’s our opinions - sometimes sassy, sometimes genuine - on the people, places and things that never quite made the front page, but have been topics of discussion around campus this year. Its meant to document all DU and Denver have to offer, while reflecting on what 2012-2013 meant to us as a campus, city, state and nation.

That’s why we chose our theme, Coloradical!. This has been a year of intense Colorado and Pioneer pride, from the Presidential debate to the Lacrosse Final Four.

Here’s to a great summer full of sunshine and microbrews and a new school year full of academic promise and extra snow on the slopes.

Anita Balakrishnan Editor-in-chief, DU Clarion 2012-2013

Def: Radical \ ‘ra-di-kel\ (slang) Cool, Excellent.

The “Best of DU” is a Clarion tradition celebrating summer and May Days. It is the compilation of individual opinions, not desinged to represent the voice of all students or Clarion editors, or the faculty, staff and administration of the University of Denver.

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Staff Writers Naomi Forman Julia Kuttler

Editorial Board GIGI PECCOLO

News Editor

LANNA GIAUQUE

Assitant News Editor HANNAH GILHAM

Lifestyles Editor

EMMA MCKAY

Assistant Lifestyles Editor ALEX PROIETTI

Sports Editor

ALEX JOHNSON

Editor Elect

SARAH FORD

Managing Editor ANITA BALAKRISHNAN

Editor Emeritus KIM NESBITT

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MICHAEL SNODGRASS

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NOEL MCKILLIP

Staff Photographers Jake Newell

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CHRIS BACH

Opinions Editor MEG MCINTYRE

Entertainment Editor CHRISTIAN ALLEN

Web Editor

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Amanda Peskin

Senior Reporters

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Christian Allen Anna Gauldin Carolyn Neff Kameryn Tanita Danny Zimny-Schmitt

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Contributing Writers

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Maura Shea Brenda Velasquez

Advertising Manager Distribution Assistant

Jacob Bockhorst

Business Manager

Roderick O’Dorisio

May 28, 2013

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF IDHDU.COM, KIM NESBITT (CLARION)

MOST DREAMY PROF: RUSSELL FIELDING If you are fortunate enough to take Russell Fielding’s “Our Dynamic Earth” sequence, it’s probably not one you’ll soon forget. With piercing blue eyes, dark, intriguing hair, a body that only an active and outdoorsy thirty-something can claim, and a smile that’s cuter than a field full of puppies, he’s guaranteed to have your full attention from day one.

After the initial shock of his invitingly good looks wears off (which, admittedly, might take a good portion of the year), you will have the opportunity to actually listen to what he’s teaching.

As much as you may have been dreading the required science sequence, you will likely find yourself pleasantly surprised by these courses.

The very high ratings and numerous chili peppers he received on Rate My Professor are more than well deserved, and his teaching methods and looks alike will keep you intrigued and engaged for each and every class period. His excellent and creative teaching methods will almost certainly get your juices flowing when it comes time to study, making it surprisingly fun and enjoyable.

You can certainly stick with his effective examples, such as different kinds of cars for various weather fronts, relatable Colorado events, or personal stories from his extensive outdoor exploits, but I can almost guarantee you’ll have no problem coming up with creative ideas of your own.

The exciting and exotic maneuvers of dangerous animals? The electrifying and charged air of a dangerous thunderstorm? The hypnotic, cyclonic movements of a hurricane? The smoldering and raw intrigue of a forest fire?

HONORABLE MENTION: CHIARA PIOVANI, ECONOMICS

The dark, raw power of a rotating tornado? A tsunami’s overwhelming wave of wetness? These are not concepts that you’ll soon forget, especially with Fielding’s expert experience, strong and heightened methods, and eager guidance leading the way.

If you’re still worried about fulfilling that science requirement, don’t. If you do manage to miss something, you’ll just have to visit Dr. Fielding in his office for a little extra time and encouragement. What was that scale for measuring earthquakes again? Rocketeer? Rock-her? Richter? Doesn’t that involve bed-rock? Actually, the real question is: does it matter?

If you fail, you’ll get to take his class again.

“There would be no regulation on our love. Professor Piovani could be a MNC and I could be China’s environment: she could have her way with me.”

Timeline: DU’s Radical Past

1970: DU students organize “Woodstock of the West” to discuss the invasion of Cambodia and expansion of the Vietnam War, resulting in a 2-day strike (DU Today)

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May 28, 2013

MOST ATTRACTIVE TA: HARRY KATZ But one thing’s for sure – if you’ve got a thing for the awkward yet sexy type, Harry Katz is the TA for you. He’s got an irresistible, charmingly crooked smile, which pairs perfectly with his nerdy-chic (okay that may be a bit of an exaggeration) faded T-shirts and worn out jeans. Add in the fact that he’s funny, sweet and super helpful as a TA, you’ve got a guy that’s totally crush worthy.

Plus, just consider that laugh! It’s so awkwardly adorable that it makes me want to lie down and die. Harry’s got smarts, looks, a winning personality and an infectious laugh – what more could you want from the star of your daydreams?

