The Beast - July 2019

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Welcome to the July 2019 Edition...

Words Dan & James Hutton, Publishers Welcome to the July 2019 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s marvellous Beaches of the East.

This little spiel is the last thing we write each month before we send files across to the printers. It’s always a great feeling putting the final touches on another edition and breathing a sigh of relief as we hit the ‘send’ button. We’re high as kites on cold and flu meds trying to stay awake to get the thing finished but we’re pretty bloody happy with this one, we must say.

This month’s cover interview is with enigmatic Aussie artist Anthony Lister, a truly unique character with plenty of quirks and a lovely guy to boot. A big thanks to Khayla for lining up the chat and to Anthony for al-

6 The Beast July 2019

lowing us to finish the interview despite receiving some very sad news during our talk. He will be announcing a big exhibition for July and we can’t wait.

There’s a lot going on this month, the main events being the Bondi Winter Magic Festival, running from June 28 to July 28; Bondi Feast, which will be held in the Bondi Pavilion from July 9-20; Randwick’s Community Race Day, which will take place at Royal Randwick on July 6; and the Beach Breaks Carnival, taking place at Maroubra Beach on July 28.

There’s also plenty of good sport on at the Sydney Cricket Ground, so dust off the DrizaBone and make your way to Moore Park to enjoy the action.

Happy winter reading, Beasts!

The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/ advertise Circulation 61,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,000 are placed in mailboxes and 5,000 in local shops.

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CONTENTS July 201 9 Issue 174

6 9 10 12 15 16 18 20

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Beastpops Local Bloke Thumbs and Dogs Local News

32 34 35 36 52 53 56 57

Patience, by Janet Wood @photobyjanet.

Satire Calendar Local Tradies Interview Unreliable Guide Tide Chart Headnoise Sporting Life

58 59 60 62 64 65 66 66

Enviro News Marj's Musings Beast Eats Local Photos Reviews Brainteasers Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions

"I'm a ratepayer and I have rights!"

Finding Solutions to First World Problems Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Sarah Jessica-Narker PEARL'S VIEW ON TREE HATERS Hi Pearl - I’d appreciate your view on a woman who was walking along Fern Street and nearby streets in Randwick, ripping huge branches from trees in public streets and from shrubs in private properties.

I love your down to earth take on life in the East. I wish I had been using my hose at the time and could have ‘accidentally’ dampened her lust. This has been going on for months and is not a rare occurrence.

Tree Hugger Clovelly PEARL KNOWS THESE TYPES Dear Tree Hugger - Thank you for providing me with an excuse not to use this column as a post-election rant, although it does appear from your descrip10 The Beast July 2019

tion that the actions of this woman could be interpreted as political and that she is actually a rogue forestry worker planted in Randwick as a symbol (and an “FU” to Green voters) of the public mandate given to ScoMo to destroy Australia’s old growth forests. I do hope, for her sake, that she is clothed in hi-viz and registered with the CFMEU. But, seriously, what type of person vandalises trees?

A wealthy person with ocean views immediately comes to mind, although Fern Street is not the waterfront territory that I’d associate with high maintenance hoteliers or corporate lawyers whose identities are tied up with the view from their window. Perhaps a hipster collecting branches for her personal collection? A property developer out to sabotage the

community? A thrill seeker with a pruning saw getting her jollies from trespassing on private property?

I suspect this woman is a lady of a ‘certain age’ - a pre- to slightly post-baby boomer; one of those oldies for whom outrage is a constant state of mind, fuelled by the wisdom of shock jocks and vented through carefully crafted letters to The Australian. If they had been born early this century then they would most certainly be social media trolls.

Literally everything offends their delicate sensibilities: the sound of Mr Whippy, the roar of the crowd at Coogee Oval, bill posting on telegraph poles, inoffensive graffiti, the ‘retiree tax’... Randwick Council’s phone number is on speed dial, ready to report a skateboarding teen or a council worker whose leaf blower missed a solitary twig. Her type is usually found controlling a body corporate; whinging about letterbox keys, garbage bin duty and washing on the balconies, stymieing and boycotting any attempts to raise body corporate fees.

But back to your trees... foliage is so random, and this type of person doesn’t do random, the sight of dead leaves sending them foaming at the mouth. Like the posters stuck on telegraph poles, there is nothing that this woman cannot eliminate with a pruning saw (including tree owners). My solution: transform Fern Street into an aboral avenue of Goonie Trees by tying cheap wine cask bladders to the branches - a touch of West in the East. This would garner enough publicity on social media to deter the branch lopper, allowing you to save your precious water and avoid breaching the water restrictions. Good luck!

Pearl Bullivant Clovelly

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs CAFE'S JUST FOR HUMANS There was a time when I could sit outdoors and have my coffee and breakfast, peacefully enjoying the sun with a book, at one of the many cafés along the Eastern Beaches. That’s a dream from the past, as now I have to sit mostly indoors to avoid the plague of dogs that has overtaken the popular seating outdoors.

It’s out of control now! If I arrive early and sit outdoors it’s not very long before the ‘doggy people’ arrive and surround me with their little mates. Doggy people (identified usually by plastic bags full of warm faeces dangling somewhere off their person) have no regard for other people that may not want dogs laying against their legs or under their tables, nor the constant noisy yapping or barking their excited little friends make.

Some tie their doggies around posts or poles, allowing them to urinate close to tables where people are eating or, worse still, have them sit on their laps, allowing them to dribble and even walk over tables. Yuk! It’s even extended - unchallenged by business owners - to the point where doggy people will now take their pals into cafés, alongside indoor diners, when they order and collect takeaway.

There are many, many doggy parks established by local government in prime locations along the eastern coastline and

12 The Beast July 2019

there is plenty of room for doggy people and their furry friends to play and eat together. I can’t understand why they just don’t buy their takeaway coffees, go and enjoy a picnic in one of these parks and leave the cafés in peace for us humans.

Nos Maroubra THE DEVIL IN THE DETAIL Twice in 30 years the community fought hard to stop Bondi Pavilion from privatisation.

Twice we succeeded. The latest Development Application (DA) includes alarming additional changes to the works never mentioned during the consultations. Below is a brief response to this Council DA: 1. No staging. The Pavilion would be closed for business for years (and years) and any future council could step into an empty building and carry out their proclivities (read: restaurants and function centres).

The Fix: Stage the development.

2. The waste figures appear to still be based on a previous DA incarnation of two functioning restaurants - 9 tonnes per day. I kid you not!

The Fix: Do another accurate audit. Enforce a stricter waste regime on the commercial tenancies (minus The Bucket List remember) and re-employ the compactor initiated under the Betts regime.

3. An enormous new road carved into our precious parkland to cope with the (wildly inaccurate) supposed waste.

The Fix: Don’t. We are all over roads being carved into parkland. Redo the waste calculations (please see the second point).

4. The stupid ‘grand entrance’ (that is universally disliked and derided), which requires the removal of our beloved amphitheatre, thereby creating an empty wasteland and a massive wind tunnel on to the actual entrance out the front. The community loses its space for performances (and dog shows) and are relegated outside to the southern courtyard to incur numerous noise complaints.

The Fix: Easy, don’t do it.

‘Maintain and care for what is there’.

Nicolette Boaz Bondi SOUTH BRONTE AMENITIES UPGRADE I refer to Siriol Dafydd's article (South Bronte Amenities Upgrade: Have Your Say, The Beast, June 2019) on Waverley Council's plans for upgrading the South Bronte Amenities block. Apparently, no longer will bathers have “sand lodged in less than ideal places”, and there’s to be a “roof terrace for socialising and such”.

Sounds great, but aren't these facilities already there? There are also plans for additional outdoor showers (three already exist), plus another shower in the female section and more wash basins.

All this work may be worthwhile but what’s the cost? I suspect that the good folk at Council have found an odd million or so in the kitty and can’t wait to spend it on some feelgood project. It certainly would be nice to have updated facilities but surely there are more pressing needs? The removal of dumped rubbish in Bronte Gully is one that comes to mind.

Robert Sharpe Bronte

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July 2019 The Beast 13

PEARLS OF WISDOM I am so glad Pearl brought up the subject of those vile micro bikinis being increasingly flaunted at every Eastern Suburbs beach.

I swear they are getting smaller each season, particularly the bottom pieces. I jokingly refer to them as ‘dental floss’, but Pearl’s description of “antiquated belted sanitary pad” is spot on, though I think they had thicker straps!

Seriously, the women wearing these micro bikinis look like they have left, or are going to, a porn shoot. They cannot possibly be comfortable. Many of them walk nonchalantly about the local streets to and from the beach. Unfortunately, I regularly see some of them plonking their big, basically bare bums on the seat of a cafe, beachside nail bar or hairdresser.

Ladies, you are giving males the wrong signals; if you want respect, be respectful. Let’s bring back to the beaches the brightly patterned sarongs and pareos that give every woman of any size a look of femininity. Micro bikini wearers: if you must wear one of those truly ugly micro bikinis, at least cover up once you step off the sand.

Oh, and by the way, you are exposing your body to larger areas of sensitive skin on which to develop skin cancer in your later years.

LO’H Maroubra

Further manipulating the genes of one organism by inserting the genes of another is also not the equivalent of hybridisation as claimed by the industry.

Hybridisation done by farmers and plants themselves has been going on for generations. It is not the artificial insertion of a gene, say from a fish into say a strawberry or vice versa.

GMOs are not safe and there is ample research on the dangers to other animals, plants, insects and no doubt humans going way back to Professor Pusztai's original research on GMO potatoes. Just as we are now learning that Roundup containing Glyphosate, which we were told was safe but is implicated in non-Hodgkin lymphoma and a type of leukaemia, we will discover too late that GMOs should never have been released into the environment.

Ingrid Strewe, M. Env. Ed. Bronte

GMOS Dear Editor - Oh dear, I have just read the letter on genetically modified organisms (GMOs) and the supposed safety thereof.

Anthony Bosch (Letters, The Beast, June 2019) has, I am afraid, taken the words of the biotech industry as gospel. Or he works with them.

GMOs have not gone through years of safety testing. They did not have to as the regulators, at the behest of the industry, declared them to be substantially equivalent to the original organism. So, no, no safety testing, and no long-term studies on the potential for harm.

SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS Dear Editors - It has long been said that, “The greatest mark of democracy is the question mark.”

Political polling is done by questioning strangers; a letter writer to The Beast last month asked, “Who lets their dogs start barking from 6.30am?”

Well, thank Goodness they said “barking” and not “parking”.

If I could only get a spot in the huge queue of climbers on Mount Everest I should like to ask the all-seeing, all-hearing, omniscient, wise person at the top, “How many is the right number of pillows that one should put on a guest’s bed in the spare room?”

14 The Beast July 2019

PEDESTRIAN CROSSING NEEDED ON CLOVELLY ROAD Dear Editor - Any chance of having a crossing put in on Clovelly Road across Arden Street?

There already is one there running north to south but there is no safe option to cross from east to west. It’s getting rather hairy and scary in peak times on this very busy roundabout.

John Swanton Coogee

The trouble with democracy and questions - is that we rarely get the answers. Personally, I believe there is much wisdom to be found in fortune cookies and knock-knock jokes in Christmas crackers. But then again, what do I know?

John Ruffels Bondi SCOMO OR SCOMOSES? Dear Editor - I just can’t wait for the new government’s proposed religious freedom laws, where people will have immunity from prosecution or job losses for acts or statements motivated by their religious beliefs.

I look forward to unfair dismissal court actions being replaced by ‘Unrighteous Dismissal Court’ actions, with theologically qualified barristers arguing the case as to whether the plaintiff’s statements or actions were in fact in line with the ‘canon’ of their professed religion or not, and whether their other actions and decisions were sufficiently in line with these religious principles to qualify them for a ‘righteous exemption’ from dismissal or harassment, etc.

The sooner the limits of all religious beliefs are fully defined by an Australian Government authority, the sooner the registered followers of all religions in Australia will be truly free to practise their religious beliefs free from the fear of unjustified persecution. What could possibly go wrong?

The only difficulty I see in this project, given the government’s intentions and parliamentary majority, is in the appointment of sufficiently impartial judges, given the multi-faith doctrines to be explored will require a bench of agnostic judges to be appointed.

Beyond the courts, in pursuit and recognition of these new religious freedoms, all places of religious worship or religious education must be required to display boards listing the types of people or practices that this religion requires to be shunned

by those seeking entry to the premises, if necessary, replacing the former ten commandments, perhaps. This would help new converts identify the family, friends and work colleagues they must shun in order to be full members of that congregation.

If the Prime Minister of Australia can achieve this, he should no longer be known as ‘ScoMo’; he should be hailed as the new ‘ScoMoses’ for bringing his chosen people’s religion in under Pharaoh's authority.

Garry P Dalrymple Earlwood CLOVELLY DOG PARK Dear Sir - I write to protest about the changes you recently outlined for Clovelly Dog Park (Dog Owners Kicked Off Clovelly Dog Park, The Beast, June 2019).

