The Beast - July 2022

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July 2022

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Celebrate Bastille Day! Bring your picnic blanket and be transported to France at our Bastille Day community celebration, featuring delicious French food, market stalls and live entertainment.

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Welcome Note

Feeling Tropical Words James Hutton @thebeastmag Welcome to the July 2022 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s gale-force beaches of the east. It’s been a cold start to winter this year, but at least we have the option to jump on a plane and escape to somewhere tropical again (like Bali for example, where I am currently sitting under an umbrella typing this welcome note).

Bondi artist Marko Hrubyj-Piper is the artistic talent behind this edition’s cover painting of Bronte Pool (I’m pretty sure it’s still for sale too, so flick me an email if you’re interested). You can see more of Marko’s work on his Instagram (@marko.h.p) or by visiting his flash new website, www.markohp.com.

As you’ll be able to see from all of our advertisers’ awesome artwork in this edition of The Beast, there’s a heck of a lot of stuff going on around the Eastern Suburbs in July. There’s nowhere

8 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

else in Australia where you can enjoy as many free community events as you can right here, and I strongly encourage everyone to get along to as many of these as possible and make the most of the epic opportunites our local councils and businesses provide.

On a final note, I’d like to congratulate Allegra Spender and Matt Thistlethwaite for winning Wentworth and Kingsford Smith in the recent federal election, as well as former NSW MLC David Shoebridge on his election to the Upper House.

I’m sorry to see Dave Sharma go. He has been a bloody good local member - probably the best we’ve had - and an absolute pleasure to work with, but the Liberal leadership left him little chance and Allegra and her grassroots army were simply unstoppable. It’s a shame we can’t have them both.

Cheers, James

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor james@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 60,000 copies are delivered every month; 58,000 are placed in mailboxes and 2,000 in local shops.

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Letters to the Editor We want to hear from you!

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.

Pop-Up Pedal Parks are back!

June to August, 2022 Clovelly Beach car park Chifley Sports Reserve car park South Maroubra Beach car park Find out more

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CONTENTS July 2022 Issue 210

08 Welcome Note 10 Contents 12 Pearls of Wisdom 14 Monthly Mailbag 20 Local News 26 Crime News 28 Local Photos 30 Local Artist 32 Unreliable Guide 34 Satire 36 Money Matters 38 Headnoise 40 The Cynic 42 Marj's Musings 44 Fishing Report 45 Tide Chart 46 Dana's Recipe 48 Brainteasers 49 Reviews 50 Beardy from Hell 50 Trivia Solutions

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Pearls of Wisdom

Prime Minister Albo looking the part.

A Few Home Truths Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Montgomery Burns Never one to be modest, Pearl takes full credit for two outcomes of the 2022 federal election. Firstly, there is no doubt that my pothole column in the June 2022 edition of The Beast played some part in preventing the former Transport Minister for NSW, Andrew Constance, from winning the marginal seat of Gilmore based on his ridiculous $40 million pothole-based election strategy for the Shoalhaven district. Secondly, the rumour of Pearl being “a well known activist for Labor and The Greens” turned out to be true. I must admit, however, to being totally off kilter with my prediction that Craig Kelly would be “our next Prime Minister” (his full page media ads were very persuasive); instead of eating humble pie and ques12 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

tioning my prophetical skills, I feel terribly cheated.

Pearl, it seems, is not the only one feeling cheated by the result of the federal election.

Rich people, champions of industry, the Institute of Public Affairs and Sky News are catastrophising that the Albanese Government will raise taxes, destroy the economy and primary industries (as if the powerful players within the rural sector haven’t already done so through water harvesting practices) and allow the green ogres to eat the rich and the teals to destroy the democratic process through wokeness and virtue signaling.

It was bad enough that we had to suffer the desperate and pathetic portents of conservative commentators prior to the election, those harbingers of

doom who truly believe that the governance of Australia is the birthright of the LNP and that any alternative will destroy our way of life. The Australian took a paternalist, Murdoch-knowsbest approach, threatening the populace that “the most destructive, harmful and dangerous vote anyone can make in the forthcoming election is for a teal independent or The Greens”. Dangerous to whom, Pearl asks?

To the spoilt brats and sore losers, Pearl has a few home truths to communicate.

One - Australia is a democracy and the LNP lost the election. Perhaps your views would be better served under a benevolent dictatorship funded by mining interests, the two major supermarkets, the banks, Wesfarmers and the right-wing media.

Two - Australia’s imminent economic collapse has been greatly exaggerated and I have been waiting since 2009 for humpies occupied by Rose Bay burghers to appear on the Eastern Suburbs coastline.

Three - Stop the greed. Greed is the very thing that threatens to destroy the Australian way of life - not wokeness, virtue signaling or koala crusaders.

We can already see the impact of greed in our overblown housing market, property development failures, NDIS and ACAT rorting, misconduct in the financial services industry and Job Keeper scamming.

There is obviously a huge fear among the sore losers that not only will the ALP impact their indulgent lifestyle and threaten their wealth, but also prevent them feeding at the taxpayers’ trough. In the words of my favourite surf writer, Sean Doherty, “enough treating Australia like your personal plaything”. The secret to having more, darlings, is wanting less.

Monthly Mailbag

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Frostbitten People of the Eastern Suburbs NO MORE NETS Hi James - What a bummer to see support for shark nets in the last issue (Should Smart Drum Lines Replace Shark Nets? The Beast, June 2022). Shark nets are actually not a physical barrier, as described in the article. They float mid-water, leaving plenty of room for sharks to swim around them.

When nets do manage to entangle something, who’s to say it’ll even be one of very few species of shark that pose a risk to humans?

Any marine animal unlucky enough to get entangled in them will likely die (hundreds of turtles, rays, harmless sharks, dolphins, etc. do every year).

I’d love to see our surf life saving clubs and this ocean-loving community embrace better technology that doesn’t come with the harm shark nets pose to animals and the ocean ecosystem. Drones, for example, can monitor for sharks without killing harmless animals and actually improve swimmer safety by reducing the risk from not only sharks but rips and other dangers.

It’s time to pull these glorified fishing nets off our beaches - for the sake of people and marine animals. Keep up the great work.

Kelsey North Bondi WHY I VOTED FOR ALLEGRA The election of Allegra Spender represents a much needed trend in our politics. Currently, Putin and Xi are doing a good job reminding us that dictatorships are a very dangerous form of government.

We are lucky to live in a democ-

14 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

racy that preserves our rights and freedoms. But, as they say, “a democracy is only the best of compromises” and we need to be conscious that we must keep it vibrant and relevant.

More recently, our two-party format has soured with the advancement of minor parties, and now they are controlling the policies of the majors. It’s a mess.

The Greens have been challenging the Labor heartland, forcing them to move to the left, deserting its traditional industrial base and paying them no more than lip service. In similar form, the coalition partnership has forced the Liberals into a conservatism that has stymied true liberal values, preventing any major progress.

Global warming is a good example of where our elected representatives have a huge responsibility.

It is not the exclusive domain of the looney left. Practical and viable solutions need to be found. Considering our progress over the last 15 years since 2007, by either side, their actions have simply been shop dressing. And no doubt our new government will crusade ‘to nowhere’ over the next three years.

It is interesting to note that industry is moving forward regardless, ignoring the political hiatus.

We need to have courage to face the negatives and make the best of our positives. There will always be losers, so we must do our best to minimise the social impact but not get held up with demands that if one person is negatively affected all others cannot move forward.

We provide our representatives two houses for debate, but in lat-

ter years they have taken to meeting behind closed doors with the leadership silencing our members with threats like “dissent is death”.

Our elected representatives need to return to the chamber, not just to seek consensus but to educate the public and bring them into the new era.

I know Dave Sharma did his best within his party, however he and other good representatives failed to counter the blackmail approach of their minor coalition partner. It is time to move away from the rigid two-party system, to get some fresh air and public debate. The views and values of Wentworth need to be expressed openly and forthrightly.

I am also pleased to see Allegra has an excellent career background in both business and community organisations, the type of background we should be looking for in our community representatives.

Andrew Goldfinch Bondi Junction SICK AND TIRED OF CLIMATE DENIAL It is always disappointing to be subject to so much climate denial that arrives in my letterbox via the unverified claims in The Beast’s Monthly Mailbag. In response to Gareth from Bellevue Hill’s letter (Rain! Response, The Beast, June 2022), while he acknowledges the world is warming, he wilfully ignores the impact of Australia’s - one of the worlds largest coal exporters - scope 3 emissions, i.e. the emissions from coal that we sell to be burned in other countries.

