The Beast - June 2021

BEAST The

June 2021

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No More Coogee Shared Village Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the June 2021 edition of The Beast. This month’s beautiful cover art, Couple sleeping on Bondi Beach, comes from Bondi’s Rosario López. You can read more about Rosa on page 30.

I’ve received a lot of calls about Coogee’s Shared Village Project.

From January 15-29, Randwick Council consulted with the community via a letter sent to all 7,800 households in Coogee.

3,029 completed surveys were received - a big response. 95 per cent of respondents identified as local residents, and 66 per cent (1,988) were from Coogee.

A whopping 78 per cent of respondents thought the project should have been extended. Of those, 86 per cent wanted it extended permanently, 6 per cent

6 The Beast June 2021

for three months and 5 per cent for six months. 77 per cent of Coogee’s small businesses also supported an extension.

Not surprisingly, Council staff recommended an extension to August. Liberal Councillor Roberts moved a motion for this to happen, but only four out of 15 councillors - Roberts (Lib), Hamilton (Lib), Da Rocha (Ind) and Andrews (Ind) - supported the motion.

Greens Councillor Matson then moved to end it in April, seconded by Labor Councillor Neilson. All Greens and Labor councillors voted for Councillor Matson’s motion, as well Liberals Stavrinos and Seng and Independent D’Souza. There you have it! Enjoy the mag.

Cheers, James

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,500 are placed in mailboxes and 3,500 in local shops.

PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests.

Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and the suburb you live in.

CONTENTS June 2 0 2 1 Issue 1 9 7

6

Welcome Note

30 Local Artist

42 Marj's Musings

7

Contents

32 Police News

44 Local Photos

8

Pearls of Wisdom

34 Satire

46 Dana's Recipe

10 Monthly Mailbag

36 Unreliable Guide

48 Reviews

17 Thumbs

38 Headnoise

49 Brainteasers

18 Local News

40 Money Matters

50 Beardy from Hell

28 Tide Chart

41 Making Music

50 Trivia Solutions

Mordor's Zac Michael loving the music, by Paul McMillan @paulmcmillanphoto.

Keeping the faith.

A Cross to Bear Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Chris Chen Pearl received a phone call from God last week. There I was, recumbent on my couch, doped up on Valium and red wine, binge-watching Unit One on SBS when the Big Lady (and I don’t mean Gina Rinehart) calls, directing me to get off my COVID Ambassadorship backside and do something about Australia’s goddamned awful Prime Minister (FYI - God had read my commentary on ScoMo in The Beast, June 2020).

Hell, did God rant, and at a most inconvenient time; Pearl doesn’t like to be bothered when drooling over Mads Mikkelsen. Quoting Matthew 6:1-34 (re the hypocrisy of marketing guru-types), God told me that She is extremely unhappy with 8 The Beast June 2021

Scotty’s recent sermon to the Australian Council of Churches.

God feels that the prime minister would be far better placed concerning himself with the slow roll out of the COVID vaccine and the treatment of women in his domain. Not that God is interested in secular affairs, but someone needs to be held accountable for the vile behaviour of men who ‘graffiti’ the desks of their female colleagues, and God would castrate them in good old-fashioned Old Testament style.

God is incensed that a man who is doing his best to facilitate the environmental vandalism of the earth She created claims to be one of Her close personal chums. She

denies ever communicating with him through a picture of an eagle and appointing him to the position of prime minister (she has her eye on Penny Wong), nor did she use Scott (and his sidekick Jenny) to “provide relief and comfort” to those in Western Australia affected by Cyclone Seroja (God was far too busy providing alms to those impacted by the same cyclone in Indonesia). And how incredulous that he feels he has curried favour over other religious ‘identities’ such as the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, who proudly bears Her mantel as a member of Extinction Rebellion.

God calls on Australians to grasp onto the sanctity of its secularism (she is appalled that the Australian Christian Lobby denies that Australia is secular, just as it denies the existence of global warming and same sex marriage) and warns us all to beware of a man who is using pseudo-theology, cherry picking his favourite parts of the Old Testament to market his neoconservative political ideology that denies any responsibility for those less fortunate.

And, what is with the buck passing? Scotty’s warped belief that only God and “the community” are capable of remedying man-made problems? God had assumed that, under LNP ideology, problem solving was the responsibility of market forces, not spiritual forces. After all, the Australian Financial Review tells us “we must trust in the market to get five-star quality aged care” and hence, in the market (not God) Australians must trust. Although God does not do trickledown economics, if Scotty fails to desist with his hypocritical bothering then God will be forced to trickle down Her neo-Marxist son, Jesus, for another gig in John Farnhamstyle. PTL!

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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Wonderful People of the Eastern Suburbs WAVERLEY COUNCIL: YOU'RE NOT AN INVESTMENT MANAGER I had to laugh last month when I saw the Waverley Council update celebrating a projected operating surplus of $13.4 million and reserves of $113.7 million for financial year 2021. In such a difficult year economically, where the world has seen unprecedented fiscal (government) and monetary (central bank) spending designed to stimulate economic activity (and full employment), the council saw it wise to withhold expenditure. The council must be one of the few public balance sheets in surplus this FY. Don’t celebrate, you’ve got it massively wrong. Amongst such difficult conditions for small businesses, charities, etc., spend the money! Don’t tell me you’re saving for a rainy day - it’s raining!

Moreover, your reserves of $113.7 million - which is another way of saying low returning investments in bank bonds and term deposits - appears to be ridiculous. You’re not a fund manager, give the money back or spend it on the community.

I understand the need for reserves, but over $100 million seems to be extreme - do you have financial modelling that justifies maintaining such a large pile of resident money?

James Robert Bondi BRING BJ BACK TO LIFE Dear James - I would like to reach out through your tremendous publication to Waverley Council, to offer them some sage advice in regard to the Bondi Junction pedestrian mall. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if they could permit the retail shops along the pedestrian mall to be used only for food and beverage outlets with outdoor seating. Imagine the feel and vibe of the Junction with a dedicated strip for restaurants, cafes

10 The Beast June 2021

and bars similar to restaurant strips all over the world - think Corso Como in Milan or Las Ramblas in Barcelona. People would see Bondi Junction as a destination more than just a Westfield. The existing retail in the mall could move to the western end of Bondi Junction on Oxford Street where there has been endless development and currently many empty shops. Come on Waverley Council, you know you can do it! Bring some life to BJ. Pete Bondi Junction MOTORCYCLE PARKING Dear James - I would like to add my voice to the cry of outrage that has been rising out of the issue with motorcycle parking in Waverley. Not only is this council charging riders the same parking fee as ute drivers, but it is also decreasing the capacity of motorcycle parking in the area.

Take, for example, Bronte Beach.

With the redevelopment of the bus stop and entry to Bronte Cutting car park (or as the council liked to call it, ‘Bronte Village Centre upgrade’), literally half of the spots that were available for riders to park have gone. When I emailed the council to express my disdain, I was told that the motorcycle parking had been cut down as there was a need for a disabled car park. I replied pointing out to them that prior to the works, the disabled car park was already there. Their answer to my point was quite confusing, like they didn’t really know what to say, and even if that was the case, why cut down half of the motorcycle parking instead of allocating an existing car space to the disabled?

There was also a very large motorcycle parking area in Spring Street, Bondi Junction. That parking was gold for riders. Again, with the redevelopment of that section of

the street, that’s now gone. I wrote to the council again to express my disdain, and was pretty much told to get over it. They have now created two separate tiny spaces for motorcycle parking in Spring Street that barely fit five bikes each.

In addition to all this, the new council’s trend in relation to motorcycle parking is that of painting bays in the parking space (often at a 45 degree angle!). I am not sure why, maybe they think it's ‘stylish’.

I would encourage them to have a chat with the City of Sydney Council about this and see what they think about bays and what would happen if they started adopting them. There would probably be riots in the CBD, given the amount of riders who park there each morning.

But why should Waverley Council care anyway? Why should they be worried about the fact that about twice as many bikes fit into a motorcycle parking area when no bays are drawn? They have shown absolutely no care or interest in riders so far, making things more and more difficult, so why should they start caring now?

I’d share with you all the correspondence I have had with the council over the issues I have just noted (and many others), but I’ll spare you from the sense of powerlessness and frustration that one develops while reading it. To the whole parking/traffic team at Waverley Council, and to those who approve what they come up with: shame on you, honestly.

Valentina Bronte POSTBOXES Having just read the May 2021 edition of The Beast, I concur with Ben Selinger’s letter. Since the upgrade has occurred in Spring Street I have been continually asking post office staff when boxes will be reinstalled.

As I am an older person I still post birthday cards to my friends, as well as Christmas cards. Please, Australia Post, rectify this situation.

Sue Welman Bronte THE SHARED VILLAGE PROJECT If you can believe Randwick Council’s survey results, the Shared Village Project in Coogee Bay Road was overwhelmingly popular. The report indicated that 79 per cent of over 3,000 respondents rated the project as excellent or good, and 78 per cent wanted the duration extended. Of those wanting an extension, 86 per cent called for a

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permanent extension. The respondents who didn’t like the project suggested that car accessibility and movement should remain the priority. To underline the point, one respondent recommended the construction of a four-storey car park.

Stephen Kovacs Bronte VARNA PARK I wish to correct some statements made recently by letter writers in The Beast about Council’s upgrade of Varna Park, Bronte.

In 2019, Council received $280,000 in funding from the NSW Government through the Stronger Communities Fund to improve Varna Park. Council undertook two rounds of community consultation and letterbox-dropped residents about this consultation as well as advertising it on signage in the park. When completing the survey on Council’s Have Your Say engagement website, participants were asked to provide their postcode to help Council identify the number of local residents who submitted a response.

