The Beast - September 2020

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Containing the Second Wave Words James Hutton, Publisher Welcome to the September 2020 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s beaches of the east. There’s still a lot of uncertainty surrounding this bloody pandemic, but so far it seems we’ve managed to contain the second wave and avoid a Victorian-style debacle.

Bondi’s Martine Emdur is the creative genius behind this month’s cover. Her beautiful painting features surfers at Bronte Beach, very timely given the cultural significance of the surfing community and their fight to protect the beach from overdevelopment. Martine appeared on the cover of The Beast back in July 2017 and has recently opened Twenty Twenty Six Gallery in Bondi, in the old kosher butchery at 17 O’Brien

4 The Beast September 2020

Street. She has some very cool plans for this awesome space.

We’ve packed quite a few news articles into this edition.

It’s nice to see positive things starting to happen again so we’re trying to cover as many of them as possible. As soon as advertising picks up a bit we’ll be including a lot more, seeing as no one else is producing local news content at the moment.

It’s been a challenging year for The Beast, as it has been for so many local businesses, and we appreciate our community’s continued support.

Independent community news is an important part of any local area’s fabric and we hope to be delivering it in this format for a long time to come.

Cheers, James

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,500 are placed in mailboxes and 4,500 in local shops.

PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests.

Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.

CONTENTS

S e p te m b e r 2 0 2 0 Iss u e 1 88 4 5 6 8 16 29 30

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local News Thumbs Local Artist

Evening relax, by Jana Minarikovรก.

32 34 35 36 40 42 43

Unreliable Guide Tide Chart Sporting Life Satire Marj's Musings Headnoise Business Guide

44 45 46 48 49 50 50

Food Review Dana's Recipe Local Photos Album Reviews Brainteasers Beardy from Hell Solutions

Spock for PM.

The Needs of the Many vs the Needs of the Few Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Leonard Nimoy In my capacity as COVID-19 ambassador to the prime minister, I had promised in this month’s column to provide my faithful followers with “Pearl’s Guide to Pedestrianism During the COVID”. Alas, I am sorry to disappoint those who require Pearl’s guidance in negotiating the unwritten rule of keeping to the left on the footpath, but with a rapid increase in the number of active virus cases Pearl felt an urgent need to address the issue of toilet paper hoarding before it again takes hold like a violent bout of gastric.

I can appreciate that a second wave will not feel ‘real’ until it hits the Eastern Suburbs, and that most of you are probably thinking, “Where the hell is Casula and Merrylands?” (even 6 The Beast September 2020

the hosts of Sunrise, renowned for whipping up mass hysteria, could not be bothered to pronounce ‘Casula’ correctly) but if the toilet paper depleted shelves of Western Suburbs supermarkets are anything to go by, it is time for a taste of Ambassador Pearl’s tough love.

I was tempted to begin my rant by asking what type of sicko hoards toilet paper but, somewhat ironically, hating on hoarders is not socially acceptable. Even the reliable Fairfax press has turned to the dark side, supporting the illogical behaviour with columns such as, “The Toilet Paper Hoarders Turned Out to be Right,” and “Confessions of a Toilet Paper Hoarder” - very disappointing indeed.

Pearl, apparently, should be putting away her big broomstick and instead delving into the psychology of the hoarders’ actions, as it all comes down to ‘personality type’. According to studies, toilet roll hoarders are conscientious people, diligent and organised perfectionists who overprepare for difficult situations in life, craving reassurance that their needs will be catered to in a time of crisis - all traits very familiar in the highly competitive Eastern Suburbs, and certainly not ones I would apply to the toilet paper fiends captured on video in Woolworths Chullora.

It is refreshing to see that these studies have been done now, because how the hell are these conscientious perfectionists going to behave when the real shit goes down?

But let’s be real, dear Beast readers; when did control issues become an excuse for bad behaviour? Hoarding is inexcusable, anti-social and unfortunately reflects the type of society our politicians have created. We like to think we are all in this together, but we are really only in it for ourselves.

Where is our concern for others? Vanished with the embers of the bushfires?

Running out of toilet paper is not life-threatening but catching the virus could be. Hoarders are not what society needs right now - a person who behaves so appallingly during a mini crisis will always behave that way.

Pearl is telling it like it is; hoarding is selfish and unethical and we, as members of the ‘village’, have an obligation to others.

To quote one of my favourite philosophers, Star Trek’s Spock, “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,” and logic, rather than conscientious perfectionism, is what we need right now.

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Wonderful People of the Eastern Suburbs TRAFFIC CHAOS OUT OF CONTROL It’s about time Waverley Council introduced a form of compensation for local residents suffering from the inconvenience of major development work in the municipality.

With the massive demand for the café strip in Macpherson Street the area has turned into a traffic nightmare in the mornings, and during peak hour cars are gridlocked up for almost a kilometre at times due to the major work being done at St Catherine’s School.

Massive trucks are continually trundling up from Darley Road and local motorists face major delays as their movements are stymied by traffic controllers giving these juggernauts right of way into the massive hole in the ground.

Why can’t the truck movements be restricted to after 9am and before 2.30pm to allow for uninterrupted school drop offs and pick ups and ease the regular bottleneck in morning peak hour?

Local streets are also suffering and residents without the luxury of off-street parking usually have to find a spot well away from their homes due to the influx of tradies working on private houses. It’s not the fault of the tradespeople as they are only doing their jobs and they need to access their equipment.

Council should look at the Development Applications and assess whether more than one development in the same area

8 The Beast September 2020

at the same time is feasible, and whether it will cause major problems to nearby residents. If it does, put one DA on hold until the first major work is done and then let the next one begin.

During this current COVID crisis more people are staying at home, and if they have to go out they should be able to return to within a reasonable distance of their residence without development taking precedence over local needs.

Duncan Bronte $324,000 - A LOT OF BEERS! We now know that Bronte SLSC has a small active membership and that there is significant community opposition to the expansion of its private clubhouse planned by its governing body.

That being so, our Council, before supporting any new plans, should read and then reread the realistic contributions to The Beast by “Concerned Narc” (Letters, The Beast, July 2020) and “Brian” (Letters, The Beast, August 2020). They highlight the disconnect between surf clubs as we have fondly known them and their grandiose and commercial future as promoted by those who now control some of them.

While the existing footprint would now seem to be Council’s intention for the community and private club facilities, the question arises as to whether the upstairs floor space, exclusive to the club, should be maintained or reduced. As is manifest, that area of the clubhouse is not often

utilised by or available to club members (except at a price) and is excessive to the needs and requirements of a surf club. Also, as the present building is adequate, any replacement should be no higher.

During its 2018/19 financial year this private club’s bar sales were remarkably about $324,000 and its income from hiring the clubhouse function room about $124,000. It received almost $83,000 for hiring out the kiosk, which sits on community land in a building paid for by the public.

Should the community fund the provision of facilities that have an obvious commercial purpose for the benefit of a private club?

Like “Brian” (Letters, The Beast, August 2020), I wonder what the club’s future role is meant to be.

Additionally, toilet and shower facilities exclusive to members are in the same building as, but separated by an internal wall from, those for the community.

I have yet to hear a contrary argument to the suggestion that the club and the community should share those amenities, thus avoiding the cost and space taken up by duplicating facilities which are side by side in the same building but with separate entrances.

It really boils down to the extent to which a private and members only club should be the recipient of community funds and be allowed to exclusively occupy parkland. In my view, both trespasses upon the public should be minimised.

Greg Maidment Bronte BRONTE SLSC DEVELOPMENT Dear Reader - As a six-year member of the Bronte Surf Life Saving Nippers Club and this year’s girl’s vice-captain, I have personally greatly benefited from this amazing community-focused club. No matter what you believe about the Bronte Surf Life Saving Club, if you live in Bronte, you know how much the beach means to the community.

This is especially true for the

children and nippers like myself who use the beach, not only on Sundays but almost every day.

Whether for a surf, swim or run, the beach is a huge part of our lives. And if you agree that a huge number of the nearly 800 children that do nippers and rely on the beach to maintain a healthy lifestyle, then how is it that you say that we shouldn’t have the appropriate facilities? For you to expect that a club that has grown in size as much as Bronte, with limited funding and resources, with parents volunteering their time and effort so that children can learn healthy habits and proper lifesaving skills to protect our community, and not need something in return to continue is illogical. Instead, we are being cramped in a very small clubhouse, unable to hear over the voices of people filling the room that does not adequately meet the club’s needs. The 10 per cent increase of space in the renovations and a shifted bathroom would make a world of difference to the children who love Bronte.

As I am moving into under 14s I have seen hundreds of children move through Bronte nippers.

Since I have been with this club, I have witnessed fellow nippers in my age group that do things I wouldn’t have thought possible.

For example, last year Miki Bianchi assisted with an after-hours rescue at age 12. She could not have done that if she had not had the training of the Bronte SLSC. There are so many things that go on at Bronte that people don’t even realise. Yes, the new surf club will cost a considerable amount of money, but what a good way to assist in the livelihood of the people of our community, something that would indeed give back in a way we can only see in the skills and culture of the club.

Not allowing the development of the much-needed facilities for the hundreds of children that do or will do nippers is very short-sighted. Bronte nippers is a part of the community - my community, your community, our community - and our cul-

ture, and in order for the club to continue to thrive, we need these renovations and expansion of the clubhouse.

Ella Fitzpatrick Bronte READY AND WILLING I agree with Tina Harris (New Breed of Dog Owner, Letters, The Beast, August 2020) regarding the existence of considerably more dog droppings on our popular public pathways recently, particularly in the Randwick municipality. On many mornings the beach walks along Coogee through to Gordons Bay are full of little poops, which are sometimes difficult to avoid stepping on.

I have also noticed an increase in owners allowing their dogs to walk unleashed along these popular walkways, which naturally leads to no responsibility taken for cleaning up when a poop is dropped.

If Randwick Council doesn’t have the resources to take action against these ignorant dog owners, then as a regular walker I am willing to don a hat, wear a badge and book their arses - if Council empowers me!

Nos Maroubra SEARCHING FOR THE SOURCE Jonathan (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020) - I hear them too! And I can’t fall asleep sometimes as it can be quite loud. I looked for the source for weeks and gave up. I thought I was crazy so it is good to see that I am not the only one, though it does not help fixing the problem I guess. I just use earplugs, which are not always enough but it helps.