If he is so worried about us being invaded for our resources, why is he not concerned about the multinationals already pillaging our sovereign resources and who pay no tax? Why is it okay for taxpayers to fund the disaster relief efforts caused by this industry when it far outweighs the benefits?

Australia consistently ranks dead last in the world for our climate policies and I am so tired of this misinformation getting a run.

Stephanie Bondi

Monthly Mailbag WHINGING BOOMERS Dear Beast - Could council please do something about whinging boomers on our beaches? Today I counted six, all whinging, snarling and writing articles to The Beast about my dog.

There are many better things to do with your day, and they’re all ignored by these boomers. If someone has a good time at the beach with their dog, someone has to complain about it. The Beast could be sued for having to post such boring content. Think of their integrity! I doubt people read such great magazines to hear the sound of a boomer having a whinge.

If you decide to be a boomer, make sure you pick up a constructive hobby and don’t leave yourself to bark and snarl at the happy things in life.

Harry Clovelly FACT CHECKING Hi Beast - Nat Shepherd’s most recent article (Unreliable Guide to Politics, The Beast, June 2022) cited an interesting choice of experts on how democracy works.

Nat’s ‘guide’ closes with a quote supposedly from infamous 20th century Russian dictator and mass-murderer of Ukrainians, Joseph Stalin. Nat says Stalin “once revealed” (as if he would know) that vote counters - not vote casters - “decide everything” in an election. Except he didn’t say that.

Fact checkers have searched Stalin’s writings and speeches in detail. They’ve shown Nat’s supposed quote to not be Stalin’s words at all. But obviously if you want to cast doubt on a properly run election in a functioning democracy, a dodgy quote from one of the world’s worst dictators is your go-to. Donald Trump, who loves a good stolen election conspiracy, would be pleased.

Maybe your writer should work at a polling booth (in Australia, not Russia) one election. Then they’d see first-hand the care taken counting votes. And I’d suggest a more authoritative source than Stalin on how Australian elections work would be Professor Judith

16 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

Brett, Australian academic and writer of the excellent book, From Secret Ballot to Democracy Sausage. Just saying.

Carrie Bengston Clovelly JOURNEY THE WAVERLEY ESTATE On Sunday, May 22, Uniting held tours of the War Memorial Hospital site. I wish to correct an error that was communicated by staff from the development arm of Uniting. A friend who went on a tour reported that the staff wished to focus only on the heritage aspects of the site and were not happy when she raised the issue of the fate of current residents.

Contrary to what these staff reportedly said, the residents are not “temporary”; many have lived on the site for close on 20 years.

In addition, a group of seven or so bought into the retirement village in 2015-16 with the understanding that that it would be their last move, that it would be their permanent residency.

It was apparently also announced by these staff that by the time construction began, the residents would all be in aged care - so presumably it would not be a problem.

Why does the development arm of Uniting continue to deny the existence of residents - long-term or otherwise - living on the site?

This is, at best, misleading. At worst, it calls their honesty into question. Moreover, do they not understand - or care - how hurtful it is to feel that we do not exist?

Does the social services arm of Uniting condone this insulting attitude? It would be good to hear from them.

Jennifer Waverley BRING BACK TAFE TAFE, for many decades, was solid proof of all that was good in Australia. It was free, apart from $1 annual fee for amenities (heavily subsidising TAFE canteens), teachers were experts in their fields, morale was always high, the students qualified as thoroughly competent tradespeople, completely trustworthy.

That is, until the Libs decided it was against their ideology to allow the average person a valuable education. I don’t know which part of the IPA manifesto says to make education unavailable to the unwashed masses wherever possible - maybe it’s just a Murdoch thing - but the Libs’ targeting of state schools and tertiary education to deprive the ordinary person of a decent education is no accident.

Firstly with TAFE they introduced fees, then they set about the systematic, deliberate and cruel destruction of the TAFE system.

Cruelty (which seems to be a prerequisite for Liberal preselection), reduced funding, making teachers compete against other teachers for jobs they already had (creating a crisis in morale), making TAFE departments compete against the private sector... all the while having no plan except privatisation.

Putting people through this pain, knowing they were replacing TAFE with private colleges and that it was an empty and futile exercise.

The very first private college went bankrupt after ten ‘diplomates’ were produced - cheap, at only $1 million per student.

Cheap, because the rest of these colleges seemed to stash away at least $40 million before pulling the plug. And their student recruitment methods were to bully and harass individuals into signing up, causing distress and financial hardship to people with no possibility of handling the courses.

The NSW Minister for Education was making a speech lauding the current favourite private college as 243 per cent more efficient than TAFE had been at the very moment its furniture and equipment was being repossessed!

You guessed it, the $40 million had disappeared and the owners had declared bankruptcy.

I don’t think there have been any competent tradesmen produced since TAFE was gutted, except from the few remaining TAFE courses that had somehow survived the demolition wrecking ball. Labor is promising to go back to the old days. Free TAFE. Pamela Maroubra

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www.kensingtonkitchensandbathrooms.com.au Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 17

Monthly Mailbag ARDEN STREET COOGEE AMENITIES BUILDINGS Dear Beast - Randwick Council recently sent an email circular announcing proposed changes affecting the amenities buildings (bus shelter and kiosk) located in Arden Street, Coogee, near the intersection with Coogee Bay Road.

Council’s stated intention is to remove the existing buildings and replace them with new amenities buildings. While improvements and additions are certainly needed, there is no reason or excuse to demolish these buildings - repair and re-use!

There are other new and restored structures around Coogee Beach that reflect the history of the area to residents and visitors, such as the picnic shelters that were designed to fit the heritage of the beach area. Coogee Pavilion is a significant building, restored and made fit for contemporary purposes. Wylie’s Baths has been beautifully restored. The grandstand in the oval was relocated from another sports ground to emphasise the heritage nature of Coogee. Council

18 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

has previously been careful to preserve the landscape around Coogee Beach, especially in locating new amenities below the sightline from the park to the beach, and in re-planting and maintaining the beautiful Norfolk Island pines.

Sydney has many architects who can restore and reinvigorate heritage spaces. I think particularly of Tonkin Zulaikha Greer’s work on the Reservoir Gardens in Paddington, and the arts hub in the newly opened second wharf at Walsh Bay. Council ran a survey and public meetings, unfortunately in early June, before this edition of The Beast was distributed. However Beast readers certainly have form in making their opinions known to Council - I recommend you do so by any means available to you.

I call on Randwick Council to respect the history and heritage of Coogee Beach with repair and renewal of the existing buildings and a sensitive approach to the new facilities proposed for the site.

Sandra Alexander Clovelly

LOCAL POETRY INNOCENT My grandson spreads diseases most freely when he sneezes but he is small and sweet so he does what he pleases.

He babbles but can’t talk, he’s yet to crawl or walk so we don’t yet expect the use of spoon or fork.

In time, he’ll use his hands and face untold demands but now he’s free to be; we jump to his commands.

Thomas Jones North Bondi PROVERBIAL The rich man looking through the eye of a needle saw the straw that broke the camel’s back in the haystack but was no closer to heaven.

Murray Cox Bondi ¢

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au.

Local News

The historic Cinesound Productions in Bondi Junction.

Pork Barreling Hits New Lows - MP Words Anthony Maguire Photo National Film and Sound Archive Coogee MP Dr Marjorie O’Neill has lashed out at the NSW Government for denying Labor electorates a place in a commemorative plaque scheme.

Called the Blue Plaques program, it involves the installation of engraved, 300mm diameter enamel and metal discs in places of historical significance. It is funded by the State Government from a $5 million budget and run by Heritage NSW. Dr O’Neill said that “of the 17 blue plaques announced for the latest round of the program, not one was placed in a Labor electorate.” She said this was an insult to community members who had put time and effort into preparing nominations.

There are 14 plaques going in coalition-held electorates, two in independent seats and another in Barwon, held by the Shooters, Fishers and Farmers.

Dr O’Neill said she felt “disgusted” that the selection process had been politicised. And her colleague, Shadow Minister 20 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

for the Arts and Heritage Walt Secord, was damning in his assessment of the program when he spoke in State Parliament. Mr Secord said it was another example of the “partisanship shown by the Perrottet Government” and called for rejected applicants from Labor electorates to be given the chance to be reassessed.

“Somehow - at least, according to this government - there are no great stories, no great events and no great remembrances that happened in Labor electorates,” Mr Secord told the Upper House. “There is not one, despite 763 community nominations to the program.

“Last year we saw disgraceful behaviour in the distribution of arts, culture and community grants. We now see the continued politicisation of Australian history and culture.”