The fitness station was one of the items requested by the community during the first round of community consultation. During the second round of consultation, the majority of people who provided feedback were supportive of the idea, and Council believes that this level of support strongly reflects the desires of the local community.

The fitness station will cost $100,000, funded by the NSW Government’s Stronger Communities Fund, and includes the supply and installation of the equipment as well as the surrounding softfall.

Council has also recently updated the fitness stations along the coastal walk at Marks Park, Tamarama and Gaerloch Reserve. The cost of these fitness stations is comparable to Varna Park, ranging from $90k to $160k.

Fitness and the gym is the second most popular activity for adults in NSW and, according to survey data of Waverley residents, is the third most popular activity after walking and swimming. Council is committed to supporting residents lead healthy and active lifestyles leading to well established health and well-being outcomes.

In 2020, Council removed two trees in Varna Park as those trees were dying. Those trees have been reused as play equipment and planting was supplemented last year when the trees were removed.

12 The Beast June 2021

The majority of people supported the level of planting presented in the concept plan proposed during stage two of the consultation process. We are spending $26,000 on planting, including 513 shrubs and groundcovers. This equates to 10 per cent of the project budget, not 2 per cent as has been suggested.

With regards to the existing playground, it is not being removed.

All existing equipment is being retained, expanded and upgraded with nature play elements made from the trees that were removed last year.

The Varna Park upgrade project is not deemed necessary to have environmental impact assessment to be completed as has been suggested. No existing planting is to be removed in this part of the park upgrades. Only areas of turf are being removed to install the fitness station. I encourage readers to view our concept plans and consultation outcomes online at haveyoursay.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Paula Masselos Mayor of Waverley MONEY SPEAKS LOUDER What is the point of people turning up to protest about Harris Farm, but ending up with Woolworths instead? Bronte Village has not been saved. Work has also started on the Waverley Bowling Club site. More protests without success.

Why bother turning up to meetings and getting upset and stressed out, when in the end money speaks louder?

Chris Bronte THANK YOU, NOAH Dear Noah Hutchinson (7 years old, from Coogee) - Thank you for your dedication and gutsy move to put up beautifully handmade wake-up calls to all of us living in Coogee. We saw your posters on Dolphin Street and were moved by the message to “Love Animals, Please Recycle, No Hunting, and Protect Our Planet”.

If this is the leadership of the next generation, we feel a lot of hope and inspiration to look after our earth with you!

Waz and Pandy Coogee SIGNAGE FACT CHECK No, dog poop doesn't contain phosphorus, the (red) element found on the striking side of match boxes. The white form makes a great (rodent) poison, releasing deadly phosphine in the liver. ‘Phosphorous’ and ‘phosphoric’ are technical terms for describing the nature of phospho-

rus’s compounds, as sweated out by students at HSC chemistry exams.

Polyphosphates were once popular in detergents but now dropped because in waterways they are super blue-green algae fodder.

It’s phosphates, dear Randwick Council, that great fertiliser (but not for natives) that you should be warning us about on your glorious ocean walkway. Or is that Glori-ic?

Ben Bondi MARJORIE'S SURVEY Dear James - Although no longer in your distribution area, I often browse the online version of The Beast for interesting local tidbits. I was very happy to see in the April edition, Member for Coogee Dr Marjorie O’Neill actually asking her constituents for their feedback, in this case on the issue of Voluntary Assisted Dying. A recent Compass survey showed 82 per cent of people support the issue in the Coogee electorate, so it will be interesting to see if the feedback Ms O’Neill gets is similar. It would be great if my current MP, the Member for Vaucluse, Ms Gabrielle Upton, would do the same.

Debbie Ditchfield Vaucluse RECYCLING FAIL I was disappointed to observe the folllowing behaviour recently at the bus/rail interchange at Bondi Junction.

There are separate waste containers for ‘Recycled’ and ‘Waste’ within the terminus. Imagine my shock when a waste collector came along and emptied both into the one garbage bag with no separation.

One hopes this was a one-off, but who knows? What’s the point of having these separate containers? And is there any system to check that the waste separation is enforced?

Norman Bondi Junction THE BONDI JUNCTION BUS SEWER In response to Norman’s letter in the March Beast and Con’s letter in the April Beast regarding an underground connection between Bondi Junction railway station and Westfield, a pedestrian link would technically not be very difficult to construct.

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at the time, was actually built. The two ends were never connected due to concerns from shopkeepers in the Junction that they would lose too much trade if shoppers were funnelled directly to the new plaza from the station.

For a number of years after the station opened, the underground passage was repurposed as a ticket booking office for country trains, however it has remained boarded up since the booking office closed.

It is unlikely that the link between the station and Westfield will ever be opened due to the negative impact on businesses on Oxford Street and objections from the owners of Tiffany Plaza who have blocked the construction of a direct connection from the railway station to Oxford Street Mall.

Stephen Bondi Junction BACK TO SQUARE ONE Following up on Con Gestion’s helpful contribution in the April 2021 issue, I was happy to see the front entrance of Bondi Junction Interchange and the pedestrian ‘walkways’ on Grosvenor Street being closed over the past few weeks as the bus driveways were upgraded.

For a fortnight, pedestrians were first safely funnelled away out of harm’s way by walking on the Westfield side of Grosvenor when getting in and out of the interchange. Secondly, bus drivers didn’t have to worry about mindless pedestrians walking in front of their buses. Thirdly, the under-utilised entrances to the train station at Tiffany Plaza and on Grafton Street finally got some foot traffic as the concourse of the interchange was for ‘bus interchange customers only’.

I’m disheartened that the barriers have just come down, bringing the interchange back to square one. Pedestrians are again having to walk in front of buses when walking in and out of the interchange!

Bus drivers have to watch out for pedestrians, yet again! Pedestrians will neglect the exits at Tiffany Plaza and Grafton Street, and the queue for the escalator from station level to the bus interchange will be crowded yet again!

To the public authorities (Transport for NSW, Waverley Council): close the Grafton Street entrance to the interchange permanently, NOW! For good measure, close the back entrances onto Newland Street too. This is an interim solution until a new station design suggested by Con Gestion is implemented.

14 The Beast June 2021

If another pedestrian is hit and killed by a bus around the interchange, then in the words of Greta Thunberg, “We will never forgive you.”

Safety First Bellevue Hill AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN... HAPPENED! Dear James - On Tuesday, April 13 I witnessed a man being hit by a car in Randwick. There were many witnesses and passers-by who handled the situation in a wonderful show of community. Eventually the man was taken away to hospital in a full neck brace. I sincerely hope he has made a swift recovery.

However, this was an accident waiting to happen. The location: the back exit of the Royal Randwick Shopping Centre, i.e. the section of Avoca Street at the top of Milford Street. Everyone exiting the shopping centre and wishing to walk down the hill crosses here - despite heavy traffic at most times and no easy pedestrian access. It is most definitely a dangerous crossing (that I myself have faced many times). I have spoken to many people who complain that there should be a pedestrian crossing of some kind at this location. In 2016 I even emailed Randwick Council about this. Their response (brief excerpts of a longish email): “Council is aware of the pedestrian activity at this location,” “There are serious implications for the existing traffic flow pattern which must be considered and due to the cost and scope of works this installation will not proceed in the immediate/short term,” “I can give an assurance that Council is actively engaged in improvements to road safety, especially pedestrian safety, at the intersection of Avoca Street and Milford Street.” I appreciate that it is a tricky location, but five years on and nothing has been done. And now the accident waiting to happen... has happened. It’s about time for a solution to be implemented.

Sophie Randwick SURPRISE TREE REMOVAL Hi there, I’m wondering if anyone knows why the council is removing all the trees on Havelock Avenue?

If anyone can enlighten me I’d be most grateful. I can’t find any other information online.

My flat was given privacy from the giant red brick block of flats opposite and vice versa, and now it is just gaping for all and sundry to

almost look straight in. The trees mostly protected my car from all day sun but it’s now being ripped with direct sunlight all day.

No leaflets or notification of this has been delivered to any residents.

There’s been noise disturbance all day while trying to ‘WFH’.

One day it was lucky I was out, as upon my return there was a giant branch where my car would have been that would have caused damage.

I’m wondering if anyone can provide any answers around this? I think I’ll be moving when my lease ends in September now!

It’s gone from a nice, quiet, private little block of flats at the end of Berwick Street to an ideal spot for nosey curtain twitchers!

Nik Coogee FAT SHAMING To The Beast - How was the fat shaming by Pearl and Irisa?!

Although Pearl is often all over the place, I didn’t think she would be promoting this idea that only the beautiful people of Bondi shall be seen in public unless completely covered up.

Anthony Bondi FAT CYCLISTS To James - Many years ago, while working in the Cooper Basin where it reaches 50 degrees in the shade during summer and grown men cry into their cornflakes because they miss their kids, I too once saw a camel wearing lycra halfway between Thargomindah Waterhole and the Dig Tree and I still won’t give a XXXX for nothing. And remember people, when planning a holiday this year, that Queensland hospitals are for Queenslanders.

Nathan The Bra More on The Beast Cover Art...

BUMS AND BALLS Dear James et al - I have followed the debate about the recent front cover pictures of bikini-clad women with interest.

Firstly, go you, for having the honesty and bravery for publishing all the angles - I think this is to you and your mag’s credit. It has also shown an alive interest by the local community in your mag and current cultural issues - which is also great to have such a space for exchange.