That the area be made offlimits to dogs is entirely unsatisfactory, particularly to parents who can at present bring wee Jasper along to rugby training and take Napoleon down to the off-leash area for a bit of exercise, instead of leaving the poor beast locked in the Porsche 4WD (Napoleon, that is).

The suggestions for a BMX/ pump track, cyclist skills park, food vans and mini-festivals are completely inappropriate to the demographic.

It would be far preferable to create an opera amphitheatre on the incline towards the rock pools, to turn the off-leash area into a permanent polo practice field (with reserved 4WD parking) and to renovate the football change sheds to create a wine bar and locavore restaurant.

Nothing less befits our status as the southernmost bulwark of the recently reclaimed fiefdom of Wentworth.

Sandra Alexander Clovelly Editor’s Note Randwick City Council has no plans to ban dogs from Burrows Oval. The article mentioned above was satirical in nature and clearly labelled as such. The Beast sincerely apologises for any trauma caused.

Do you think dogs should be allowed in cafés and restaurants?

Interviews and Pictures Stiffy McPherson

Damian BONDI No, I don’t think they should be, not really. Health and hygiene in food preparation areas and in places where people go to eat is just too important and people tend to leave their dogs sitting right in the doorway, so it can be difficult to get over the top them sometimes.

Kathleen COOGEE I love dogs, so I would be totally fine with them being allowed in restaurants and cafés, but my dad is so scared of them because he used to do the paper run when he was a kid and the dogs used to chase after him, so you wouldn’t catch him dead in a restaurant with dogs inside.

Giorgio BRONTE I would like to take my dog to a restaurant or café - in many places in Europe you actually can - but I also understand the issue with having a dog in a café in terms of health and safety. In my opinion it would be great, as long as the dog is well-behaved, but not everyone likes dogs.

Christine MAROUBRA No, I don’t think so. It’s pretty unhygienic to have animals actually inside a café or restaurant and it can also make other customers feel uncomfortable. I absolutely love dogs and I don’t mind them being in the outdoor area of a café, but I don’t think an animal’s place is inside a café, no.

July 2019 The Beast 15

Who is your favourite person?

The ones around me that make my life great: the miso soup, family, friends... and also Nicolas Cage, he’s pretty legendary.

What do you get up to on the weekends? I try to get myself out of the bubble as much as possible and head to restaurants and bars in the Inner West, or try to find some quieter beaches up and down the coast. Most of the time I don’t get past Bondi Road.

On yer bike, Conrad!

Local Bloke...

Conrad Pattinson from Bondi Interview James Hutton Photo Amy Middlemiss Bondi’s Conrad Pattinson co-owns and operates Vamos Bikes, a Sydney-based electric bike company. He shares his local favourites with The Beast…

How long have you lived here?

I moved here from London when I was 10, so about 16 years. Great call from the folks!

Why do you live here? I’ve done a bit of travelling and I’ve learnt that Sydney is the best spot on earth. I try not to take for granted the amazing beaches, weather, high wages and generally large amount of stoke in each individual in this area. It’s definitely not like this in a lot of other parts of the world.

What’s your favourite beach?

Tamarama and Bronte are beautiful and a little less hectic, but the English inside me can’t go past Bondi.

What’s your favourite eatery?

I love Funky Pies - I was eating there for close to a year before 16 The Beast July 2019

I realised it was vegan - and Mappen in Bondi Junction for a crazy cheap noodle soup.

Where do you like to have a drink? Rosenbaum & Fuller, Ravesis, North Bondi RSL and the Robin Hood.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The beaches, the variety of different types of people and the lifestyle.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The congestion. Waiting to get the 333 to the city on a weekday morning, or trying to find a park, is brutal. It’s been like this since I was a kid.

Do you have a favourite sporting team? The Blue Bawlers, the mixed netball team I play in.

We barely know the rules but we have a crack.

What music are you into at the moment? Client Liaison have inspired me to relive the ‘80s on Spotify.

What do you do for work? I do surf coaching and tour guiding on the side, but my main gig is running Vamos Bikes, a Sydney-based electric bike company. Michael (co-founder) and I fell in love with electric bikes a few years ago and saw a gap in the market. We noticed that e-bikes were expensive and seemed only to be marketed to grandpas on their second hip replacement, but they are great for anyone that wants to get around quickly and cheaply without leaving a carbon footprint. I use mine every day.

What’s your favourite thing about work? Creating a company around something you’re passionate about is so fulfilling.

I’m sure every business owner says their business helps the world but we know ours does.

Petrol use is a major contributor to global warming and 90 per cent of people in Sydney live within ten clicks of their workplace. Now you can combat the hills and the congestion while helping the environment.

To me it’s a no-brainer.

Do you have a favourite quote?

“If you ain’t wit’ it, get wit’ it!”

Any words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Check out vamosbikes.com.au and hit us up for a free test ride.

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COOGEE: 214 COOGEE BAY RD | SURRY HILLS: SHOP 4,490 CROWN ST | WOOLLAHRA: 68 MONCUR ST

DUNCAN Age 10 years Sex Male Breed Jack Russell X Weight 8kg

Lookin' good, Jack.

THUMBS UP AKUBRA The iconic bush hat manufacturer is still 100 per cent Australian made and owned.

Get into Strand Hatters in the Strand Arcade and the boys will sort you out.

SCHOOLBOYS RUGBY It’s great to see ‘The game they play in Heaven’ being played the way it’s meant to be played, and far more entertaining than watching the Wallabies.

STADIUM SPORTS MEDICINE CLINIC Whoever’s idea it was to get the best sports doctors and specialists in Australia and stick them all under one roof is a genius.

NEW ZEALAND The first Western country to prioritise well-being over economic growth, changing the way Kiwis look at the economy and their place in it.

OPEN FIREPLACES There’s a notable shortage of them in our local pubs but they’re one of our favourite things about winter.

THUMBS DOWN THE POLICE STATE Freedom of the press is an essential pillar of democracy and even more important than freedom of religion.

WESTERN IMPERIALISM Forcing our way of life on the rest of the world is neither an intelligent nor honourable long-term strategy.

SHRINKAGE As much as we love winter, it’s frustrating not being able to find your pecker after a refreshing dip.

18 The Beast July 2019

Duncan is a gentle, sweet-natured lad. He is social with other dogs, has a gentle demeanour and loves being cuddled. He is an active boy for his age and loves playing with used dildos. He would like a garden to play in - wouldn’t we all? Duncan comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Duncan is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.

ELLIOTT Age 10 years Sex Male Breed Rottweiler X Weight 34.5kg Elliott is quite small for a Rotty. He is affectionate with people and loves chasing balls and sitting down to chew them. He would suit apartment living and a family who are committed to pampering an old codger in his twilight years. Elliott comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Elliott is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.

HOPE Age 10 years Sex Female Breed Jack Russell X Weight 6.9kg Hope is a happy, friendly little girl. She loves people and is great with kids, even if they’re overly energetic and annoying. She is social with other small dogs. She would suit apartment living and a family where someone is around most of the time. Hope comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Hope is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet.

For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.

Winter is the new summer.

Bondi Winter Magic "Guaranteed to Shock, Surprise and Delight" Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Penny Gwinn It’s no secret that we love the summer around these parts and it’s probably safe to say that most of us live for those gloriously warm - or uncomfortably sweaty - months of the year. In fact, we love summer so much that we dread the arrival of winter and often fly out of here to carry on surfing, day-drinking and avoid the short days and chilly evenings altogether.

But winter doesn’t just have to be about expensive flights to Europe or Indonesia, hiding away under a blanket or bingewatching Netflix. If you’re feeling brave enough to leave the warm bosom of your home this winter, the Bondi Winter Magic festival will be back and in full swing from June 28 to July 28.

This annual Waverley Council event drew around 60,000 visitors to the Bondi Pavilion last year and is set to do the same again this winter. The iconic beachside ice rink will be back so that you can enjoy skating or stacking - with friends and 20 The Beast July 2019

family, and of course no winter wonderland would be complete without the Bondi Vista ferris wheel. The 22 metre-high behemoth will once again give locals and visitors a bird’s eye view of the world famous Bondi Beach and surrounding suburbs, perfect for a mid-week pick-me-up or Tindering on a not-so-fair winter’s eve.

But the fun doesn’t end there. This year’s Bondi Winter Magic will include an Art On The Streets program brought to you by the Bondi & District Chamber of Commerce. This will allow both professional and amateur artists to perform and display their work on the streets of Bondi in an awesome blend of art, culture and music.

So if you miss the hustle and bustle of the summer version of Bondi, this beautiful little part of the world will remain just as vibrant throughout winter too.

Over the last few years Bondi Winter Magic has included a fringe-style winter festival

called Bondi Feast. For those of you yet to experience this extra little gem, Bondi Feast celebrates award-winning comedy, cabaret, theatre and circus acts from all over the world, showcasing over 200 local, national and international artists in 40 shows across 10 nights.

Bondi Feast will take place at the Bondi Pavilion Theatre & Festival Garden from July 9-20.

Waverley Mayor John Wakefield is confident that this year’s Feast offering will be more awesome than ever before.

“The Bondi Feast schedule will be even bigger and better this year with performances guaranteed to shock, surprise and delight,” he told The Beast.

All of these wonderful festivities are designed to showcase Bondi as not just a glorious summer destination but also a year-round location for culture and entertainment.

“Bondi Winter Magic is a premier event loved by thousands of visitors and residents alike and is one of the best school holiday activities for families,” Mayor Wakefield said.

“The Chamber’s On the Streets program provides the opportunity for emerging artists to exhibit their work outdoors, and Music on the Streets brings the best amateur and professional musicians to Bondi.”

So stop carrying on about how frozen you are; chuck on a jacket and venture outside to soak up some music, art, theatre or whatever your heart desires. At the very least it will be refreshing to get out of the house and remind yourself what life was like before Netflix.

For program updates or further information about this years festivities, visit bondiwintermagic.org.au and follow Waverley Council on social media.

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July 2019 The Beast 21

Randwick beachies Jake and Pat at Coogee.

Sun, Sand and Smart Technology Words Isabella Puentes Photo Mark Bond Spending a day at the beach is one of Australia’s favourite pastimes. The ancient ritual of the sunburnt nose, salty hair and sandy toes. And let’s not forget the chaos of public transport, big swells and dangerous currents, and the possibility of a jellyfish sting.

With Randwick Council’s new program, set to roll out in the upcoming months, the dread of finding the last parking spot amid summer beach visitors will be a thing of the past.

The Coogee Smart Beach Program will implement new technology across Coogee Beach and will expand along Coogee Bay Road. The program is a part of the Smart Cities and Suburbs Program Grant from the Australian Government Department of Infrastructure, Regional Development and Cities.

The plan will include a range of new facilities including free high speed Wi-Fi, a CCTV 22 The Beast July 2019

network along Coogee Beach and Coogee Bay Road and sensors on the barbecues to alert Council as to when they need to be cleaned.

Randwick Mayor Kathy Neilson explained that the primary goal of the program is to improve the accessibility at Coogee.

“These innovations will allow visitors to Coogee Beach to make data-driven decisions that will allow them to find parking spots more quickly, assess beach conditions accurately and enjoy well-maintained facilities,” Ms Neilson said.

One of the key innovations to be included as a part of the plan is new beach signage. The new infrastructure will inform visitors about real-time beach conditions such as air and water temperature, wind direction, solar UV rating, wave height and swell and the presence of rips and other beach hazards.

Smart parking sensors will also be introduced and will notify drivers of the nearest available parking spots.

Coogee resident Sinead Martin enjoys the many benefits of living near the beach including early morning swims, lovely walks and a vibrant nightlife.

She also acknowledges the unpredictability of off-street parking as a disadvantage of living in a highly visited suburb.

“It’s a burden sometimes having to find a parking spot quite a long way from my apartment and this seems to be a common complaint among my neighbours,” she told The Beast.

“I try to avoid driving and instead use public transport, but sometimes it’s too unreliable, especially when travelling to work in the morning.”

“I’m looking forward to the new technology; hopefully it will make my afternoon commute less stressful,” she said.

Public transport will also receive an upgrade, with real-time information about the fastest departure routes and estimated wait times for ride-sharing services to be made available.

While in the long-term these innovations aim to increase convenience, Council has also considered the challenges and short-term disturbances. A Council spokesperson explained that testing and evaluation will be important to ensure all facilities are running effectively before being rolled out more broadly.

“Summer is very busy at Coogee and getting access to install and test this equipment without getting in the way of beachgoers will be important,” the spokesperson said.

“We are lucky to have one of the most beautiful beaches in the country at our doorstep,” said Ms Martin. “It’s important we share it with others and make it easier for visitors who have travelled long distances to enjoy it.”

81% of advised Australians feel that financial advice has given them more confidence in making financial decisions* Cameron is your local financial adviser in Randwick and believes in the difference that advice can make.

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Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words Dan Hutton Photo Jonah Zeiderman Instagram @jz.photos_ CYCLEWAY ROUTE CHOSEN Randwick Council has supported the proposed Bundock Street, Avoca Street, Sturt Street cycleway route as the preferred eastwest route between South Coogee and Kingsford. Eight other routes were considered, however they presented issues including tree and parking loss, being too circuitous and some routes had steep hills. The design for the route will now be refined in response to community feedback to minimise tree loss as much as possible. A report is expected to be presented to Council in the coming months.