One of the local nominations that was knocked back was a plaque honouring Cinesound Productions, a movie studio that played a major part in Australia’s emerging film industry in the

1930s and 1940s. It was located in Ebley Street, Bondi Junction.

Films shot there include the colonial drama The Squatter’s Daughter (1933) and the Depression musical Strike Me Lucky (1934), starring popular Jewish comedian Roy Rene in his only film role. Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos put painstaking hours into collating materials for that application, only to have her time and effort wasted.

Nor does the State Government think it is worth commemorating Julian Rossi Ashton, a prominent landscape artist in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.

In 1924 he was awarded the Society of Artists’ medal for distinguished services to Australian art and was honoured with a CBE in 1930. The problem, for the Blue Plaques selectors, could be the fact that Ashton lived in Tamarama, where he established an artists’ colony - sorry, it’s a staunchly Labor electorate, you don’t qualify.

A spokesperson for Heritage NSW denied that the selection process had been politicised, saying all nominations go through “a rigorous fact checking and verification process, including by independent historians before being recommended for decision.”

The spokesperson added that one of the four plaques in the first round of allocations last year had been in Maitland, a Labor electorate, and it had been nominated by the NSW Government.

“That’s not good enough,” Marjorie O’Neill said. “The latest nominations need to be reassessed without political interference.”

“Our community is so proud of its local heritage and history.

These places should be conserved and memorialised for our community and for future generations,” she added.

ON EXHIBITION

Randwick Comprehensive Planning Proposal

Local Environmental Plan (LEP) Review Randwick City Council has developed a Comprehensive Planning Proposal (CPP) to update the Randwick Local Environmental Plan 2012 (LEP 2012), to align with the strategic direction and planning priorities of State, metropolitan and local strategies, as directed by the NSW Government.

The changes include proposed new housing areas, strengthening controls for vibrant business precincts and measures for a diverse and safe night time economy.

HARD COPIES OF DOCUMENTS CAN BE VIEWED AT: Council’s Customer Service Centre 30 Frances Street, Randwick 8:30am – 5:00pm Monday to Friday (excl. public holidays) Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra During library hours Malabar Library 1203 Anzac Parade, Matraville During library hours Margaret Martin Library Level 1, Royal Randwick Shopping Centre During library hours

SPEAK TO US AT A DROP-IN SESSION: Royal Randwick Shopping Centre Thursday 16 June Friday 17 June Saturday 18 June 11am – 2pm each day Kensington Park Community Centre Thursday 23 June 2.30 – 4.30pm Saturday 9 July 1 – 3pm Pacific Square Shopping Centre Tuesday 28 June Wednesday 29 June Thursday 30 June 11am – 2pm each day

Council is under direction by the NSW Government to meet mandated housing targets. While Council objects to mandated housing targets, Council has responded by identifying areas where new growth can be accommodated in a sustainable and balanced way.

• Comments can be made online via our website yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au/ LEP2022 • Via email to council@randwick.nsw.gov.au • by post to the General Manager, Randwick City Council, 30 Frances Street, Randwick NSW 2031. Comments should be clearly headed ‘Randwick City Comprehensive Planning Proposal’.

View the proposed LEP changes and provide feedback between 31 May and 12 July 2022.

VIEW THE COMPREHENSIVE PLANNING PROPOSAL ONLINE: yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au/ LEP2022

Local News

The man everyone's been talking about.

Meet Randwick’s Mayor: A Trekkie, and Proud of It Words Anthony Maguire Photo Mark Bond Randwick City’s Labor mayor Dylan Parker is a self-confessed nerd who has watched all but one Star Trek series and who identifies with a character from the Voyager series.

“He’s called Tuvoc,” says Dylan. “He’s a black Vulcan. I like the idea that you can have an alien who looks like me.”

Dylan, 30, gets his complexion from his mother Jen, a New York-born African American. A retired nurse, Jen is the mother of seven children - Dylan, the oldest, has five sisters and one brother. Dylan’s dad Derek runs an art supplies business, Parker Art Supplies, a long-established family concern that has been running now for over 100 years.

The family home is in Petersham and Dylan has been living 22 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

in the south east for almost ten years. For most of that time, he has worked in the office of our state member for Maroubra, Michael Daley.

Dylan’s term as Mayor expires at the end of September next year. At that point he may embark on a new phase of his life, with a career in education.

He is studying to be a school history teacher.

“I’ve always had an interest in global affairs and how we got to where we are and why we do the things we do,” he says. “A knowledge of history helps us to avoid past mistakes.”

His history studies build on his Bachelor’s degree in Political, Economic and Social Sciences, gained at the University of Sydney, where

he also worked for a time. One idea he thinks is important to instil in the next generation is the realisation that “the basic privileges we enjoy are not just automatic”.

What is his take on the latest chapter in Australian history, with Labor’s election triumph?

“A great result,” he says. “It was a good example of a government that didn’t keep with the times - the fact that the public was impatient for change, whether on climate, respect for women or integrity.”

Dylan lives in Maroubra with final year medical student Jocelyn, who is passionate about women’s health.

“That’s the area she will probably go into once her hospital placement finishes later this year.”

One of Dylan’s own passions is the surf. On weekends he can be found on Maroubra beach, where he is a member of Maroubra Surf Life Saving Club. He recently competed in Inflatable Rescue Boat (IRB) races and is involved in beach patrols.

The south east’s coastal location helps make it “the best place in the world” and as councillor he has shown a commitment to keeping it that way, fighting plans for a cruise ship terminal at Yarra Bay, a rubbish incinerator at Matraville and residential overdevelopment by Meriton.

The Beast’s interview with Dylan took place at the Lion and Buffalo café in South Coogee. Just before we wound up, I asked one final, crucial question. Was he named after Bob Dylan?

“Bob Dylan is Dad’s favourite musician and he says I was named after him,” Dylan says.

“But Mum says I was named after Dylan Thomas - there’s some Welsh ancestry in the family.”

Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 23

Advertising Feature

Escape the cold on the Sunshine Coast.

Go Green With a Sunshine Coast Escape Words and Photo Visit Sunshine Coast If you’re looking for blue skies and green experiences, look no further than the Sunshine Coast.

As one of the only places in the world where two biospheres sit side-by-side, this slice of Queensland coastline is steeped in natural beauty.

And it’s not something the locals take for granted, with accommodation providers, tour operators and even restaurants putting sustainability at the forefront of their experiences. Think tours where visitors are encouraged to carbon offset their travel, and accommodation providers where rainwater is captured and recycled and all scraps and green waste composted.

With the temperatures rarely dipping below a balmy 20 degrees during the day, winter is the perfect time to indulge on a guilt-free eco escape to the Sunshine Coast.

Kick off your green adventure in Mooloolaba, where up to 40,000 humpback whales are expected to migrate through Sunshine Coast waters this winter. As well as epic whale watching tours, Mooloolaba was the first destination in Australia to offer a swim with humpback whales experience where you can come face-to-face with these gentle giants in the wild. The life-changing encounter is 100 per cent organic and on the whales’ own terms, meaning it is up to them how close they choose to swim. Sunreef, who operate the tours, are eco certified, and also offer up spots on board each of their tours for researchers.

From there, make tracks for the Hinterland which, as well as being home to some epic great 24 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

walks and rainforest pools, is the perfect place for winter mountain biking.

In fact, the Sunshine Coast’s climate and natural assets helped win the region hosting rights for cycling - road and mountain bike - for the 2032 Olympic Games.

For mountain bikers, the proposed Olympic venue - Parklands in the hinterland - is the best place to test your skills, with over 30 kilometres of twisty tracks that take you through dense forest areas, interspersed with numerous stream crossings, rocky climbs, steep switchbacks and flowing cross-tracks.

Afterwards you’ll be feeling like a drink, so head on down to Terella Brewing. Terella is one of 21 craft breweries found on the Sunshine Coast, which has claimed the title of Australia’s Craft Beer Capital. Here they work closely with a neighbouring vertical farm, using the water produced as a by-product of the grow cells to brew the beer, with the CO2 produced from the fermenting process then reinjected back into the farm.

As well as its UNESCO Biosphere credentials, the Sunshine Coast region is where you’ll find one of only two everglades systems in the world - the Noosa Everglades. Located a half-hour drive from the glitz of Hastings Street, Noosa Everglades is home to more than 40 per cent of bird species found in Australia and waters that shimmer so brightly they are known as ‘the river of mirrors’.

Journey through the twisting waterways with Kanu Kapers, twice voted the best eco tour in Australia. While their kayak and canoe tours are completely ecofriendly, they also encourage visitors to carbon offset their car journey to and from the everglades, with the money raised going back into planting koala habitat.

