The Beast - December 2017

BEAST The

December 2017

KATE McCLYMONT Exposing the Truth

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WELCOME TO DECEMBER 2017... WHERE DID THE YEAR GO? Words Dan and James Hutton

W

elcome to the December 2017 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East.

This time of the year is always complete madness. We get to speak to so many local business owners every month and the lead-up to Christmas is always the busiest time of the year by far.

This is partly because the weather is starting to get awesome and everyone comes out of hibernation and starts spending money, but it's mainly because everyone is crazily cramming so they can take some time off over the Christmas and New Year period.

And it's no different here at The Beast. It's been a big year, and we're hoping to disappear down the coast for a few days too. If you're reading this, it means we somehow got the PDF files to the printers on time and a copy magically made

it into your mailbox - not dropped on the footpath or thrown in your garden for the snails to eat, like some other local publications.

Fairfax journalist and Bondi Junction resident Kate McClymont brightens up our cover this month. She's been described by David Marr as “the investigative journalist’s investigative journalist,” and she's broken some of the biggest news stories in Australia in recent years, exposing the truth and bringing down many grubs in the process. We certainly wouldn't want to get on her bad side if we were crims.

In local news, Angira Bharadwaj caught up with the new mayors of Waverley and Randwick to discuss their plans for the term ahead. Waverley Mayor John Wakefield is establishing a Bondi Pavilion stakeholder committee to ask the local community what

it actually wants with regards to the Pavilion's refurbishment - nice work - and Randwick City Mayor Lindsay Shurey, as part of her vision for a more artistic and cultured Randwick, is hoping to establish a cultural centre where people can celebrate the arts.

Isabella Trimboli has written a piece on two charitable Coogee lads, Mal Ward and Dave Martin, who are joining forces to bring smiles to the faces of sick kids this Christmas, and local psychotherapist Jeremy Ireland has come on-board as a regular columnist and filed his first piece on multitasking. Can humans multitask? You'll have to read it to find out, but not while you're doing something else, of course.

Thanks again to all of the legends who help us produce our little local publication each month, and thanks for reading The Beast.

Dan and James - Publishers

Bondi Junction|Randwick would like to wish you a

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Selling homes in the East since 1988 Contact me anytime for assistance in buying or selling

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Contents

December 2017 Issue 155 10 Welcome Note 13 Contents 14 Pearls of Wisdom 16 Monthly Mailbag 22 Local Bloke 24 Local Chick 26 Thumbs & Dogs

28 29 38 40 42 43 44

Local News Beastpops Satire Unreliable Guide Calendar Trade Directory Interview

Salty sea dogs, by Amaury Tréguer, Instagram @morningbondi.

50 52 54 56 58 60 62

Fish ‘n’ Tips Tide Chart Headnoise Sporting Life Enviro News Travel Bug Local Photos

64 66 68 72 80 82 82

Bandage Reviews Arts Bits Food & Wine Trivial Trivia Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions

Barnaby and Scott with their only Christmas present.

IT IS EASY BEING GREEN Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Nathan Tinkler

P

earl loves Christmas. Just like the wombat in Mem Fox’s story Wombat Divine, Pearl loves the cards, the candles, the presents, and the pudding. But, most of all, I love the Christmas lights - so pretty. But they use electricity, and electricity is an emotional issue for Australians.

My friend Derek’s biggest gripe in life is the price of electricity.

Fuelled by a morning of rightwing radio shock jocks, Derek will moan about the exorbitant cost of switching on a light, roasting a chook, and running his electric razor. And, when I can get a word in to quiz him on the actual cost of his electricity bill, I discover the daylight larceny he is bleating about is a shocking $3 per day the price of a lottery ticket.

Electricity prices have become an obsession, not only for Derek, but for the conservative media, politicians, and mining companies looking to exploit a scarce resource and the public’s FOMO for electoral and financial gain.

Six months ago, a bait-biting Malcolm Turnbull was spinning

14 The Beast | December 2017

the broken record that “electricity prices will be higher under the ALP,” while a manic Barnaby Joyce tossed around a large piece of coal in the front benches as if it was a gold nugget, and Craig Kelly claimed that people would die if renewables were favoured over coal. Apart from this circus being terribly unoriginal - like “jobs and growth” - and used to deflect the Centrelink data matching scandal, it’s also utter crap. Any scarcity that is driving up prices is due to our power resources (in the hands of private operators, of course) being sold very cheaply overseas.

I find it strange that I never hear anyone complaining about the cost of their iPhone plan, their Foxtel connection, the lease on their fancy 4WD, or the cost of their botox addiction. But I do hear a lot of bleating over electricity, which is an essential in life.

So, this Christmas, when you are stringing the festive lights up, turning on the air conditioner, and popping the clothes in the dryer, let’s face some home truths and stop being a wuss: electricity

is a scarce resource, so let’s treat it like one, use it sparingly, and make Earth Hour a daily practice by adopting a retro lifestyle that will be sure to impress the hipsters.

Use a clothesline, install an oldfashioned ceiling fan, or feel the sea breeze. And, in winter, don’t restrict those ridiculous puffer jackets to the outdoors. Businesses can also do their part by discarding the stuffy suit and tie for men in summer, turning down the air conditioning, and switching off the lights at night.

And, to our piss-weak State Governments: have some balls and stand up to property developers; make clotheslines mandatory in all apartment complexes, ban the ugly housing developments where every tree is erased for maximum profits, and enforce a sustainable building code.