While I also feel some of the discontent about the images went a bit over the top (and it’s not really

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fair game to use one’s profession in a possibly threatening way in such a letter), can I suggest that you could look at balancing the scales by finding a local talent with a penchant for painting a strapping oceanic Hercules with all his glory bits nicely portrayed?

Fair’s fair. Be good to cater for all tastes.

Richard Queens Park WOMEN IN TOGS Hello James - I read with great interest all the comments about the bikini bum painting that graced your recent Beast cover. As a strong ‘alpha’ type woman and mum to twin 8-year-olds, I am very conscious of what type of media they are digesting in this highly sexualised era. I grew up with all types of stories and stereotypes about women, including incredibly sexist and salacious TV shows like the Paul Hogan and Benny Hill series, to name a couple. So I often talk to my boys about equality and gender non-bias, compassion and respect for all people, shapes and sizes. I constantly encourage them to keep an open mind when it comes to art and self-expression.

My first reaction upon catching the cover of The Beast was - BEAUTIFUL! A lovely, idealistic version of a Bondi woman (with a great butt!)... strong, sunned and looking out to the ocean perhaps in contemplation or preparation for saltwater therapy. I totally get the whole argument around stereotyping and objectification of women, however I wonder if we can ever again enjoy the beautiful simplicity of one artist’s depiction of the female form.

I recently picked up a print of an artwork of ladies from last century on the beach and flipped it over to see that it was a Picasso! I wonder if the image was also considered lude or inappropriate for the time since it also shows a fair amount of ladies only skin. I love it, but then as with all art, this stuff is subjective huh!

Arielle Bondi GREAT COVER! Hi James - I love the May cover of The Beast. It is so very smart with great beachy colours as the weather cools down. It looks as good as any magazine in the newsagency and an immediate attraction to us locals with busy lives.

Georgie Bronte

16 The Beast June 2021

HATS OFF Hi James - Loving the mag and its great content as always. In particular, hats off for showcasing talented local artists on the front cover every month. Contrary to what some readers believe, after seeing the front cover of the January and March issues, believe it or not, I didn’t have the urge to go and commit a sex crime. What are these readers demanding, that we place a moratorium on artwork involving the human body as subject matter?

Please do your best to ignore the tripe of those who have contacted you somehow suggesting that the artistic talent of two female artists is influencing a societal culture of sexual assault. Dangerously absurd.

Angus Earth RESPONSE TO MAILBAG NARKS Dear Beast staff - I would like to express my sincere gratitude to the respondents who took the time to contact your magazine last month, including some who also contacted local councils and MPs, for highlighting the issues that matter most in our community: a council upgrading a playground and a coastal community magazine printing a painting of a beach.

No longer should I waste my time worrying about when our freedoms will return following a vaccine roll out, when menacing playground designers and local artists are directly impacting on our well-being.

Well done everyone for sticking it to junior council employees, a small newspaper business and a local artist, who must all be wallowing in cash in the middle of a pandemic - show them who’s an important ratepayer/lawyer/long-term resident around here. You’re the boss!

James Bronte I'M OFFENDED Dear Editor - The reality is female surfers DO NOT look like your March cover, nor do they want to be perceived as such. Women have fought for equal pay and equal rights in all industries, but sport and specifically surfing is one area where women have grappled to be taken as seriously as men. Gone are the days where female surfers were forced to wear bikinis in competitions (as entertainers rather than athletes) but only in 2019 did the prize money become equal. And this is only skimming the surface. If the editor had some insight into the history of women’s rights and listened

to female surfers’ experiences in the sport he would not have assumed the outrage was only because of a scantily clad female covering yet another magazine. The January 2021 cover was bad enough but to further insult women and female surfers by representing them as a bum in a Brazilian bikini is shameful.

Instead of becoming defensive of his choices, I would remind the editor that he invited this outrage when he put his own misogynistic ideals on the cover of a community magazine. Consider what is happening in the wider community.

The editor has a responsibility to represent social norms, something he should take more seriously, and take his ego out of it. To compare, Mark Hunter’s photo of Sally Fitzgibbons at Maroubra is a real representation of real female surfers. Put that on your cover.

Feminist (not an insult) Maroubra THE BUTT CHEEKS PAINTING Dear All - Have you ever considered that the reason for the outcry over the sexualisation of the female is maybe because we as women are sick of seeing images like this only ever of the female body. If this was an image of the backside of a young male in a tiny pair of undies with his butt cheeks out there would either be an even greater outcry, because it’s a male and we aren’t used to seeing men sexualised, or there might be a newfound celebration of young men’s bodies being sexualised as it is with the often young female body.

I think the outcry is due to the gross imbalance of that it’s ALWAYS the ‘barely wearing anything’ female form that is given to society to gawk at. That’s why your readers are calling misogyny. Let’s reverse that and use young male bodies instead, ALSO wearing barely anything with butt cheeks hanging out as often AND as much as we see images of the young female body dished up for the straight male gaze. There is a very large portion of society who are straight female but our ‘gaze’ is never catered for in media material.

I think if there are an equal amount of images ‘celebrating’ and exposing both male and female bodies in the exact same way, nobody could call out misogyny. It would be equal. I know I’m sick of always having sexualised images of women everywhere and never of a male.

Leanne Clovelly ¢

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RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS That is, until you plaster it all over social media, at which point it gets automatically downgraded to a meaningless PR exercise.

THUMBS DOWN IDENTITY POLITICS Invented by the Left and perfected by the Right, to the detriment of all.

INDECISION That frustrating time of year when you’re freezing in a shirt or boiling in a jumper - if you can’t decide, just stay inside.

NBN Slow, expensive and unreliable, despite the almost daily network upgrades.

THE MONARCHY Why anyone gives a stuff about these clowns in the year 2021 is beyond us. Even the Kardashians are more relevant, and at least they’re not taxpayer funded.

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Are you kidding?

Controversial Beach Club Would Shift the Sands of Bondi Words Duncan Horscroft Photo Ralph Lauren The Amalfi Coast, a spectacular stretch of coastline listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, is located in the southern Italian province of Salerno. It lies over 16,000 kilometres from Bondi Beach, which is listed as a National Surfing Reserve.

But there are plans afoot to turn a piece of Bondi Beach into a European-style beach club for people to sip cocktails in cabanas on a 320m2 section of the sand, which would be cordoned off for 100 guests over a twohour period.

Waverley Council knocked back an initial proposal for the Amalfi Beach Club back in May last year. Now it is looking at a new proposal, although it is yet to receive a revamped draft development application.

The man behind the plan is former lawyer and Bondi resident Janek Gazecki, who claims he has received death threats over the proposed beach club.

It has been reported that Mr Gazecki has dismissed claims that the venue would be exclusive and would only cater for 18 The Beast June 2021

the rich and famous, and that as there was already a day bed hire service on the beach taking up space on the sand, he couldn’t see the problem with providing another similar service with food and drink included.

A post on the club’s Facebook page says, “The Mediterranean design celebrates the heritage of Bondi Beach by paying tribute to our very own Pavilion, also inspired by inter-war Italian architecture, while complimenting the sandstone hues of Bondi’s headlands.”

The Bondi Pavilion is undergoing a multi-million dollar facelift and there are four shop spaces out for tender, which could result in another restaurant and bar in the vicinity.

Waverley Council said there has been no formal application lodged for the club and said it has to remain “open-minded” about the plan, as the initial decision over whether a development application would be allowed will be made by the State Planning Minister Rob Stokes because the beach is Crown land.

Mr Stokes made it quite clear last year that he is opposed to the plan.

“My previous views about this kind of proposal remain unchanged and I will step in to stop a proposal to carve off part of the beach for private use,” he said in one media report. “Our beaches are for everyone, and should be free.”

There has been a major groundswell on social media opposing the proposal, including the Facebook group ‘WE OPPOSE AMALFI BEACH CLUB - Action Group’ which now has over 1600 members.

Locals are passionate about their beach and feel the club would be a major intrusion on public space that is regularly used by the likes of those who run on the soft sand around the proposed area as part of their fitness regime.

The Beast would like to see European beach clubs left in Europe and have our iconic beaches preserved for locals and visitors to enjoy in their natural state.

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The Heffron Centre.

How the Rabbitohs Snared a Chunk of Heffron Park Words Myra N. Dwick Photo Russell Crowe In March, the Sydney Eastern City Planning Panel approved Randwick Council’s DA to build the Heffron Centre on the western side of Heffron Park in Maroubra.

The project will have an indoor multi-purpose facility with sports halls for community netball, basketball, badminton, volleyball and futsal, and a whiz-bang gymnastics facility.

So far so good, although the Bunnerong Gymnastics Association would disagree - they were hoping for a far bigger, national standard gymnastics centre.

But there’s another story here that’s not had much airplay, and that’s the virtual takeover of part of the park by the South Sydney Rabbitohs.

It seems the Rabbitohs approached Randwick Council some years back with a proposal to build themselves exclusive facilities - and Council agreed.

As a result, the Heffron Centre will also have a ‘high performance centre’ for the Rabbitohs. This is a huge chunk of public land that will include a training field, administration and training facilities for the 20 The Beast June 2021

club’s women’s and reserve grade teams, as well as its Souths Cares charity.

The cost is a cool $26 million, of which the Rabbitohs will pay just $4 million. Ratepayers will pay $3 million, and the state and federal governments - that is, taxpayers - will cough up around $19 million.

The centre will be owned

by Council and leased to the Rabbitohs for a minimum of 20 years, for their exclusive use.

Why does this look like a bad use of public money and scarce public open space? Well, for a start, remember that Maroubra and nearby Pagewood are fast being converted from a low-rise area of houses to one dominated by high density apartment blocks, so the need for public open space in this fast-growing area is getting greater by the day.