At the end of the day you’ll want a comfortable place to rest your head, and you’ll sleep peacefully at Glasshouse Eco Lodge knowing their commitment to treading lightly on the environment.

The Eco Lodge is fully self sufficient on water, harvesting rainwater from the roof and recycling grey water to use on their onsite coffee orchard.

They also use eco-sensitive cleaning agents, and compost food and green waste.

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For more information on your Sunshine Coast adventure, go to visitsunshinecoast.com.

THEN COME VISIT US NOW, IN WINTER.

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Crime News

Lock your windows.

Alleged Crimes of the East Words Gary Larson Caddick’s Greed Conwoman Melissa Caddick’s boundless greed has been laid bare in the Liar Liar podcasts made by The Sydney Morning Herald and 60 Minutes.

One of the podcasts gives a tally of the Aladdin’s Cave of designer accessories found by investigators when they raided her Dover Heights house.

Here’s a taste of some of the glitter and gold that fed the 49-year-old’s narcissism: Cartier necklaces, Canturi bracelets, assorted diamond rings, sapphire earrings, cufflinks and enough high-end watches to fill a jewellery store window. There were timepieces by Longines, Breitling, Christian Dior, Cartier, TAG Heuer and Louis Vuitton.

In addition, Federal Police and officials from the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) found a cache of designer bags, clothes and shoes.

There was even designer hand soap by Christian Dior, while in the garage were Caddick’s Merc and husband Anthony Koletti’s Audi, together worth $360,000 that’s how much has been raised through sale of the two cars at auction as liquidators attempt to claw back some of the millions stolen from 72 investors by Caddick. Koletti has now been booted out of the house and it too was due for auction as this edition of The Beast went to press.

26 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

Caddick is believed to have hurled herself off a cliff near the five bedroom, $15-plus million residence in Wallangra Road the day after the place was raided. Three months later, her decomposed foot - encased in a designer ASICS sneaker - was found washed up on a South Coast beach.

She has carved out a place for herself as one of the most notorious Australian criminals of modern times, the subject of huge media coverage and the two-episode TV dramatization Underbelly: Vanishing Act. There have been theories she might have had her foot surgically amputated and could now be walking around with a prosthetic, no doubt inside limited edition sneakers, but all the evidence points to suicide as her web of deceit collapsed around her.

Elderly Man Killed in Hit and Run A 74-year-old man was left for dead after being hit by a vehicle at the intersection of Universal Street and Maloney Streets in Eastlakes.

He was treated at the scene

by NSW Ambulance paramedics before being taken to Prince of Wales Hospital, where he died the next day.

Kingsford Coke Dealer Jailed A man who used his Kingsford garage as a cocaine dealing warehouse has been jailed for five years and nine months.

Downing Centre District Court was told how 30-year-old Kane Reading and his accomplices were arrested after police installed a surveillance device near the Meeks Street garage.

When officers raided the garage, they found four kilos of cocaine, plastic bags and other equipment for divvying it up and almost $20,000 cash. A further $32,905 was seized in Reading’s home.

He was convicted of commercial drug supply alongside Coo-

gee man Jordan Blakeney, 27, who received a lesser sentence of three years and six months.

Also caught in the police net was Reading’s wife Brianna, 28, who walked free after receiving a two year community correction order.

Anaesthetist Sentenced A doctor who punched two men when a stoush about boat parking turned ugly received a two-year community corrections order and a 12-month conditional release order.

Anaesthetist Stephen Klugman, 61, was convicted of two assault charges in Waverley Court. The court heard that when 64-year-old Randwick resident Matt Petersen objected to Klugman’s boat trailer being continually parked in the street, the medico punched him in the face. Mr Petersen fell backwards, hit his head on the road and lost consciousness. Klugman also punched another man who tried to stop the attack.

Peeping Pom A man with a British accent is on the radar of police and residents after being confronted peering into a Randwick home at 10 o’clock on a Saturday night.

Living in the Arthur Street residence are five female university students who had been targeted by the peeper for a number of weeks. Finally, after one of them was in the bathroom and saw a phone pressed against the window glass, they installed a security camera. Days later, the camera picked up the shadowy form of someone lurking outside the bathroom window. One of the girl’s boyfriends was visiting at the time, and he rushed outside to confront the intruder.

Despite the man’s protestations of innocence - he claimed he’d needed to take a leak - the boyfriend punched him a number of times. The man then ran off. He is said to be tall and slim with fair hair and a British accent.

FREE EVENT

BEACH BREAKS Sunday 24 July 2022 11am-4pm Maroubra Beach Don’t miss the Surfing Walk of Fame Induction!

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

Subject The Edge Location Bronte Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Air Ballet Location La Perouse Photographer Mary Lin

Subject Local Heavies Location Coogee Photographer Bob Menzies

Subject Sunny Moon Location Tamarama Photographer Mark Hunter @bondihunter

Subject Hangin' Out Location Bondi Photographer Kate Murphy @plazasuite1

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Sun Splashed Location Maroubra Photographer Matt Brown

Subject Backstreet Birds Location Newtown Photographer Debbie Katz

Subject All That Glitters Location Maroubra Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Icebergs Fountain Location Bondi Photographer Peter Hughes

Subject Balancing Act Location Bondi Junction Photographer Graeme Bogan

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

Local Artist Quilty, Picasso, Gauguin, the Impressionists... to name a few. I try and understand other artists’ creativity, where they are coming from, and get inspired by that.

What are you working on at the moment? I just finished a few works - some cool canoe paintings and a large magical Bronte Pool work that is heading to Studio Gallery. Now I’m back to drawing and figuring out some new ideas for my next series.

Do you have any exhibitions coming up? I’m preparing some work to show with Studio Gallery later this year. I will be giving updates on my Instagram.

Back to the drawing board.

Local Artist...

Marko Hrubyj-Piper from Bondi Interview James Hutton Photo Marko Hrubyj-Piper Bondi’s Marko Hrubyj-Piper is our local artist this month. He recently completed this edition’s cover piece, a beautiful painting of Bronte Pool. Marko shares his local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here?

The first thirty years of my life.

I was born in Paddo Womens Hospital and grew up on Campbell Parade overlooking Bondi.

Why do you live here? Living a walk away from the ocean is a must. There’s a kind of placebo effect that salty air provides.

What's your favourite beach?

Bondi was my first for so many things - my first surf, kiss, swim, job, school, artwork...

What's your favourite eatery?

The Saturday morning farmers market at Bondi is awesome, and a great spot to sit down with friends and do the Good Weekend quiz.

30 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

Where do you like to have a drink? I’m not a big drinker, but it’s worth going to an opening at one of the many amazing galleries we have here in the East.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The Bondi to Bronte walk is a marvel, and I love soft sand running on Bondi beach.

How would you describe your art? I love to draw figures in a landscape setting and want to work the natural dimensions of the figure in a simplistic form, trying to capture something in the moment and convey that into a work of art.

Where can people see your work? Instagram (@marko.h.p), www.markohp.com or through representation at Studio Gallery.

Who are your artistic inspirations? Eric Fischl, Grayson Perry, Nicholas Uribe, Adriane Ghenie, Jenny Saville, Ben

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I was always encouraged to create from a young age and I was really drawn to the artbooks of Egon Schiele and Kandinsky that we had around the house. In my mid-teens I started to excel and seemed to have a knack for making works people were interested in. After being accepted into the HSC ARTEXPRESS and selling artworks I applied to the National Art School and have continued my art journey ever since.

Any other local artists to look out for? Sidney Teodoruk is great, it seems he loves the colour blue.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? It’s different for everyone, but I think constantly upskilling is a must. Find a great teacher and learn, then don’t stop practising.

What do you get up to on the weekends? Wherever the best choc croissants are, that’s where you’ll find me.

Do you have a favourite quote?

“Creativity is mistakes.”

- Grayson Perry.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? No regrets in spending more quality time with good mates.

Unreliable Guide creativity is self-doubt,” and I couldn’t agree more. If you don’t believe in you, who will?

If the key to success is persistence, then the determination that fuels this persistence comes from self-belief. Faith in yourself comes from recognising the fact that you have value as a human being. Once you allow that seemingly simple truth to illuminate your soul you’ll find that you’ll become more self-confident. Nurturing a positive attitude about your talents, qualities, judgment and ability is vital if you want anyone else to recognise these attributes in you. All those self-help gurus focus on this idea (and charge you a fat fee for pointing it out) because it is such a fundamental truth.

Just keep going!

The Unreliable Guide to...

Persistence Words Nat Shepherd Photo Troy Durante The recent, startling election result and my personal success in finally getting a novel accepted by a legit publishing house after seven years of trying (woohoo!!!) has got me thinking about the need for persistence.