It should be pretty straightforward and easy to implement, but are we prepared to make simple sacrifices? Or would we prefer to allow fracking to destroy our food bowl and water supply for the sake of “life’s good at 21 degrees”?

THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs BONDI PAVILION: PRAGMATISM AND COMMUNITY A great opportunity now exists for a practical physical upgrade of Bondi Pavilion, incorporating topshelf digital technology. It is with a great sense of relief that the totally impractical vision of the $42million+ upgrade, which ignored its beach location and weather dependency - not to mention its potential unavailability to the ‘salty’ people - is dead and buried. It is also with a great sense of relief that the Bondi community prevailed.

Real estate agents can ‘talk up’ our beach and be instrumental in racking up house prices, they can bring in ‘non-salties’ (who ultimately either join us or leave in a huff ), but they can't kill ​our deep and abiding commitment ​to our community.

We look forward with great anticipation to the results from Mayor John Wakefield's hierarchy of needs assessment.

Lenore Kulakauskas Convenor, Bondi Beach Precinct HERE'S TO 'THE HEAD' The article by John Hamilton in the November 2017 edition of The Beast is very fortunate for both the writer and The Beast. Simply put, you cannot defame the dead. Yes, parts of it were true and Kevin was a great surfer in smaller waves and also a thief. Yes, he came from a broken family and grew up on the streets of Bondi with a limited education, and he was in many respects naïve.

Surfing gave him hope and, via the hangers on and ‘wannabes’, also led 16 The Beast | December 2017

to his early demise. He was not very bright and fell into a hedonistic pit, from which he could not escape.

It is also clear that the writer, together with that bloke from Celibate Rifles and many more, never knew ‘The Head’, so what do they base their lies and innuendo on? Your scribe, John Hamilton, quotes some unreferenced “hazy surf forum sources,” saying, “Legend has it Kevin could pick your pocket... and betray you within one hour.” What a load of crap!

Kevin did not have the subtlety to pick pockets. Some also confused him with his brother Phillip, also known as Phyllis, and he never gave anyone up - we never did that at Bondi. There may not be many of us left at Bondi who actually knew Kevin - who grew up and surfed with him. We tried unsuccessfully to pull him from that pit yet failed, but at least we know the word ‘respect’. You should show some and check your facts before you print lies and innuendo. RIP Kevin.

John ‘Red Ted’ Sullivan Bondi KEVIN 'THE HEAD' BRENNAN BONDI SURFING LEGEND Dear Editor - It is sad that the article by John Hamilton regarding the late Kevin Brennan had to resort to innuendo and hearsay rather than stick to facts (The Tragic Tale of Kevin ‘The Head’ Brennan, The Beast, November 2017).

Those who knew Kevin will all agree that Kevin was the product of an abusive and traumatic home life. Kevin was often in trouble

for antisocial behaviour and, sadly, experimentation into substances that led to his early demise. However, the article didn’t really capture the fact that Kevin sought and found solace and comfort in his beach, his friends, and often their families. Good Bondi people, such as the Brock family, set aside a bed in their home for Kevin so that he would have somewhere to go when he was violently forced out of his own home and left to roam the streets. The Elders at South Bondi, led by respected legends such as Barry ‘Magoo’ McGuigan, attempted to assist Kevin in facing his demons and at the same time marvelled at his skill as a surfer when he had only just become a teenager. These are the true facts and they can be substantiated, as many of those involved are still alive today.

To belittle a champion who can’t fight back, and use hearsay to do so, is not what I would call good journalism.

Nearly half a century on from Kevin’s passing and Mr Hamilton is making unsubstantiated, disgusting and defamatory statements about a Bondi legend based on “some other hazy surf forum sources”. I would suggest Kevin deserves better than such a cheap shot, and he should be allowed to rest in peace. He was a Bondi kid who did it tough and, sadly, got involved in a scene that he could not handle.

He wasn’t the first and won’t be the last person to die in such a tragic way. That doesn’t mean they can be belittled by innuendo and fantasy statements from people who didn’t even know them.

Kevin’s lifetime mate, Ronny Silcock (now an artist), captured Kevin on canvas with his trophies (and grin) after Kevin had conquered the best surfers in Australia - including a world champion and later to be world champion - at Bondi in 1965 when he was only 15. He had already won the junior title, before stepping up to win the senior title. This has never been done again and was the happiest day of Kevin’s sad life.

I know Ronny’s painting of ‘The Head’ will one day take prime position in a surfing museum in the

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Bondi Pavilion. Kevin’s success on this particular day is factual Bondi history, witnessed by thousands, and that is how Kevin should and will be remembered.

Tony Rule, a South Bondi pioneer and surfing elder, said to a group of us at Bondi recently (all of us knew Kevin), “I always wondered whether ‘Head’ could swim, as I never saw him fall off his board.” That comment caused much laughter as we remembered the surfing prowess of a true Bondi surfing champion. I’m sure Kevin would have enjoyed hearing Tony’s recollection and the laughter that followed.

Terry Jenkings Bondi LAZY POLITICS Nationals MP John Williams’ sudden passion for regulating mobility scooters because of a private encounter with an errant gopher is symptomatic of a wider problem (Don't mess with Pearl's Grey Army, The Beast, November 2017).

Instead of employing a rational, needs-based, comprehensive methodology, it seems politicians of all persuasions are prone nowadays to hyperbole, conjecture, rumour, and dare I say it, vested interests (including their own) to inform policy.