In my mind, there’s absolutely no contest; Harry Katz is the best looking TA on the DU campus. If you’re planning to take a class in the Geography department, you should try to find out if Harry Katz will be one of your TAs. I guarantee that no matter how boring that class ends up being, you definitely won’t regret your decision to take it. If Harry Katz is present there will be plenty of other things to think (and daydream) about.

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1975-1987: Richard Lamm, DU professor, served as Colorado Governor, passing “radical” progressive legislation, such as environmental protection and abortion laws. (DU portfolio)

Timeline: DU’s Radical Past

PHOTOS COURTESY OF BLOGS.DENVERPOST.COM

We’ve all had those painfully boring classes – the ones where it’s a constant struggle just to keep your eyes open and the drone of your professor’s voice can seem like a twisted lullaby coaxing you into a blissful but grade-wrecking sleep. There are a lot of those classes. And they absolutely, positively, without a doubt, suck.

In classes like these, I prefer to look to a distraction, something that will keep me awake and hopefully allow me to absorb some of the content through osmosis or something. More often than not, that distraction might be readily present in the classroom, simply waiting to be pondered.

My distraction of choice? The older, more intellectual, more interesting (and often, way more attractive) Teacher’s Assistant.

Okay, so I could see some of you backing away in disgust at this point. I’ll admit that what I just said could come off a little creepy. Who checks out their TA during class? Are you admitting to some school girl obsession with a guy that’s basically your teacher? Do you not realize how weird and gross and wildly inappropriate that is?

Yeah, that’s probably the automatic response. But let’s be real here. If you’re telling me you’ve never noticed that your TA just happens to be super attractive, and have never occasionally turned your thoughts to him or her instead of your studies, you are absolutely lying. This is a college, people. Not a convent.

And plus, I’ve been told that there are many drool worthy TAs residing at DU – but personally, there’s only one guy who holds my eye: Harry Katz. If you don’t know who he is, you’ve never had him as a TA. Trust me. You’d know.

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May 28, 2013

NICHOLAS ROCKWELL, HISTORY

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WIKIMEDIA COMMONS, KIM NESBITT (CLARION)

MOST ENGAGING LECTURER We all know that most history courses will put you to sleep faster than you can say, “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492.”

Especially when forced to stare at the same pages of notes for two hourwith maybe a five-minute break…maybe.

Fortunately for us there is one professor that takes the entertainment value of his history lessons extremely seriously. I’m talking learning about when it was socially acceptable to practice Fall quarter: the ideology “an eye for an HIST 3305: eye,” hearing all the gory “Warfare details of ancient wartime battles and when conspiraand politics cies to overthrow kings were in Ancient as common as people wearGreece” ing togas that did not inTuesday/ volve a party of Korbel grad Thursday, students. That’s right – Dr. Rockwell is our very own 10 a.m.-12 ancient world expert. p.m., CRN: As ratemyprofessor.com 4289 reflects, Rockwell’s classes are not for students looking for an easy A. No, no, no … students actually have to attend class, take notes and prepare for the exams. But for any history buffs out there, this is not challenging seeing as most of his lectures contain enough violence, romance and twist and turns to make a popular TV show. Anyone a fan of HBO’s Rome or Games of Throne? Those shows pretty much sum up Rockwell’s classes in a nutshell.

And while we’re being honest, he’s not half bad to look at either.

Take his class

Timeline: DU’s Radical Past

1986: World Snowboard Champuipionships move to Breckenridge, only 5 years after the first competition (Colorado Ski and Snowboard museum)

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May 28, 2013

THE HONORS PROGRAM

MOST MADDENING RESUME BOOSTER Every year when wide-eyed former APers and IB-ers innocently enter their freshman years, many of them resolutely decide to continue their high academic pursuits in college, thinking, “What better way to do that than join the honors program?”

After reading the convincing and well-de-

signed business mailings they decide the program will be a good way to continue their interests, expand their horizons and take interesting classes with interesting people.

The more experienced among us pity them. They will soon discover their unfortunate folly. In strict contrast to its carefully constructed hype, the “University Honors Program” on campus is perhaps the most limiting, frustrating, disappointing and time-consuming academic option available to students at DU. With requirements that

make transfer credits irrelevant (in a program filled with graduates of programs like AP and IB), extremely limited class options (the only option for an honors ASEM in the fall was a class entitled “Thinking”), and professors that often seem to confuse the idea of “in-depth courses” with the concept of “assign as much random and somewhat irrelevant reading as possible”, the honors program consistently proves to disgruntle even the most academically-motivated students on campus.

For students in the honors

program, the only two ways to opt out of these limited options (and take a non-honors course that might actually be interesting or relevant) are to: take several additional honors courses to make up for the one you missed, or spend several hours writing an honors contract that will essentially ask professors to completely restructure their classes (many of which were more in-depth and worthwhile than available honors classes to begin with).

