The Beast - November 2015

Beast the

THE MONTHLY MAGAZINE FOR SYDNEY'S BEACHES OF THE EAST • NOVEMBER 2015

A Passion for Fashion

Pip Edwards

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Welcome to November 2015... Time On Our Hands Words Dan & James Hutton Picture Steven Kuiter - Wildlife Photographics

W

elcome to the November 2015 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East.

It’s hard to believe there’s only one month of spring left before summer sets in. Why do the three miserable months of winter take so long to lapse while the more pleasant spring and summer months fly by at breakneck speed? Someone needs to hit the slo-mo button, stat.

There are many things to like about November, but few rate higher than the fact that footy season is finally over. Don’t get me wrong, we here at The Beast love our ball sports; it’s just nice to finally reclaim our weekends and have a Facebook feed free of Roosters and Rabbitohs rants about why one club is better/grubbier than the other. We can finally all just get along and focus our energies on bagging politicians

and posting conspiracy theories.

Speaking of politicians, this is the first edition of The Beast to come out since ‘Our’ Malcolm Turnbull took over the mantle of Prime Minister.

While I’m sure not everyone who reads this rag is equally enamoured by the Point Piper member of parliament, he’s most certainly more popular than the bloke who preceded him. Mr

Turnbull has given us his time on a number of occasions and appeared on the cover of The Beast twice, and we wish him all the best in his new role.

On the cover this month is Australian fashion icon Pip Edwards.

As one of the creative minds behind the inception of Ksubi, a key contributor in the global rise of Sass & Bide, and now the design director at retail streetwear behemoth General Pants, it’s fair to say that the ‘tell it how it is’ style queen knows a thing or two about the rag trade. Given her eye for fashion, it seems only a matter of time before she goes out on her own and takes on the world.

As always, there’s plenty of other good stuff inside the mag this month, so we hope you enjoy reading the November 2015 edition of The Beast.

Cheers, Dan & James

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Contents November 2015 • Issue 130

6 9 10 12 20 22 24 26 27 47 48 50

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Letters Local Bloke Local Chick Thumbs & Dogs Local News Beastpop I Beastpop II Sports Bits Calendar

51 52 60 62 63 64 66 68 70 71 72 74

Local Tradies Interview Local Photos I Rupert’s Rant Beastpop III The Naked Truth Trippin’ With Todd Local Wildlife Fish ‘n’ Tips Tide Chart Underwater Wildlife Enviro News

Emily Foschi's photo of her favourite grassy knoll.

76 78 80 82 84 86 87 88 90 96 98 98

Travel Bug Street Style This Sporting Life Sexy Time Local Photos II Reviews Arts Bits Bandage Food & Wine Beast Brainteasers Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions

Riddled.

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Con Tagious

Dear Pearl, A mother in Burnie Park recently told me that her child had hand, foot and mouth disease, and that it may be best if my son didn’t play with her. Of course, when I turned around it was already too late. What the hell was she doing with a contagious kid in the park in the first place? Is it just me, or is this the height of selfishness? I didn’t say anything at the time, but in hindsight I wish I had. What would you have done, Pearl?

Regards, Lizzy Dear Lizzy, How timely your letter is! Just as I was about to launch into a seething rant aimed at Malcolm Turnbull, who has deliberately denied me the plethora of column material provided by the antics of Tony Abbott, I received your compelling plea for my assistance and guidance. The politics of Australia has nothing on the politics of parenting, or my ego.

10 The Beast | November 2015

Let me take a ‘generous’ approach to your concern. Imagine the mother of a sick child confined to the insular walls of a tiny apartment (not all of us have a cool $2M to spend on a tiny house with a patch of paving), driven to the point of insanity by the voice of Elmo, bored witless reading yet another sanctimonious Thomas the Tank Engine book in which a train with a macabre face has caused ‘confusion and delay’. She is so desperate to be free of her surrounds, so wanting for a break, that she chances that she will be the only mother in the park on a cold winter day and whisks her kiddie out for a spot of fresh air.

Or maybe the mother stares into her empty fridge and realises there’s no milk, and while dashing to FoodWorks her child spies the playground at Burnie Park from her booster seat and throws an almighty tantrum, which causes the mother to stop the car for a much-needed breather on the swings.

That said, let me take a step back - generosity towards

Yummy Mummies is not my forte and the scenarios I have described aren’t in accordance with strict ‘Eastern Suburbs Parenting Philosophy’.

Lizzy, what you have interpreted as “the height of selfishness” is mostly ignorance and stupidity with a touch of Eastern Suburbs arrogance. Allowing a toddler to run around a park with a contagious viral illness may appear selfish and contrary to health warnings, but the mother sees it as ‘free ranging’ – “Darling, what harm is there in building up a bit of disease resistance; I didn’t think anyone would seriously object.”

Sharing is caring in the East, Lizzy. Just as we encourage our kids to ‘share’ (steal) sand toys and we ourselves ‘share’ personal space (driveways, sand space, positions in queues), it is important that your child shares the burden of hand, foot and mouth. So toughen up, princess, and share the love as well as the disease – it takes a village to raise a child.

Love Pearl, Parenting Expert

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Sent in by The people of the Eastern Suburbs

MAN UP AUSTRALIA I read The Beast's October comments about gun ownership in the Eastern Suburbs. Jeez, Australia, wake up! This is the twenty-first century; guns are so last century. Every home needs some ICBMs (or whatever they call 'em these days) and some big bazookas. I'm not sure if I've got my wires crossed on big bazookas (or maybe that is some other personal necessity that people want these days)?

And four-wheel drives in the 'burbs? Man up Australia; we need tanks! Big, rumbling, hulking, camouflage liveried, triple parking spot tanks! They need 200mm cannons and five seats in the back, and a flamethrower to put any pooncey Weber to shame. That'll show your neighbours just what you think of their new ‘black is the new black’ SUV and six-burner barbie. When the parking officer turns up, point that baby at the miscreant and say, "You and what army!?" You'll never miss a parking spot again, and 4WDs will let you cut in with a polite smile and a wave of the hand.

You'll be granted a VIP pass to Westfield's closest spots to the escalators; otherwise you will ‘escalate’ yourself.

No wonder we are the laughing stock of the developed nations. Keep up or perish!

Chopper Rabbett, Bondi

12 The Beast | November 2015

DISCRIMINATION IS ILLEGAL Dear Editors, This is about The Beast’s star signs on page 96 of the October 2015 edition of the magazine (Beardy From Hell, October 2015). I was offended by the following words that The Beast published under Sagittarius: “Adopt a position and stick with it. Wanting the best of both worlds is the equivalent of ploughing a tranny.”

This could be seen to be fostering transphobia. Transphobia refers to ‘discrimination, prejudice, violence or harassment that is perpetrated on a person because of their transgender, gender questioning or gender diverse identity and /or expression. It is a crime under NSW anti-discrimination law’ - Transgender Anti-Violence Project from Gender Centre Website.

And further, I was offended by the following that The Beast published, under the star sign Aries: “If you don’t get a plough soon your junk is going to dry up and wither like a worm on hot concrete, so use it or lose it.”

No, I don’t think this is smart.

No, I don’t think this is funny.

Yes, I do think these words are misogynist, unacceptable, sexist, transphobic, discriminatory and demeaning. With

domestic violence at the centre of debate in Australia, and mainly women and children being killed in DV by partners and ex-partners, in my opinion the writer of this star sign column and indeed the editors of The Beast are colluding in the strategies of power and sense of entitlement and prejudice that can create unsafe and indeed sometimes life-threatening environments for family violence and violence in general.

I did not read the September issue of The Beast, but note that in this October issue, in the ‘Monthly Mailbag’ section, a letter titled ‘Disgraceful Star Signs’ states, “The language used is really inappropriate and the reference to racism unacceptable”.

I consider the publication of this column by The Beast (in the current October edition) to be totally unacceptable and offensive, and I would hope that advertisers who are currently advertising in The Beast may reconsider their client relationship with this publication.

Meredith Clark, Coogee

Yes, I do think these words are misogynist, unacceptable, sexist, transphobic, discriminatory and demeaning.

NOT SO DISGRACEFUL STAR SIGNS Danielle, who claimed last month that The Beast’s star signs are disgraceful (Letters, October 2015), please let in a little sense of humour. Too much of life is bogged down with all sorts of serious issues. Let there be room for a little naughtiness and a good guffaw.

Pancho, Coogee BEARDY FROM HELL RULES Love it… the best astrology column ever!

Chaya, Bondi Junction

GET YOUR WEST FACTS RIGHT, PEARL Oh dear Pearl, anyone with any familiarity with the Penrith area would know that the selfdeprecating term is 'the Riff', not 'the Rith'. We enjoy Pearl's musings about the foibles of the Eastern Suburbs. Her most recent column was no exception.

What a pity that she couldn't help but make some derogatory anti-Westie references regarding drug crime. The statistics readily available on the Internet regarding drug offence incidents in the 12 months to June 2015 are interesting. The offence rate per 100,000 population in the Penrith LGA was 722.7 (with a state average of 742.5). The Waverley LGA excelled with 1196.9!

It would seem it is a bit too late for Pearl to advise, "Darlings, leave the drug dealing to the people of the Western Suburbs”. This sort of condescending elitist inference is simply nasty. Those of us who have and still do work and live in the west as well as the east find the idea that one part of Sydney, and by inference its inhabitants, is somehow 'better' than the other, misguided and foolish.

Peter and Colleen Johnson, Bondi

The offence rate per 100,000 population in the Penrith LGA was 722.7 (with a state average of 742.5).

The Waverley LGA excelled with 1196.9!

TURF OUT THE CARP Dear Beast, Against all odds or goodhearted comments, I personally believe that the carp is not a fish to be kept anywhere in the Australian lakes, ponds or river systems. It is an introduced species from Europe where the running rivers, icy temperatures

14 The Beast | November 2015

in winter and the hot weather in summer naturally control the carp population.

It is a bottom feeder for weed roots, good algae drop-offs, and uses its shaped mouth to stir up the bottom of the lakes and river beds for molecular food.

The sediments created in our waterways are naturally settled.

It is a good fertiliser, but not a fish to keep or eat. The carp destroys our native fish eggs, because its snout churns up river and lake beds where these eggs are laid. Wherever they are they cause dire consequences for the native fish.

So if anybody wants to fish for carp in Centennial Park, good on them. The less there are the better for our native fish and for the natural ground sediment. We have swans and eels, western swamp chicks, geese, pelicans and many other water birds that can take care of our environment without the carp.

I would get rid of them nationally the sooner the better.

They have very muddy meat and very fine fish bones.

Thomas Sinclair, Bondi Junction RANDWICK LOSING OUT TO WAVERLEY COUNCIL Dear ratepayers of Randwick, You might want to consider what you are getting yourselves into with this current Waverley/ Randwick Council amalgamation push. Just one example: consider the proposed underground car park at Bondi Beach currently being championed

by Waverley’s Liberal dominated council. Comprehensively rejected by the community in Waverley Council’s most recent resident survey, this wacky project aims to replace the current car park with another car park, only with 135 fewer parking spaces, with reduced user amenity and at an extravagant cost.

Don’t presume that you guys will automatically be eligible for an annual beach pass, either. If this strikes you as being a bad deal for Randwick residents, you’re not alone. We’re not happy about it here either. You may also

want to look into why Woollahra’s Liberal council doesn’t want to know about Waverley’s Liberal council, and is fighting tooth and nail to avoid being amalgamated with it. Think long and hard before you allow your council’s resources to be plundered to pay for ‘boutique’ Waverley white elephant projects that will have no benefit for Randwick ratepayers.

Andrew Worssam, No Underground Car Park for Bondi Beach

Think long and hard before you allow your council’s resources to be plundered to pay for ‘boutique’ Waverley white elephant projects that will have no benefit for Randwick ratepayers.

SHUT UP ON A SUNDAY MORNING, COUNCIL They’ve let them do it again!

Once more, Randwick Council has allowed the use of a public address system on Coogee Beach at 8.30am on a Sunday morning. Once again, over 14,000 residents were disturbed, woken, angered, and their ‘peace and amenity’ deprived, just so about 200 people can play beach soccer. When will they realise that the compact size and amphitheatre geography of Coogee (as opposed to Bondi or Maroubra) produces this at least 70:1 ratio of those who don’t want to hear three hours of inane, nasal shouting into a microphone, to those who do?

I would consider someone repeatedly shouting at me through every room in my house a case of ‘common assault’, but it’s no good calling the police because it was them behind the microphone on Sunday, September 27!

Peter, Coogee

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THE ARCHIBALD WINE PROJECT I was re-reading September's issue just this morning and noticed Alex Russell's article regarding Chapel Hill. I grew up in the McLaren Vale region and have family there. I was delighted to see the old Chapel Hill photo, depicting some friends of mine. I'd guess it was taken five years ago. The bloke standing third from left is Michael 'Mick' Craven, and the bird on the stool in front of him is now his wife, Jeanine. They now live in South Africa, where she is from, and both are winemakers. The bloke fourth from right, standing and wearing the white t-shirt, is Todd Baldwin. Last I heard, Todd was living in the Northern Rivers region of NSW, I think working for the NSW Business Chamber. They will enjoy seeing their mug in the Eastern Suburbs publication I'm sure!

In 2008, I was working as a cellar hand around the corner at d'Arenberg. I was living on McMurtrie Road at my old man's place at Hugh Hamilton Wines. I recall the Wirra Wirra incident well. Throughout the vintage, their tall standing fermenters were clearly visible.

You could see them at night as well, because the night shift staff were working and had all the lights on. It was obviously a different vista the day after the incident, and the winery looked half the size. That was because these fermenters were standing prominently high on a rise.

Jock Hamilton THE ATO IS ABOVE GOVERNANCE A letter in The Beast (Letters, October 2015) underscores just how flaccid and inappropriate our elected representatives are.

It is unsurprising that no-one answers the phones at Treasury (or any other ministerial office) on a Sunday, but that is not the crux of the problem. It is unsurprising that certain sectors of the community, especially the senior bureaucrats (‘public servants’), feel that they are Teflon coated. Because they are.

16 The Beast | November 2015

I have made representations to the Treasurer, the Assistant Treasurer, the Prime Minister, the Attorney General, virtually all of the senators and other House of Reps MPs. I have submitted to parliamentary committees, and regardless of whether I speak to the pollies' minions (strictly on weekdays and strictly during business hours) or whether I submit letters (and not always rely upon emails), virtually none of these people reply to me. I have issues with the way that the public service agency known as ‘the ATO’ acts illegally, with misfeasance and with conscious maladministration.

I have issues with the way that the public service agency known as ‘the ATO’ acts illegally, with misfeasance and with conscious maladministration.

‘If ’ any of these elected representatives do reply to me, they say that ‘the ATO’ has told them that they have done no wrong, ‘thank you’ for your letter and there is ‘nothing more we can do’. According to my understanding, the government runs the ATO, not the other way around. The ATO is above governance, and no politician will interfere with its activities.

Many innocent people commit suicide (I know of three) after being bullied, harassed and threatened by the ATO, let alone having money and property seized when the taxpayer did not owe the amounts claimed.

Some feel that they cannot face their families any more. The government is presently spending a bucket load of your money to ‘raise awareness’ of suicide, but does nothing to stop people being so aggrieved by the government's wrongful and bullying actions that they feel that suicide

is the only relief. Nor do they implement proper and affordable treatment strategies. Apparently one in five Australians suffers from a mental injury. It costs the economy billions per year. Are any politicians willing to fix this?

Between just two colleagues, 120 people are out of work after the ATO shut them down. No tax was owed by these colleagues.

My local member, Malcolm, states publicly that his “electoral office door is open to any constituents who have federal issues" (like these above). Yes, during business hours (but not on weekends), you can indeed enter the Edgecliff chambers, but this is very different from Malcolm meeting you to discuss these issues. I have tried for over five years. No meeting.

I do not have an issue with legitimate taxation, but I do have issues with the ATO, which is now bankrupting about 500 businesses a month – double the amount from the previous year.

I'm reading in the media that the threshold for wind-ups has been lowered from $600,000 to $30,000. Last month, when parliament asked Chris Jordan what the threshold was, he replied, "I don't know”. Whilst it may be that these businesses are already in trouble, for every wind up another four businesses are affected. The government should be assisting, not decimating.

Should you contemplate any action to challenge the illegality, the misfeasance, the bullying or the conscious maladministration, the ATO's barristers will tell you that as the ATO ‘has no duty of care’ to any taxpayer, ‘you cannot win’ such a challenge. There are no ‘taxpayer's rights’ in Australia, and the word ‘rights’ in the Taxpayer's Charter has no legal ramifications. Any submissions for compensation are solely assessed by the ATO, and it has no obligation to pay you anything, no matter how wrong it is or how much it has cost you. It is up to its ‘discretionary’ powers.

You cannot take the ATO to court for any illegal actions; this must be done by the federal

police et al. In the last few years, the ATO has spent about $106 million per annum on ‘legal fees’ (the highest spending government agency) and the bulk goes to pay private lawyers.