TAMIRIKI AFTER SCHOOL CARE Waverley Action for Youth Services (WAYS) is now offering a new after school care program, Tamiriki, to fill the increasing need for places in the Eastern Suburbs. Tamiriki offers a muchneeded closing time of 7pm, as well as a local school pickup that delivers new options for parents.

Tamiriki operates at Bondi Beach from 3pm until 7pm every Monday to Friday, 48 weeks of the year. It is Child Care Subsidy approved and costs just $24 for a 4-hour session. The program is run by experienced staff and includes sports, arts and crafts, park play, excursions and fun

food options in a safe family environment. For more information or to register, please email Tamara at tamara@ways.org.au or call 0423 056 900.

COOGEE'S HOTTEST GRANNY The Beast would like to formally acknowledge and congratulate one of Coogee’s finest on a major milestone achieved last month.

A true character of the local area, Carolyn Doughty is one of the hardest working and hilarious humans we’ve met. She’s so fit she even managed to snag herself a younger man who has one of the best heads of hair in Sydney. So, happy 21st birthday Carolyn, and thanks for your continued support since as far back as we can remember!

RADLEYS ON THE RISE Star Roosters forward Victor Radley received the phone call every player dreams of when he was selected for the Blues Origin squad last month. Victor has enjoyed a meteoric rise since making his debut for the Chooks in round 20 of the 2017 NRL season against the Newcastle Knights, but he isn’t the only sporting star in his family... brothers Lewis and Harry are weapons on the footy field and Jack, the eldest of the four

siblings, has been making his mark on the boxing world of late.

Jack made his amateur debut in 2016 with a charity bout to raise money for a local lad suffering from brain cancer. Since then he has had three more fights and, despite going down narrowly on points in the first bout, has managed to chalk up consecutive wins to take his record to a respectable 3-1 and is looking to take out the King of the Ring title on June 15 (when The Beast will be on the printing press).

“I'm done with the drink,” Jack told The Beast. “I'm knuckling down and I'm looking forward to taking on a few more formidable opponents and seeing how far I can go.”

FOREVER JOHNNO Mal Ward’s Forever Johnno fundraiser has once again managed to raise an incredible amount of money for the Children's Hospital at Westmead, with a whopping $13,000 to be donated to the Clancy Ward. Wardy sends out a big thanks to all the people who bought tickets, helped out, donated a prize and made the effort to get there on the night, with a special mention to the wonderful nurses from Clancy Ward. See you all again next year.

BIG WINTER BOOK FAIR Woollahra Library will be holding one of its quarterly book fairs on the weekend of June 29-30 at Double Bay Library, with a great selection of ex-library books for sale at bargain prices including adult and children’s books, fiction and non-fiction. Drop into Double Bay Library and pick up a bargain to read on those cold winter nights.

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July 2019 The Beast 25

Constance and her mum, Aristea.

Extra Support for Cancer Survivors at Prince of Wales Hospital Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation The sheer horror of cancer is not lost on any of us. We all know someone who has been diagnosed with the disease or lost someone to it. In the South Eastern Sydney Local Health District alone, around 5,000 people are diagnosed with cancer every year, and while those who survive may be considered the lucky ones, their battle goes way beyond chemotherapy and the word ‘remission’.

Randwick local Constance Synesios knows this hardship all too well. After being diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma at just 22 years of age, she underwent six months of treatment and on average endured around 14 hours of chemotherapy each week. This is physically and emotionally gruelling for anyone, let alone a young single mother with a toddler at home.

Ms Synesios’ cancer was more than just tumours and chemo. It affected her daughter, her family, her friends, her education and so much more. Now, six months after her final round of treatment, she’s still facing challenges.

26 The Beast July 2019

“Being on steroids for so long added the extra kilos and masked the strain it put on both my muscles and bones,” she told The Beast.

“Since finishing my treatment it has become a lot harder to carry that extra weight without the help of steroids as my muscles and bones are now having to do it on their own.”

Constance also struggled to find a job. “Many employers would’ve looked at my resume and thought I have just been lazy and chosen not to work for such a long period. The last thing you want to do is tell your story over and over again.”

While we may not be able to prevent this suffering, we can support patients and survivors through these additional and unexpected challenges. This is precisely why the Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation is investing $400,000 in a new Cancer Survivorship Centre.

Opening in the second half of 2019, it will be a non-clinical ‘home away from home’ where patients, survivors and families

can get the support they need.

Leanne Zalapa, CEO of the Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation, told The Beast that the Prince of Wales Hospital will see around 3,000 people with cancer this year.

“The Centre will house a living room, media room, library and study room, interview/ meeting rooms and landscaped gardens. It will be a place where people can engage and connect with others impacted by cancer, take time out from the hospital environment and relax, and also access a suite of holistic services,” she explained.

Ms Synesios welcomes this new centre. Despite the outstanding support and care she received from her family, friends, nurses and ward staff throughout her treatment, she believes more can be done to help cancer survivors. From physiotherapy to help finding a job, a new centre could help survivors get back on track in the real world both practically and emotionally.

“Cancer can really put a barrier between you and your regular social activities as you are no longer able to do as much as you used to while being treated. Having a place where people going through the same thing can sit and socialise would be amazing.”

“Personally I would like to use the opportunity to visit the Prince of Wales Hospital Cancer Survivorship Centre to share my story and my experience and to give people the hope and the confidence to be able to stay strong and persevere.”

You too can help by making a donation to support the new Cancer Survivorship Centre. Every $1 (up to $70,000) will be matched by a generous Foundation supporter. To donate, visit www.powhf.org.au/cancer.

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July 2019 The Beast 27

From left to right: Local heroes Wally, Troy and Harries.

Troy’s the Boy in Surf Rescue Drama Words Duncan Horscroft Photo Noel McLaughlan It was a cool September morning when the East Side Crew fitness team made their way back from an early workout in the Tamarama Gully.

The surf was big and rough and Crew leader and owner Troy Stewart was watching the waves as they approached the Bronte Surf Club shortly before 7.00am.

He suddenly spotted something floating outside the bogey hole. Realising it was a person, he sprinted down the stairs, alerting the lifeguards as he shed his clothes and headed towards the water.

A lady who was swimming in the Bogey Hole had been 28 The Beast July 2019

swiftly swept out in a big surge and was in serious trouble as the current dragged her out towards the crashing waves beyond the rocks.

Even though Mr Stewart is widely regarded as one of the best local watermen, he readily admitted to being a bit nervous when he jumped in as there were some monstrous sets rolling through.

“We’d had some massive waves the day before and it looked like it was starting to settle down a bit, but there were still some big sets coming in and I think that’s when she got taken out,” Mr Stewart, 37, told The Beast.

“The big waves filled up the bogey hole and it was like a flash rip that sucked all the water back out and took the lady with it.”

“I was a bit nervous jumping in because it was so cold and at first didn’t realise it was a small lady in trouble.”

“But the thing was there was no rescue equipment, as the lifeguards hadn’t set up yet because they had only just started duty.”

“As I was swimming out she was sort of coming in and we met halfway. She was totally unresponsive and didn’t even know I was there. I came in from behind to tuck her in so she couldn’t turn around and try to panic too much.”

“It looked like she was going down for the last time and I pulled her up and held her until the boys (lifeguards) got there.”

“I held onto her for only a few seconds before (lifeguard) Wally Eggleton turned up with a rescue tube followed by Anthony (‘Harries’) Carroll on a rescue board.”

Ironically, as Mr Carroll was paddling out he had to pull a would-be rescuer to safety who had jumped off the pool to try and help.

For their efforts the boys recently received a meritorious award from the Bronte Surf Club. The rescue was also recognised at the time by Surf Life Saving Australia as the “Rescue of the Month” and is now also under consideration for National recognition by SLSA. Bronte is renowned for its treacherous conditions and incidents like this are a warning to those unfamiliar with the ocean.

“Why anyone would have gone in the water on a day like that is beyond me,” Mr Stewart said. “You always have to respect the ocean no matter what the conditions are and know your limitations.”

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More Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words Dan Hutton Photo Melody Mahoney Instagram @melodyspics CHRISSY DONATIONS NEEDED Since 1989, The Fact Tree Youth Service has been providing support to young people and their families in the Waterloo-Redfern community struggling with complex issues like homelessness, poverty, drug and alcohol abuse and fractured family life. As part of their annual Community Christmas Party for the people they support, The Fact Tree is seeking donations of items that could be gifted to their clients for Christmas. If you would like to help, please call 9319 2708 or email lucy@facttree.org.au.

HELP WOMEN IN NEED At Wayside Chapel, one in four people seeking support for the first time during night-time hours are women, a need that will become more urgent as a harsh winter descends on the streets of Sydney. Many of these women will be seeking refuge services and necessities like food, blankets, hot showers, emergency clothing and accommodation assistance. Wayside Chapel is calling for the public to help by donating to its Winter Appeal to raise the $1.2 million needed to continue to provide these services. You can donate to the Wayside Chapel Winter Appeal at waysidechapel.org.au/winter.

Autumn day at Mackenzies Bay.

WAVERLEY LAD HONOURED Local swimming star and Waverley College student Ned Wieland has received the Young Conversation Champion Award at the inaugural Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards held by suicide prevention organisation R U OK? Ned successfully completed the English Channel swim in 2017 before taking on the Catalina Channel and the Manhattan Island Swim in 2018, raising $45,000 in funds and generating significant awareness. Ned is the youngest male to ever achieve this Triple Crown of open water swimming.

SIDEWALK TALKS A volunteer program that offers active, intentional listening to anyone who wishes to speak about anything may soon appear on the streets of Randwick City.

The peer-to-peer community listening project, which is based on the Sidewalk Talk project in San Francisco, has potential to build social cohesion, personal resilience, celebrate diversity, reduce social exclusion and develop human connection. The feasibility of implementing the project will be explored and a report returned to Randwick Council in the following months.

RESOLVE BACK PAIN STUDY The RESOLVE team need to recruit 36 more people by the end of July to take part in their groundbreaking study on back pain. Researchers at Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA) are trialing two new treatment programs in a Commonwealth Government-funded randomised controlled trial.

If you have chronic low back pain and would be interested in finding new treatments that may help decrease your pain, please contact the researchers for more information by emailing resolve@neura.edu.au or visit neura.edu.au/resolve.

BE CAREFUL BUYING BAGS If you happened to notice the price of your baggy jumped a few bucks, it could possibly be attributed to a number of drug busts in the area over the last couple of months. The Sydney Morning Herald reported that Strike Force Northrop, an operation targeting the supply and distribution of cocaine and other illicit drugs in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs, seized nearly 300 grams of cocaine, 13 grams of MDMA, 110 grams of cannabis and $63,000 in cash over just six nights in late May. They also charged 28 people with drug supply and 27 with drug possession. Hati hati!

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game’, but modern pundits understand the futility of those archaic traditions and know what it takes to win in the modern era.

If a player is found cheating on those dearest to him, simply banish him until another controversy buries the story, then return him to the firstgrade team. Also, disregard the sporting truism ‘Hydrate or die’; if his actions leave half the team without water at the drinks break, tell them to stop complaining and harden up, because Aussies are tough!

Chin music.

Waverley’s Nightwatchman Scores a Century Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblake13@yahoo.com.au Photo Ian Healy Australia is known as one of the great cricketing nations in the world, and with the recent return of a local hero to the highest level of the game, The Beast presents a timely reminder of what makes Australia great in this arena: the Aussie guide to playing cricket.

1. Keep the nightwatchman A nightwatchman is typically a less talented member of the batting line-up who defends the wicket during a precarious period. They are not required to remain in the middle on a permanent basis, rather to protect the more valuable members of the team - but not in Australia.

Waverley’s nightwatchman defied the odds and employed 32 The Beast July 2019

determined negativity and defensive tactics to withstand a weak and unimaginative bowling attack and claim the highest honour in the game.

Australia thus rejected conventional cricketing wisdom and even appointed the nightwatchman as team captain, despite the fact that he recently knifed the previous captain in the back.

2. Win at all costs Winning is everything in Australian cricket, even if that means bending the rules.

Sure, Australia may have built its international reputation on ‘sportsmanship’, giving everyone a ‘fair go’ and always playing within the ‘spirit of the

3. Re-brand your team Marketing is everything in the contemporary context, so contract a successful public relations firm and re-create the public persona of your team and players so that they appeal to middle Australia. Remember though, that wearing many different caps doesn’t automatically qualify you to wear the baggy green.

4. Fund the opposition Take the unbelievable step of providing vital funding to your opposition. Take money from taxpayers, who you represent, and apportion this money to a group of foreigners - even a powerhouse such as India, which is bursting with talent and ambition and is currently defeating Australia in almost every facet of the game. Ignore the fact that this money would otherwise have been spent on developing and educating future generations of Aussie players.

5. Choose your allies Align your team with someone who is unfit for office, or even just terribly unfit. Sure, he may eat all the pies (and the bananas, and the energy bars…) but he will always put Australia first.