Take care, Val Coogee SIREN-LIKE BUZZ In response to Jonahan’s letter (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020), I too have noticed a new siren-like buzz since around May. I live next to the Prince of Wales Hospital

where there is a major building site on Botanty Street. I am guessing this construction site may be the source. Is it survey or radio communications? I intend to ask when I next walk by the building site.

Adel Watts Randwick NOISY Hi - I just wanted to say, regarding the strange noises and Jonathon’s letter (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020) that I hear it too! On Birrell Street, Bondi, and many people are saying the same on the Bondi Local Loop Facebook page.

Thanks!

Erin Bondi AMBIENT NOISE AT DAWN Hello Jonathan (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020) - We were interested in the information you shared with readers of The Beast regarding the strange noises.

We can’t help you solve the mystery of the strange noise but can assure you that we hear it too, and hear it frequently.

However, one gets used to it, and most of the time we just ignore it.

We moved back to the Randwick-Coogee area three years ago, having first lived here back in the seventies. During the forty years in-between we resided in Watsons Bay, Woollahra and also Annandale.

During our Watsons Bay years - our best (and longest) ones in Sydney - we used to hear an ambient noise at dawn. We lived on the top of the cliff on Old South Head Road. We were told it was tinnitus or imagination, but we eventually discovered that it came from fishing boats going out to sea, the noise coming from the tunnels under the cliff.

But back to the present... our son, who has never moved from this area since the seventies, claims that everybody is aware of the “white noise” in Coogee.

We have been wondering, as you have, whether it comes from the Optus tower. We happen to have

September 2020 The Beast 9

one on the top of our roof, and our flat is on the top level of the building. I can’t tell you when we became aware of the ambient noise, but it was well before G5 became an issue.

After reading your letter I did a couple of tests. I compared the sound in the flat and on the balcony (overlooking Coogee and the ocean). The noise was the same. I then walked to the post office on Perouse Road and could hear no difference in the noise on the road and in our building.

So, we are not any closer to an explanation. Thank you for raising the matter in The Beast.

With our best wishes, Ivan and Barbara Barko Randwick WE'RE NOT ALONE I too occasionally hear that high-pitched sound described

by Jonathan (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020) late at night around 10-11pm when all is quiet, depending on the wind direction. And I’ve heard it before May 1.

As I live just two blocks from The Spot and Prince of Wales Hospital, I’ve often thought it may be coming from the hospital, given all the electronic equipment they have, so Jonathan is not alone in hearing strange noises!

Helen Randwick THE MUSIC NEVER STOPS In response to Jonathan from Randwick (Strange Noises, Letters, The Beast, August 2020), I live in Bronte, and for the last at least three or four years have been submitted to the noise described by him.

It is a sort of humming/droning sound that just goes on and on during the night. I am a light sleeper who also suffers from insomnia, and that ‘music’ that never stops is extremely frustrating; you can not get away from it. I too would very much like to know what causes it and if it can be stopped.

Luce Bronte

10 The Beast September 2020

THE LAZY FOX Hi guys - The strangest thing happened today, it was almost 10.30am and the electrician doing work at my house called out to me to come and see what was hanging out around the pool - a good sized fox! He’d been drinking from the pool and had managed to jump over the glass fence to get in.

Once he realised he was being watched, he casually made his way to the fence and made a few attempts to leap up and jump the glass fence again. Ironically, my sons name is Fox, so he was pretty chuffed to spot one lurking around the house! I’ve got a few good photos if you’re keen to see them.

Cheers, Jade Tamarama

BRONTE FAREWELL Dear Beast - Over the past few years I have been part of a crew working around some of Waverley’s reserves and bushland remnants, including Bronte Gully, the Cutting, the boardwalk, and Hugh Bamford Reserve. This work has now ended, and I just wanted to say goodbye, and to mention some of the people who have made the work more interesting.

First, hats off to the youngsters around Bronte Gully. The little primary school kids who love nothing better than to come straight from school to our recently terraced and planted slope, which they run up and down, gleefully trampling the seedlings. Their obviously libertarian parents do nothing, but why would they - they weren't watching anyway.

And the bigger kids are well on their way to being just as community-minded as their parents.

There is something to admire in these industrious teens - they are not like their parents in one way, that is they openly and actively destroy the environment, rather than doing so covertly by way of voting and purchasing decisions.

As soon as we plant some native shrubs, they come and rip them out or trample them. And they go further, ripping out the sleepers holding the sandy slope in place. Kids represent the future, and the future looks damaged, eroded and very weedy. And rubbishy. Question: has a kid ever put their used bong in the bin?

Of course we blame kids for everything, however it was an adult from Hewlett Street who chopped down the trees in Bronte Gully between him and an uninterrupted view of the beach.

This anti-environment crusader makes a valid point: there is no use being entitled if you don't put that entitlement into action.

Let’s have a vote. What is more important: the community, or being entitled? By the way, another question: why couldn't a tree be part of the view?

Special mention to the dog owners. Like the bloke at Calga Reserve who takes his dog for an early morning ‘walk’ into the bushland where we have to work. Onya mate! Or the many all-of-a-suddenly phone-preoccupied owners who just don’t notice what their dog is doing.

Or the bewildering and not uncommon owner who picks the poo up, puts it in the bag, then lobs the bag into the bush! I’ve tried, but I just can’t work these ones out. Could someone who does this please explain?

And kudos to the employees who are responsible for the grassy areas around our coastal reserves. With their bespoke, total hands-off approach, they never let a month pass without increasing the plant diversity in these areas. Why cultivate a monocultural lawn when you can just sit back and watch as a diversity of weeds appear?

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I know how Council could save money: just stop spending it on needless projects such as trying to convert the former rubbish tip that is Bronte Gully into native bushland. The community don't want that. And the thousands saved could be added to the multi-millions spent on a new clubhouse, or something.

Sarcasm aside, sincere thanks and best wishes to the many nice folk I have met while working around here, who do support and encourage environmental care. I wish they were all like you.

Robert Parkinson Bellevue Hill SUPERANNUATION Dear James - While welcoming a broad spectrum of opinion in your excellent magazine (although Pearl sometimes pushes the boundaries), I was quite surprised to read the misleading and ideological article in your August edition by Andrew Bragg about superannuation (Super and The Pandemic, The Beast, August 2020).

The Superannuation Guarantee scheme introduced by Paul Keating is an excellent way to help people live comfortably in retirement. Now, being in my late 70s and having started Superannuation contributions in my 40s, the money put away, plus a small part pension from the government, allows me to live with dignity and confidence in the latter stages of my life.

No, Mr Bragg, the restrictions caused by COVID-19 are not yet easing, so we will not return to normal in the short-term.

While admitting that allowing people in need to draw on their superannuation in times of crisis is a good thing, the concern must be that people will struggle later in life as their balances are decreased.

Firstly, to argue that superannuation has damaged home ownership is a furphy. High home prices in Sydney and Melbourne, for example, have had a huge effect on denying first home buyers getting into real estate. Also, if we allow people

12 The Beast September 2020

to dip into their super to buy a first home, this will increase the pressure on prices.

Next, the cost of superannuation to the government is part of the budget process and was designed to benefit the wage earner who pays less tax on contributions. We must expect the government to forgo revenue if we are offering a benefit to contributors.

Thirdly, superannuation obviously does significantly reduce reliance on the pension. The argument should be to expand and increase superannuation deductions so that more people are provided for in retirement.

Fourth, I don't quite understand why Mr Bragg thinks there is an unholy alliance between industry funds, unions and the ALP. If the industry funds are outperforming the private super funds, surely this is to be applauded as the members will receive greater returns.

All in all, the article smacks of a politically ideological position that is out of touch with people’s needs and expectations.

Yours disgustedly, John Tinkler Coogee FADING WITHOUT A SPLUTTER Andrew Bragg’s article (Super and The Pandemic, The Beast, August 2020) recommending drastic changes to compulsory superannuation is more notable for its errors and omissions than its content - more fake news from another faux politician.

What he omitted to say was that compulsory superannuation has given low-income Australians access to investment options previously out of reach, countless finance industry jobs and the various government taxes arising from them, and relief for big investors from seeking funds overseas with a consequence that interest payments stay in Australia.

Also, compulsory super contributions are not the single cause of reduced home ownership.

Houses are the best asset class to own in this country, because the

principal place of residence is not subject to wealth tax, capital gains tax or death duties. It is the least taxed of all assets and this is what is pricing housing out of the reach of many. We know that conservative governments were responsible for abolishing these taxes. Like Andrew, his ideas are bound to fade into history without a splutter.

Steve Barker Bronte HOW COVID-19 DESTROYED THE LIBERAL PARTY Australia’s Liberal Party follows a catechism-like belief system consisting of four elements. The Coronavirus has destroyed all four. Belief number one is that the free market is seen as the panacea for almost all social issues. If we let the free market deal with the Coronavirus thousands will die needlessly.

The second belief system is deregulation - ending red tape!

What we need against Coronavirus is the exact opposite - we need regulation on social distancing, on which facilities should open or close and when, etc. The Corona pandemic demands more regulation, not less. Take regulation away and chaos reigns.

Thirdly, the Liberal Party advocates smaller government no nanny state! Take the state’s ultimate regulating force - the police - away and Coronavirusinfected people will try to cross the Victoria-NSW border until the police stops them. We depend on police, state and staterun hospitals.

Finally, there is privatisation.

John Howard sold us private health and he deliberately created conditions forcing people into private health, but healthcare for the rich is not working, as the USA has shown. Americans pay more for health than we do, only to get less in return. The USA has 440 deaths per million, Australia has five. The Coronavirus has comprehensively destroyed the Liberal Party’s belief system.

Thomas Klikauer Sweet Coogee

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HAVE YOUR SAY

Let us know your thoughts on dogs off-leash at Mackenzies Bay

Council is considering a timed off-leash dogs trial at Mackenzies Bay. We want to know if you are supportive or unsupportive of a trial, and if you have any particular ideas or concerns we should consider.

Consultation will run for six weeks, closing 20 September 2020.