Furthermore, it’s highly questionable that it’s in the public interest for our governments to spend such a large sum on a rugby league club’s elite facilities when so many other community sports and recreational activities have greater need.

Let’s also consider that rugby league is not a particularly popular participation sport in the East. For example, the local competition has just two men’s grades and a total of 14 teams.

Compare this with, say, the local soccer competition, which has 18 grades for men and six for women, with far too many teams to count - and that’s before you look at the huge number of junior teams.

Council’s website says, “The Heffron Centre is a shared vision between Council and its partners, the South Sydney District Rugby League Football Club (Rabbitohs) and the NSW Government,” but this smacks of the same kind of thinking that gave us Crown Casino at Barangaroo, following Jamie Packer’s unsolicited proposal to the NSW Government.

Work has not yet started on the project, but it’s likely too late to save this part of Heffron Park for future generations of park visitors. Nevertheless, it’s not too late to let your councillors know how you feel if you are not a fan of big clubs taking over your local public park.

Grow With Us St Margaret Mary's Catholic Primary School Randwick North Welcoming new enrolments

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Lea limbering up at her beloved Icebergs Pool.

Lea’s Legacy Lives On Words Nicola Smith Photo Eve Wheeler The Bondi community is mourning the passing of local swimming legend Lea Hill, who sadly passed away from brain cancer in April aged 77. Ms Hill was one of the first female members of the Icebergs swimming club since women were invited to join in 1995 and was also an active member of the Bondi Mermaids and Puffers swimming clubs, as well as a Bondi Surf Bathers’ Life Saving Club member.

The flags at the Icebergs and Bondi Surf Bathers’ Clubs were flown at halfmast following her passing and a minute of silence was held in her honour at the opening of the winter swimming season.

Lea Hill held the records for countless masters events, including beating the record for her age category in the 2019 Winter Swimming Championship by six seconds while swimming with an injured shoulder.

Despite being in an advanced stage of cancer, she swam in the Bondi Blue Water Challenge on 22 The Beast June 2021

February 28, 2021, winning the one kilometre swim in her age category.

Former Icebergs Captain John Scanlon remembered this same tenacity when women were first invited to join Icebergs in 1995.

“She swam 365 days of the year at Icebergs, and always at 6am,” Mr Scanlon told The Beast. “When it opened, she was there, so when the membership opened for women, her name went straight down.”

Ms Hill was also the first woman to be awarded an Icebergs lifetime membership in 2019.

Dori Miller, director of competition at Bondi Surf Bathers’, said that Lea remains widely admired in the Bondi community for her ferocious bravery both in and out of the water.

“The thing I really admired about her was that she loved competing in the surf, and she was up for anything. She wasn’t fazed by big surf; she would always go out and swim her

race and she never complained.

It really didn’t seem to bother her,” Ms Miller told The Beast.

As well as being an incredibly consistent member of the swimming community, Ms Hill was also instrumental in campaigning for older age categories in masters surf life saving events, encouraging older men and women to compete for longer.

“She was just a lovely person, she had time for everyone,” Mr Scanlon said.

“She was a Bondi girl. She loved Bondi, loved the beach.

She was age champion every year, won the Australian Titles every year. The real badge of honour at Icebergs is to fit in 100 swims in five years and she did near to 300 swims in 15 years.”

Outside of swimming, she was known as a lover of oysters, The Beatles, trivia nights and the Australian Labour Party.

Morgen Lee, Lea’s cousin, told The Beast that Lea was a true ocean lover with an infectious sense of fun.

“She was a lot of fun, she knew how to have a good time, there was nothing she loved more than sitting out over the ocean eating oysters and drinking champagne,” she said.

A true Bondi girl, Ms Hill attended St Patricks Primary (now amalgamated with Galilee) and worked as a personal secretary in the film and media industry, working for Fox Studios and 2UW radio at different times.

Friend and fellow swimmer Eve Wheeler said that Lea’s legacy will be felt throughout the community as an encouragement to give anything a go.

“She was a bit of a quiet achiever, she loved getting involved and she was unstoppable, she got involved and always turned up, she was always there.

She was brave, fearless, courageous, and just bloody loved it,” Ms Wheeler told The Beast.

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A butcher's shop in Charing Cross at 18 Leichhardt Street, Waverley back in 1885. This same address later became known as 256 Bronte Road and is currently the Waverley Post Office (feel free to fact check).

Waverley Council Plans to Give Historic Charing Cross Village a Much-Needed Makeover Words Nicola Smith Photo Bill Simpson The historic Charing Cross precinct will receive a facelift under a new plan from Waverley Council. A concept design of the plans was released on April 23 and Council is now seeking community feedback.

The project will include upgrades to the road and footpaths, transferring electrical cables underground, and introducing trees and on-street seating to the Waverley village centre.

It is expected that the works will begin in spring 2021 and take between 9-12 months to complete.

Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos told The Beast that consultation with businesses located in Charing Cross was a high priority for the council.

“Council officers have met with local businesses and will continue to work with them through consultation and into 24 The Beast June 2021

construction, which will be completed in stages to minimise the impact on business operations,” Mayor Masselos said.

Local businesses are welcoming the proposed upgrade, with many feeling it will particularly support restaurants and cafes along the strip. However, traffic and parking are key concerns for business owners, who hope these will be addressed under the proposed traffic study.

Ian Anderson, owner of Charing Cross Photo, said he feels that any upgrades to the shopping area will only be as good as the traffic management plan that comes with them.

“If I had one complaint it would be that there’s nowhere for people to park,” Mr Anderson told The Beast.

“Beautifying an area is one thing, but if they don’t manage the traffic and parking then it won’t help businesses.”

One popular idea is to transform the village centre into a pedestrian-friendly area similar to the recent temporary transformation of Coogee Bay Road or George Street in the city.

Waverley Council’s proposed changes will widen footpaths, introduce a second pedestrian crossing and turn the street into a 40 kilometre per hour zone.

Charing Cross has long been a focal point for the Waverley community, with the intersection of Bronte and Carrington Roads being given the name by Waverley Council back in 1859.

Residents may not realise that local fixtures such as the Charing Cross Hotel, Waverley Public School and Waverley Police Station have been in their current locations since the 1870s.

The area lost some vitality as a result of the Bondi Junction shopping precinct’s expansion but subsequently regained importance, particularly during the lockdowns of last year when many residents were seeking to avoid large shopping centres.

Mayor Masselos said that the continued invigoration of the centre, as well as heritage preservation, are also key aims of the project.

“Council’s consultant team includes a heritage expert who will work closely with the architect and Council officers to ensure the heritage nature of Charing Cross is preserved and that the design and materials used align with the heritage qualities of Charing Cross,” she explained.

While Charing Cross business owners and residents within close proximity were consulted by the council in 2020, another round of community consultation has opened for the wider public to participate in. To share your thoughts on the proposed upgrade, visit haveyoursay. waverley.nsw.gov.au.

A passion for reading.

Reading for the Internet Age Words Nicola Smith Photo Rod Miller Googol Boy is the first instalment of a funny and inventive series from Randwick author John Michael.

Aimed at kids aged 9-13, the book tells the story of a boy named Howie, and how he absorbs all the information off the internet in a freak accident and the hilarity that ensues.

It is set in the fictional town of Quockingpoll Flats that is populated with clueless parents and outrageous teachers, and is very much reminiscent of a Roald Dahl book.

The author, John Michael, is an English teacher at Sydney Girls High and has filled the book with literary allusions, fun facts and a fusion of different genres.

The book mixes a schoolyard narrative with fantasy and mystery elements, which Mr 26 The Beast June 2021

Michael said was important in making the book appealing to a young audience.

“Everything has been done before and there is so much good stuff being published so the question is how do you stand out? I wanted the book to be re-readable, for kids to be able to go back and discover new things,” he told The Beast.

The book’s title, Googol Boy, is actually the original spelling of Google, which means ten raised to the power of a hundred.

As a teacher, Mr Michael has noticed a decline in reading in school-aged children since the rise of the smartphone, and he hopes that his book will be entertaining enough to engage kids while also helping them learn something new.

The story grew out of years of bedtimes stories that Mr Michael created for his three sons, and in that time the issue of technology has grown from an element of the plot to a new issue in students’ education and reading habits.

“We’re surrounded by all these influences that weren’t around a generation ago and it’s part and parcel of who we are,” Mr Michael told The Beast.

“Students are more complacent these days than they used to be, they have so much information at their fingertips and they confuse that with knowledge.”

Googol Boy does not offer a moral judgement on technology, but uses it to create a relatable narrative to entertain 21st century kids. Enticing illustrations from Dave Atze are also woven into the narrative to add to the fun.

Beyond entertainment, the novel also explores themes of identity, transformation and overcoming obstacles.

Reading has been a lifelong love for Mr Michael himself, and this passion led him into English teaching and now into writing novels.

“I would read everything I could get my hands on, even Mills and Boon if that’s what was lying around. I always had a passion for reading, that vicarious experience where I can be anybody in any context.”

He has already written the second book in the series and plans for a third, with each book taking on new genres and allusions to great works of literature, meaning kids who love Googol Boy might learn to love literature along the way.

Googol Boy is published

by Simon & Schuster and Big Sky and is available at Harry Hartog, Dymocks, Abbey’s, Kinokuniya and Gertrude & Alice books stores.

