Tanglewood/River Oaks Buzz - November 2019

Wiley on Broadway The Passionate Pianist Lunch Monitor Bettina Siegel

Cole Dawson’s New Heart

Immigrant Thanksgiving Traditions In Eric Suhl’s Memory

by Jennifer Oakley

Jill Oliver’s Kitchen Garden Chef’s Corner: Jonny Rhodes Living Near Family Cooking: Everything but Turkey Houston, TX Permit No. 2047 PAID

Thanksgiving on the Road

US Postage PRSRT STD

Recognizing Alzheimer’s

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EDITOR’S NOTE Fourteen years ago, writer Cindy Gabriel called to tell me she wanted to write an inspiring story of an 11-year-old only boy named Wiley who had lost both of his parents. The story was about his move to Houston to join a large family of cousins. I was planning to assign her the same story. I told her she had the neighborhood wrong, though. She said Wiley lived in Bellaire.

I said no – he lived in West University. I was sure of it. As it turned out, we were both right. There were two young boys, both newly adopted, both named Wiley, living blocks from one another. Cindy shared their journey to Houston then, and it's still unforgettable. In this issue, Cindy catches up with the Wiley from Bellaire, who has pursued his creative dreams and has some awesome news. You’ll also want to check out Jennifer Oakley’s inspiring tale of Cole Dawson and his new heart, along with Thanksgiving traditions, recipes and more. Wishing you all a memorable holiday season. joni@thebuzzmagazines.com

THE BUZZ MAGAZINES BELLAIRE • WEST UNIVERSITY • MEMORIAL • TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS Published by Hoffman Marketing & Media, LLC 5001 Bissonnet, Suite 100, Bellaire, Texas 77401 info@thebuzzmagazines.com • p: 713.668.4157 • f: 713.665.2940 Follow us on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter thebuzzmagazines.com Editor Publisher Associate Editors Editorial Assistant Design Manager Staff Writers

Contributing Writers Account Managers

Joni Hoffman Michael Hoffman Cheryl Laird Jordan Magaziner Steinfeld Pooja Salhotra John Duboise Tracy L. Barnett Deborah Lynn Blumberg Sharon Albert Brier Andria Frankfort Angie Frederickson Todd Freed Cindy Gabriel Cathy Gordon Michelle Casas Groogan Dai Huynh Annie Blaylock McQueen Jennifer Oakley Cheryl Ursin Russell Weil Katie Doyle Andrea Blitzer, Stephanie Goldfield Leslie Little, Jo Rogers

On our cover: Cole Dawson is thriving today after receiving a donated heart in August 2018.

Cover photo by Nikky LaWell, lawellphoto.com The Buzz Magazines has made all reasonable attempts to verify the accuracy of all information contained within. Advertising claims are solely the responsibility of the advertiser. Copyright © 2019 Hoffman Marketing & Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any portion of this magazine by any means without written permission is strictly prohibited. Printed on recycled paper. Please remember to recycle.

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MAILBAG

Your letters, thoughts, opinions Maybe I’ll take the train I read the article On Track [by Cheryl Ursin, October 2019] in the Morning Buzz and thought it was well done and very informative. Not long ago, I was looking into a trip to Big Bend and never considered Amtrak as a way of getting there.

So thank you for bringing that to my attention.

I have travelled on the Patrick Henry cars from Denver to Chicago. It was an amazing experience.

Stacy Langford Editor’s note: Happy traveling, Stacy. For the rest of you who would like to sign up to receive our Morning Buzz e-newsletter in your inbox, see thebuzzmagazines.com/morning-buzz.

Hidden world of rail Reading the article On Track by Cheryl Ursin [October 2019] brought back very fond memories. As a person who grew up riding the commuter train into the city, Ms. Ursin truly captured the essence of being a passenger on a train. It is also very nice to be able to learn of all of Houston’s hidden gems that give the city the vibrant welcoming feeling that I have been a witness of since moving to Houston.

When it comes to trains, the Patrick Henry rail cars are on another level of hospitality. Knowing Patrick himself, he always strives to make you feel at home, and as a rider, you can feel taken care of while being one of his passengers. It is an experience that everyone should try at least once in their life.

Thank you for giving us a glimpse into the hidden world of trains.

Char Galpin

Gorgeous golden retrievers I have been a long time Golden owner throughout college and my early thirties. I loved reading your story [Friends and Dogs: Meeting through fur babies, by Annie Blaylock McQueen, October 2019], and these Goldens are gorgeous pups! In fact, they immediately put a smile on my face and brought me back to so many wonderful memories with my Hunter. Funny enough, my Golden and I were featured in the Baylor magazine as well. They are truly an all-American dog that are worth talking about. Dogs are family and draw many pet owners alike together in new friendships.

Kristin Massey

point out so many of the refreshing qualities of these awesome young people [A Toast to Millenial Magic: Hashtags of hope for the future, October 2019].

Debbie Tucker

Thank you for soccer story Fantastic article [Magical Soccer Trip: The best day of my life, by Andria Frankfort, September 2019]! You did such a great job, and I loved how you were able to highlight Jo [Helland] and her sweet support of Grace [Vallone]. Really well done, and we just loved it. Thank you for telling Grace’s story! It made her feel great!

Carrie Vallone

Astros forever Just wanted to say how fun it was to see the write up on Leo Vasquez and section 120 in The Buzz [Section 120 Fan Club: Seatmates bond over Astros baseball, by Karen Vine Fuller, September 2019]. Super fun to highlight our ’Stros fans. Thanks, The Buzz!

Kim Jessup Send letters to info@thebuzzmagazines.com. Please include your name, address, phone number and email address for verification purposes. Letters are subject to editing for clarity and space. Views expressed in letters do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Buzz Magazines, and The Buzz takes no responsibility for the content and opinions expressed in them.

What’s your story?

We are looking for residents for upcoming articles who: • Have a special love story.

• Have an interesting travel story.

• Know a Buzzworthy neighbor to profile.

• Have unique hobbies or collections.

• Have funny or unusual parenting stories.

Fan of Cindy and millenials So many of us are thoroughly enjoying Cindy Gabriel's articles. They are a welcome oasis of optimism and clarity right now. Those of us with millennials, either our own or by association, appreciate seeing Cindy TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 6

If this sounds like you or someone you know, please contact us at info@thebuzzmagazines.com or 713.668.4157, ext 12.

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NEIGHBORS

by Cindy Gabriel, staff writer

The Lucky-Unlucky Kid Teri Duff

A Wiley made it to Broadway

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ourteen years ago, The Buzz told the story of an 11 year old named Wiley who lost both parents within a year of one another to cancer. The story was about his move to Texas to join a large family of cousins and the amazing way things unfolded from there.

As it turned out, there were two Wileys living a matter of blocks from each other, in Bellaire and West University, with an uncannily similar set of highly unusual circumstances. It’s a story I still can’t believe, and I wrote it.

What prompts this update is a newsflash about the Bellaire Wiley. Wiley DeWeese is all grown up and directing the orchestra for the musical The Lightning Thief on Broadway in New York City, right now as we speak. It opened Oct. 16 and runs through Jan. 5. Let’s go!

Wiley’s own story has all the elements of a Broadway-destined tale itself, starting with the Brackendorffs.

Everybody knew the Brackendorffs. Mom Jean was a top executive with Texas Instruments, poised, organized and somehow seemingly around for the important times for their brood of three. Dad Bo was a corporate CPA, calm, unruffled and often still pressed and pleated on dad duties meticulously orchestrated

by Jean’s color-coded calendar.

The kids were active in sports, Scouts and Bellaire United Methodist Church. All three entered Horn Elementary. There was a rhythm and predictability about the Brackendorffs that was unrivaled in an already predictable community. However, if there were one word the Brackendorffs would not claim about themselves, it was “artsy.”

Then, something decidedly unBrackendorffian happened. Wiley, an 11-year-old bolt of lightning from San Francisco, stepped into the family cast. He fit in like the bottom rung of a kid ladder, from Katherine, 17, Thomas, 14, and Patricia, 13, to Wiley, 11. “The first time Patricia yelled at me, I was so happy. I finally felt like an annoying little brother,” said Wiley.

This Texas family of sports-minded, conservative-leaning Methodists enfolded this artsy, Unitarian-raised, only child. “They loved me with the same love,” Wiley said.

FEELIN' THE LOVE Wiley DeWeese feelin’ the love from his biggest fans. From left: Matt Boyd, Katherine Brackendorff Boyd, Patricia Brackendorff, Thomas Brackendorff, Jean Brackendorff, Wiley DeWeese and Bo Brackendorff.

Wiley’s early childhood had been shaped by experiences like watching his father, Dall, working the lighting for The Phantom of the Opera in San Francisco, while his mother, Tomianne, worked on costuming. Wiley remembered getting a view from his dad’s towering perch. The crashing chandelier made such an impression on him that, in elementary school, he reenacted it in his own production with an elaborate construction-paper chandelier.

While Wiley was still a preschooler, Tomianne (Bo’s first cousin) was diagnosed with breast cancer. Later, Dall developed a form of lung cancer called mesothelioma. Jean said Tomianne asked her, only once, to please take Wiley if anything happened to them both. The two families vacationed together once a year, but otherwise lead their normal lives. In 2002, Wiley’s dad died. Less than a year later, his mom passed. Wiley finished out fifth grade in his own home, cared for by close family friends who moved in, and then, he moved to Texas.

Wiley’s piano was added to the Brackendorff household, and Jean was suddenly calling “artsy” families like ours to find out about schools and music lessons. Wiley followed a path that led him to The High School for Performing and Visual Arts in jazz piano, where he solicited the talents of other students and came up with his own musicals, orchestrating entertaining

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fundraisers, aimed at parents, to pull them off.

“If there is one influence that got me here, it’s HSPVA,” said Wiley. But NYU, where Wiley went to college, helped. “I was able to take advantage of my status as a student to worm my way into orchestra pits and visit with the conductors,” said Wiley.

Prior to his Broadway debut, Wiley was the music director, conductor, and co-orchestrator for The Lightning Thief on its successful 2019 national tour, which earned its spot at Broadway’s Longacre Theatre.

Wiley is still close to his San Francisco roots, including many of his parents’ friends in theater.

The home he grew up in has been rented by family friends all these years, enabling Wiley to go home for regular visits. One day the home will be his again.

But not too soon. Wiley already has another Broadway gig lined up after this: associate music director for Girl From the North Country, a musical

by Conor McPherson with songs by Bob Dylan.

“As I often say,” said Wiley, “I’m the luckiest unlucky kid I know.”

MORE ONLINE We reached out to the other Wiley, and all is well, though he is happy to keep his life private. For Cindy Gabriel’s original article, search “A Story of Two Wileys” at thebuzzmagazines.com.

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Jessica Laviage

FOOD

by Deborah Lynn Blumberg, staff writer

The Lunch Monitor Food watchdog Bettina Siegel

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former corporate lawyer, writer and food advocate, Bettina Siegel is best known for her blog “The Lunch Tray,” which tackles issues related to kids and food.

Siegel started the blog nine years ago after a friend convinced her to join an HISD committee for parents to offer input on school menus.

Siegel, whose own mother embraced natural foods after years of serving up Duncan Hines mixes and Hunt’s pudding packs, thought schools could do better than Texas Frito Pies and oversized brownies. The mom of two was also alarmed at the vast amounts of junk food her kids were being offered both in and outside school.

So in 2010, she wrote her first blog. Since then, Siegel has waged three viral and successful online petition campaigns related to school kids and food – one on the so-called “pink slime” in school meals. She broke a story on McDonald’s that ran in The Washington Post and forced the fast food company to scrap a deceptive marketing program for kids, and her story about “lunch shaming” ran on page one of The New York Times. Her first book, Kid Food, came out this fall.

What drove you to write Kid Food?

So many health-conscious parents are frustrated with how hard it is to raise healthy eaters in our country today. They feel like they’re being thwarted at every turn. So I wanted to have us all think about that on a deeper level.

Who’s benefiting from the status quo, and how can we change it? I’m definitely not a proponent of banning foods or making foods forbidden, but we can do a lot to change our environment to make the healthy choice the easy choice. I wanted the book to leave parents with insight and optimism, and maybe some parents will even be interested in activism on these issues.

How is Houston faring when it comes to serving healthy food in schools?

With cafeteria food, we’re ahead of the game.

We have a progressive school nutrition director, and Houston is now running its own school lunch program instead of Aramark running it.

The food we’re seeing isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely moving in the right direction. That said, when it comes to so-called “competitive food,” which is food sold to kids during the school day

outside the school meal, like at fundraisers and in school stores, there's a lot of room for improvement. In Texas, schools are allowed to sell junk food six days a year, but in reality it’s being sold much more often in HISD because, unfortunately, schools need the funding.

How can parents find out more about what their kids eat at school?

You have the right as a parent to go to the KID FOOD Bettina Siegel's new book, Kid Food, delves into why raising healthy lunchroom to see what’s eaters can be tricky. going on, but in terms of pletely artificial construct. So maybe have your classroom food, you’ll probably have to rely on kids split an entrée, or create a meal for them your child’s own reports. That said, every school out of appetizers or side dishes. That lets kids that participates in the federal school meal proexpand their palates and discover there’s food gram has to have a local school wellness policy, beyond pizza and nuggets. Because, if they’re and part of the policy’s job is to set a nutritional raised on pizza and nuggets, then how do we standard for the food given to kids in the classexpect them to suddenly just start eating fruits room, such as at holiday parties or as teacher and vegetables? rewards. Parents can see HISD’s policy online.

What are some Buzz-area restaurants with better Individual schools can also have their own, kids’ menus? more stringent policy if they like. Some schools Not surprisingly, restaurants that make a also have a wellness committee, which parents point of touting their fresher, healthier food can join, or parents can start their own committend to have healthier children’s menus, too – tee at their school. places like Flower Child and True Food You’re an advocate of bringing back home ecoKitchen, for example. My own family loves nomics. Why? Jenni’s Noodles, and their “Logan Seven” kids’ We’ve never needed home economics more menu, which features pared-down Asian noodle than today because people have unfortunately and rice dishes. Even places like Jason’s Deli lost their cooking skills. But the further away from have improved the variety of their kids’ meal cooking we get, the more we have to rely on offerings in recent years. So, while you can still processed food and restaurant food, which is tasty find things like pizza and nuggets, there are also but isn’t necessarily good for us. So kids need to more wholesome sandwiches on wheat bread, know how to fend for themselves in the kitchen, and they even have a variety plate where kids and to learn that it’s possible to throw together a can pick from different fresh fruits and veggies simple, economical meal with low stress. with dips, along with proteins like cheese or a You write about the unhealthy choices most kids’ hard-boiled egg. And, of course, most of menus offer. What’s a better way to order for kids?