Mackenzies Bay

Head to haveyoursay.waverley.nsw.gov.au for more information Questions? Call us on 9083 8000 or email openspace@waverley.nsw.gov.au

September 2020 The Beast 13

RIGHT-HAND ARROWS Dear Editor - Back at the height of the lockdown for the pandemic I wrote to Coogee’s local member Dr Marjorie O’Neill and asked while there was little traffic on the Eastern Suburbs streets if she could use her influence to review right-hand turning arrows on some of our major intersections. Just to name a couple: Frenchmans and Clovelly Roads, Carrington and Clovelly Roads, and Coogee Bay and Carrington Roads. I heard nothing back - not even a “Bugger off” email. I take it as a sign she has no influence!

So, I write to The Beast, where I know there is influence: come on Randwick and Waverley Councils, could you please erect right-hand turning arrows at least at those intersections? I’m sure there are more than just those ones too. These are probably state government roads, which is why I thought the local member could have had some influence. Oh well.

Now the traffic is starting to return and it won’t be long be-

14 The Beast September 2020

fore it’s back to dangerous levels.

Could you please act before we have deaths or serious injuries?

Melissa Randwick Dear Melissa - I am very sorry you have not yet received a response to your query. Please understand that during the pandemic when you wrote to us, we were receiving up to 800 emails per day. My office had to triage emails as many of my constituents were experiencing serious health and housing crises, and some were unable to work, pay rent or were stranded overseas.

My office has contacted Randwick Council on your behalf and are awaiting a response. If you would still like to discuss righthand turns, feel free to contact the office again and I would be happy to help.

Marjorie O’Neill State Member for Coogee NEVER LESS IMPORTANT Imagine my delight to read that the ABC is a national treasure.

Why do I have to pay for it then?

For tiresome CNN anti-Trump diatribes? Check. For Glastonbury-woke from the Ministry of Truth? Check. For gormless commentary on economics from “celebrity” presenters? Check.

For half-baked climate change hysteria? Check. For sumptuous appointments at the Palace of Ultimo while news and regional services are cut? Check. For lifestyle fluff and frippery? Check.

For a journalist cohort to the left of the Greens? Check.

Rupert Murdoch? Really?

Is this 1987 when Jean Kitson was allowed to be funny? When Quinton Dempster was calling out the venal grubs of Macquarie Street? Instead of old obsessions, better to fight the unaccountable social media cartel. Better to muster support for the ACCC in their pursuit of the digital carpetbaggers. Better to let the audience choose to pay for the ABC beyond its role as an essential service.

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The Ward boys.

Forever Johnno - Twenty Years On Words Nicola Smith Photo James Hutton After facing delays due to the COVID-19 lockdown, the annual Forever Johnno fundraiser will return to the Coogee Bay Hotel on Friday, September 18, to raise funds for the Clancy Ward at the Children’s Hospital at Westmead. The fundraiser honours the life of John Anders Ward, a Coogee local and son of Mal Ward, who died of liver disease in 2008. The Clancy Ward, where Johnno received his treatment, cares for children with liver and kidney problems.

This year’s fundraiser not only marks the 20th annual fundraiser for the Clancy Ward, but also celebrates what would have been Johnno’s 21st birthday, and Mal is hoping to raise $21,000 - the most ambitious target yet.

“It’s a bit disappointing that the night may not go ahead, but even with COVID-19 it’ll be our biggest year yet,” Mr Ward told The Beast.

The fundraising event is typically scheduled in May each year but was postponed 16 The Beast September 2020

this year due to lockdown restrictions. If Sydney follows Melbourne’s lead and goes back into lockdown, the event, including an online auction, will be held virtually.

“The raffle is the bulk of the money we raise, but if we don’t have the event we won’t get to have the raffle,” Mr Ward said.

“If you were going to come and buy $50 worth of raffle tickets, maybe you could go online and donate that money instead, or buy a limited edition t-shirt to support the cause.”

Johnno was only 20 months old when he had his first liver transplant, having been diagnosed with Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. Mr Ward started fundraising for the Clancy Ward soon after and has continued raising money since Johnno passed.

“At the time we just thought, ‘Let’s do something positive,’ and away we went,” Mr Ward told The Beast.

“Then, when he died, it made me even more determined to

keep raising money for the ward.”

The funds raised by Forever Johnno in previous years have provided the wards with beds that allow parents to sleep by their child’s side, portable televisions with Xboxes and cupboards full of games and books. The donations are well appreciated by the ward, which doesn’t receive any other external fundraising.

“I didn’t know until I had been fundraising for around 14 years that I was the only one fundraising for Clancy ward,” Mr Ward explained.

As twenty years have passed, it would be easy for the Forever Johnno campaign to fade into the background, but this year is set to be the biggest yet. An integral component in the longevity of the fundraiser is the next generation of locals who were the same age as Johnno that have grown up hearing about Forever Johnno and his legacy.

“I’ve got 18 and 19 year-olds coming up to me now at barbeques saying, ‘Hey, we knew your son, we knew Johnno,’ and I suppose I sometimes forget because he was so little, that he’d be grown up now,” Mr Ward told The Beast.

After twenty years of fundraising, Mal shows no sign of slowing down. We asked him whether he ever envisioned Forever Johnno continuing on for such a long time?

“Did I think it was going to go for 20 years? No,” Mr Ward replied, “but when I was on the cover of The Beast back in 2016, I said I would do it forever until I die, so I think I will.”

You can donate to the Forever Johnno fundraiser through the link on the Forever Johnno Facebook page, and you can order a t-shirt for $50 by contacting Mal Ward directly at mal@greataussiebbq.com.

BONDI SURF CLUB CONSERVATION & UPGRADE Council is working with Bondi Surf Bathers Life Saving Club to conserve and upgrade the historically significant Bondi Surf Club building.

The concept presented for the conservation project will highlight the exceptional heritage features and address accessibility, equal female to male facilities, a space for nippers and encourage interaction with the community.

Visit haveyousaywaverley.nsw.gov.au to find out more about the project.

Register to be involved in the consultation: haveyoursay.waverley.nsw.gov.au For more information: waverley.nsw.gov.au/bondisurfclub or call 9083 8000

They're watching us.

What's That Bloody Noise?

Words Nicola Smith Photo Ray Diation In the August 2020 edition of The Beast we published a letter from a Randwick resident, Jonathan, about a “high pitched, continuous tone” he had been hearing since he moved here on May 1. We subsequently received so many responses to Jonathan’s letter from concerned residents that we decided to investigate further.

The noise is described by other Eastern Suburbs locals as “a low-level noise, like a bunch of trucks idling”, a “white noise”, a “siren-like buzz” and something that is “quite loud”.

We received letters from people in Coogee, Bronte, Randwick and Bondi, confirming that they too hear this strange sound.

Residents also confirmed that they had been able to hear the noise for some time, some saying as early as the 1970s.

The Daily Telegraph actually published an article on a mysterious noise in Bondi back in 2009, when Waverley Council voted to ask the Environment Protection Authority to investigate, but eleven years on and the hum remains.

18 The Beast September 2020

Strangely, the Eastern Suburbs is not the only place in the world to hear this odd, ambient noise. A similar phenomenon was reported in Bristol, England, in the 1970s. Since then, residents of Taos, New Mexico, in the United States, Windsor, Ontario, in Canada, Largs in Scotland and Auckland, New Zealand, have reported hearing a mysterious “hum”.

In most cities it is estimated that around two per cent of the population can hear the noise, and it is unlikely to be tinnitus as it is often described as being low frequency. People who can hear it also claim to be able to move toward and away from the source and perceive a difference in the intensity of the hum.

Some potential explanations of the noise that have been investigated over the years include radio towers, industrial activity, wifi, testing of military weapons, restless Native American spirits trying to communicate, UFOs, electricity pylons, mass hysteria, armies of mating fish and the sound of your body movements (called somatasounds).

However, all of these theories remain unproven and those who hear the hum are yet to find any relief. People who hear this noise in other areas say it is not just irritating but has had serious effects on their health. Some of the local readers who wrote in to The Beast said that they need earplugs to get to sleep and that the noise has even caused insomnia. In other parts of the world people have reported experiencing stress, anxiety and depression as a result.

One popular theory is that the hum is caused by minute vibrations in the earth as waves pass over the ocean floor. This would make perfect sense to those living next to the ocean in the Eastern Suburbs but does not explain the phenomenon occurring in landlocked cities like Taos, New Mexico, in the United States.

Jonathan’s 5G network theory is ultimately unlikely as reports from Sydney and around the world trace it back to the early 1970s. However, the hum may be linked to a form of technology that was newly introduced to our lives around that time.

We should note here that mobile phones were introduced to Australia in 1973 and microwaves arived on our shores in 1967.

The proportion of the population who hear the hum may also suffer from hyperacusis, a condition that makes a person very sensitive to certain frequencies of sound. So, whatever the source of the hum, it may only be heard by people who experience this condition.

While we may not find a solution to this mystery any time soon, it’s comforting to know that it’s not just people in the east experiencing it. If you’ve heard the hum, you can contact The Beast or visit thehum.info to include your experience in a global research project trying to find its causes.

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September 2020 The Beast 19

Before the ice-cream binge.

Green Light for Channel Swimmers Words Nicola Smith Photo Yianni Aspradakis The Beast cover stars and aspiring channel swimmers Quinn Darragh and Luke Stewart have received an exemption to travel to the United Kingdom in September amid COVID-19 restrictions.

The pair have been training to swim across the English Channel to raise $74,000 to fund a new ventilator for premature babies at the Royal Hospital for Women’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. However, international border closures due to COVID-19 threatened to prevent them from attempting the swim.

“We submitted identical applications thirty minutes apart, but I got the go-ahead and then we had an anxious wait for Luke’s, which came in four days later,” Mr Darragh told The Beast.

“We’ve been hearing so many horror stories of flights being cancelled and people not being able to get home, but we’re so 20 The Beast September 2020

committed to the cause and the process so it’s such a relief to have the green light to go.”

The pair are hoping to fly out on August 31 and attempt the swim a little over a week after they arrive in Dover.