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July 2019 The Beast 33

July 2019 Monday

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Bondi Winter Magic Celebrate ten years of Bondi Winter Magic as Bondi is transformed into Sydney’s winter playground by the sea until July 28. Go for a twirl on the beachside ice rink or check out the view from the Bondi Vista ferris wheel. For more information, visit bondiwintermagic.org.au.

Cinema at Bondi Pavilion Bondi Cinema Club screen the best arthouse and independent films at the Bondi Pavilion each month. Tonight’s films are the critically acclaimed documentary Kusama: Infinity and 1964 musical drama The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. Please visit cinemaclubfilmprojects.com.au.

School Holidays Fun Lift off at the Australian Museum this winter school holidays! The kids will get to explore the solar system with this jam-packed school holidays program, as well as celebrate NAIDOC Week. For more information and to book, please visit www.australianmuseum.net.au.

Bondi Feast Gala Night Highlights from across the Bondi Feast fortnight have been handpicked and squeezed into a variety show like no other that will be on from 7.30pm to 8.45pm in the Bondi Pavilion’s Big Theatre tonight. Tickets are only $25 so don’t miss out. Visit www.bondifeast.com.au.

Zirk Russian Circus ZIRK! The Big Top Circus from Russia and the World will be wowing audiences in The Showring at Moore Park from tonight until July 12. Combining Russia’s finest circus traditions with the skills of today’s daredevil heroes, it’s not to be missed. Visit www.eqmoorepark.com.au.

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Sven's Viking Pizza Deal We eat a lot of Sven’s Viking Pizza here at The Beast, so we’re stoked to announce that they’re offering our readers 30% off their first order until the end of July. All you have to do is jump on to svens.com.au and use the code ‘BEAST’ when you order. Wood fired tastes better!

The Bastille Festival is Back The French are returning to Circular Quay and The Rocks to celebrate Bastille Day from today until July 14. This year the party’s going to be bigger and more Frenchy than ever. Dig your beret out and get ready for this free entry French food, wine and art revolution.

Kids Campfire Club Learn how to survive the night through the art of campfire making at Centennial Park today from 1.00pm. Then take advantage of all your hard work by cosying up by the fire and making damper and stick bread. For more information, please visit centennialparklands.com.au.

Anthony Lister Exhibition The cover star of this month's edition of The Beast, Anthony Lister, has got something very exciting dropping this evening.

We can’t give too much away just yet but you can get the inside information directly from the man himself via his Instagram account, @anthonylister.

Laser Kiwi Get down to Bondi for Laser Kiwi, New Zealand’s favourite surreal sketch circus troupe.

What more could you want on a Thursday night? It’s on from 7-8pm in the Parlour Tent at Bondi Pavilion. More information and tickets are available from www.bondifeast.com.au.

Maloneys Home Delivery Too lazy to do your grocery shopping? Maloneys offers a complete home delivery service, so there’s no excuse for living on Domino’s and Deliveroo. Get your order in by 7pm and it’ll be delivered fresh to your door the next day. To order, please visit www.maloneysgrocer.com.au.

Randwick Council Meeting All residents are welcome to attend the Ordinary Council Meeting from 6-9pm on the 4th Tuesday of each month at the Council Chambers on the 1st floor of Randwick Town Hall.

The agenda for each meeting is available on Council’s website at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

Woollahra VIEW Club Meeting Woollahra VIEW Club meets at 10am at Woollahra’s Gaden Community Cafe on the 4th Wednesday of every month, with a guest speaker followed by an optional lunch. If you’d like to come along, please call Jan on 0422 922 095 or email nettiet@bigpond.com.

World Class Stand-Up Enjoy killer comedy with drinks delivered direct to your seat every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night at the Comedy Store Showcase in the Entertainment Quarter. For more information and to purchase your tickets, please phone 9550 3666 or visit www.comedystore.com.au.

Winter Warmer Lunch Special Coogee’s Courtyard Cafe’s winter warmer lunch specials are back! Drop in for lunch from Monday to Friday during the winter months and take advantage of $15 main meals from 12-3pm. You can also add a beer, glass of wine or a fresh juice for just $5 extra.

Join Waverley Bushcare Join like-minded locals and help make a difference to one of Waverley’s special green spaces.

You’ll learn about native plants and wildlife and enjoy the benefits of time spent in nature.

No experience is necessary. For more information, please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Food Addicts Meetings This evening, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice-weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more information, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.

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Sydney Cabaret Festival Artists and audiences collide at Sydney’s newest international festival from July 5-14, featuring the best modern cabaret artists from Australia and around the world. Escape the everyday and embrace the night at Sydney Cabaret. Please visit www.sydneycabaretfest.com.

Randwick Community Race Day The Australian Turf Club has partnered with Randwick Council to bring you a fun-filled family day. Join us at the track for free kid’s entertainment and activities including stage shows, pony rides, a petting zoo, jumping castle and more. Please visit www.theraces.com.au/rcc2019.

Bondi Sunday Markets Every Sunday from 9am to 4pm at Bondi Beach Public School you’ll find clothing from up-and-coming designers, handmade jewellery, exotic imports, retro-chic furniture, vinyl records, homewares, one-off vintage pieces and more. Visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.

Casting Off If you’re keen for an awardwinning circus show that will have you laughing out loud, then you’ll love Casting Off. As part of Bondi Feast, Casting Off is about living on the edge and talking about it. For more information and to buy tickets, head to www.bondifeast.com.au.

Swans vs Carlton Blues Our beloved Sydney Swans will take on the Carlton Blues this afternoon at the SCG from 1.45pm. Carlton has been absolutely woeful this season so we’re hoping for a convincing win. To purchase tickets and for more information, please visit sydneycricketground.com.au.

Christmas in July The Clovelly Hotel will be celebrating from 12pm with fun for the kids and a roast. Book at functions@clovellyhotel.com.au.

Art on the Streets Head to Roscoe Street Mall from 9am to see an art trail of emerging artists and grab yourself a piece of art for as little as $50.

Roosters vs Newcastle Knights The mighty Sydney Roosters will battle it out with the Newcastle Knights this afternoon at the SCG from 3.00pm. There’s not much separating the two sides so it should be an entertaining encounter. For tickets and information, please visit sydneycricketground.com.au.

Bondi History Walk Get your history fix this winter with a Bondi History Walk. As part of the Bondi Winter Magic festival, you will discover Bondi’s glorious - and not so glorious - past as you are guided around the hidden gems of the area. Book your spot at www.bondiwintermagic.org.au.

Long Lunches at Stanton & Co. Masters in the ancient art of the long lunch, Stanton & Co. in Rosebery’s epic foodie precinct have just launched a very impressive new grazing menu featuring modern Australian sharing dishes. For more information, please visit parlourgroup.com.au/stantonandco.

Beach Breaks Carnival Randwick's annual surfing themed event is on today from 12-4.30pm at Marourba Beach.

The Beach Breaks Carnival features an array of entertainment, live music and the unveiling of new inductees into the ‘Australian Surfing Walk of Fame’.

Visit randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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The Knit-In Group Join fellow knitters at Randwick’s Margaret Martin Library from 12.30-2.30pm on the 2nd and 4th Friday each month and help create warm wraps, squares and blankets that will benefit less privileged communities. For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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ANTHONY LISTER BREAKING ART

Interview James Hutton Pictures Darren Luk Instagram @everylastsecond

Anthony Lister is Australia's premier street artist and one of our most internationally recognised contemporary creatives. He began painting on the streets of Brisbane as a schoolboy before going on to exhibit around the globe. Lister is the original Adventure Painter, a gifted lateral thinker with an incredible work ethic and a passion for freedom of visual speech.

We caught up with the man himself in his Sydney studio...

How are you this afternoon, Anthony? I'm very well, thank you. I've eaten and I am thumbs up, yay.

You grew up in Brissy? Yes. What are your fondest memories from your childhood? Well, my fondest memories were probably riding my bike with my brothers and just generally hanging around sewers and skate boarding, and smelling new toys at the toy stores and drawing, pretty much. And Grandma's.

A 'normal' sort of Aussie upbringing? Absolutely, yeah, as far as I knew. I still feel like it was.

What are your brothers doing now? They pretty much just do jobs. My brother works in the mines actually - my older brother, he's four years older. My younger brother works at Pack & Send. Yeah, just jobs, you know?

I read in an interview with GQ that you grew up in a working class family and your parents didn't have much interest in art; what influenced you to become one of Australia's leading artists? Oh, that's sweet. Okay, so when I was at my dad's house, when he was busy on the weekend - which he regularly was - I would be at my Grandma's, he would take me to my Grandma's.

While I was there, she had a studio and it was out the back of her house, and as soon as I would arrive I remember we'd run up to the back of the house and she'd give us a soda and an ice cream.

She really knew the way to a kid's heart. So, I'd go out the back, we'd get an ice cream and she'd talk to me about her paintings.

At lunch time we would eat and she would give us paper, and that was it. I mean, that was really what she taught me, just to draw.

Do you have any of her artwork?

Yeah, I do actually, yeah.

Has anyone seen it? Yes, absolutely. Actually, it's my favourite, most treasured piece of artwork in my collection, which is vast and full of some really great characters. I could show you it. It's actually wonderful. It's a painting of Will Smith, and I said to Grandma when I saw it and laughed, "Grandma, do you know who that is?" and she said, "That's a very attractive young

man," and I laughed even more.

It happened to be my birthday and she gave it to me for my birthday. She was 84 when she painted it and she was born in 1919 and she just happened to pull it out of a paper.

She was bloody good? Yeah, she was. She just cut it out of a paper and she wanted to paint it. She had never sold a painting in her life and she was just awesome.

And she has passed? Yeah, she passed away. She was 91 when she passed. Born in 1919, an orphan, born on Christmas Day, 1919, left-handed. Beaten to be right-handed at school, because that was a witchcraft thing. She was never adopted out until she was 13 when she went to work for a family. She had a hard life, she had a hard life in Brisbane, yeah.

Did she get to see how big you had become with your work?

Yeah, I think so, a little bit. I do have a little bit of an interview on film of her looking through a catalogue that I was in, and just the look on her face in this film when she stops and she goes, "Hold on, you sell these?", and I said, "Yeah," and she goes, "Ha ha ha ha, these are yours?", and I go, "Yeah," and then she goes, "Oh," and she puts her glasses back on a bit and then she looks at it and she takes her glasses back off and goes, "You sell these?", and I go,

July 2019 The Beast 37

"Yes, Grandma," and she goes "Oh ho ho ha ha ha," like this, kind of like, "Alright."

So she was well aware of how successful you had become...

Well, no, because she follows on with, "How?", because it was beyond her. I still don't know but I don't think she ever really attempted to sell her work, but she was just not in the position to ever be able to manoeuvre in that way, ever. Actually, this very book is a book that she kept asking, "Where is that book? Give it back," this 'how to draw' book.

What's it called, that book? Oh, it doesn't even have a cover, but it says, "There's no special way you should hold your pencil, brush, or pastel..." It's just a drawing book, you know, stepby-step, animals and stuff.

And that was hers? Yeah, and I borrowed it from her.

And kept it... Yeah, and I meant to give it back, but it's funny that it should just be right there.

Yeah, she was great.

You're mainly known for your street art; I noticed your work everywhere over in Bali... Oh, yeah? Right on.

I didn't know you were an Aussie, and then my brother said, "Yeah, that guy lives in Bondi..." Yeah.

Do you mind being labelled a street artist? Oh, well, I mean, I don't have much say in it. I suppose another way of saying it is a natural artist, or urban artist, or Australian impressionist painter.

There's so many labels - so many names - but for now that's fine.

I mean, people get around in the street and, when it comes down to it, these days we're on our phones so much, so anything that kind of triggers in anyone's residual memory anything to do with creativity that isn't really overtly publicising anything to

38 The Beast July 2019

anybody outside of being free or activating public space is good, so I'd be proud to call myself a street artist if that's what my activation is, for sure.

You've been compared to Banksy from the UK quite a bit; do you mind those comparisons? Oh look, I think that's just a general kind of way for someone to describe things, like an analogy for people that don't really know what public intervention is. It's not actually like our work is similar. I think it's just a way of someone comparing it, like food to an alien. "Okay, so it's food, you know?" And aliens know what donuts are or some shit, and then they're like, "It's food, you know, like donuts, but this is pizza - it's called pizza, but it's a food of earth, like a donut." So, pizza is like a donut and that's how, I think in a general sense, people go, "Okay, Banksy, sure."

They're just thinking that it's a guy who paints outside... Yeah, that's right, yeah. Because they've probably heard of Banksy, and I think that would be really great because he's really good.

"If there is a formula I think I have written it down, and I think I keep losing it for a reason."

You've spoken about having 'Multiple creative personality disorder'; is that an actual thing?

Can you explain what that is and how that's helped shape your work? Okay, well I guess, just like in a psychological context, studying anthropology, sociology and just in a general human sense, I've come up with different conditions, like 'quadpolar' or 'tripolar'. And it's just being multidimensional and diverse. It's also a place where I've developed words like 'apocoloptomistical'.

