The only way to win the battle of the sexes

In case you haven’t noticed, the battle of the sexes has entered new and dangerous territory.

It’s not just that there’s heightened conflict within malefemale relationships and interactions. Instead, gender relations in the U.S. are increasingly marked by something else: downright detachment from, and disregard for, the opposite sex.

After decades of feminist insistence that women are not only equal to men but also don’t require them, it is now men who are living out a version of that old Gloria Steinem slogan, increasingly behaving as if they need a woman like a fish needs a bicycle.

This is exemplified in the growing prominence of figures like Andrew Tate — a former kickboxer-turned-misogynistic influencer who once said he would never get married because it doesn’t have any “tactical advantage”; or the rise of the Men Going Their Own Way movement, which encourages men to separate themselves from women and a society that has been corrupted by feminism.

So, if men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, increasingly both are just staying put, not even bothering to deal with each other on planet Earth.

This sexual isolationism has been aided and abetted by technology that week at Mass that, even though the Church has diverse ministries, we have unity of mission. And that mission is to be leaven, or yeast, in a world that is hurting, in a pluralistic society that has accepted the message of relativity.

As Catholic Christians, we are to be joyful and radiate the light we receive from Christ, who is really and truly present to us in the Eucharist. We become members of Christ’s mystical body through our acceptance of this truth and our participation in the Eucharistic meal. We do this in community. There is a seamlessness to the way we live, as we promote our union with him in every aspect of our lives, which draws others to us as they wonder about the source of our joy.

As members of the lay apostolate, we are exhorted to take an active role in the explanation and defense of Christian principles, each according to our talents and abilities. In many ways, we are like the early Christian Church during the apostolic era. We, like the Apostles, are living in a world that is hostile to our beliefs, and perhaps even threatened by our conviction and passion, which should only spur us to supply light in this dark world.

The Vatican II document, “Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity,” or “Apostolicam Actuositatem” states that “the laity have an active part of their own in the life and action of the Church. Their action within the Church communities is so necessary that without it the apostolate of the pastors will frequently be unable to obtain its full effect. … (L)ay persons of a genuinely apostolic spirit supply the needs of their brothers and are a source of consolation no less to the pastors than to reduces sex and reproduction to mere mechanical functions, rather than interpersonal realities. With in vitro fertilization, women don’t need men to have babies. With pornography — and the development of disturbingly lifelike virtual reality simulations — men don’t need women for sexual pleasure.

The problem hasn’t escaped mainstream attention. For instance, the new Barbie movie (which I haven’t seen, but have read copious reviews of) tries to resolve this dynamic by essentially offering a model of “coexistence.” The tensions that emerge in the film between the Barbies and the Kens reach an agreeable conclusion by, in the words of one reviewer, opting for “Swiss neutrality in the battle of the sexes.” Men are awesome, women are awesome, and they can live together peacefully without having to define themselves in relation to the other.

But this kind of coexistence is not true harmony. Instead, it is the “harmony” of the savanna watering hole, as if men were crocodiles and women were hippos, and the best they can hope to achieve is a kind of “go along to get along” nonaggression.

This is certainly not the kind of harmony one might hope to achieve between men and women, whose very bodies seem to indicate that they are, in a sense, made for each other. Barbie just offers this kind of cease-fire, but no real and lasting peace, because peace requires justice, and justice requires things to be in right relationship with each other.

If Barbie isn’t the answer, what is?

The work of Catholic scholar Erika Bachiochi suggests that part of a solution can be found in the origins of feminism, particularly in the thought of Mary Wollstonecraft. Unlike second wave feminists, who sought to erase legal and social distinctions between men and women, and certainly unlike the third wave feminists who began to undermine sexual distinction in toto, this 18th century English woman’s solution to the tensions that emerge between men

uRead the Vatican II document, the “Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity.” It can be found at tinyurl com/mr3evjjn uBe convinced of the importance of our role in the world. uLive the faith in small ways each day. the rest of the faithful” (A.A., 10).

Ours is a time for great courage and conviction, not timidity and fear. The Lord needs every one of us to help reclaim this broken world for God. Whether at work, in our neighborhood, or even our own family, we must understand what is being asked of us and then bravely step forward in faith that the Holy Spirit will guide and help us.

The “Apostolate of the Laity” asserts that “the laity accomplish the Church’s mission in the world principally by that blending of conduct and faith which makes them the light of the world” (A.A., 13). What can we do today to live as vibrant members of the lay apostolate? We can radiate our Christian joy, showing that there are absolutes we can rely on, and be leaven in our hurting world.

Soucheray is a licensed marriage and family therapist emeritus and a member of St. Ambrose in Woodbury. Learn more at her website ifhwb com and women was something else entirely: virtue.

Wollstonecraft didn’t ignore or deny that there could be injustices in malefemale relationships. Her solution wasn’t to create barriers between the two or deny distinctions, but to emphasize

how men and women, equal and complementary human beings, must find ways to live together in harmonious interdependence. For instance, differences in the frequency of sexual

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Iwas raised in a spiritual, but non-religious, household. I was taught who Jesus is with a focus on his love for all of us. I didn’t attend church until high school. I joined a youth program at a Lutheran church in Cloquet and I really enjoyed the sense of community and the opportunity to learn more about my faith. However, I stopped attending church in college due to being busy and falling away from my faith.

In my early 20s, I started to long for a spiritual connection to God. I was dating Emily, the woman to whom I am now happily married, who invited me to attend Mass at the Basilica of St. Mary in Minneapolis. I was immediately drawn to the beauty of the liturgy and the warmth of the community. I knew that I had found a place where I could grow in my faith.

In 2016, I started the OCIA process, which is the Catholic Church’s program for adults who are interested in becoming Catholic. I learned about the rich tradition of the Catholic Church, and I was confirmed in 2017.

One of the things that drew me to the Catholic Church was its approach to the Bible. I had always struggled with how people literally interpreted the Bible, but I learned that Catholics approach the Bible spiritually and take into consideration the context of the time that it was written and the bigger message that God is sharing. This really broke down barriers I had built up in my heart over 20 years.

As a Catholic, I see how we put into practice God’s word every day. Helping the poor and those in need is so crucial to my faith, and I’m proud to serve with others in my faith community. I now serve as a team leader in OCIA, walking with young and old people who are deciding whether to become Catholic. This ministry has strengthened my own faith and belief, and it’s inspiring to see the Holy Spirit work in others.