“We’re watching what’s happening in Australia very carefully because at the moment there’s an agreement with the United Kingdom that Australians coming in don’t have to isolate, so we’ll be able to go straight to Dover and have 8-9 days to acclimatise before attempting the swim.”

After being interviewed for the cover of the April edition of The Beast, the pair’s training routine had to change significantly due to lockdown restrictions.

“We planned to swim five days a week, doing a 5km pool swim and then cold swimming in the ocean, but we had to flip that on its head and just do laps

and laps and laps at Clovelly before the sun came up,” Mr Darragh said.

They will also be travelling to the United Kingdom alone when they originally had hoped to bring their families along.

“Originally we had planned to have a dream holiday with our families, sort of like a thank you to our wives for supporting us through this, and now it’s just the two of us going for the swim and coming back,” Mr Darragh explained.

But the duo hasn’t let the challenges of the coronavirus pandemic slow them down.

“In every challenge there’s an opportunity, and we wanted to be providing hope and light in these tough times,” Mr Stewart said.

The swimmers held a final fundraising event at Bondi Beach on August 16 (while this edition was being printed).

Both swimmers have been motivated by the community support so far, both in preparing for the swim and in trying to reach their fundraising target.

“There’s been a great wave of support and we’re just so humbled and grateful to be a part of an awesome community,” Mr Stewart told The Beast.

“We’re confident we can reach our target. Those little babies up at the Royal Hospital for Women don’t know COVID is happening, and we made a commitment to them, so we want to keep that,” Mr Darragh added.

The team also asked The Beast to publicly thank Quinn’s wife, Sheree, and Luke’s wife, Jade, for their unwavering support.

“There’s nothing truer than the fact that we simply could not have done this without them,” Mr Darragh said.

You can contribute to Quinn and Luke’s awesome fundraiser at runningforprematurebabies. com/channelswim.

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Elvira Drubetsky of Bellevue Tailor has risen to the challenge.

Business Battles on With Plenty of Local Support Words Nicola Smith Photo Cindy Ye Businesses in the Woollahra Local Government Area are navigating the ongoing challenges of the pandemic with the support of Council and their local community.

Woollahra Council is providing ongoing support to small businesses through a relief package valued at over $5 million, which has been extended in some areas until the end of the year. The council waived all outdoor and footpath dining fees in March and now plans to extend that waiver until December. They are about to announce ‘placemaking’ grants of up to $7,500 for business owners and organisations that will help promote the vitality of local commercial centres.

Woollahra Mayor Susan Wynne feels that supporting small businesses through the COVID-19 pandemic is a critical focus for the council.

“Many small business owners live and work in our local area and are an important part of our community,” Mayor Wynne said.

22 The Beast September 2020

“We are firmly focused on providing financial stability for the Woollahra community during these challenging times, and I’m proud that we have been able to help ease the economic impact of COVID through extensive relief measures.”

Beyond council support, businesses in Woollahra have been quick off the mark to adapt to the new realities of COVID-19 lockdowns. Kristie MacDonald, owner of the popular Rose Bay fashion store For Artists Only, said that creative thinking and a dependable community has helped her shop navigate lockdowns.

“It’s been a hard, demotivating and tough couple of months, but I’ve got a great team and loyal clientele and we had our online service running prior to lockdown, so we started adapting and marking stock down so we could move it pretty quickly,” she told The Beast.

Ms MacDonald introduced ‘cheap Tuesday’ to keep clients engaged with her business.

“We came up with an idea that every Tuesday we targeted a particular brand or group and just slashed it, so that day we had a really good cash flow that kept us going for the week and people loved cheap Tuesday, it worked really well,” Ms MacDonald said.

Many other local businesses have adapted their services to meet the needs of the new COVID reality. Elvira Drubetsky of Bellevue Tailor saw her work dwindle in the face of lockdowns until she started making face masks to give to the community.

“We’ve made evening gowns and men’s suits, but we’ve never made face masks before!”

Ms Drubetsky told The Beast.

“Now I’m here from 4am making masks every day, but I’m so happy because people will call and say how grateful they are for the masks.”

Bellevue Tailor has been open since 1994 and has made approximately 3,000 masks since the pandemic began.

“I thought I needed to do something to keep us going, but also to help the community,” Ms Dubretsky said.

“They are like family after 26 years.”

With the prospect of returning lockdown restrictions, businesses are continuing to feel the pressure.

“People are uncertain again just this week. Our sales have dropped dramatically, no one is coming into the store,” Ms MacDonald told The Beast.

However, Mayor Wynne is confident that support within the community is the best way forward to get through whatever the future may hold.

“We all have a role to play in helping local businesses to get through this, and I encourage everyone to continue to lend their own support in any way they can,” Mayor Wynne said.

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September 2020 The Beast 23

A new lease on life.

Making a Life-Saving Choice Words Nicola Smith Photo James Hutton After receiving a heart transplant last year, Bronte local Patrick Lucas wants to start the conversation about the lifesaving choice to donate organs.

Mr Lucas received a heart transplant after he was diagnosed with heart failure in April 2018 when doctors found that he had cardiomyopathy, a disease of the heart muscles that prevents the heart from pumping blood efficiently.

When medical therapy was unsuccessful, Mr Lucas was fitted for two ventricular assisted devices and went through eight weeks of rehabilitation at St Vincent’s Hospital.

“I didn’t realise it until after, but I was getting super amazing special attention,” Mr Lucas told The Beast.

“I had 24-hour access to the nurse who’s the expert, I was seeing the specialist all the time, and they made sure I was getting lots of tests.”

Mr Lucas spent ten months on the waiting list for a new heart before getting a call at 24 The Beast September 2020

5am with the news that there was a heart waiting for him.

Mr Lucas’ partner, Donna Peachman, remembers the experience as one that brought them closer together.

“You say, ‘In sickness and in health’, and you don’t realise that it’s going to happen so soon, but there was no question that we were just going to do it and get through it together,” she said.

Unlike other countries, Australia has an opt-in (rather than an opt-out) process for organ donation, meaning that there is a waiting list as well as a smaller pool of options from which to find a match.

Ms Peachman believes that the opt-in policy means there needs to be more conversation about organ donation in Australia.

“There needs to be more awareness around it. When Patrick was waiting for his heart, people were like, ‘Tell me what we can do for you’, and Patrick would say, ‘Well, you can sign

up to be an organ donor’,” Ms Peachman explained.

Donate Life Week, which recently ran from July 26 to August 2, is an annual event aimed at getting more Australians to opt-in to being organ donors by filling out a quick form online and having a conversation with their family.

The donor register isn’t only important for organ donations, but also donations of tissues and skin. During the 2019/20 bushfire season, tissue donations were critical to treating the burns of people caught in the fires.

Ms Peachman realised how little she knew about organ donation when her husband became sick.

“I wasn’t a donor before Patrick was unwell, and neither was Patrick. We just assumed it was on our drivers’ licence, but that was phased out ten years ago now,” she told The Beast.

Growing the pool of organ donors in Australia will mean more people like Patrick can get a new lease on life.

“I’ve loved going back to surfing. I only get those little moments out there, but the feeling is unreal,” Mr Lucas told The Beast.

“It’s one of my goals to get stronger and get confident again out in the surf.”

Having been through an organ transplant, the Bronte couple want to stress the importance of more people signing up to give life to others who are desperately waiting for organs.

“There are lots of us who are forever grateful for our heart donors and we want to help people who are on the list now. Please sign up, go to the website, have that conversation with your family and say, ‘This is what my wishes are’.”

If you would like to sign up to the organ donor register, please visit donatelife.gov.au.

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Romancing the Stone.

Craig Reucassel, from War on Waste to Fighting for Planet A.

Eco Living Expo Goes Digital Words Nicola Smith Photo Reece Eikle The popular Randwick Eco Living Expo will return this year in its new online format as the Eco Living Online festival held from September 18-20.

The weekend festival is usually held at the Randwick Community Centre each September, offering interactive workshops, organic food and a bike repair clinic, but this year it has been relocated online to ensure the maximum number of people can attend while still accounting for social distancing and the potential return of lockdown restrictions.

“We’ve taken a different approach to the Eco Living Expo this year by making the majority of it available to people to access online,” Randwick Mayor Danny Said told The Beast.

“Our talks and workshops, which will be offered via Zoom and live stream, still celebrate all things green and sustainable, but this year the information will be broadcast directly to people’s own homes.”

26 The Beast September 2020

This year’s expo will have a focus on energy, gardening and waste, as well as workshops on healthy snacks, sustainable fashion, composting, worm farms, electronic and bicycle repair workshops and more.

The main event of the weekend will be broadcast on Saturday, featuring Australian comedian Craig Reucassel, and Dr Karl on Sunday. They will also be joined by fashion sustainability expert Clare Press and social researcher and author Rebecca Huntley discussing the human factor in climate change. Each will host a talk and question and answer session. Clare Press is the host of The Wardrobe Crisis podcast and author of The Wardrobe Crisis: How We Went from Sunday Best to Fast Fashion.

The expo is designed to promote sustainable living within the Randwick Local Government Area, encouraging residents to have a smaller impact on the earth.

With 2020 being the 15th year of the Eco Living Expo, adapting to the online format will allow it to go ahead despite uncertainty around restrictions due to COVID-19.

Randwick Council hopes that every person who attends the festival, whether online or in person, will leave with a new piece of knowledge about how they can bring sustainable practices into their everyday life.

Mayor Said told The Beast that the online format will also bring flexibility to the expo, making it accessible to a wider range of Randwick residents.

“Unlike previous years, talks and workshops will be available across the entire weekend so people can dip in and out if they please, or binge on sustainability sessions for the entire two and a half days. This interim format will help residents make a positive impact on the environment and continue on their sustainability journey,” Mayor Said explained.

A further highlight of this year’s expo will be the screening of the 2018 documentary The Biggest Little Farm in partnership with the Ritz Cinema. A question and answer panel will follow the screening.

While some popular elements of the workshop, like the bike repair clinic, won’t be available in the online format, Mayor Said hopes that Eco Living Online will continue to encourage Randwick residents to make changes to their lifestyles.

“There will be a focus on giving people all the knowledge, confidence and encouragement to make big and small changes to their homes and lifestyles to benefit the environment,” he told The Beast.