Should you choose to take the ATO to court over your matters, it will ‘vigorously oppose’ such actions, and it has no apparent limit on how much public money it spends on its legal cases, and it will take the matter to the High Court to continue the bullying, yet it has not won a case there since 2008. The ATO spends your money ‘because it can’, and no politician will interfere. Chris Jordan told Ray Hadley recently that he tells his daughters to "stand up" to bullying, and he says that the "tax office will not be bullied”.

If I live to 80, I have spent one tenth of my life attempting to gain justice from these public servants (and from the politicians, our elected representatives).

The ATO is meant to be a Model Litigant that does not take advantage of weakened claimants (bullying and much worse), but it does so with impunity, regularly, and the Attorney General says ‘go tell the ATO’ if you have a problem with that.

Not only does the ATO fracture innocent taxpayers, and decimate families and businesses, but internally it is in disarray with bullying, mobbing, sending whistle-blowers off for ‘psychiatric assessments’, and even anti-Semitism. It issues ‘deeds’ of silence to ensure that any settlement with a taxpayer cannot be made public, so the issues are kept secret.

The ATO's internet portals are a disgrace. ‘Try again next month’. Did you need a refund to pay an urgent debt? So what!

18 The Beast | November 2015

You owe tax to the ATO? You pay interest and penalties even if you are a day overdue. Has the ATO acted improperly towards you, or illegally charged you money? Taken your property?

Well, any compensation is purely ‘discretionary’, let alone no ‘penalties and interest’ paid to you for its wrongdoing.

What about your self managed super fund? The ATO acted outside of its role (as regulator) and wrongfully destroyed a colleague's super fund when no tax was owed, then published misinformation about the case to cover up its wrongdoing.

The government appears to be unconcerned, so the ATO can act illegally, and your super fund assets can simply vanish. Teflon coated indeed.

If you are the wronged party, you pay for the legal challenges, using as much money and time as it takes you, whilst the ATO staff (public servants) responsible for your detriment are salaried, promoted and superannuated (via public, taxpayer moneys) for their actions, and the lawyers they engage are also paid handsomely for their efforts.

In trying to gain compensation for my matters, the ATO has so far spent over $600,000 on ‘legal fees’ (public money) and to date, I have received $0, although it admits to its ‘defective administration’ and making tax overcharges in excess of $400,000 (I was owed a refund, and not liable for the tax, or for the GST that they charged). My case is now eight years long. If I live to 80, I have spent one tenth of my life attempting to gain justice from these public servants (and from the politicians, our elected representatives).

Not a single one of them is ‘out of pocket’, and their insurer, ‘Comcover’, is paid premiums from the public purse.

The ATO admitted to the Senate in 2013 that its staff aspiration is, "Objections to our SM&E audit and interpretation positions are successfully upheld in favour of the taxpayer, in part, or full, in less than 20 per-

cent of cases" (this, of course, can be regardless of merit, facts, or the correct tax laws). I quote further from the ATO document: "Mainly to ensure that disputes are resolved as close to the original decision as possible, or even before the decision is made”. So, you were right, but you fell into the 80 percent ‘fail’ basket. You wanted to have your matter actually assessed? Well, no, the ATO may stick with the original wrongful decision without actually reviewing it.

I asked Second Commissioner Andrew Mills about this staff directive, but he replied that he was not aware of it. The Deputy Inspector General of Taxation tells me that he would personally not start a company in Australia because of "red tape and the ATO”.

Australia, I suggest that you ‘do not have a go’. Your taxes at work, folks, and no politician will touch the ATO, let alone on a Sunday.

Gary Kurzer, Bondi

The Beast Publisher The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies of The Beast are distributed every month.

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Local Bloke... Rich Coombes From Rose Bay Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

R

ose Bay local Rich Coombes co-founded Batlow Cider and Will & Co Coffee with his brother Sam, and loves to hit the waves at Bondi for a morning paddle. Rich shares his local favourites with The Beast…

How long have you lived here?

I've been in Rose Bay for a year.

Previously I was living in Bondi for seven years, so I know my way around the area pretty well.

What's your favourite beach?

Locally, Bondi mornings are hard to beat for a paddle or a swim. On the coast, Whites Beach just outside Byron is amazing.

What's your favourite eatery?

I’m a massive fan of Porch and Cali Press for brekky, The Hill, Bondi Tony's Burger Joint and Da Orazio for dinner, and Bondi’s Best serves up some of the tastiest sushi I've ever had.

20 The Beast | November 2015

Where do you like to have a drink? Bondi Hardware is my local, which is next door to the office, and it’s owned and operated by great people. They’ve done an amazing job with every element… you can’t go wrong.

The Beachie or Bucket for a gig or arvo session are winners too.

What do you do for work? My brother and I co-founded Batlow Cider, in partnership with the Batlow apple growers, and Will & Co Coffee. I spend most of my time running Batlow Cider, which we distribute nationally and also export.

What music are you into at the moment? I’m digging Tame Impala and Ratatat’s latest albums.

What's your favourite thing about work? I work with a bunch of legends, and a few of whom I have known since I was a kid. People make any business. I am very lucky to be surrounded by genuinely awesome people.

Who is your favourite person? My mum. I also really admire Mick Fanning and Richard Branson.

Do you have a favourite quote?

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor” - Anonymous.

What do you get up to on the weekends? Surf, yoga, farmers markets, arvo cider sessions, road trips and music festivals.

I travel a fair bit interstate for work events too.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Keep the beaches clean. Also, swing by Kemenys or most of the other bottle shops in the east and grab yourself a Batlow Cider, or four!

Do you have a favourite sporting team? Go the Swannies! I’m a big fan of the AFL.

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Local Chick... Debra Maynard From Coogee Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

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oogee local Debra Maynard helps talented refugee artisans from the Thai-Burma border create and sell textile fashion accessories and homewares in Australia. Debra shares her local favourites with The Beast…

How long have you lived here?

I feel fortunate to have lived in Coogee since 2002.

What's your favourite beach?

Coogee is great for swimming and kayaking, and Tamarama for its stunning good looks.

What's your favourite eatery?

It’s hard to beat Chat Thai for authentic dishes at reasonable prices. I also like The Little Kitchen for its affordable good cooking and friendly vibe.

Where do you like to have a drink? There’s no better place to enjoy a glass of sparkling wine than under a shady tree overlooking Coogee Beach.

22 The Beast | November 2015

Do you have a favourite sporting team? No, but I admire the Coogee Coconuts, who get together for a swim most mornings in all kinds of weather.

They have a great attitude.

What music are you into at the moment? Talented local musicians, such as my friend Tina Delandre who is a beautiful jazz singer. She also lives in Coogee.

Who is your favourite person?

Right now I admire two friends and my sister-in-law Annie for their extraordinary courage and resilience in living with cancer.

What do you get up to on the weekends? When you live at the beach, weekends are often about enjoying the outdoors. Wylie’s Baths is great for a coffee and a massage, as well as a swim.

What do you do for work? I’m a media and communications consultant for community and not-

for-profit organisations, but I also volunteer with a social enterprise called WEFTshop. We help talented refugee artisans from the Thai-Burma border create and sell textile fashion accessories and homewares in Australia, which will be showcased to the local community at KincoppalRose Bay’s upcoming Spring Fair on Sunday, November 8.

What's your favourite thing about work? Helping community organisations tell their stories.

Do you have a favourite quote?

Dream the dreams that have never been dreamt.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? If you love the idea of ethical gifts but don’t know where to find them, come to WEFTshop’s pop-up shop at the Kincoppal Rose Bay School Spring Fair on Sunday, November 8. Every purchase supports an artisan and makes a difference!

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Curt Age 4 years Sex Male Breed Shih Tzu x

Weight 6.9kg

Rest in peace Sam.

Thumbs Up SAM DE BRITO – Bondi lost one of its best on October 12. His writing may have polarised, but he always said it as he saw it. Rest in peace buddy.

MOUSTACHIOED MEN – Not only do moustaches look ridiculously masculine and cool, they can also save lives. Visit www.movember.com.au.

WATER ON MARS – At least we now have a back up plan for when we completely f**k up our wonderful planet and need something to drink.

BONDI SPLASH N’ DASH – Get down to Bondi Beach on November 21 for a fun day of aquatic frivolity. Visit www.bondisplashndash.com.au.

SOFTBOARDS – The water's getting warmer and more crowded and the flags are up, so dust off your foamie and fire up for summer!

Curt is a sweet, sooky little boy. He will walk on loose lead if encouraged, but he’d much rather run free. He is social with other dogs and is happy to be cuddled by strangers, even slightly creepy looking ones. He has a non-shedding coat and weighs 6.9kg. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $350. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com to check out over 200 other dogs up for adoption.

Chuck Age 4 years Sex Male Breed Jack Russell x

Weight 10.1kg

Chuck is a gentle boy. He is affectionate and cuddly and loves to zoom around the park. He is very friendly towards other dogs. He is quiet and calm in the house, but loves to put his paws up on the kitchen bench. He has a short coat and weighs 10.1kg. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $350. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com to check out over 200 other dogs up for adoption.

Thumbs Down BODY ODOUR – With the warm weather comes the pungent scent of unwashed human.

Buy some decent deodorant you filthy animls!

MAN BUNS – We now have scientific proof that this hair styling phenomenon not only makes you look like a dick, it also contributes to baldness.

RENT HIKES – Property owners are having an absolute field day right now, despite the fact that their interest rates have never been lower.

THE RETURN LEG – Destination weddings and buck’s/hen’s parties are always great fun, but the return trip is nothing short of torture.

NOISY NEIGHBOURS – There comes a point where you’re allowed to pop next door with a loaded shotty and empty it into your neigbours.

24 The Beast | November 2015

Chloe Age 2 years Sex Female Breed Papillon x

Weight 5.6kg

Chloe is a gentle, timid girl who needs someone with patience to bring her out of her shell and build her confidence. Chloe is not comfortable around children, but she is unlikely to eat them, even when hungry. She has a long coat and weighs 5.6kg. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $400. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com to check out over 200 other dogs up for adoption.

Congratulations Noel.

Mayors Elected Ahead Of Rocky Year Words Marcus Braid Picture Randwick City Council

T

he mayors of the Eastern Beaches councils have been elected for the coming year as debate continues over the appropriate method for deciding on a leader.

Waverley Mayor Sally Betts was returned as mayor of Waverley Council for a seventh term in September in a seven to four victory, and Tony Kay was returned as deputy mayor for his third term.

Cr Betts’ first three years of mayoralty were the result of her name being drawn out of a hat after there was an even split on Council. While Waverley now has a Liberal majority, the electoral method has led to conjecture; a directly elected mayor, decided by the populous, would settle the issue.

26 The Beast | November 2015

“It’s better to actually be elected in my own right,” Cr Betts said. “I don’t know what the answer is. You’ve really got to make sure that we don’t have even number councillors. It happens all over NSW. “The important thing is that you can do long-term strategic planning. If you don’t know who your mayor is going to be in a year, it’s really impossible to do long-term planning.”

The potential council amalgamation looms large over the respective local councils, with IPART performing the role of an expert advisory panel to assess how council proposals meet the Fit for the Future criteria.

Waverley Labor Councillor Ingrid Strewe said the rumours

about amalgamation were flying thick and fast out of state parliament.

“I’ve heard that they are going to sack all of Council before Christmas so that they can do the amalgamations,” she said.

“I think that’s why they elected Sally as mayor, because she sees herself as the mayor of the amalgamated council.

“There’s no way she would have stood down anyway. The rumour from parliament is that they’re going to sack us all. I don’t know if that’s true or not.”

Cr Strewe said the current mayoral election system was the correct method.

“I think that on a whole the mayor should be elected by the councillors, just as the prime minister is elected by whichever team gets the numbers,” she said.

Randwick Council elected Matraville chemist and Labor Councillor Noel D’Souza mayor on September 29, with Labor Councillor Greg Moore elected deputy mayor.

Randwick Council is adhering to an agreement reached after the local government elections in 2012, in which the mayoralty will be alternated every 12 months. Liberal Councillor Ted Seng finished up his term as mayor prior to Cr D’Souza’s inception.

“No system is perfect,” Randwick Labor Councillor Tony Bowen said. “Any organisation needs turnover and new people to come in to stay fresh.

“That’s a drawback of a direct election, but a positive is that you do have an executive control over the council, whereas if you’re changing mayors every 12 months, the council tends not to fall into the hands of one group or one individual.

I think the direct election of mayor is something that Randwick should look at.”

Toni Zeltzer was re-elected as Woollahra Mayor and will continue her post, with Susan Wynne elected as deputy.

How long should council mayors be allowed to serve in the top job?

Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Carl, Coogee

Longer would make more sense. The longer they spend in that area as mayor, the more of an understanding they’d build up of what the place needs.

Sarah, Coogee

I think you need more than one year. Imagine being in any job for just one year. Four years would be good.

Harry, Coogee

Lea, Maroubra

I’d say five years max, and turnover is good. The less the better, and it would give them a chance to put some policies down.

I don’t know enough about the politics here, but I think enough time to do something but not for too long.

John, Bondi

You would have to have a vote with the constituents to decide.

It should be no longer than four years. Have things been getting fixed? Are these people informed on what’s really going down on the street?

Julie, Centennial Park

Not that I really care, but maybe two years? I suppose you’ve got to give them time to do something, but not too long that they get stuck there.

November 2015 | The Beast 27

Fly Like Paper, Get High Like Planes Words Marcus Braid

M

ost of us enjoyed making paper planes and throwing them around classrooms when we were at school, and South Coogee Public School is taking things one step further.

The school will host its biennial fiesta on Saturday, November 14, which will feature a celebrity paper plane race for the first time, after being inspired by the film ‘Paper Planes’.

One of the local celebrities making her paper plane-throwing debut will be ironwoman and former cover star of The Beast, Tara Coleman.

“What’s not to love about paper planes?” Ms Coleman said. “I saw the movie Paper Planes earlier this year and was so inspired. I am already working on my signature plane for the big event.”

The fiesta from 10am-4pm will be jam-packed with fun for the whole family. There will be rides, a petting zoo, face painting, cookie decorating, plaster painting and the spooky 'haunted hallway', among other attractions.

There will also be plenty of tasty food stands and market stalls where you can pick up hand-made candles and jewellery, plants, pre-loved books and show bags.

Ms Coleman will be pitting her paper plane skills against other local sports stars, politicians and representatives from the emergency services.

Non-celebrities will also be able to join in the paper plane fun with age-group races being run at regular intervals during the day.

There are some fantastic prizes up for grabs, so aspiring paper pilots should get their thinking caps on to come up with a winning design.

28 The Beast | November 2015

I want to eat you.

Shark Deterrents Or Detection?

Words Marcus Braid Picture Greg Norman

S

potters, detection buoys and drum lines with GPS could be trialled on local beaches this summer to help reduce the risk of shark attacks, but some people are cautious over the value of the new measures.

Premier Mike Baird, who spoke at an international shark summit in September, has signalled his intention to find ways to protect beachgoers while being mindful of how marine life is affected by netting.

Waverley Councillor Dominic Wy Kanak said that protecting beachgoers is paramount, but preserving protected shark species is also important.

“Shark detection technologies should be used in recognition of the bigger picture of climate change, ocean warming and industrial overfishing,” he said.

“They both affect the traditional food source and predatory territory of contemporary shark species, so they now roam wider.

“A motion I put to Waverley Council a few months ago covered discussions by Waverley Lifeguards proposing the use of drone cameras and satellite linked sonar detection technology.”

However, local big wave surfer Mark Mathews cautioned

that “detection is one thing, but deterrent is another”.

“I honestly don’t think I want to know how often sharks swim around when I’m surfing,” he said. “People know too much now about how many sharks are around, whereas they were probably there before, you just didn’t see so much of them.

“I’m interested in deterrents, but it’s then about what sort of negative effects those deterrents are going to have on the ecosystem.”

The technologies include dead shark scent in a can, electrical and magnetic barriers, and camouflage wetsuits.

The trials could take place at beaches from Bronte to Byron Bay. There have been 13 shark attacks in NSW this year, including one fatality, which is up from three in 2014.

“I wonder if it could be seasonal or cyclical, with what’s happening,” Mr Mathews said.

“It might be a cycle of where small fish or jellyfish go in close, and next year they might be out further in the ocean and you’ll see less attacks. I’m sure there are way more surfers in the water than there used to be, too.”

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Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches...

Words Marcus Braid Picture Claire Favre - @miss_barra

GREEN LIVING FOR NATIONAL RECYCLING WEEK National Recycling Week (NRW) is fast approaching (November 9-15), and living more sustainably is on the rise, particularly in the Eastern Suburbs. Aussies are looking to live greener lifestyles and exercise their green thumbs. NRW is a timely reminder for Australians to take a look at their food waste habits and look at how they can start to reduce it. Throughout NRW, there are councils and community groups across Australia hosting workshops on composting and worm farming. Visit www.recyclingweek.planetark.org.

APPLICATIONS OPEN FOR WAR MEMORIAL GRANTS Coogee MP Bruce Notley-Smith and Vaucluse MP Gabrielle Upton have encouraged veteran groups, community organisations and councils to apply for grants of up to $10,000 to protect war memorials. The NSW Community War Memorials Fund was established to help repair, conserve and restore war memorials across the state.