The dictionary definition for this stubborn little noun goes like this: “The fact of continuing in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.” It comes, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, from the word for “continuing steadfastly”. Resolute. Firm. Unwavering.

Like many useful things in life (drinking moderately or only eating a couple of squares of chocolate at a time and not the entire bar), being persistent is more easily said than done.

But if we want to succeed at anything competitive (particu32 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

larly music, art, writing, sport, and that most violent of sports, politics), we either need luck, or a great deal of persistence. I’ve been wondering why I kept going, despite a slew of rejections (or worse still, the silence of indifference) and I think it came down to self-belief. I knew deep down that I had something good. It might be raw, it might need a good dollop of luck to help it over the line, but damn it all, if Dan Brown could get published then so could I. If you have ever felt similarly unappreciated for your talents, never fear, The Unreliable Guide is here with some tips and tricks to keep you on your path to glory.

Self-Belief The poet Sylvia Plath wrote that, “The worst enemy to

Enjoy the Journey It’s often claimed that keeping your ‘eyes on the prize’ is what makes people persist, but I think there’s more to it than that. If your goal starts to feel impossibly far away, it’s all too easy to feel disheartened and give up on the whole idea.

That’s why I think it’s vital to enjoy the journey. My goal was to get published, but I love writing so publication was never the only reward. Writing is a daily pleasure, a success in itself.

Whatever your ultimate goal is, I think it’s important to enjoy your practice. Don’t let a lack of tangible results put you off.

Maybe you won’t ever get gold at the Olympics, play the Opera House, be a celebrity chef or win the Archibald, but if you enjoy your running, your music, your art or your cooking, you’re already a success.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide would like to take a cringey Oscar moment to thank you all.

Without you, dear readers, we writers are nothing. Kiss kiss, darlings! xx

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker We have plans to make some improvements in Maroubra later this year and I’m keen to hear your thoughts.

In September, we’ll turn part of McKeon Street, between Marine Parade and Fenton Avenue, into a pedestrianfriendly plaza for six months. We want to create more space for people to enjoy the beachside area and make it easier for businesses to trade on the footpath.

We think the area is perfect for outdoor dining, and if we add public art, music performances and additional street furniture, it will transform the area into a relaxing space for you to meet with friends and neighbours and catch up over a coffee or lunch. If the six-month trial works well, we’ll consider making the change permanent.

Head over to yoursay.randwick.nsw.gov.au before Tuesday 28 June to share your thoughts with us.

I have some exciting news for our younger cycling and scooter enthusiasts – we’ve included the South Maroubra car park as one of our pop-up pedal parks this year, in addition to Clovelly Beach and Chifley Reserve car parks.

They’ll operate until the end of August and will include ramps, jumps and tunnels so you can build your twoand four-wheeled skills.

Beach Breaks, which is also happening in Maroubra, will bring colour and celebration to the coast on Sunday 24 July, starting at 10am. Our annual event celebrates Maroubra as a National Surfing Reserve, which gives us the chance to induct more legends into our Surfing Walk of Fame, so be sure to be there and find out who it will be.

It’s great to have this big community celebration back again after taking a break over the past two years and I’m looking forward to seeing the buzz and excitement it will bring.

Councillor Dylan Parker Mayor of Randwick 1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

What’s On FRIDAYS 1.30PM GARDENING ON THE WILD SIDE

Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street, Randwick Registration required

WEDNESDAY 6 JULY LIBRARY AFTER DARK

6pm, Margaret Martin Library Royal Randwick Shopping Centre, Free

SATURDAY 9 JULY TRADITIONAL BASKET WEAVING WORKSHOP WITH DEIDRE MARTIN

1.30pm, La Perouse Museum 1542 Anzac Parade, La Perouse, $20

SUNDAY 10 JULY BASTILLE DAY

10am-3pm La Perouse Museum 1542 Anzac Parade, La Perouse, Free

SUNDAY 24 JULY BEACH BREAKS 10am-4pm Maroubra Beach Free

Satire

What were they thinking letting this bloke go?

You Own the Rabbitohs Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Russell Crowe Residents of Randwick City will have total control of the South Sydney rugby league team once the Rabbitohs become the first publicly-owned club in the NRL. The Rabbitohs will soon pass into public ownership after it was revealed that Randwick City ratepayers contributed millions of dollars to the Heffron Centre, but will have access to only a small portion of the facility in Maroubra. Instead, senior players will have exclusive use of large parts of the complex every day of the year, except on Mad Monday.

Once the foundation club completes its transfer from Redfern Oval to Heffron Centre in preparation for the 2023 season, residents of Randwick City will take control of the first-grade team.

Ratepayers will have automatic access to a website and an app, and will be able to vote on player selection and positions, coaching appointments and recruitment.

Residents will decide which players are traded and recruited 34 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

during the off-season, subject to salary cap restrictions.

Residents - not the club - would therefore have voted on the proposal to release Dane Gagai and Jaydn Su’a, and to trade Adam Reynolds for an ageing, overrated and underperforming half who was the subject of a police investigation and never actually played for the club.

Randwick locals will also determine the team line-up each week, and will vote on whether the game’s best five-eighth should play at fullback if Latrell is sidelined, and whether Captain Cam should start on the bench. Ownership also allows residents to tell Jason Demetriou how to coach in person, and not just from the comfort of their keyboard, and to centre the team’s tactics around one simple premise: give the ball to Latrell.

The news will undoubtedly please fans of bespectacled Aussie comedians, movie stars in leather sandals and politicians who order their adversaries to ‘sit down boofhead’. But

public ownership also benefits residents who don’t support the Rabbitohs.

Interlopers from the Western Suburbs, The Shire, or worse still, Queensland, can use this unique situation to sabotage Souths and send them toppling out of the finals - as long as the saboteurs pay rates to Randwick City Council.

“We thank the traditional owners, and the Bra Boys, for granting us permission to establish this state-of-theart training centre on their land, and we look forward to delivering a premiership to our supporters in return,” read a statement from the club.

“We also defend the club’s access to the community facility. Players desperately need the enormous section of the building dedicated to tattoo artists, unqualified barbers and our army of lawyers.”

Meanwhile, Randwick City ratepayers have been promised a 20 per cent reduction on council rates if the Rabbitohs don’t win the premiership in 2023.

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Farewells with Feeling “Grandma loved art; we always went to the local gallery together”

At Walter Carter Funerals, we deliver carefully crafted farewells at our boutique Waverley location, or at a place of special meaning to honour your loved one’s memory.

Call our caring team anytime to find out more.

waltercarter.com.au Ph: 02 9389 3499 249 Bronte Rd, Waverley NSW 2024 Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 35

Money Matters

Piece of work.

How to Avoid Being the Patsy Words Rob Shears Photo Bernie Madoff The terrible tales of Melissa Caddick’s exploits have shaken fear into several people who sought financial advice from me recently. With the right checks you can significantly reduce your risk, but sadly there will always be crooks in finance.

Here are some ways to avoid being the patsy...

1. Check the ASIC register.

Melissa wasn’t a registered adviser.

2. Be cautious of sales techniques. The excellent book Influence by Robert Cialdini highlights techniques to influence others. Read this book and avoid those that abuse these techniques. Pressure sales from fake scarcity is a common technique to suck more money into their schemes. If you hear the words, “If you don’t get in now, you’ll miss out,” run away.

36 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

3. Be wary of complex schemes.

The fallout from the GFC had many complex funds locked up. Many frauds hide behind complexity. Prefer transparent investments.

4. If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

5. Know what the markets have returned and be wary of extreme results.

6. Overly smooth results can be a red flag. Bernie Maddoff’s results were simply too consistent.

7. High interest rates can mean very high risk. Compare it to mortgage rates. If it is significantly higher, think of how risky it must be.

8. Log in to your account on your platform. Do not accept only a PDF for your account details.

9. Educate yourself. The ASIC website moneysmart.gov.au is great place to start.

At a time when some are shying away from financial advice, the need for good advice is increasing due to increasing wealth. The compliance burden is leading to a significant reduction in the number of advisers.

Over two thirds of financial advisers will soon have left the industry. Those that remain have been increasing fees. This is driving many to follow finfluencers for their finance management. There are some great finfluencers, however there are many terrible ones. Some are leading people like sheep into likely disasters such as crypto and speculative companies.

The importance of good financial advice cannot be understated. A good adviser can change your life for the better.

We have had clients whose total and permanent disability insurance set them up for a comfortable life, yet without advice they would not have applied for this insurance.