Eco Living Online will run from September 18-20. Registration details for the various sessions will be available at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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September 2020 The Beast 27

Local lords.

Turning up the Talk on Mental Health Words Nicola Smith Photo Vaida Savickaite Three local mates are hoping to grow the conversation around mental health with the second season of their podcast, Turn Up the Talk. The ex-Waverley boys, Lochie Drew-Morris, Pat Clifton and Luca Moretti, started the podcast in October 2019 after observing several suicides by young people in the area.

The Black Dog Institute identifies suicide as the leading cause of death for people aged 15-44 years of age in Australia.

One of the podcast founders, Lochie Drew-Morris, said it started as a conversation between friends before they realised it was something they could take further.

“We kept hearing about them [suicides] and eventually we thought, ‘Yeah, maybe we really should do something about this’,” he told The Beast.

The podcast aims to help young people in particular to 28 The Beast September 2020

start conversations about their own mental health by inviting high profile guests to share their journeys with mental health on the podcast. The boys believe that listeners who hear their favourite sports stars or community figures discussing mental health will feel it’s a more acceptable topic to discuss with their friends and family.

Season one guests included Maryanne Larkin, the wife of the late Gavin Larkin, founder of RUOK, as well as TripleM host Gus Worland and former rugby league and union player Wendell Sailor. Season two guests include surfer and author Carmen Greentree.

“There’s a lot of awareness but a lack of education. We wanted to fill in the gaps of how you can help yourself and help others,” Mr Drew-Morris said.

The three founders also share their own personal journeys

with mental health on the podcast, a task they felt was quite daunting.

“I was never fully comfortable with talking about my story, but we thought if we’re going to ask people to come on the podcast, we need to share our stories first,” Mr Clifton told The Beast.

However, they quickly found that sharing their stories on the podcast reaped rewards in real life.

“Then we had kids we coached in rugby coming up and saying they had listened, and we realised that these younger age groups benefit the most from the mental health conversation. It really can be a bit of a wake-up call,” said Mr Drew-Morris.

The team feels that they are uniquely primed to speak to a younger generation at this stage in their lives.

“We’re four years out of school, so we can say with experience, ‘We did these things, we know what it’s like to feel that way’,” Mr Drew-Morris added.

The local community has come out in support of the podcast, which will return for its second season in late August 2020. Season two sponsors include Doyle’s, The Clovelly Hotel and E-Lab training.

The trio is aiming to build on the podcast in future and are already training in mental health first-aid certificates and hoping to return to Waverley College to speak to the students later this year.

“We’re in a really unique spot; we’re a podcast first and then a not-for-profit, so we can make a name through the podcast then make it something bigger,” Mr Clifton told The Beast.

You can listen to Turn Up the Talk on your podcast app or visit www.turnupthetalk.com for more information.

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September 2020 The Beast 29

Where can people see your work? At the newly opened Twenty Twenty Six Gallery in Bondi. We just opened at 17 O’Brien Street. You can also visit our website at twentytwentysix.gallery.

Who are your artistic inspirations? I don’t look so much to other artists, more to using mother nature as my backdrop and inserting the human form in there. That said, I definitely notice and appreciate many artists, and perhaps bits leak into my process, although I wouldn’t consciously study and imitate another artist’s work.

What are you working on at the moment? I had an unfinished exhibition that was headed to LA that was to be curated/opened by Gavin Rossdale of Bush fame. It was cancelled due to COVID so I’m exhibiting that body of work here. The first finished half is hanging in Twenty Twenty Six now and I’m working to complete the other half to hang next.

The master at work.

Local Artist...

Martine Emdur from Bondi Interview James Hutton Photo Jem Cresswell Introducing this month’s cover artist (and former cover star), Bondi’s marvellous Martine Emdur...

How long have you lived here? I grew up here, so it’s been fifty-odd years now. I’ve attempted a few moves away, even as far as Rose Bay, but I always feel most at home here.

What's your favourite beach? It’s hard to pick between our locals, but some of my favourite spots are in-between - the caves and rock pools.

What's your favourite eatery? I’m a big fan of M Deli. It’s in my street and saves me from my kitchen skills. Lox Stock & Barrel is a favourite too, and Ode is my go-to for a glass of wine. I love the vibe there, intimate and personal.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Rolling hills, cliffs, the ocean and beaches. I was driving down Bondi Road the other day and as soon as the water came into view a whale breached. Surely that’s a ‘best thing’?!

How would you describe your art? Expressive realism; my interpretation of snapshots in time that I find intriguing, curious, beautiful or otherwise. A sense of intimacy is often present, I love the space between two bodies. The suggestion of love and connection is strongly hinted at in my work.

30 The Beast September 2020

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I always fantasised about pursuing a creative path from very early on, I was always drawing and doodling. I had a lucky break selling a sketch for $50 when I was living on Dunk Island many moons ago and things snowballed from there.

Did you study art? I started at National Art School, although I didn’t stay long. I didn’t have the patience to go the hard yards with the studying of facts and history, etc. I just wanted to be rolling around in paint, so I quit and did just that. I did a couple of term courses at Waverley Woollahra Art, which was fantastic and provided the info I needed.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists?

Make lots of work, make it all the time, keep it moving, make loads of mistakes, throw things out, paint over things, put works aside that are blocking you and come back to them with fresh eyes. The more work you make, the sooner you will see your own style coming through. Be considerate as to who you take advice from. Other people’s visions may not suit your direction, so pluck what you need out of everybody’s two cents. Develop a thick skin with criticism, understand that’s one person’s perspective and may not be relevant. Be persistent.

What's your favourite thing about what you do?

Painting rocks my world, so that would probably cover it! Sharing a studio with other inspiring creatives is a big plus. Starting a gallery from nothing has been a wild learning curve and such a great experience. It’s a high risk venture and it’s added a huge spark. However the gallery progresses, I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to learn what I’ve learnt so far.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Wisdom? Meditation is good. Note to self: get back into it!

Waverley Council Update Mayor’s Message Community safety I would like to commend the Waverley community for continuing to do the right thing to help prevent the spread of COVID-19. Please, continue to wash your hands, stay at home if you are unwell and don’t hug your friends or extended family (for now). These actions are necessary to prevent the spread of community transmission and to help keep your loved ones safe. This has been a difficult year but together our actions are making a difference. To find out what support is available for local small business, please contact our business response team at business@waverley.nsw. gov.au

Social Impact Assessment as part of development applications In response to a Mayoral Minute, Council officers will investigate the preparation of Social Impact Assessment Guidelines for inclusion in the

Mayor Paula Masselos and Chris Bennetts from Transport for NSW

new Waverley Development Control Plan (DCP). Social impact is a key consideration of the assessment of any development application in terms of the impact of the proposal on the amenity of neighbouring properties and the locality. The Council’s DCP, does not, however, have explicit references to how social impact considerations should be assessed and managed.

I proposed that the Council investigates the preparation of a guide that considers how matters of social impact can most appropriately be assessed for inclusion in our DCP.

PUDO is here!

In a first of its kind project in Australia, Waverley Council has unveiled nine new kerbside pick-up/drop-off (PUDO) bays

across Waverley in a trial initiative aimed at increasing pedestrian and motorist safety and access to transport links and shared transportation. The PUDOs provide safe access for ride share vehicles, taxis and the general public to pickup and drop-off passengers safely in high traffic areas such as the Bondi Junction Interchange and Bondi Beach, with two endorsed mobile apps connecting them to the bay locations. This Smart City Transport and Parking initiative is a joint project between the Council, Transport for NSW, ride share operators and other key stakeholders. A 10th PUDO location is coming soon. Please see our website for more details.

Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au | Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Updates for Coronavirus COVID-19: waverley.nsw.gov.au/coronavirus

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your life is not that fascinating anyway. This is not a science fiction movie, even if it feels like one. Use some common sense and don’t fret about rubbish when there’s plenty of real stuff to be getting on with.

Jean Paul gets it.

The Unreliable Guide To...

Face Masks Words Nat Shepherd Photo Carole Maskin There has been a lot of controversy about the wearing of masks. I do understand, but if you think masks are uncomfortable, imagine being on a ventilator for three weeks. While public health experts, such as the World Health Organisation, can prove that masks help slow the spread of COVID-19, some people seem to see this as an attack on their civil liberties.

In the USA in May, an employee of the Michigan Family Dollar Store was shot dead for asking a customer to ensure her daughter complied with a statewide executive order and wear a mask before entering the store.

In Australia, many doctors, such as Dr Norman Swan from the ABC’s excellent Coronacast, have been telling us for months that we should all be wearing masks whenever we are in a confined indoor situation. It’s good advice, but how many people have you seen wearing a mask today?

At the time of my writing and I hope it’s changed by the time of publication - masks are a rarity in Sydney. Any32 The Beast September 2020

one wearing one is subject to suspicious glances and scrutiny, but never fear, The Unreliable Guide is here to show you how to wear your mask with pride.

Conspiracy Theories Here’s the best theory about COVID-19: it is here, it does exist and no one planned it (unless you believe Mother Nature is sick of human beings polluting her planet and wants to get rid of us). 5G? That’ll just help your phone work better. At this moment it is pointless trying to find a reason why COVID-19 is here; we should focus instead on not catching it.

Keep socially distant when you can and wear a mask so you don’t go spreading it around.

Masks are not the government’s way of turning us into identikit zombies; masks are symbols of rebels like V for Vendetta, Anonymous, Zoro and the Lone Ranger. Oh, and if/when there’s finally an immunisation available, go and get it. No one is organised enough to try and track you with a microchip, and

Protests in the US American protesters against the mandatory wearing of face masks in public have come up with the argument, “My body, my choice,” which kind of misses the point. Your mask won’t really keep you safe; your mask keeps me safe and my mask keeps you safe. We are working together to ensure each other’s health. When someone refuses to wear a mask they are not disregarding their health, they are disregarding yours.

This notion of individual discomfort to ensure community health could be why the public health order has been termed ‘communist’ by some.