"What else have I come up with, Anthony?" "Oh, we've come up with heaps of shit, Ant." Yeah, so, you know, it's like that.

I started Googling it last night to see if it was actually a real thing... Okay, you couldn't find anything on it? Well, okay, for example, to be specific, if I'm to do some signatures on the street with a certain group of friends in Ireland or Vienna, and I don't particularly want to be writing the signature that I would write on my professional canvasses, then I adopt a different name.

And these are names that have kind of existed over time for me. And just running around in the streets hanging out with different demographics of creatives, from the most absurd and ephemeral practices, and them taking themselves and their work absolutely hardcore serious, in comparison to artists whose artwork will echo in eternity and will be in the canon of art history, and they just see themselves as absurdist kind of Dadas, like, "Well whatever, blah blah blah."

It's really extreme and massively ironic a lot of the times, you know? So, you have these graffiti artists and their work will be cleaned off in five, ten hours at most, and they're just f*cking balls to the wall sweating and, you know, you don't want to say the wrong thing, and it's serious, you know? Yeah, so that's it. So, different names... same stink, different city.

When you create a new piece of art is there any formula to it? Or is there a completely different approach each time? Well, that's a good question. It's a little bit different each time and there's a little bit of formula to it. The formula exists in the activation of the materials, mostly so they don't rot and decay over time, just for an archival point of view.

But outside of that, gosh, you've really stumped me. If there is a formula I think I have written it

July 2019 The Beast 39

down, and I think I keep losing it for a reason. Yeah, and then there's something else that you asked just now...

Do you start by say, drawing an outline with a pencil for example? I know nothing about art... Okay, yeah, so I would try and go in with some sort of idea, and if I don't have an idea, which is often the case, I'll be attracted to something that is... what's the word when you can taste what it looks like? Not 'onomatopoeia', is it 'tactile'? Anyway, it'll be a colour or something and then I'll go right into it. But yeah, it'll start with some sketches maybe, like what I'm doing up here.

This is an old thing I'm trying to emulate because I lost the actual book, so I just found photos of it the other day. I'm trying to actually make a book at the moment about my process and the steps that I go through; taking it very literally from a photo shoot, to sketches, to paintings; trying to take it pretty literally. But outside of that, I just finished a body of work which I showed in Brisbane at Fireworks Gallery about the Ned Kelly series of works...

"I think a lot, and I think I act moderately in comparison to how much I think. I also think a lot of people don't act at all."

Is that Bad Boys? Yeah, the Bad Boys show, with Scott Redford.

I remade 25 of the 27 Ned Kelly paintings that Sidney Nolan painted - historically legendary paintings and I remade them, and then just edited them. I actually made them a bit too good; I think I made them a bit too similar. But then I paint this and I think, "Oh shit, I got it too close, it looks too much like it,"

40 The Beast July 2019

so then I'd write, "Dead cops, ten points." And then to add onto that, I made a Ned Kelly suit out of wheelie bins, I was pretty happy with that. I like sculpture too, I like bronze; there's a bronze hand actually. And I'm sorry but in this interview I'm not sure if there's any visuals of any of this stuff, but this is a bronze hand, and it's not very good. I made it in Bondi actually. It's quite heavy. But this is how love greets you, and this is how love leaves you, right? And that's fathers, sons, girlfriends, parents, children. It's like, "Love is a motherf*cker."

So do you need to heat that up to shape it? Oh no, okay, so I build it out of clay and then I send it to my forger. What's his name in Greek mythology? You know, the guy who makes the weapons for God? Anyway, there's a name for the guy who makes the weapons of the Gods and he's a large person, and I sent it to my guy like that, his name's Dean. Rodin was a great sculptor. Hephaestus!

That's it, Hephaestus.

So, the Bad Boys exhibition, that's at the Fireworks Gallery in Brisbane? That's right, yeah.

And there's 25 pieces? That must've taken you frigging forever to do that; do you just work your arse off for months until it's done? How long does it take you to get it done? It's just got to get done, but I guess a couple of months maybe, to do them all. I pretty much will sketch them all quite swiftly and then it's just a matter of rendering them. I wrote something down about it that said something like, something about... I'd like to get it right so I'm just going to have a quick look. I've got a lot of notes, these are all my formulas. It's like, time travel and all sorts of shit in here. It's like, Rick and Morty's f*cking... what is it, is it dark matter or something? Dark matter formulas. It's very simple

really, but it's something like, "Painting is a constant mistake after rendering..." If it's not on this page, I surrender. But you know, it's a mistake thing. It's okay, it's not important. When we find it, it's just going to be an anticlimax. No, it will be, really.

I'll keep looking though, because it's really going to be the biggest anticlimax.

I need to hear what it is now...

You're going to hold on for it?

Yeah, see this is where all my big ideas go. Okay, here we go: "Painting is resolving one mistake after another." It's resolving; painting is resolving one mistake after another. So, that's good.

Okay, so another way of saying it; a great painter, Chuck Close, said, "I'm far more interested in problem creation than problem solution." In my saying, when I say, "Painting is resolving one mistake after another," it's solution finding - it's problem solving. When we start with a white canvas, there's no problem there; it blends in with the wall, there's no problem. It's when we start marking it, that's when the equations of how to nut this thing out actually become difficult. That's painting, and it's a wonderful and dangerous journey. You can get lost in a vortex.

I watched your documentary last night, Have You Seen The Listers?

Oh, cool one, fresh. I have not seen it for a long time.

It is bloody unreal, I absolutely loved it... Thank you.

I don't know if it was part of the message of the doco, but I sometimes got this feeling that you kind of used your art to escape or run away from something; is your work an escape for you?

Are you hiding or running away from anything? Sure, everything, everyone, all the time. But I think I do it for everybody. I think it's actually something that... I'm out here so that everybody else

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doesn't have to be. It would be nice if everybody else was making stuff as much as they were breaking stuff, or critiquing other people for doing it, but they're not. And it's a bit sad actually, in this current climate, that there's so much of society held within the shackles of authority, to the point where they would press a button if told to do so by somebody in a uniform until somebody else died. That's scary.

I think a lot, and I think I act moderately in comparison to how much I think. I also think a lot of people don't act at all. And it's a dark time, it's a dark time when you can't put an ad on the radio, you know? Advertising, going out there writing on the walls what your vote is. That's dark. Do you reckon that's dark?

Are you using painting as a way of escaping though? Naturally, who wouldn't? It's like saying, "Do you drive your car as a way of escape?" It's like, f*cking yes going from A to B, it's a journey.

I think anything done in solitude definitely tinkers on escapism, and isolation. That's the nature of doing anything by oneself. And something so selfish as painting, or driving a car for that matter, is definitely escapism, that would be one of the words.

Do you know why you're trying to escape, or what you're actually trying to escape from? Well, everything...

Just reality? Well, reality is a very general term. To be more articulate, I'd say everything else that I'm not doing. Yeah, there you go.

When you were capturing all that footage, did you ever envisage that there would one day be a documentary made about your life? Or was it just coincidental that you were documenting everything? Yeah, it was just coincidental. I didn't even feel like I was making that many

42 The Beast July 2019

movies actually; I didn't really know any programs very well at all, if any. I still don't. I was kind of just pressing the photos and then occasionally would press the red button.

All those key moments that you captured in your life... Yeah.

Even the voicemails between you and Annika... Well, I mean that was just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, because that's harsh as shit, you know. There are a lot of things - a lot of context - that are missing from the film too. A lot of times it would be, like, in LA for example, but there would be years apart. So there's so much pain actually, and so much travel, so much actual effort that was kind of left out of that film. Not that I needed there to be some sort of acknowledgement of it, but it was condensed.

I can't think of another example where so many years of a person's life have been put so well into an hour and a half, it is so well made... I don't know who filmed as much as me. And I didn't even really feel like I was filming. I mean, really, when it comes down to it I guess I'm a documentarian, but at the same time I'm a complete narcissist, so it doesn't even really matter.

Like, what does it mean? If you're documenting someone else or an animal then props to you, but if you're just filming yourself...

Does narcissism always have to have a negative connotation?

You've created this movie about you but without really coming across as arrogant... I took all this footage, and it's strange because it started out like taking photos of my paintings, and me and my mates skateboarding, and then you start hoarding your photos and your photo albums, and then it just becomes a collection of not only your friends'

work, but your own work. And I don't spend that much time looking back, and when you're documenting you're not looking back all that much. Although I do look back, I think I just move forward a lot. And I think Eddie must've really thought, "Oh, here we go," the director must've thought, "F*ck yeah, this kid's done all my work for me!"

Well, I suppose you have... And then I couldn't have woven it together like that, I would've woven it together like some sort of Guns N' Roses film clip. He did a good, emo job.

"Well, I haven't actually been in a situation where the police made it better when they've gotten involved, just to be honest."

You've been constantly exhibiting around the globe and receiving huge amounts of attention overseas for your art; have you had the same response here in Australia that you've had overseas? I don't know. For someone that's based in Sydney, I've never seen someone have 50 per cent of their market being the US or something, you know what I mean? And I find that quite fascinating for someone that's based in Australia. This last show I just did, all of the sales were US and UK. This is Bad Boys? Yeah, it's pretty rad.

You were based in New York for a bit? I was based in New York, and when I get on the road I really punch it, I really go hard.

In the documentary there's this quote where you said, "In environments like Europe

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and America there's history of respecting creativity and having it's value in society. Australia, not so much. Brisbane, f*ck no! But I believe that change is possible and I have to fight for it." How is that fight going? Well, okay, so in context to having said that, that was when I was returning to Brisbane to go to court. And actually they missed the bit where, did they say that cost me $78,000 to go to court that time? That was expensive, and it was to not get a conviction, sure. But it was also to say, "No, I'm not going to let you guys just f*ck me like this." And it was probably, maybe, I don't know if it was good or bad, or whatever.

It looked good, I was wearing a terrible suit, but it made a point for the police, who aren't our friends, and it's sad but it's true.

So, f*ck the police, and all cops are bastards.

I've had some less than enjoyable experiences with police as well but I realise that they're not all pricks... No, of course.

great for them but, I don't know, I'd rather have no opinion on it, but the fact is I do.

How do you define 'success'? Do you care about being successful or are you just happy doing your thing, regardless of what other people think? Okay, well they're different things. I do think I'm happy doing my thing regardless.

I mean, what people think - what people, what time period - it's all too vague. As far as success goes, I've said before, success to me is waking up and wanting to get up.

And I think I stand by that. Is it important to me? Yeah, I need to want to get up. And some days I don't want to get up, they're the days I'm not very successful - at getting up, for starters. But, in general, maybe they're just down days.

"I mean, they're gifts that I feel like I sincerely give to the communities, and with harm to none, I really try to bring joy and enlightenment through my activation of these things."

Do you really feel that strongly about the police? Well, I haven't actually been in a situation where the police have made it better when they've gotten involved, just to be honest. And I've been in a few of those situations in the peripheral, or in the direct, and actually, you know, I can't think of one where they've made it better. So yeah, I reckon I stand by that one.

Has your success brought you happiness? Oh yeah, it's bought me heaps of shit, man. I've bought that car out the front.

Do they need to change how they train police and how policing is done? Massively, of course they need to. Yeah, of course, it's absurd, you know, the brutes.

They're brutes, and whoever thinks they're joining the police force to change anything for the better is seriously disrupted in the head. Because what they'll soon find out is that they're yet to be brainwashed and they're joining the bigger gang than any gang on the street. And that's

Matte black! Yeah, I painted it.

Okay, so happiness, it's a bit of a trick, happiness, because there's that whole bit where, one foot up, one foot down, with the left comes the right... and happiness is a bit dramatic of a step to jump to when it comes to thinking about the future or the past. I like to think about it in place of joy, and I like to think about joy in the sense that it's constantly lurking, waiting to surprise you.

And that's how I curb my expec-

44 The Beast July 2019

tations of happiness. And that wasn't thought up by me, I'm just passing on the teachings of the taught. Yeah.

Can you tell us a bit about your time over in Bali and Canggu?

Well, I was naturally shopping for tasers and laser pistols. I like to go souvenir shopping, DVD shopping, and sometimes I forget to unpack - what was that firearms charge I almost got? It was for a BB gun. And also those lights, the laser lights that point up really high. Oh, and cigarettes, lots of cigarettes.

We had a lot of cigarettes. You just go to Bali to shop, you know.

Give money to the kids, run from monkeys, that sort of thing.

A lot of your art over there has been covered and hidden away as new development takes place; do you bum out when that happens? Oh, I don't get the memos, but it just happens. I'm just undercoat for somebody else and I don't mind that, it's something that I've come to terms with.

I guess first, in the early days, maybe it bothered me, but my practice in the wild, I don't have control over that. I have control over what I do, but after that... I mean, they're gifts that I feel like I sincerely give to the communities, and with harm to none, I really try to bring joy and enlightenment through my activation of these things. So, yeah, when they're gone it's a bummer, but hopefully by me making it in the first place it's turned on ten other people who will continue on in my path and populate and promulgate other creative areas.