Another day dawns.

Grants are offered twice a year and applications for round one close on Remembrance Day November 11, 2015. All submissions are assessed by the State War Memorials Committee. For more information, including application forms, please visit www.veterans.nsw.gov.au/community-war-memorials-fund.

JUST LIKE MUMMAS Just Like Mummas offer a variety of delicious authentic foods, which are great for any occasion. All the suppliers are 100 percent Australian owned, and they specialise in bringing you authentic, handmade Middle Eastern dishes and fresh handmade pasta products to enjoy in the comfort of your own home. The chefs have followed the same recipes for many years, and only use the freshest of ingredients. Jump online and download the full menu at www.justlikemummas.com.au.

LIFEGUARDS PREPARE FOR HOT AND BUSY SUMMER Local lifeguards are getting ready for a hot and busy summer. The

16 fulltime and seasonal professional lifeguards employed

by Randwick City Council completed intensive and rigorous training at Maroubra Beach during the off-season to prepare for the busy time ahead. You can get daily beach condition reports from Randwick Council’s lifeguards through the myRandwick app, available for Android and iPhone, and on Council’s website at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

THUMBS UP FOR CLEAN BEACHES In positive news ahead of a long summer spent in the water, Randwick City’s ten beaches have received the thumbs up for water cleanliness from the NSW Government’s ‘State of the Beaches’ program. The results are compiled from regular samples taken throughout the year, using National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines. Both Malabar Beach and the South Maroubra rock pool were rated good, with Clovelly Beach, Maroubra Beach and Congwong Beach given the top very good rating. Visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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High Cross Park survives.

High Cross Park Common Sense Prevails Words Marcus Braid Picture Randwick City Council

B

uses have stopped running along George Street and construction has begun for the South East Light Rail network, but High Cross Park in Randwick is no longer a part of the plan.

After concerted lobbying from Randwick Council and its constituents, Transport Minister Andrew Constance announced the relocation of the proposed Randwick light rail terminal from High Cross Park to a new High Street plaza.

The decision effectively saves High Cross Park and creates a light rail stop closer to the Prince of Wales Hospital and Sydney Children’s Hospital.

“This is an excellent decision by the NSW Government and they are to be commended,” former Randwick Mayor Ted

32 The Beast | November 2015

Seng said.

“Importantly, the change provides an opportunity to create a new public transport and pedestrian plaza at the intersection of High, Avoca and Belmore Streets, integrated with the Randwick town centre.”

The amendment to the NSW Government’s $2.1 billion CBD and South East Light Rail project will protect High Cross Park and its ninety-year-old war memorial, save trees, reduce parking loss and reduce construction costs.

Randwick Labor Councillor Tony Bowen said the call to save High Cross Park was unquestionably a good decision, but more work needs to be done.

“It’s a good decision, but it should have never got to this point,” he said. “We’ve been

advocating from day one that it should not have gone through that historic park.

“It doesn’t resolve some major problems with the proposal in Randwick, because all traffic from east to west will have to go down Barker Street, which is a tiny little street that’s already choked.

“It’s going to become even more choked now that the state government has approved the rezoning of the Inglis (Stables) site.”

The Prince of Wales Hospital and Sydney Children’s Hospital – both in the heart of Randwick’s town centre – are expected to experience effects owing to the construction work that has now kicked off.

“The medical fraternity has some very deep misgivings about light rail in High Street, and affecting traffic flow there,” Cr Bowen said. “While it’s good that the park is saved, there’s a lot more that needs to be done to get it fixed for Randwick.

“The hospital has a huge number of people coming and going every day, so to move the stop closer to the hospital is a good thing. But we’ve also got to think about our residents who want to get around the city, and of course our residents are going to use light rail.

“I’ve always advocated that there needed to be a broader examination of where it would come to terminate at Randwick.”

Buses stopped running along George Street for the first time since 1867 on October 3, as bus travel makes way for the twelvekilometre light rail line, which is expected to be completed by April 2018.

“I hope they have done their homework on this, but I’ve got to tell you I’m concerned because it is a huge project,” Cr Bowen said. “We’ve already seen that bus services have been cut from the south-eastern part of Randwick. I think we’ll know more in a few days.”

Heavy photo.

Charity Dash Back With A Splash Words Kate Myers Picture Damian Shaw - www.damianshaw.com

O

n Saturday, November 21, hundreds of competitors will descend upon Bondi Beach to compete in the second annual Bondi Splash N’ Dash, raising money for Waverley Action for Youth Services (WAYS).

The brainchild of local lifeguard and Bondi Rescue star Andrew ‘Reidy’ Reid, the Splash N’ Dash is back this year, bigger and better than before, with a goal to raise $10,000 for WAYS, and get the community involved in the process.

“I just want to give everyone an opportunity to be fit and healthy,” Reidy said. “We deal with a lot of mental illness on the beach, and I’m a strong believer that exercise fights that.”

The cause is one that is close to Reidy’s heart.

34 The Beast | November 2015

“I was heavily involved with them (WAYS) as a teenager. The $10,000 will help the school they run and give the kids the chance to grow and become better people.”

While the day attracts elite athletes from all over the country, Reidy stressed that it will be accessible to all skill levels, with its run/swim/run format setting it apart from the competitive environment of other ocean swims.

“Races like the Duck Dash for Cash give everyone a chance to get involved,” he said.

Today Show regular Tim Gilbert is one competitor with his sights set on a win.

“He has made this his goal race,” Reidy said, “He wants to win the Duck Dash for Cash.”

Having lost an impressive 30kg while shaping up to compete in the event, Gilbert will be under extra pressure to succeed, with the Today Show crossing live to the event throughout the morning.

“Even if you don’t want to compete, come down, enjoy the sausage sizzle in support of WAYS, and you’ll have the chance to get your face on television,” Reidy said.

Fellow Today Show presenter Sylvia Jeffreys is rumoured to be taking Gilbert on in the Duck Dash for Cash, and triathlete Courtney Atkinson is set to return again this year for the main race.

For those unsure about competing, free training sessions have been organised courtesy of Bondi Fit, with the final session to be held on November 7.

Former elite triathlete and surf swimming doyen Spot Anderson will run the sessions, with Reidy’s assistance.

“We take them through what is involved in the event, and give them more confidence to compete,” he said. “Everyone’s welcome to come and see what it is all about.”

Reidy’s determination to give back to the competitors is topped off by the unique trophies that he has created for the event’s winners featuring iconic images of North Bondi courtesy of Anthony Glick from Glick Photography.

Following the Splash N’ Dash, an after party at the North Bondi RSL is the perfect chance for competitors to celebrate their achievements and for everyone to get together whilst making a further contribution to WAYS. For Reidy, it’ll be the perfect end to a fun-filled day.

“I want to create a really great experience,” he said. “If I can give back and raise some money for these kids along the way, then I’ve done my job.”

To register for the Bondi Splash N’ Dash, please visit www.bondisplashndash.com.au.

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More Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches...

Words Marcus Braid Picture Rosie English - @rosiebondi

COOGEE COMMUNITY CENTRE UPGRADE Former Randwick Mayor Ted Seng recently re-opened the Coogee Eastward Senior Citizens Hall after an extensive redesign and upgrade. The hall, located in Brook Street next to Coogee Oval, has been fully renovated during the past six months as part of Council’s Building For Our Community development program. The renovations, costing $1.2 million, include a new roof, new kitchen facilities, disability access ramp and accessible terraces with stunning views across the sports oval and park. The premises provide a flexible hall space for community activities for up to 60 people.

For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

HANDMADE FOR YOUR CHILD MaHero stands for ‘handmade with love’, and every piece made is unique for your child. Local mother Sandra Heinig has loved sewing since her mum started teaching her when she about 12 years old. Sandra has been a Bondi local for some years now,

Bronte to Ben Buckler.

and her fabrics are designer jerseys and cottons from Sweden, Germany and Australia, combining fashion with comfort for your little one. Please visit www.mahero-sydney.com.

KINCOPPAL SPRING FAIR Kincoppal-Rose Bay’s Spring Fair takes place on Sunday, November 8 from 10am-4pm, and will be packed choc-a-block full of fantastic things to do, see, taste and hear. There’ll be Sideshow Alley (a fun park with amusement rides for the kids), a great line up of live entertainment, more than 100 market stalls with the best in clothes, gourmet food, books and music, great coffee, a wine auction, and much, much more. The fair will be held at Fernon Family Fields on Vaucluse Road in Rose Bay. Visit www.krb.nsw.edu.au.

FUNDING PACKAGE TO REDUCE KERBSIDE DUMPING The state government has announced a package of measures to help reduce the levels of illegal dumping across Sydney. In the first package, a new 14-council

Regional Illegal Dumping squad dedicated to stamping out illegal dumping across Sydney is now in operation, thanks to an additional $1.7 million in funding. The new super squad, which includes Randwick, Waverley and Botany Bay Councils, will combine the resources of the councils to target illegal dumpers across Sydney through dedicated patrols, investigations and clean-ups.

BOOK A MARKET STALL Have you done a spring clean?

Why not make some cash from your clean out? Waverley Markets is taking early-bird market stall bookings now, so you should book before prices go up or places sell out. Stalls will be offering new and second-hand items, plus there'll be good coffee, a fabulous old school cake stall and the everpopular sausage sizzle. For the kids there’ll be a bouncy castle, face painting, giant Lego and live entertainment. Waverley Markets will be held on November 21 from 9am-1pm at Waverley Primary School, 155 Bronte Road, Waverley. Visit www.facebook. com/waverleymarkets.

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November 2015 | The Beast 37

Rebecca sharing the knowledge.

It’s Time To Talk About Infertility, Baby Words Sarah Healey Picture Diana Scalfati

I

t seems today, in our competitive world, both young women and men are under an enormous amount of pressure once they hit their twenties. Many expectations loom: tertiary education, finding the ‘perfect’ career then working your way up to where you want to be, finally scraping together just enough money to put a deposit on anything you can afford. And don’t forget to take into account a few years for intermittent travel. It doesn’t leave much room (or cash) for the thought of babies, does it?

By the time most of us consider making room in our lives for screaming bundles of joy and sleepless nights we’re well into our thirties, and for many couples this can pose a problem.

38 The Beast | November 2015

One in six Australian couples experience infertility, which is a staggeringly high figure.

As such, the use of assisted reproductive technology (ART) treatment is on the rise.

Australia’s first IVF baby, Candice Thum, and fellow IVF child and Bondi resident Rebecca Featherstone Jelen have launched Fertility Matters – a national campaign that calls for improved education on fertility issues.

They have set up the website www.ivflings.org with a link to a quick survey for any person who wants to have children to take.

“The campaign is really about getting people to talk about infertility in an informed way,” Ms Featherstone Jelen said. “We believe everyone should have ac-

cess to the correct information about their fertility health so when the time comes to start a family they are fully armed with the best information. We want people to be able to discuss it at the dinner table, with their friends; we want to make it general knowledge.”

Statistically the best time to conceive is in your early 20s.

If a couple has tried and failed to conceive over a one-year period, they may have fertility problems. If you’re over 35 you should seek help if you haven’t fallen pregnant within six months of trying.

It should be noted that infertility isn’t just a female conundrum. After all, it takes two to tango. 40 percent of the time the problem lies with the male partner, 40 percent with the female partner, and for the remaining 20 percent of cases the cause is unknown. The good news is it doesn’t come down to your genes.

“Infertility is not hereditary, which is a common stigma,” Ms Featherstone Jelen said.

“Candice and I have chatted to friends of similar ages and we were a little shocked about how little they knew about IVF, which we thought to be general knowledge. We were the only ones born through IVF in our respective schools; there’s now one IVF child per classroom.

“We want there to be a section [in the curriculum] about how diverse families are these days, because you’ve got kids born through IVF, same sex parents, and it’s important that it’s taught in schools.

“Our next steps include analysing the data from the survey responses and putting together some presentations and recommendations, then ultimately having it taught more widely within the education system.”

You can take the one-minute long survey at www.ivflings.org.

If you have any concerns about your fertility health, have a chat with your GP.

I am honoured to be making my mayoral debut in the page of The Beast, and look forward to speaking with you on a monthly basis over the next year.

To introduce myself, I am the son of a printer who came to Australia from India aged 10. As someone whose Labor values were forged in this great City of ours, I aim to be true to my belief in respect and a fair go.

In representing my fellow residents, I know the next 12 months will be both challenging and exciting, as Randwick City Council strives to meet the needs of our diverse and vibrant community.

We are in a time of great change and my focus looking forward will be on maintaining a high standard of services, on Indigenous issues and on protecting the jobs of staff ahead of the Government’s Fit for the Future amalgamation program.

Of course, as the new Mayor of the City of Randwick I have big shoes to fill – those of my predecessor, Councillor Ted Seng, who has shown great leadership during this term in this role.

I am looking forward to working with Deputy Mayor Greg Moore on the journey in front of us.

The road ahead is long, our climb is steep, but I promise you, we will get there together.

Councillor Noel D’Souza Mayor of Randwick @randwickmayor

4 November

21 November

25 November

The Author Talks: with Peter Fitzsimons 6:30pm-7:30pm Bowen Library, 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra Junction

Permabee Volunteers

White Ribbon Walk

2pm-4:30pm Permaculture Interpretive Garden Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street, Randwick

7:15am-9am High Cross Park, Randwick to Grant Reserve, Coogee Beach

1300 722 542 council@randwick.nsw.gov.au www.randwick.nsw.gov.au PHOTO:BARE ISLAND, LA PEROUSE

Mother Banned From Playground For Interacting With Her Children Words Kieran Blake

A

The storyteller.

Never Too Late For A Career Change Words Marcus Braid Picture Diana Scalfati

A

s a Bondi local for over 40 years, it’s fair to say Lawrence Goodstone is well placed to write a book of short stories based around the area.

But that doesn’t do Mr Goodstone’s story any justice, and his own background makes for interesting reading itself.

“I hitchhiked overland to Australia from the UK in the mid 1960s, which included hitching through Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan, which are places not cool for hitchhiking now,” Mr Goodstone said.

“In those early days I worked as a goldminer and crayfisherman in WA, did a stint as a labourer on the Snowy Mountains Scheme, before taking up my real job as a high school teacher.”

Following a couple of stints in an Israeli kibbutz, Mr Goodstone returned to Australia for a second time with an Australian wife, and went on to play a key role in organising the Sydney Olympic Games as a member of SOCOG. Mr Goodstone’s colourful history has not stopped him pursuing a new career path at the age of 74, recently launching his

40 The Beast | November 2015

first book, ‘What’s In A Name?’.

The book was launched at Ariel Bookshop in Paddington by veteran Australian actor, director and broadcaster Lex Marinos.

“It's a book of 20 short stories, and many of them are set in Bondi and the Eastern Suburbs,” Mr Goodstone said. “They are all character centred and each character is represented in a photo on the cover. Interestingly enough, many of the people who posed for the images are Eastern Suburbs based.”

The book has been taken up by many local independent bookshops in the Eastern Suburbs, including Berkelouw bookstores in Paddington and Rose Bay, Gertrude and Alice in Bondi, and Ariel Bookshop in Paddington. Eight municipal libraries – including Waverley, Woollahra and Randwick – now have it in their collections.

“My wife is a schoolteacher, having taught in many Eastern Suburbs schools, and both my now adult children were raised in Bondi,” Mr Goodstone said.

“There's heaps more I could bore you with but it's been a life well lived. Now retired with time to write, that's where I'm at.”

n Eastern Suburbs mother has been banned from the local playground for interacting with her own children while they were playing.

The woman, known as Helen, was banned by other parents for failing to observe accepted standards of behaviour.

“She was banned because she engaged and interacted – voluntarily, mind you - with her children the entire time she was at the playground,” explained Cindy, another local mother.

“Thus, it was made very clear to her that she and her children are not welcome here until they learn the code.”

The code of which Cindy speaks demands that parents arrive at the park with two accouterments: a mobile phone and a coffee (purchased from an approved vendor), both of which should suffice to occupy the parents gainfully while their children play.

“Helen did not bring a phone, and she would also arrive with a thermos of tea,” Cindy said.

“She did not abide by the code, which everyone here knows – even the children know it. My son Jackson knows that this is Mummy’s time. It’s time for Jackson to play while I read all the parenting apps I’ve downloaded onto my phone,” Cindy said, motioning to a boy pushing a little girl off the swing.

Helen could not be reached for comment as it is believed she was playing hide and seek with her children.

MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Re-elected as Mayor of Waverley I am very honoured to have been re-elected as Waverley Mayor.

Thank you to my team and in particular Councillor Tony Kay, who I should also congratulate on being re-elected as Deputy Mayor.

Sculpture by the Sea – 22 October to 8 November I am excited to see what masterpieces will frame our coastline at this year’s Sculpture by the Sea. If you live in the surrounding streets and are around on the evening of Monday 2 November, please join us for a drink amongst the sculptures in Marks Park. RSVP to suzie.clark@sculpturebysea.com by Wednesday 21 October. As always, thank you to our residents for sharing their streets with so many visitors. Please go to our website waverley.nsw.gov.au for information about road closures in the area.