Consider Pauline Hanson's glib statements about the health of the Barrier Reef based on observations at one site which happened to be unaffected by bleaching, Tony Abbott's callous assertion about people dying in cold snaps versus heat waves to validate his known bias against climate science, Annastacia Palaszczuk's over-reliance on dubious assurances from the Adani Group, despite its troubled corporate history, and the list goes on. This is lazy, knee-jerk politics, which we tolerate at our peril.

Australians deserve more from our elected representatives. Good, fit-for-purpose lawmaking requires diligent enquiry, attention to detail, consultation with all stakeholders, and wise decision-making.

Anything less is to our collective detriment and, frankly, just not good enough.

David Beins Randwick 18 The Beast | December 2017

VALE NESTING SWALLOWS IN BRONTE BEACH CHANGE ROOMS Dear Editors - Imagine if you will the joy and smiles in the ladies' changing rooms at Bronte Beach after a pair of nesting swallows built a nest on a ledge high up above the showers.

The devoted parents came and went with food for their hungry chicks and occasionally swooped on people who came too close.

The littlies too were absolutely fascinated by the whole thing.

Imagine, then, a couple of days ago when a group of us realised the nest, birds, and chicks were no more.

How could this be? Well, it seems that someone had complained about the ‘dirty conditions’ in the changing room, so the council, in its wisdom, called in the contractors, and they, in their (very limited) wisdom, took the high pressure hose to the room and hosed the bejesus out of it, totally destroying the nest.

What were they thinking? For goodness' sake, these birds were doing their best to raise chicks in an environment that is already under pressure from habitat destruction, people cutting down trees to get a better view, and cats and other introduced ferals.

I am truly disgusted, and I hope that Waverley Council gives the contractors, whoever they were, a dressing down, and gets better information than it clearly has on how to deal with birds like swallows (not exactly a common sight) that happen to nest in ‘inconvenient’ places.

Kate Bronte MORE IDIOTS ON BIKES As if there aren't enough idiots on bikes already. At least the lycra set wear appropriate (sort of ) gear and adhere (sort of ) to the rules of cycling. These ‘casual jump on a bike with no helmet, thongs, or shoes’ warriors are a nuisance and even more of a hazard than the bikes they ride and leave lying around everywhere. If they Google a bike with no helmet so be it.

I am dreading the day that children's deathtrap bikes are available. I have been advocating the ban of kids on bikes forever

and, living near Arden Street, I watch kamikaze bike riders every day. It's like the big dipper - weeee!

God, parents, do you know how your kids are cheating death every day by allowing them to ride bikes home in the name of clean transport? Had my rant...

D Richards Clovelly FISHERIES MANAGEMENT NOT AT WORK I enjoy your magazine immensely, but this particular article made my hackles rise. In Fisheries Management at Work (The Beast, October 2017), Dan Trotter purports to care for the sustainability of our fish stocks, while the accompanying image shows someone standing next to a huge bluefin tuna - one of the last denizens of our oceans.

Is the child in the photo, totally oblivious to this lack of respect for the planet, supposed to add credence to this deplorable picture?

Perhaps The Beast may be more discerning with their choice of magazine contributors.

Donald Ockham Sydney FOX ON COOGEE BEACH I am the principal of my financial planning practice on Maroubra Road, Maroubra. To keep fit and alert, I have been regularly running laps of Coogee Beach with a few mates. This includes the southern steps near the surf club. In the early hours of this morning, as we were running down the steps to the lower promenade, my mate Richard pointed to the sand before the toilet block and said, “There's a fox running along the beach.”

I thought he was joking, but then I saw the fox running up the beach towards us and onto the promenade. It seemed like no one else had noticed it on the beach.

It then leapt up the wall into the bushes near the outdoor shower, and I lost site of it for a short time.

Then it walked along the grassy edge in front of the stone wall and stopped to look at us before taking off into the bushes. You don't see something like that every day.

Paul Kavich Maroubra

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BEARDY IS SPOT ON Dear James and Dan - I just wanted to comment on Beardy from Hell's priceless advice in the star signs each month. He's always spot on, and I usually find at least two or three that I can incorporate into my life immediately. He has a real gift - insightfulness on this level is extremely rare.

I used to see the heading ‘Star Signs’ and ignore the contents, but then one month I read one and realised what a treasure trove of valuable advice I had been missing out on. Is there any way we can access previous issues? Love the rest of the mag as well!

Aaron Bondi RIDICULOUS INSECURITY As a resident of Bon Accord Avenue, Bondi Junction, for many years, each year I am still baffled by the closing off of the street during Central Synagogue celebrations for four days each year surrounding Jewish New Year.

Residents are advised in advance by mail from Waverley Council, and are told that, if driving into the street, they must show their drivers' licence with a Bon Accord Avenue address to be allowed to enter during the hours that street is closed.

The street is barricaded at either end with large water-filled red plastic construction-style barricades, and also concrete barricades out onto and along Old South Head Road, and a car is often parked across the road too, which is typically moved to allow vehicles to enter and exit.

The barricades are typically manned with local police officers, Waverley Council staff, and amateur security volunteer staff from the synagogue. The synagogue also has paid professional security guards at the front door, who I have always found to be exactly that - professional.

Although it appears that the whole ‘blocking off the street’ thing is really quite a strange and bizarre misuse of public resources and total overreach of common sense security protocol, I consciously choose a ‘live and let live’ approach 20 The Beast | December 2017

to this show of force each year.

It is with specific reference to the volunteer amateur security staff that I seek to voice objection, dismay, and disdain, for their recent actions as I entered the street to return to my flat after visiting the supermarket in Bondi Junction.