Houston’s authentic international restaurants I like the idea of moving away from this don’t even offer children’s menus because in notion of “kid food”– that kids will only eat many countries it’s a totally foreign concept! things like mac and cheese – because it’s a com-

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NEIGHBORS

by Andria Frankfort, staff writer

Recognizing Alzheimer’s When in doubt, get checked out

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ecently, Dr. Oz, of The Dr. Oz Show, publicly revealed that his mother has Alzheimer’s disease, a progressive brain disorder that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills.

He was upset, of course, by the diagnosis. But more than that, he was upset that he, a doctor endorsing health and wellness, had overlooked the signs. If Dr. Oz didn’t spot the indicators, countless others surely miss them, too.

Part of that is not knowing what to look for, but another part is not wanting to know what might be scary, and inevitable.

Kathy Spetter, family services manager at the Houston Southeast Texas Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, says, “Often, when caregivers look back, they can identify different things Mom was doing that were indicative of a problem. Repeating questions, forgetting conversations. People will think they’re walking along okay without going to the doctor even if they’re suspicious.’”

In her 20 years working with people with dementia and their caregivers, Kathy says it’s common that patients and families won’t want to think about the ramifications of a diagnosis.

“A lot of people don’t know what to do, they don’t know there’s help and support. Instead of dragging their feet, we suggest being proactive with a doctor.” Kathy adds that a cause other than dementia might be at play, another reason to see a doctor.

Last year, Sarah Ray chaired the Alzheimer’s Women’s Auxiliary for Resources and Education (AWARE) luncheon, which was founded by her mother, Carolyn Wimberly, 20 years ago. Carolyn, herself a caregiver for her mother who had Alzheimer’s, organized the first luncheon to raise money for caregiver support, including a round-the-clock helpline and educational programs. “My mother’s mother had Alzheimer’s before people talked about Alzheimer’s,” says Sarah, a retired attorney and mother of two boys in their 20s. “The reason I stepped in is that about five years ago, my dad got Alzheimer’s. So my mother had her mother, her husband, and she also had a sister who died of another form of dementia.” (There are many

types of dementia.

Alzheimer’s is the most common.)

Sarah’s father, Bryan Wimberly, died this past July.

“My dad ran an oilfield and industrial supply company, went to Yale and the Wharton School of Business, and he had a genius level IQ,” Sarah says. “My mom had been so involved [with the A l z h e i m e r ’ s Association] that she recognized the signs very early on. The first two years, he was forget- AWARE Twenty years ago, Carol Wimberly (at left) founded the AWARE luncheon benefiting Alzheimer's caregivers. Last year, her daughter Sarah Ray chaired ful, got lost, was just the event. vaguely off. The last regard to medical or legal or financial decisions, three years he was unrecognizable. He always before the cognitive impairment advances.” had a very gentle demeanor. That went away Kathy works with caregivers to create action with Alzheimer’s.” plans. “We talk about what their greatest chalSarah, who recently joined the board of the lenges are and help people take steps to make Alzheimer’s Association, is “a believer that early life a little easier,” she says. “A lot of caregivers testing is very important if you think there’s feel isolated and alone because they’ve become something going on, because we’re beginning to a 24-7 caregiver. Relationships fall by the waylearn that there are some lifestyle changes that side. We help them connect with caregivers’ might slow the progression of the disease. As support groups and other people who underscary as it is, go ahead and get tested.” Some stand what they are experiencing.” Some 40 lifestyle factors that may slow Alzheimer’s support groups exist throughout Houston. include controlling blood pressure, diabetes and In the end, Sarah and her mother realized cholesterol; maintaining social connections; they could not physically care for their father exercising; and staying intellectually active. and husband and ultimately moved him to Through the Alzheimer’s Association, Kathy Belmont Village. “It’s really hard because you suggests keeping a journal to document the love the person so much,” Sarah says. “You don’t behavior in question, so that it can be clearly want to abandon them. But it’s not a one-man communicated, along with frequency, to a physijob, taking care of someone. That’s why cian. The first point of contact should be a perAWARE was created: to provide support for son’s general practitioner, who will start with a people who might not otherwise have it while series of questions that would indicate cognitive caring for people with dementia.” impairment. Family members might also be on hand to express concerns. The next step would be seeing a neurologist, possibly for an MRI. See this story at thebuzzmagazines.com to learn “There’s a window of time to be proactive more about early signs of Alzheimer’s, resources and with your loved one,” Kathy says. “You can tips for caregivers. accomplish certain things like their wishes with

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MORE ONLINE

lawellphoto.com

NEIGHBORS

by Jennifer Oakley, staff writer

Braveheart Giving thanks for a given heart

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nside the chest of 57-year-old Cole Dawson, down below a thin, 10-inch scar, beats the heart of a much younger man. Literally. A little more than a year ago, Cole was the recipient of a new heart, gifted by a 34-year-old organ donor.

Cole credits his faith, prayers and lots of angels for helping him through heart transplantation surgery. And he gives thanks to his donor for allowing him to live and share his message.

“I want to be the poster child for heart transplant. It is awesome. I feel like I am in my 20s,” says the outgoing and upbeat Cole. “I don’t quite have the stamina yet, but I have the strength and the energy. I want people to know that a heart transplant is not a scary thing. It is a blessing beyond measure.”

A heavy heart In matters of the heart, paths can sometimes be long and winding. Cole’s road to a healthy heart was three decades in the making. Cole learned he needed a heart transplant in June 2018 – 32 years after being diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia in 1986. Two years of treatment, including a bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy, got Cole his health back – but ultimately weakened his heart. At first the decline was not noticeable, but as the years passed, he needed a pacemaker and then an implantable cardioverter defibrillator – a device that can restore a normal heartbeat by sending an electric pulse or shock to the heart.

By the time Cole arrived at his doctor’s office that day in June with wife Carla by his side, his heart was giving out. But Cole was not. “My heart was so big it was not pumping blood,” he says. “A healthy heart pumps six liters of blood around your body per minute.

Mine was pumping 1.2 liters, and doctors consider death 1.1 liters.”

The realization that his heart was going to have to be replaced made Cole pause to accept the gravity of the situation, but “once we decided to do it, I said from this point forward, we are only going to be positive.” He moved into the Houston Methodist Hospital cardiac intensive care center that very day, not knowing if or when he would get a new heart.

SWEETHEARTS Carla and Cole Dawson have been married for 29 years and are thankful for the donor heart that was given to Cole in 2018 that saved his life.

The heart of the matter “The doctors said he was the youngest, healthiest-looking guy in the ward with the worst heart. Cole said, ‘Call the girls and tell them,’” Carla says, referring to their three daughters, Catherine, 26, Christie, 24, and Camille, 21. “And, ‘We are only going to have positivity in Room 17.’

“I can say that, with him being on life support waiting for a heart, making it positive was a challenge.” Before Cole could even be placed on the heart transplant list, he had to have his health stabilized. “It was not good for several weeks, he had lots and lots of complications, and

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they found cancer in his thyroid,” Carla says.

"My dad died of a massive heart attack at 49 years old. I was not ready to lose Cole.”

Once Cole’s health issues steadied (which included surgery to insert a heart balloon pump and thyroidectomy surgery), he was placed on the list, and the waiting began. “I pray every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up,” says Cole. “I felt very at peace in the hospital.

I never had a bad day. I could look out the window at the sky, and I had my friends and family.

I knew God had my back. And, I also knew that you and me – when we make plans and pray, it does not mean it is God’s (continued on page 16)

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(continued from page 14) plan. At the end of the

day, it is God’s plan that I wanted.”

Angels among us Both devout Christians, Carla and Cole leaned on their religion as they waited all summer long for a match. “I grew up with faith. My mom, Neva Dawson, talked a lot about faith growing up. In the hospital, Mom sent me a photo saying her prayer group was praying for me again,” says Cole, who is an asset manager with HighTower Advisors. “The same ladies who prayed for me in 1986 did their magic again.”

He credits prayers and messages sent to him via text, cards and calls for lifting him up as he was confined to his hospital room. “Your life becomes simple, and you live within a very small box,” he says. “I watched TV, I read, and I prayed.”

Carla, who kept a brave face in front of Cole, sometimes wondered how she had the strength to carry on behind the scenes. “We really felt those prayers. I had a certain route through the hospital that I would walk at night, and I would think, Why am I okay? I am walking and talking, but I should be in a ball in a corner of a room freaking out,” she says. “I don’t think I am that strong, but God sent us angels. They were fluttering around.”

The couple both point to specific angels who helped them: their very first nurse’s brother had gone to college with their daughter Catherine; a stranger in the hospital waiting room gave Carla a Bible verse of Jeremiah 29:11 (a verse that she had studied for the first time that week); and all of their doctors were miracle workers, they say. They also strongly believed God’s hands were on their shoulders.

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have in store for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Heart of gold And, then, there was the heart.

After 55 days of waiting for a donor heart, and with his heart balloon pump failing, Cole was praying to keep his spirits up. He says right at the point when he was faltering slightly, he got word that there was a heart that would fit his tall, 6’4” frame. “When they wheeled me off on August 20 to get the heart, I left it to God,” says Cole, who points out that donors remain anonymous. “They told me my donor was 34 years old and a male. Every day I think: Thank you, God, for that person.”

“When Cole told me that he had a heart, he started crying,” recalls Carla. “He said, ‘The best day of my life is a family’s nightmare.’ It's such a dichotomy. This is the day we have been waiting for and praying for, but it’s the other family’s tragedy. He was 34 – that’s all we know. People who are organ donors have an intrinsic passion and kindness; they have a real passion for the human condition.”

In a heartbeat The surgery took almost seven hours to perform, and they still marvel at the success. “That is a whole other spiritual level. His surgeon

AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH Christie, Cole, Camille, Catherine and Carla Dawson (from left) celebrated the one-year anniversary of Cole’s heart-transplant surgery with a hike in the mountains of Crested Butte, Colorado. It was Cole’s first trip to that altitude since well before his transplant.

wanted Cole’s operation room time and the donor’s operation room time to be exactly the same that whole night,” says Carla. “We were updated: his donor is in surgery right now, the heart is being taken out, packed in ice, driven to our hospital. It was a total miracle in every way. When they actually put the donor’s heart in, they have to flush the fluids out — these are the fluids that allow you to transport the heart from body to body. Dr. Barry Trachtenberg, his cardiologist, said, ‘The minute we flushed the fluid out, this heart was ready, and it just started pumping. I have been doing this 25 years, and I never tire of seeing the heart beat on its own.’”

Young at heart Cole says he is still in awe of having a functioning heart that makes him feel like a much younger man. “My surgery was on August 20th, and my birthday is on August 30th,” he says.

“Last year, with my new heart, I was 34 on my 56th birthday. Now I am 57, and the heart is 35.”

In the 15 months since he left the hospital,

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Cole has had to recover at home, away from germs that could compromise his weakened immune system. Constant monitoring occurred for the first year, with tests done to gauge how his body accepted his new heart. Turns out, it was a match made in heaven.

He was recently cleared to travel and was able to go on trips with family and friends to Hawaii and Colorado. He has started playing golf and tennis and works out with weights. Cole appreciates his new heart every day.

“I am thankful to God, to the donor and their family and to Methodist Hospital,” he says. “If you look at your driver’s license, on the lower right-hand corner, there is a heart signifying organ donation. If you do not have a heart on your license, you should. It's one of the greatest gifts you can ever give.”

Carla is grateful, too. “It is the family’s decision whether or not they want to meet Cole. I hope they want to meet him because I would love for the family to see how Cole is caring for the gift that they gave him.”

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by Cathy Gordon, staff writer

The Passionate Pianist

Elizabeth Marie, alittlejoyphotography.com

NEIGHBORS

From childhood dreams to virtuoso performer

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t’s a bright, sunny day, not a cloud in sight.

But inside Gayle Martin’s small Bellaire home, a storm brews upon a Steinway’s keys, plumbing the depths and fury of master composer Ludwig van Beethoven’s wildly foreboding Appassionata Sonata. Gayle’s long, pale fingers flitter through eerily beautiful passages. Notes boom like thunderheads over mountains.

And through it all, her dog Eddie, a cute scruffy mix, lies beside the grand piano, his puglike tail occasionally thumping as if keeping beat. Lucky dog. He gets front row seats to all of his owner’s practices as well as living room performances attended by family and friends. “He barks when they applaud,” says the concert pianist. “Such a joyful little dog.”

Yes, Gayle mesmerizes audiences. But they’re usually of the human kind. Over the decades, she’s filled venues throughout the world with her passionate, artful, yet technically precise playing. The virtuoso performer becomes totally immersed in the music, as if every note is stored somewhere within her soul.

“The musical connection to people is what matters,” says the 67 year old, classically trained at The Juilliard School in New York. “I’ve always felt the emotion in the music, even as a child.”

She need look no further than her living room window to bring back memories of her earliest piano days. Her childhood home, a 1930s saltbox, used to sit across the street. Her parents, by intention, didn’t own a television set. So Gayle and sister Mayola were avid readers. And the family had inherited a small Betsy Ross spinet piano.

Gayle recalls sitting under the piano, at her mother’s feet, delighted at the booming vibrations.

At age 6, a babysitter taught her a couple of tunes. When her parents arrived home, she proudly played what she’d learned. And, oh my, her folks thought, who were they to deny promising talent? They immediately solicited Bellaire piano teacher Charlotte Hillbolt for lessons.

The love affair between student and piano began.

“I threw myself into it,” says Gayle, who, at age 8, performed her first solo recital at the University of Houston. She took to the stage at Dudley Recital Hall in a long, yellow dress, per-

forming Chopin, Beethoven and a selfcomposed sonatina.