June 2021 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Alan Spies Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

•

Thursday

1.45 0.59 1.54 0.73

0.52 1.36 0.62 1.82

11 0259 0852 1422 2056

0.50 1.35 0.64 1.83

12 0338 0932 1500 2133

0.49 1.33 0.66 1.83

13 0417 0.50 1015 1.32 1540 0.68 2213 1.81

17 0030 0724 1335 1906

1.68 0.52 1.34 0.77

18 0126 1.63 0815 0.50 1433 1.41 2015 0.75

•

19 0228 0905 1530 2128

1.59 0.48 1.52 0.70

20 0333 0956 1626 2240

1.56 0.46 1.64 0.61

24 0145 0740 1319 1956

0.30 1.48 0.45 2.07

25 0241 0837 1411 2047

•

26 0334 0932 1503 2139

0.23 1.44 0.51 2.07

27 0428 1027 1557 2229

0.27 1.41 0.56 1.99

1.66 0.54 1.35 0.82

3 0239 0925 1544 2129

1.56 0.57 1.40 0.81

9 0144 0730 1311 1945

0.56 1.38 0.60 1.79

10 0221 0812 1345 2019

16 0633 0.53 1238 1.30 1804 0.76

22 0540 1.52 1136 0.44 1812 1.90

23 0047 0641 1228 1903

0.39 1.50 0.44 2.01

29 0610 0.40 1213 1.37 1744 0.67

30 0007 0658 1305 1839

1.74 0.47 1.36 0.73

0.61 1.39 0.59 1.74

14 0500 1059 1622 2254

0.51 1.30 0.71 1.78

15 0545 1146 1710 2339

0.53 1.29 0.73 1.73

21 0438 1046 1719 2346

1.54 0.44 1.78 0.50

28 0519 1120 1649 2318

0.32 1.39 0.61 1.87

Mahon Pool madness.

6 0522 1.42 1127 0.59 1758 1.61

5 0433 1049 1718 2331

2 0138 0835 1447 2019

8 0104 0649 1237 1910

Sunday

1.49 0.59 1.47 0.78

1.78 0.49 1.33 0.79

0.67 1.40 0.59 1.68

Saturday

4 0339 1009 1633 2234

1 0037 0740 1345 1911 7 0021 0607 1202 1835

Friday

•

0.24 1.46 0.48 2.09

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Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Its beaches, the surf vibes, coffee, coastal walks and stunning landscapes.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? There’s not much in the way of cultural spaces. It would be great to have more galleries, live music or art studios.

Chile's finest export.

Local Artist: Rosario López from Bondi

How would you describe your art? I use figurative objects like people or ordinary elements to create a realistic atmosphere with unknown backgrounds so the viewer can create their own representation. In my abstract art, I create a peaceful and balanced image with minimal objects using pastel and dark colours, facilitating the connection between the art piece and the spectator.

Interview James Hutton

Where can people see your work? At www.rosalopezart.com or on Instagram @rosalopezart.

Introducing local artist Rosario López, also known as Rosa, who moved from Chile to Bondi eight years ago, fell in love with the joint and never looked back...

Who are your artistic inspirations? I like David Hockney’s work, an illustrator called Lauren Nassef and the compositions of Francis Bacon.

How long have you lived here?

It’s been a bit over eight years now.

Any other local artists to look out for? Marisa Purcell, Mat Hooker and Claudia Miranda.

Why do you live here? I came from Chile with my husband for work, thinking we would stay one or two years, but we fell in love with this place.

What are you working on at the moment? I am in a different artistic process right now. I am experimenting with plain colour bases, intervened with big brush strokes, straight lines and geometric structures. I am exploring constructions with less elements and understanding how, by reducing images and colours, new realities can appear.

What's your favourite beach?

Bondi of course! But I also like Tama or Bronte, especially on busier days.

What's your favourite eatery? I love the Halloumi Burger from The Shop, the prawn corrientazo from El Indio and the fish pie from Brown Sugar.

Where do you like to have a drink? For coffee, definitely La Piadina (best coffee in the world) and for something a bit stronger it could be The Shop or the Beach Road Hotel (which is just across the road).

30 The Beast June 2021

Did you study art? Yes, I studied Fine Arts in Santiago de Chile. It was the most exciting and beautiful career that I could ever do.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? Since I was six years old. I used to be very distracted at school, doing drawings in my school books instead of paying much attention. One day I found a prism on the floor

at school and I would spend the day looking through the prism and seeing all the objects repeated many times. That definitely triggered my admiration for objects, light and aesthetics.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? To be very methodical and consistent with their work, and not trying to be anyone but themselves.

Who is your favourite person?

I would say it’s my mum. She is the most positive, resilient, happy and strong person I know.

What do you get up to on the weekends? I usually do the Bondi to Bronte coastal walk, barbie with friends, have an outside lunch, or if it’s raining I visit a museum or gallery and have a hot ramen in Newtown.

What music are you into at the moment? I am into indie, rock, pop and a few old bands like Belle and Sebastian, Talking Heads and Pulp.

What do you do for work? I spend most of my time on my art projects. I have an incipient apparel brand called Carryboo Australia (I’m in charge of the creative, social media and photo content) and I love children, so I also look after these gorgeous kids a couple of times a week.

What's your favourite thing about work? My freedom, the lack of routine and all the dreams and possibilities that I have by using my creativity.

Do you have a favourite quote?

One thing that my parents taught me and my school always repeated as a mantra was, “If you do something, even if it’s a scrambled egg, do it the best way you can.” I try following this.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Be kind, eat yummy and healthy food, spend time with your family and friends and keep yourself active!

Live life with no regrets.

Waverley Council Update Mayor’s Message COVID-19 Waverley Council is reminding residents to remain vigilant about community transmission of COVID-19. It comes after NSW Health issued a Public Health Alert last week for several venues in the Eastern Suburbs, and subsequently reintroduced some restrictions.

If you visited any of the venues of concern on the dates and times listed on NSW Health’s website, or are feeling unwell, or have any symptoms, please get tested immediately and isolate.

Council also requires customers and visitors to wear masks in our Customer Service Centre, Library and Cemeteries. Please check the latest updates from NSW Health.

Tamarama Surf Life Saving Club Waverley Council in partnership with Tamarama Surf Life Saving Club has begun the restoration and upgrade of the iconic surf club building with head contractor Lloyd Group and Chrofi Architects. The clubhouse restoration and upgrade will provide significantly improved amenities to cater to the needs of modern surf lifesaving

Tamarama Surf Life Saving Club artist impression as well as public education and engagement with the community. The new clubhouse will remain within the existing footprint of this local landmark, and this factor is crucial in the design and sympathetic to the needs of the community. Works are expected to take 12 months to complete, weather permitting.

The project is jointly funded by Waverley Council, Tamarama Surf Life Saving Club, Surf Life Saving NSW state funding and Community Infrastructure federal funding.

Notts Avenue Waverley Council recently celebrated the completion its streetscape and safety upgrade of Notts Avenue, Bondi Beach. The upgrade includes a spectacular new cantilevered northern lookout, shade structure, mature palm trees, new paving and a 10km/h

shared traffic zone. The design of the upgrade was informed by two rounds of community consultation, with almost all (98.3%) of people who provided feedback in favour of Council’s plans for the upgrade. This project was proudly delivered on time and on budget for the ratepayers of Waverley, visitors and local businesses.

Waverley’s Local Hero Awards Waverley Council recently celebrated its Local Hero Awards and Volunteer Week at an event held at North Bondi Surf Club. I would like to again congratulate all the volunteers and staff who were honoured for the contribution they make to the community.

Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au | Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Updates for Coronavirus COVID-19: waverley.nsw.gov.au/coronavirus

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Anyone seen this bloke?

Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Easy pickings for burglars Don’t make life easy for burglars by leaving your keys and wallet on the kitchen bench.

That’s the word from police after a number of break-ins around the Eastern Beaches.

A posting on Facebook by Eastern Beaches Police Area Command said there had been an increase in targeted stealing from local homes.

“Organised thieves are breaking into houses within our command targeting car keys and luxury vehicle fobs and credit cards, then committing secondary crimes of stealing the associated motor vehicle or fraudulent use of the cards,” police said.

Householders should “be mindful when you get home and throw your keys and wallet on the bench”. Police urged anyone with information about the burglars responsible for the recent offences to get in touch with Crime Stoppers by calling 1800 333 000, or Eastern Beaches Police Area Command.

TV producer has rape charge bail conditions eased A producer with The Today Show accused of raping an intoxicated woman in his Bondi home has had his bail conditions relaxed.

In a hearing at Waverley Court, Tom Nicol had his 8pm32 The Beast June 2021

6am curfew lifted in exchange for an additional day of reporting in person to Bondi Police Station.

Nicol was a supervising producer with the Nine Network’s flagship Today current affairs program. The 32-year-old was stood down following his arrest. He is charged with having sexual intercourse with a woman without consent at his home in January this year. His solicitor has said he “strongly denies” the charge.

Police have described the victim as being “highly intoxicated” at the time of the offence following “a night on the town” with Nicol. Both alcohol “and other drugs” are said to have been involved.

Blanket man A man wanted for serious domestic violence offences committed in Hillsdale was found cowering beneath a blanket in a house raided by Eastern Beaches Police Area Command alongside specialist Operational Support officers.

It is alleged the man, 31, had choked and demanded money from a 19-year-old woman known to him in a Hillsdale unit. Police tracked him down to a house in Newtown, where he was arrested, then taken to the police station to be charged with several offences.

He will have time to reflect on his life, because next port of call was court where the magistrate remanded him in custody for seven weeks.

Bondi man had multiple identities, say police A Bondi man whose car was stopped by police in Darlinghurst is said to have had a staggering 21 forms of ID in other people’s names.