The plethora of polite and strongly worded emails alike that are sent each quarter by

CAMPUS Craw

Where to see and be seen (or not) if you’re a righteous DU du

BEST PLACE TO LIVE ON THE EDGE Everybody loves a good adrenaline rush. In search of an adventure, many thrill seekers turn to haunted houses, to sky diving, to amusement parks.

They ski down treacherous slopes and climb daunting mountains; they watch horror movies and raft down raging rapids.

Perhaps in an effort to cater to this audience, DU provided its own adventure outlet on campus, conveniently located at 2222 S. High St. Curious? Look no further than Nelson Hall.

If your goal is an adventurous living situation, it is tough to top Nelson Hall at DU. The early hours of the morning, for example, are no longer a time for sleeping. Particularly on

the coldest and the snowiest of nights, Nelson Hall fire alarms ring proudly, dragging adventurous students out of their beds at 4 a.m. and sending them to the sidewalks, where a fashion show of pajamas and sweatpants commences immediately.

Only adding to the adventure is a guessing game, in which students must try to decide the cause of their evacuation. The answer is typically elevated levels of carbon monoxide—and what’s more adventurous than trying to go back to sleep with thoughts of poisonous gas seeping into your dreams?

If the evacuations alone aren’t enough to convince you, let us examine further the ad-

May 28, 2013

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ude or dudette

BEST CONFUSING RENOVATION Spring quarter kicked off with a grand re-opening that had the campus buzzing with anticipation. After two years of frustration, DU students were able to view their new library! But hopes fell flat as brows furrowed in confusion.

Looking at the new Anderson Academic Commons, it doesn’t seem very “new” at all. Large chunks of the original Penrose (like the tan-colored walls with their salmon-tinted squares) offset the cream and grey stone façade - the promising beginnings of an uncompleted renovation. Sections of bronze metal strips reveal the library’s underlying infrastructure as if the construction team ran out of materials to cover it with. And in fact, two entire backsides facing Evans remain wholly untouched.

But students were willing to forgive this disappointment if the inside made up for it. After all, we’re taught not to judge a book by its cover, right? Unfortunately, the inside is just as pock-marked

as the exterior, featuring mismatched furniture.

Some of the more promising new features include rows of student lockers, movable bookcases, “Cones of Silence” hanging from the ceiling and the Perched Classroom, or “The Loft”, where thrill-seeking students can get their fix in the classroom’s mid-air suspension.

Alas, the movable bookcases provide a frustrating barrier to reach books, the “Cones of Silence” look odd and alien, and “The Loft” is used mostly for library staff meetings.

Librarians are excited about the AAC’s bountiful collection of books stretching eight miles long! But given the argument used to support the decision of transporting half of Penrose’s books off-campus last year (insisting that students never checked those books out anyway), it’s likely that the majority of these new texts will never see the light of day.

And last but not least, students walking into the library are greeted by a giant

interactive screen, standing proudly in the lobby as a preview of the excessive high-tech decorations permeating the rest of the library: a large flat-screen TV adorns every work table area in the basement level-all of which remain turned off.

As you examine the library’s interior, you may feel a hint of nostalgia. Think That 70s Show meets The Jetsons. Why this eclectic combination? “To remind anyone who knew Penrose Library that its spirit still lives on here,” states the DU website, under an article titled “40 Things to Love [about the AAC].”

In the end, the twoyear renovation process is estimated to have cost approximately $32 million, receiving support from 5,464 donors. Looking at the rising price of tuition, the return of Penrose amenities combined with the new features of Anderson might take this writer a while to fall in love with.

ANDERSON ACADEMIC COMMONS

angry,concerned or simply inquisitive students seem to consistently fall on inboxes that are both deaf and mute.

Admittedly, there are a few real benefits—registering before everyone else is always a good thing, honors events are quite nice (who doesn’t want to go to a play or art show downtown followed by dessert for free?), and the accolade does spruce up a resume. However, the enjoyment one can gain from these diminishes significantly when the giant pile of busywork waiting to be finished still looms for an honors class the next morning.

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NELSON HALL venturous avenues down which Nelson Hall may take you.

Few things in life provide more of an adrenaline rush than submerging oneself in ice water, so the residence hall has conveniently provided an opportunity for this in the form of showers.

Think you are going to take a consistently hot shower anytime between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m.?

Odds are typically one in three.

Post-midnight bathing generally provides warmer temperatures, so there are two options for adventure: Risk hypothermia by showering at any normal hour of day, or defy standard sleeping habits to gamble for water heated above room temperature. Two fantastic chances for a thrill, and

it is all up to you to decide.

Head downstairs, and the opportunities for adventure multiply. Doing laundry is always the most drawn out of adventures, as students must hunt for an open machine and then partake in the sacred laundry dance to pray the washer or dryer will actually work. Oftentimes, students also get to participate in the exciting physical activity of hauling another student’s dripping wet clothing out of a washer while avoiding underwear contact at all costs. This, of course, must be done at an exceptional speed, so as to avoid awkward contact if the aforementioned student finally decides to complete his or her laundry process.