Houston legend Ruth Burr, a renowned pianist and teacher, took note from the audience.

“She wanted to take me to the next level. I became Ruth Burr’s student at age 9,” says Gayle, who performed yearly class recitals at the University of St. MAGIC FINGERS Juilliard-trained Gayle Martin’s talent and connection to the Thomas. “I remember music mesmerize audiences when she takes to the keys. playing a Josef Haydn “I was like a big fish in a little pond in Houston. sonata, and it was so beautiful and sad that I got But when you go to Juilliard, everyone is a big worked up, almost to crying. Miss Burr encouraged fish in a little pond,” Gayle quips. “I was so happy that. It’s like the quote, ‘Music is the language of and so impressed with how talented everyone emotion.’ I feel that’s true, and so did she.” was the first day of school. The second day it was Gayle relished Burr’s tutelage, visiting her like, ‘Oh my gosh, we are all competitors!’”

Museum District home for lessons on her But she had the chops.

Steinway. “It was like a cultural experience for The undergrad won a Tchaikovsky concerto me,” she says of her worldly, European-trained competition during her sophomore year, edging teacher. At age 11, Burr prepped Gayle for a comout an all-male field of graduate students. As a petition. The prize? Playing with the Houston result, she got to play with the revered Juilliard Symphony. “I won. I played the Beethoven 1st School orchestra. Through student and teacher Piano Concerto with the Houston Symphony,” connections, she began touring overseas during Gayle recalls. “Of course I was a bit nervous, but summers and breaks. Puerto Rico. The nervousness turned to excitement.”

Dominican Republic. Argentina. Upon graduaExcitement took hold, too, when she tion, she was awarded a prestigious scholarship returned to Dudley Recital Hall in 1970 as a toward master studies.

Bellaire High School graduate, wooing the audi“But it wasn’t something I wanted to do ence and reviewers alike with her solo performthen,” Gayle explains. “I was ready for another ance. In a long, flowing green silk gown, she kind of adventure.” took to the keys with gusto, testament to years Vienna beckoned. She packed her bags. She of practice under Burr and a desire to become a embraced the Austrian capital for its culture and concert pianist. music. But the piano teacher she studied with Next stop, The Juilliard School. there unexpectedly died of a heart attack.

“I was naïve back then. I didn’t have any idea Within a year, Gayle returned to the states, that it was difficult to get into Juilliard,” explains choosing New York University (NYU) to pursue Gayle. “It’s like there might be two positions her master’s. “I was ready. And again, I studied open, but tons of people trying to get in. I didn’t under a magnificent teacher.” think about that at all. I just assumed that’s That teacher was Eugene List. The famed where I’d go.” piano player performed for U.S. President Harry She was accepted, with scholarship, studying S. Truman, the United Kingdom’s Prime under Russian-born Madame Rosina Lhévinne, Minister Winston Churchill (continued on page 20) one of the greatest pianists of the 20th century.

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Elizabeth Marie, alittlejoyphotography.com

PRODIGY At left: Adorable mixed-breed Eddie has the best seat in the house for practices and in-home concerts. At right: At age 8, Gayle drew accolades for her solo performance at the University of Houston’s Dudley Recital Hall. (continued from page 18) and Soviet dictator Joseph

Stalin at the Potsdam Conference, a meeting held to settle postwar issues. List went on to perform at the White House during several subsequent administrations. And one day in 1980, Gayle performed there, too, as part of List’s entourage at a White House tea during President Jimmy Carter’s tenure.

“My master’s years were very busy,” says Gayle, who, herself, taught piano lessons while a student. She also played chamber music with some New York musicians and performed at Lincoln Center’s Alice Tully Hall. And, at age 26, she was the only American among 12 pianists in the final rounds of the five-week Tchaikovsky musical competition in Moscow.

“I poured every bit of myself into that,” says Gayle, who became a media darling in Moscow, her image gracing international news.

“I was given the princess treatment, and I discovered I didn’t care for that,” she adds. “And The Today Show and Good Morning America called. I didn’t know who they were. We didn’t own a TV growing up and had never paid attention to TV.” While she didn’t win the competition, she figures she still got the grand prize upon return to New York: husband Jack Henry, a handsome securities analyst she met through friends.

They’ve since divorced, but remain close. “You know, relationships can change. It’s sometimes the evolution of life.”

Life brought a few curve balls. Intense preparation for Moscow left Gayle with an injured

right forearm. She had to relearn her technique, which took time. “I had to go back to a beginner’s mind and give up everything I thought I knew, kind of like a pitcher who has to make mechanical adjustments. I found a great teacher to help me work on this, and I haven’t had a problem since. But in doing so, I somehow divorced myself from the emotion of the music.

What, then, was the point?”

So, like a long, restful pause in a soul-stirring concerto, Gayle took measure. Then a break.

For 10 years.

“From 1985 to 1995 I worked at Estée Lauder in New York as an executive assistant,” she explains. Friends lured her out of retirement a few times “to play concerts here and there.”

But she jokes that it took God knocking her on the head to really get her back to piano.

While doing a dive-roll in a lunchtime gymnastics class with her Estée Lauder friends, she fell on her head. “I couldn’t feel my body from my neck down for a minute or so,” she recalls.

“I felt my life flash in front of me, and I thought, ‘It’ll be okay. I can always put a paintbrush in my mouth and be a mouth artist.’ That’s literally what went through my mind.”

Her body tingled back, but her arms were slow to do so. She’d suffered a spinal injury that took time to heal. “I felt like my hands were on fire for about three days afterward.” After a week, she drew a picture, proving fine motor control.

Close call. She wasn’t going to take her hands for granted, waste her talent. Fingers now

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yearned for the keyboard.

Before long, she was playing a short Tchaikovsky piece for a friend’s gymnastics floor routine. Concerts slowly followed, including a tour in mainland China. Gayle was back. Music to the ears of followers, friends and family.

These days, she practices daily on her refurbished 7-foot, 5-inch shiny black 1894 Steinway grand and plays venues all across the country, mostly on the east coast, some local. She’s put out a CD titled To Keep the Dark Away. And she coaches a slate of ambitious students, many she’s taught since NYU days, who look to her as that masterful teacher.

“Gayle is just magnificent, not just her playing, but her as a person. She’s one of the most generous, deep-thinking people I know,” says her next-door neighbor and friend, attorney Lynne Gomez. Gomez has attended numerous concerts through the years as well as runthrough practices at Gayle’s house.

“And her dog, Eddie, is always there, really paying attention. I have an English Pointer, and when we walk past her house and she’s playing, my dog gets to listen, too,” Gomez adds with a chuckle.

Connecting through the music is the goal, says Gayle, Eddie at her side, his tail wagging like a fluffy metronome. “And that makes me happy.”

Editor’s note: Gayle Martin performs at the Forum Music Teachers Association meeting April 1 at 10 a.m. at the Kawai Piano Gallery at 5800 Richmond Ave. The public is welcome. Her CD can be purchased on Amazon.

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NEIGHBORS

by Pooja Salhotra, staff writer

Touching Hearts Steven David

With caring texts from a stranger

S

ix days after Eric Suhl died by suicide on Feb. 2, 2016, at 28 years old, his closest friends sat huddled together on the couch in the Suhl household in Meyerland, grappling with the loss of the guy who was the life of every party, but silently suffering.

“They couldn’t leave,” said Eric’s mother, Debra Suhl. “They sat in our house until 2 a.m.

They’d sometimes stand up and say, ‘Okay, we better go,’ but then they’d all sit back down.”

For many of the 8-10 friends gathered, Eric’s passing was the first time they experienced the death of a loved one. That night, as they began the process of healing, an idea was born, to create a lasting organization in honor of Eric’s memory.

That idea became a reality with the founding of the Eric M. Suhl Foundation soon after.

Within three months of Eric’s passing, the foundation had organized the inaugural Eric M. Suhl Memorial Golf Tournament, raising $25,000 to donate to the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation.

Eric’s close friends – several of whom founded and still serve as board members of the foundation – knew Eric suffered from ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease that required multiple surgeries and a constant shuffle in and out of emergency rooms. What many of his friends did not know, however, was the extent to which the disease caused Eric mental anguish and stress.

“I feel like I was the only person he could talk to,” said Debra, who suffers from the same hereditary disease. “But he didn’t want to upset me, so he didn’t share all of his feelings with me.

He was determined not to let anyone know how bad it was, and that was a problem.”

While Debra can manage her colitis through daily medication, her son’s symptoms were more severe. After graduating from The University of Texas at Austin in 2009, Eric underwent a major surgery where doctors removed his diseased colon and built a new one called a “jpouch.” The j-pouch, built to hold and pass solid waste, ultimately split, and Eric consequently developed sepsis, a life-threatening disease that increased his risk for infections.

While struggling with colitis and infections, Eric worked as a procurement manager, first at

BOWLING FOR ERIC The Eric M. Suhl Foundation hosted its first Bowl a Strike for Mental Health event this fall, in partnership with Jewish Family Service. From left: Eric’s brothers Kyle Suhl and Ryan Suhl, foundation president Eric Horvitz, development director Jodi Gough, board member Eugene Tunitsky, Eric’s parents Debra Suhl and Randy Suhl, Jewish Family Service CEO Linda Burger and Touching the Heart director Laurie Silver.

a company in Houston, then in Minneapolis and later in Tampa, where he died. All the while, he tried to maintain his normal routine.

He was consistently upbeat, friends recall, and always ensured others had fun.

“He was the life of every party and always wanted to have a good time,” says one of Eric’s best friends, Eugene Tunitsky, who also serves on the board of the Eric M. Suhl Foundation. Eugene attended Lamar High School and UT with Eric.

When Eric lived in Minneapolis, most of his coworkers and friends had no idea he suffered from an autoimmune disorder. Debra recalls an incident when Eric was rushed to the emergency room due to an infection. He stayed there for nearly 36 hours, so he asked his friend Anne if she could come by his apartment to feed his dog Callie, who he often called his best friend.

“That was the first time Anne even knew,” says Debra, who heard about this incident from Eric months after the fact. “You talk about cancer and other illnesses, but stomach issues and diarrhea, that’s not something that people can sit around and talk about easily.”

The Eric. M. Suhl Foundation has traditionally supported those impacted with colitis, both through the annual charity golf tournament and through an endowed scholarship at UT, targeted

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towards students who struggle with, or have family affected by, colitis, Crohn’s or other chronic medical issues. Recently, though, the foundation has supported mental health initiatives too.

In 2018, the foundation donated money to Touching the Heart, a wellness program where high school seniors, college and graduate students and young professionals can opt to receive biweekly text messages with tips for stress reduction.

“We started off reaching out to kids leaving to go to college; that’s where we really see the anxiety and other mood disorders take hold,” said licensed clinical social worker Laurie Silver, who leads Touching the Heart. The program is run by Jewish Family Service, where Laurie serves as manager for mental health programs.

“The idea is to create that connection and that resource as they leave to go to college.”

The idea for Touching the Heart stems from research by Thomas Joiner, a leading suicidologist who was hired by the defense department to test whether contact from an anonymous person can enhance well-being. He designed a digital program of sending anonymous text messages to those in the military, where rates of suicide are high. The program was shown to reduce rates of depression and lower risk of suicide.

Touching the Heart (continued on page 24)

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REMEMBERING ERIC At left, top: Eric Suhl shared a close relationship with his mom Debra. At left, bottom: Eric (second from left) enjoys a University of Texas football game with friends (from left) Eric Horvitz, Brett Luskey and Jeff Magids, all of whom are founding members of the Eric M. Suhl Foundation. At right: Eric (at left) grew up in Meyerland with parents Debra and Randy and brothers Kyle and Ryan. (continued from page 22) launched last year and has

expanded to include young professionals and high school seniors, in addition to students heading off to college. Those who sign up for the program receive a text message every other week from Laurie. The texts provide support during stressful times and offer tips for prioritizing one’s mental health.

“It sounds cheesy, but it helps you open up to someone who is not your family,” says Eugene.

When Debra heard about the program through an article in The Jewish Herald-Voice, she knew it was something she wanted the Eric M. Suhl Foundation to support.

“I think what Laurie is doing with Touching the Heart, it just opens a door to so many young people who may be going through what Eric went through,” Debra said. “I feel it’s so important to have someone out there to be able to open up to.

The fact that it’s not a good friend or family member I think is even better because it can be easier

to talk to someone you don’t know, and not face to face or by phone but by text.”

Recipients have the option of responding to the text, in which case Laurie immediately replies. If someone requests additional support, Laurie can provide help or connect them to mental health services at their college or university.

Last year, after the board of the Eric Suhl Foundation voted to support Touching the Heart, they donated $20,000 to the program.

This year, the foundation launched its first annual Bowl a Strike for Mental Health event in partnership with Jewish Family Service, which took place on Sept. 22. About 250 people attended, taking up 38 of the 39 bowling lanes at Bowlmor Lanes on Bunker Hill Road.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect the turnout to be as tremendous as it was,” said Debra, who attended along with her sons Kyle and Ryan and husband Randy. “I thought people would say ‘No, the football game is going to be on,’ or, ‘I’ve

got something else going on and I’ve already made the donation, it’s okay if I don’t go.”

During the event, the foundation committed to donating $45,000 to Touching the Heart, using both the funds procured through the bowling event plus a portion of the money raised earlier this year through the golf tournament.

“It’s been a work of love,” said Eugene, who helped organize the bowling event. “Working for a foundation to donate money in Eric’s name and to create this program that hopefully will help people struggling silently. You wish that maybe [Eric] had this text program, or someone who he could talk to privately. Maybe it would have made a difference.”

Editor’s note: To sign up for Touching the Heart, see the link at this story at thebuzzmagazines.com, or visit mentalhealthletstalk.org/touching-the-heart/.

If you have any questions, contact Laurie Silver at laurie@lauriemorgansilver.com or 713-542-5544.

Helplines Don’t be alone if you are having suicidal feelings.