Our ePlanning Services We are very proud of the electronic planning solutions we now have available. This includes services such as Development Application (DA) tracking and online e-payments. We recently launched a new online tool called Development Enquirer. This will make it easier for residents to get information on the controls that apply to their land.

This tool is the first step in the development process and provides tailored information about your proposed works. Development Enquirer is available on our website eservices.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Sally Betts, Mayor of Waverley CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9369 8000 WEB waverley.nsw.gov.au

Events Bushcare Essentials Training Saturday 24 October, 8.30am–4pm Would you like to help keep our coastal bush beautiful and abundant in life?

This full day training session is for anyone thinking about joining a Waverley bushcare group or for a regular volunteer who wants to brush up on their skills.

To book: email bushcare@ waverley.nsw.gov.au or call 9083 8226.

Dads Read Saturday 21 November, 10–10.30am Waverley Library Stories, songs and movement especially for 0–5 year olds and their male carers.

Dads, granddads, uncles, big brothers and male caregivers/mentors are encouraged to come along.

Mums, grandmums, aunts and sisters also welcome.

Free but booking essential via eventbrite.com.au.

For more event info visit our website waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Connect with us:

Even More Bits & Pieces From Around The Beaches...

Words Marcus Braid Picture Amaury Tréguer - @morningbondi

COOGEE BUS COMMUTERS URGED TO PLAN AHEAD Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith has urged Coogee bus commuters to plan ahead with the new CBD bus network now in operation ahead of construction on the Sydney Light Rail. “Of the 48 bus routes between the east, south-east and the city, 41 will still enter the CBD, but many will no longer enter the core of the CBD,” Mr Notley-Smith said. “Route 378 to and from Bronte Beach will be replaced by a new 440 route, which will go from Bronte to Rozelle via Bondi Junction, Oxford Street, Central Station and Parramatta Road.” Customers can go online and use the trip planner at www.transportnsw. info, or the route finder tool at www.mysydney.nsw.gov.au.

BONDI AUTHOR’S ENTERTAINING MEMOIRS North Bondi's Martin Chimes long dreamed of writing his memoirs, but never found the time. Encouraged by wife Sara, with whom he fell in love over his morning coffee in North Bondi’s Aqua Bar after daily training sessions, he finally put pen to paper and was surprised that the

Shark's eye view.

result read like an action-thriller.

Martin received a devastating diagnosis of mesothelioma with a four to six-month prognosis, but he continues to battle the disease a further two years on.

The memoir, titled ‘Into the Lion’s Den’, is available from all good bookstores or online at www.harlequinbooks.com.au.

BRYONI’S HAIR’S FOUR-WEEK PROJECT North Bondi hair salon Bryoni’s Hair is running an initiative called the ‘Four Week Project’ from the beginning of November. The initiative is based around collecting toys for ill children at the Sydney Childrens’ Hospital and distributing them two weeks out from Christmas.

It’s an important initiative that gives back to the local community. Last year, over 100 toys were delivered to the Sydney Children Hospital. To get involved, call Bryoni’s Hair on 9300 0229.

FUNDING BOOST FOR ST JUDE’S CHILD CARE CENTRE St Jude’s Child Care Centre will receive $12,900 through a NSW Government initiative, the Minister for Early Childhood Education Leslie Williams has

announced. Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith and Minister Williams visited St Jude’s Child Care Centre to discuss the funding, which will help the centre offer a preschool program. The new Long Day Care National Partnership Grants Program is part of an agreement between the NSW and Commonwealth Governments to increase participation in preschool programs for four and five-year-old children in the year before school.

COOGEE LOCAL WINS STUDENT ACHIEVER AWARD Recipients of the 2015 Minister’s Student Achiever Awards in Tourism and Hospitality were honoured recently at a special ceremony held at Parliament House in Sydney. Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith congratulated Taylor Luland and Rebecca Lubgans on their outstanding achievements in Certificate III in Travel at Australian Pacific Travel and Tourism, and Advanced Diploma of Travel and Tourism and Certificate III Tourism (Guiding) at TAFE NSW, while acknowledging the importance of professional training to the tourism industry.

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How to not get bashed.

Big Wave Surfer Backs Maroubra Etiquette Signs Words Marcus Braid Picture Randwick City Council

R

andwick City Council has installed new public information signage along Maroubra Beach to educate wave riders on local surf etiquette, which local big wave expert Mark Mathews says leaves a lot to be desired.

The rising popularity of the Eastern Suburbs beach with inexperienced surfers – especially from overseas – has led to the permanent installation of six “Surfers’ Code” signs.

Mr Mathews, a world big wave champion and Maroubra resident, said the signs were a good idea.

“I saw those signs the other day,” he said. “In Sydney, there are so many people who go in the water who have no idea about surf etiquette. They can get some idea there.”

44 The Beast | November 2015

“If you were going to instil anything, I’d say it’s that beginner surfers should ride soft boards and not fibreglass boards. Soft boards are getting so good that a beginner surfer doesn’t lose anything from riding one, and it’s that much safer than having that many surfers around on fibreglass boards.”

Mr Mathews has been surfing at Maroubra since he was a child, and he said it was frustrating watching beginners make simple etiquette-related mistakes.

“It leaves plenty to be desired,” he said. “There are guys having their first surf and learning how to surf who don’t understand. It’s etiquette, but it’s also making mistakes about where you’re paddling out, and where

you sit in a line-up. There’s a whole lot of stuff that people have got to learn over time.

“I feel like the signs should just say, ‘If you’re a beginner surfer, pick the emptiest spot on the beach rather than the most crowded spot’. You’re going to have a better surf surfing in the most uncrowded spot.”

The signs illustrate basic safety tips and rules to follow in the water, and are located at the busiest points of entry to the beach.

The signs follow the standard guidance of Surfing NSW, providing advice such as keeping outside the flags, not snaking or dropping in on other surfers and staying in control of the board.

“They’re not doing any harm being there and if they stop one person from dropping in one day, that’s good,” Mr Mathews said.

Randwick City Council has taken this initiative in response to a 30 percent increase in surfing activity at the beach over the past three years.

An informal survey carried out by lifeguards found that many inexperienced surfers were unaware of the basic rules of surfing etiquette and of general beach safety.

Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza said the purpose of the surfer’s code signage is to help surfers – particularly less experienced ones and visitors – avoid accidents and conflict in the water.

“We’re hoping these signs will help keep our surf beaches safe and help surfers share the water,” he said.

“Thousands of surfers from across Sydney - and the world - flock to Maroubra Beach, which is Australia’s second only National Surfing Reserve. Anecdotal feedback is that there has been about a 30 percent increase in the number of surfers at this beach.”

Further information about the Surfers’ Code is available at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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You've earned a day off.

Calls For Melbourne Cup To Become A National Holiday Strengthen Words Marcus Braid Picture Robin Loznak

C

ampaigners for making Melbourne Cup Day a national public holiday have labelled the current arrangement of public holidays a “dog’s breakfast”.

Nicholas Reece, Principal Public Policy Fellow at the University of Melbourne, is a long-time advocate for unifying Australia for a day off for the ‘race that stops a nation’. Currently Victoria receives a day off while the rest of Australia does not.

“It’s a chance to get a little bit more harmony amongst Australia’s public holidays,” Mr Reece said.

“The current arrangements are a dog’s breakfast of different days and dates. But if you work through the current state and territory legislation, it would

46 The Beast | November 2015

seem that there is quite a bit of scope to bring in more uniformity to our national public holidays. Melbourne Cup Day should be a part of that.”

Mr Reece called on the public and political leadership to help make it happen, and said that other public holidays could be replaced.

“There are petitions that have started online about this,” he said. “Tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, have signed an online petition about this.

“Some public holidays have been hoisted upon us by our colonial past. Some holidays are completely pointless. The Melbourne Cup is a public holiday that has emerged organically from the Australian people. It is

a unique and Australian event, and it is unique and deserving of a national holiday.”

It is fair to say that productivity across the nation isn’t at an all-time high on Melbourne Cup Day, which is a reason to make the day a national public holiday that speaks for itself, according to Mr Reece.

“Even in states that don’t publicly recognise the Melbourne Cup public holiday, work productivity is abysmal on the day,” he said. “Why not just make it official and declare it a national public holiday?

“The event brings Australians together in a social way that no other secular public holiday does.

“Melbourne Cup Day is not a day of significance that has been manufactured by government, such as a bank holiday or even Australia Day. “Its status comes from its grassroots popularity with the Australian people; a position it has held for most of its 155-year history. In a nation that is as young as ours, it has a tradition that is unrivalled.”

The Australian Turf Club (ATC) is in favour of making Melbourne Cup Day a national public holiday, at least for half of the day.

“I think it would be a great idea if we ever made it a public holiday on Melbourne Cup Day, at least for a half day,” Brett Devine from the ATC said.

“Officially or unofficially, pretty much everyone does stop from the afternoon onwards.

“We have a great day out here at Royal Randwick, and anywhere from 20,000 to 25,000 people attend. To paraphrase Bob Hawke, any boss who sacks a worker for not being there on Melbourne Cup Day afternoon is a bit of a bum.”

A big day is planned at Royal Randwick on Tuesday, November 3 for the Melbourne Cup, with eight races on the track and all the action from Flemington played live on the big screen.

Should Melbourne Cup Day be a public holiday in NSW? Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Ash, Coogee

Januka, Maroubra

No, because NSW has its own holidays.

The Melbourne Cup should be a holiday for Melbourne and not Sydney, because it’s not our tradition.

Yes, a public holiday would be all right.

It would be fantastic to have a day off and I wouldn’t complain.

Brian, Bondi

No, because it has always been associated with Victoria. I don’t see why they would have a holiday here. If they had it here, it would mean it would apply to all of Australia.

I’m thinking of the economy of the country.

Anne, Maroubra

I don’t think so, because I’m not a fan of racing horses. I’m a fan of the animals and I don’t believe in races, so I don’t think it should be a public holiday.

Narayan, Maroubra Lourdes, Bondi

It doesn’t make any difference to me, because I don’t work.

Why should we have a holiday?

It doesn’t make sense.

Yes, it would be good to have a public holiday.

It’s a special event and everyone’s talking about it. People want to bet on the horses and all of that, so it would be good.

November 2015 | The Beast 47

Local Sport From Around The Beaches...

Words Marcus Braid Picture Matt Barry

THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT The Eastern Suburbs Roosters side of 1974–75 is considered to be one of the greatest teams in rugby league history. For two memorable seasons they were practically unbeatable, losing just seven games in that time and claiming two grand finals without conceding a try in either.

‘The House that Jack Built’ by David Rowlands is a book that reveals the inspiring stories of the men who made it happen – the coach himself, Jack Gibson, and his players, including the legendary Arthur Beetson. The House that Jack Built is available now at all good book stores.

HEFFRON PARK IMPROVEMENTS CONTINUE The start of construction work on new synthetic playing fields has begun at Heffron Park in Maroubra. Construction of the new fields on Bunnerong Road is part of Randwick City Council’s $34 million ten-year master plan to upgrade and improve the 44-hectare sporting reserve. The new fields will be able to be used for a variety of sports and can accommodate eight mini fields

Big Bondi southerly chunks.

or one large FIFA accredited field. Construction on the synthetic sports fields is expected to be completed by the end of 2015. For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

OLLIE'S RUN FOR REFUGEE CHILDREN Over the past few months we have all been watching the worst humanitarian crisis since WW2 unfold in the news, and most of us are feeling helpless. The picture of Aylan Kurdi – the threeyear-old Syrian Kurdish child washed up on a Turkish beach – prompted Olivier Vojetta from Randwick to do something. He participated in the Blackmores Bridge Run and will run the JP Morgan Corporate Challenge on November 11 to help to raise much-needed funds for children refugees through UNICEF. Donations can be made at www. bsrf2015.gofundraise.com.au/ page/VOJETTAO. RANDWICK PETERSHAM PARTNER WITH IRELAND Durham Second XI player Barry McCarthy will be the first Irish player to participate in the

Randy Petes/Cricket Ireland Official Overseas Scholarship Program in 2015/16 – the first official partnership between a Sydney Grade Club and an international side. This is on top of the Randy Petes hosting Ireland’s 16th man, paceman Graeme McCarter, during the latter stages of the 2015 World Cup. This new Overseas Scholarship Program will allow a player every season to develop through the Randy Petes training and match program. Please visit www.rpcc.tv.

GRADE CRICKET HITS FULL SWING The Sydney grade cricket season is now well underway, as the Eastern Beaches clubs look to accrue valuable points early in the season. Randwick Petersham, who look back on track after a round one defeat, host St George in a two-day match at Coogee Oval on November 7 and 14. The Eastern Suburbs Dolphins will host Gordon the following round at Waverley Oval on November 21 and 28. The final of the Twenty20 competition will be held at the SCG on November 1. Visit www. sydneygrade.nsw.cricket.com.au.

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November 2015 | The Beast 49

November Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

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MOONLIGHT CINEMA Balmy weather, lush lawns and shimmering silver screens – Australia’s summer nights will be sparkling again as Moonlight Cinema returns for its 20th season.

Moonlight Cinema will run all summer long. Visit www.moonlight.com.au/sydney/cine-buzz.

DEAD CENTRE In an exciting cross-continental theatrical endeavour, Red Stitch Actors Theatre presents Dead Centre|Sea Wall. The show will be on from October 20 – November 14 at the Old Fitzroy Theatre.

Tickets are $35. Visit www.oldfitztheatre.com/dead-centre-sea-wall.

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MELBOURNE CUP DAY ‘Cup Day’ at Royal Randwick is a day for all Sydneysiders to kick up their heels and enjoy 'the race that stops the nation', and eight races at the track. Enjoy the trackwide Super Sweep, with full bookie and TAB facilities. Visit www.australianturfclub.com.au.

NATIONAL RECYCLING WEEK National Recycling Week gets underway today and runs until November 15. Living more sustainably is on the rise, particularly here in the Eastern Suburbs. For more information on recycling week, please visit www.recyclingweek.planetark.org.

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WHITE RIBBON WALK Join more than 400 people at High Cross Park in Randwick and walk to Coogee Bay Surf Club to demonstrate your commitment to the prevention of men's violence against women. Meet at High Cross Park at 7.15am. Visit www.whiteribbon.com.au.

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WHAT A LIFE! This major retrospective is on at the State Library from October 17 - February 7, showcasing over 300 black and white, and colour images captured by Australia's premier rock photographer, Tony Mott. For more information, visit www.sl.nsw.gov.au.

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A GIRL WITH SUN IN HER EYES A Girl With Sun In Her Eyes at the Old Fitzroy Theatre is a riveting re-invention of the police procedural. The show is on from October 27 – November 14, starting at 6.30pm. Tickets are $28.

Visit www.oldfitztheatre.com/ girl-with-the-sun-in-her-eyes.

HAND LETTERING WORKSHOPS Mike Meyer is a legend on the sign-painting scene in the US – he’s a member of the famous Letterheads group. He’s bringing his popular one and two-day intensive workshops back to Sydney this month. Please visit www.betterletters.co/workshops.

MARK OF REMEMBRANCE Remembrance Day in Australia commemorates the noble sacrifices of armed forces and civilians during times of war. At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, one minute of silence is observed across the country to mark the cessation of WWI hostilities.

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BRYONI’S FOUR-WEEK PROJECT North Bondi hair salon Bryoni’s Hair is currently running an initiative called the ‘Four Week Project’, which involves collecting toys for ill children at the Children’s Hospital and distributing them two weeks out from Christmas. To donate, call 9300 0229.

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For heaps more local events, just visit...

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2015 Friday

Saturday

Concretor Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089

Sunday

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SCULPTURE BY THE SEA One of the world’s largest free events returns to the Bondi Beach to Tamarama coastal walk from October 22 – November 8. See the spectacular walk transformed into a two-kilometre long temporary sculpture park. Please visit www.sculpturebythesea.com.

PHOTOGRAPHERS UNITE Australia’s first iStockalypse photography summit will be held in Sydney from November 6-8. Held at Bondi Bowlo, the iStockalypse event will bring together local and global photographers and videographers for three days of intense photography workshops.

STARS DANCE FOR CANCER Stars of the East – Dance for Cancer is an event with high profile local stars learning to dance before performing at a gala evening on November 7 at Easts Leagues Club, kicking off at 7pm. Visit www.everydayhero.com.au/event/ starsoftheeast2015 for tickets.

KINCOPPAL SPRING FAIR Kincoppal-Rose Bay’s Spring Fair is on today from 10am-4pm, and will be packed full of fantastic things to do, see, taste and hear.

There’ll be Sideshow Alley (a fun park with rides for the kids) and a great line up of entertainment.

Please visit www.krb.nsw.edu.au.

SOUTH MAROUBRA ART SHOW The biggest and only art show in the Eastern Suburbs returns from November 13 – 15 at South Maroubra Shopping Village. Last year’s exhibition saw over 700 paintings on show. There is no entry fee. Visit www.southmaroubraartshow.websyte.com.au.

SOUTH COOGEE FIESTA We all enjoyed throwing paper planes around classrooms when we were younger, and now South Coogee Public School is going one step further. The school will host its biennial fiesta today, and it will feature a celebrity paper plane race for the first time.