Move into the lobby, and you will get to participate in yet another guessing game: Will the printer be working? On occasion, the Nelson Hall staff will take the adventure out of it by posting a “Broken” sign. If this is the case, lucky students get to trek to one of the other residence halls, often braving the wilderness of freshman territory, to seek another printer.

On the most thrilling days, however, there is no sign, and students get to spend precious minutes trying to access the printer’s screen, where an error message would be located, which is conveniently located on the side of the printer furthest away from students. Of course, all of this can

only occur if students figure out the magical angle to swipe their IDs at to log in to their respective printing accounts.

Still not convinced? Continue down the hallway to the dining hall, where the adventure never ends. Not only can you never guess what will be served, not only is it impossible to predict what those options will actually taste like, but this year, for some odd reason, students are also unable to predict whether a table will actually be available to sit at while eating. One must also, of course, consider the thrill that is meatless Mondays. You just can’t top that adventure.

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May 28, 2013

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BEST CLUB SPORTS TO CRUSH ON

DU Men’s Club Rugby has everything you want in a sport: a rich history, a bright future, aggressive wins and short shorts. Originally founded in 1968 (a mere seven years after the abolishment of football at DU), the rugby team has experienced a spirited revival in the past decade. Their wellmaintained website updates their die-hard fans multiple times a week on the latest scores, reflecting the dedication and support provided by the coaches and Rugger Huggers, who raise money to fund a near-varsity level practice and travel schedule (their season lasts almost the entire school year.)

And Rugger Huggers’ support, matched with the team’s truly brutal practice schedule, has paid off with a highly successful 2012-2013 season. According to their website, they finished highest in club history in the NSCRO rankings, landing 4th out of 211 teams. Further, five of the 15 players chosen for the NSCRO all-tournament team were DU players.

Given that the Final Four tourney was held right here in Glendale, there has never been more excitement surrounding their hard work and success.

Needless to say, his team plows through challenges like it does the rival team’s players. The fact that there is no D1 Varsity or NCAA level of competition (and all the resources and scholarships that come with it), or that most athletes come in to school with no exposure to rugby, doesn’t stop them from recruiting and molding a large and dedicated team. Coach Allan Wilson has been with the team on and off for 20 years, working on building the team up to its original glory, according to a May 14, 2012 article in the DU Clarion by Marley Schaefer.

These editors would say he’s done pretty well. Not only is rugby exciting to watch, but the muscular, passionate, committed guys? Certainly arouses some Pioneer spirit.

Rowing

Our J. Crew, Ralph Lauren and Lacoste-clad hearts are a-twitter – DU has crew. Just a month into their inaugural season, this co-ed team combines prep-school polish with massive upper arms and cold, sunrise practices on the lake – the makings of either a romantic Ryan Gosling film or the start of a competitive DU tradition. Looks aside, this team already has the dedication, sprit and teamwork of a well-established club sport, making the brand-new club a big contender for our attention (and hearts) in years to come.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DU CLUB ROWING/RUGBY

CLUB RUGBY AND CLUB ROWING

RUGBY

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May 28, 2013

BEST SELF-ESTEEM KILLER: COORS FITNESS CENTER So, you finally made it to the gym.

You’re wearing a dirty gray shirt from orientation week with some random gym shorts that you’re fairly sure were from the high school sport you quit, after citing political differences, but really because it interfered with the LOST season finale.

But now you’re an ‘adult’ and ‘adults’ are supposed to be healthy and work out and blah blah blah. It doesn’t help that Denver is full of runners, bikers and tele-marathoners, skiers and mothers who lift weights while pushing a double baby stroller in the park while you sit in the grass drinking wine and reading trashy magazines on a Saturday afternoon.

So you’re here: The gym. The golden path to beauty, fitness, health, and looking so-damn-hot. Right?

Wrong. Because the girl next to you is not sweating or breathing hard and she is wearing the newest and most attractive Victoria’s Secret sports bra and rocking her per-

fect abs and perfectly done hair.

How is this happening? You look down at the weight-lifting area (does it have an official name? I don’t even know) and there are 20 fit and aggressive looking males who are somehow tan and attractive as well. Wait, where are the freshman 15-ers? I want to work out with them.

Then, the beautiful yoga girls descend the staircase, talking about vegan burritos and Skinny-Girl cocktails and “omg, how epic was that vinyasa?”

It’s ok, just focus. Keep running. You will never be able to compete with these strange, alien members of gym society. Because they are the elite. And most of us, the ones who actually work out- we look disgusting. And we don’t have the breath to talk about veganism or to do our Poli-Sci reading or to do much of anything but try to remember that working out is good for you and not absolute torture against your body. Why does it hurt so much?

Some people are blessed to get away with “going to the gym” which translates to walking half heartedly on one of those Star Wars walker things and never breaking a sweat or losing their breath but somehow still fitting in a size 0 dress and having perfectly clear skin.

These are robots.

Do not try and compete with them. Day drinking in the park is much more fun, anyway.

Determined to stay healthy anyway?