Americans value the protection of individual liberties above all else, take this quote from Max Parsell, a 29 year-old powerline worker in Jacksonville: “Making individual decisions is the American way.” America is the richest nation on earth, but the fact they currently have more infections and deaths than any other country suggests a new American way should be found, and quickly.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide thinks we need to reassess our attitude to this new plague that is proving to be nothing at all like a simple flu, but a far more pernicious and long-lasting affliction. If we are going to survive this we are going to need to work together, so next time you see someone wearing a mask give them the thumbs up, because they are doing it for you. You won’t be able to smile, obviously, because you’ll be wearing a mask too.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News The changing nature of the pandemic has given us the opportunity to explore different ways to provide the events you enjoy in ways that will help you to feel safe. This year, instead of holding our Eco Living Expo at the Randwick Environment Park, where it is typically attended by several thousand people over the course of a day, we’ll instead hold a series of talks and workshops online over a three day weekend.

What’s On EVERY FRIDAY GARDENING ON THE WILDSIDE 1.30pm, Online Zoom event

1 SEPTEMBER WRITING FOR PLEASURE: A CREATIVE WRITING GROUP FOR BEGINNERS 2pm, Online Zoom event

8 SEPTEMBER WYLIE’S BATHS BUSHCARE 9.30am, Meet at BBQ area opposite Wylie’s Baths

20 SEPTEMBER KADOO FIRST CONTACT TOUR: BUSHWALK AND CULTURAL TOUR 11am, Guriwal La Perouse Headland and Museum. $20 per person, bookings essential

Eco Living Online will be held from Friday 18 September to Sunday 20 September. Over the course of the weekend you will be able to participate in a number of Zoom and livestreamed events that focus on popular sustainability topics such as energy, gardening and waste.

If you’re keen to create a purposeful wardrobe, repair household items, find out more about permaculture, pick up some great ideas for healthy snacks you can serve during family movie night, get into bike riding in your neighbourhood, listen to some climate talks or know how to save energy (and money), be sure to register for one of our workshops.

Dr Karl, Craig Reucassel and sustainable fashion expert Clare Press will host hour-long talks and Q&A live stream sessions. There will also be a live reptile show, kids craft sessions, storytimes and a magic show for kids included in the digital schedule.

We’ve partnered with the Ritz Cinema to host a screening of the feel-good documentary The Biggest Little Farm, followed by a Q&A at 6pm on Friday 18 September. To register for the film screening, talks or workshops, head to our website.

UNTIL 20 SEPTEMBER EMERGENCE AND BEYOND – EXHIBITION BY RANDWICK ART SOCIETY

Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

UNTIL 15 OCTOBER BEACH COUTURE: A HAUTE MESS La Perouse

Museum, 1542 Anzac Parade, La Perouse

UNTIL 29 NOVEMBER HAPPY VALLEY: LA PEROUSE IN THE DEPRESSION La Perouse Museum, 1542 Anzac Parade, La Perouse

Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

September 2020 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Alan Lloyd Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

•

Thursday

0.38 1.46 0.48 1.54

6 0426 1040 1639 2245

0.42 1.47 0.52 1.45

•

11 0214 1.11 0758 0.70 1443 1.43 2142 0.63

12 0334 1.11 0910 0.70 1550 1.49 2248 0.55

13 0445 1017 1651 2341

1.16 0.64 1.58 0.44

•

18 0233 0841 1439 2056

0.11 1.65 0.21 1.89

19 0315 0927 1531 2145

0.12 1.72 0.20 1.80

20 0359 1015 1627 2236

0.18 1.75 0.23 1.66

•

25 0302 0830 1514 2216

1.15 0.67 1.57 0.48

26 0420 0945 1624 2317

1.17 0.67 1.57 0.45

3 0257 0859 1445 2104

8 0530 0.53 1157 1.45 1813 0.62

9 0009 0609 1244 1913

1.25 0.60 1.43 0.66

10 0104 1.17 0657 0.66 1338 1.42 2024 0.67

14 0541 1.25 1116 0.55 1745 1.70

15 0027 0628 1208 1833

16 0110 0712 1258 1920

0.22 1.46 0.34 1.89

17 0152 0756 1348 2007

21 0443 1103 1726 2330

0.28 1.75 0.30 1.49

22 0529 0.40 1156 1.72 1830 0.38

23 0030 0619 1254 1944

1.33 0.52 1.66 0.45

24 0140 1.21 0719 0.61 1400 1.60 2102 0.48

28 0005 0607 1148 1811

0.41 1.30 0.56 1.61

29 0045 0646 1234 1852

30 0118 0722 1315 1929

0.36 1.43 0.46 1.62

7 0457 1116 1723 2324

0.47 1.47 0.57 1.35

0.33 1.35 0.45 1.81

0.38 1.37 0.51 1.63

Coogee's crazy cockies.

Sunday

5 0356 1005 1600 2211

0.31 1.41 0.44 1.72

0.32 1.37 0.46 1.74

Saturday

4 0327 0.34 0931 1.45 1521 0.45 2137 1.61

2 0226 0824 1408 2030

1 0151 0748 1329 1954

Friday

0.32 1.43 0.44 1.68

0.15 1.56 0.26 1.92

27 0520 1.23 1053 0.63 1723 1.59

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter

Homegrown heroes.

Clovelly Crocs Keep on Cranking Out the Talent Words Alasdair McClintock Photos Jothy Hughes Grassroots sport, like most things, has taken a bit of a pounding this year, so it’s nice to stop and reflect on some local talent doing well. The Clovelly Crocodiles, with their home ground picturesquely perched up on the hill above Clovelly Beach at Burrows Park, have been quietly humming along the past few years, developing a production line of sorts for young footballing talent.

Three immediately come to mind: Tom Wright, Victor Radley and Lachlan Lam (if you want to get cheeky, you could include Tristan Sailor too, but he only played a couple of seasons at Clovelly).

Radley is probably the most recognisable, having featured heavily in the Sydney Roosters’ run to the NRL Premiership in 2019 and being touted by many as a State of Origin bolter this year, before injury cruelled his chances. His time will come though. He has already achieved more than most do in their careers, and he’s barely started shaving.

Lachlan Lam, son of Queensland and PNG hero Adrian, has been busy cementing himself as a first grade teammate of Radley in 2020. Playing several games already, the tantalising prospect of a grand final appearance is not out of the question, some may even call it likely. Already taller than his father, it will not be long before he both metaphorically and physically emerges from his shadow.

Tom Wright is not only a great footy player, but also a unicorn, being a young star successfully poached by the ARU. Tom has been tearing it up on the wing for the ACT Brumbies and I don’t want to jinx it, but if he doesn’t get named for the Wallabies as soon as the Test matches return, I’ll ‘Cool Hand Luke’ it and eat fifty eggs.

It wasn’t long ago that the Sydney Roosters were an ongoing punchline in the NRL for not producing their own juniors, but as a long-time feeder for the club, the Crocs are now doing their best to put that stigma to rest. They’ve

also produced some very likeable young men, despite their success, and that is perhaps a greater endorsement for their set up.

With 2020 being a complete dog’s breakfast, we’ve at least had a chance to reflect on the importance of looking out for those who live around us.

It’s a strange world we live in when many of us don’t know the name of the person who sleeps within a few metres of us each night - I’m talking about neighbours; if you don’t know the name of a person sleeping in your house, that’s positively alarming – and local sports clubs like the Crocs do an immense amount of work to bring the community together. They also help to keep our kids fit and active, and give purpose to old codgers with dodgy knees who may otherwise be wasting their days away at the TAB. So, cheers to the Clovelly Crocodiles. May their premierships be plentiful and their young stars reach the heights they so heartily deserve.

September 2020 The Beast 35

Straight to Engadine Maccas after the game.

Scott Morrison Imprisoned for UnAustralian Activities Satire Kieran Blake, www.kieranblakewriter.com Photo Andrew Ettingshausen EXCLUSIVE: The Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison, has been found guilty of the highest form of treason and will become the first leader of Australia to spend the rest of his life in prison. Morrison was found to have knowingly engaged in unAustralian activities and will be immediately transferred from The Lodge to a maximum-security facility on Christmas Island.

The sudden removal of the prime minister and the ensuing silence from the Department of Home Affairs will no doubt prompt wild speculation as to the specific actions which landed Morrison in prison.

Pundits are expected to cite the corruption, adultery and endless scandals of his LNP colleagues, and his unwavering devotion to the fossil fuel industry, which will see the opening of new coal mines, including one directly underneath Sydney’s water catchment. Fingers will be pointed at the SportsRorts saga, the trial of Witness K, the military budget and the 36 The Beast September 2020

collusion with Clive Palmer, which helped Morrison to win the unwinnable federal election.

Blame will undoubtedly be laid at Morrison’s attempt to rewrite Australian history by publicly denying the existence of slavery in the country, and the country’s steady descent into authoritarianism under his rule.

Anonymous sources within the Department of Home Affairs have suggested to The Beast that the dismissal may have been a reaction to Morrison’s adoption of socialism during the COVID-19 pandemic. The use of state money to pay the wages of thousands of citizens for an extended period of time may have boosted his approval rating, conceded the source, but angered powerful elements within the hard right of the LNP. An accusation of treason implies an attack on the core values and traditions of a nation; an act as treacherous as eating a meat pie with cutlery, drinking warm beer, enjoying a burger

without beetroot or knowing all the words to Advance Australia Fair. It could even include hoarding toilet paper.

Morrison, however, has done something far worse, something that strikes at the very heart of the nation.

“He switched footy teams,” explained the source.

“Scott Morrison was born and raised in the heartland of the Sydney/Eastern Suburbs Roosters, but now supports the Cronulla Sharks. You don’t do that.”

“Even if switching teams wins votes in the Shire and smooths the path to the nation’s top job, you don’t switch footy teams - it’s unAustralian.”

Morrison, meanwhile, has been denied the right to a fair trial and the right to comment publicly, but did manage to slip a short statement to the magazine which represents the people of his homeland.

“If you’re thinking of switching footy teams halfway through your life, don’t do it.

Just don’t do it.”

ent Do differ

Get out won to oef er n et a farm

M round his own g tucker co mes from See w here yo ur

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Visit: woollahra.nsw.gov.au/community/business September 2020 The Beast 37

An actual concept drawing from the first attempted land grab.