• Crisis Intervention of Houston: A nonprofit organization dedicated to helping people in crisis through a 24-hour crisis line: 713-HOTLINE (468-5463) • 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Free, 24/7 confidential support for people in distress. 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) • Suicide prevention lifeline for the deaf or hard of hearing: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) Resources • For information on the common warning signs of suicide and ways to help destigmatize and prevent death by suicide, visit the National Institute of Mental Health’s website at https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml • Additional resources for survivors and friends and family can be found at speakingofsuicide.com.

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FOOD

by Pooja Salhotra, staff writer

Thanksgiving Traditions Immigrant families blend cuisines works. Puja and her husband, Sanjay Bhatia, were married over Thanksgiving weekend, so the evening turns into an anniversary celebration as well.

lawellphoto.com

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hen Puja Dutta Bhatia immigrated from Bombay to Houston at age 25, her only glimpse into Thanksgiving had been through sitcoms like Friends. She’d never carved a Thanksgiving turkey, never entered a food-coma brought on by endless potatoes, stuffing and pie, nor had she known the annual end-of-November ritual that often ends in plopping on the couch with family to watch (American) football.

But 10 years after immigrating to the States as a graduate student, Puja’s first daughter, Samaira, was born in 2015, and Puja adopted Thanksgiving as her own, starting a tradition of hosting the dinner in her Bellaire home for her extended family in greater Houston.

“When I had [Samaira], I realized I wanted to do something as a tradition for my family,” Puja said. “So, I decided to do my own Indian version of Thanksgiving. Last year, my second baby Sanaya was only a few months old, and I still hosted it. It’s my joy.”

Puja’s dinner isn’t your typical Thanksgiving fare. Instead, she offers a parallel Indian dish for every traditional American Thanksgiving staple. Instead of turkey, for instance, Puja prepares a tandoori chicken, marinated in a paste of Indian masalas and stuffed with garlic and ginger. For the stuffing, Puja makes paneer bhurji, a popular Indian cottage-cheese dish that’s a favorite among many kids. Her Indian salad includes chopped up cucumbers and tomatoes tossed in cumin powder and masala. She makes one of two Indian green bean side dishes as well as pulao, a mildly spiced rice dish, and parathas, an Indian stuffed flatbread.

“All of this can be done the same day,” Puja says. “I do the prep work one day in advance but everything else the day of.”

Puja’s family members try to help her by bringing over a pie or other American desserts.

But, Puja says, those are often left untouched, because everyone opts for her pumpkin halwa, a dessert with grated pumpkin, ghee, cardamom, cashew nuts and milk.

After eating dinner around 4 p.m., the entire crew – about 16 of them – heads over to the Galleria area for the holiday lighting and fire-

M

aryann Lio Grahmann’s family similarly brings their cultural background to create a multicultural Thanksgiving INDIAN THANKSGIVING Top photo: Puja Dutta Bhatia hosts Thanksgiving at her dinner. Maryann’s Bellaire home, offering a parallel Indian dish for every American Thanksgiving staple.

She usually makes tandoori chicken instead of turkey. Bottom photo: For dessert, Puja mother, Maria Lio, makes pumpkin halwa using grated pumpkin, ghee, cardamom, cashew nuts and milk. was born and ly early and make all of the dishes.” After enjoyraised in Mexico City. She immigrated to the ing mole-topped turkey, tortillas, vegetables and States with her husband and two daughters in Mexican rice, everyone enjoys a healthy slice of 1987, settling in McAllen, Texas, a stone’s both pumpkin pie and Mexican flan. throw from the Mexican border.

Maryann’s kids love the tradition, especially Growing up, Maryann recalls crossing the her eldest son Mason who is always excited for U.S.-Mexico border frequently for meals or to Mexican food. “My kids kind of live in two visit extended family. But even when they worlds,” says Maryann. “Thanksgiving is cool remained in Texas, Maria found ways to bring a because it’s a blending of the two worlds.”

Mexican influence to American food, especially When her kids are older, Maryann wants to start during the holiday season. On Thanksgiving, hosting Thanksgiving at her own home. “I’d love Maria “will cook a turkey like everybody else, to continue the blending. I speak to all my kids in but instead of dressing it with gravy, she’ll make Spanish. I very much want them to be aware of a mole sauce,” Maryann says of her mom. “And their cultural background,” Maryann says. instead of rolls, we’ll have tortillas.”

Maria has continued this tradition, and every or the Gras family, Thanksgiving is an opporother year, Maryann and her family – husband tunity to get together with a group of about Kraig, 5-year-old son Mason and twins Michael 40-60 Argentinians for food, fútbol and friends. and Mari – drive from West U over to Maria’s “We usually do Thanksgiving lunch with all house for Thanksgiving dinner. Maria and her our Argentine family friends because in husband Robert recently moved from McAllen to Argentina, celebratory meals can last hours and Pearland to be closer to Maryann and her family. hours, so lunch bleeds into dinner,” says Nicole Maryann shows up at her parents’ house with Gras, whose parents Sonia and Richard are both her family about an hour before Thanksgiving Argentinian and live in Bellaire. dinner. By this time, Maria has already prepped The Gras family – including children Nicole, all of the dishes and is keeping them warm in the 27, Alexander, 29, Andre, 24, and Sean Paul, oven until the family arrives. “We might bring a 20 – hosts Thanksgiving every year, spending dish or two, but really it’s my mom,” Maryann the day before the big day (continued on page 28) says. “It’s a labor of love for her. She’ll get up real-

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FAMILY TRADITIONS At top, left: Maria Lio tops her Thanksgiving turkey with this mole sauce. At top, right: Daughter Maryann Lio Grahmann (at left) grew up celebrating Thanksgiving with Mexican dishes made by her mom Maria Lio (at right). The family continues that tradition with Maryann’s children. At bottom: The Gras family brings their Argentinean culture to the Thanksgiving meal they host every year. Pictured here at their 2015 celebration are (from left) Cecilia and Miguel Di Vincenzo, Rita and German Cura, Ana and Gustavo Scuseria, Graciela and Juan Mayorga, Sonia and Richard Gras, Yemi and Eduardo Beltramini, and Salome and Hector Gras. (continued from page 26) clearing out space in their

house to accommodate the large group of what Andre calls “people who over time we call cousins, but they aren’t really.”

The meal does include American dishes such as the Thanksgiving turkey, casseroles and yams with marshmallows, and the TV is often flipped to ESPN, as with millions of American families across the country. But the Gras family marries Argentinian culture with American tradition, always making Sonia’s homemade meat empanadas and welcoming different types of Argentinean desserts such as pasta flora, alfajores and panqueques de dulce de leche, from guests. Outside, many guests are playing soccer, the most popular sport in Argentina, even while American football is playing on the television.

In melding Argentinian culture with the American tradition of Thanksgiving, the Gras family has not lost sight of the meaning behind the national holiday. Before carving the turkey, everyone gathers around the table and takes turns saying thanks. “Since most of the people who come are Argentines who immigrated to the

States and their kids, our Thanksgiving is centered around being grateful for the opportunities we have been given in this country and being thankful for finding such a strong community of Argentines in Houston to help each other with the challenges that immigrants face,” says Nicole.

“At the end of the day, it’s a time to get together with family and friends and celebrate,” Andre adds.

W

hile families like Nicole’s, Maryann’s and Puja’s have integrated their traditional cuisines into Thanksgiving dinner, other immigrant families have developed a taste for American cooking. Tehmina Masud, an immigrant from Pakistan, spends Thanksgiving with a group of about six Pakistani families each year.

Each family prepares a dish – Tehmina is usually assigned the green beans – and goes over to one person’s house, usually Aliya and Ayub Hussain’s place in Memorial.

“We have the beans, potatoes, cranberry sauce, turkey, buns baked fresh, pudding – the menu is a complete Thanksgiving menu,” says Tehmina.

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The one non-traditional item on the menu is a Pakistani-style chicken that the host always makes just for Tehmina, who admits she’s not too fond of turkey. Aliya bakes the chicken with minced garlic, smoked paprika, olive oil and thyme.

“Everyone laughs because I’m a complete Pakistani food lover,” Tehmina says. “But my kids love the American Thanksgiving menu, I think because they have eaten Desi food every day of their lives.”

Tehmina says she does not know how to cook American food, so her three daughters usually help her out with the green beans, one daughter finding the recipe, one buying the ingredients and one helping her cook them. The joint cooking effort has become a family ritual, after the family runs the BakerRipley Turkey Trot near the Galleria on Thanksgiving morning.

Though this Thanksgiving tradition started more than a decade ago, Tehmina has not always celebrated the American holiday.

Tehmina moved to the United States with her husband Faisal, who was pursuing his residency at Johns Hopkins University at the time. When fall rolled around and peo- (continued on page 30)

Dr. Irfan Iftikhar

GIVING THANKS Tehmina Masud (fifth from left) celebrates Thanksgiving with Pakistani family friends in Houston, (from left) Farah Hashmi, Shenila Cochinwala, Madiha Faisal, Romana Bano Raheem, Sarah Zaidi, Huma Iftikhar, Aliya Hussain and Fauzia Zamir. (continued from page 28) ple started talking about

their Thanksgiving plans, Tehmina did not know what she was supposed to do.

“First, I didn’t know if it was religious or cultural,” Tehmina says. “I was a little protective.

If it was a religious thing, I wondered, should I be doing this? Is this a conflict with the religious practice I do?”

Tehmina practices Islam and later learned from two Christian friends that Thanksgiving is not tied to any particular religion. Still, it took her several years to develop a Thanksgiving tradition of her own. Before moving to Houston in 1997, Tehmina and her family lived in D.C. and Cleveland, where they would sometimes celebrate Thanksgiving with extended family, but not to the extent they do now.

In Houston, the Masuds gained a greater appreciation of Thanksgiving. When her daughters were students at Memorial Middle School, Tehmina attended the fall harvest festival, where a family would decorate their home with a Thanksgiving theme and invite families and students to visit for an open house.

“It was very educational for me,” Tehmina says. “I remember there was a turkey and pumpkins all over the house. I became fascinated by how enriched the culture was.”

Tehmina also appreciated the idea of sitting around the dinner table with friends to give thanks. Now, it’s a tradition for each person at Thanksgiving dinner to share what they are most thankful for from the previous year.

“Each religion has their own forms of expressing thanks,” Tehmina says. “Yet I feel that Thanksgiving really puts the reason to be thankful out in a beautiful way of sitting down at the table and talking about it. It’s not whether you’re a Muslim, or a Jew or a Christian, you’re just expressing thanks.”

Puja Dutta Bhatia’s Pumpkin Halwa 1 Tablespoon ghee or unsalted butter 2 cups grated pumpkin 2 Tablespoons milk

¼ cup, plus 4 Tablespoons sugar 1 ⁄8 teaspoon ground cardamom Melt the ghee or butter in a medium skillet over a medium heat. Add the grated pumpkin.

Cook for a few minutes, stirring now and then until it has softened. Don't rush this bit; you should see it change color.

Add the milk and stir it in so that it is absorbed. Then add the sugar and cardamom.

Stir in and cook for a few minutes until glossylooking but not wet. You can also make it more of a puree by adding a little more milk, covering and steaming a few minutes and then mashing before adding sugar etc. Serve it hot or chilled.

Sonia Gras’ Empanadas de Carne (meat empanadas) 2 Tablespoons oil 2 pounds white onion, finely chopped 2 pounds ground meat Salt and pepper to taste 1 cube beef bouillon 1 Tablespoon paprika 3 packages dough for turnover pastries 1 bunch green onion, finely chopped 2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped Heat oil in skillet, add white onions and cook at medium temperature until onions are translucent. Add ground meat and cook. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Then dissolve a cube of beef bouillon in ½ cup of boiling water and add paprika. Mix well with meat and onion. Let the preparation chill in the refrigerator.

When the meat mix is chilled, put some on a center of a disc of dough and add 1 teaspoon of chopped green onion and boiled eggs. Close the dough. In Argentina, this process is called “repulgo” or “repulgue,” but you can close by using a fork to press. Preheat oven to 460 degrees. Spray oil on an oven pan and place empanadas on it. Bake until golden brown.

(The best dough to use to prepare empanadas in Houston is called La Saltena. You can find it

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at Fiesta or Phoenicia Specialty Foods. If you cannot find it, then use Goya.)

Maria Lio’s Mole Negro 2 small tomatoes 1 white onion, cut into thick slices 1 small garlic clove 1 jar Doña Maria mole paste (8.25 oz) 4-5 cups chicken broth ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon ¼ teaspoon ground anise seed Place the tomatoes, onion and garlic in a saucepan. Cover with water and turn heat to medium/high. Once it reaches a roiling boil, reduce heat and cook for 8 minutes, or until the tomatoes are cooked. Drain water and place tomatoes, onion and garlic into blender. Blend until you have a fine sauce; set aside.

Place a large frying pan over low-heat and add the jar of mole paste and a cup of the chicken broth. Start diluting the paste. Add one or more cup(s) of chicken broth along with the tomato sauce mixture, ground cinnamon and ground anise seed. Stir well until the mole paste dissolves completely. The sauce will thicken as it continues cooking, so add more broth as needed.

Traditional mole sauce has the consistency of thick gravy.

Aliya Hussain’s Paprika Chicken 1 whole chicken with skin 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 Tablespoon smoked paprika ½ Tablespoon hot paprika 1 Thyme twig 2 Tablespoons olive oil Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Mix oil with all spices (except thyme). Apply on chicken, including between skin and meat. Place thyme twig in chicken cavity. Bake for 30 minutes at 500 degrees. Lower oven to 350 degrees and continue to cook for another 30-45 minutes (until golden brown).

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Chris Oliver

NEIGHBORS

by Cheryl Ursin, staff writer

Kitchen Garden An edible little yard in the city

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reen beans. Sugar-snap peas. Tomatoes of all sizes and hues. Six different kinds of frilly lettuce leaves. Kale. Arugula.

Spinach. Okra. Depending on the season, carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beets and turnips grow underground, with cabbage, broccoli, peppers, eggplant, squash, cauliflower and cucumbers above. Strawberries are in one window box, blackberries in another. There are several types of melons, of herbs, of fruit trees (kumquat, peach, pear, fig, meyer lemon, satsuma orange, even dragon fruit).

Where are you?

In Memorial, in the heart of Houston.

In Jill Oliver’s yard.

In her kitchen garden, to be precise.