Coors Fitness Center Summer hours June 10 - Aug. 31 5 a.m. – 10 p.m. Monday – Thursday 5 a.m. – 9 p.m. Friday 6 a.m. – 7 p.m. Saturday 6 a.m. – 9 p.m. Sunday

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YOU TELL US

The Alpine Club does over 20 outdoor trips a year, from downhill skiing to ice climbing, mountain biking and backpacking, what more could you ask for from DU’s largest student organization?

Sigma Chi is responsible for one of the Greek System’s favorite events: Derby Days, which is sure to be a good time – as it pits sorority against sorority, fun is had by all (in the name of a good cause).

The PB&J club meets every Thursday night to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the homeless, which they pack up in sack lunches and hand out in downtown Denver on Fridays.

The DU Grilling Society shows up at most big on campus events, prepared to serve students a tasty grilled meal.

BEST FRATERNITY

Theta Chi is full of sweethearts and guys who are always fun to be around. They haven’t got the biggest chapter on campus, nor do they have a house, but they make up for it in personality.

Date-A-Beta is definitely a favorite, especially when romantic balloon rides and four course meals are up for bid.

Then there’s the fact they held their formal in Las Vegas this year – can you say extravagant?

BEST SORORITY

Reader’s choice

DUPB

115 votes

Reader’s choice

SIGMA CHI 65 votes

Reader’s choice

PHOTOS FROM FACEBOOK.COM

Editors’ picks

BEST STUDENT ORG

PHOTOS FROM FACEBOOK.COM

Editors’ picks

How Clarion editors stack up against readers’ choice PHOTOS FROM FACEBOOK.COM, OFFICE.COM

Editors’ picks

May 28, 2013

May 28, 2013

PHOTOS FROM RICH CLARKSON& ASSOCIATES

Delta Zeta reeled in the most awards of any Greek organization at Greek Awards this year, totaling seven in all. They also throw Big Man on Campus, in which the fraternity men of DU strut their stuff. Provocative dancing, well dressed men and hilarious talent acts: all in the name of a good cause.

Editors’ picks

PHOTOS FROM FACEBOOK.COM

Sophomore guard Brett Olson was named WAC Player of the Week 3 times, named to the AllWAC 3rd Team and finished 1st in the WAC in 3 point field goal percentage, 1st in assist-turnover ratio and 7th in minutes played.

Editors’ picks

Illegal Pete’s Happy Hour is every day, 3-8 p.m. Free chips and salsa, $4 margaritas and $2.50 Coors. With an outdoor patio for soaking up sun and people watching, the hipster bearded employees and dancey tunes, Illegal Pete’s takes the gold.

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Delta Delta Delta: These girls are totally chill. TriDelts are always up for fun and they get along with everyone. Plus, they provide DU’s campus with one of its favorite events – DHOP. Who doesn’t love pancakes in the middle of the night? Thanks for your syrupy goodness, Tri Delt.

Alpha Phi: What’s not to like about Alpha Phi? The girls are sweet, the events are awesome (Tacos!) and they definitely know how to have a good time. Plus they’ve got the advantage of being based right in the middle of campus.

BEST ATHLETE

Senior defender Kate Henrich was named to the Intercollegiate Women’s Lacrosse Coaches Association AllAmerica Second Team, Synapse Sports All-America Second Team, among others.

Junior Moriah Martin was the lone Pioneer to advance to the NCAA Championships, where she placed second on vault and 16th in all-around and was a First Team All-America honoree on vault.

BEST HAPPY HOUR

The Stadium is the ultimate bar for casual conversation, pool and getting far too intoxicated. $10 credit card minimum=5 Beam & Cokes=Game Changer. Seriously, Jim Beam whiskey drinks are $2 all day, everyday.

Every Thursday from 5-10 p.m. Jordan’s offers half priced wine bottles ($11-13, normally $22-25 per bottle.) Also $5 appetizer pizza with your choice of three toppings makes Jordan’s a contender in the battle for best Happy Hour.

GAMMA PHI BETA 251 votes

Reader’s choice

CHRIS UDOFIA 71 votes

Reader’s choice

ILLEGAL PETE’S 73 votes

EDITORS NOTE: Since the May 14 release of this poll, the Mascot Steering Committee has narrowed down the final mascot choices to 3, as opposed to the 7 initially presented in this poll. It plans to release an official poll this summer to DU students based on these choices. However, the Clarion is commited to giving each reader a voice. We have forwarded your answers to the committee in light of their decision. Results of the poll are available on request and letters to the editor are welcomed. For questions about the upcoming survey, please contact mascot@du.edu.

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May 28, 2013

BEST DU LIFER: STEVE FISHER HONORABLE MENTION: PUCK SWAMI, ORIGINS UNKNOWN Any Facebook user has felt his magnanimous presence, commenting deeply and thoughtfully on DU pages, profiles and blogs, faithfully cheering on Pioneer athletics. Oh, Puck Swami - who are you?

Steve Fisher, University Historian, has been on staff at DU since 1977 and the head Curator of Special Collections since 1981. In that time, the university – and the world – has changed drastically.