I assume you're selling the majority of what you're creating; do you ever wish you'd kept some of those artworks back? Do you ever miss any of your paintings now that you don't have them anymore? All of them. All of them. I'm like the alien mothership where I just give these aliens out, you know? But I've got to

be hard as f*ck, like a soldier, because I make these things that I love, these children of my corn, these spawn of my echoing existence, and then I have to let them go. Like, this kind of breeding mothership that sells children or breast milk. You know that women just pump breast milk all day long? Like, have this whole fleet of breast milk? Like that, but I'm not pumping it so much like that, I'm just like... you know? I make things I love and then I have to let them go. It's hard. It's hard to turn off the love for things because they're not objects to me. It's like saying a child is an object, it's like being able to sell a child. Who can sell a child?

It's not an object, but people can sell children. People think of children like their objects, and that's disturbing, but you just hope that the parents of these babies that you send out there, that somebody sells for monetary value - that disgusts me - you just hope that they're getting good parents. Because I'm obviously too busy making to be, you know, hanging out with paintings all day. Playing in the playground, shit like that. I've been there you know, I've got too many permanent children right now.

How do you feel about social media and the world's addiction to it? Oh, okay, yeah. So, social networking, social media. Look, it's dangerous, it's scary, it's out there, it's a third person, it's a third wheel, it's an elephant in the room. As soon as I turn on my computer, it's like, "Hey, how are you doing?" Actually, I find it offensive, but I won't obviously tell anybody that I'm offended.

Not for another ten years I think, until it comes about that actually, all of the underwater people...

Okay, so getting back to it, long story short, screens, beans, no longer a fruit, the more you screen the more you f*cking end the world.

Do you like the way society's going? The narcissism, the commercialism, that sort of thing?

Do you think about that much?

Sure. Because I'm an elder, or at least an adult, that's for certain.

And just looking at this hell we've developed, and where we're going, it's increasingly disturbing and needs immediate attention.

For one, the environment; for two, the human condition; for three, the leaders; for four, the police; for five, the environment; for six, the human condition;

for seven, the leaders... yes, you know, there's problems. And, there's an island of waste in the water, there's children dying of starvation and malnutrition in today's age. There are children in prisons. You know, they build 22 prisons for every one university in the States at the moment?

Like, what the f*ck?

That's insane... What the f*ck?

In the Northern Territory of Australia, 99 per cent of inmates are indigenous. That's f*cking ridiculous, it's out of control. And here we've got Coca-Cola with every single billboard, not telling people to rise up and fight the system, not telling people to feed the children water, or to get an education; they're telling them to drink sugar. And now everyone's diabetic and it's... I don't know, the greedy are getting greedier and the rich are getting complacent, and I don't know, there's a lot of people that won't ever own houses, a lot of people won't ever own fruit. There's a lot of people that won't ever see the ocean, and they live right next door to it.

It's terrible, it's really shocking.

Well, what do you do? Turn on the air conditioner, whack on the telly, buy some Ben and Jerry's

July 2019 The Beast 45

and watch some Netflix. What are you going to do?

How would you describe Australian culture? Yeah, very good question. Okay, culture... well, culture is over. Culture is over for us, sadly.

For us, as in Australia? Yeah, yeah. Culture is over, we never had a chance. Boxing kangaroo in a cage, cockatoo in a cage, what would they paint if they could do one more? Beach umbrellas, perverts on the beach, dead kangaroos, wombats, koalas, roadkill, dingoes eating baby, bikey speed production from burnouts on light bulbs, Crocodile Dundee f*cking a crocodile, Mad Max, Aboriginal, family barbecue, Aboriginal Ronald McDonald, football players...

You know, drinking in the park, police brutality, what's Australian culture? Shall I go on?

Yeah, if there's more... Okay, build an ATM, write the New Testament, make a website, publish literature, stickers, start a cult, start a peaceful revolution, die a hero, live long enough to become a villain, lottery tickets...

Culture is over, that's for certain.

I think that's it.

That's covered it... I think we did it. Yeah, I mean there's more, but that's just the inlay.

You studied a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at Queensland College of Arts; what made you choose that path, and did you find it to be a worthwhile exercise? Yeah, I did. I found going to university very worthwhile. I didn't really know it until afterwards though.

Would you recommend that artists study at a professional institution like QCA? Sure, look, anyone with any interest in intellectual conversation or ways and means of conversing articulately, like a f*cking art snob, knob

46 The Beast July 2019

head f*cking artsy fartsy... what else do you call them here? You know, a f*cking...

Toff... Yeah, all those things.

You know, the words. It's good to learn words, it's good to converse, and it's just good for discipline because it was hard for me, because I didn't come from anyone that ever studied. Nobody in any existence of my family went to university, so I just kind of held on all the way. It wasn't easy, it's not like I had a choice to do it. You hear of some of these kids in some of these countries, with wealth, bank accounts that they could never even penetrate of their family's dynasty, say, "Oh you know, I chose to do it, it was a good choice..." but for me, I worked my arse off to get into it.

"Nobody in any existence of my family went to university, so I just kind of held on all the way. It wasn't easy, it's not like I had a choice to do it."

Was it a three-year course?

Through school, and then through getting into university, like I was the last bracket of people that could get into university based on a portfolio and certain grades in high school.

I was very fortunate actually. I tried one year and I didn't get in. I tried the next year and I did get in. And it was good. I mean, I hated it, and I failed, and then I passed, but looking back on it, it was very fundamental to my development as far as being able to have a vocabulary and operate with professionals as I do today.

And it's one of these things you tick off a box, like dropping in on a skateboard. It's like, "Yeah, yeah I did it." You can't say you did it if you didn't do it, and then once you do it, they be like, "Did

you do it?" and you're like, "Yeah I did it," and it's cool, let's move on, let's talk about other things.

But if you didn't do it, it's like, "Oh, you didn't do it?" Do you know what I mean?

I don't know if I do... Like skateboarding or something, you know? You don't want to pretend you're something you're not. So like, when you're going to do art school or something, or when you're taking something seriously, you want to get it done so that every other conversation in the future isn't wrapped around somebody that has done something, judging you for something.

It gives you credibility, having completed the course? That's probably a better way of saying what I'm saying, yeah.

When I was Googling you last night... You were not.

I Googled you so much... Oh, gosh.

The name Max Gimblett comes up a lot; can you tell us about Max and how he influenced your work? Well, Max is a f*cking old school graffiti artist. He never took it to the streets but he's got the power. He taught me moves that have stuck with me.

Would you say he's your biggest influence? No, no, breathing is massively my biggest influence.

But artistically speaking, he has this Jidokwan power, you know?

He has this chi about him that's... yeah, he was serious, he's a serious dude, and when you make coffee for Max, you best not f*ck it up, because he gets harsh, really harsh. And he'll say things to you that will hurt your feelings.

And it's just real and he's just... maybe he's having a bad day, but he's a nice guy, he's Buddhist, a practising monk. What can I say about Max? You see him with a mop, you do your tags differently after that. Yeah, he's serious.

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Do you have a favourite Australian artist? Oh wow, yeah sure.

Well, first it goes straight to Brett Whiteley, okay. So that's the obvious, that's who I came up thinking, "Wow, that's party art, what a legend." And since then, maybe more so, as far as Australians go, Norman Lindsay. Or, I would say Ian Fairweather is a real legend. And you know, his work didn't even really end up looking any good, but he really had a dynamism. He really had a f*cking... just a synergy of calmness and peaceful irreverence for anything outside of his work. It was very Van Gogh of him. He actually built a raft to sail to Asia from Fraser Island, which he lived on - f*cking goannas and shit with no power - for decades.

He built this raft, he went out fifteen days, he was just on this raft, dying. They said he was dead and then they found him alive, and then he went back to his f*cking hut and kept painting.

What a legend, what a legend!

When asked about your paintings of ballerinas, you've been quoted as saying, "I'm interested in culture and societies' judgment systems on culture. Ballerinas are kind of like strippers, but they don't take their clothes off. I'm interested in breaking art, I'm interested in philosophy."

What do you mean by 'breaking art'? Oh good, yeah, okay so as far as breaking art goes, it's an absurd concept, and I think absurdity needs to be kept in the realm of consciousness when it comes to making art, or artefacts for that matter. So when it comes to making facts, absurdity needs to be kept in mind because everything you imagine is real when it comes to the realm of practising magic, and I think Picasso would be the first to acknowledge that breaking art is in the forefront and utmost prioritisation of any practitioner that is willing to take it to the end of the peak where the slither exists where you can slap it and it's actually put down

48 The Beast July 2019

in the books of history. But I'm just a child. All the good ones are dead, but at least they get to live through us, hey.

Have you had much feedback from the Nolan fans on the Bad Boys exhibition? I don't know if I have. I get scared of my messages, what do they say about it?

The responses have been really good.

"It would be awesome to be standing on the shoulders of giants, echoing in eternity with some relevant significant technical and conceptual rationale of something special."

In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Anthony Lister?

Wow, okay. In an ideal world, what does the future hold? Well, in an ideal world, to see us all living forever. Well, personally, professionally speaking, it would see epic examinations of my practice in museums around Australia and around the world.

Touring and inspiring a lot of kids that go to school and don't know what to do with themselves, and adults, or aliens for that matter. Personally speaking, I would just see me growing old, and my children growing old, and their children growing old, and everybody doing it happily, and the environment being strong, and there being this collective consciousness of positivity, good human contact, no war.

How would you like to be remembered? Oh wow, that's even sweet just to say remembered - to think that you'd go down remembered. I mean, how many people are even remem-

bered, you know? I've got books on people that I never knew that I will remember. And then there's memory of people that you actually knew. But remembered? I guess you can only be as remembered by as many people as you know, or as many people who think they know you through your practice. So, there's those two things again: there's the professional, and then there's the life. How would I like to go down remembered professionally? It would be awesome to be standing on the shoulders of giants, echoing in eternity with some relevant significant technical and conceptual rationale of something special. Personally, I just want to... I'm flattered to think that anyone would remember me. Given that if that was the case, as a happy, funny, sweet, peaceful dude. That's how it would be. Just suck on my finger and look at them with my big eyelashes.

You've always been nice to everyone? People will have nice, fond memories of you by the sounds of things... Oh, well, that's only from my account.

Actually, I hear the latter. I hear a lot of bullshit about me, but I don't know where anyone gets it from. I feel like I am nice to everybody.

The Beast is an Eastern Suburbs magazine so we should probably quickly touch on your time in Bondi... Sure, sure, okay. Well, you know, the famous Bondi wall, the pool there, I actually activated that and painted a big 'Bondi' for the first time there, where it says 'Bondi', you know where I mean?

You did the first graffiti there, at the north end? Yeah, on the pool.

I did the first graffiti. Before me there was a community painting or something that had been there for like 17 years, or something that no one could even recognise.

And I just was like, "F*ck this,"

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July 2019 The Beast 49

and I actually, over a series of nights, went down and did a massive Bondi painting.

"The plan was to live in Bondi for a summer and then see what happened. You know, get the kids in school there, but it wasn't meant to be. There was a drastic shift in my trajectory, or at least in my family's trajectory."

At North Bondi? Yeah, at North Bondi, at the pool there. And then eventually it got covered up, or something, and then they commissioned an artist to actually go back and do it, but they did it smaller than I'd done

it. And what else about Bondi? I mean, so many things...

How long did you live here for?

I lived in Bondi for about six months, but I'd been dating Bondi for about a year and a half solidly in the lead up, and on the kind of, what do they call it? Detoxing of Bondi? It's something that really takes a hold of your whole lifestyle, your whole spirit. I felt like I was really connected to Bondi.

Were you planning on living in Bondi long-term? Yeah, I was.

Sure, sure I was. The plan was to live in Bondi for a summer and then see what happened.

You know, get the kids in school there, but it wasn't meant to be. There was a drastic shift in my trajectory, or at least in my family's trajectory. I kind of was a bit two steps behind. But I would travel from Bondi to Miami to Paris, back and forward, you know, come home, and I just left my house to a bunch of skaters

from f*cking Texas or Toronto, or some shit. I'd arrive home from Miami to find Dustin, Dawn, f*cking ten other f*cking Satanic skating monkeyheads asleep in my shit. You know, clogged toilets... But it was great. I painted a bit out there, but for somebody with so much to run from, Bondi seems at times too small of a pond to constantly keep weeing in, and not getting everyone looking at you when you get out of the pool, if you know what I mean? The purple kind of tinge, just around a bit too long, and you're like, "Oh shit, okay." Pick another name, or move to another state or something, I don't know. Yeah, I speak in a lot of riddles, but they're not really riddles; they're just like ambiguous kind of anecdotes, you see?

Lister has something big planned for July, you can follow his Instagram at @anthonylister for updates.

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human being. No wonder it’s such a growth industry.

Don't pretend you don't know who she is.

The Unreliable Guide To... Porn Words Nat Shepherd Photo Wayne Kerr Love it or loathe it, porn is big business. Last year it netted an estimated $138 billion - an incredible $4,300 per second.

The website ‘Paint Bottle’ estimates that 30 per cent of all data transferred online is porn.