CHINA DINER SUNDAY SESSIONS Sunday Sessions at China Diner are cranking at the moment, and it’s a great place to end your weekend. DJ Dan Slater plays the finest house music, so peel off the beach, sit up at the bar and enjoy the good vibes. Sunday Sessions run on from 5pm-9pm.

STOP YOUR FOOD ADDICTION FA offers free help and hope for underweight, overweight, bulimic and food addicted people. FA meetings are held every Friday at 10am at the Salvation Army Hall on Boyce Road in Maroubra. Call Maria on 0410 566 724 or visit www.foodaddicts.org.

WAVERLEY MARKETS Waverley Markets are on today from 9am-1pm at 155 Bronte Road, Waverley.

BONDI SPLASH N’ DASH Grab your swimmers and get ready to splash into summer. For more information, please visit www.bondisplashndash.com.au.

TAKE A HIKE AROUND THE BAY If you love the outdoors and would like to be part of a new over 50s walking group, join in the fun every Friday at Rushcutters Bay from 8.15 – 10am. The walks will take place rain, hail or shine and will cater to all levels of fitness. Cost is free, call 9391 7182.

GRADE CRICKET UNDERWAY The Sydney grade cricket season is now well underway, as the Eastern Beaches clubs look to accrue valuable points early in the season. Eastern Suburbs host Gordon at Waverley Oval on November 21 and 28. Visit www. sydneygrade.nsw.cricket.com.au.

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Fencing David Skene Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0415 401 587 Building Design Todd Maguire Design Solutions Ph: 0405 617 428 Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Plumber Matt Scott Surfside Plumbing Ph: 0450 391 734 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Cleaner Sarah Callan Exec Home Office Ph: 0414 510 275 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338 Handyman Cristian The Handyman Ph: 0467 484 459

...www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide

Shot on location at Bondi Icebergs with thanks to the Bondi Baths Trust.

A Passion for Fashion

Pip Edwards Interview Dan Hutton Photography Georgie Gavaghan

Where are you originally from?

I am from St Ives on the North Shore. I was born in Mona Vale Hospital and moved to the Eastern Suburbs when I was 18.

I moved to Paddington. My parents followed suit at the same time and they live in Rose Bay, so we’ve been fully anchored in the east since I was 18, and now I'm 36.

Did you move over with your folks? No, I moved in with my best friend into Paddington. Because I very rarely went home, and they got over the commute, they moved over too.

So you’ve spent half of your life in the east; how long have you lived in Bondi? I’ve had a good 12 years in Bondi. I tried to get out of Bondi for a little while; I had two years off and I went back to Paddington. But oh my god, that beach; you just want to be able to walk to the beach.

What do you love about the Eastern Suburbs? I think proximity of the beaches, to the city and the landscape. It's pretty gorgeous. All of my friends and my work are in the one little hub.

I work every bloody day. If you love what you do and you do what you love, it's all part of the game.

What gets your goat about life in the Eastern Suburbs? It can be too busy. You've got to always be ‘on’ in a certain way. If I can talk about Bondi, if you're going walking down the street, the potential is you're going to bump into people. Sometimes if you want to hide, that can be hard.

I tried to get out of Bondi for a little while; I had two years off and I went back to Paddington. But oh my god, that beach; you just want to be able to walk to the beach.

You’re the design director at General Pants; where is head office? General Pants HQ is in Alexandria.

Does Pip Edwards, fashion icon, get out and about in her trackies and ugg boots?

Absolutely. Well, maybe not ugg boots. Trackies, yes I do, and as the years go on I feel like this is my community so I can get away with it. Bondi is a pretty friendly place and you've got to love your little local haunts; it just keeps you real.

Do you spend most of your time out there when you're working? I'm there every day. That's actually the most commonly asked question: do I work every day? Yes, I work every day; I work weekends, I work nights,

Speaking of local haunts, do you have any favourites? Yeah, I've got a few. You've got to get your coffee from Sonoma. You've got to have a wine at The Shop and you've got to have dinner at Icebergs, in the fancy bit

upstairs. It helps when Maurice (Terzini, the owner) is the godfather of your child. And a Bloody Mary at the Bucket List after going to the beach is a must.

That’s like my favourite thing to do in summer.

If you had to live anywhere besides Bondi, where would it be?

I went to Bronte on the weekend. Bronte pool was so great. It was like what Bondi used to be; not as hectic and more family orientated. If I had to move, I could probably move that way.

Otherwise I’d just move somewhere else in Bondi.

Would you ever leave Sydney?

Nope.

You're not one of these people who want to move to Byron to live the hippy lifestyle? It crossed my mind, but it depends on what day you talk to me. I love Sydney though.When you travel and come back to Bondi, you relax when you come home.

You've got over 70,000 Instagram followers; what makes you so interesting to all these people? I don't know, you tell me. I think I've been around a long time. My Instagram really is organic; I'm not one of those paid Instagrammers. I don't do those kinds of posts. I do things that I love and I work with brands that I love, and obviously I pepper in my lifestyle with my child, so it's actually a platform to balance out the external judgment that I could have. I love Instagram for that reason. It is what it is. If you like it, great; if you don't, f**k off.

November 2015 | The Beast 53

How true to your life is your Instagram feed? It's pretty true.

Sometimes I wish I could take photos of the spreadsheets and the desktop, and the running around. But at the same time, it's about showing it in the best light, so obviously it is a bit skewed. If only I could post the tears, then we'd have a more balanced view. I try to balance it out with my child, so that people remember that there's something a bit more there than just fashion. Sometimes I don't like posting photos of him because I don't want him to be so exposed to all that, but that's his generation. That's all they know now.

Do you find that social media is a chore or do you love it? Sometimes it can be a chore. I just don't like things to be forced, so trying to portray what I need to do in a very organic way with integrity is actually really hard, especially when you're feeling off and when you're having a shit day. You don't really want to take a photo of yourself, but sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Do you think the world was a better place pre Instagram (and social media in general)? That's a really good question. Sometimes I wish we had Instagram back in the day. When I was at Ksubi and Sass & Bide, there were some really awesome things there, but part of the illusion of that was that people didn't know and it was more about hearsay, and that was creating the excitement. Now you know everything about everyone and when you see someone you can roll into a conversation when you don't even know them.

You know exactly where they've been; it's too voyeuristic and there's too much information. It also stops you from communicating, because I just look at my f**king phone all the time. It's premeditated and so much of it is ‘authentic’ staged moments. That said, I'm so current with what's going on because of it.

54 The Beast | November 2015

When did you first discover your love for fashion? When I was about three, my mum says.

I was having meltdowns and tantrums over what she was dressing me in. I've always just loved it. My mum was a very stylish woman. She grew up in the Middle East and she was always very well put together.

Growing up, I always had to be quite well presented. She actually thinks I've gone downhill since then, and I've gone a bit shabby for her. To answer the question, it's come from her.

Where in the Middle East is your mum from? She was born in Bethlehem. She's Arab.

How did you get your start in the fashion industry? I was working at PriceWaterhouseCoopers. I've got a commerce/ law degree, but all of my friends worked in the fashion industry, and I was very close to the guys at Ksubi. They were my best friends and they just said, “Come and take the plunge”. I really wanted to work in fashion, so I just started with them.

I started their PR department.

What were you doing at PWC? Risk management and corporate restructuring. I did that for nearly three years.

Do you look back on that and go, “What the f**k was I doing?”? No, I loved it. It was what I studied for and I quite enjoyed it. I ticked that box mainly for my parents, but I did it. I left and it was really funny, because a few years later when I was well and truly into Ksubi, they kind of asked me to come back as an industry specialist. I could have gone back, but I like to make things and I like to leave a bit of a legacy, and I felt the corporate world was a little too ‘middle man’ for me.

Are there any particular highlights from the Ksubi years?

The whole thing was amazing.

It was a like a cult, and it was a team of friends coming together just to do what they believed in, regardless.

How surprised was everyone that it actually took off? Having lived through those glory days, you didn't even think about it.

We were just going ahead, going forth doing what we wanted. It was pretty amazing, but at the end of the day it's a business so you need to sell product… the perils of fashion.

Did you have a fall back plan if the fashion thing didn't work out? There was never a fall back. It was always fashion for me. There was a bit of music; I'm a trained musician in piano.

I just think that those creative elements were always going to be it for me.

I could have gone back, but I like to make things and I like to leave a bit of a legacy, and I felt the corporate world was a little too ‘middle man’ for me.

Do you still tickle the ivories?

No, my piano's at my parents' place. I did it hardcore growing up because I had to, but music's always around. It's always in my ears and it's always inspiring.

Are you teaching your young man any instruments? I had a little go. He's had a little tinkle.

He's actually got perfect pitch, though. He's the most amazing singer, but he's just at that age where he's so sports orientated.

He's not prepared to give that up, but he sings all the time.

When we're in the car and we're belting out songs, he tells me to shut up. He likes all my music too, thank god.

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Do you have good musical taste? I think I do. I'm a jukebox and I love all kinds of music. I was trained classically, so my favourite era was the romantic period. I'm very emotional and then what comes from that is electronic music, so that's the progression. I'm big into my electronic and French music… everything's French.

Besides the more obvious transitions in trends, what do you think has changed most significantly in the fashion industry since your career began? Social media. It's really impacted not just trends, but access and exposure. Basically you used to wait for trends to hit, now they're all emerging. It's really affected what you see and where you get your inspiration.

Basically you used to wait for trends to hit, now they're all emerging. It's really affected what you see and where you get your inspiration.

Right now, who is Australia's hottest designer? Let's talk about Ellery. She just shut down Paris. It was amazing. She's got an amazing eye, she's an amazing designer, an amazing stylist, and her shows are impeccable.

She just showed at Paris and I basically want to wear the whole range. She's hot and she's really nice.

Do you have a career highlight thus far? I think coming to General Pants and taking the knowledge from working at Ksubi and then Sass & Bide, two major iconic brands that I've been privileged enough to have insight into, and putting that knowledge into a retail sense where you can impact the mass market, is possibly the biggest

56 The Beast | November 2015

highlight. You are speaking to a lot of people, and that is exciting.

Did people in the industry think you were ‘selling out’ a bit when you went to General Pants and became ‘mainstream’? There might have been a flutter of that, but the difference is that the General Pants aesthetic is my aesthetic. It's not a far stretch. I'm casual, I love my denim, and I'm based in denim.

It's the vibe of it and to be honest, it's not selling out. It's what we wear every day. You tell me who doesn't shop at General Pants. General Pants was my first retail job at Pitt Street Mall. I had such a great time working there. It was amazing to go full circle and come back and work in the other side of the business. I have earnt my stripes.

Is there some sort of end goal or aspiration that drives you on a day to day basis? The people, the team and the energy is what drives me at work. I love it. My end goal is just to make great things that people love to wear.

What's it like when you see people in your clothes? It's amazing. I think that even if you can impact one person, it’s great, because clothes are an interesting thing. They set your demographic and they set your lifestyle. They're your second skin and they can be emotional.

You can hide behind them and you can amplify them, so I think that anyone who takes an interest in something or relates to an item is awesome.

What's your definition of success? Happiness. Just to be happy with where you're at. We always want more and there's no limit to success, so it's how you view yourself, I think.

What's the best thing about your job? Really getting to understand your customer, I

think, and really understanding the lifestyle. That's where General Pants does things well.

It's not just clothes on a rack.

You're really identifying your customer, you're working out what they want to do and then you provide them with the tools to do that.

Is it hard work, or is it all photo shoots and cocktail parties?

You can only showcase so much on Instagram. Retail is a competitive market so we're always thinking, we're always moving and we’re always adapting. Of course a photo shoot here and there is okay, but it's not what I do every day.

What do you get up to when you're not working? The beach, soft sand, beach, swim, beach, shop and… beach.

Are you a shopaholic? Not really, but I used to be. I like to see what's going on out there.

I've toned down my shopping as other responsibilities have kicked in.

Speaking of other responsibilities, being a single mum, is it hard to achieve work/life/ family balance? Yeah, it’s super hard. The only way to do it is with my family. My mum and dad are just incredible. Mum basically does the school drop off and pick up, because I have to work. I wouldn't be half the person I am without both of them.

Do you think your son, Justice, will follow you down the fashion career path? He's got a strong opinion, that's for sure. He tells me what to wear and he tells himself what to wear, but he's quite the mathematician. He's really good with numbers. I feel like I could have this ‘Ab Fab’ moment and he will turn into Saffy and become a full on accountant. He could go anti fashion and say, "Mum, turn that music down”!

Do you have any big personal projects in the pipeline at the moment? There are always projects brewing. A big love of mine is fitness. I'm big on fitness and I love soft sand running. I call it my moving meditation; it's my time out. Fitness is a big part of what I do. I think the whole active wear trend is really at the core of me, and obviously that's what's going on out there.

So something to do with that I guess. All I can say at this stage is watch this space.

Besides your piano playing, do you have any hidden talents that people probably don't know about you? I play a bit of tennis, but I was more the musician at school. I couldn't really play much sport because of my fingers.

Were you the nerd or the cool kid back in your school days?

I was nerdy. I did quite okay in the HSC, actually.

Do you have any advice for youngsters looking to make a career in the fashion world?

I think you just have to stick to your guns and follow your dream, and I think you've got to put the work in. You've got to know where you're going and get yourself out there and meet people; relationships are key.

Personality is key too, and then backing that up with some kind of substance and talent, then you've got it.

Do you support any charities at the moment? Yes. White Ribbon is a big one. I'm actually a bit of a feminist. I'm all power to the women, so what's been going in terms of domestic violence in our country has just been horrific. I think it's awesome that Turnbull has made a bit of a statement about it. I'm big on White Ribbon and we're about to go into a big campaign with it through General Pants. All of our staff will be wearing t-shirts

Where on earth can you make your own 4WD adventure through World Heritage rainforest, swim in lakes perched high in golden dunes or walk through sub-topical rainforest growing completely in sand?

that say ‘No Excuse for Abuse’, and we will be selling wristbands and ribbons in all of our stores.

In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Pip Edwards?

What does the future hold? Who knows? I think definitely all things PE, so all things to do with Pip Edwards. More family is definitely on the cards too.

I'd love a few more kids. Justice is nine and I know how much he loves other kids. I'm an only child and I would love for him not to be an only child, not that it's bad or good, but I know that it would be nice for him to have another friend.

And career wise? I love where I am right now. I can't see a change. You know when you are just at the right place at the right time? I am here. I really like where I am, and I have not been able to say that for a long time.

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Our dear leader.

My Mate Malcolm Words Rupert Truscott-Hughes Picture Francis Underwood

B

ack in September 2013, a couple months shy of the last election, I penned a piece titled ‘Look Good In Leather’, which was basically a puff-piece pushing the positive attributes of my friend and Point Piper neighbour Malcolm Turnbull (including his infamous leather jacket of yore).

In it, I wrote: “Popular opinion seems to suggest that if Turnbull was leading the Libs, Kevin (Rudd) and his cronies would be reduced to alsorans, but instead we’re faced with a Tony Abbott led Liberal party that should win, maybe.”

“What’s even more worrying is that if Tony doesn’t stuff it up, Our Malcolm will face the ignominy of playing second fiddle to the Mad Monk for at least one term, maybe more, and it’s very unlikely that the Libs will want to indulge in the leadership musical chairs made famous by their opponents.”

Two years on and Tony did take out that election reasonably comfortably, but my postulation about Liberal leadership volatility couldn’t have been further from correct.

62 The Beast | November 2015

While Abbott did prove to be a ‘prize turkey’, as I correctly picked back in 2013, I don’t think anyone would’ve tipped him to be toppled well within his first term.

Postulations (correct or otherwise) aside, I’m pretty proud to say that I share a suburb with the Prime Minister of Australia, and if it increases the value of my sprawling property, better still. It’s also been great for security in the area and I’ve been able to save a few bob on my own detail as the Commonwealth is pretty much picking up the tab for the entire peninsula these days.

Now that Malcolm has made his way to the top of Australia’s political ladder, it will be interesting to see how he goes as PM and whether he can avoid the proverbial snakes. The slide down to the ranks of backbencher was swift and brutal for One-term Tony, but for a bloke who kept rolling ones it was hardly surprising. Turnbull’s common sense approach and relatability (despite being worth a zillion dollars) should hold

him in good stead now that the dice are in his hands.

That said (and I promise that there’ll be no more terrible ‘snakes and ladders’ analogies), Mr Turnbull would’ve almost certainly had to grease a few palms (from a policy perspective rather than literally) to guarantee the numbers that would ensure his gilt-edged sword slid effortlessly between Abbott’s shoulder blades. With respect to that, it’s hard to imagine that issues Turnbull is known to support and have made him so popular, such as gay marriage and dealing with climate change, will be tackled with any great urgency now that he’s getting around in the limo with ‘C1’ license plates.

This is where the public needs to practise some patience. To quote the reputable Kiwi political figurehead Rachel Hunter: “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.” I’m confident that with Malcolm at the helm, the country is a better place.

Now that I’ve written these kind words, I just have to convince the big fella to build me a bigger marina down at Rose Bay.