And Jill will often be out there, planting seeds, transplanting seedlings, weeding, pruning, watering, composting, harvesting. She trains tomato plants, cucumbers and pole beans to grow up trellises and her kumquat trees to grow as espaliers, flat against a wall. One hot September afternoon, she was shading seedlings from the sun, while hummingbirds flitted from feeder to feeder. Her dog Domino, “my constant companion,” she says, is intensely interested in all she’s doing. “When I pick green beans, if I eat one, he gets one,” she said.

Jill estimates she spends about a half hour per day, morning and evening, in her kitchen garden. “It’s truly like going on a mini-vacation for me,” she said. “I’m in my own world for a time.”

A kitchen garden, as its name implies, is a garden usually right outside a kitchen. It’s traditionally small. Jill’s beds, she estimates, total about 400 square feet. Kitchen gardeners plant small quantities of many kinds of fruits, vegetables and herbs and, unlike an old-fashioned vegetable garden, with its plain old rows, kitchen gardens (or potagers, in French) are meant to be beautiful.

This being the 21st century, Jill’s garden has its own Instagram page, oliver__garden__ (those are double underscores), with over 1,500 followers.

Jill started her garden six years ago, when she asked her father to build her a raised garden bed for her birthday. Six months later, he built her a second one for Christmas. Growing up in Brenham, she remembers her parents always

GREEN THUMB Jill Oliver in her garden with her Romaine and red fire lettuce.

having a kitchen garden. Her father also grew pecan trees and still keeps bees. As a child, when it was time to pick peaches or when she was told to go pick all the strawberries, “at the time, it seemed like such a chore,” she remembered with a laugh, “but if you told me to do that now, I’d be skipping with joy.”

Don’t let the small size of a kitchen garden fool you. “You can get a pound of okra from three to four plants, easy,” said Jill. “I get pounds and pounds of tomatoes, and I had a basil plant so large this year, I could have provided basil to the whole neighborhood.” Currently, Jill’s goal (“I’m dreaming big,” she said) is to grow enough lettuce to have salads every day for six months.

The garden determines, in part at least, what the Oliver family – Jill, husband Chris, sons Henry (a senior at Memorial) and Charlie (a sophomore at Memorial) and daughter Ivy (a sixth grader at Spring Branch) – eat for dinner, and Jill reports that they do eat more fruits and vegetables than they used to.

Yet, that isn’t the only reason Jill grows her garden.

“It may not put a huge dent in your grocery bill,” she said, “but there’s just so much satisfac-

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 32

tion in serving something for dinner that you grew yourself.”

You can start your kitchen garden as small as some herbs growing in terra cotta pots, Jill said.

Other easy plants to grow in containers are, she advises, peppers, tomatoes, lettuce, green beans and sugar-snap peas.

Jill’s garden now includes several raised garden beds, which are bottomless containers, hers made of either cedar or corten steel (weathered steel), set over gravel for drainage. Jill buys her soil. Although soil can be the biggest expense of a garden, she said, “investing in good soil is worth it. It’s everything.” Hers comes from a local company, Farm Dirt, that composts, using, in part, old, unsold produce it gets from Whole Foods, but she said there are many good local companies. Her garden is irrigated, using drip irrigation (basically hoses and tubes that run along the soil, outfitted with tiny emitters that allow water to ooze out). This is attached to her regular sprinkler system and is on a timer. “The garden is its own zone, so I can adjust it separately from the lawn,” she explained.

“There are so many lessons, about nature and patience and life, here,” she (continued on page 34)

Jill Oliver Jill Oliver

Jill Oliver Jill Oliver

GARDEN PARTY Top, left photo: An early-morning shot of two of Jill Oliver's main beds with her garden's new party lights. Top, right photo: Some of her homegrown, organic harvest. Bottom, left photo: Some of Jill's Juliet tomatoes in varying stages of ripeness. Bottom, right photo: Jill likes to collect antique metal signs.

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 33

Ivy Oliver

Jill Oliver Jill Oliver

NOT-SO-SECRET GARDEN Top left photo: Jill Oliver's family and friends, including her dog Domino, here near the sweet potatoes, know where to find her. Right photo: Jill came back from a July weekend away to 14 pounds of produce. Bottom left photo: One of her favorite signs, "This is my happy place," decorates a bed of newly planted spinach and lettuce. The metal grid in the background is livestock panel, a type of fencing used for cattle and pigs, which Jill uses for trellises. (continued from page 32) said, pointing out that, to

germinate, to live, seeds have to be completely covered in dirt, in total darkness, and struggle toward the sun. Also, she pointed out that garden pests, which attack the weakest plants, are simply the start of the natural process of decom-

position.

“A gardener is always exploring, always trying new things,” she said. “If something doesn’t make it, you plant it again. You plant seeds, knowing some will grow and some will not. The garden parallels life in a million ways.”

MORE ONLINE Search "A Quick Appearance: Dragon Fruit Blossoms" by Andria Frankfort at thebuzzmagazines.com for more on Jill Oliver’s dragon fruit, which blooms just once a year.

To learn more Here are some resources Jill Oliver recommends if you want to learn more about growing a kitchen garden.

Film: The Biggest Little Farm, a 2018 award-winning documentary.

Books: All New Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew: “This is the first gardening book I ever read, and it’s a classic and wonderful,” said Jill.

Four-Season Harvest by Eliot Coleman Epic Tomatoes by Craig LeHoullier Texas Gardener’s Handbook, Dan Gill and Dale Groom Texas Organic Vegetable Gardening by J. Howard Garrett and C. Malcolm Beck The Vegetable Gardener’s Bible by Edward Smith Complete Guide to Texas Gardening by Neil Sperry Instagram accounts: Jill’s own: @oliver__garden__ Nicole Burke (Jill’s friend and now employer): @gardenaryco; Nicole Burke started two companies helping people grow their kitchen gardens and has a book coming out this spring.

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 34

Kevin Espiritu: @epicgardening; he also wrote a book, Field Guide to Urban Gardening Joe Lamp’l: @joegardener; he’s won an Emmy for his PBS series, Growing a Greener World, and has also written several books, including Green Gardener’s Guide. @deannacat3; DeannaCat does grow her own cannabis, in case that might put some off, Jill warns, but she’s “super-inspirational” and “aaaahmazing.”

And four Instagrammers from Houston: Mary Margaret Surdo: @fun_in_the_garden @frugalgardening @jessicafishes Megan Frankum: @pickler.girl Website: Texas A&M AgriLife Extension; “Awesome articles,” says Jill, an A&M alum.

YouTube channels: Roots and Refuge Farm MI Gardener Self Sufficient Me

Silhouette

®

Window Shadings

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TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 36

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 37

NEIGHBORS

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by Sharon Albert Brier, staff writer

Rumor Has It Surprise! Henry Richardson didn’t suspect a thing. His partner, Monsour Taghdisi, told him they would go for an intimate dinner and just make a stop on the way, but to come in with him. It was Henry’s 40th birthday, and they celebrated with 100 friends and coworkers. Most of the people Henry knows are usually seen in sport clothes but were still recognizable in party clothes. The celebration was held at the chic and furnished living room of Life HTX, with two buffets and an acrylic wall of desserts. A few of the many cheering for Henry were Alison Brookby, Leslie Nelson, Haley Green, Nathalie Buck, Erin and James Stewart, Sharon Rice and Jennifer Harkins.

Birthday club. Seven gals gathered at Mastro’s to celebrate Mandana Gholamhosseini’s birthday. They became friends at the Houstonian and liked each other so much they made a point to maintain their friendship in and out of the gym. The working ladies enjoy the diversity of the group, where some hail from Iran, Russian and Korea. It’s a good thing there is more to talk about than politics. The group included Lili Robin, Susan Kaplan Bruch, Mandana Gholamhosseini, Terri Alani, Teresa Reaves DePaula, Ellen Lim and Marilyn Smelcer.

Up a creek. Houstonians gathered at Vivie and Chris O’Sullivan’s home to celebrate the launch of Margaret Reckling’s coffee table book of nature, Woody Creek: Views From a Homestead.

Inspiration came from Margaret’s youth when she and her brothers went to the quaint area when they skied Aspen. A percentage of the proceeds from the book sales benefitted the Garden Club of Houston. Margaret, a Texas native, bought and restored the 1880s Colorado farmhouse, Elkhorn Ranch, in 2013. In the cocktail crowd were Cindy and Jim Thorp, Isla and TR Reckling, Janet Hobby, Anita Oshaughnessy, Cathy and Joe Cleary, Betsy Goodman, Carol Goodman, Grace Cartwright, Carla McMahon, Hallie Carver, Laura Mudd, Ethelyn Kuldell, Mike Weir, David Thomas, Eddy Allen, Dan Parsley, John Hastings, Elizabeth and Walter Cochran, Elizabeth and Adam Schiffer, Sallie Alcorn and Lynda Underwood.

A gab fest. It’s been an annual group that

BIRTHDAY CLUB Friends celebrate Mandana Gholamhosseini's birthday at Mastro’s. From left: Lili Robin, Susan Kaplan Bruch, Mandana Gholamhosseini, Terri Alani, Teresa Reaves DePaula, Ellen Lim, Marilyn Smelcer.

keeps expanding. Jeri Wolff and Linda Buchman hosted a Sweet New Year (Jewish New Year) party for 45 gal pals. There was a feast of honey-infused salmon and couscous and veggies with a variety of desserts, which included a honeybee hive-shaped cake with candied bees on top and “Have a Sweet New Year” inscribed around it. In the buzzing crowd were Kari Krause, Susan Weisselberg, Doreen Leibovitz, Tricia Rauch, Judy Kaplan and Lisa Hoffman.

Capital of gastronomy. I wouldn’t be lying if I told you that Lyon, France, was known for its food, in addition to natural beauty, surrounded by an abundance of natural ingredients that grow seasonally. And that is why Trevor Green and Haley Urquhart wanted to share the experience. And who doesn’t want to go to Paris, where they started their journey where they walked 20,000 steps a day? They scored a dinner reservation at a double Michelin star restaurant, La Mère Brazier, for an unforgettable dining experience. There were many ah-ha dishes that melted in their mouth, but the greatest of all was veal sweetbreads, Grenobloise style.

The night life. Three generations threw themselves into the vibrant and sizzling St.

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Tropez lifestyle for a week. Alex Watson, her mother Staci and grandmother Barbra Markman beached on the French Riviera, including St. Tropez, Cap d’Antibes and Monte Carlo, and loved the continual live music, dancing and champagne served with fire sparklers.

Just walking by L’ Opera, they saw an edgy, high-fashion cabaret show and extravagant entertainers dance atop dinner tables. They had a sighting of Gossip Girl’s Lily van der Woodsen, but they were the Texas Gossip Girls.

Don’t mess with the baby. Marlene and Brian Lord were amazed that the lions and leopards did not consider them prey, despite how close they were to them on their three-week vacation in South Africa, Zambia and Botswana. They sat with a cheetah and petted him; however, a mother rhino let them know that they were too close to her baby by showing her teeth. Marlene said the mom could have used some dental floss, but they didn’t think she wanted their advice.

MORE ONLINE See Rumor Has It at thebuzzmagazines.com for additional photos. Have some good news to share?

Email us at info@thebuzzmagazines.com.

KIDS

by Annie Blaylock McQueen, staff writer

Buzz Baby

Living near family

Buzz Baby is a column about life with little ones.

Writer Annie McQueen has three children age 5 and under.

P

eople say it takes a village to raise a child.

Meet the Jackson village – where 18 immediate family members live within several blocks of each other (some on the same block) in West University Place.

The crew includes four grown siblings, four spouses and eight cousins, ranging in age from 1 to 17, and one set of grandparents.

The oldest of the four grown siblings, Marina Christensen, along with her three younger brothers – Alex, Scott and George – are tackling the ups and downs of parenting alongside each other.

For the three Jackson brothers, “alongside” means literally – all three live on the same block of Tangley. Marina and her family are close by on Vanderbilt. Their parents, Gil and Katina Jackson, live in the siblings’ childhood home over on Nottingham.

Living close to each other was not a strategic plan from the start. Marina, her husband Alan and kids Katina, 17, Alexa, 14, and Andrew, 10, moved to West U first years ago, followed by all three brothers moving within several years of each other – mere houses away.

The first to arrive on Tangley Street were George and his wife Kristen about two years ago, followed by Alex and his wife Ginny about one year ago, and finally, Scott and Emily this past year.

Alex and Ginny have two sons, Hughes, 6, and Brooks, 4; Scott and Emily have 3-year-old twin boys, Ford and Davis, and George and Kristen have a 16-month-old daughter, Leighton.

Evenings on Tangley Street often are spent with Jackson cousins in bare feet in the grass in their front yards. The younger cousins blow bubbles together and push along scooters, while the older cousins hit golf balls and baseballs. Even their dogs, Archie, Ginger and Dolly, play together. Sometimes the older cousins from Vanderbilt Street come over to babysit and play, too.

All six of the Jackson parents living on Tangley have full-time jobs, on top of the demands of parenting, so they often lean on each other.

Already, living nearby has come in handy, when a nanny was sick, sports schedules were complicated, and anniversary and birthday celebrations needed celebrating. “If we get in a pinch, we can always count on my family for help,” said George.

“It’s also great being close so the cousins and adults can play.”

George said his childhood memories are coming full circle, with Leighton and her cousins. “I grew up riding my bike over the Tangley bridge, and now Leighton is making the same ALL TOGETHER NOW The Jackson/Christensen cousins, ages 1 to 17, all live within memories riding her a stone’s throw of each other. Bottom photo: Jackson brothers Alex (seated with wife wagon over the same Ginny, at left), Scott (right, with wife Emily), and George (standing, with wife Kristen) bridge while her all live close to each other on Tangley in West University. Their older sister, Marina Christensen, lives close with her family on Vanderbilt, and their parents, Gil and Katina cousins tag along on Jackson, live on Nottingham. their bikes,” he said.

“It’s an incredible blessing that we have sibKristen, a speech therapy manager, says, lings and the cousins have each other just sec“Instead of late-night runs to Walgreens, we just onds away to lean on and to spend so much time walk across the street to get cough medicine. together,” said Emily. Emily also grew up nearby, Missing ingredients for a recipe? Just go across playing sports in West University, so life is comthe street instead of to the store. Need a yard ing back full circle for her, too (her parents are tool? Go across the street.” not far – they’re over in Bellaire).