On foot and carrying a small backpack with groceries on the Bon Accord Avenue footpath at around 1pm, past the barricades, I was confronted quite intensely by a voluntreer amateur security staff member (not one of the paid professional security guards), asking if I was a resident of the street. I replied politely but directly: “Who’s asking?” to which he replied, “I am.” I heard him immediately radio other volunteeer amateur security staff, saying, “Front door, front door,” as I walked towards my flat past the synagogue on the opposite side of street.

Upon arriving at the front gate of my property, which is well past the synagogue, almost at the other end of the street, three volunteer security staff were following me at a distance of 5-10 metres behind, clearing bystanders away on the footpath as if I was carrying weapons or a bomb, which I obviously wasn’t - just produce from the Woolworths fruit and vegetable section.

I went to enter the door to the apartment block and noticed three amateur security staff near my front gate looking in, to whom I said, “You need to go away!”

Anyway, I went inside. When I went back outside to see if they were still there 15 minutes later, they were still hanging around, so I called the local police for advice.

Speaking to another resident in the apartment block at that time, she recounted how her flatmate had previously been refused entry to the street by the volunteer security staff because she was not carrying ID with her residential address on it at the time. She was also carrying shopping bags full of groceries.

This type of behaviour shown by the amateur security staff is a ridiculous display of insecurity and overreach that has no place here. Acting out of paranoia and

antiquated programming must be replaced by a coherent professionalism, especially in a role like this where voulunteer security staff are supposedly representing what is perhaps the largest synagogue in Australia, and acting as one interface with the local community.

I would encourage the individuals concerned, if they are to remain in a role as volunteer security staff, to consider some professional security training and raise their standards to be on par with the professionals who are employed by the synagogue on a regular basis. I have only ever had positive interactions with these professional security guards in over ten years living in the street. Amateurs playing toy soldiers just creates unnecessary friction with residents who may already be stretching to accommodate the blocking off of the street, which is obviously owned by all of the community, not just one group.

Peace be with you all.

Greg Bondi Junction

THE BEAST Publisher The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies of The Beast are distributed every month.

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“If you haven’t watched the New Year sunrise at Coogee Beach, you haven’t lived.”

LOCAL BLOKE... KURT DEAN FROM MAROUBRA Interview and Picture James Hutton

M

aroubra's Kurt Dean is the Principal Dentist at Dental Serenity. He shares his local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here?

I've been hanging around Bondi Junction and Maroubra Junction since 2000, after moving here from Queensland to chase my then girlfriend and now wife of 16 years.

What's your favourite beach? It's a toss up between Coogee and Maroubra. Coogee has the Pavilion, but you can get a parking spot at Maroubra. If you haven’t watched the New Year sunrise at Coogee Beach, you haven’t lived, which I think gives Coogee the edge.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? It has the best parts of Sydney packed into one area - good dining, good shopping, good bars, beaches, and close to everything.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Parking can be rough on the weekends when you want to go to the beach.

Do you have a favourite sporting team? Something a little more local and obscure, the Maroubra Kyokushin Karate Club. The fitness and techniques these guys and girls have learned are inspiring.

What's your favourite eatery? Our family are suckers for Japanese food. Kokoroya on Anzac Parade is our go-to.

What music are you into at the moment? I'm going through a really retro rock phase. I've been hitting the Black Sabbath, Credence Clearwater, Rolling Stones, AC/ DC - all the stuff that I can’t play loudly while I'm treating patients.

Where do you like to have a drink?

I'll tend to go to the Pavilion at Coogee. It's a nice place for a schooner or two in spring and summer.

Who is your favourite person?

Harrison Ford. He was so influential on my childhood - Han Solo, Indiana Jones, Deckard... the man is a legend!

22 The Beast | December 2017

What do you get up to on the weekends? I do karate most Saturday mornings and spend time with my wife and son, and exciting activities like shopping and cleaning the house - it's a rock and roll lifestyle.

What do you do for work? I'm the Principal Dentist at Dental Serenity on Anzac Parade, Maroubra Junction (www. dentalserenity.com.au).

What's your favourite thing about work? It's fun to show people the technology we have and give them positive experiences. When you get to help people feel and look better, it's a buzz. I also get to play with lasers and digital scanning with computers. When you're a bit of a nerd, it's fun to be in this job!

Do you have a favourite quote?

“Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's going to die. Come watch TV.” - Rick and Morty.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Do or do not, there is no try.

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Do you have a favourite sporting team? I don’t support a team but I love running, swimming, and yoga.

What music are you into at the moment? I’m loving my latest running playlist, which is a mix of upbeat tunes, including Whitney and Rocky, and some really random ones, such as Ace of Base and The Beach Boys.

Who is your favourite person? My hubby, Will, and my son, Finley.

They are literally the best people to hang out with.

What do you get up to on the weekends? Will, Fin, and I usually hit the beach, dip in the salty pool, have a coffee, kick a rugby ball around the park, and walk in the sunshine. Plus, I do lots of ball rolling for my business.

“I love the thought of everyone enjoying a healthy daily treat...”

LOCAL CHICK...

EMILY REYNOLDS FROM BRONTE Interview and Picture James Hutton

B

ronte's Emily Reynolds is the brains behind healthy tasty treats business RawEm Treats. She shares her local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here? Five years, and I haven’t left Bronte Beach - I don’t think I ever could.

What's your favourite beach? 100 per cent Bronte. I can’t get over how incredibly amazing the beach is. It's ‘out-of-control dreamy’.