Is Malcolm Turnbull the right man to lead our country?

Interview and Pictures Marcus Braid

Rhoda, Coogee

Laurie, Maroubra

With his background, I think economically there will be a much better future under Turnbull. Abbott was a nice guy, but just didn’t have it in the head.

Will, Coogee

The decision time about Malcolm Turnbull has not arrived.

Time will tell.

I like Tony Abbott, and we will find out about Malcolm.

Lenka, Bondi

I don’t know a lot about politicians, but I’ve heard my parents talking and they hate Tony Abbott. I think Malcolm Turnbull’s better.

I think so. The party put him up for the job and they believe in him, so I think he’s the best candidate.

I believe it’s the best system.

Peter, Randwick Susan, Randwick

No, I don’t like him. He’s too arrogant and I don’t think he’s in touch with the real people.

That’s the main reason.

Absolutely. He gives business more confidence. He’s a much smarter man than the last guy. He’s a self-made millionaire, so let’s hope he makes us all millionaires.

November 2015 | The Beast 63

All in the name of healthy living.

Am I Fit Enough Yet? Words Elizabeth Major Picture Del Toids

S

ummer is coming: dust the bikinis off, sign up to boot camp, detox your digestive system and go raw vegan paleo, because now is the time that the Eastern Suburbs will be the witness to your fitness down on the white sands of Bondi.

But what does it actually mean to be fit in this day and age? Is it enough to be able to deadlift 100kg, or run a kilometre in under five minutes? Sadly, no, it is not. The truth is, nobody cares if you can suspend your body horizontally from a street sign; if you don’t look like one of the #FitFam, all those pull-ups and leg lifts don’t mean squat.

The pressure to achieve the perfectly ‘Instagramable’ figure weighs upon the bony shoulder blades of young women from Maroubra to Bondi and beyond. I am humble enough to admit that I enjoy a touch of narcissism at this time of year.

Between pole dancing and pump classes, I find myself constantly checking for new lines of definition, fixated on how flat my

64 The Beast | November 2015

stomach can get and whether my hip bones are visible.

Recently, a man I barely know thought it would be okay to tickle my arm and tell me I have 'tuckshop arms'. This man was no Adonis. He exists on the tenuous border between overweight and clinically obese. For some reason he is one of the many unfit men out there who think it is perfectly acceptable to criticise a fit girl for small imperfections with the unreasonable expectation that she will not be offended because “she knows she isn’t fat”. Of course, telling him that he should hold back on the muffin with his full cream latte for fear that he might soon encounter coronary failure would be incredibly rude.

And herein lies the crux of the #fitspo culture. We somehow think that demanding utter perfection is a good thing – it’s ‘fitspiration’. What if I went home and cried (I did), or made myself throw up after my next meal (I thought about it), or forced myself to do three hours of relentless exercise most days

of the week to make up for all the carbs I consume in the form of fruit (I do)?

Don’t be worried, ladies, it’s all in the name of healthy living.

It’s not manic if it’s organic. You can’t die if you’re eating the way nature intended. This is health and fitness; it could never be a dangerous, body-image-distorting societal pressure that is leading to a new eating disorder.

Bulimia is so teenager and anorexia belongs in high school - this is the fitness journey! It is a long but rewarding road to that ‘Instaperfect’ booty and, yes, it will take sweat and tears, though incidentally not blood.

I mean, if you haven’t stopped your menstrual period through intermittent fasting, then you just aren’t trying hard enough.

Body Mass Index is no real indication of health; it is all about Body Fat Percentage, and when it’s low enough that your boobs all but disappear, rest assured you can just buy new ones, because having the perfect body is what fitness is all about.

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Back from the dead.

The Magic Rabbit Words Todd Maguire Picture Ray Warren

T

im Stokes was abruptly woken from his afternoon snooze by his faithful Golden Retriever scratching frantically at the kitchen flyscreen door. It took a minute for Tim to register where he was. He heaved his hulking frame off the lounge and walked towards the back door, rubbing his eyes and cursing the unwelcome interruption.

As he opened the door, his dog Rubin stood in front of him proudly wagging its tail. When Tim went to scold his dog for cutting short his kip, he spotted a large clump of dirty fur in the retriever’s smiling, drooling mouth. Upon closer inspection,

66 The Beast | November 2015

Tim realised that it was his neighbour’s pet white rabbit.

Tim managed to prize the rabbit from Rubin and place it in the laundry sink. He was praying that nobody had seen the canine roaming around with the carcass in its mouth. The rabbit was definitely dead, but strangely there were no puncture marks or bloodstains.

“Bloody Nora, Rubin, you stupid mutt; you’ve obviously broken the rabbit’s neck during your playtime with it.”

A devilish idea came over Tim as his dog sat watching his every move.

Tim proceeded to wash the

muck-caked rabbit in the sink with shampoo. He washed off all the dirt and even spoiled the mass of fur with a splash of his girlfriend’s top-shelf conditioner. Finishing off with a good blow dry with her hair dryer, the rabbit looked brand new.

Tim was actually good mates with his neighbour and he knew that at this time of day the whole family would be out and about at work and at school. He placed the rabbit in a bag and jumped the low back fence to his neighbour’s place. Like a SWAT team member, he scurried across the backyard and placed the rabbit back in its hutch and locked the door behind it. When Tim was back in his yard, he smiled and gave his playful dog a pat. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, Tim reckoned.

A few days later, Tim ran into his neighbour as he was mowing the lawn.

“G’day buddy; what’s new?”

Tim nervously asked his neighbour.

“You won’t believe this one, Tim,” the neighbour said. ‘’I found our pet rabbit dead in its hutch yesterday morning.”

“Sorry to hear that mate. I know how much your kids loved that little critter.” Tim was riddled with guilt, but had to stand his ground.

“Yeah, mate, it was a bit of a shock,” the neighbour said, shaking his head in amazement.

“Especially given that the rabbit actually died last weekend of natural causes and I had to bury it on the Sunday. You wouldn’t read about it, hey?”

Tim sheepishly said nothing as his dog let out an untimely bark. He was right all along: what they don’t know won’t hurt them; but what concerned Tim most was that maybe they did know of his deception.

Tim couldn’t sleep that night.

He felt guiltier now than he had when he thought his dog was the perpetrator. Maybe honesty is the best policy after all, he reckoned.

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Fan-tailed Cuckoo - specialist hairy caterpillar eater.

Vocal, Furtive Parasites…

Australian Cuckoos Words Keith Hutton Picture Steven Kuiter - Wildlife Photographics

T

here are over 130 species of cuckoos worldwide and about a third lay their eggs in nests of other birds, which then incubate the eggs and rear the young cuckoos. This parasitic behaviour has been known since ancient times, and documented for over 2000 years by early Indian and Roman writers. It was probably first described for Common Cuckoos, which also have the distinction of being the species responsible for the family name. This relates to their familiar, monotonous, far carrying ‘kuk-kooh’ call, which is traditionally associated with spring throughout their breeding range across Europe and Asia. In Australia, 12 species of cuckoos are regularly recorded; 11 of these are brood parasites

68 The Beast | November 2015

and in the Eastern Suburbs seven of them can be heard calling regularly in season.

Typical cuckoos range in size from the huge and impressive Channel-billed Cuckoos, which are much bigger than currawongs, down to the smaller bronze cuckoos, which are hardly bigger than sparrows.

They are slender, streamlined birds with long wings and tails, and down-curved bills. You will have no problem hearing them when they are around because their calls are generally clear, persistent, or both, however none of them remotely resemble the ‘kuk-kooh’ call of their northern cousin. Australian cuckoos are more often heard than seen, but they are not too difficult to locate in local

parks and gardens, or residual bushland in the settled suburbs, despite their furtive nature.

The two biggest and loudest cuckoos in Australia are migrants that visit in summer to breed. Adult Channel-billed Cuckoos eat mainly fruits from native trees and other sources, vegetable matter, insects, and occasionally eggs and young birds; Eastern Koels eat fruit too, especially figs. The smaller local cuckoos eat insects and their larvae, with a strong preference for hairy caterpillars.

Cuckoos are distributed throughout the world in a wide variety of habitats. Many, especially temperate zone species, are long distance migrants, and in Australia one or more species occur in all states and territories. Fruit eating cuckoos prefer rainforest, woodland and fruiting trees on farmland, parks and streets. The insect eating species are found in a wide range of open forest, woodland, heath land, mangroves, scrublands, pastoral country, golf courses, roadsides and gardens.

Whether or not the location is wet or dry, or the vegetation open or dense, there will be at least one cuckoo species there for part of the year.

Migrating cuckoos are occasionally killed by striking lighthouses or by flying into reflecting windows, and young birds may be killed by cars or by cats. Despite these negative impacts, both Channel-billed Cuckoos and Eastern Koels have increased in numbers and are thriving in the Sydney region where their populations appear to be secure. Channel-billed Cuckoos are probably commoner in the Eastern Suburbs now because of an increase in numbers of Pied Currawongs, which are their primary hosts. Furthermore, currawongs, and both fruit eating cuckoos, have possibly benefitted from improved food supply following increased planting of exotic berry trees throughout suburban areas.

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November 2015 | The Beast 69

It's all about kings and kings only.

What The Hell Happened To 2015?

Words and Picture Dan Trotter

I

t feels like it was just a few days ago that I was planning the year ahead, contemplating the winter tuna run and thinking about turning forty. Now the year has almost lapsed, the tuna came and went – we caught a few, too – and my fortieth birthday celebration is a warm, fuzzy memory.

Thankfully, there are still eight weeks or so left until New Year’s Eve, so let’s look at how we can make the most of them.

Firstly, we all need to find time to maximise the living we do outside of our working and sleeping hours, because let’s face it, we spend more time doing both of those things than all the other stuff that we love.

If you work for yourself, set some firm guidelines and stick to them; if you work for the man, pop into HR and start a conversation about starting early and leaving early when you can, or taking half-day Fridays and working extra long days earlier in the week in order to extend your weekend. None of us are getting any younger and there are only so many magical

70 The Beast | November 2015

springs and special summers in one lifetime – work hard, fish often, love lots, drink, eat and be merry with your friends.

November is always an exciting time of year. On the one hand, we’re all racing like crazy through the final working weeks of the calendar year, whilst on the flipside we live in anticipation of long, lazy days on holiday with family, friends and loved ones. Both restless and rewarding, it is a month of struggle as we try to find balance in the chaos of our modern lives.

In the seas there is also much change. Warm water from the north courses southward on its annual pilgrimage, bringing new life, abundance and a plethora of angling opportunities.

The October run of serious Sydney snapper will continue, whilst the magical metre mulloway and kingfish will start to take up residence on their inshore summer grounds.

Preparation is key to successful outings when targeting these majestic species, and always be mindful of conservation when

you get into a hot bite. It’s important to know that mulloway do not release well if caught in water deeper than 10 metres as they are adversely affected by barotrauma, so if you catch your bag limit of two fish greater than 70cm per person, stop fishing for them and move somewhere else.

If you get tempted, take time to consider just how special it is to catch them in the first place.

Mahi mahi and striped marlin in the wider cobalt currents are the other offshore options worth considering during November. As always, take only what you will eat fresh and release the rest.

In the harbour, if it’s not all about yellowtail kingfish then I’m not sure what you’re thinking or where you’re fishing. Of course, options like flathead, bream, silver trevally, drummer, groper, blackfish, mulloway and squid are still worth pursuing, but for most anglers, the next few months will be about kings and kings only, and who can blame them; they hit hard, fight harder and taste great.

Tight lines!

November 2015 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Claire Favre - @miss_barra

MON

TUE

WED

THU

FRI

= New Moon = First Quarter = Full Moon = Last Quarter

30 0014 0549 1214 1858

1.34 0.55 1.73 0.37

2 0133 0711 1334 2027

1.26 0.61 1.59 0.45

3 0235 0811 1431 2126

= 1.22 0.68 1.49 0.50

4 0340 0917 1533 2222

1.22 0.71 1.42 0.53

5 0441 1025 1636 2313

1.25 0.71 1.38 0.52

6 0534 1129 1733 2358

1.32 0.67 1.38 0.50

9 0114 0736 1353 1947

0.44 1.55 0.47 1.43

10 0147 0811 1431 2026

0.43 1.61 0.42 1.43

11 0220 0845 1509 2103

0.42 1.67 0.38 1.42

12 0253 0918 1545 2142

= 0.42 1.71 0.35 1.41

13 0327 0954 1624 2222

16 0527 0.54 1154 1.69 1836 0.38

17 0040 0615 1242 1929

1.29 0.58 1.64 0.41

18 0136 0712 1336 2027

1.28 0.62 1.59 0.41

19 0238 0817 1439 2127

= 1.29 0.63 1.55 0.40

23 0015 0637 1255 1858

24 0104 0728 1353 1954

0.26 1.81 0.26 1.56

25 0152 0817 1447 2048

0.26 1.90 0.19 1.54

26 0240 0906 1540 2141

= 0.29 1.95 0.16 1.50

0.29 1.69 0.35 1.57

Hallelujah.

SAT

SUN 1 0036 0617 1242 1928

1.34 0.52 1.71 0.37

7 0619 1.40 1224 0.61 1823 1.39

8 0037 0700 1311 1907

0.47 1.47 0.54 1.41

0.44 1.73 0.34 1.38

14 0403 1030 1705 2304

0.46 1.74 0.34 1.35

15 0443 1111 1748 2349

0.50 1.72 0.36 1.32

20 0344 0930 1547 2226

1.35 0.61 1.53 0.37

21 0446 1043 1656 2322

1.44 0.55 1.54 0.32

27 0327 0954 1630 2232

0.33 1.95 0.17 1.45

28 0415 1042 1720 2324

0.39 1.91 0.22 1.39

*Please add an hour during daylight savings time

22 0544 1.57 1152 0.46 1800 1.55 29 0501 0.47 1128 1.84 1809 0.29

Tasty little critters.

Southern Calamari Kraken Words and Picture Pascal Geraghty

W

hat would you do if you only lived for a year?

If your entire existence was condensed into twelve short months, how would you make the most of it? What would you cram in before keeling over?

Would you travel and explore the world, or think what’s the point and just while away your time slothed on the couch, genitalia in hand, watching footy?

Would you bother keeping fit and eating healthily or would you embrace a drug, booze and burger problem with open arms? Would you surf fulltime, chasing waves to all corners of the globe or would you prioritise ploughing as many of the opposite sex as possible?

If you’re leaning towards the latter option you have something in common with Southern Calamari Squid.

With a lifespan of under a year, their days are numbered straight off the bat, but rather than moping around feeling sorry for themselves, Southern Calamari Squid take the metaphorical bull shark by the

72 The Beast | November 2015

jaws and go out in rock star style, enjoying a rollicking life of jet-propelled swimming, hunting and promiscuity. Living the dream.

Newly hatched Southern Calamari Squid are miniscule in length, measuring about half a centimetre, and enter the world as miniature adults.

They grow up to be sexually dimorphic. That is, the two sexes are noticeably different in their appearance. In this case, the boys grow noticeably larger than the girls.

Southern Calamari Squid are generous, artistic lovers. Reaching sexual maturity at about seven to eight months, they go hell for leather before kicking the bucket. The males impress by staging elaborate courtship shows involving complex postures and spectacular colour changes. The performance climaxes with the male hand delivering a pre-prepared packet of sperm to the female in a manoeuvre Australia Post would be proud of. The actual mating only lasts about two seconds,

so about average for Australian men. Fuelled by unbridled passion, or perhaps dissatisfaction, the females go on to mate with a number of males. They store the sperm before spawning in shallow waters in summer, laying multiple batches of eggs attached to seagrass, seaweed and rocky reefs.

Our local squid species is also predominantly active at night and is a fast, aggressive predator that feeds mostly on small fish and crustaceans. It is a social animal, often swimming in small groups, and communicates via changes in body colour patterns. If threatened it sprays a wad of dark purple ink in defence, designed as a decoy for a quick escape.

Catching calamari on squid jigs is fun for all the family, especially when salt and pepper get involved. Next time you hook up on one, though, just remember that you’re rudely interrupting their fun and making their short life even shorter. Consider that wad of ink in the face well deserved!

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doublebay.centre@lindamoodbell.com LindamoodBell.com.au November 2015 | The Beast 73

container unless they are larger than 5cm in diameter, then they can go in separately.

Lids – Yellow. Lids of the same material (e.g. plastic lids on plastic bottles) should be left on, otherwise they can fall through the screens and not get recycled.

Metal jar lids, beer bottle caps and wine bottle screw caps – Yellow.

Paper towels – Red. They reduce the quality of recycled paper, and they are a health issue for people sorting on the processing line.

Sort it out, literally.

The A-Z Guide To Fewer Recycling Headaches Words Nicola Saltman (Waverley Enviro Officer)

R

ecycling is a no brainer, right? Well, kind of. It’s not always straightforward knowing what thing goes in which bin (red garbage, or yellow and blue recycling), with trickier waste items causing confusion and making our heads hurt - where do those bloody takeaway coffee cups go?