For the Jacksons, it is more than just childcare “We all have demanding jobs that force us to and playtime and medicine; it’s emotional suprely on help and each other from time to time,” port during some of life’s busiest years. “It is supsaid Emily, a banker. “Or when any of us just need port from our family through life’s ups and a minute to ourselves, the cousins are right there downs,” said George. to give us that time to tend to our personal needs.”

Ford and Davis sprint across the yards after It’s a constant give and take of extra hands, school, thriving in a world surrounded by their support and guidance through the years of raiscousins and extended family. They call their ing children – in the family village. cousins their “best friends.”

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lawellphoto.com

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TRAVEL

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by Tracy L. Barnett, staff writer

Travel Buzz

Taking Thanksgiving traditions on the road

S

ometimes “Over the River and Through the Woods” is over a border and along the beach. Sometimes Grandmother’s house happens to be in the desert. And sometimes the turkey is chicken fajitas. But just because their Thanksgivings don’t look like those in the picture books doesn’t make the tradition any less meaningful.

Mark and Tricia Rauch are turning the page on a Thanksgiving tradition in Rancho Mirage, Calif., with their extended family that saw them through half a century. And the ElizondoFrazier-Rainey family is now celebrating a third generation of Thanksgivings in Puerto Vallarta, on the Pacific coast of Mexico.

Together in California Mark and Tricia met when they were 13, and began dating when they were 18. Sometime in those years was when Mark’s family started going to the Palm Springs area. His mother was originally from Los Angeles, and some of the family still lived in that area; others lived in Houston.

“I think the children wanted to stay connected to the matriarchs and patriarchs of the family,” said Tricia. “If it makes them feel complete, that is what the family traditions are for. The only way you can maintain those ties is if you come together for those special occasions – and what brings people together more than eating, and wine?”

It started at the home of his grandmother, a tiny woman known as “Biggee,” who lived in Palm Springs. Mark’s parents, Lila and Gerald Rauch, soon bought a home in nearby Rancho Mirage to be close to her. A couple of other family matriarchs and patriarchs acquired homes in Rancho Mirage as well, and so that became the family gathering place.

“It was inspiring for my children, because they got to know their California family by staying with them over Thanksgiving,” she said. The families would usually stay a week, arriving on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and staying until the Tuesday afterwards. They’d help Grandmother Lila get the house ready and begin the preparatory cooking.

“Everyone in the family would contribute their specialty,” said Tricia. “I would do the table

HOME AT THE RANCH For 50 years, the Rauches and friends celebrated Thanksgiving together in Rancho Mirage, Calif. From left: Casey Millman, Danielle Rauch Millman, Tricia Rauch, Mark Rauch, Alissa Rauch.

decor and floral arrangements. My husband would do the turkeys. My uncle would make the chopped liver. My mother-in-law and sister-inlaw were the majordomos of the kitchen, overseeing the entire menu and meal – and when Costco came into vogue, we always bought the pumpkin and pecan pie there.”

Some favorite memories are from Lila and Gerald’s first Rancho Mirage house, where the kids would climb the grapefruit trees, feed the ducks on the nearby lake and play softball in the backyard. Later they moved, the kids grew up, and the number of grandkids grew, and the traditions shifted to golf and tennis and jockeying for the TV remote – it was always a contest to see whether UCLA, The University of Texas or some other team would be playing.

“But the real tradition was for everyone to get together and play Jenga,” Tricia recalls fondly.

“Really it was mainly the kids who were participating, and the seniors would stand back and watch.”

Another highlight was the rides on the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway—the world’s largest rotating tram car, which whisked the visitors

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 42

over 2½ miles along the cliffs of Chino Canyon to the rugged wilderness of the Mount San Jacinto State Park.

“You’d ride the tram to the top of the mountain and you’d need your coat because it’s snowing up there. Then at the bottom it would be 90 degrees,” recalled Tricia.

They also loved catching the Christmas light display at the Living Desert Zoo and Garden.

There was a mountain stream where they’d go for trout fishing. They would have a small family gathering at the Tamarisk Country Club for lunch, usually on the day before Thanksgiving.

And her personal favorite was going to the Cabazon Outlet Mall for Black Friday.

It was a little bit like a fairy tale, said Tricia – but all good things must eventually come to an end. “‘We don’t know if we’re lucky but we’re definitely blessed, and maybe we have a little bit of both.’ Mark’s aunt used to say that every year.”

One by one, the elders began to pass away; Mark’s father died about 10 years ago. Lila turned 93 last year and was ready to come back to Houston to be closer to (continued on page 44)

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 43

VALLARTA VACATIONS Beachside at the Sheraton Buganvilias in Puerto Vallarta right before 2017 Thanksgiving dinner in the Zona Romantica. Back row, from left: Christina Rainey, Paul Rainey, Candelario Elizondo, Terry Elizondo, Matthew Frazier, Henley Frazier, Mary Frazier. Front row, from left: Lauren Rainey, Ellie Frazier, Carter Rainey. (continued from page 42) her family here, and the

Rancho Mirage house was sold.

“It kind of pulled at all our heart strings,” said Tricia. Still, the memories are strong as they rally around their first family Thanksgiving in Houston, where they are now building a new tradition.

“It’s creation of the memories together that, whether you’re in California or New York, Boston or D.C. or Houston, you have that tie, and you will carry that for a lifetime,” she said.

A tropical Thanksgiving For River Oaks attorney Mary Frazier, Thanksgiving is a chance to take a break from the hectic lifestyle and kick back with family, who are now spread out from Portland, Oregon, to Cuernavaca, Mexico. Instead of shopping for a turkey and all the trimmings, she and husband Matthew, 6-year-old Ellie and 4-year-old Henley pack up their best beach gear and head south to Puerto Vallarta, where they’ve been spending Thanksgiving since Mary was about the age of her daughters. There they meet up with Mary’s parents, Terry and Candelario Elizondo, and her sister Christina Rainey, her husband Paul, and Lauren and Carter, 11 and 8.

These family trips formed the backdrop of the girls’ growing-up years, and now with Christina’s family in Portland and their parents’ move to Mexico, keeping these traditions are more important than ever.

“We stayed at the Camino Real, and I remember getting washed up on the beach various times,” Mary remembers with a laugh. “I’m glad I didn’t drown swimming at the pool.”

The Camino Real since became the all-inclusive Dreams resort, and the family decided to get a timeshare near the city’s historic Zona Romantica, far

from the hotel zone where most tourists hang out.

There they spend time relaxing on the beach, watching the kids, playing in the waves and catching up with each other’s lives. Like the Rauches, they usually spend a week – in their case, from Saturday to Saturday – but unlike them, they don’t spend days preparing a family feast.

“We usually have fajitas,” said Mary. For years the family staple was Fajita Republic, also in the Zona Romantica; these days, their Thanksgiving favorite is La Palapa, right on Los Muertos Beach.

Another of Mary’s favorites is El Barracuda, a seafood restaurant specializing in mercado-style cuisine right on Camarones Beach near downtown Puerto Vallarta, where they can take in spectacular sunsets over Banderas Bay. Every year, everybody brings their favorite restaurant suggestions for all seven nights, and the family has vigorous discussions and voting to decide where they will eat dinner. Recently they have been doing the PV Taco Tour, which visits six to eight interesting small spots.

Memories together in Puerto Vallarta are rich and varied; Mary and Matthew were engaged there one year over Christmas. And one of the favorite memories that they still laugh about dates back to Mary and sister Christina Rainey’s first solo trip to Vallarta as teenagers.

“My sister and I got lost in the mountains – we got on the wrong bus, and all of a sudden we were in the mountains and didn’t know what to do,” she recalls. They didn’t speak a lot of Spanish, but fortunately the bus driver understood the situation and flagged down a bus driver headed in the opposite direction to take them back to town.

They have already seen all the sights, so these days they don’t do a lot of tourism. The cousins

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play together, reacquainting themselves and deepening their connection to each other, to the Spanish language and to what has become, in more than 35 years, a sort of second country — especially now that their grandparents, Terry and Candelario, have moved to Cuernavaca.

Kids and parents alike play the traditional Mexican Lotería game with hotel pool staff and other visitors. The kids also paint ceramics with the women who bring them to the pool area.

To Mary, it’s important to be close to the city center as opposed to the hotel zone, so they can feel like they’re really in Mexico. Their timeshare is walking distance from downtown and the Malecon, the lively seafront boardwalk where people stroll and take in the waves, the public art, the performers and happenings of all sorts.

In their 35 years of travels to Puerto Vallarta, they’ve seen many changes, Mary says. The town has mushroomed in size, with the hotel zone growing exponentially. The city’s core, however, has managed to maintain its traditional Mexican essence. It’s one reason her family loves to go there, she says, as Puerto Vallarta is a real city of its own with a sizable Mexican population and its own coastal culture, as opposed to being principally a tourism hub like Cancun.

Her advice to others who might want to organize a holiday getaway in Puerto Vallarta: The hotels that are closer in to downtown may not be luxury five-star, but they’re nice and they’ll give you a sense of the real life of the city.

“Leave your hotel and really experience the Mexican part of Puerto Vallarta,” she said.

Editor’s note: Buzz travel columnist Tracy L. Barnett is a Lowell Thomas travel journalism award winner and longtime travel and environmental writer.

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 45

Photo courtesy of the Junior League of Houston

FOOD

by Katie Doyle, contributing writer

Cooking Buzz Everything but turkey Cooking Buzz is produced in partnership with the Junior League of Houston, a women’s charitable and education organization founded in 1925.

Y

ears ago, my aunt went rogue. She brought caramelized brussels sprouts to Thanksgiving. Yes, you read correctly.

Brussels sprouts. Not corn pudding, mashed potatoes or stuffing. Brussels sprouts. Once they were unveiled, there were a myriad of reactions: dramatic eye rolls from the matriarch, questions that included, “Is that a new spin on green bean casserole?” and pinched noses from the little people. My aunt was mortified, and the dish was not touched.

I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but I like brussels sprouts.

It’s been a few years, and our palates and plates are ready to be challenged. Our theme for this year: “Fall Flavors Take Center Stage.” We have created a menu that explores all the wonderful tastes of autumn while embracing new dishes for our dinner.

Our meal will start with the Corn, Red Pepper and Leek Soup from Stop and Smell the Rosemary, blended to perfection and served with a dash of cayenne pepper and dollop of crème fraîche. This first course will set the stage for the headliners of the show: Garlic Rosemary Cornish Game Hens and Herb Roasted Chicken, also from Stop and Smell the Rosemary.

Far from dry, this roasted duet will surely please all guests at the dinner table with their savory, rich flavors.

Enter the chorus. We know who the stars are at dinner, but everyone is really there for the sides. The Rice Pilaf from The Star of Texas Cookbook is always a crowd pleaser and will accompany the other cast members perfectly.

This specific recipe utilizes aromatic saffron and parmesan cheese. Chèvre Zucchini Gratin from Stop and Smell the Rosemary will dazzle the mac and cheese enthusiasts. Yes! It is possible to get that cheesy goodness and vegetables all in one dish! And then a surprise appearance from, you guessed it, brussels sprouts. In honor of my aunt, the trail blazer, we are going to have Brussels Sprouts with Prosciutto from Peace Meals. The

FALL FLAVORS This Corn, Red Pepper and Leek Soup from Stop and Smell the Rosemary sets the stage for Thanksgiving’s main courses.

crispy prosciutto and creamy sauce will convert any green bean devotee. We can’t wait to see my aunt’s reaction when this dish is revealed!

Every performance needs an encore, and ours will come in the form of sweet treats. Around the fire pit, we are going to sip on the White Hot Chocolate from Peace Meals and indulge in Praline Pumpkin Pie from Stop and Smell the Rosemary. We just couldn’t say no to pumpkin.

We do live in a pumpkin spice world, after all.

As you are planning your Thanksgiving event this year, explore a few new options to keep the audience guessing.

Corn, Red Pepper and Leek Soup From Stop and Smell the Rosemary 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter 3 Tablespoons vegetable oil 2 medium leeks, white part only, coarsely chopped 1 large red bell pepper, seeded and coarsely chopped Kernels of 5 ears corn (reserving ¼ cup) 6 cups chicken stock ½ cup heavy whipping cream ½ teaspoon salt 1 ⁄8 teaspoon white pepper Pinch of cayenne pepper 2 Tablespoons minced fresh parsley Red bell pepper, chopped Crème fraîche Heat butter and oil in a large saucepan. Add leeks and sauté 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add bell pepper and sauté until slightly soft, about 5 minutes. Add corn and sauté 3 minutes.

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 46

Add stock and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered 30 minutes. Transfer soup in batches to a blender or food processor. Process until smooth. Return to saucepan under low heat. Stir in cream, salt, pepper and cayenne.

Adjust seasonings.

Place ¼ cup corn in a strainer and submerge in boiling water 2 minutes. Drain. Ladle soup into individual bowls and top with corn, parsley, bell pepper and a dollop of crème fraîche. Serves 6 to 8.

Garlic Rosemary Cornish Game Hens From Stop and Smell the Rosemary 6 fresh Cornish game hens 2 Tablespoons minced garlic 2 Tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary ½ teaspoon freshly ground pepper ¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper ½ teaspoon salt Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Trim hens of any visible fat. Rinse and pat dry. Combine garlic, rosemary, black pepper, red pepper and salt.

Rub mixture over and under skin of each hen.

Rub any excess seasonings into cavities. Close each cavity with a 6-inch bamboo skewer or cooking twine. Place hens in single layer on a rack in a large roasting pan. Roast 15 minutes.

Lower temperature to 350 degrees. Roast 35 minutes longer, or until juices run clear when inner thigh is pierced. Serves 6.

MORE ONLINE See thebuzzmagazines.com for more recipes.

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Caroline Fontenot

DINING

by Dai Huynh, staff writer

Chef’s Corner

Jonny Rhodes

Find out about your favorite chefs in our Chef’s Corner column. This month, restaurant writer Dai Huynh interviews chef Jonny Rhodes.