Insurance, asset structuring and estate planning are areas that most know little about yet often have great need for. We have saved hundreds of thousands in tax for a client’s estate due to correct restructuring of their assets. Most think about upside and the good times, few plan for setbacks. Many who manage their own finances are like playing soccer with all forwards, no backs and no keeper. Professional advice can fill these gaps.

Rob Shears is an Authorised Representative of Valor Financial Group (AFSL 405452). This advice is general and does not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

You should consider whether the advice is suitable for you and your personal circumstances.

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Headnoise

Definitely not a long-term solution.

The Urge Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Jack Daniels Winter has arrived, and it seems like it wants to leave its mark. Having managed to dodge COVID thus far, the flu came in full force and smacked me fair across the face. What does one do when confined to the couch? Binge TV, of course. With the trusty remote in one hand, panadol in the other, I flicked through the channels in search of something not too taxing and found a 2019 documentary on Diego Maradona. Despite his achievements, it turned out to be more about the struggles he faced trying to cope with his drug use. Love him or loathe him, the doco really does show the power and brutality when someone finds themselves on that slippery slope of addiction.

The word ‘addiction’ has quite a history. Carl Fisher’s book, The Urge, points out that the term’s original meaning was quite different from where it sits today. Originally, the word ‘addiction’ was used throughout early modern Europe in a religious context, where addiction was to attach oneself to something or someone, giving it both positive and negative connotations. This attachment, more often to an object, was seen during this time to swing more in the positive direction, representing goodness and a way of showing devotion. In this sense the addict was someone who did good.

Today, however, its meaning is very different, with more of a negative connotation and all the stereotypes. Even if one were to say they were addicted to chocolate, it would not necessarily be received in a positive light. If we were to research the term in a psychological fashion you would find that addiction involves having exposure to something,

38 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

then changing your behaviour to seek and repeat the experience. It all sounds benign so far, but the trouble is that once this pattern of behaviour has been established a habit is formed, which in turn leads to the addiction. If this behavior has negative consequences, then ‘bingo’, the addiction label gets applied.

So, what does this mean for the layperson that finds themselves with an addiction? To answer this qustion I’m prone to ask the guru, Professor Jordan Peterson, but on this topic I find him a little blunt. He states in his first book that if you want to change your life for the better you should “start to stop doing what you know to be wrong”. Well, I’m sorry to say it, but that is kind of obvious. Try telling someone who’s already feeling bad about themselves to stop whatever it is they shouldn’t be doing and they might just tell you to piss off.

Anxiety is an awful feeling, but what we may not know is that it’s a future state. In a general sense we are worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, so to alleviate the pressure we look for other means to quash it. Imagine anxiety as a wave; as the wave approaches, the energy picks up, as does the anxiety. All of us get anxious at some point - it is a natural state - but it’s what we do at the crest of that anxiety wave that can lead us one way or the other. If we ride that wave out in its natural form the energy will eventually dissipate, like whitewash rolling up the sand - the wave has finished, the anxiety reduced. The thing is, if we are uncomfortable at the wave’s crest we could get straight to the sand without having to ride that wave by having a drink or taking a drug. Unfortunately by doing so we are stripping the brain of its natural ability to cope on its own, which means that over time if we keep it up we rewire our brain into the habit of using something artificial to relieve the uncomfortable feeling. Teaching someone to recognise and sit with feeling anxious knowing that the wave naturally dissipates is a start.

Clinging to the back of anxiety is the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is associated with feelings of pleasure. Not surprisinigly, we are prone to want more of it. And here’s the double whammy: in our desire to eliminate bad feelings like anxiety, we do something that artificially makes us feel good (drinking booze, for example). This urge becomes stronger and more dominant and the addictive substance ‘feeds the growth’, leaving one completely reliant on, if not devoted to, the drug’s effect.

Anxiety is just a tiny sliver in the tip of this Titanic sized iceberg. There are many other factors at play including socioeconomic ones that warrant further discussion. I will tackle these in the next edition.

Have you got a question? Please contact Jeremy at bondicounsellingservices.com.

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Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 39

The Cynic

Emancipate yourself from social slavery.

Delete Instagram, Have Longer Lasting Sex and Learn to Levitate Words Jay Houhlias Photo Kevin Systrom By the end of this piece, you should be able to do two of the three things listed in the title (we all know which of the three is impossible, we won’t bother with that one).

Everybody is tired of hearing it, but I’ll take one for team humanity and say it anyway because it needs to be said - we are not smarter than Instagram.

Descending from heaven, George Orwell comes to us with prescient genius in the form of his double think (holding two conflicting beliefs side by side).

Mr. Orwell knew, even then, that we would grow to develop a bipolar affliction when it comes to Instagram - we know it’s bad, but we always use it.

We know it’s terrible for our mental health, yet we have the arrogance to assume we possess the ability to limit and use it in a healthy manner.

We all criticise Instagram while our addiction to it flies by undetected as we convince ourselves that we are exempt from all its negatives. Instagram’s subtle genius is that it tricks you into thinking you are the only one who uses it healthily.

This is because (feel free to pick whichever one applies); you use 40 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

it for work, you are sponsored and make money from it, you have overseas friends who you keep in contact with, you use it as an information source (lol), you use it to vet potential dates, you use it to validate your social status - you use it because it’s bloody obvious and you shouldn’t need to explain yourself to anyone, so screw you or any other fake enlightened person for implying I have a problem with it!

The truth is, Instagram does all these things, and it does them well. It, like all other social media platforms, is a remarkable technology. No one ever said it wasn’t. The point is not to say that Instagram doesn’t have any utility or benefit. The point is that despite that utility and those benefits, a life without it is better - but you still sacrifice a lot when you delete your Instagram. Rather than pretending like you don’t care about it and saying you never use it (but still obsess over it), how about you respect it for the technology that it is and make a conscious decision to live your life without it.

Now, do not mistake deleting Instagram for one of those

rubbish ‘cleanses’ (the very fact that you need to cleanse means you have something dirty to cleanse from). A week off Instagram is not a cleanse, it’s just temporary abstinence. All you’re doing is recharging your batteries so you’re virile and ravenous for Instagram again when the week is over. I have never known someone who goes on a ‘cleanse’ that ends up committing to deleting it properly. Instead, they cleanse for a week, they preach about how good they feel, then when the week is over they are back getting dirty again.

So, without further ado, here is the three-step process to do the aforementioned in the title.

Wait until you have a moment of absolute certainty (f*ck it, I’m deleting Instagram!), but instead of rationalising yourself out of it like you always do, just go out on a whim and delete it - two minutes of stupid, irrational courage is all it takes.

You’ll regret it immediately after, but you already deleted it, so there is nothing you can do about it now.

Train yourself. This is the hard part. Now that Instagram is gone, you must train your life without it. This means no stalking, no judging, no silly messages, no online politics.

Your brain will adjust, and it will gradually start to see actual human beings and their personalities which, low and behold, will be the only way to gauge who someone is. *Just note, if you spend three hours a day on Instagram and then you delete it, it doesn’t mean you gain an extra three hours a day; your brain will find something else dumb to waste that three hours on.

Jump very high, and when midair, assume a crossed-legged position. Hope for the best and really focus hard - try to not come back to the ground.

Country Day Saturday July 9th Remaining 2022 Home Fixtures Join us down at Easts Rugby Club for Country Day as we take on Eastwood with finals fast approaching!

A great day of family fun including live bands, jumping castles, face painting, DJs, champagne bar and much more!

July 9th v EASTWOOD COUNTRY DAY July 23rd v GORDON INDIGENOUS ROUND July 30th v HUNTER WILDFIRES WAHU JUNIOR'S DAY

Easts v Eastwood - Country Day Saturday July 9th 2022 1st Grade kick off 3:05PM

Buy tickets now www.eastsrugby.com.au

VS

Marj's Musings

Out of reach.

An Affordable Roof Over Our Heads Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Tom Farrar As I travel around the bustling streets of our local area, speaking to residents about things on their mind in this changing and uncertain world, the subject of affordable housing keeps coming up. People are concerned about their friends, their kids, their older relatives and essential workers needed in our area to provide decent services and the life we all deserve. The virtual non-existence of affordable housing in much of the Eastern Suburbs points to one thing; that the NSW State Government’s development and planning policies are not working for us.

In recent years we have experienced a significant increase in population density, yet we have not achieved the more diversified and sustainable local population needed to service that density. Despite density, we’ve not been able to provide housing for essential workers needed in our critical public facilities like hospitals and schools.

The Coogee electorate has the second highest density in NSW, with 8,829 people per square kilometre in 2021, compared with 6,162 in 2015. Starkly, this substantial growth hasn’t been accompanied by any meaningful

42 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

rise in affordable housing. In fact, the opposite has occurred.