Throwing stuff in the wrong bin can cause problems at the processing plant, and can mean more rubbish in landfill. It’s probably part of the reason why, despite our best recycling intentions, we are not as good as other Aussies, recycling only 34% of unwanted items locally compared to 64% nationally.

With National Recycling Week on our doorstep – November 9-15 – we should start sorting this out. Check out this A-Z guide of common curveballs.

Even better, stick this page to your fridge or bin lid. Knowing what goes where will become second nature in no time.

Aluminium foil – Yellow, if scrunched up into a ball the size of a fist (preferably inside a metal container).

74 The Beast | November 2015

Aluminium foil trays – Yellow, as long as they’re clean.

Cling, bubble and newspaper wrap, biscuit trays, chip packets, straws – Red. These are soft plastics that unfortunately can't be recycled. Rule: If you can scrunch the plastic, throw it in the red bin.

Clothes hangers – Red. These can get caught in the recycling system and cause damage to machinery. If they’re intact, donate them to your local dry cleaner or charity shop.

Flower pots – Red. Many pots are made from a lower grade plastic that isn't recyclable, plus they can contain garden chemicals and dirt, which contaminate recycling.

Light plastic food containers (e.g. strawberry/cherry tomato containers, meat trays) – Yellow.

Hard plastic yoghurt/margarine/ice cream containers – Yellow. Attach lids to the

Photographs – Red, due to the chemicals and the high ‘wet strength’ material used.

Pizza boxes – Blue, provided they’re not too greasy. Pizza box bases that are too greasy to recycle can be torn up and composted instead (or throw the base in the red bin).

Plastic bags – Red. They play havoc with the recycling machinery. Avoid bagging recyclables (e.g. bottles, newspapers) in plastic bags to put in the recycling bin.

Pringles containers – Red. These contain different materials that are too difficult to separate in the recycling process.

Shampoo, sauce, household cleaning bottles – Yellow.

Take-away coffee cups – If you can rip them, they’re mostly paper and can be recycled. If not, they have to go into the red bin, unfortunately.

Thank you for keeping our beautiful neighbourhood clean and letting less rubbish make its way into landfill.

For more info on recycling and disposal of unusual and bulkier items, call 9083 8080 or visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au/waste.

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November 2015 | The Beast 75

Where Maltesers were invented.

Going Gaga For Gozo, Malta Words and Pictures The Bondi Travel Bug

G

etting to the island of Gozo, off the coast of Malta, is a marathon journey, especially if you’re travelling from Sydney. The route we chose involved a Singapore stopover en route to Amsterdam, before taking a connecting flight to Malta. Once at Malta airport, there was a 45-minute taxi ride to the ferry terminal and, finally, a 30-minute boat ride to Gozo itself.

Thankfully, once we settled into the island lifestyle, all those hours of travel seemed insignificant.

Gozo is only 14 kilometres long and 7.25 kilometres wide, and it’s the second largest island (after Malta itself) in the Maltese archipelago, which sits in the Mediterranean Sea. Compared to Malta, Gozo is more rural and it’s known for its scenic hills. With a population of approximately 35,000, it is peaceful, relatively sparse and the pace is best described as laconic.

Although the people are friendly and amiable, don’t underestimate a Gozitan: they have plenty of fire in their bellies!

We stayed in a quaint and beautiful town in the north called Zebbug, a 15-minute drive from the ferry port. Our apartment overlooked sprawling rural farmlands and the Mediterranean Sea, and was on the receiving end of a beautiful fresh breeze. It was the end of

76 The Beast | November 2015

August when the land is still dry, but come the cooler months Gozo explodes into a veritable green, flower-covered paradise.

On our first night we took a walk through the quiet lanes where locals sat out front of their old sandstone homes on little stools, catching up on the daily gossip. It’s a place that time has forgotten and traditions from way back still seem to abound. There are no loud, drunken backpackers here.

The next morning we were taken on a death-defying drive to the beach. We learnt quickly that Gozitans drive like it’s their last day on Earth. Our first stop was Marsalforn Beach, which is more a rock rather than sand, about a 10-minute drive from Zebugg. We hired sun beds and umbrellas and spent a magnificent afternoon swimming in the clear, refreshing waters of the Mediterranean.

Marsalforn is a beautiful and popular area with plenty of cafes and restaurants, and throngs of spectacular apartments overlooking the sea.

The weather in Gozo was still hot when we visited and thankfully there is an array of superb beaches, coves, rocky inlets and lagoons to swim in. The water temperature was inviting yet refreshing and the

velvety feel and brilliant colour of the Mediterranean Sea are unforgettable.

Gozo’s history dates back thousands of years and it has some of the world’s oldest freestanding structures such as the Ggantija Temples. Architecturally, evidence of the diverse ancient culture can be seen all around the island.

Sandstone structures are literally everywhere as the island is built on the rock. All of the houses, the many churches that dot the horizon, and the main citadel, which is located in Victoria, the capital of Gozo, are built with the lightly coloured stone, giving the island a classic Middle Eastern feel. Rarely are the houses over two storeys high and the villages are linked by narrow lanes.

Driving around Gozo’s quiet streets was like being on the Universal Studios movie set of a Cecil B. Demille Roman gladiator movie.

The recent film ‘By the Sea’ starring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt was shot here due to its natural beauty.

While the beaches are beautiful and diverse (and we went to many), my favourite was aptly named ‘Blue Lagoon’. Located on the island of Comino, a short ferry ride from Gozo, a day here will leave an indelible picture in your mind. Only 3.5 square kilometres, Comino is car free, and apart from one hotel it is virtually uninhabited with only four locals actually living there.

After spending just eight days in the area, I can understand why Gozitans are so proud to call this island, with its rich history and stunning coastline, their home.

Gozo is one of the world’s best-kept secrets. I will definitely be back to continue my Gozitan adventure...

Things to do: Visit the citadel, Ggantija Temples (older than the pyramids), Dwerja Bay and the Azure Window, Ir-Ramla ilHamra Beach, Marsalforn, and fishing, swimming, and diving at Xlendi.

How to get there: Travel Café Bondi: 9130 1345 Vicki Bloomfield Hello World: 9371 8556

ries to make a statement; if your dress is busy or bold then use straightforward accessories to accentuate it.

Natasha from Bondi Beach.

Sarah from Bondi.

Deciphering The Dress Code Words and Pictures Sharmin Musca, Personal Stylist

M

any women tell me that words like ‘black tie’ and ‘formal’ evoke feelings of excitement and fear in equal parts.

Most relish the opportunity to dress up, but they worry they have nothing appropriate to wear.

Let’s face it, even those used to the red carpet find it tricky, often leaving little to the imagination or combining one too many look-at-me embellishments.

The problem for us mere mortals is that dress code terms are quite broad and A-List celebrity interpretations of them have really muddied the waters. So how can you navigate the codes to look best dressed?

Here are my tips for nailing it this season.

Dress for your shape and size Whether it’s an evening dress or a knockout Melbourne Cup

78 The Beast | November 2015

number, always ensure you dress for your size and shape. A long, flowing gown looks better on tall ladies as excess fabric can swamp shorter women. Petite women suit 1950s style mididresses or those with a fitted silhouette, finishing at the knee.

Think about your accessories A common mistake is leaving your choice of accessories to the last minute; these can make or break an outfit. Your hairstyle and make-up are just as important. An up-do can show off a stunning neckline or plunging back while a brightly coloured lip can add interest to a classic outfit. When shopping for a dress, think of your look in totality, from shoes and bag to hair and jewellery, making sure everything is in tune. Unadorned dresses need accesso-

Spring racing attire In general, you could look sophisticated in a midi-length dress with a full skirt – think 1950s Dior – at all events. However, each day is slightly different: • The week starts with the traditional black and white on Derby Day. For this I suggest wearing white lace.

• For Melbourne Cup, think bright colours like red or orange, or bold prints - exercise your creativity.

• Oaks Day features the final of the Fashions on the Field and is all about dressing to impress.

Ladies usually wear their soft, feminine outfits.

• Stakes Day is a more relaxed family day with ladies usually wearing bright, floaty dresses and large brimmed hats.

On the streets this month I found: Name Natasha Suburb Bondi Beach Occupation Assistant manager Fave Item This Season An Enzo Costa jumpsuit.

Street Style Natasha looks relaxed in Rialto jeans and a top

by Free People, both from Come As You Are, as well as boots from Zara and a bag bought on holiday.

Name Sarah Suburb Bondi Occupation Wedding planner Fave Item This Season New season Scanlan and Theodore heels.

Street Style Sarah wears a Burberry vest, Acne jeans, shoes from Sambag, bag by Estilo Emporio and Ray-ban sunglasses.

If updating your look or shopping for a special event sounds daunting or timeconsuming, Sharmin Personal Stylist can help. Give her a call on 0405 518 155.

Waverley Markets

9am – 1pm, Saturday 21st November Waverley Primary School 155 Bronte Road, Waverley Car Boot Sale New & Secondhand Stalls Jumping Castle Face Painting Kids’ Games Good Coffee & Homemade Cakes Sausage Sizzle

facebook.com/waverleymarkets Stall enquiries: carboots@waverleyprimarypandc.org.au 0498 687 555 Proudly sponsored

by Edward Brown of

Bondi Junction

November 2015 | The Beast 79

Ryan Moore (far right) bludgeons Protectionist to victory in last year's Melbourne Cup.

November - The Sporting Gooch Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Kristian Draxl

S

o once again the sporting gooch descends upon us. November, a cantankerous time of year – as exemplified by its Scorpio star sign – that thankfully only rears its ugly head once every twelve months.

The dearth of good sport in November makes it a troubling time for the average Australian sports fan. Sure, in the Northern Hemisphere things are just kicking off, but if you're watching an EPL game at 3am on a Monday you're either a poorly paid sports journalist or an alcoholic. Quite possibly both.

The fact that the Melbourne Cup is the highlight of the month illuminates the sad truth that there is so little else going on. The Melbourne Cup goes for just over three minutes; what the hell else are we meant to do for the other 43,197?

Footy season is over, cricket hasn't really kicked in, the A-League is underway but it's too early in the season to get excited (if you ever really can), and we're pretty much left to watch Friends repeats on our Friday nights.

What else are we to do? Have dinner with real friends? Speak to loved ones? Read a book? Familiarise ourselves with Australia's foreign policy?

I think I'd rather revisit the fledgling stages of Chandler and Monica's romance. Did Joey really say that? Ha ha, isn't he just a blissfully ignorant, philandering prick?

Perhaps it is a good thing. It does give one time to regroup and assess the year that was and the

80 The Beast | November 2015

year that is to be. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come may point at your gravestone that reads ‘Gary Gerbil – Sports Fan – Not Really Missed’, but I don't think he would be so naive as to miss the real reason we spend hours watching talented athletes ply their wares against one another.

Sport is escapism. If it is anything else for you, you are doing it wrong.

Sport is a way to forget that hundreds of thousands of people are fleeing for their lives from Syria and there is very little we can truly do about it.

Sport is a way to ignore the fact that there are severe economic repercussions in a capitalist world and to completely succumb to our ideologies would ultimately undermine the good we were trying to achieve.

Sport is a way to avoid the inevitable arguments about why the world is so messed up and what we should be doing, despite no one actually having a perfect solution.

Sport is a way to dismiss your concern that ‘a perfect solution’ sounds uncomfortably like something a neo-Nazi might say.

And sport is a hell of a lot healthier than heroin.

So bring on December, I say, so that I don't have to dwell on these things that I can do nothing about apart from chip in the little money I can afford in the hope that the charity I give it to isn't completely corrupt.

We can't all be heroes, but we can at least pretend our sportspeople are.

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Happy hour at the Bondi Hotel.

Keeping Things Casual Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Kevin Bacon

C

asual sex has always been around, but over recent decades it has become much more common and accepted.

In the 1960s, the arrival of the birth control pill led to a sexual revolution and a dramatic shift in traditional values, such as increased acceptance of sex outside marriage and casual sex with strangers. The fact that young people marry or settle down much later than their parents did also means they usually have many more partners.

Casual sex, or the more popular term ‘hook-up’, has almost become the norm now. The young are experimenting and many older people who have separated or divorced are wanting to enjoy life for a while. The many dating websites are proof of this.

One of my clients had been in a serious relationship for five years with a partner who was her first lover. When they split up and she moved out she didn't want a new boyfriend again. She wanted to enjoy being single for a while and have casual sex. She saw me for just one session to get some ‘sex education’, as she felt quite insecure.

Some people believe casual sex relationships are easy and have no complications, but sex is loaded with emotions and often you can receive mixed messages, especially after having sex, which might leave you ecstatic for days. This can be a problem if the partner is not interested in romance or commitment. It's really important to set strict rules before starting a casual relationship to avoid disappointment and heartache.

82 The Beast | November 2015

Another important issue is alcohol – often people regret or feel guilty about a sexual encounter after drinking too much – or not using a condom.

Nowadays with the rise of smart phones around the world, mobile dating apps have sprung up that use GPS technology to match singles with others who are close by. One of the first to arrive was Grindr in 2009, which promoted easy hook-ups and was used almost exclusively by gay men. In 2011 Blendr (which mimics the format of Grindr) was launched and soon became popular with straight daters.

One of the most successful dating apps in Australia is Tinder, which is used almost as much by women as by men. Tinder's technology allows people to use their mobile phone to browse profile photos of other Tinder users within a set geographical distance. It also links to Facebook, which shows a lot more information.

Not everyone using Tinder is looking for casual sex: for some it is a more convenient and easier way of meeting potential partners. It is also helpful for people who have busy lives. Instead of going out to a bar, they can connect and find people to chat to without leaving home. I'm told it can become very addictive.

Casual sex can be a good thing for people who are open to it, like it and have a positive attitude towards it.

But when it comes to sex, you should only do what works for you.

Last chance to book your 2016 charter...

The Indies Explorer has teamed up with The Beast to offer a special package for Mentawais surf season 2016.

We are offering US$2,000 off the advertised prices on all of our peak season and shoulder season 11-night surf charters to readers of The Beast. Prices include all meals, accommodation, plenty of Bintangs and airport transfers for you and up to ten of your buddies.

So what are you waiting for? Get a crew together and take advantage of this special offer to experience the trip of a lifetime on this classic vessel.

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To book your surf charter, please visit www.indiesexplorer.com.

Subject Iced water Location Bondi Photographer Dharma Bendersky - @ph2otos

Subject Photo finish Location Bondi Photographer Rafaela Salzer - @beachlifeaustralia

Subject Launching Location Mackenzies Bay Photographer Luke Surplice - @glasshousephotography

Subject The chaser Location Bondi Photographer Luke Surplice - @glasshousephotography

Subject Mirror image Location Bondi Photographer Dharma Bendersky - @ph2otos

The Beast wants your local photographs...

Subject Sunrise lines Location Bondi Photographer Luke Surplice - @glasshousephotography

Subject Blue wren pose Location Bondi Photographer Amaury TrĂŠguer - @morningbondi

Subject Suncatcher Location Bondi Photographer Dharma Bendersky - @ph2otos

Subject Bunker bumps Location Bronte Photographer Andrew Worssam

Subject Pavilion sunset Location Coogee Photographer Kate Galloway

...email them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Album #1 Artist Ash Grunwald Album Now Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  ‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrr’. That's how I feel when I hear this album. But a good 'Grrrrrrrrrrrrr'. Like a slow thrust with some leather clad hips 'Grrrrrrrrrrrrr', snarling as I drop to the floor and crawl towards you, like a jungle cat with a guitar and an erection. I can only assume that is what Grunwald was channeling when he wrote this album, because it is, without a skerrick of doubt, jungle cat sexy. If you like your dirty blues to purr, this is an album for you. For some reason I thought Ash Grunwald played reggae, but evidently he does not.

Album #2 Artist Dustin Tebbutt Album Home Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating 

Movie Review Title The Visit Genre Thriller Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador If you like your movies a touch offbeat and a little bit sinister, you’re sure to enjoy writer-director M. Night Shyamalan’s (The Sixth Sense, Signs) latest offering. Yes, he’s had a few duds recently, but don’t let that put you off. The Visit is a return to what he does best - creepy-thrillers with a twist and with a humorous edge this time round.

Single parent Loretta Jamison (Kathryn Hahn) has sent her two adolescent children, Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), to rural Pennsylvania for a weeklong visit with their estranged grandparents, Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie). When strange things begin to take place, the much-anticipated visit ends up revealing dark hidden secrets and exposes underlying personal issues for everyone involved.

The Visit has it all - deadpan and laugh-outloud one-liners to defuse potentially ominous situations, cleverly placed silent pauses and jumpout-of-your-seat moments to ramp-up the tension, bizarre occurrences that leave you thinking ‘What the hell was that about?’ and two very, very strange grandparents. Sure, it has some implausible situations, but don’t try to analyse them. Just enjoy the film for the creepy fun that it is.

86 The Beast | November 2015

While this is only seven songs, at just over half an hour, it is still technically an album… I think. I could be wrong, but I'm going to run with it anyway.