I

t’s noon, six hours before the 13-seat Restaurant Indigo opens for dinner. There’s still much to do: meat to smoke, vegetables to pickle and sauces to simmer. The wood fire blazes, and smoke wafts past sliding bookcase panels that reveal a closet-sized kitchen.

Food is either prepared on a charcoal grill, induction cooktop or wood smoker. Writers have called Indigo avant-garde and ambitious for cooking without a gas oven or stove. But like many things at this “neo-soul” food incubator, this arose from necessity.

Jonny and Chana Rhodes couldn’t afford to pay $10,000 to restore the gas line. The chef and his sommelier wife used nearly all their savings to open their brick-and-mortar space. But it wasn’t enough. Jonny’s former Marine buddies had to pitch in – financially and physically – to help with the buildout. Opening at 517 Berry in Lindale Park was a gamble. The historic neighborhood three miles north of downtown is known for its active civic club, a taqueria and bakery on this and that corner, but a fine-dining restaurant?

No way. But Jonny grew up here and had a conviction that diners would come, and it was the right setting for a compelling food narrative.

During the $79-125, five-course, prix-fixe menu, it is common for the University of Houston graduate to step into his sold-out dining room to give an oral history of age-old (often forgotten) cooking techniques and put into context dishes shaped or inspired by slavery, black culture, inequality and oppression. Some diners have found the experience hard to swallow. But many have praised it as being lyrical and thought provoking. And in less than 12 months, Indigo has garnered accolades from Food & Wine, GQ and Texas Monthly. The James Beard Foundation marked Jonny Rhodes as someone to watch and nominated the 29 year old for its Rising Star Chef award. Recently, Time magazine included Restaurant Indigo among its “World’s Greatest Places” to experience.

Here, the Houston native discusses the chal-

lenges in creating one of the most unique dining experiences in Texas, and perhaps even beyond state lines.

As a boy, jumping on and off moving trains chugging along in your neighborhood, you dreamed of going into professional sports.

Instead, you joined the Marines after graduating from high school. When did you consider cooking as a career?

Me and my boys were training in the Mojave Desert, and I got “volunCHEF JONNY RHODES Jonny Rhodes’ 13-seat restaurant, Indigo, has garnered told.” When you’re national accolades plus a James Beard Foundation’s nomination for a Rising Star voluntold, they’re Chef award. asking, but really, story behind them. For example, If Earth Could you’re being told what to do. So, I was voluntold Talk is a warming, lush, savory Carolina Gold Rice to barbecue when we were out there. When we pudding, dotted with smoked leeks, crispy shallots got back home, we started grilling every weekand allium flowers. end at my house. That’s what got me more interMany slaves died working and building the ested in food. rice plantations in South Carolina, whose sucAfter getting a culinary degree from the Art cess was partly due to the knowledge these Institute of Houston, you worked for James Beard Africans brought from their homeland.

Award-winning chef Justin Yu at Oxheart, followed You’re working on a couple of new projects, by a stint at Danny Meyer’s legendary New York including a healthy fast-food concept and, down the restaurant, Gramercy Tavern. Then after a series road, a grocery store. But on rare days off, where of pop-up dinners, you decided to open Indigo. What do you like to dine? was opening week like?

We go to Chick-fil-A a lot. The kids like it The day we opened the restaurant, my wife there. Chana, what’s the Vietnamese place we and I had only $500, and rent was due very shortlike? Huynh (912 Saint Emanuel)? The duck ly. On the first day, we had no reservation. I was salad is amazing. We also like Crawfish extremely nervous. On the second day, we had Connection (3106 FM 1960, Humble) and six. The third day, 10. By Saturday, we were full.

Burns BBQ (8307 De Priest St.).

It just snowballed. We’re fully booked for months in advance now. It’s been a whirlwind ride.

Editor’s note: Buzz dining columnist Dai Huynh Some have declared your food a revelation, with is a James Beard food-journalism award winner and a dash of theatrics. Take the names of your dishes. longtime Houston-based restaurant writer.

They’re creative, almost whimsical, until you tell the

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SPORTS

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by Todd Freed, staff writer

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ehind a lineup loaded with major collegiate prospects, the Episcopal Knights emerged as one of the top high school volleyball programs in Texas. Deep into the season, the Knights owned a lofty 22-2 record, including several victories over large UIL 6A powerhouse programs. In fact, Episcopal finished third at the prestigious season-opening Adidas John Turner Volleyball Classic, which included most of the top-ranked volleyball programs across the state.

“We have a big and strong attacking lineup,” said head volleyball coach Amanda Watts. “I’ve coached a lot of talented teams and players over the years, but nothing that compares to this group.” The Knights powerhouse lineup includes five players who’ve committed to major Division 1 programs.

Senior outside hitter Trinity Watts, the daughter of Coach Watts, will play next at Liberty University. Junior twins Bria and Cimone Woodard have committed to Texas A&M, junior right-side hitter Sania Petties will play at Mississippi State, and sophomore middle blocker Morgan Perkins has committed to the University of Oklahoma.

In addition, Watts had high praise for several other players, including senior Brennan Howell, who’s been a standout starter since her freshman season, as well as junior setter Camille Hanna, who has also started since her freshman year. “Besides all this talent, what’s also really unique about our group is the team chemistry,” added Watts. “Even our practices are intense and competitive. They play against the top team in conference daily, and that’s each other. Every person on our 14-person roster truly contributes to our success.”

It’s the start of a new coaching era for the Memorial Mustangs volleyball program under the direction of Kaddie Platt, who fills the position left by the retirement of longtime Mustangs head coach Beth Gammill. Gammill taught and coached at Memorial for 38 years while securing over 500 victories during her illustrious tenure with the Mustangs.

“Coach Gammill left a great team here with a lot of experience, so it’s been a pretty smooth transition,” said Platt. For her part, Platt brings

REJECTION Juniors Sania Petties (#4) and Cimone Woodard (#9) are part of a powerful lineup for the Episcopal Knights volleyball team. The duo are among several Knights who’ve already committed to play collegiate volleyball.

extremely impressive coaching credentials to the high school level, having been the head volleyball coach at the University of Houston for the last seven years. Prior to that, Platt coached volleyball at HBU for 17 years.

Deep into this high school season, Memorial owned a 26-10 record with victories along the way over top tier Class 6A programs such as Cy Fair, Clear Springs and Katy. Leading the team in kills is junior outside hitter Lyla Traylor, with several other players making major contributions. Junior Kingsley Wallace, a 6’4” outside hitter, is a standout player who’s committed to West Point. In addition, Coach Platt lauded the play of senior middle blocker Brooke Duncan, junior outside hitter Lauren Elie, senior libero Abby Hwang and junior setter Logan LeRoux.

“Our whole team is a really positive group who work hard and want to be good.”

Deep into the season, the Bellaire Cardinals volleyball team was well on its way to a 20th straight trip to the post-season playoffs. In fact, the Mustangs hadn’t even dropped a single set while going undefeated through the first half of the district race. “I think coming off last year where we really didn’t play that well the kids were determined to not let that happen again,” said Cardinals head volleyball coach Ap Clarke.

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Clarke, who’s coached the Cardinals program for all 19 of its consecutive playoff appearances, also credits a tough non-district schedule for the team’s success. “We finished in the Gold Division of the big John Turner Classic in Pearland, and then competed well in the Clear Creek tournament and Kingwood Invitational. We beat some good teams, like Seven Lakes out of Katy, which was a great win for us. We also had nice wins over Stratford, Clear Brook and Fort Bend Austin. It really prepared us well for district.”

The Cardinals lineup includes a dynamic duo at the libero position in senior Emily Hawes and sophomore Nylah Raspberry. “Both are playing a huge row at that key spot,” said Clarke.

Clarke also credited the play of senior middle hitter Armyni Perales and junior outside hitter Clarke Adams. “Clarke is playing in all six rotations and is doing a lot of great things, and Armyni is hitting and blocking well. She’s a real spark for our team.”

Editor’s note: Todd Freed is the Emmy Awardwinning co-host and producer of the KUBE SportsZone, which airs Saturday and Sunday at 6 p.m. on Channel 57-KUBE. To submit high school sports news for possible inclusion in SportzBuzz, please email todd@thebuzzmagazines.com.

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SPORTS

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by Angie Frederickson, staff writer

SportzBuzz Jr. W

elcome to SportzBuzz Jr., a column spotlighting neighborhood athletes in elementary and middle school.

Angels in green The Spring Branch-Memorial Sports Association (SBMSA) Angels (top photo) are off to a strong start this season. The team is in the senior girls division, aimed at developing skills for playing in high school. Head coach Michael Monk has coached his daughter’s team for the past 7 years, and each year the Angels don the same lime green uniforms. Many of the girls have played on the team for several years, and the coaches love to watch their growth and development over the seasons. The Angels are (top row, from left) head coach Michael Monk, Hannah Schissler, Bella Carrabba, Kate Chandler, Connally Thielhorn, Nikki Zonneveld, Meg Butterfield, Margaret Cannon, Grace Smith, assistant coach Aaron Thielhorn, (bottom row, from left) Bonnie Jurado, Callie Hall, Sarai San Lucas, Sara Monk, Cate Thielhorn and Gannon Turner.

Undefeated at Baseball USA The 11U Drillers baseball team (middle photo) won the championship at the Global NIT tournament that featured 11 teams at Baseball USA. The Drillers were undefeated throughout the weekend tournament, winning all five of their games. After a difficult win in Game 4, they wrapped up the tournament with a 12-6 championship win over the Baysox team from Seabrook. The Drillers represent several schools, including Frostwood Elementary, Rummel Creek Elementary, Memorial Drive Elementary and Valley Oaks Elementary. Baseball tournament champs are (top row, from left) Ford Allen, Jackie Hope, Dillion Norris, Quinn Fitzpatrick, Logan Santos, (bottom row, from left) Hunter Edmonds, Ryan Lamon, Liam Shultz, Drake Johnson and Whit Patterson.

Off to a great start St. Francis Episcopal School’s Izzy Hendricks (bottom photo) runs down the field in a game against St. John’s School, played at the St. Francis South Campus Fields. The eighth grader is on the 7th/8th grade field hockey team, and is working hard with teammates to have a strong season.

Coached by Jeremy Cain, the Wolves are off to a great start with a 4-1-1record so far, scoring a total of 14 goals while allowing only four. Izzy’s teammates are Carter Bower, Madeline Johnson, Sofia Owen, Merritt Skubisz, Brin Ball, Aby Deverka, Lily Gay, Morgan Herod, Jessica Leach, Anne Lyons, Caroline Nelson, Madison Price, Libby Scholtes, Ainsley Snell, Emily Sweitzer, Abbie Wallace and Chloe Zagorski.

Editor’s note: Send your best high-resolution photos and behind-the-scenes stories about young local athletes, in both team and individual sports, to SportzBuzz, Jr. at info@thebuzzmagazines.com. Include all contact info, names, ages, grades and schools. Featured athletes must live in Buzz-circulation neighborhoods. Items will be published on a space-available basis.

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SHARING GEAR Jared Orkin, a senior at The Kinkaid School, created a nonprofit to collect and distribute sports equipment to kids in need.

KIDS

by Jared Orkin, age 17

Buzz Kidz A

Nonprofit scores a homerun

fter playing several sports, I wondered what it was like for kids who did not have the necessary equipment to participate in athletics. Fortunately, I kept the equipment I used over many years and stored it in my parents’ garage. This became the foundation for Jared’s Locker.

Jared’s Locker, LLC. is a non-profit company formed to collect, store and distribute new or gently used sports equipment to those who cannot afford it, providing opportunities for kids to achieve their potential. My earlier efforts produced 25 items, not as many as I anticipated. I had to think bigger. I approached The Houstonian Club with the idea for Jared’s Locker and asked The Houstonian to form a partnership and help me take this idea to the

next level. This partnership was overwhelmingly successful, and we collected over 550 items in just the last two weeks of August 2019.

The collected equipment was donated to Child Advocates, Children’s Assessment Center, Boys and Girls Country and The First Tee. Child Advocates helps abused or neglected children who have been placed in foster care.

The Children’s Assessment Center provides a safe environment for sexually abused children and their families. Boys and Girls Country is a home for children in crisis. Their mission is to raise the children to become self-sustaining and contributing adults. The First Tee is an international youth organization that provides learning facilities and educational programs that build character and promote healthy choices through

the game of golf.

By distributing equipment to those less fortunate, Jared’s Locker is helping children of all ages make the most of their childhood and set them on the right track for a happy and fulfilling life. Thank you very much to those who have helped Jared’s Locker keep the ball rolling!

Want to be a Buzz Kid? Email approximately 350 words, a high-resolution photo and caption to info@thebuzzmagazines.com. Or mail it to The Buzz Magazines, 5001 Bissonnet, Suite 100, Bellaire, Texas 77401.

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PETS

Neighborhood Tails

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Stella Artois, age 4, Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Briarcroft My name is Stella Artois, and this is my black Lab brother, Dos Equis, because he is the No. 2 dog. We have a pretty good life.

We wake up and bark for milk bones. We swim and practice retrieving and bark for milk bones. We eat our breakfast, and we bark for milk bones. And the rest of the day is napping until it is time for another milk bone. Our neighbors Tex and Butter come over to swim and get a milk bone too. You get the picture. We have various jobs around the house and backyard. Our favorite job is to make sure we take at least one sock from each bedroom and hide it in the backyard. It makes our mom so happy. But our main job is to chase all of the lizards and squirrels that run through our yard. It can be very frustrating and require a reward – a milk bone, of course.

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Statistics indicate that almost 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Even when you are lucky enough to find everlasting love with your partner, you will undoubtedly have a friend or family member experience the end of a marriage, making you uniquely positioned to assist him or her through the roller coaster process. First, be a good listener and let your friend talk it out, without the added stress of the attorneys’ hourly rate or judgment. They will most certainly be repetitive, angry, sad, panicked and confused, sometimes all at once. No matter how tempting it may be, do not join in on bashing the soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

The next day, your friend may be considering reconciliation! Help out with partner-like things: offer to run errands or carpool, bring over a meal, help him/her pack and move, babysit the kids, and keep inviting them out even if your invitations are declined. Filling in – or at least offering to – will help them remember that, even though they are losing their marriage, they still have support. Asking the person what he or she needs or wants can be helpful, but don’t always wait to be asked because it can be hard to ask for help.