'Celebrate Life' at Bronte SLSC Satire Kieran Blake, www.kieranblakewriter.com Photo Con Crete Ladies and gentlemen of the Eastern Suburbs, your new lifestyle destination is here: Welcome to Bronte’s Sartorially Luxurious Seaside Citadel (SLSC).

This architecturally-designed super structure promises a new era of dining, entertainment and self-awareness, nestled betwixt azure waters and Brontenext-the-Sea. Immerse yourself in the essence of eastern coastal living and witness first-hand the dramatic transformation of the 1970s clubhouse into an unrivalled social precinct, envisioned for your pleasure by renowned architect Haiyer Price.

Traverse the endless attractions of an edifice stretching from its original location to Bronte Road and the golden sands of Bronte Beach. Rescue boards, tubes, swim fins, Gsleds and the club’s IRB will adorn the walls throughout the structure, and an effortless coastal chic informs the aesthetic of this rewarding immersive experience.

Satisfy your deepest craving in the Michelin-starred gastronomy sector, which occupies 38 The Beast September 2020

the entire top floor, and hold court at Sydney’s first doggie café, because nothing is more important than your precious pooch. Treat your furry friend to a dog massage and a makeover with our exclusive on-site canine stylist.

Bask in the karmic cognizance that your single meal purchase will recoup the $9 million cost of the refurbishment, and gasp in wonderment that a renovation in the Eastern Suburbs could be achieved with such a meagre outlay.

Step from the gastronomy sector, through floor to ceiling windows, to the Wave Wall and watch hapless swimmers succumb to the current beside the reef, before congratulating the designers on the choice of the IRB as a decorative centrepiece.

Savour seafood delights and marvel at the most recent incarnation of the Bronte train as it delivers delectable sushi and sashimi dishes in our highly acclaimed CityZen restaurant.

Feast on mouth-watering Japanese dishes prepared with seafood sourced entirely from the Pacific Ocean (off Japan).

Reinvent yourself with a blissful yoga or wellbeing session on our world-first glassbottomed YouGa platform, suspended over the refreshing waters of the Bogey Hole. Rest assured that doggie yoga is available, because nothing is more important than your precious pooch. For a truly invigorating experience, slide serenely from the YouGa platform into the calming waters of the Bogey Hole, now accessible only to VIP members of Bronte SLSC. Bronte SLSC also delivers an interactive experience.

Members and their guests are encouraged to seek out the official guest book, and tell everyone what they would have done differently with the renovation.

Conversely, members of Bondi SLSC are offered the chance to visit an archival display of the world’s oldest surf club, and the opportunity to rewrite history.

Bathe in the rejuvenating potential of a destination freed of the impediment of a surf lifesaving club and its iconic Australian volunteers, and live the life you deserve. Bronte SLSC, so Eastern Suburbs…

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Nice work Marj.

Community First - How We Won the Fight for Children’s Health in the East Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Dee Fibrilator The focus of much of our health related discussions this year have concerned COVID-19 and associated matters like our huge indebtedness to those workers at the front line protecting us.

I am also very aware that while our broad community focus has been on dealing with the threats posed by this once-in-a-hundred-year pandemic, many of us have had to deal with health issues like life-threatening illnesses and even deaths. I know we all feel deeply for those having to deal with such difficult and painful experiences in the context of social distancing and other implications of COVID-19.

There has also been some good news on the health front right here in the East and it is especially important that we take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate this success in what might otherwise be a fairly gloomy context.

As many readers of The Beast will be aware, the state government last year announced plans to shut down the children’s cardiac unit at Prince of Wales 40 The Beast September 2020

Hospital (POW) in Randwick, which would have meant the only cardiac services for kids across all of the Sydney metropolitan area would have been at Westmead.

Our local community was rightfully up in arms about these plans. I, like many of you, have friends and family across our local area who have newborn and infant babies whose health is paramount to us all.

While we strongly support children’s cardiac services at Westmead, we know that in a growing metropolis the size of Sydney there is a desperate need to retain such vital health services in the eastern part of the city as well as in the west. A one-hour commute across Sydney could determine whether a child lives or dies.

A great many people here in the Eastern Suburbs and beyond stood up and strongly spoke out against the Berejiklian government proposal. I was proud to be part of those efforts, helping to set up a petition to save these services at Prince of Wales Hospital, and thousands of people signed up.

After fantastic campaigning from members of the community, earlier this year the government relented - for now at least - and pledged to continue with children’s cardiac services at Randwick. We should celebrate this outcome, but the fight is not fully over and done with just yet. Even now, over half a year on, funding is yet to be allocated to make the government’s promise a reality.

All eyes must be on the 2020 New South Wales state budget, which is soon to be delivered.

As your local MP, I will continue to hold the government to account on its promise to maintain our vital health and other services in the East.

The fight to preserve our children’s cardiac unit at POW in Randwick serves as a stark reminder that as a community we must all be vigilant when it comes to protecting important services, but it also provides a glimmer of hope that community action can achieve better outcomes. Imagine, community-led public policy - now there’s an idea!

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP

Member for Coogee If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.

To fill out my community survey, scan this QR code!

Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP, 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick. August 2020

Big Dave delivers a sermon.

When Too Much is Never Enough Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Sue Zooky As is often the case, when searching for a topic to write about I find myself sifting through my bookshelf for inspiration. This time something a little different turned up.

Amongst all the textbooks and other non-fiction works I have collected over the years I stumbled across a small, slightly understated book by David Suzuki titled The Legacy.

I didn’t have just one copy of the book, I had two. On the book’s cover, just below the title, was a brief synopsis of its contents; “An elder’s vision for our sustainable future”. With Suzuki’s vision in mind, I was a little bothered by the fact I had two copies. “That’s not very sustainable, I don’t need two, maybe I should give one away?”

But I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to, both books are still here, staring at me from their place on the kitchen table. It wasn’t because each copy was a gift from family that made me keep them, there was something else deep inside the reptilian part of my brain that was compounding the issue. My conundrum was caused by an age-old common conflict: ‘need verses want’.

42 The Beast September 2020

The message from Suzuki is fairly simple; the impact that humans have on the biosphere is enormous and unsustainable, and only by addressing this will we take the search for alternative ways to live as seriously as we must. The very first graph in his book is quite confronting. From 0-1800 AD, the world’s population slowly rose to just under one billion, and since then the population has exploded to a current estimate of 7.8 billion - an increase of roughly 7 billion people in just 200 years. It’s a curve of exponential growth that would make the eyes of COVID analyst Casey Briggs light up.

Despite an aging society, the population curve shows no sign of flattening out just yet. The main reason? Technology. Science and technology combined have allowed the population to skyrocket, resulting in soaring levels of consumption. A side effect of this newfound consumption, which really began with the onset of the industrial revolution, was a shift in our mindset from ‘needing’ to ‘desiring’. If we satisfied our desires by consuming, the world would be a better place. So,

buying and spending became the new norm, developing a system where buying ‘stuff’ was seen as a victory over poverty, and in turn leading us to believe that the more ‘stuff’ we have, the happier we’ll be.

But is this really true? In a culture where we have come to believe anything is possible and anything is attainable, are we any happier? Surely I must be better off because I can eat a peach in the winter that’s been imported from the US, or take that cheap cruise around the South Pacific where the ship uses over 90 litres of fuel per kilometre, or go to that buffet and eat as much as I want?

According to author Alain De Botton, there is an actual list of essential non-material things that make us happy. In no real order, that list includes friends, freedom, thought, food, shelter and clothes. Notice how money and ‘stuff’ didn’t make the cut?

Sure, you might need money to provide food, shelter and clothing, but spending larger amounts of money for these things doesn’t correlate with happiness. In other words, our level of happiness will plateau at some point regardless of how much you spend. “But hang on,” I hear you say, “surely buying a Ferrari will make me happier than a Hyundai?” Well, not if you have no friends to share it with.

Why are we drawn to expensive things, and are we just being greedy if we want them?

It comes back to desire, which in itself is not a bad thing, but bare in mind it is a prominent theme of the seven deadly sins. As for my spare copy of The Legacy, if anyone wants it please give me a shout.

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French mussels with blue cheese.

A Most Memorable Experience Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Fletcher Moules Thanks to the opening of Foodie del Mar on Avoca Street, Randwick, locals no longer have to argue over what type of cuisine they want for dinner. In even more exciting news, owners Kristofer and Daphne Taylor may have also changed the dating game in the east forever.

Foodie del Mar began its journey at the Bondi Markets, where the passionate foodie couple would share their love for paella with the ever-thankful locals. Plenty of positive feedback saw them branch out into wedding, private and corporate catering. The opening of Foodie del Mar means they now have a face, and a pretty one at that.

It’s a cool, chilled out space.

Old wooden cable wheels have been turned into low-sitting tables and a couch, record player and buoyant tunes make for a relaxed yet fun atmosphere.

The location allows the setting sun’s golden rays to stream in through the front windows perfect for a sundowner.

Foodie del Mar’s catering focuses on creating a memorable experience. You’ll be transported to Spain for Paella, Mexico for tacos, Morocco for berber 44 The Beast September 2020

spiced lamb, the Amalfi Coast for gyros and meatballs or Asia for dumplings and Malaysian curry. The Foodie Bar menu allows customers to enjoy these experiences with a “bowls and booze” concept, all in the one place. Most of these experiences come in bowls, and there are tasty starters on offer too.

I kicked my experience off with a mix of dumplings and an empanada (Spanish pie) before diving into three of the eleven bowls. They were hard to split, so I’ve categorised them based on when they should be enjoyed.

The tangy Greek pork Mykonos gyros bowl served with tzatziki is best enjoyed on a warm Sunday afternoon with a few drinks, the Malay Rendang, made with 16hour slow cooked beef and Asian greens, should be consumed on a cold Friday night, and the Paella Escondido bowl, made with Mexican chipotle chicken and topped with charred corn, salsa and corn chips, should just be consumed as often as possible.

This isn’t your typical zero-calorie bowl eatery, but it is healthy, wholesome and delicious food, and you can dine-in, pick it up or have it delivered.

For a bachelor like myself, the most exciting part of my visit was the discovery of the DIY Foodie Kits. Foodie del Mar has joined forces with Get Fish from the Sydney Fish Market to produce a gourmet-style take-home cooking kit, perfect for sharing. I was lucky enough to be gifted one of these kits, so the very next night I invited a petite, long-haired blonde by the name of Jethro (Bondi Rescue), to join me for a romantic dinner in.