Police also say the 46-yearold had not held a driver’s licence (not one in his real name, anyway!) since 1995. In a search

of his car, they found cannabis, methamphetamine and Valium.

After testing positive for drugs, he was taken to Surry Hills police station where a second drug analysis was positive to methamphetamine and cannabis.

He was charged with drug possession, driving while unlicensed and 21 counts of possession of identification information with the intention of committing an indictable offence. Bail was refused.

Post scam warning Eastern Suburbs Police Area Command has issued a warning about bogus emails purporting to be from Australia Post. Email recipients are asked to pay a small shipping fee for a parcel being held at the post office.

“The emails may look legitimate, with real logos and contact details, but are just an attempt to steal your credit card details,” Police said.

Man groped woman and pinched toddler - police A South Coogee man groped a young woman’s bottom in Westfield Bondi Junction, then later in the day resurfaced in the city where he repeatedly pinched a two-year-old’s leg, according to police.

After assaulting the woman in Westfield, the 33-year-old is then said to have approached another woman pushing a pram in the centre and touched her baby. He made his exit from the centre before turning up in the city later in the day. It is alleged a two-year-old boy sitting in a pram on George Street had his leg pinched several times by the man. A passer-by tried to restrain him but he escaped.

Police located the man on Broadway and arrested him. He has been charged with a string of offences including assault and sexual touching without consent.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

What’s On

Randwick News I want to thank every one of our residents who have joined us on our FOGO journey so far. Each time I bump into someone in my area I’m always tempted to ask, ‘How’s it FOGOing?’, even though it’s a terrible dad joke.

From the discussions I’ve had it seems most people are getting the hang of putting their food and garden waste into the same green lid bin. It has taken a bit of an adjustment, but we’ve seen a 26% reduction in the amount of rubbish we’re sending to landfill and, on average, we’re collecting 114 tonnes of organics each week to turn into compost.

SATURDAY 5 JUNE PLANT WITH US

8.30am to 1pm Woomera and Bunnerong Road, Little Bay Registration essential

THURSDAY 10 JUNE AUTHOR TALK: HUGH MACKAY PRESENTS THE KINDNESS REVOLUTION 6.30pm Via Zoom

FRIDAY 11 JUNE FRIDAY MOVIES AT THE LIBRARY: 45 YEARS

4.30pm Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

It means that, as a community, we’re all pulling together and placing an importance on looking after our environment. It feels good to all be united in such a positive way.

If you have questions or would like tips on using FOGO, head to our website. There’s a wealth of information on there to help you out.

Also, don’t forget we host a great event each month called Plant With Us. Put aside an hour or two, if you can, to meet our bushcare team as well as a host of other keen volunteers, don some gloves, pick up a trowel and get your hands stuck in the dirt.

UNTIL 15 JUNE WRITING FOR PLEASURE

Our aim is to plant approximately 6000 native and indigenous grasses, ground covers, shrubs and small trees this year. I hope you’ll join us on this journey too!

UNTIL SUNDAY 11 JULY EXHIBITION: URBAN WALKABOUT

Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

Fortnightly on Tuesdays 2pm Via Zoom

Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

Street Lighting Locals will line the streets with candles and solar camping lights every night. Rosters will be circulated soon. Authorities will clamp down on groups of men carrying burning torches.

Rubbish Collection No more rubbish trucks. No more 5am wake-ups. Green thumbs will adopt green bins, conservationists will adopt yellow bins and the apathetic Aussie mainstream will adopt red bins. Locals can also take their own rubbish home from public spaces, and stop dropping cigarette butts.

A community-minded fellow kindly mowing Queens Park.

Why Not Adopt a Council?

Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Victa Corvette Randwick City residents are being encouraged to adopt the entire council following the enormous success of the council’s innovative ‘Adopt a Drain’ initiative, which asked ratepayers to care for a public facility that would normally be the responsibility of the local government. Ratepayers are thus being asked to adopt other public services.

Library Street libraries and book clubs will replace conventional libraries. Avid readers can take and leave books at their leisure, with no late fees or requirement to hold a library card. Book clubs will provide a physical space to read and discuss literature without the distractions of screaming toddlers and freerange parents, remote workers using free WiFi and teenagers ‘studying’ collaboratively.

34 The Beast June 2021

Lawn Mowing Time for a good old-fashioned working bee. BYO mower, whipper snipper and edger to local parks and sports fields, as well as lunch, snacks and water. Make the playing surface playable, and put all those grass clippings into green bins.

Nearby residents will supply a case of beer.

Redundant Rangers Control your own dog. Keep it on a leash. Keep it out of prohibited spaces, and pick up after it.

Lifeguards Randwick residents will be required to supervise their own children at swimming pools and beaches, freeing up lifeguards to work on their tan. Cleaning of public pools will also be handed over to locals. Anyone got a Kreepy Krauly?

DAs Home owners can approve their own development applications, just as property developers have been doing for years.

Tree Planting Locals will give up their free time to plant native trees in conjunction with council staff, only to see them all bulldozed

by Gladys and the gang once they grow tall enough to house a koala.

Flag Raising One lucky citizen will be assigned to raise the national and state flags each morning. The Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags will fly on designated days so that locals, like politicians, can pretend to care about Indigenous Australians.

Adopt a Council will begin immediately, and will allow Council to concentrate on more urgent business such as erecting colourful banners in public spaces and congratulating themselves in SCENE. Locals have already started rolling up their sleeves to protect this patch of paradise, and have begun to ask, do we really need politicians?

- Enrol now for Y11&12 - Study in English - French ab initio option - Bilingual diploma option

Did you know you can put food scraps into your green bin?

If everybody did this, we would slash the amount of waste we send to landfill by half and create nourishing compost instead.

IT’S EASY, HERE’S HOW: • Pop your food scraps into your green lid bin, along with garden organics. You can use a compostable bag or newspaper to wrap your scraps. No plastic bags please.

• Put your green lid bin out for collection each week.

Any type of food scrap is accepted including fruit and vegetables, meat and bones, dairy, grains – and more.

For a full list of what can and can’t go in your green bin visit: woollahra.nsw.gov.au/ kitchentocompost June 2021 The Beast 35

Short memory, must have a... shooooort memory.

The Unreliable Guide To...

Attention Span Words Nat Shepherd Photo Ember Byrnes Wait… what? Did you actually take a second to read this? Are you still here? In which case, congratulations, you may well have an attention span way above average. Studies suggest that our addiction to technology has shortened our attention span from an average of twelve minutes to a paltry five. We’ve got so used to soundbites, clickbait videos and two-minute news feeds our brains have been rewired. We get fidgety if we’re expected to focus for long periods of time, forgetting what happened last week, let alone last year. Think I’m exaggerating? Well, The Unreliable Guide has some examples that suggest we all might have the memory of a goldfish.

South Coast Property Boom Property has always been the number one favourite topic in the Eastern Suburbs, but now it seems like the rest of the country has gone property bonkers as well. This is nothing new, but what fascinates me is how Sydney is buying up huge swathes of property in places that only 36 The Beast June 2021

a year ago were ablaze. I have a friend who very nearly lost her South Coast home last year. She said it was terrifying, the worst six weeks of her life. They were evacuated five times and she still suffers from the lung damage caused by all the smoke inhalation. The local fire service has warned residents that due to climate change it’s inevitable these events will happen more and more often. At the start of 2020 she was desperate to sell but imagined no one would touch her leafy town with a bargepole.

Fast forward a year and, after a furious bidding war between Sydneysiders desperate to buy a piece of paradise, she’s just sold her house for twice what she’d expected. While we’ve forgotten about all the poor buggers still trying to rebuild, the rest of the South Coast is cashing in on Sydney’s short-term memory for the fires that devastated their communities.

What Pandemic?

Is COVID-19 now C-over? Is corona just a beer again? Despite the fact that hardly any of us

are vaccinated, we’ve either forgotten all about the pandemic or have collectively decided that it’s finished. Lockdown?

Can’t remember that. Masks?

So last week. Social distancing? Is that the new term for avoiding the weekend Westies at Bondi? Australia’s insularity around COVID-19 is astounding to anyone from anywhere else in the world, but this normality is a luxury we should not be taking for granted. Lest we forget, the COVID death toll currently stands at well over three million. To quote Fortune magazine, “The coronavirus has now killed more Americans than the Vietnam War, Gulf War, Afghanistan War, and Iraq War combined.” And it ain’t over yet.

Apocalypse Now? The happy clappy god-bothering doom merchants must be loving the last few years.

They’ve been clutching the Book of Revelation and waiting for the God-Uber to turn up for a long, long time. I think they’re nuts, but it does feel like the world is trying to tell us something. Yet each fresh disaster - bushfires, floods, pandemic plague, that bizarre pestilence of mice - is front page for a week or two and then forgotten.

After a while we lose interest, decide the panic is over and click on the next news-bait: OMG, a Kardashian is divorcing her own bum!

Finally, why do we forget so quickly? Are we just shaved and suited monkeys who forget all about the approaching pride of lions if someone waves a banana in our face? Sure, that’s a factor, but we are actively encouraged to flick, flick, flick onto the next thing. That’s what makes us all so very easy to manipulate. Look! Shiny new thing! Gotcha!

Homo erectus.

The Caveman Cometh Words Jeremy Ireland My dog loves the couch. He’s a dachshund and has no issue snuggling into anyone who’s willing. No sooner have you sat down and he’s demanding a pat on the head or a tickle under the chin. It’s terribly cute and extremely hard to resist.

Recently however, while I was caving in to his cuteness he started growling. His head and tail went bolt upright and the hairs on his back stood up.