That’s a lot of wanking, but is it doing us any harm? Surely porn is just entertainment? Many claim it prevents infidelity or enlivens sex lives that have lost their lustre. Mega porn stars like Jenna Jameson earn big bucks - her personal fortune is estimated at A$42 million. So what’s the problem with porn?

The Unreliable Guide has been doing some research on your behalf (ahem) and the results were surprising.

Porn can permanently rewire your brain Columbia University researcher, Dr. Norman Doidge, has found that porn triggers the release of chemicals that can make lasting changes to your brain. For years scientists believed only ingested substances such as cocaine, coffee, heroin, etc. could cause addiction, but now we know that online entertainment like gambling, gaming, surfing and social networking can do the same. Bad enough, but according to the director of the United 52 The Beast July 2019

States’ National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), Dr. Nora Volkow, porn has the strongest addictive tendency of all these online habits. Why? It’s porn’s ability to imitate real sex, a function vital to the survival of the species, that enables it to hijack the brain’s reward pathways and flood your brain with intense levels of dopamine.

When the brain tries to defend itself by releasing another chemical that slows the pleasure response, addicts must seek more and more of their drug to get the same high. For junkies that’s more dope, for porn addicts it means harder and more extreme porn.

Porn is bad for your sex-life Assuming you manage not to develop or induce crippling low self-esteem by expecting you and your partner to look and perform like porn stars, porn helps bring back the fizz into a flagging sex life, right? Not necessarily. Due to those unnatural levels of dopamine, research shows that those who make frequent use of pornography have brains that are less active, less connected and actually smaller in some areas. Porn can physically and psychologically programme you to prefer sex with your laptop instead of a real life

Porn is unrealistic Most men don’t have twelve inch cocks and the lady garden was not designed for more than one caller at a time; porn suggests that such things are not only normal but that they are easy to achieve. And teenagers are buying into that fantasy.

Porn creates the illusion that the sexual Olympics are achieved instantaneously. They omit the hours of preparation, the injections, the lubrications and manipulations that take place off camera before the show begins.

And even the professionals get it wrong. Some male performers permanently damage their dicks through excessive injections of erectile drugs. Female porn actresses required to accommodate multifarious simultaneous nobs and objects into unexpected places can suffer terrible internal damage. But hey, that’s off camera so don’t worry about it. Just don’t try it at home, kids.

Porn star or sex slave?

Porn, like food, is not always free range and organic. Some porn stars, like Jenna Jameson, make a great deal of money, but watch the US sex industry’s AVN awards, the ‘Oscars of Porn’, and it would appear as if everyone doing the dirty on camera ends up walking down the red carpet to fame and fortune. Not true. Many porn actors and actresses are poorly paid and would much rather be doing something else. Some are conned into it with offers of real acting work. Some aren’t even there willingly but are victims of sex trafficking. Sexy huh?

Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests that if you find yourself booking a dirty weekend for you and your laptop it might be time to rethink. Porn is for wankers.

July 2019 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Bill Morris Instagram @billmorris Monday

Tuesday

4 0326 0925 1501 2133

0.25 1.45 0.46 2.04

5 0415 1018 1555 2224

0.23 1.46 0.47 2.01

1.69 0.40 1.51 0.63

10 0212 0841 1508 2119

1.56 0.45 1.55 0.64

11 0318 0934 1607 2233

1.45 0.49 1.61 0.61

12 0425 1026 1703 2340

1.37 0.52 1.68 0.55

0.41 1.33 0.55 1.82

17 0245 0838 1408 2043

0.39 1.33 0.56 1.81

18 0322 0917 1446 2119

0.40 1.34 0.57 1.79

19 0358 0955 1525 2154

23 0625 0.52 1240 1.34 1821 0.72

24 0030 0707 1330 1920

1.45 0.55 1.37 0.75

25 0121 0753 1423 2028

1.37 0.57 1.40 0.75

26 0221 0843 1518 2141

30 0041 0633 1214 1848

31 0130 0726 1305 1938

0.28 1.40 0.41 1.98

0.37 1.43 0.47 1.97

8 0011 0654 1308 1854

1.82 0.34 1.48 0.59

9 0109 0747 1408 2004

15 0125 0.44 0713 1.32 1247 0.55 1925 1.81

16 0207 0757 1329 2005

22 0545 1154 1730 2345

Ethan sliding.

Friday

0.30 1.44 0.46 2.02

2 0148 0742 1322 1956

29 0537 1.29 1121 0.52 1758 1.77

•

Thursday

3 0236 0832 1411 2044

1 0101 0.47 0651 1.41 1236 0.49 1910 1.88

0.49 1.33 0.68 1.54

Wednesday

•

0.40 1.35 0.46 1.89

•

•

Saturday 6 0508 1113 1651 2316

Sunday

0.25 1.46 0.50 1.93

7 0600 0.29 1209 1.46 1750 0.55

13 0527 1.34 1115 0.53 1755 1.74

14 0037 0623 1202 1842

0.49 1.32 0.54 1.78

0.41 1.34 0.58 1.75

20 0433 1033 1603 2230

0.43 1.33 0.61 1.69

21 0509 1113 1645 2306

0.46 1.33 0.64 1.62

1.30 0.58 1.46 0.72

27 0329 0935 1614 2249

1.26 0.58 1.54 0.63

28 0436 1029 1707 2348

1.26 0.56 1.65 0.52

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They're everywhere.

Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane?

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo J. Edgar Hover Recently I found myself cornered into a discussion about the appropriate age to arm your child with a mobile phone. As I reluctantly considered my position, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up to warn me against the opinionated and stereotypical judgment I was about to make. Heeding the warning, I feebly replied, “Whatever age the parent feels is appropriate.”

I later posed the question to Siri, who informed me that around 50 per cent of kids in the United States and United Kingdom had a mobile by 10.3 years of age, with Australia not far behind. I was also intrigued to know why parents felt the need to get their child a phone in the first place. Answers included, “So I can keep in touch”, “In case of emergency”, “So I can stay involved”, and, “Because their friends have one”. The reality is, however, that parents whose kids had phones actually wanted their kids to have them, inadvertently creating what is commonly referred to as ‘the world’s longest umbilical cord’ and a major contributor to the syndrome known as ‘helicopter parenting’.

The ‘helicopter parent’ is not new, indeed the term first 56 The Beast July 2019

landed in the ‘60s, but today the phrase takes on new meaning and, with the advent of the smartphone, is more prevalent than ever. The helicopter parent hovers over their child, being overly intrusive and taking on far too much responsibility for their child’s choices and outcomes. They work hard at lining things up so the kid will have a perfect life, sheltered from harm’s way and free from the heartache of rejection. Engineering the child into the right class with the right teacher, directing play, controlling their interests, hobbies, extra curricular activities and even doing their homework are all examples of overparenting or ‘hovering’.

The effects of helicopter parenting are real and long-lasting.

Research shows that overbearing, overprotective and overly controlling parents run the risk of subjecting their children to life-long psychological harm; it can stunt their independence, happiness and general wellbeing, and leaves them less able to regulate their own behaviour. It has been shown to be comparable in scale to an individual who has suffered bereavement.

As the cotton wool falls away

and the child matures, they can struggle to be self-sufficient, have difficulty developing relationships and careers, struggle to cope with setbacks and find it hard to rebound from failure; a result of never having made their own choices and learning from their mistakes.

Child-rearing is challenging and the human instinct to protect a child at any cost in the face of danger is understandable. However, at some stage there is a tipping point and it can be a slippery slope if boundaries and rules are not enforced from an early age.

According to a recent article in Time, Western parents tend to enshrine their children and crave their friendship, often resulting in parents obeying their children rather than the opposite. On a more positive note, there’s strong evidence that parental involvement is correlated with positive child outcomes, but it can be associated with higher levels of anxiety and depression if it’s not developmentally appropriate.

What should parents do?

Focus on the long-term picture rather than the short-term bailout. If you feel you’re using your child to fill a gap in your life, consider working on your own needs and pursuits. Talk to your kids; ask them how they would handle a tricky situation, support their response and try not to intervene. If your child is struggling with something, resist doing it for them and offer coaching instead. As for when to get your child a mobile phone, Bill Gates reckons 14 is okay, but Steve Jobs didn’t let any of his children use Apple products.

Maybe they foresaw the negative impact on child wellbeing.

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Marco Moretti on another barnstorming run.

Riding the Waverley Spirit Words Alasdair McClintock Photo Angus McPherson One of my favourite smells is freshly mown grass. This is not uncommon and I’d wager that at least ninety per cent of people who share this quirk played rugby union, or another team sport, when they were younger.

For us, freshly mown grass doesn’t just smell like, well, grass, it smells like opportunity, excitement and a chance to excel. To run like the wind and feel the fresh air dance sumptuously across your skin, as parents and peers cheer you on for a few fleeting moments, before Monday comes and shutters these magical moments away for another working week.

These dreams may be memories now for most of us, but a trip down to Queens Park on the weekend, to see the boys of Waverley College don their stripes, should light a fire in even the dampest of fogies.

Waverley may not be the first name that pops into people’s heads when talking of schoolboy rugby in Sydney, but their pedigree is stronger than you may think; the fact Queens Park

is known as ‘Death Valley’ to the school’s opponents is a fair indication of this. They fight above their weight, which makes their achievements extra special, and as underdogs makes them an easy team to get behind. Unless they have an obnoxious supporter like Drake in their corner, but as far as I know, they do not.

They do, however, have Director of Co-Curricula, Steve O’Donnell.

Steve attributes the school’s success to its community of coaches, old boys and staff, who go out of their way to get the best out of the students.

“We may not have the same resources or budget that some wealthier schools have,” Mr O’Donnell said, “but we use what we have extremely well and like to often use this as motivation when playing.”

Mr O’Donnell also knows the game is far bigger than just the score line at the end of it.

“We love to win, but more importantly how our students conduct themselves on and off the field is vital. Winning with humility and losing gracefully

are key messages we try to instil in all of our students.”

Winning is still nice though and this year their 1st XV are keen to avenge falling heartbreakingly short of the premiership last year. They kicked off their season with some high scoring draws against strong opposition, including a 26-26 draw with Kings in a Waratahs curtain raiser, plus a tight 47-49 loss to traditional rugby powerhouse, St Joseph’s College (Joeys). Yes, you read that right, 47-49. While rugby at the top level is struggling to entertain the masses, the schoolboy competitions are clearly producing some belters.

“We get good crowds down to Queens and I think the players and supporters like watching schoolboy rugby, as it is always exciting and is what rugby is all about in its true essence.” Mr O’Donnell said.

“Maybe they should be televising more schoolboy games.

Our recent matches against some of the GPS powerhouse schools would have made great watching on TV!” July 2019 The Beast 57

Sophia being awarded for Young Conservationist of the Year with the Duchess of Sussex.

Change-Makers: Three Women on a Plastic-Free Mission Words Nicola Saltman, Waverley Senior Sustainability Officer What do a local mum, writer and high school student-comeplastics campaigner have in common? They are ordinary yet extraordinary women making it their mission to rid the world of single-use plastics.

With Plastic Free July just around the corner, we talked to these female change-makers about their paths in inspiring others to make plastic-free living second nature.

Emily Albert Bronte mum and co-founder, Plastic Free Bronte Bronte mum-of-two, professional and community volunteer Emily Albert knows just how tricky it can be juggling priorities. The trick to creating good habits, she says, is to not worrying about being perfect.

“It doesn't matter what you begin with - bags, coffee cups, straws, packaging, all of them - challenge yourself to make small improvements each week 58 The Beast July 2019

and encourage others to join you,” she said.

Feeding kids on the run can be especially difficult.

“If I’m prepared, I take loads of chopped up veggies and fruit, fresh goods from the bakery bulk food stores are also a great source of non-packaged snacks like nuts, dried fruit and other nibbles.” @plasticfreebronte Sophia Skarparis (pictured) High School Student 16 year-old student and elite soccer player Sophie Skarparis was awarded Australian Geographic’s Young Conservationist of the Year 2018 for her brave and tireless work advocating to rid NSW of singleuse plastics, culminating in a petition to the state government with 10,000 signatures.

Seeing soccer fields littered with plastics lead to an ‘aha’ moment that motivated her to create change.

“No matter where I went, I seemed to find pieces of plastic.

This was a real tangible problem, so I wanted to be part of the solution,” she said.

Meeting like-minded people and grassroots organisations like Surfrider Foundation helps to keep her focused, despite the challenges and a busy schedule of sport, church, Year 11 and friends.

“I believe my generation can be the ‘game changers’. We want the change where we can reuse bags, coffee cups, not use plastic straws or balloons and reduce plastic packaging of food.” www.plasticfreesophia.com @plasticfreesophia Anita Horan Local writer and plastic-free produce campaigner Anita’s #PlasticFreeProduce social media campaign has taken Australia by storm and she is often asked to speak at public events about our collective addiction to excessive plastic food packaging.

“I saved my family's plastics for two weeks and have a photo of me sitting in it. I then did a tour of a recycling plant to find out what happens to it,” she explained.