What's your favourite eatery? Wet Paint is a firm favourite - amazingly tasty and huge portions, with the friendliest service. And China Doll at Woolloomooloo too.

24 The Beast | December 2017

Where do you like to have a drink?

Waverley Bowlo, for a sunny afternoon beer on the weekend with my sister, her family, and our friends. The Charing Cross Hotel is perfect for a pre-dinner drink.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The beaches, the sea, the coffee, the people, the heat, and the light. I’m blown away by how beautiful everywhere is and how friendly everyone is.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? It gets a little crowded in the summer and the traffic gives my hubby rage. The clothes shopping isn’t the best either, but that’s probably a good thing.

What do you do for work? I own a healthy tasty treats business called RawEm Treats, selling refined sugar-free, gluten-free, vegan energy balls in yummy coconut, choc orange, and peanut butter flavours. They’re such a nutritiously delicious snack. Look out for them in Huxton’s, Salinas, Gordons, Clovelly Social House, and Seasalt, or treat your healthy self at www.rawemtreats.com.au.

What's your favourite thing about work? The fact that I’m providing people with something that tastes good and is made from natural, nourishing, and energising ingredients. I love the thought of everyone enjoying a healthy daily treat without the guilt that comes with eating sugar-laden, processed food.

Do you have a favourite quote?

“Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I often have to remind myself, “If it doesn’t matter, let it go.”

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? The minute you wake up, stand on your head (or just hang upside down), eat a kiwifruit, pop a RawEm ball, and drink green juice - you’ll feel on top of the world!

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December 2017 | The Beast 25

SAMSON Age 2-3 years Sex Male Breed Bull Arab x Weight 35kg

The best thing for kids since red cordial.

THUMBS UP CENTENNIAL PARK WILD PLAY GARDEN Giving your precious darling Eastern Suburbs children a much-needed taste of the great outdoors.

JACARANDA TREES Is it just us or are the jacarandas on steroids this year? Sydney's purple sea of flowering trees never looked so good.

SUSHI KUN Arguably the freshest and most delicious sushi in Australia. Nick and his crew deserve a chef 's hat, or a Michelin star at least.

REMISSION There is no better word when you've spent two months nervously waiting and watching on as your brother gets taken to the brink.

FALLING HOUSE PRICES Yep, they’re coming down. “But house prices never go down.” Well, they are, and your interest rates are about to go up.

CHRISTMAS Regardless of your religious beliefs, today is all about spending time with family and friends and helping out those who may need a hand.

THUMBS DOWN FORGETFULNESS Walking away from the ATM while your hard-earned $500 sits there waiting for some lucky prick to claim it.

ALCOHOL BANS You literally can’t have a beer anywhere outdoors in the Eastern Suburbs these days, except maybe in Centennial Park.

CIGGIE BUTT TOSSERS I actually witnessed a neuroscientist with a PhD tossing her cigarette butt on the ground the other day. God help us.

SHARTING That soul-destroying moment when an innocent fart becomes a smelly brown mess in your pants.

26 The Beast | December 2017

Samson is a big, beautiful, goofy lapdog with an affectionate and sweet nature. He loves to try and curl up in your lap in front of the television, but sometimes he forgets just how enormous he is. Samson is a gentle giant and loves being around kids. He walks well on lead and is social with other dogs. He came from the pound unloved and underweight at 35kg, but he is already progressing very well. Samson comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped.

For further details, call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.

ROMEO Age 12 months Sex Male Breed Kelpie x Staffy Weight 18kg Romeo is a friendly boy, despite being slightly timid at times. He walks well on lead with a bit of encouragement, ignoring passing vehicles and other dogs, and cruising along at a fairly steady pace. He likes to jog and really enjoys a cuddle. Romeo is social with other dogs and has plenty of energy to burn, typical of kelpie crosses. He has a short, easy to care for coat, and weighs a healthy 18kg. Romeo comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped. For further details, call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133 or email monika@doggierescue.com.

BELLE Age 18 months Sex Female Breed Sharpei x Weight 23kg Belle is a very sweet girl. She is timid but still likes to wag her tail. She could definitely do with some help when it comes to self-confidence around people and other dogs. She has the most beautiful amber eyes and is very food motivated, which can be utilised to bribe her into doing just about anything. She is more the size of a sharpei with a smooth, low maintenance coat.

She weighs in at around 23kg. Belle comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped.

For further details, call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133 or email monika@doggierescue.com.

Wednesday 13 December 2017 • 5.30pm • Bondi Park

Have fun making recycled Christma s cards wit h Waverl ey Council’s ‘Second Nature’ Te am!

Join us from 5.30pm for face painting, craft and sausage sizzle with proceeds to charity.

Enjoythe School ofArts Academy of Dance and Bondi Dance Company, and sing along to Carols with the Bondi Beach Public School Choir, Cassy Darvall, CoolYule, our own Sunshine Singers, Bondi Wave artistAngel Mitrani and our very special guest artist Emma Pask.

WAVERLEY COUNCIL

SUMM E R

JANUARY 2018 s king Boop o en

c 4 De

For more information visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au

Mayor Wakefield has hit the ground running.

PAVILION STAKEHOLDER COMMITTEE TO HAND POWER BACK TO THE PEOPLE Words Angira Bharadwaj Picture James Hutton

I

t’s back to square one for Waverley Council’s controversial Bondi Pavilion refurbishment, with Mayor John Wakefield establishing a stakeholder committee to ask the local community what it actually wants. Council voted in support of this decision at its first meeting.