Housing has become even more expensive, driving low income workers out. Median property prices range from $3,705,000 for houses to $1,444,000 for units. While there was a decline in rents during COVID, they are now rising again, quickly.

Houses in Coogee rent for $1,397 per week while units rent from $670 per week.

We’re getting the problems caused by density, like congestion and increased demand on our public facilities, but we’re not being compensated via appropriate state government policies to offset these problems.

We need another high school.

Our hospitals, aged care and childcare are at breaking point.

Our infrastructure and services are struggling to keep pace with rapid growth as the Perrottet Government pork-barrels money elsewhere on election promises, while our suburbs are neglected.

While government might anticipate that poorly paid essential workers will endure long travel times to service expensive areas, we know that given the opportunity they will choose to work closer to their affordable housing. We are talking about nurses, hospital porters, cleaners and cooks who take care of us and our family members when we need them, forced to travel hours on end after gruelling shifts, day and night. Teachers, fire fighters, garbage collectors...

Our capacity to house workers needed to staff our essential services continues to decline. Young people, students and essential workers are pushed away from families and places of work by a government that does not care.

Well, myself and most people I speak to in the local area do care. It’s time we stood for some meaningful change. A strong and vibrant society exhibits cultural and economic diversity, and that’s what we should be striving for.

Although the state government has introduced housing

planning policies that are meant to facilitate affordable housing, developers identify and exploit loopholes. Take for example the Coogee Studio Apartments on Arden Street. These were originally meant to be low-cost boarding houses, not serviced apartments for tourists, as they’re currently advertised! What we see is poor government planning, or is it worse than that - wilful ignorance and failure of government to enforce proper rules and policies?

So what is the solution?

Thankfully, there are things we can do. Positive, proactive reforms are needed. We are going to need a future state government with the tenacity to tackle the big reforms and implement a better planning system with fairer outcomes. Affordable housing for essential workers should be a major public policy priority in state planning if we are to improve essential public services.

In fixing this broken system, the stripping of local planning and development powers from local councils in favour of the current Liberal-National State Government must end! It is time to readjust and give local communities more say over future development. I strongly support this and will be taking up the challenge to see this through in a future NSW Labor Government.

There should be an overriding requirement that all future development meets local communities’ needs for the provision of affordable housing for essential workers and low-income earners.

It goes without saying, in a growing city like Sydney a planning regime must have integrity. If we get it right, we get a beautiful, healthy, socially and environmentally sustainable city. There are examples of that all over the world. If we get it wrong, it is no exaggeration to say we will face a reduction in the quality of life for our citizens.

Many factors contribute to a good planning system - fairness, integrity and certainty are just a few, but they are a great start.

ENVIRONMENT

Online Community Town Hall Meeting We want to hear your thoughts on how we can better protect the environment and what you think should be Labor's priorities. Please sign up to the online Zoom meeting using the QR code below.

Wednesday, July 27th 2022 from 6-7pm

Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP Member for Coogee

Penny Sharpe MLC Shadow Minister for the Environment

Please scan the QR code to register

Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP Member for Coogee If you need assistance, please do not hesitate to contact my office and follow my social pages for regular updates.

Phone (02) 9398 1822 Email coogee@parliament.nsw.gov.au Address 15/53-55B Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Facebook MarjorieONeillCoogeeMP Instagram marjorieoneillcoogee Twitter marjorieSONeill Authorised by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP. Funded using parliamentary entitlements.

Fishing Report

Local jazz drummer Cam Reid with an 82-centimetre kingfish.

Trips Down South and Local Reef Missions Words and Photo Lewis Kennedy-Hunt South Coast Tailor on the Chew Recently, I was lucky enough to enjoy a few days down on the NSW South Coast where my girlfriend Charlotte and I got to experience some epic fishing.

With fun-sized tailor chopping at the surface for as far as the eye could see, you would be forgiven for mistaking this sleepy South Coast estuary for Sydney Harbour in the height of summer.

We enjoyed a few sessions casting small metals and surface lures while losing count of the fish as they hit the deck one after the other.

The system was stacked with bait fish and hungry predators, namely salmon and tailor, and bursting with more life than I had ever seen before. With Charlotte having never caught even a single fish prior to the trip, 25-odd outings were certainly a good way to spark up some passion and interest in the sport!

Dispatched and bled quickly, we kept a few tailor for fresh fish tacos chased down by a few beers after the session.

44 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

Kingies Firing Off Long Reef Back in Sydneytown, jazz drummer and fellow fishing obsessee Cam Reid and myself sent it out to well known fishing spot The Wall at Long Reef. Dozens of boats were already there when we arrived and it was only a matter of time before we started catching fish.

We initially tried our luck downrigging with yakkas (yellowtail scad), which I reluctantly admit had been a real struggle to catch all morning. After the lack of success early on we soon opted for lures and lighter tackle. With a series of drifts through the zone, we bombed lures through the schools that lit up the sounder and had some insane action for hours.

Insatiable schools of kingfish and amberjack swarmed our lures, chasing them all the way up to the surface in 20-odd meters of water. A few fish had me outgunned on the lighter tackle as they ran toward the bottom, unable to be stopped before pinging me off on the reef.

The day quickly became very expensive as I began losing lure after lure, so we both opted for some heavier gear and bigger lures in search of a better quality fish. It wasn’t long before Cam’s 7-inch soft plastic was inhaled by what we immediately knew was a solid one. After a heart-inmouth fight with the fish making huge lunges back to the bottom for over five minutes, we finally boated what we had ventured out for, a solid kingfish measuring in at 82 centimetres.

As the sun got higher, the fishing slowed and the boats began to disperse. Weary from the 5am start, we made our way home, smiling and satisfied.

High-Country Trout My recent trip to the high-country in search of the mountain marlin (brown trout) started in true fashion with a few hurdles.

After taking a wrong turn that added a lazy two hours to my solo drive, the thought of a few quick casts in the dying light was the only thing on my mind. So much so, funnily enough, that I failed to notice the thick mud on the riverbank, leaving me bogged and in need of assistance.

Thankfully, all of this was quickly forgotten as my first fish of the trip, a solid spawning brown trout, had me running down through the rapids as it fought in the fast flowing water.

The following days featured a lot of smaller fish including a little token rainbow trout, made all the more special for being caught on my grandfather’s semi-antique fly rod. Bondi’s local trout guru, Ethan McDonald, also fished hard for the spawn run trout and I was able to join him for a few days over the trip.

Ethan’s Instagram (@Ethanmaccas144) boasts a few impressive rainbows and browns that he caught on the trip. It was obvious that the river was holding a good biomass of fish compared to other years, and all in all it was no doubt another successful and satisfying adventure.

Tide Chart

July 2022 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Moons

Moon • New Quarter • First Moon • Full • Last Quarter

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Saturday

Sunday

1 0352 0947 1511 2145

0.48 1.30 0.65 1.80

2 0430 1027 1551 2222

0.49 1.29 0.66 1.76

3 0508 1108 1633 2301

0.50 1.29 0.69 1.72

5 0630 0.52 1240 1.32 1812 0.74

6 0028 0713 1331 1911

1.59 0.53 1.37 0.76

7 0119 0758 1425 2018

1.51 0.53 1.44 0.75

8 0219 0845 1520 2132

1.45 0.53 1.53 0.70

9 0327 0937 1615 2245

1.40 0.52 1.64 0.61

10 0434 1030 1711 2352

1.38 0.51 1.77 0.49

11 0541 1.38 1125 0.49 1805 1.89

12 0052 0643 1220 1900

0.36 1.40 0.47 2.00

13 0148 0742 1315 1954

0.26 1.42 0.45 2.08

14 0242 0838 1411 2047

0.19 1.44 0.43 2.11

15 0334 0932 1506 2140

0.17 1.45 0.43 2.09

16 0426 1026 1601 2230

0.19 1.45 0.45 2.01

17 0515 1118 1657 2321

0.24 1.45 0.50 1.87

18 0603 0.32 1211 1.46 1754 0.57

19 0012 0650 1303 1854

1.71 0.41 1.46 0.64

20 0103 0735 1357 2000

1.53 0.49 1.47 0.70

21 0159 0819 1452 2114

1.38 0.56 1.49 0.73

22 0300 0905 1546 2227

1.26 0.62 1.53 0.72

23 0406 0954 1640 2332

1.19 0.65 1.57 0.66

25 0024 0605 1131 1815

26 0106 0652 1216 1856

0.54 1.23 0.63 1.71

27 0144 0732 1259 1934

0.48 1.26 0.60 1.75

28 0218 0811 1338 2012

0.44 1.29 0.57 1.78

29 0253 0846 1415 2047

0.41 1.31 0.55 1.79

30 0327 0922 1454 2123

0.40 1.32 0.54 1.79

4 0548 1152 1720 2343

0.52 1.30 0.72 1.66

0.60 1.19 0.65 1.66

• •

•

24 0510 1.18 1044 0.66 1730 1.61 31 0400 0959 1533 2159

0.39 1.34 0.55 1.75

Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 45

Dana's Recipe

Tasty handheld morsels that really pack a punch.