Suddenly he took off, barking like mad. He was at the fence, frothing like crazy and jumping on the spot like a springbok.

He’d spotted a cat walking along the top of the fence, like something out of a Warner Brothers cartoon.

Sensing danger, the cat stood tall, also erecting the hairs on his back and began hissing through bared teeth. I asked myself, how does such a small friendly hound turn from couch potato into Cujo in half a second? I also wanted to know if his hair raising was instinctive.

38 The Beast June 2021

There is quite a functional reason for this behaviour. An evolutionary explanation suggests self-preservation and survival, i.e. when the hairs stand up it makes the animal look larger and more intimidating, which makes sense. But how does this evolutionary phenomenon apply to humans? Well, it’s thought that human cognition, or the way we mentally acquire and process information, can be best understood in the context of evolution. What this means is that an evolutionary explanation reconstructs the evolutionary history of a structure or behaviour.

If an image of Charles Darwin and his hipster beard has popped into your head, you’re on the right track. His mantra was ‘natural selection’, or ‘survival of the fittest’. If such a theory can be applied to the characteristics, like the colour of a moth, then can it apply to behaviours? Perhaps.

If you were an evolutionary psychologist one of the first things you’d look into is reproductive success. It’s a fundamental concept in all evolutionary theories, i.e. that evolution selects organisms that have the best odds of reproductive success. The reproductive drive from this evolutionary standpoint is instinctive in most species, willing them to survive and produce offspring.

Are humans exempt from this? According to Professor Robert Winston, no. He produced a great documentary series called Human Instinct.

In the follow-up book of the same name he talks about sex and evolution. The very first line is quite blunt, “Most men think about sex every six minutes, while about 20 per cent of women think about sex at least once a day.” It’s a mindboggling statistic! If you do the maths, men think of sex 240

times a day on average, whereas 1 in 5 women will think of it just once in 24 hours. The difference is astounding.

Are we obsessed with sex?

Professor Winston says we are, as we engage in a great deal of activities that are, at a base level, connected with sex and reproduction, things like career, friendship, money and competition.

But hang on, we don’t live in caves anymore. Surely we have evolved since then, surely we are more civilised? Well, yes, we’d like to think so, but the professor has a point. The only reason we are here is that we are at the end of a very long line of sexual success stories. As far as our genes are concerned, reproduction is the whole point.

What does this mean in today’s world? Dare I say that much research suggests that what men seek from women and what women seek from men are very different. Even our caveman, when seeking a mate, looked for maximum reproductive potential, a 0:7 waist to hip ratio and young symmetrical features, while our cavewoman looked for an older male who could provide and would take risks but be altruistic, dependable and faithful, with a square jaw and broad shoulders desirable but not essential.

To look into psychology and reproduction from an evolutionary perspective can be quite fascinating. But, unlike my dog, there is one major difference: we as humans have the ability to reason, and it is this ability to reason and be rational that can lead us to overcome instinct and ultimately evolution. Worth a thought.

Have you got a question?

Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.

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June 2021 The Beast 39

of Instagram costs Facebook essentially nothing. The next person watching YouTube costs Alphabet essentially nothing.

Knowledge is power.

Extraordinary Times Indeed Words Rob Shears Something is happening that has never happened before. The world’s largest companies are accelerating. Microsoft is growing revenues at nearly three times the rate of the last decade. Alphabet is growing faster.

Amazon is growing faster.

This is extraordinary. In the past, when companies became large, their growth naturally slowed down. The law of large numbers took hold. It was difficult for ExxonMobil to find larger oil fields. General Motors had difficulty increasing the number of cars it sold. General Electric proved that growing in size is difficult and has also had issues.

Why are these huge companies accelerating?

Selling electrons around the world is far more profitable and easily scalable than selling cars, planes, trains, oil, insurance and loans. The next user 40 The Beast June 2021

“Software is eating the world” - Mark Andreessen These companies have built global network effect platforms.

As they scale, their network effect becomes stronger and they become far more profitable than the large businesses of yesteryear. The internet is now ubiquitous and the largest companies profiting from this are behemoths.

Data storage and usage via the cloud is the recent growth accelerator for Alphabet, Microsoft and Amazon. Andy Jassy, the new CEO of Amazon, recently stated that cloud currently only accounts for less than 5 per cent of global IT spending. This is likely not the end of the growth cycle; we are probably closer to the beginning.

With machine learning still in its infancy, we expect that there will be increased use of the ‘railways of the internet’; namely Microsoft, Amazon and Alphabet. These flywheel compounders are continuing to innovate and spin their flywheels faster as adoption of their cloud services becomes a larger part of their businesses.

Some have noted that not all of the large internet businesses are positive for society, and there is certainly truth to this notion. Despite this, we also see the enormous positives that some of these companies now offer our global community.

Information is now essentially free 100 years ago, anyone outside the upper ends of society could not afford a formal education.

Without a formal education, it was difficult to climb out of a relatively fixed societal class

structure. Warren Buffett talks about how he won the ovarian lottery being born a white male in a good area of America.

Today, anyone who can afford a $100 tablet and find an internet connection has more free information at their fingertips than John D. Rockefeller did in his extensive libraries.

You can now learn almost anything for free. The classic books are free. You can learn almost anything on YouTube.

Information has been democratised. This will be wonderful for society over the coming decades.

We are hugely confident that some of the future leaders of the world will be those who have been able to educate themselves with free access to information on low cost devices.

With the removal of the information advantage, someone in a poorer country has opportunities in the global economy that previously never existed.

Their struggle is certainly not easy, however it is easier than it previously was and will be even easier in 10 and 20 years to earn an income from global sources. Artists in Africa are selling their art on Redbubble to customers in New York and London. To understand this opportunity is extraordinary.

The world continues to improve over the long-term. Some companies are accelerating this improvement and reaping extreme profits in the meantime.

Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances.

An exciting year ahead.

Making Music: Cassady Southern Words Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter Photo Alex Saad They say once a muso, always a muso, and Cassady Southern’s journey is a testament to that. Growing up in a musical household, she dabbled with song-writing as a youngster, but only dove in, in earnest, around 2010 and has now released her debut album, One Track Mind, over ten years later.

Cassady caught up with The Beast, excited to spruik her new work and looking forward to playing some more gigs in 2021.

“One Track mind is my first full-length album,” she said (it comes off the back of two EPs, Don't ask me and Heart), “so that is very exciting. My focus is now to get out and play live!”

“My music is largely pop rock, with a focus on great rhythm, melodies, lyrics and instrumentation, but interestingly, some of the feedback I’ve had on the new album is that it’s quite country.”

A quick listen will tell you that’s true. You get the feeling Cassady would be well placed in Nashville, Tennessee, the home of country music, or in our very own Tamworth, strumming a golden guitar. For now, she is here in the east though, having moved from Victoria over a decade ago.

“All this time I've lived in the Eastern suburbs - Bondi, Coogee, Maroubra, etc. I just

love being so close to the beach as well as the city.”

“There is some phenomenal talent around Bondi too!

There’s a regular ‘Bondi Jam’ where you can see eye-wateringly good blues with Red Slim, Gav McGrath, and co.”

The blues are an oft’ repeated theme in our interview.

“I was brought up on the blues, including the old Delta Blues, like Robert Johnson, and the amplified Chicago blues, like Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf,” Cassady explains.

“There are many others, like the Stones, Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan, to name a few more. Just really musical musicians who sing and play with a lot of feel.”

“While my music may be a bit more pop and contemporary, I still really feel the influence of this early schooling in the blues.”

While you can listen to One Track Mind now, you should hopefully be able to catch Cassady live around the town soon too.

“For the past couple of years I have been part of a band, and that is something I cherish because it takes a lot of commitment and dedication from members. The line-up includes Peter Austin on guitar, Craig Orth on bass and John Duffy on drums. These are the guys who I recorded with on the new album (as well as guitarist Nathan Cunningham) and they’re total fire!”

And a final word from Cassady, “I just want to shout out to all people supporting or participating in live music in some way, and to thank everyone who has taken the time out to listen to my music and write a review or share it with a friend. In this day and age just to be heard is a reward, and it really validates the process and completes the cycle, if you will. So, thanks!”

June 2021 The Beast 41

Where there's smoke...

In Pursuit of Truth Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Herman Phillips There are some core beliefs that unite us as a tribe here in the East. We love the beach, the lifestyle and the fresh air. We also have the freedom to enjoy all sorts of activities, unrestricted by our locality.

As they mature, we allow our children freedom of movement and we understand that this is important for the development of their independence and self-reliance. We let them explore, and although we worry about their capacity to make good decisions we expect them to return safely. We trust in the infrastructure around us, including safe transportation systems and good policing.

We set our children out in the world knowing that they will be operating within a sound legal and protective framework. We have good government.

What we have never had in our immediate locality is a real fun park. Indeed, in the entire city of Sydney the only such venue has been Luna Park, but for us Easterners it has always been ‘over the bridge’. Notwithstanding this geographic limitation, Luna Park was a magnet for generations of people from our local area. Many 42 The Beast June 2021

of us, as well as our parents and grandparents, tell stories of great days and nights at Luna Park, of the huge slippery slides, breathtaking rides over the water, scary experiences, standing on moving pathways trying to keep a balance, and of laughter and fun.

For the older members of our community, the fun came to an abrupt halt in 1979 when a fire destroyed the park and took the lives of innocents, including four Waverley College students: Jonathan Billings, Richard Carroll, Michael Johnson and Seamus Reilly. The fire also killed John Godson and his two children, Damien and Craig.

