SEIZE THE MOMENT

SEIZE THE MOMENT THAT TIME WE JOINED A PAGAN HOMESCHOOL CO-OP

“I think we should join this pagan homeschool co-op.” Those are words you don’t hear every day. Yet, sure enough, about two years ago my wife made that announcement from the other end of the house. Sufficiently derailed from my work in the office, I joined her in the living room to try and make sense of this. We should join a what?

My wife laid out her reasoning: 1. This family opens their home to other families once a week for social and educational activities. 2. Their website is cheerful and friendly. 3. They welcome all families: big ones, small ones, weird ones, messy ones. 4. They promptly replied to my wife’s request for more information. 5. They’re not trying to proselytize anyone. 6. It’s inexpensive. 7. It’s not that far away.

That all sounded great, but I couldn’t get past the “pagan” part. Exactly how pagan are they? Were there no Catholic co-ops we could join? I was concerned, to say the least. But, after talking to the lady who runs the co-op and researching other options in our area, my wife was convinced this was worth a shot.

THE LINE Before you can appreciate the impact of this decision, you need to know something about my family: We’re not easy to accommodate. We’re loud. We’re messy. We’re awkward. We’re needy. We break things. We require heaps of mercy and forbearance. As such, we’re always wondering, “Where’s the line?” What’s the mistake, offense or misbehavior that will finally make people say, “Enough”? Sometimes we can foresee where the line will be; other times we have to feel it out and hope for the best.

FEELING OUT THE PAGANS When our family enters someone else’s space, we’re basically asking them, “Are we more important to you than your peace and quiet? Your sense of order? Your need to be in control? Even your prized possessions?” putting up with us, they have invited us to join them for trips to the zoo and backyard barbecues. My wife has made close friends with the moms in the group, and the other kids are always excited when my kids arrive.

Speaking of my kids: So far they have broken two glass lanterns, spilled Tiki torch oil all over the family’s deck, eaten their food, invaded every room in their house, and even snuffed the life out of their pet goldfish (accidentally) and this family still – still! – welcomes us with open arms. Do you know what that’s called? Radical hospitality.

DEFYING EXPECTATIONS Radical hospitality is more than providing coffee and donuts. It means making someone feel welcomed, valued and affirmed far beyond expectations. It’s a hospitality that doesn’t count the cost. It’s a yes to the prospect of the other that establishes the other as the highest good.

This is the hospitality of Abram before the three visitors (Gen. 18:1-5), of Jesus at the feet of the apostles (Jn. 13:3-5), of the master of the feast before the poor (Lk. 14:12-14), of Mary before the transforming power of the Spirit (Lk.1:38).

What makes this hospitality so powerful and healing is that it’s rare and meets an intense desire. In a society that fosters egocentricity and obsessive cost calculation, it’s rare to be truly welcomed. It’s rare to be treated with the dignity you deserve. It’s rare to be genuinely loved – and, at the end of the day, that’s all anyone really wants.

As Catholics, our families and our parishes are called to extend that kind of radical hospitality. Are you prepared to “remove your sandals before the sacred ground of the other” (Evangelii Gaudium, 169)? If not, why not?

NICHOLAS HARDESTY

is the associate director of Adult Evangelization and RCIA for the Center for the New Evangelization, an archdiocesan initiative that empowers parishes and schools to equip the laity for missionary discipleship. nhardesty@catholicaoc.org.

Heaven’s Gain

Cincinnati Couple Founded Ministry to Help Those Suffering the Loss of a Baby

BY KATE JOYCE THESING

After losing their fifth, ninth and tenth babies at different gestations, Jim and Donna Murpy felt called to serve families suffering the loss of a baby. Together, they founded Heaven’s Gain Ministries in Cincinnati. Heaven’s Gain Ministries nationally (HGM) helps families before, during, and after the birth of their baby. From the time a couple learns their baby has no heartbeat, HGM is there to help parents prepare

“We listen to their concerns and explain what happens when the baby is born,” Donna said.

For those delivering their miscarried baby at home, they prepare parents for what they can expect to see during the miscarriage. “We offer a Certified Baby Loss Doula to serve families before, during or after the delivery of their baby, at home or in the hospital,” said Donna.

The doula also guides parents in determining what memorabilia they wish to keep and treasure, including photos, footprints, handprints and hospital bracelets.

“We have peer support coordinators to offer support, oneon-one or in a group setting. We recently added group support for people who are pregnant after a loss, “ Donna said.

Gate of Heaven Cemetery has a Baby Garden and provides burial for miscarriages and children who die before age two for any family who is a parish member in the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. For Catholics, the funeral and burial are important steps, but it does not stop there. The need for ongoing opportunities to heal is why Gate of Heaven Cemetery also hosts an annual Candlelight Service for Deceased Children.

Jennifer and John Deitz have their child buried in the Gate of Heaven Baby Garden.

“Knowing life begins at conception makes each one of our losses deeply personal,“ said Jennifer. “Our Catholic faith and what our parents taught us, strengthened us and reminded us to trust that everything is in God’s hands. We are extremely thankful and honored that this child of God is loved by all. Our baby was laid to rest at Gate of Heaven Cemetery peacefully in 2019 thanks to their ministry. We have been blessed to go to those sacred grounds to reflect and remember all the precious gifts from God that we have lost,” said Jennifer.

When asking Donna and Jennifer what helped them and their husbands grieve, they both touched upon how their children’s lives are heaven’s gains. Jennifer hopes others who have had miscarriages and lost their babies will, “Believe and know that Jesus and his Blessed Mother Mary are listening. It is all in God’s hands,” said Jennifer. “Find your faith. Be strong. Reach out to these ministries that God has for us right here, Heaven’s Gain Ministry and Gate of Heaven Cemetery’s Ministry and their Baby Garden.”