The committee will meet several times in the lead-up to Christmas to debate the required uses and functions of the Pavilion, which will form the basis of a report to be given to the architect.

“We have expressions of interest open for community members to apply to sit on the stakeholder committee,” Mayor Wakefield told The Beast.

28 The Beast | December 2017

The makeover plans have certainly ruffled a few feathers in the past, and the new mayor is determined to give a voice to the people who care the most about the future of the iconic structure.

Representatives from the Bondi Beach Precinct Group and Friends of Bondi Pavilion will be joined by community members with experience in the Pavilion’s areas of use, such as music and theatre.

The committee is designed to receive input from key stakeholders to ensure a balance between commercial interests and community use, something that the mayor said was missing in previous proposals.

“Our intention is to ensure that there is a level of viable commer-

cial operation in that building,” Mayor Wakefield explained.

“Our opposition to the previous proposals was based on our belief that there always should have been a guarantee that commercial operations wouldn’t take over the building,” he said.

The taskforce, however, will not include commercial operators they will be dealt with separately.

“The level of commercial activity in that building currently is pretty good; it’s roughly right.

“Its location on the ground floor, I believe, is the most desirable and viable for commercial activity,” he said.

The controversial project was a major point of contention in the community in the lead-up to the local council elections.

The Pavilion’s makeover is the first major project to be undertaken since the mayor took control of council from the Liberal’s Sally Betts in September.

With the council hoping to receive the stakeholder report by the end of the year, Mayor Wakefield is hoping to commence the refurbishment between July and September 2018.

“If it pushes into summer, we will have to consider what we do then. We don’t want to undertake a major refurbishment during summer,” he said.

The mayor has also set his sights on fixing Waverley’s parking woes and filling vacancies within the council.

“There are currently a large number of acting positions in Waverley Council due to the long merger process and the uncertainty surrounding it all.

“This is something that must be rectified. It is one of the most significant things that I’m doing. It doesn’t have an immediate impact, but it will have a longer-term impact on stability,” he said.

Anyone wishing to be considered for participation in the committee can submit their expression of interest through haveyoursaywaverley.com.au/bondipavilion.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN TO THE BONDI PAVILION? Words and Pictures Stiffy McPherson

Val COOGEE

Ben BRONTE

Well I haven’t been there for thirty years so I wouldn’t know. It’s falling down isn’t it?

I want it to be a community centre - more accessible to the public - with music events and workshops. They need to open it up for people to hire for public events and get it pumping again.

Don’t privatise it; it’s for the people.

Daniel NORTH BONDI

Lenore BONDI

Keep the history, but move it into the 21st century.

I’d like it to become more of a focal point, not just for tourists but for locals as well. It’s way underutilised at the moment.

It needs a quality upgrade, with the theatre retained on the first floor and upgraded to current media requirements.

Do I even need to mention the toilets?! We’ve been asking for something to happen since back in 2012.

Melissa CLOVELLY

Liam SANDON POINT

The facade should stay the same but be repaired, and the area out the back should be a place for locals and visitors to enjoy fun things, like live music and bars - bring back the grassroots culture of Bondi!

Yes, that's good.

As a nation so deeply rooted in surf culture, I'd love to see part of the Pavilion turned into a museum showcasing the history of boardriding and lifesaving in the local area, including Bronte, the birthplace of surf lifesaving.

December 2017 | The Beast 29

BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Sebastian Elmaloglou Instagram @intepic LEUKAEMIA LEGENDS Two local guys, Andrew and Will, were both diagnosed with different blood cancers and recently cycled to Canberra to prove that leukaemia isn’t going to stop them.

They are also raising money for the Leukaemia Foundation, who provided support when they were ill. The Leukaemia Foundation is the only national charity dedicated to helping those with leukaemia, lymphoma, myeloma, and related blood disorders survive and live a better quality of life. To donate, visit www.everydayhero.com/au and search ‘Will & Andrew’.

BONDI TO BRONTE SWIM The Bondi to Bronte, which starts at Bondi Beach and finishes at Bronte Surf Life Saving Club, is one of Sydney's most iconic ocean swims. Over the past six years, Bondi to Bronte swimmers have raised over $200,000 for The Kids' Cancer Project, funding trials at the Children’s Hospital Westmead to find cures for childhood cancers.

To enter the swim, please visit www.bonditobronte.com.au. To see the great work that the The Kids’ Cancer Project does, visit www.thekidscancerproject.org.au.

Air reverse.

COOGEE SPARKLES Every year, Randwick City Council presents the Coogee Sparkles New Year's Eve fireworks display at Coogee Beach, at the familyfriendly time of 9pm. The fireworks are set off from Dunningham Reserve, which is located to the north of Coogee Beach. Other vantage points include Burrows Park headland, Clovelly Beach car park, Grant Reserve, and Trenerry Reserve. For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

FUNDING INCREASE FOR EASTERN SUBURBS SCHOOLS Government schools in the Eastern Suburbs will be able to improve their education resources and support for our local students with over $3million in needsbased funding for 2018. The funding will address the specific needs of each school, including literacy and numeracy support, teacher training, and speech pathologists.

Schools across NSW will receive a record $1.09 billion in needs-based funding in 2018. This includes $80 million in additional funding, which is an eight per cent increase from 2017. For more information, visit www.gabrielleupton.com.au.

DISCOVER YOUR COAST Randwick Council's coastal activities programs include a range of free and affordable activities aimed at helping families and children of all ages discover for themselves our unique marine and coastal environment. Commencing in 2006 as Council’s Summer Activities program, the marine and coastal education is now offered three times a year during summer, autumn, and spring school holidays.