If you're a Bon Iver fan, you will either hate or love Dustin Tebbutt. You might hate him because he has one hundred percent stolen Bon Iver's sound, or, like me, you might enjoy him (can't commit to 'love' I'm afraid), because Bon Iver hasn’t put enough albums out and you can listen to this instead. I know I'm being hypocritical, as I usually lambast people for stealing other people's sounds, but I don't care; I'm a hypocrite.

Album #3 Artist The Dead Weather Album Dodge and Burn Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  For all his arrogance, Jack White can usually punch out some pretty good tunes, but that star is sure fading fast. I still think early Dead Weather is some of his best work, but this lacks the manic rawness that made it so great. I know they are trying to achieve the same sound, but the fact they are clearly trying is why they were ultimately doomed to fail. While Ash Grunwald's album reminded me of a sexy jungle cat, this album reminds me of a leather clad old guy with a beer gut singing early White Stripes covers at a cheap karaoke bar, which is probably what a Jack White concert is these days.

North Coast dawn patrol.

Arts & Entertainment From Around The Beaches...

Words Marcus Braid Picture Emily Foschi

STARS DANCE FOR CANCER ‘Stars of the East – Dance for Cancer’ is a new event featuring high profile local stars learning to dance then performing at a gala evening on November 7 at Easts Leagues Club. The gala kicks off at 7pm and stars on show include Scott Bennetts (CEO of Easts Group), Sophie Henley (owner of Henley Wholefoods) and many more. Stars including Anthony Minichiello and Waverley Mayor Sally Betts will take part in the judging panel.

The participants are not experienced dancers, so they have each been partnered up with a professional. Visit www.everydayhero. com.au/event/starsoftheeast2015 to buy your ticket.

MIKE MEYER HAND LETTERING WORKSHOPS Mike Meyer is a legend on the sign-painting scene in the US – he’s a member of the famous Letterheads group and also features heavily in the classic ‘Sign Painters’ movie. He’s bringing his popular one and two-day intensive workshops back to Sydney and Melbourne in November. In addition to the workshops

there’s an evening event in each city where guests will have the chance to hear Mike talk about his many adventures, have a beer and watch him do some live sign writing. Mike will be in Sydney from November 5-8. Visit www. betterletters.co/workshops/ for more information.

SUNDAY SESSIONS AT CHINA DINER Sunday Sessions at China Diner are cranking at the moment, and it’s a great place to end your weekend. DJ Dan Slater plays the finest house music, so get amongst it, peel off the beach, sit up at the bar and enjoy the vibes. Sunday Sessions are on from 5pm-9pm. If you would like more information, please visit www.chinadiner.com.au.

‘WHAT A LIFE!’ ROCK PHOTOGRAPHY This major retrospective on at the State Library from October 17 to February 7 showcases over 300 black and white, and colour images captured by Australia's premier rock photographer, Tony Mott. Mott’s photographs have captured rock ‘n’ roll life

in Australia, including live gigs and behind the scenes shots, for over 30 years. He has provided a rich record of the enormous changes in the local music industry in Australia since the 1990s. His work has appeared in more than 700 music magazines and street press journals and featured in over 450 singles, EPs and albums. For more information, visit www.sl.nsw.gov.au.

A GIRL WITH SUN IN HER EYES ‘A Girl With Sun In Her Eyes’ at the Old Fitzroy Theatre is a riveting re-invention of the police procedural. It’s 6am and an undercover female police officer has been reported missing for several hours on Chicago’s South Side. The last person to see her is now the primary suspect in her disappearance.

Two veteran police officers with complex ties to the missing officer - and each other - lead the interrogation. The show is on from October 27 to November 14, starting at 6.30pm. Tickets are $28. Visit www.oldfitztheatre.com/girl-with-the-sun-in-hereyes for more information.

Enjoy the sounds of these talented musicians at the Metro on November 6.

Paper Kites Burning The Candle At Both Ends Words and Picture Daniel Hutton

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aving recently released their critically acclaimed sophomore album ‘twelvefour’, Melbourne indie folk quintet The Paper Kites are about to embark on a national tour to spread their dreamy sounds. In anticipation of their November 6 gig at the Metro, The Beast fired a few questions at drummer Josh Bentley…

My earliest music memory is... singing lead vocals and banging on my tin drum at weekly family concerts in the dining room at home.

The idea for the name The Paper Kites came from… our guitarist Dave's childhood obsession with flying kites (long story).

We'd like to think that our music is… going to connect with and have an impact on those who listen; hopefully that’s for the best.

Our new album, twelvefour, could be described as... a little darker than previous recordings, yet it has an optimistic sense of confidence and light.

88 The Beast | November 2015

We wrote the whole album between the hours of midnight and 4am because... we wanted to explore a different way of writing music and our singer Sam heard a theory that an artist's creative peak is between the hours of midnight and 4am.

The most exciting thing about the local music scene in Australia is... that it's so vibrant and it’s going places. Heaps of Aussie acts have really been flying the flag internationally lately, like Meg Mac and Holy Holy.

My biggest fan has got to be... my dad. He has collected all our merch, CDs, and newspaper and magazine clippings, and he comes to all our Melbourne shows. He's either proud or just has a sick obsession.

If we could have written any song, it would have been…

‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen.

It's such an amazing song; I love Cohen's deep low range tones and the Jeff Buckley version ain't too bad either.

One person we’d really like to record with is… Jack White. I really dig all that Jack White does, from his days in The White Stripes to his solo stuff. I love his quirky nature and I reckon he'd be a cool guy to meet in the flesh.

If you come and see us at the Metro on November 6, you can expect… a splendid evening full of musical moments, some onstage banter thanks to Sam and Christina, and some sweet new neon lights we have purchased just for this tour.

We never want to get to the point where… we are rock stars who refuse to wipe our own arses.

Our dream gig would be… a sold out headline show at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl. I’m dreaming big, ha ha!

The Paper Kites’ new album ‘twelvefour’ is available now online and at all good record stores. For more info, visit www.thepaperkites.com.au.

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work. For pork ribs or belly, I’d go for a Pinot Noir, thank you very much, but you can also push things here and try a Shiraz or Grenache, especially a juicy, fruit-driven one.

There’s also some great cider around at the moment that’ll work a treat, and some winemakers are getting in on the act here too. Talk to the staff at your local for some recommendations. Nothing too sweet, though; those sugar waters disguised as ciders may not go so well.

Red meats - Lamb and Shiraz is a no-brainer. Both have this lovely spicy element that makes the match. Cooler climate Shiraz (e.g. from the Grampians) is a friend here too. For steaks, I get into those massive Barossa Shirazes. Dry tannic Cabernets can start to sing with the right food too.

Eat, drink and get drunk.

Wine And Food Matching Do We Even Care In Australia?

Words Alex Russell Twitter @OzWineGuy Picture Char Donnay

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ine is made to go with food. I’ve had plenty of European wines that are not that exciting by themselves, but pair them with the right food and something magical happens.

In Australia, I’ve found that most consumers don’t really care about this. Part of the problem is that it takes a long time to learn about wine, and most of us just don’t care. So I’ve put together a very basic guide for readers of The Beast...

Seafood - Go for whites, and mostly unoaked styles. Things like a nice Hunter Semillon, most Australian Rieslings or a Pinot Grigio will go well.

If you’ve got some smoked

90 The Beast | November 2015

seafood happening, perhaps a Chardy might go well. If you’re a red fan, go for something like a Beaujolais or a Pinot, and consider chilling it down just a touch.

Chicken - Whenever I cook roast chicken, I have it with a good Chardonnay. There’s something about it that just works. Consider spending over $20 here for a good one.

Duck - Pinot Noir. Trust me.

Nothing else comes close.

Pork - If you’re roasting it with apple sauce, try a Pinot Gris or even a Viognier. Did you use garlic? Try a refreshing drop – a young Hunter Semillon will

Vegetarians and vegans - Rosé with a tomato salad works well, or light dry whites for most other salads – pretty much the same as for seafood above. Having a hearty stew? Go a big red.

Dessert - Seriously, when was the last time you had a dessert wine? We hardly ever have them here in Australia. Grab yourself a half bottle and save the rest for tomorrow’s dessert.

The basic rule with wine matching is that you don’t want the wine to overpower the food, or the food to overpower the wine. You’ve paid for both, so you want to be able to taste both. Choose wines that complement the strength of the flavour of the food, then, if you can, work out which flavours go well together.

This is just a guide. Try other matches and let me know if you find a winner. And if you want to drink a massive Shiraz with your grilled fish, go nuts!

It’s your food and wine; enjoy it however you like.

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November 2015 | The Beast 91

Clean, healthy and delicious.

Poke Brings Aloha Spirit To Coogee Words Kate Myers Picture Diana Scalfati

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he best trips to the beach are those that combine chilling out on the sand, a good swim and a quick bite to eat afterwards. Unfortunately, takeaway options close to the beach are often dominated by fast food chains, but for Coogee locals willing to take the short stroll up the hill, a little gem has surfaced on Dudley Street in the form of Poke (pronounced poh-keh).

The philosophy of Poke is simple: fresh, healthy takeaway that is both affordable and delicious. Owners Candy Wu and her husband Sam opened Poke five months ago in the hope of bringing traditional Hawaiian cuisine to an Australian palate.

“When you’re in Hawaii you switch off, you feel good, the food’s amazing, and we wanted to bring that here,” Candy said.

Walking in to Poke, you can feel the aloha spirit from the

92 The Beast | November 2015

start. The interior is spacious, combining the bright colours of Hawaii with a touch of Japan in the form of timber panelled walls, a nod to the unique mix of flavours you will find on the menu. The vibe is relaxed and the space feels open and light, and can easily accommodate the large and varied customer base that Poke has already established in its short time in Coogee.

Scanning the menu, I settled on the Poke Bowl - a popular choice, I’m told - showcasing the signature dish of cubed fresh seafood with Japanese style dressings and side accompaniments including seaweed salad, black rice and kimchi (spicy or otherwise). The bowls come in a variety of sizes, making them the perfect meal for one, or an ideal share option.

First timers should make sure to try the ‘Go Nuts’ featuring ahi

(tuna), shoyu, roasted macadamia nuts and toasted sesame seeds - a definite crowd pleaser and a great introduction to the quality seafood that defines Poke’s menu. The ‘Ono King’ is another popular choice, with kingfish, sesame oil, seaweed, and sea salt; it’s the perfect mix of flavours and simplicity. For those sceptical about raw fish, the ‘Kalua Pork’ is an addictive alternative, slow cooked and served with Hawaiian salts and raw apple slaw.

We didn’t expect to find dessert amongst Poke’s otherwise clean-eating selection, but the homemade carrot cupcakes tread the fine line between healthy and delicious with aplomb. Based on a family recipe, they are free from refined sugar and gluten, but make no compromises when it comes to flavour.

The selection of cold pressed juices and smoothies are a great addition to Poke’s healthconscious menu, and they’re joined by a selection of specially imported Hawaiian beer.

Poke’s uniqueness is a muchneeded addition to Coogee’s food scene, providing fresh, affordable, tasty takeaway just metres from the beach. If you’re keen to avoid the hustle and bustle of Coogee’s main drag, it’s the perfect choice all year round.

Poke Address Shop 3/55 Dudley Street, Coogee Phone 9664 8643 Web www.lovepoke.com.au Instagram @pokeaustralia Facebook facebook.com/ likepoke Opening Hours Wed, Thu, Sun 11:30am-8:30pm; Fri - Sat 11:30am - 9pm; Mon Tue Closed Prices $15 - $40 Cards Accepted Yes (No AMEX) Licensed/BYO Both

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Garlic Lamb With Cauliflower Tabouli Words and Picture Marley Spoon Culinary Director Olivia Andrews

S

ome of you will absolutely love this cauliflower tabouli because it’s paleo, while others will fall for its charms because it’s gluten-free and low-carb.

Most importantly, though, using grated cauliflower instead of the traditional cracked wheat tastes sensational. It goes into the mix with the freshness of coriander, parsley and mint, sweet cherry tomatoes and the tang of lemon.

Topped with garlicky lamb leg steaks and toasted pistachios, it’s a simple and delicious dinner that you can whip up in a flash.

Cooking time 30 minutes Ingredients 2 garlic cloves 250g cauliflower 1 banana shallot 30g coriander 60g parsley 30g mint 125g cherry tomatoes 1 lemon 3 x 120g lamb leg steaks 30g pistachios 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil Salt and pepper to taste

94 The Beast | November 2015

Prepare ingredients - Finely chop the garlic, finely grate the cauliflower and finely chop the shallot. Wash the coriander roots well and finely chop with the parsley, including the stems.

Coarsely chop the mint leaves and tomatoes. Juice the lemon.

Tenderise lamb - Using a meat mallet or rolling pin, gently pound the lamb until 2cm thick.

Marinate lamb - Combine the garlic with 2 teaspoons of lemon juice, salt and pepper in a bowl, then add the lamb and mix to coat. Set aside to marinate until needed.

Toast pistachios - Place the pistachios in the cold frying pan over medium heat. Toast for 3-5 minutes until golden, tossing regularly. Remove and coarsely chop.

Make tabouli - Combine the cauliflower, shallot, herbs, tomatoes, remaining lemon juice and 2 table spoons of oil in a bowl. Season to taste with salt and pepper, then set aside until ready to serve.

Cook lamb - Heat a large chargrill or frying pan over mediumhigh heat. Cook lamb for 2-3 minutes each side until done to your liking. Remove and set aside to rest for 3 minutes. Thickly slice.

Divide tabouli between plates.

Scatter with pistachios then arrange the lamb cutlets on top.

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Across 1. Famous Australian horse trainer who recently passed away (4,8) 6. Iconic Sydney landmark (5,5) 8. First Tuesday in November (9,3) 9. NSW transport card; gemstone (4) 10. Someone who eats and drinks a lot (7) 11. Laugh out loud (1,1,1) 13. The Merchant of Venice (7) 14. Copied reverberating sounds (6) 15. Street (2) 17. Stand up on a wave (4) 19. Kathmandu’s country (5) 20. Large ani-

mal, noted for its strength (2) Down 1. Judicial capital of South Africa (12) 2. Current prime minister’s surname (8) 3. Chinese communist revolutionary, Chairman … (3) 4. Careful examinations (11) 5. Band famous for ‘Born to be Wild’ and ‘Magic Carpet Ride’ (11) 7. Antiquated time keeping device (9) 12. Indiana Jones’ weapon (4) 16. Harper Lee novel, ‘… Kill a Mockingbird’ (2) 18. In an elevated position (2)

Beast Local Trivia Words Kate Myers Picture Kate Galloway 1. True or false: Tug-of-war used to be an Olympic sport?

2. The most expensive pizza in the world costs US$12,000; how long does it take to make?

3. How many women were appointed to Malcolm Turnbull’s front bench?

4. What is the most populated

city in the world?

5. Who wrote the title track for the new James Bond film, 'Spectre', starring Daniel Craig?

6. Which famous film actor appeared on the show 'Friends' for free after losing a bet with Matthew Perry?

7. 'Alive' is the recent smash hit

Coogee's Ross Jones Memorial Pool in all its glassy glory.

96 The Beast | November 2015

single for which Aussie artist?

8. Where was the NRL Grand Final played prior to the construction of ANZ Stadium?

9. Does an addax have feathers, fur or fins?

10. In what year was the North Bondi Surf Lifesaving Club founded?

specialist preschool programs

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CAPRICORN Dec 23-Jan 20 You haven't had a lot of success with gambling lately, but I can assure you that you're going to win big on the Cup this year.

GEMINI May 21-Jun 21 Spend some time with people whose opinions differ to yours rather than just your carbon copy Eastern Suburbs hipster mates.

AQUARIUS Jan 21-Feb 19 You're stuck on a treadmill that gets faster and faster the harder you run, but you can step off and casually walk past it at any time.

CANCER Jun 22-Jul 23 Start a business in a foreign country, where the government actually wants you to do well and people are grateful to have a job.

Words Beardy from Hell

PISCES Feb 20-Mar 20 You've left your summer fitness drive too late. Fortunately there are still a few hidden swimming spots where no one will see you.

LEO Jul 24-Aug 23 Don't be concerned by the appearance of your genitalia. Your ability on the job makes up for your horrendously ugly junk.

SCORPIO Oct 24-Nov 22 If you're going to apologise, do so unconditionally, rather than spending half the conversation trying to justify your stupid actions.

ARIES Mar 21-Apr 20 You're about to lay the biggest cable of your life and, despite the mild discomfort, find it an overwhelmingly uplifting experience.

VIRGO Aug 24-Sep 23 Try to take it easy at your Christmas party. There's a high risk of you getting completely cactus and ploughing the office pig.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23-Dec 22 Cutting off your nose to spite your face is much better than poking out your eyes to achieve the same outcome.

TAURUS Apr 21-May 20 Happiness can be easily measured using your surfboard to shoe ratio; the higher it is, the happier you'll be.

LIBRA Sep 24-Oct 23 You know your life's boring when you conjure up injuries and book physio appointments just so you've got something to do.

Star Signs



Psychic Readings

Trivia Solutions

with Miss R

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1. True 2. 72 hours 3. Five 4. Tokyo, Japan (37,833,000) 5. Sam Smith 6. Bruce Willis 7. Sia 8. Sydney Football Stadium 9. Fur 10. 1906

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