When we feel like hypocrites and phonies

Q I sometimes feel like a hypocrite when I say that I believe in God and am Catholic, but then I don’t always live the way I should live as a disciple of Jesus. I try to follow God, but I keep failing, and I feel like a phony.

A I really appreciate you asking about this. If we go back to the Gospels, we see that Jesus has his harshest words for those whom he calls “hypocrites.” He has incredibly strong words of condemnation for those who claim religious uprightness but who are not living that out. We hear these words at the beginning of each Lent in the Sermon on the Mount.

Jesus says: “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. … When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. … When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward” (Mt 6:1, 5, 16).

To each of these behaviors, Jesus reveals the emptiness and futility of posturing. He goes even further to let us know that we continue these behaviors at our peril.

But what kind of behaviors is Jesus talking about? Is he saying that praying, fasting and almsgiving are bad? He most definitely is not, since he goes on to say, “When you pray … when you fast … when you give alms … .”

Is he saying that a Christian is a failure if someone else notices and knows that you are praying, or fasting or giving alms? Did Jesus say that you have to keep all your good works secret? Absolutely not. While Jesus does tell us to “not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” while giving alms, and to “pray to your Father in secret,” he also makes it clear that “your light must shine kingdom of God. before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Mt 5:14-16). Our good works must become known at some point so that God may be glorified. And this is the key.

Blessed Solanus was not a nervous man. Quite the opposite, he was a man of calm, kindness and an ability to be very present to those in his presence. Sometimes we equate urgency with running around in a panic. Rather, urgency in the parable is the ability to seek what is most important and set aside what is less important. The merchant recognizes the pearl of great price and sells everything to purchase it.

Blessed Solanus demonstrated this ability to focus on discovering the kingdom in the present moment by accepting his assignment. Blessed Solanus was ordained a “simplex priest.” He was not permitted to hear confessions nor preach a sermon, as his superiors did not feel he had the intellectual gifts for this. Instead, he was assigned to answer the door at the monastery as a porter. One might be tempted to be bitter over this characterization and lowly assignment. Yet Blessed Solanus embraced it with great joy as he recognized God’s work before him and the importance and urgency of that good work. Literally thousands of lives were impacted by those who came to visit the joyful porter for his wise counsel, prayer and occasional miracles.

Sometimes we can get all wrapped up in what the world dictates as important, yet the Gospel for July 30 is a reminder to look at things with new eyes. We are called to a new sense of urgency in responding to the good news. This urgency will help us to order our lives, seeking first the kingdom of God.

Father Creagan is pastor of St. Michael and St. Mary in Stillwater, canonical administrator of St. Croix Catholic School, and a chaplain for the Minnesota Army National Guard.

When Jesus condemns hypocrisy, we need to know what hypocrisy is. It is not striving to do God’s will and failing. Hypocrisy is pretending to be other than we are. The very term “hypocrite” comes from the Greek word for “actor,” a person who is pretending to be someone other than who they truly are. The fact that Jesus is focusing on this aspect of behavior is even more clear when we examine how he describes these actions. He outlines these actions by highlighting their motive: They “perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them.” They “love to stand and pray … so that others may see them.” “They neglect their appearance … so that they may appear to others to be fasting.”

The goal is entirely impression management. They want to have the appearance of virtue without the presence of virtue. The goal is: I want you to think that I have that which I am not willing to choose. I want you to think I am who I am not willing to become.

This is, essentially, acting — pretending. This is hypocrisy. So, let’s get back to you. You said that you feel like a hypocrite. It sounds like you are striving to follow Jesus and still find yourself not living the way Christ is calling you to live. That is not hypocrisy. That is called being a fallen human being who is striving to live by God’s grace. This is good news! You are not necessarily a hypocrite; you are just broken — like the rest of us.

Now, all of this comes with a note of caution. We do live in a day and age where hypocrisy has some clout, not when it comes to prayer, fasting and almsgiving but when it comes to the temptation toward a relatively new way of describing an old phenomenon. I mean the term “virtue signaling.”