For more information, please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

DOGGIE RESCUE CALENDARS The 2018 Doggie Rescue calendar cover boy is Ed. He has had such an amazing turnaround in his life, from being a neglected and abused dog who was left at a rural pound facing imminent death, to achieving the ultimate honour of the dog world: calendar cover boy. Doggie Rescue is all about saving lives like Ed’s and, to keep their doors open, they need your help. By purchasing a 2018 calendar, full of pics of Doggie Rescue dogs who have found their forever homes, you will be making a handy contribution.

For more information, please visit www.doggierescue.com.

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December 2017 | The Beast 31

Two of the best.

WARDY AND DAVE JOIN FORCES FOR SICK KIDS Words Isabella Trimboli Picture James Hutton

N

o one should have to spend Christmas Day in hospital, but for many sick children and their families this is an unavoidable reality. Thankfully, local legend and barbecue entrepreneur Mal Ward is here to put a smile on these brave children’s faces through his annual Forever Johnno Christmas present drive.

Every December, Mr Ward asks the local community to dig deep and donate gifts for sick children (and their families) who are being cared for in The Children’s Hospital at Westmead and Sydney Children’s Hospital, Randwick.

Mr Ward started the drive back in 2008, the Christmas after his son Johnno had passed away from childhood liver disease. In the first year he received 161 presents to give to the hospital and that number has grown every year since, with the latest drive receiving over a thousand presents.

“The response from the community has been fantastic,” Mr Ward told The Beast.

32 The Beast | December 2017

This year, the drive will be held at the Coogee Bay Hotel on Sunday, December 17, from 1.30pm. Locals are encouraged to bring as many gifts as they can. Presents can also be dropped off at Clovelly Taxation and Business Services, 17A Doncaster Avenue, Kensington.

If the presents are already wrapped, Mr Ward kindly asks that people mark the gifts with the appropriate age group and gender on a small sticker. Locals are also invited to hang around, help wrap some presents, and enjoy a complimentary barbecue and face-painting for the kids. The presents will be dropped off at both children’s hospitals the following day.

“The amount of gifts we now collect enables the nurses to give presents to the sick child’s siblings as well, which takes the burden off the parents who already have enough on their plates,” Mr Ward explained.

This year, Mr Ward will be joining forces with another local legend, Dave Martin, who runs his own Christmas present drive at

his popular Coogee establishment, Courtyard Café.

People are invited to place gifts for children and adults under Courtyard’s Christmas tree, which will then be delivered to shelters for homeless men and abused women and children.

A portion of these presents will now go towards Mr Ward’s drive and provide gifts to children spending Christmas in hospital.

“I have nothing but admiration for how Mal has dealt with extreme heartache and turned it into an unwavering passion and drive to help other families and kids,” Mr Martin told The Beast.

“It breaks my heart knowing there are kids and grown-ups who aren’t lucky enough to have a happy Christmas.”

“Giving and making others feel loved is what Christmas is all about. A simple gift, no matter how big or small, goes a long way.”

For more information, or to donate, please drop in to Courtyard or call Mal on 0414 293 396.

COOGEE CAROLS

Sunday 17 December 6.30pm-8.30pm

Coogee Beach www.coogeecarols.com.au

MATRAVILLE CAROLS

BY CANDLELIGHT

CAROLS BY THE SEA

CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT

SOUTH MAROUBRA CHRISTMAS PARTY

Saturday 9 December 5pm-9pm

Saturday 9 December 6pm-10pm

Sunday 10 December 4:30pm-8pm

Saturday 16 December 2pm-5pm

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Grant Reserve, Coogee Organised by the local churches.

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St Lukes Anglican Church, corner Varna Street and Arden Street, Clovelly.

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South Maroubra Village Green, corner Malabar Road and Meagher Avenue, Maroubra.

9311 0088

1300 722 542 www.randwick.nsw.gov.au

Clarity.

MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Jamie Street Instagram @bondiwakeup LET'S (POLITICAL) PARTY! Pro-nightlife group ‘Keep Sydney Open’ have announced their intention to register as a political party, and they want lockouts on the ballot paper at the next state election in March 2019. They need 750 members by November 30 and are calling on Sydneysiders who are passionate about a vibrant Sydney nightlife to join up so they can continue their fight. The group's goal is to re-establish Sydney as a safe and welcoming 24-hour international city, with a bustling night time economy and culture. Visit www.keepsydneyopen.com/party.

NEW YEAR'S EVE AT DUDLEY PAGE Waverley Council invites you to celebrate New Year's Eve at Dudley Page Reserve, Dover Heights.

This event is perfect for families, with entertainment and amazing views of the harbour fireworks.

Bring a picnic rug and enjoy this family event with a free jumping castle, face painting, playground, DJ, music and dancing, licensed bar, and food stalls. For ticketing, please visit www.moshtix.com.au.

BELLAGIO SUMMER HARVEST BBQ Kicking through the summer season, Bellagio café on Bronte Road, Charing Cross, will be hosting some epic boozy barbecue shenanigans on the second Saturday of every month - December 9, February 10, and March 10 - focusing on sensational seasonal summer produce with booze, smoke, and pickles. Reservations are a must, and can be made by emailing bbq@bellagiohospitality.com.au.