With the 150th anniversary of DU coming up, he’s hard at work digitizing the many archives of DU photographs and publications, while managing to squeeze in attendance to almost every athletic and school spirit event.

Anyone who has worked with Fisher will tell you that he goes above and beyond the call of duty in every respect. If you ask for a single fact about DU history, Fisher will provide contacts, articles and archives. He’s knowledge exceeds simple competence and interest to encyclopedic prowess and contagious enthusiasm.

To take a tour around DU with this man would be to enter the DU Matrix.

In fact, Fisher has written a book on the subject: “A Brief History of South Denver and University Park,” according to the DU website. He’s also a DU parent, as both his children went through DU. Fisher is even brave enough to reside on High Street, deep in the heart of DU shenanigans.

Fisher has called his job “perfect” and “his calling.” We tend to agree.

His loyal readership of the Clarion, support of Pioneer athletics and academic and historical expertise make him the perfect match for the job, and one of DU’s (and our) sweethearts.

BEST EMAIL SIGNATURES DESTINED FOR GREATNESS

TECK, HIROKAWA, ESTENSON Ah, the email signature – every college student’s attempt at the impossible task of garnering ethos with little to no real job experience. While some struggle to make it past the purple Comic Sans text and “yahoo.com” addresses, other rise to intimidating – if not incredulous - heights of email . For our graduating class entering the real world, there are a few standout students who send us deep into the throes of an existential crisis about our lack of qualifications straight from their Blackberries. These gargantuan gestures may be over the top, but they are also a digital reassurance that at least a few of us DU Millenials are prepared to be gainfully and meaningfully employed.

Vanessa Teck – Not only is her Google + profile picture completely stunning, but she has not three, not four, but 12 titles under her name in her email signature. Highlights include co-founding her own non-profit, Project Ava, designed to showcase youth and the issues that motivate them (“Social entrepreneurs empower, inspire youth” by Hsing Tseng for the DU Clarion, January 15), but also her own about.me anchored web page and multitudes of both on- and off-campus positions. Beautiful, passionate, charismatic - it’s no surprise she’s electable, boasting positions in Undergraduate Student Government, AHSS Student Advisory Council and Asian Student Alliance. But don’t sell her

short – service to the Asian Pacific Americans for Progress Colorado, Miss Asian American Colorado Leadership, Collaboration of Asian American Student Leaders, And the Center for Multicultural Excellence – this girl’s serious about what she believes and isn’t afraid to work hard to show it. Ballin’ resume aside, the long and short of it is that this girl’s got it going on.

Craig Hirokawa – Teck’s partner in crime, Hirokawa also lends his (probably too many) waking hours to Asian Student Alliance, USG, AHSS Student advisory Council, the Collaboration of Asian American Leaders and the Honors Program. In addition, he carries the arduous weight of being the Nelson Hall DM. He’s also part of the Colorado Dragon Boat Festival Emerging Leaders program. It’s not entirely clear from the getgo what this could be, but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Game of Thrones, its’ that not to mess with a dragon. He’s carrying his skills from DU forward to join Teach for America this summer, according to the May 2013 AHSS Expressions newsletter – which means he’ll be using all those accolades to make a difference for years to come.

Sam Estenson – While this USG president keeps his signatures short and catered to the recipient, he packs a real punch with his trademark sign-off, “In Pioneer spirit.”

While a CV at the bottom of an email stabs at our egos and vanity, this one digs deep at

the soul. Once Pioneer spirit leaves the realm of the LAX stands and the graduation ceremonies, one has to wonder – “Am I, in this very moment, in Pioneer spirit? What are the signs? Does it matter if I’m baptized?” These are the questions that haunt those of us that have been blessed with Estensonian correspondence. With profound aphorisms and the resume to back it up, it’ll be no surprise if this Pioneer has a bright future in business or politics.

Honorable mentions - While there are too many qualified Pioneers to list here (don’t worry, we’ll endorse your LinkedIns later) , here are a couple of signoff ’s that couldn’t escape mention Ryan Schultz – While Shultz’s emails are classy, short and well-written, it’s a different kind of signature that gives him away, present at DUPB films, residence halls and USG meetings, among his many other societies and commitments. That’s right – it’s the signature laugh. This hearty bellow never ceases to bring a smile to our faces, putting the stamp of Pioneer fun into all campus events. You’ll be missed.

Sean McNiff – Any student org vet knows McNiff as the student comptroller.

Though he’s leaving the post to finish up his MBA at Daniels’, we know that any guy who signs off on thousands of dollars of deposits and withdrawals on the reg has to be ready for real-world responsibilities.