Marinated Steak Tacos Words Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine A welcome change to the standard mince and beans, I’ve gathered some fresh, punchy ingredients to fill these homemade tacos. These tasty handheld morsels burst with spice, citrus, salt and sharpness, with a blend of crunchy and soft textures.

Eating tacos should be fun, casual and plentiful. And if you have the time, try making these tortillas yourself.

Ingredients (makes 8 tacos) Small tortillas 1½ cups plain flour ½ tsp salt ½ tsp baking powder 2 tbs olive oil ½ cup warm water Steak marinade 400gm eye fillet steak 1 tbs olive oil Juice of an orange

1 tsp red chilli flakes ½ tsp sea salt 1 clove garlic, finely chopped Taco filling 80gm manchego, finely grated 2 ripe avocadoes, mashed, with lime juice and ¼ tsp salt ½ red cabbage, sliced very finely 1 bunch coriander, leaves picked 2 limes, cut into wedges, to serve Quick pickled red onion ½ large red onion 1 tsp sea salt 1 tbs vinegar 1 tsp caster sugar ¼ cup water Sriracha mayo 2 tbs whole egg mayonnaise 1 tbs sriracha Juice of ½ a lime

46 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

Method 1. For the steak marinade, combine ingredients in a bowl, mix well and add the steak.

Cover and allow to marinate in the fridge for half an hour.

2. For the pickled onion, combine ingredients in a bowl, mix well and set aside for half an hour.

3. For the sriracha mayo, combine mayonnaise, hot sriracha sauce and lime juice in a bowl and mix well.

Set aside.

4. To make the tortillas, combine dry ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Make a well in the centre and add the olive oil and water. Use clean hands to incorporate the wet into the dry ingredients until the dough begins to come together in a rough ball shape.

5. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for two minutes until smooth. Divide into eight equal portions and form into a ball, then flatten with the palm of your hand.

Cover with a clean tea towel and rest for 15 minutes.

6. Heat a fry pan over medium heat. With a rolling pin, roll each piece of dough into a circle approximately 15 centimetres in diameter. Use a little flour where needed to keep the dough from sticking.

7. When the pan is hot, place a circle of dough into the pan and allow to cook for 45 seconds to a minute. A few lightly coloured brown spots will appear on the

surface. If the pan gets too hot, turn down a little. Remove from the pan and once cooled keep in an airtight container. Repeat with remaining dough.

8. Remove the steak from the fridge and strain off the marinade.

Heat a fry pan to high heat, add a drizzle of olive oil, before adding the steak. This will create a nice charred exterior. After two minutes, turn down the heat to medium and cook for a further two minutes.

Turn the steaks over and cook for three minutes on the other side, depending how you like your steak cooked.

Remove from the pan and allow to rest.

9. Once rested, slice the steak into one centimetre strips.

10. To assemble the tacos, place the tortillas on a large serving plate.

Layer the ingredients for the taco filling by placing the cabbage down first, the mashed avocado, strips of steak, Manchego, pickled red onion and coriander.

Serve with lime wedges.

Dana Sims is a Sydney-based food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

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Brainteasers

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ACROSS 1. Recently deceased Goodfellas actor (3,6) 6. Landlocked country in Southeast Asia (4) 7. A submerged reef (7) 10. Napoleon’s place of exile (4) 12. Animals killed on the road by vehicles (8) 13. A male deer (4) 14.Homemade soda bread (6) 17. The authority to represent someone else (5) 18. A horny covering on the upper surface of the finger and toe (4) 21. The total or partial obscuring of one celestial body by another (7) 22. Cannabis cigarette (6)

24. A game similar to boules (8) DOWN 1. Taxi Driver star (6,2,4) 2.Town on the Clarence River (5) 3. An implement for water-borne propulsion (3) 4. … vera (4) 5. Founder of Wikileaks (7) 8. Archipelago off the coast of Scotland (6) 9. A central shaft for a rotating wheel or gear (4) 11. Often used as a synonym for rubber (5) 15. Corn (5) 16. Australian crane (6) 19. In the present life or state (4) 20. A selection of small dishes (4) 23. Musical recording (1,1)

Trivial Trivia Words Lisa Anderson Photo Alan Wang 1. Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe and John Adams were founding fathers and Presidents of the USA; what else did they have in common?

2. What contact team sport was conceived by two butchers in Melrose, Scotland in 1883?

3.What are rockmelons mainly

Cold Coogee.

48 The Beast July 2022 Issue 210

known as in the USA? 4. Where on the body would you wear winklepickers?

5. Riga is the capital of which country?

6. What colour is the sprinters’ jersey in the Tour de France?

7. What is the common name for ‘ficus macrophylla’?

8. Who is Australia’s new Federal Treasurer?

9. Which American musical was awarded the 2016 Pulitzer Prize in Drama?

10. The destruction of which Parisian building during the French Revolution is celebrated every year on July 14?

KENDRICK LAMAR

Mr Morale & The Big Steppers Label Interscope Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

Criminal Defence Lawyer Bondi Junction Drugs Assault Domestic violence Firearms Robbery Fraud Property damage & more

CALL 0412 211 152 for your FREE case review

I know we’ve all been thinking this, so I’m just going to say it; Kendrick Lamar is the Ricky Gervais of hip-hop. He is one of those artists you can’t simply take on face value; you need to bite into the raw onion - Tony Abbott style - and masticate for a good while. What appears downright offensive at first taste, slowly reveals itself as an incredible insight into where we are as a society, and the fragility and duality of the human condition. Either that, or I’m giving them way too much credit and they’re just bitter and obnoxious.

FLUME Palaces

Label FUTURE CLASSIC Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Flume grows his own vegetables in the Byron Hinterland now. Why does this not surprise me?

He best watch out for pumpkin thieves and Hobbits masking as barefoot, billionaire bohos. People will disagree, but I believe Byron is now where creativity goes to die. What was once a genuine cultural hub has lost its edge, and so, I fear, has Flume. Palaces could be a grower, but I spent a large portion of the first listen thinking my phone was ringing or the Wi-Fi was dropping out. The second spin was better, but I did skip a few tracks. There won’t be a third.

THE SMILE

A Light for Attracting Attention Label XL Recordings Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? Well, if the duck is called The Smile but doesn’t actually seem capable of smiling, then it’s Radiohead. I’m not sure why Thom Yorke has started another band that sounds exactly like his other band, but he has, and if you like his other band, then you will like this band. And if you don’t like Radiohead, I guess you need to take a long hard look at yourself, because you’re clearly a happy person and that must be quite pleasant.

Issue 210 July 2022 The Beast 49

Beardy from Hell Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Ditch your expensive new hobby and take an uneducated plunge on the sharemarket while it’s getting flogged. Easy money.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Despite your delusional assumptions that you’re good at fixing stuff, do everyone a favour and get the professionals in.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Your unrivalled ability to talk nonsense, mislead and deceive people is underutilised in your current occupation.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 It’s time to update your repertoire of jokes. Your chav mates may think you’re funny, but they’ll all be in jail soon.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Stop whinging about all the tax you have to pay when you receive way more than your fair share of government spending.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 An unexpected encounter with an old flame will leave you spewing you didn’t invest in a decent pair of jocks in the last decade.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Be careful what you wish for.

The grass is only greener on the other side because there’s a lot more excrement over there.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Baking your way through winter may sound comforting now, but fast forward to summer and you’ll be off yourself.

Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Don’t book a trip to Bali, unless you wish to be reminded how cold, uncultured and overpriced Sydney is.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Now’s the time to start working on your summer body. It’s amazing what you can achieve in a few months when you have a go.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Personal landscaping must remain a priority, despite the fact that you are hidden under a thousand layers.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Lining up a stable of casual lovers has its short-term benefits, but it will cause you major problems down the track.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions

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1. They all died on July 4. 2. Rugby Sevens 3. Cantaloupe 4. Feet (they are shoes) 5. Latvia 6. Green 7. Moreton Bay Fig 8. Jim Chalmers 9. Hamilton 10. The Bastille 1

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