Virtue signaling is the most modern form of hypocrisy. It is pretending to the extreme. It is the antithesis of actual virtue. Where true virtue often comes at great cost, virtue signaling costs nothing. Where real virtue demands that I may have to take an unpopular stand for my deepest convictions, virtue signaling almost always agrees with whichever opinion is most popular in a given culture.

Now, of course I can do something simply because I have been asked to do it (provided it doesn’t violate God’s law or my conscience). We all do this to some degree, and this is not

PLEASE TURN TO ASK FATHER MIKE ON PAGE 19

Sunday, July 30

Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

1 Kgs 3:5, 7-12 Rom 8:28-30 Mt 13:44-52

Monday, July 31 St. Ignatius of Loyola, priest Ex 32:15-24, 30-34 Mt 13:31-35

Tuesday, Aug. 1 St. Alphonsus Liguori, bishop and doctor of the Church Ex 33:7-11; 34:5b-9, 28 Mt 13:36-43

Wednesday, Aug. 2 Ex 34:29-35 Mt 13:44-46

Thursday, Aug. 3 Ex 40:16-21, 34-38 Mt 13:47-53

Friday, Aug. 4 St. John Vianney, priest Lv 23:1, 4-11, 15-16, 27, 34b-37 Mt 13:54-58

Saturday, Aug. 5 Lv 25:1, 8-17 Mt 14:1-12

Sunday, Aug. 6

Transfiguration of the Lord Dn 7:9-10, 13-14 2 Pt 1:16-19 Mt 17:1-9

Monday, Aug. 7 Nm 11:4b-15 Mt 14:13-21

Tuesday, Aug. 8 St. Dominic, priest Nm 12:1-13 Mt 14:22-36

Wednesday, Aug. 9 Nm 13:1-2, 25—14:1, 26a-29a, 34-35 Mt 15:21-28

Thursday, Aug. 10 St. Lawrence, deacon and martyr 2 Cor 9:6-10 Jn 12:24-26

Friday, Aug. 11 St. Clare, virgin Dt 4:32-40 Mt 16:24-28

Saturday, Aug. 12 Dt 6:4-13 Mt 17:14-20

Sunday, Aug. 13

Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

1 Kgs 19:9a, 11-13a Rom 9:1-5 Mt 14:22-33

STS. MARTHA, MARY AND LAZARUS Martha and her siblings, Mary and Lazarus, are Jesus’ friends in Bethany. In Luke 10:38-42, while Mary sits at Jesus’ feet, Martha is busy serving. When she complains to Jesus, he says: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. … Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” Just before Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead (Jn 11:1-44), Martha confesses: “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God.” Martha is the patron of cooks and servers. The feast day of Sts. Martha, Mary and Lazarus is July 29.

Being astute in Catholic leadership is vital for parents nowadays. The need also presents significant challenges when it comes to perusing, discerning and choosing what is intellectually healthy and of redeeming value for children.

Decisions must be made about books to read, entertainment to view, smartphone usage and access, internet quantity and quality, and so forth. In part, this is the reason I remind parents when presiding at baptism preparation classes and at baptisms that they are the first and primary teachers of their children. Yes indeed, the onus is on mom and dad to rally the troops as they grow in the faith, to give the right direction — preemptively and in here-and-now moments — as each situation presents itself. Recently, a friend of mine from our men’s small group stood as a voice for truth and ethics at a public forum. It was as much a rally as a forum about the issue of an overabundance of specific library materials and references available for children — targeting an age just a few years ahead of the infants and toddlers I would soon be baptizing. The forum was about books, e-books — so called “educational materials” — that are available in our public libraries that promote a gender ideology that smacks against Catholic teaching. Attendees included Catholic comrades and others of faith and reason who teach, believe and practice within their own families God’s design “… male and female he created them” (Gn 1:27) when it comes to the question of gender and the natural order of things. My colleagues were greatly outnumbered. Nonetheless, the event provided an interesting and fruitful discussion the next morning at our weekly small group gathering. It was a relevant time to pray about the controversial issue, where much strength, healing and transformation is needed. Compassionate and compelling voices are needed to represent the family as the vital cell of society, protecting parents’ rights to bring up their children without coercion — subtle or otherwise. Peaceful venues are important for all Catholics to take the opportunity to stand up for what we believe is in lockstep with our faith and right for our families. Yet, first and foremost, the home remains the front line for proper instruction and upbringing. From our baptism, we are brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ the king. And as a duty of that rite, we are anointed priest (to sanctify), prophet (to teach truth) and king (to rule, guide and serve) as parents and spiritual leaders. This “royalty” is a responsibility for all of us — and especially for parents — who are the primary teachers and providers of what is good for their children. Parents help provide truths, expectations and experiences of what will help their children flourish in their sacramental life. Parents can provide God’s rich soil, which sustains each child, helping them through the formidable early years of life as “one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit that yield a hundred or sixty or thirty fold” (Mt 13:23). Rallying the troops at home for “truth discussions” starts at that age of culpability, which those closest to their children know best — mom and dad. Certainly, grandparents, godparents and family friends are at work here, as well.