May 28, 2013

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Thank you 2013 Senior Class Donors Thanks to the generosity of 155 graduating seniors, the Class of 2013 is already at 13.1% participation towards our goal of 15% Jason Alderson Robert Barrett Kaitlin Bast Logie Beck Alexandra Befus Bailey Beins Sophia Bergner Fabio Biasion Megan Bobroske Andrew Bonus Joshua Brewer Kristina Buckingham Elizabeth Bunker Jillian Burghoff Parker Calbert Lara Campbell Chase Carraro Simona Castro Lazo Regina Chilton-Parris Kimberly Christiansen Mikayla Clark Rachel Contizano Lauren Cooper Ian Cornish Jeffrey Cox Kelli Davis Kristine Dietrich Christian Doody Andrew Dougherty Kelly Drack Michelle Earley

Samson Eberhart Nicholas Eggemeyer Mari Elden Karen Escobar Jacqueline Faust Cameron Flint Blake Foeman Matthew Fouracre Molly Gasch Leah Getchell Mikaela Gibson Julia Godshaw Marc Goldenberg Jackson Gossard Sara Grabowski Jessica Gring Ana Gutierrez Nicole Guzofsky Chase Hallam Jillian Halterman Quinn Harmon Jonathan Havey Patrick Hennessy Kate Henrich Leah Henry Kyle Hercher Theresa Hernandez James Hills Craig Hirokawa Yifeng Hong Francis Hope

Lori Huffaker Emma Isberg Nicholas Iwanicki Meredith Jackson Bonnie-Jean Jenkins Jana Johnson Lyndi Johnson Mark Jones Dylan Jones Megan Kelly Maria Khan Faimie-Rose Kingsley Montana Knapp Christopher Knowlton Eric Law Judy Lazo Andrew Lee Yao Lei Timothy Leuschner Shuyi Liao Robin Lindgren Megan Lloyd Brian Lloyd Erica Maddox Mark Maguire Lingshuang Mao Steven Marchetto Matthew Markham Trygve Markset Melissa Martin Kevin McFarling

Kirsten Milberg Cimone Miner Kelli Mowrey Adam Murray Cameron Newell Hulya O'Brien Shawn Ostrow Jorge Palma-Fraga Nicole Patterson Benjamin Peters Ngoc Phan Paul Phillips Sarah Pomerantz Stuart Portman Xihe Qin Vanessa Racehorse Jordan Rath Stefanie Rath Justin Ritter Mary Rogers Lisa Rollins Michelle Rosengrant Ashley Ruiz Victoria Ruiz Alicia Sanchez Hayden Schuette Ryan Schultz Colin Scott Kara Secora Blake Shannon Devin Sharp

George Simoudis Emiko Smith Sean Snodgrass Nadia Sonkina Kristian Sorlund Brianna Springer Grace Stein Jackson Stevens Catherine Suffoletta Alexandra Suppan Taylor Sutcliffe Clark Tappy Vanessa Teck Molly Tomkins Camila Toscana Rodriguez Tia Totura Kyle Underriner Kathryn Van Lieshout Frank Varney Kalie Vaughn Claudia Villalba Jens Vorkefeld Meryl Warner Mark Weigand Brittany Wilhelm Anne Woolman Coleton Worsley Joshua Wren Florence Yaeger Taylor Young Pamela Young

Haven’t made your gift to the Senior Class Campaign yet?

Get your name on the donor honor roll by giving any amount at:

du.edu/ascend/seniorgift2013 *Donor honor roll represents gifts and completed pledges as of May 24, 2013

May 28, 2013

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THE SAUCY NOODLE

BEST LOCAL RESTAURANT If you don’t like garlic … go home!

Printed along the bottom of its trademark red and white canopy, The Saucy Noodle’s slogan warns passersby that its dishes are not for the fainthearted.

With nearly 50 years of experience in serving Cherry Creek, Washington Park and Bonnie Brae locals, the Saucy Noodle has perfected the use of garlic in its home-style Italian dishes, ranging from hand-tossed pizza covered in garlic marinara sauce to baked ravioli complemented by fist-sized meatballs.

In 1964, Sam Badis purchased the restaurant, then known as Jim Sano’s, and ownership has passed down through his family for nearly five decades. For the entirety of that period,

the Saucy Noodle has been located in the same picturesque building at 727 S. University Blvd.

Now owned by Badis’ granddaughter, Erin Markham, and her husband, Nathan, the restaurant has doubled in size. Many things have remained constant over the decades, however, such as the trademark red velvet walls. Antiques cover the colorful interior, many of which were collected by Badis in the 60s and 70s from across the country.

Easily fitting into a college student’s budget, The Saucy Noodle offers numerous meals for $15 or less, including meat lover’s pizza, chicken parmigiana and spaghetti and meatballs. One of the best deals is the Maestro’s Combination Plate, which includes rigatoni, ravioli and the choice of spaghetti or homemade linguine, in addition to a giant meatball or hot Italian sausage.

Like the majority of the meals, the combination plate also includes garlic bread and a salad, and the half-order ($14.95) leaves plenty for leftovers.

While the prices are affordable, the restaurant itself provides a classy, cozy and romantic atmosphere, perfect for date night or an evening out with friends. It is also an ideal location for family dinners when parents come into town. The service is fast and friendly, and the dim lighting allows for easy entrance into the leisurely state associated with the best meals.