In short, show up and keep showing up, not just as the house of cards falls.

Jeryl A. Golub is an attorney with Tindall England PC, a family-law firm specializing in divorce, child-custody modifications, grandparent access, paternity, adoption and premarital and postmarital agreements. Jeryl has been recognized as a Best Lawyers® for 2020 in the area of family law.

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In memoriam My father died recently. (distinctivelife.com/obituary/roy-hall/) The last six years of listening, doing, and finally, caregiving, taught me a few lessons worth sharing.

Grinders do better than gamblers. Daddy was an accountant, and worked for Shell 42 years. “Sounds boring,” said a skeptical descendant. “It was,” he replied.

He saved 20 percent of his income from day one. “Net or gross?” I asked. “Gross.”

Self-help can be a false economy. Daddy managed his own investments, and came to regret it. “I was too conservative.”

It’s never too late to learn. When Daddy retired and rolled his pension fund over, he hired his first financial advisor. At 88, he was still doing his taxes, but hired a CPA anyway, if only to spare me the eventual trouble.

When we all flooded in Harvey, he upgraded to a management agency and bill-pay from a local bank.

With powers of attorney, sometimes, less is more. When Daddy gave me his POA, I went maybe five years without using it on a financial account.

In the meantime, I acted as his secretary rather than agent, running around town and collecting forms and returning his signature, not mine, as he managed his own business. By the time it was truly my turn, each power of attorney had long since been accepted (thank you, Steve Adell, Fidelity, and Frost Bank) or a workaround substituted (e.g., joint ownership without right of survivorship at Bank of America).

Delegation can be a growth experience. For me and Daddy, it began with reviewing the mail together as I backed my way into a balance sheet and cash flow statement, one invoice and statement at a time. Daddy was legally

blind, couldn’t drive, and too deaf to use the phone. Reconciling his memories and my spreadsheets, he and I were equally delighted to discover his mental status was better than mine (okay, maybe I was more delighted than him). Never again will I assume an old body means an old brain.

Played right, medical directives enhance life, not shorten it. Daddy had to fight for a pacemaker. He got it, and promptly signed a DNR. Years later, after three hospitalizations in a month, he refused further IV antibiotics and blood transfusions, but got them anyway.

After that, he signed Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment, limiting hospitalization to comfort care. With excellent home health, he lived another 15 months.

Thanks for the enduring lessons, Daddy. Rest in peace.

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Daniel Ortiz

NEIGHBORS

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by Jordan Magaziner Steinfeld, staff writer

Buzz About Town Party at St. George Place

magical Arctic wonderland. Briargrove welcomed Justin Ritsema, pictured with the Yeti, as new vice principal this year.

Michelle Watson

Power of literacy

Spagh-yeti supper

Briargrove Elementary PTO held its annual book fair and spaghetti dinner. A blizzard of books blew into the library and with it came a Spagh-YETI dinner. This year was the school’s most successful fair ever. Chair Audrey Hollis, with co-chairs Laura Litton, Hannah Ray and Jessica Stargel, transformed the library into a

Women of distinction The Barbara Bush Houston Literacy Foundation will honor Betty Hrncir (pictured, reading to students) as the inaugural recipient of the Childhood Literacy Impact Award. Betty will be honored at the fifth annual Jungle Book Gala Nov. 8 at The Revaire chaired by Amy and Kyle McCully and Morgan Stautzenberger and Cameron Stubbs. Betty helped form and lead the Ladies for Literacy Guild, a volunteer auxiliary of the Barbara Bush Houston Literacy Foundation. Since its inception four years ago, the Ladies for Literacy Guild has become a thriving organization of more than 300 members. Thousands of children have received access to new literacy programs through the Curiosity Cruiser mobile library and books to build their own home library. In addition, Betty and her husband, John, have served as co-chairs of A Celebration of Reading for more than a decade, which has raised more than $2 million each year for the past five years.

Best cellars The annual T. J. Martell Foundation's Best Cellars Dinner, held at Hotel ZaZa Museum District, featured an exceptional array of food and wines. The evening raised a new record of

TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 60

Jacob Power

Approximately 50 St. George Place neighbors enjoyed bouncy castles and pizza at a neighborhood party for National Night Out. Constables, kids and the principals of neighborhood schools, St. George Elementary (Sean McClish) and the Mandarin Immersion Magnet School (Chung Ying), also joined to meet and greet. Pictured are Adriana Hasoon, Toby Munr and local police officers.

more than $258,000 for The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. Chair Franelle Rogers, with honorary chairs Carolyn Faulk, Cathy and David Herr, Jeanie and Jim Janke (pictured), and Dean Putterman, brought together some Houston’s best chefs, wine collectors and entertainment. Pat Green entertained the attendees. Emcee and auctioneer was Shawn Parr. Guests enjoyed an after-party performance by Rob Hatch and Justin Wilson.

Proceeds fund innovative cancer research.

A fashionable crowd of more than 250 supporters gathered at Tootsies to celebrate the announcement of ABC13’s 2020 Women of Distinction. Honorees were recognized for their outstanding volunteer and community accomplishments. Lesha Elsenbrook and Bobbie Nau, former Women of Distinction and chairs of the “Warm Friends On A Winter Night” event, where the Women of Distinction will be formally presented on Jan. 25, welcomed the crowd.

The gala benefits the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation.

Honorary chairs Sidney Faust and Cora Sue Mach joined to honor the women. ABC13 news anchor Melanie Lawson introduced the honorees: Cheryl Byington, Zane Carruth, (continued on page 62)

Chang, Elsie Eckert, Myrtle Jones, Brigitte Kalai, Kelley Lubanko, Joy McCormack, Hannah McNair and Mary Tere Perusquia, and Betty Hrncir, 2020 Ambassador. Pictured are Cal and Hanna McNair.

See crohnscolitisfoundation.org/winter-ball.

CatchLight Group

Spotlight on safety

Wilson Parrish Photography

(continued from page 60) Theresa

More than 370 supporters, community leaders and law enforcement personnel came together for the Crime Stoppers of Houston “Leading the Way to a Safer Houston” Gala at the Hyatt Regency Hotel downtown. The evening raised more than $433,000 to fund crime solving and prevention programs. It was chaired by Donae Chramosta, Maha Khan and Jerri Duddlesten Moore and supported by honorary chairs Brigitte Kalai and Sippi Khurana. Dave Ward’s opening remarks included a moment of silence in memory of Harris County Deputy Sandeep Dhaliwal. Emcee was Dominique Sachse, and speakers included Crime Stoppers CEO Rania Mankarious, youth ambassador Bella Chramosta and FBI profiler John Douglas. Douglas, known as the real “Mindhunter,” discussed his work studying mur-

ders and crime cases. Pictured are (from left) Megan Pond, Wendy Dawson, Elva Akin and Rina O'Malley. See thebuzzmagazines.com for more photos.

Reunion happy hour Alumni from the classes of 2001 through 2015 at St. John’s School, Episcopal High School and The Kinkaid School gathered at Armadillo Palace on Kirby Drive for a happy hour. Pictured are SJS alumni (from left) Catherine Cooke, Jeff Coburn, Patrick Ryan, Mark McDowell, Henry Waller, Peter Crain, Cameron Cuenod, Sage Klement, Emmie Proctor and Helen Crain.

Park previews Although Tropical Storm Imelda tried to crash the party, nearly 250 gathered for Memorial Park Conservancy’s State of the Park held at The Junior League of Houston. KPRC meteorologist

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Frank Billingsley was the emcee, sharing plenty of weather-related humor. Shellye Arnold, president and CEO of the Conservancy, spotlighted operational innovations and Master Plan projects to come. Guests viewed “behind the scenes” photographs of the Eastern Glades, opening in 2020.

Additionally, sneak previews of the Land Bridge and Prairie project, which will span Memorial Drive, were revealed. Centerpieces were potted plants from the Memorial Park Greenhouse, seeds from native plants grown in the park, and jars of soil sourced from the BioCycle operation. Pictured are (from left) Steve Jenkins, Cathy Wilde, Richard Hightower and Wesley Hightower. See memorialparkconservancy.org for park updates.

Circles of hope More than 350 mental health advocates attended re:MIND’s eighth annual Circles of Hope Luncheon. Formerly known (continued on page 64)

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Jenny Antill Photography

Luncheon, the event raised more than $364,000 in support of re:MIND’s mission to provide free and confidential mental health support groups for individuals living with, and family and friends affected by, depression and bipolar disorders. This year, re:MIND honored Franna and Ted Litton with the Gary Levering Mental Health Impact Award. The luncheon featured guest speaker and former Major League Baseball star Darryl Strawberry, who shared his story of triumph over addiction and mental illness. Pictured are (from left) Ted and Franna Litton, Darryl Strawberry and luncheon chairs April and Wells McGee.

Nikki Rosenberg

Like mother, like daughter

District. Dress for Success is one of the HJF community grant recipients and a site for HJF volunteers. See houstonjuniorforum.org.

Celebrating 50 years Houston Ballet’s 50th anniversary-season Opening Night Onstage Dinner, chaired by Jesse H. Jones II, marked the beginning of the ballet’s season. Guests joined honoree Lynn Wyatt for Stanton Welch’s Giselle before joining company dancers onstage for dinner. In 1967, Pepita’s Giselle was performed by a troupe of dancers in Houston. It was after this performWilson Parish

(continued from page 62) as the Help.Hope.Healing

The Houston Junior Forum will present the Conversations from the Heart “Wake Up in Paris” fundraiser brunch with Dress for Success Houston mother-daughter team Lauren Levicki Courville and Nancy Levicki in conversation with Ernie Manouse of Manor of Speaking (Downton Abbey discussion show). The fundraiser will be held Jan. 17 at Hotel Zaza Museum TANGLEWOOD/RIVER OAKS BUZZ NOVEMBER 2019 64

ance that the city decided to support a company of its own. Nearly 200 dinner attendees applauded during the stage reveal, as scenes from Giselle were staged to invite guests to an intimate dining experience. This year’s event raised a recordsetting $230,000-plus for Houston Ballet.

Pictured are Jim Nelson, Jesse H. Jones II, Lynn Wyatt and Stanton Welch AM. Be seen in Buzz About Town. Send your high-res photos and community news to info@thebuzzmagazines.com.

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NEIGHBORS

by Andria Frankfort, staff writer

Back Porch I

Navigating a changing world

can’t get on Facebook because I don’t want my grandmother stalking me.”

That’s the reason one 30-something woman gave recently for declining to join a private Facebook group composed of colleagues from around the country. That seems odd: Weren’t social media and all things high-tech interesting only to the younger generations?

The answer is no. Some 67 percent of people aged 65 and older are online, and 81 percent of that group (in households making $75,000 or more) own smartphones. How is this possible when 65 years ago you didn’t even have your own telephone line, much less your own tiny, portable phone?

“Not only weren’t there cell phones,” remembers my mom, Phyllis Milstein, “but when we were small there were party lines. You’d pick up the phone to make a call, and someone else might be talking on the line, so you’d have to wait until the line was free.” The phones she was talking about were plugged into walls, their receivers tethered with cords. “And,” she says, “we used phones that dialed!”

The changes in technology that my mom’s generation have seen over the course of their lives is nothing short of astounding. If my generation think that getting used to cellphones (remember the giant boxes we plugged into the car cigarette lighter?) and smartphones and social media has been a steep learning curve, we’ve got nothing on hers.

“We were the first family in our neighborhood to have a TV,” she says.

“And now with streaming, TV is going away,” my dad, Bernie Milstein, chimes in.

“Everyone came to our house to watch Milton Berle and The Ed Sullivan Show,” Mom says. “When I came home from school every afternoon, we watched American Bandstand. My daddy got a screen that was supposed to make our picture color, but all it did was make red and green and blue streaks.”

Now, my mom is on Facebook connecting with friends and family across the country, all in vivid color, on a screen that fits cordlessly into her purse.

Advances in technology have permeated every aspect of our lives. Lee Mountain, author

of over 100 books and professor of reading and language arts education at the University of Houston, says, “I fondly remember my typewriter. It was a clanky old thing that I wish I still had.” Even still, Lee made the transition to computers gracefully.

“It was gradual,” she says. “At first, I would draft something on paper. Then I would take the paper and carry it to the computer, and then I would sit at the computer and either type what I had written or use that as a step in a revision.” Before that, though, Lee remembers another change: electric typewriters. “I was fascinated and delighted to TIMES ARE CHANGING From cell phones to movie prices, computers to the be able to correct internet, changes in the past century have transformed the way we live our lives. myself,” she says. “I board,” she says, “and that enables us to think can’t tell you the number of years of white out from a broader and more global perspective.” and tearing up the page and starting over. It Technology is big, but it’s not the only thing became so much more pleasant and easy.” that’s changed. Harry Rosenthal, a pediatrician, At 88, Lee is a full-time professor at UH. She’s remembers going to the movies for nine cents. even offering some of her courses online, proNo, that’s not a typo: He doesn’t remember nine gressing along with the school. “I was a teacher dollars (although many of us do), he remembers and writer all my life,” she says, “and I really like nine pennies. “Not only that,” he says, “we were the face-to-face classroom. After lots of years of 12 years old, and we’d take the bus from the textbooks behind me and comfort with knowing Heights, where we lived, all the way downtown what I was doing, I had to put my coursework in to the movie. And I bet we didn’t spend more a different format. It was a hard transition, but it than 50 cents total.” worked! That’s a very exciting moment.”

Not only can’t today’s 12 year olds go to the Maryann Tebbe recently co-founded the movies for less than 25 dollars, but many of us Community for Conscious Aging, a group prowon’t let them go to the theater alone, much viding programs that encourage people to age less ride a bus across the city to get there – with with vitality, purpose and meaning no parents supervising. (communityforconsciousaging.org). Maryann Which puts the kids back at home, connectsays the connectedness of the world is a huge ing virtually to each other and the world on change. “We now have the ability to experitheir tiny screens. ence things at the tips of our fingers via a key-

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