“Once you see it [plastics], then you can start avoiding it.”

Her other tips including using BYO carry bags, food containers and re-usable drink bottles, and learning to say, “No Plastic Please,” at every opportunity. www.anitahoran.com #PlasticFreeProduce Plastic Free July Celebrate the good stuff happening locally with fun workshops, films, trivia, market and maker activities for everyone across the month. Bookings essential: goodinthehood2019.eventbrite.com.au.

Sydney's not so bad.

Don't Let Winter Get You Down Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, State Member for Coogee Photo Jeffrey Blum It feels like the longest summer ever ended overnight. May began with top temperatures in the very high 20s and we didn’t experience daytime highs below 20 degrees until the final days of the month. Indeed, temperatures throughout the month of May were alarmingly higher than historical monthly averages and will hopefully convince even the most ardent climate change deniers to reevaluate their position.

With the month of June came a sudden change in the weather with night-time temperatures dropping below 10 degrees.

I’m sure I wasn’t alone over the past weeks in searching through wardrobes and drawers for warmer clothes, a rug for the floor and an extra blanket at night. Like most locals, I tend to kid myself that we only have a short period of cold each year and that our weather is predominantly lovely. Our homes are just not built for the cold and our outdoor lifestyle is so much more suited to the warmer weather.

It is of course our sports that are the highlight of our winters.

Friends tell me that they feel a bit gloomy or sad sometimes when they’re cooped up at home and the weather feels too feral to venture out. Some people even experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression related to changes in seasons, and research shows that the symptoms are more common in the winter months, reducing energy levels and making you moody.

I was delighted to attend the launch by the Black Dog Institute recently of their clinical study into the relationship between sport and mental health. The Black Dog Institute does a marvellous job as a not-for-profit focusing on the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder. Clearly the relationship between mental health and sport is not as simple and straightforward as we might intuitively imagine. We know, for example, that going for a

run or playing some sport can raise our endorphins and improve our mood, yet depression is a well-documented problem experienced by a good number of elite athletes. I am impressed by the Black Dog Institute’s determination to explore for us all how sport relates to our mental wellbeing.

Please don’t assume that the preceding paragraph was an argument for remaining on the couch until the clinical trials are completed; there has already been plenty of research that demonstrates physical activity is an effective method of helping to prevent or alleviate the symptoms of mild depression. Unfortunately, watching sport probably does not count, although watching a good game of rugby certainly improves my mood.

I once read that eating fried fish is better for you than not eating fish at all. Applying that same logic, I’ve convinced myself that watching a good game of footy is better exercise than watching nothing at all!

July 2019 The Beast 59

Peppe's greatest gift to the vegan community.

Peppe's Bondi: The Transformation is Complete Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Joel Bennetts Insta @joelbennetts The recent opening of another instantly popular restaurant on Bondi Road means the area’s transformation into a bona fide hub of quality restaurants and bars is now complete.

Bondi Road’s newest addition, Peppe’s, comes from Grace Watson and Joe Pagliaro, the duo behind Paperbark in Waterloo.

While Paperbark is an upmarket establishment, Peppe’s is a far more casual pasta and gnocchi bar. Even though Peppe’s has moved into an area that is already home to some Italian neighbours in Elva and Totti’s, it still offers something a little different. This is because everything at Peppe’s is vegan.

Predictably, Peppe’s has been an instant hit with the locals of Bondi, a place teeming with open-minded foodies with progressive taste buds. While people of this ilk will no doubt continue to stream through Peppe’s doors, the menu’s absence of meat may be a source of apprehension for more conservative eaters.

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volition. But I’m glad I did.

And if I can convince just one red-blooded Aussie who usually prefers to order a good steak, red and bloody, to pay Peppe’s a visit, then this article will have been a success. I never would have guessed the best arancini balls of my life would be cheeseless either. But they were, and they came from Peppe’s.

In the kitchen is Joel Bennetts, a man who boasts an impressive resumé including Pier in Rose Bay and Three Blue Ducks in Bronte. Bennetts’ expertise is perhaps one of the main reasons Peppe’s never has to compromise the taste of their dishes in the name of veganism.

Their succinct, ever-changing, plant-based menu is displayed on a blackboard and usually consists of some sides and a few different gnocchi and pasta dishes. Recent sides include bruschetta made with Iggy’s bread, which was a refreshing and colourful protest to the impending winter, and the aforementioned best arancini balls of my life, made with green olives and oregano arancini dipped in a spicy tomato aioli. These

bad boys were crispy with a soft risotto filling and missed cheese about as much as I miss a cold Tasmanian winter. Recent gnocchi dishes include the gnocchi bianchi. The bianchi’s creamy sauce is made from pureed cauliflower and a rich porcini stock and is topped with breadcrumbs to add some crunch.

Peppe’s is doing its part to undo the less than flattering stigma surrounding veganism - there actually wasn’t a single dreadlock in site - and its greatest gift to the vegan community would have to be the tiramisu.

The sponge cake is made with soy milk and soaked in espresso syrup. The cream is made from cashews, coconut cream, maple syrup, espresso and vanilla. If it wasn’t for Watson, Pagliaro and Bennetts, vegans would not usually be able to enjoy this particular dessert, which was as rich, sweet and delicious as any I’ve sampled. On the blackboard behind the bar is a list of ten or so natural wines, as well as a few cocktails including some Italian classics.

Another reason for Peppe’s popularity would have to be the prices. The gnocchi and pasta dishes go for around $22 and cocktails are just $15. This, combined with the fact they don’t take bookings, makes for a chilled-out, friendly atmosphere.

I loved Peppe’s and, much like the stereotypical vegan, I feel a strong inclination to tell everyone about it.

Peppe’s peppelovesgnocchi.com.au Address 261 Bondi Rd, Bondi Instagram peppesbondi Phone No bookings Open Wed-Mon 5-9.30pm Prices $22 for gnocchi or pasta, $7 for sides, $15 for cocktails, $13 for dessert Cards Master, Visa, Amex Licensed Yes

1/260 COOGEE BAY ROAD • OPEN FROM 5.30AM

Subject Green-eyed monster Location Bronte Photographer Sebastian Elmaloglou @intepic

Subject Endless Sunday Location Bronte Photographer Bill Morris @billmorris

Subject Submerged selfies Location Coogee Photographer Ben Harg

Subject A man and his dog Location Tamarama Photographer Andrew Worssam

Subject Purple petals Location Coogee Photographer Sam Daniels

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Morning laps Location Bronte Photographer Melody Mahoney @melodyspics

Subject Fitting in Location Tamarama Photographer Keegan Lawler @keeg270

Subject Orange crush Location Bondi Photographer Ari Wilson

Subject Wading Location Centennial Park Photographer Claire Favre @miss_barra

Subject Shark bait Location Bondi Photographer Bill Morris @billmorris

Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au

THE NATIONAL I Am Easy to Find Label 4AD Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Some people find The National boring. I envy these people. They clearly don’t have much inner turmoil. I doubt they’ve ever spent a night in a poorly lit room hanging on the lyrics of depressed musicians, as they smash themselves into oblivion with their favourite liquor. Bastards. I Am Easy to Find picks up where The National left off.

For the first half, I even thought it might be their best yet, but it loses a bit of momentum toward the end. Fans of the band will love it, the rest of you can piss off back to your carefree lives.

AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS Amyl and The Sniffers

NEVER LOOK AWAY Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck Genre Drama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador If you like tragedy, art, politics, war, history, romance and more art, then you’re sure to enjoy Never Look Away. It’s an engrossingly stunning, multi-layered story by award winning writer director, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (The Lives Of Others) that was inspired by, and is loosely based on, the life of influential German artist Gerhard Richter and three lives that are unknowingly connected by a dark family secret.

Spanning thirty turbulent years of German history from 1937 to 1967, it follows Kurt Barnert (Tom Schilling), a young art student, who falls in love with fashion student Ellie Seeband (Paula Beer). They are both unaware that Ellie’s father, Professor Carl Seeband (Sebastian Koch), was a Nazi doctor who concealed his terrible past. That is until an innocent painting unravels his ugly secrets.

The 3-hour length may put some people off but it is definitely worth sitting through, if not for the intriguing story then for the superb cinematography by Caleb Deschanel (Being There) and the beautifully haunting musical score by Max Richter (Lore).

64 The Beast July 2019

Label Rough Trade Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  It is said Amyl relaxes your, ahem, anus. I can’t confirm this (ahem, yet), but I can confirm Amyl and The Sniffers relax the soul. Not in the traditional calming way, more a drowning in sweat and schooners sense. I recognise this isn’t for everyone, but if you have any sort of soft spot for pub rock or punk, dig out your Lowes’ flannel (I know you have one), stock up on some VB tallies and give this a spin. The lyrics don’t always make sense, but life doesn’t always make sense, so deal with it.

TYLER, THE CREATOR IGOR Label Columbia Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Remember when Tyler, the Creator was banned from Australia? 700 people signed a petition that his lyrics were homophobic and misogynistic and it was enough to get his tour cancelled. Never mind that they’ve let in murderers and domestic abusers (and he’s since vaguely come out as gay).

Anyway, Tyler has grown up, like most people, and his lyrics on IGOR are relatively normal. I never thought I’d say this, given I agree his old work was horrible, but he is now a breath of fresh air in what is becoming a pretty dour genre.

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ACROSS 1. Short version of a word (12) 7. Voice modulation (7) 9. Horror movie about a clown (2) 10. Main female character on Seinfeld (6) 11. Vertebral column (5) 13. Tie for toffs and Matt Preston (6) 14. Latin American music (5) 18. Internet slang to describe a novice (4) 20. Very short joke (3-5) 21. Typically average person, ‘Average ...’ (3) 22. Oceanic army (4) 23. Defunct European empire; type of furniture (7)

DOWN 2. French card game played in casinos (8) 3. Atoms with extra or missing electrons (4) 4. Theatre actor (8) 5. Giant hunter in Greek mythology (5) 6. Large brass musical instrument used in orchestras (6,4) 8. Refusal of a request or belief (6) 12. Give someone means to do something (6) 15. Stalemate (6) 16. Therefore; to such an extent (2) 17. Chemically inactive (5) 19. Murder or kill in a violent way (4)

Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Jonah Zeiderman Instagram @jz.photos_ 1. Which country’s flag was just green from 1977 to 2011?

2. In car racing, what does a yellow flag mean?

3. What is ‘vexillology’?

4. What type of vessel is typically two imperial pints in volume?

5. What does the red flag indicate in the Tour de France?

6. Which mountainous country has the only non-quadrilateral national flag?

7. What is a four-letter word meaning ‘to mark an item for special attention’?

8. What does the term ‘flagellate’ mean?

9. What is the only US state with a Union Jack in its flag?

10. Mozambique, Haiti and Guatemala are the only three UN countries to have what feature on their flags?

Mysterious Maroubra.

July 2019 The Beast 65

VIRGO AUG 23-SEP 23 You’ll start to see an old friend in a totally different light after hearing of (or experiencing) their twisted antics in the sack.

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 Even though your time is way more valuable than anyone else’s, you should still pretend theirs is worth something.

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 There’s something not quite right about your ears. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is but you need to sort it out.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 Don’t inspect your genitals with a torch; you’ll always find something weird and convince yourself that you’re riddled.

Visions Beardy from Hell

SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 Get off the treadmill and you’ll soon see how easy it is to walk past everyone else and onwards towards eternal happiness.

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 Owning lots of things creates stress, but spending money makes you happy so it’s not really a waste of money.

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 22 Even all the natural immunity you’ve built up from years of poor hygiene won’t save you from a debilitating cold this winter.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 If you don’t really need to say something, maybe just think it, or at least taste the words before spitting them out.

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 21 You’ve got a challenging month ahead, but you’ve got what it takes to get through it and everything is going to be fine.

LEO JUL 23-AUG 22 Everything you’ve achieved comes down to luck, so don’t downplay its role in the little bit of success you’ve had so far.

CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 20 Everyone has an annoying friend who brags about never getting sick; it is your duty to make them sick this winter.

GEMINI MAY 22-JUN 21 A trip to a Third World country to live like a king and feel superior for a while is the only way you’ll get your mojo back.

Star Signs

Trivial Trivia Solutions

1. Libya 2. Drivers must take caution due to a hazard ahead. 3. The study of flags 4. A flagon 5. Cyclists have 1km left to go 6. Nepal 7. Flag 8. To flog as a religious discipline or otherwise 9. Hawaii 10. Firearms 1

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Free entry

Big Winter Book Fair Saturday 29 and Sunday 30 June

10.00am–4.00pm Woollahra Library at Double Bay

451 New South Head Rd, Double Bay

For more information visit woollahra.nsw.gov.au/library 66 The Beast July 2019

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FREE EVENT

Beach Best Breaks Carnival Gift

Market Sunday 28 July 2019 Maroubra Beach 12pm-4.30pm

Sunday 25 November 9am-3pm Alison Park, 194 Alison Road Randwick

Calling local artisans and designers!

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1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

“Serving our local community since 1978�

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201 Clovelly Road, Clovelly Telephone 9315 8711 www.runnersshop.com.au