Exclusive Interview with Guest Editor-in-Chief DR. BARBARA NEELY D

r. Barbara Neely is the CEO of Mamas Brown Sugar and a Board-Certified Esthetician. Barbara is passionate about helping other women rise from the ashes of life and helping them discover their God-given talents. She is a two-time Best-Selling author of books, “Finding Joy in The Journey and Joy Comes in The Morning.” Dr. Barbara is an Ambassador for Black Family Magazine and has a show on Rethink Network titled “Reignite with Dr. Barb.”

Dr. Neely has lived and served alongside her ex-husband as a military spouse for 19 years and understands the challenges and what it takes to live as a military spouse. As an ambassador for the Black Family Magazine, Dr. Neely wanted to bring awareness to a few challenges in the military community that get overlooked. Dr. Neely knows first-hand about the struggles with finances, transitioning, depression, and the stress military life has on marriages.

Black Family Magazine: Dr. Barb, tell us a little about yourself and this special edition.

Dr. Barb Neely: It’s funny because if you had asked that question in the past, I would have said, I’m a military wife, mom, and business owner, and told you what I do. While those things were true, they are not who I am. I am a silly, fun-loving person that enjoys many things in life, such as hiking, plays, concerts, comedy, movies, traveling, and spending time with friends and family.

Black Family Magazine: What are some of the topics you will be highlighted in this special edition on military families, and why did you choose those topics?

Dr. Barb Neely: Military life is vast, with many layers to it. Many things are addressed that soldiers and spouses deal with in silence. I also want to say many great things about military life, so I hope to touch on a few of those things in this edition. Areas that I want to touch on are the mental state of the spouses, job security, financial struggles, transitioning, friendships and divorce. All these are things that need to be discussed in our community.

Black Family Magazine: Tell us about your business, how you got started and how it helps others.

Dr. Barb Neely: I am the CEO of Mamas Brown Sugar, an allnatural, raw, vegan-friendly skincare line. I had no plans to start a business or write books, but God had different plans. While sitting with my mom at the hospital while she was declining from dementia, God gave me a vision of a business named Mamas Brown Sugar and three books to write. Now I did not know what to do with Mama’s Brown Sugar, so upon moving from NC to TX, I started a dog treat business and failed miserably. I then thought it must mean that God wanted me to start a bakery since my mom, grandma and greatgrandmother were all madefrom-scratch cooks, but that wasn’t it either. It was until I started making bath and body items for friends as a hobby that I felt fulfilled. I started Mamas Brown Sugar in 2013 as a hobby, but people started buying and loving my products. I loved making women feel pampered and loved with products they could trust because they are made with raw and natural ingredients. My business has had its ups and downs, but I’m proud I did not give up. I have been growing in business and my brand and will continue. I have been a part of three book anthologies and have written and completed my first 90-day devotional for military spouses, but I have not published it yet.

Black Family Magazine: Let’s discuss the topics you cover in this special military family edition.

Dr. Barb Neely: First, I will touch on how transitioning from duty station to duty station every couple of years made it tough to build a career and stay at one job any length of time. It also made it hard to build experience because of the short length of time. Once they found out you were only going to be there a few years, many employers hesitated about hiring spouses. Next up, finances were a struggle for many families since the pay was based on rank. Many people do not realize that military families are eligible for food stamps and receive them. Some families get paid biweekly, and others monthly. I can remember when my ex-husband and I first got married, we did not have much money, and he had just gotten promoted to a specialist in the Army, which didn’t make a lot. I worked at a local bank, and we had one car because we couldn’t afford to buy another vehicle. Back then, seventy-five dollars was a lot to spend on food, and we would start discussing what to put back. Once my ex-husband applied to flight school, got accepted, and finished, things improved financially for us. I’m thankful we didn’t have our son until he was already an officer. It would have been more of a struggle with a baby.

Black Family Magazine: How did transitioning affect your family?

Dr. Barb Neely: There was excitement and anxiety over moving because I didn’t know what awaited us there. Transitioning to a new place meant I would have to quit once again a job that I enjoyed once, leave friends behind, and start again at the new duty station. The great thing about moving was that all spouses were in the same boat, so making friends was easy. Military kids get used to moving around, and they, too, make friends easily, but of course, it is still hard on them. We hate saying goodbyes, so we would say see you later or soon. factors for divorce are finances, blended families, growing apart, and raising special needs children. Many couples marry young and start families immediately, not giving themselves to get to know each other or have time together before adding a baby. Unchecked mental issues, depression, and PTSD also contribute to the break in marriages.

Black Family Magazine: Final topic you wanted to cover in this edition was divorce. Why?

Dr. Barb Neely: Divorce rates are extremely high amongst military families for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is the extended deployments that keep the soldiers and families apart for 12 months. During that time, holidays are missed, birthdays, births of their babies, anniversaries, and special milestones. These are all things that can’t be helped and come with the military and being a military spouse. It’s hard on the soldiers and the families. Because of the extended stays away from spouses with no intimacy, there is infidelity for some on both sides. Other contributing

Black Family Magazine: As we wrap this interview up, what advice would you give to newly married spouses?

Dr. Barb Neely: Always make time for each other and dates. Keep others out of your marriage, and don’t share with everyone about your marital problems. I would also add to doing things you enjoy and making time for yourself, even if just an hour a day, to feel safe when the soldiers are deployed. Take care of your family but keep yourself in the process of doing so.

Black Family Magazine: Thank you, Dr. Barb, for sitting down to shed light on military issues not shared within our community.