We opened a bottle of Pinot and cooked together. Our kit contained a seafood paella, featuring a wild king prawns and premium seafood mix from Get Fish, smoked chorizo and a smoky capsicum and tomato sofrito with rice, vegetable stock and a step-by-step guide.

If you’re lucky enough to get a second or third date, other DIY options on offer include Singapore chilli crabs, French mussels with blue cheese, and a king prawn curry laksa (order from getfish.com.au).

Cooking an actual meal was a pleasant, easy and fulfilling process, and the final product was extraordinary. If you’re like me and dates are hard to come by, don’t fret; Foodie del Mar are hosting Foodie Nights, where you can go into the restaurant with a bunch of friends, have the kits cooked for you and indulge. If you’re wondering how my rare, romantic night ended… a gentleman never tells!

Foodie del Mar 133 Avoca Street, Randwick Web foodiedelmar.com.au Instagram foodiedelmar Phone 0414 738 155 Open 5-9pm Thu-Fri, 4-9pm Sat, 4-8.30pm Sun Prices Bowls $17.50-$20, DIY Foodie Kits $39-$55 Licensed BYO (license coming soon)

Honouring an old favourite.

Strawberry, Ginger and Ricotta Cheesecake Words and Picture Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine A bright, sweet cheesecake is a great way to kick off spring, especially this year! I love a dessert that hits the sweet and savoury notes, and the mix of strawberry, ginger and ricotta is a delicious way to honour this old favourite. The strawberries have been macerated, creating enough of a syrupy drizzle to pour over the entire dish. It’s fun to be decorative with your desserts, so pull out your favourite ceramics and set the table for an afternoon of high tea.

Ingredients Base 250g (1pkt) ginger nut biscuits 80gm butter, melted Cheesecake filling 500g fresh ricotta 225g cream cheese, softened 400g marscarpone 2 tbsp ground ginger

½ cup strawberry jam 150g caster sugar 1 tsp vanilla paste 4 eggs 1.5 tbsp cornflour mixed with 2 tbsp water Topping 2 x 250g punnets fresh strawberries, tops removed, quartered 4 tbsp icing sugar, sifted A good squeeze of lemon juice Method 1. Preheat the oven to 150 degrees fan forced. Grease and line the base of a 20cm springform round baking tin. Place gingernut biscuits in a food processor and pulse until they are broken down to even and fairly fine crumbs. Add the butter and pulse to combine. Remove and press into the base of your tin and chill in the fridge for half an hour.

2. To prepare the filling, place ricotta, cream cheese (softened), marscarpone, strawberry jam, caster sugar, lemon zest, vanilla paste and ground ginger into a food processor and pulse until smooth.

3. Add the cornflour/water mix and the eggs to the food processor and pulse until combined.

The ingredients should be well incorporated and smooth.

4. Pour the mixture over the chilled base and bake for 1 hour.

Without removing the cheesecake from the oven, turn off the heat and allow the cheesecake to rest and cool in the oven for a further hour, then remove from the oven and leave in the tin until completely cool.

5. Meanwhile, prepare the strawberries for the top of the cheesecake. In a bowl, combine the cut strawberries, a generous squeeze of lemon juice and icing sugar and toss to coat the strawberries. Let them sit for at least half an hour to macerate. This will provide a syrup amongst the softened strawberries (they should still be firm, not mushy).

6. Remove the cheesecake from the tin and transfer to a serving plate. Spoon the strawberries and syrup over the cheesecake and serve.

7. The cheesecake can be made in advance and refrigerated overnight, however only prepare and add the macerated strawberries when you are ready to serve.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family.

She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

September 2020 The Beast 45

Subject Silver winged ocean doves Location Bondi Photographer Graeme Bogan

Subject Dusky skies Location Bondi Photographer Alan Henderson

Subject Shadows Location Bondi Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter

Subject Rainbow reflections Location Clovelly Photographer Barbara Lake

Subject Lorikeet love Location Bondi Junction Photographer Graeme Bogan

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Holiday activities Location Randwick Photographer Lauren Arena

Subject High flyer Location Bronte Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter

Subject A-frame Location Tamarama Photographer Leanne Carter-James @carterlea

Subject Little Coogee Location Clovelly Photographer Annalisa @ap_annalisa

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

The Beths

JUMP ROPE GAZERS Label Carpark Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Jump Rope Gazers is one of those nightmare albums that are just so inoffensively good, it’s hard to say anything meaningful in a review. Strong songs, nice production and reasonable lyrics all combine for a pleasant listening experience, akin to having a quiet cup of tea with a generous selection of biscuits to choose from. If I were a young woman, perhaps I could derive more from it, but I’m not, so I will just have to enjoy it and move along. The best I can say is that I wouldn’t change the radio station if a song came on.

The Streets

NONE OF US ARE GETTING OUT OF THIS LIFE ALIVE

Label Island Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating 

RAMS Genre Drama Comedy Director Jeremy Sims Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Woolly sheep, striking rural landscapes, knockabout characters and a sprinkling of wry outback humour all make for the delightfully heart-warming Aussie film, Rams. This is somewhat surprising as this latest offering from director Jeremy Sims (Last Cab To Darwin, Beneath Hill 60), is actually a reinterpretation of the 2015 award winning Icelandic film by Grímur Hákonarson.

Michael Caton (Last Cab To Darwin, The Castle) and Sam Neill (Hunt For The Wilderpeople) are perfectly cast as two feuding Aussie sheep farming brothers who hold grudges and are like chalk and cheese in their approach to life. When a deadly livestock disease threatens their award-wining sheep and the valley’s future existence, they must put their decades of grievances aside to ‘pull the wool’ over the eyes of the local authorities before their tight knit community is shut down.

At its core is a feel good story about relationships, communities, putting aside differences for the greater good and the bonds that join us all together. A lesson to take heed of in these trying times.

48 The Beast September 2020

Mike Skinner, AKA ‘The Streets’, disappeared from the scene years ago, saying he would only return if he was 40 and broke. Evidently that has happened, although he claims this album is less a genuine comeback and more an effort to promote a movie he is either making or made, I’m not sure. He has kept true to his witty, dry style, and in a way it feels like he never left us, though one gets the sense he is very, very tired. You would think with a decade off he would be a little more refreshed. Still, it does have its moments.

Songbirds 2

PRISONERS FROM VARIOUS NSW CORRECTIVE INSTITUTIONS

Label Independent Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Well, this is bloody amazing. A collection of songs all written, developed and recorded by inmates in corrective institutions throughout NSW. Some are incredible, and if they were released by a proper band they’d be at the pointy end of the charts. Two clear highlights are the tracks from the women’s prison. One can’t help but wonder how much talent has been lost to lack of opportunity? Is someone sitting in a jail cell in Long Bay who could have cured COVID-19, had they been given a smoother ride from birth? Possibly, but probably not.

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ACROSS 1. Capital of Haiti (4,2,6) 7. Board game with a bar (10) 8. Relating to magic and spirits (6) 9. Cricket oval in Brisbane (5) 11. A place or group different to those surrounding it (7) 12. American athlete that played professional baseball and gridiron, ...

Jackson (2) 13. Feline (3) 15. Blue Eyes, Frank ... (7) 17. Turf; English slang for unpleasant person (3) 19. Remove (3)

20. Coordinated tasks of an event (12) DOWN 1. Spanish cubist artist (5,7) 2. Quickly rebound (8) 3. Heavenly beauty (7) 4. Large cat (4) 5. Cause a person to remain alone (7) 6. Predicted future figures based on limited data (12) 10. French entertainment (7) 14. Particular aspect (5) 16. Small island (4) 18. Educated dwarf (3)

Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Amy Clifton Instagram @byamyrenee 1. Which Spice Girl was Geri Halliwell?

2. How many secret herbs and spices does KFC have?

3. What was the name of the 1968 Roman Polanski horror movie starring Mia Farrow?

4. What is cilantro also called?

5. Flea is a founding member of which rock band?

6. What is the name of John Cleese’s character from the TV show Fawlty Towers?

7. Which English slang word for awesome also refers to money production?

8. Which character from To Kill a Mockingbird visits Maycomb every summer from Mississippi?

9. Which food is supposed to ward off vampires?

10. What is capsicum known as in the USA?

The Bunker.

September 2020 The Beast 49

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Leave everything right up until the last minute, otherwise you’ll have nothing to do and get even more bored than you already are.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 When things are going smoothly, you won’t need your mates so much; it’s when things are shit that you’ll really rely on them.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 No matter how hard you try to resist genetics, you’re slowly turning into your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 The best thing that could happen to you would be to lose your job so you can get stuck into something that actually excites you.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Attempt to learn a new skill by spending a fortune on all the gear but never actually bothering to learn how to use any of it.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Stop being such an uptight prick and let your hair down. It’s time to get some woof up that hooter of yours and live a little.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Use the pandemic as an excuse for all your failures at work and in life, even though that’s got nothing to do with it.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Stop stressing over your status and just be a legend - it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Next time your self confidence is low, visit a supermarket in another part of Sydney and let all the inbreds boost your ego.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Take a photo of your genitalia, then zoom in really close and you will find a nice little surprise waiting for you.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Whatever it is that you really want to achieve in life, you’ve got about a month to get the ball rolling before it’s too late.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Many parts of your body will seem to hang a bit lower than usual this month, especially your arse (and it’s irreversible).

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. Ginger Spice 2. 11 3. Rosemary’s Baby 4. Coriander 5. Red Hot Chili Peppers 6. Basil Fawlty 7. Mint 8. Dill 9. Garlic 10. Bell pepper 1

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With over 90 years of experience in Eastern Suburbs property, we get results.

Call: 02 9387 1700 www.willsproperty.com.au 50 The Beast September 2020

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Biodiversity Climate Change Conserving Resources Coastal Protection

RANDWICK CITY

Environment Strategy Our Environment Strategy details what actions we will take over the next 10 years to protect and conserve our environment and create a sustainable Randwick City.

YOUR SAY RANDWICK Offer your feedback at yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au

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