Naturally, it was the death of the four Waverley College boys that attracted the most attention in the Eastern Suburbs.

The memorial to these boys within the chapel at Waverley College has provided a continuing reminder of their loss for the generations to follow.

While most in our community accepted the tragic story at face value - that an accidental fire had occurred - it has sincebecome evident that the Luna Park fire was almost certainly the result of a deliberate, calcu-

lated and criminal act. We must acknowledge and thank the amazing ABC staff who revealed the truth of this story, including Caro Meldrum-Hana, Patrick Begley and Jaya Balendra.

Many members of our community were directly affected by the Luna Park fire. Parents, siblings and relatives still feel the pain, and friends, teachers and many others still feel a connection with this tragic event.

The aftermath lingers on.

Even before the recent revelations that an intentional fire probably caused the death of seven innocents and the destruction of a Sydney icon, that fateful day had cast a long, dark shadow. Since 1979, Luna Park has not been perceived as a fun place to visit by many people, especially those who witnessed the fire.

The excellent ABC exposé has shone a new and informed light on the Luna Park fire and has raised important questions and concerns regarding the role of criminals in the fire occurring and the role of police, politicians and other influential people in its cover-up. The NSW Coroner has recently requested that NSW Police review their evidence surrounding the fire.

For these reasons, I have requested that the NSW Government conducts a new, independent special commission of inquiry into both the events of Luna Park in 1979 and into the subsequent investigation by the NSW Police. In the absence of a special commission of inquiry, a second inquest must be conducted.

The truth is important, and it is the very least that we can offer to the families and friends of the seven people who visited a fun park and never came home.

If you have any concerns about the issues I have raised in this article, please contact my office on 9398 1822.

Coogee Voice

Tune into our community podcast, Coogee Voice, that covers all things Eastern Suburbs. You can find it on your favourite podcast streaming app!

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP

Member for Coogee If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.

To fill out my community survey, scan this QR code!

Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.

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Winter comfort at it’s best.

Ginger Lemon Chicken Noodle Soup Words and Photo Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine Soup season is in full swing, and this deliciously satisfying Chinese soup has always been a favourite. Inspired by traditional Cantonese flavours, it’s fragrant and delicate, with silky noodles to give it body.

The success of the soup is all about the broth and balancing flavours. It’s not a complex recipe and can be made in a large batch. Comfort at it’s best.

Ingredients 60gm fresh ginger, peeled and sliced Juice of ½ lemon 1 star anise ¼ cup soy sauce 3 spring onion, ends removed and bruised with the knife 250gm egg noodles 2 large chicken breast, approx.

250gm each 1 bunch Chinese choy sum, cut in large pieces Handful of bean sprouts 46 The Beast June 2021

2 litres chicken stock 500ml water To serve: 1 chilli, finely sliced Bunch of fresh coriander 1 spring onion, sliced finely Drizzle of soy if desired Wedge of lemon Method 1. In a large pot, add the stock, water, juice of ½ lemon, spring onion, ginger, soy, star anise and chicken breast. On medium heat, bring to the boil, then turn down to a simmer. Cook for 15 minutes or until the poached chicken is cooked through.

2. Remove from the heat and take the chicken out. When cooled a little, shred the chicken with a fork.

3. Into another pot, strain the stock, discarding the ginger, shallots and star anise. Return the pot to the stove over me-

dium heat and add the egg noodles, using a fork to separate them. Cook for 3-4 minutes.

4. Add the choy sum and cook for 3 minutes. Add the shredded chicken back to the pot, along with the bean sprouts, and cook for a further minute.

5. Remove from the heat. Ladel into bowls and add chilli, coriander, spring onion, a drizzle of soy and a squeeze of lemon to serve.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family.

She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

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LONDON GRAMMAR Californian Soil Label Ministry of Sound Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Picture yourself in your favourite Game of Thrones scenes (unless it’s one of the psychotic sex scenes, you weirdo). The scene has ended, you’re covered in blood and you’ve just achieved something heroically epic, but at what cost? Well, this is the soundtrack. The whole album is like a long, slow walk through a grandiose landscape, perfect for a road trip on a dreary day. It also reminds me of being forced to sit in church and listen to old Gladys play the organ when I was younger, which is a little disconcerting, but in fairness, Gladys could play!

WE SET SAIL Ritual and Ceremony Label Kill the Music/False Peak Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

THE UNITED STATES VS. BILLIE HOLIDAY Genre Drama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador The United States vs. Billie Holiday is not a detailed story of Billie Holiday’s life. It is, as director Lee Daniels (Precious) said, “A moment in time of her life,” but unfortunately not a very pleasant one. Part fact, part fiction, it is inspired by Johann Hari’s book, Chasing the Scream. As the film’s title suggests, it focuses on the government’s relentless targeting and persecution of legendary jazz singer Billie Holiday during the last decade of her life.

The FBI conspires to prevent Holiday from performing the simple yet harrowing protest song titled Strange Fruit for fear of it inciting civil unrest, but Holiday will not be silenced and so endures more injustices in the name of equality. In her lead role debut, singer Andra Day beguiles us as Holiday, depicting her vulnerability, fearlessness and determination to not be a victim despite her tumultuous life of abusive relationships and drug addictions.

Although uneven in its storytelling structure, it does not lessen the fact that it is a provocative film that shows that Holiday not only had a unique voice but also the courage to use it.

48 The Beast June 2021

Have you ever gotten so lost in thought while doing the dishes, that you stood staring at the wall drying the same cup over and over? Yes? Then this is the album for you! It’s unlikely anyone under thirty listens to this sort of music anymore, but if you ever did, Ritual and Ceremony is a nice journey back to the melancholic angst of the late ‘90s and early 2000s. Clocking in at over an hour, you get the feeling a lot of work went into it. It’s a monumental exploration of torn jeans, Converse shoes, and sad grunge.

GENESIS OWUSU Smiling With No Teeth Label House Anxiety/Ourness Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Genesis Owusu may be the smartest man alive.

Smiling With No Teeth is emotionally and lyrically astrophysical. It’s got more layers than an excited grandmother’s trifle, but rather than leaving you sickly afterwards, you’ll be craving more. From the cover, you’d be forgiven for thinking it is a straight up rap album, but it is so much more; it’s funk, it’s post-punk, it’s ‘80s pop! I heard a lot of N.E.R.D. and strangely, quite a few British influences, like Bloc Party and Ghostpoet. I’m going to start lying and tell people I’ve been into this guy for years.

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ACROSS 1. Large, semiaquatic mammal that kills lots of Africans (12) 7. Melee (5) 8. Begin a journey (3,3) 9. Phrase often associated with a wedding (1,2) 10. Cook; ridicule (colloq.) (5) 11. Relating to milk; acid substance (6) 12. Connected to the sea (8) 13. Surfing manoeuvre (4,3) 14. Small space offering privacy often associated with study rooms (4) 15. Drive someone out (4) 17. Password for bank card (1,1,1) 19. Feel intense desire for something or someone (5)

20. To add another ... to one’s bow, means to gain a new skill (6) DOWN 1. Small items used in sewing (12) 2. 2006 film The Devil Wears ... (5) 3. Total destruction (12) 4. The property of being out of date (12) 5. File linked to an email (10) 6. What a yegg or yeggman partakes in (4-8) 12. Motivational chant (6) 16. Audi car that inspired the futuristic cars from I-Robot (1,1) 17. Approximately equal to 3.14159 (2) 18. Not out (2)

Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Svetlana Asatryan Instagram @bondi_beach_life 1. What is the name for a word or number that is the same forwards as it is backwards?

2. What is the name for a word that has a different pronunciation and meaning from another word but the same spelling (e.g. Polish and polish)?

3. “To work like a dog” is an example of which literary

technique?

4. What is the term for a word that phonetically imitates the sound it describes (bonus point for correct spelling)?

5. What does ‘hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’ mean?

6. What is the term for the repetition of consonant sounds?

7. What is the term for the repetition of vowel sounds?

8. What is the term for the repetition of “s” sounds?

9. “The curtain of night fell upon us” is an example of what literary technique?

10. “Lightning danced across the sky” is an example of what literary technique?

Dawn patrol.

June 2021 The Beast 49

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Discovering your mum’s arsenal of dillies will make this month a very confronting time for your entire family.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Join a winter swimming club.

Being forced to look at your sloppy rig every week should be enough to halt the blowout.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Take a moment to realise how lucky you are to live here, even though you can’t afford to buy a home without your parents’ help.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Stop trying to cook at home and leave it to the experts. Life is way too short to eat crap food, even if it is only half the price.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Don’t use your Section 10 up on a minor infringement if you’re planning on committing a more serious crime down the track.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Your current living arrangement is making you miserable. It’s time to sort your life out before you end up murdering someone.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Mutual blackhead management is the epitome of a symbiotic relationship and should be embraced by all couples.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Learn to play chess. Not only will it waste away hours of your time, it will also help you to outsmart and destroy your foes.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Don’t give your friends or family investment advice unless you are prepared to take the blame when it all goes to shit.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Put all of your eggs in one basket, because there will always be some idiot willing to pay more than what you forked out.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Don’t be embarrassed about doing the bowel cancer test. Poking little sticks into your nuggets could end up saving your life.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Sick of all the barking? You’re better off poisoning your neighbour than harming their dog; they’ll just buy another one.

Star Signs

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1. Palindrome 2. Heteronym (or heterophone) 3. Simile 4. Onomatopoeia 5. Fear of long words 6. Alliteration 7. Assonance 8. Sibilance 9. Metaphor 10. Personification 1

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50 The Beast June 2021

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