In the words of St. John Paul II, given in a homily during his papacy: “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.”

Deacon Bird ministers to St. Joseph in Rosemount and All Saints in Lakeville and assists with the archdiocesan Catholic Watchmen movement. He can be reached at gordonbird@rocketmail com

The desire to be a parent is natural and runs so deep that bearing the cross of infertility can leave couples with a devastating longing. This devastation is a reality for about 9% of men and 11% of women. Amid this painful longing, too often couples seeking answers and options are placed on the assisted reproduction track — a dangerous and expensive endeavor that generates many ethical dilemmas — with the promise that the couple can create (or even design) a child.

During the 2023 legislative session, a bill, SF1704, nearly passed that would mandate insurance coverage by large group health plans for infertility and fertility preservation services, such as in vitro fertilization for married couples who have tried to conceive naturally for six to 12 months depending on the woman’s age, for single individuals, or for same-sex couples. No exemptions exist for companies or organizations that do not agree with these controversial practices. Fortunately, this bill did not make it to the finish line. It is bound to re-emerge in 2024. Were this bill to pass, a single person or gay or lesbian couple would be granted insurance coverage to create a family by way of technology, contrary to how God intended the family unit to grow. Obvious ethical concerns are present in these instances, such as selling sperm and egg cells, the renting of women’s wombs as surrogates and intentionally creating circumstances in which a child is separated from the parents who share the child’s DNA.

Mandating insurance coverage would impact insurance premiums across the board. It often takes three to four IVF cycles on average before a viable pregnancy is achieved. One cycle can cost between $15,000 and $30,000 depending on the clinic and the individual health needs of the patient. Multiplying that by three cycles, insurance companies are looking at a $45,000 to $120,000 price tag. But the great financial cost is just one negative facet of this bill.

The root issue is the human cost — the lives created and intentionally killed or abandoned and the disruption of the natural marital act. The Church raises ethical concerns about assisted reproduction such as IVF, which creates an excess of embryos, as written in “Dignitas Personae”:

“The process of in vitro fertilization very frequently involves the deliberate destruction of embryos ... (and) subsequent experience has shown, however, that all techniques of in vitro fertilization proceed as if the human embryo were simply a mass of cells to be used, selected, and discarded.” Concerns are also raised about genetic screening and testing so that the “best” embryo is implanted into the mother’s womb, tantamount to eugenics.

For married couples, it is good to try to overcome obstacles that may be preventing the conception of a child, and there are many incredible medical advances that are morally licit for married couples. In the document “Donum Vitae” the Church teaches that if a given medical intervention helps or assists the marital act in achieving pregnancy, then it is moral. If the intervention replaces the marital act, it is not moral.

July 23-29 is Natural Family Planning Awareness Week — a great time to learn about the morally licit means available to couples trying to overcome infertility. To learn more, visit usccb org/topics/ natural-family-planning

To stay up to date on the Minnesota Legislature’s attempts to mandate insurance coverage for unethical fertility treatments and more, join the Catholic Advocacy Network at mncatholic org/join