The dessert menu is phenomenal, including chocolate ganache cake and a cinnamon roll sundae, in addition to Italian classics such as tiramisu and chocolate chip cannoli. The Saucy Noodle also offers a lunch menu, served 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday through Saturday, with dinner service beginning at 4:30 p.m. daily. There is a gluten free menu, and whole grain pasta can be substituted in most meals, so diners of all preferences are sure to find something appetizing.

With nearly 50 years to build its reputation, The Saucy Noodle is often packed full on weekends, so it is best to make a reservation. To do so, diners can either call 303-733-6977 or visit The Saucy Noodle’s website at www.saucynoodle.com.

AROUND town

Where to see and be seen (or not) if you’re a righteous DU dude or dudette Like that infectious, dorm-livingcough that just won’t go away, The Border has lingered - or festered - somewhere near the hearts DU students since forever.

It’s uncanny, really, that this establishment has not been bulldozed by health codes or the mayor of Denver or Coombe Daddy or anybody with regard to the sexual, moral and mental wellbeing of DU students.

The source of many wild college nights, the Border has a rich history, vibrant with stabbings, vomiting on tables, bathrooms and dance floors and many last memories of a Thursday evening before waking up at a random High Street house on Friday morning. We’ve all had our fair share of fun evenings at The Border, ac-

companied by our matching Maine or Arizona “IDs.” However, that doesn’t stop The Border from obtaining a symbolic and Rockyesque quality. The underdog bar; the nostalgic infestation of humanity.

So, why can’t we shake The Border? Is it the sticky booths stained by all kinds of bodily and alcoholic fluids? Is it the recently removed stripper pole? Perhaps the terrible DJ who somehow always manages to mishear your song request? Or the bartenders who are not really nice or necessarily mean, but are not good at their jobs?

Call it “The Border” or “Merchants Mile High Saloon,” or whatever you like; does it really matter?

The Border is the seedy underbelly of DU. It has, and likely always will have, that train-wreck affect on students and Denverites alike; we just can’t look away from the debauchery. You can’t kill that kind of place, despite multiple shut downs due to underage drinking.

So hang tight kids, The Border is here to stay. All Vodka vomit, stained hearts and broken dreams. Cue “Eye of the Tiger.”

THE BORDER

BEST ROCKY-STYLE COMEBACK

May 28, 2013

BEST COFFEE SHOP: BEANTREE COFFEE

Any caffeine addict (and we journalists have many among us) will tell you that Starbucks is to coffee as Taco Bell is to Mexican Food – that is, if Taco Bell charged $10 a chalupa. Sodexo, too, leaves much to be desired (no offense, Donald, Kim and Ebeneezer, we love you!). So what’s a night-owl or early riser to do to avoid charred beans?

Enter Beantree, which opened a new location in February on University.

The beans are fresh, local (roasted fresh and delivered from Boulder), come in a wide variety and your java is made to order. These guys know coffee – from Sumatra to Java to French Roast, there’s no need for sugar on these smooth, layered blends.

Plus, they have actual food – not

n

just pastries – including crepes, waffles and Korean fare. And boba tea –lots of it, both milk tea and snow. If you have the need for late night snacks and coffee for a long night of studying, they are open til 11 p.m. (just as late as Stel-

BEST PLACE TO FEEL LIKE AN ADULT

la’s but more convenient, more tasty and less crowded.) Need we say more?

Oh yes, we do. The prices are reasonable, and in comparison to their competitors on the corner, you actually get more than you pay for.

Text 1282 to TEXTBK (839825) and take the FUN’D Your Summer Quiz for your chance to WIN.* *Promotion valid through 5/30/13. Open to U.S. residents 17 years of age or older. You can opt out of SMS messages from bookstore at any time by texting STOP to TEXTBK (839825). Text HELP for help. Msg&Data Rates May Apply. Up to 4 msgs/week. Supported Carriers: Alltel, AT&T, Boost Mobile, Cellcom, Cellular South, Cincinnati Bell, Nextel, nTelos, Sprint, T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, and Verizon Wireless.

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BEANS AFTER DARK

Sure, we all loved those moments playing Frisbee on the JMAC beach in our bras or running down the alley behind High Street blowing an airhorn at 4 a.m.. But once in a while, it’s nice to feel like an adult. I recently had this somewhattranscendental experience while I was wasting away over a latte, waiting to meet a grad student at Beans, located conveniently in the Knoebel School of Hospitality. Suddenly, coffees and newspapers were cleared away and replaced with immaculately staged hor d’oeuvres (free) and good, high quality wine and beer ($5 and $6 a glass, respectively).

Turns out this thing, Beans after Dark, happens every Thursday from 4:30-7 p.m. Mostly attended by grad students, its classy, elegant and a great place to network or unwind right on campus. And run entirely by students (many Hospitality majors – they know their stuff ), it supports student enterprise and learning. In fact, Beans has become totally self-sufficient this year. Whether you’re dabbling in adulthood or just thinking of hosting a theme party on the subject, Beans after Dark is a great place to try out classy conversation while staying in your campus comfort zone.

Visit du.bkstr.com for buyback hours and locations

DU BOOKSTORE 4/C

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