GRANTING CHRISTMAS WISHES The number of parents who may be facing the onset of Christmas with trepidation is of concern to the St Vincent de Paul Society NSW, as households battle to pay off mounting energy bills and face increasing housing stress. In 2011, over 100,000 people experienced homelessness, and of these, 17,000 were children younger than 12 years old. Vinnies anticipates the figures will have increased at last year’s census. To show your support and make a donation to the Vinnie’s Christmas Appeal, please visit www.vinnies.org.au.

STOP ADANI BONDI What does the Adani Carmichael coal mine mean for Australia? It will be the biggest coal mine in the country, with unlimited access to water from the Great Artesian Basin, hundreds more ships will travel through the Great Barrier Reef each year, it will allow other new coal mines to piggyback off the infrastructure, and it may seal our reliance on coal. To join your local group and get involved, email stopadanibondi@gmail.com or go to facebook/stopadanibondi.

NEW LIFT AT RANDWICK TOWN HALL An upgrade of Randwick Town Hall is now complete, with a new accessible lift improving access to the community building. Events at the Town Hall, including citizenship ceremonies, twilight concerts, and council meetings, will now allow people of all abilities to access the Town Hall easily. The late 19th century building also required re-roofing in the main hall and Frances Street wing. For more information, please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

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December 2017 | The Beast 35

AFFORDABLE ACUPUNCTURE NOW IN SIGHT Words Angira Bharadwaj

A

Mayor Shurey at Clovelly on a windy, glary afternoon.

CULTURAL CENTRE ON THE CARDS FOR RANDWICK CITY Words Angira Bharadwaj Picture James Hutton

A

rt-lovers in Randwick can rejoice at the prospect of a potential cultural centre under the leadership of newly-elected Mayor Lindsay Shurey.

Among her agenda of empowering cyclists and pedestrians is also a focus on creating a regional gallery in the city.

“My vision is that I want [Randwick] to be an artistic city and I really want to value our culture.

“I would really like to see a cultural centre of some sort where we can celebrate the arts so I would like to work towards that,” she said.

In October, Mayor Shurey also announced the development of a digital strategy to improve the city’s service delivery and to make it more customer-centric.

“Digital technology is changing the way we work, live and learn.

“We are seeing an increasing trend towards innovative and creative solutions to make council services more efficient and to help us better serve the community,” she said.

Despite it being early days, Mayor Shurey is confident in her all-female leadership team and

36 The Beast | December 2017

said the elected council is working collaboratively.

“I don’t see any challenges as we are already working together in a collegiate manner.

“We come from all different political parties as well, but I definitely feel the will to work together with the women, and I think we’re more representative of the community at large,” she said.

While on a federal level, the 2016 election saw only 31 per cent of Parliament were women; Randwick is certainly leading the way on a local level.

“With five women on the council and an all-female leadership team, I think it’s really going to bring a different dynamic to the council.

“I’d like it to be democratic,” she said.

For Mayor Shurey, the positivity has been increased with the relief of no more council mergers.

“It’s such a relief, not just for the council but also the council staff, who were all in a difficult situation.

“Now we’re standing strong as Randwick City, and we can work forward in our own vision,” she told The Beast.

ffordable healthcare in Australia isn’t always a possibility, but one Bondi acupuncturist is looking to help ailing locals on a budget.

Ray Ford, of Experience Acupuncture, has been in the field for over 25 years and found the acupuncture industry in Australia to be exclusive to those who can afford to splurge on treatment. He opened the first multi-bed treatment style in Sydney ten years ago.

Mr Ford found that the cost of acupuncture, particularly a series of treatments, can be prohibitive to many people.

“There are a lot of people who need treatment that can’t afford it, way more than people realise,” Mr Ford told The Beast.

Mr Ford has returned to Bondi to offer a setup where each patient gets their own table and area within a large room, combining privacy with affordable services.

“The idea came to me after my many years in China, where hospitals have acupuncture wards within them.

“It’s an open room with between 10 and 20 people and it’s very noisy and interactive, and very inexpensive,” he said.

“We've adapted this for Australia, so it's a similar style but in a quiet, relaxed space, and there's no need to make appointments.”

The benefits of acupuncture are increasingly being recognised in Australia, with a study conducted by Medical Journal of Australia saying it is a suitable alternative to painkillers when treating patients in an emergency department.

For more information, visit experienceacupuncture.com.au.

Courier delivery day.

RUPERT MURDOCH CREATES BREAKAWAY ART EXHIBITION TO RIVAL SCULPTURE BY THE SEA Satire Kieran Blake Picture Reece Ykle

A

ustralian media mogul Rupert Murdoch has launched the Plastic by the C art exhibition in direct opposition to the world famous Sculpture by the Sea. The mobile installation features plastic wrappers from his two regional publications, The Wentworth Courier and The Southern Courier, which have been scattered throughout the streets of the East.

“Sculpture by the Sea is defunct!” declared Murdoch.

“I have decided it is defunct.

Residents will agree it is defunct, because reporters at the Courier newspapers will tell them it is defunct.”

Murdoch attacked the long standing exhibition for being overcrowded, bizarre, mundane, and baffling.

“Being stimulated, inspired, provoked, or intellectually confronted by frivolous art on the coastal walk is akin to reading a broadsheet on a Sunday morning. It’s an incongruous cognitive challenge and a waste of a great sea view.

38 The Beast | December 2017

“Plastic by the C, in contrast, is familiar, uniform, ubiquitous, bland, and easily digested. Plus, people don’t need to travel all the way to Bondi or Tamarama - our exhibition comes to them.”

Representatives of Plastic by the C also boasted of their ability to produce a quantity of works well in excess of the 1,272 that have so far featured in Sculpture by the Sea, which is now in its 21st year. They also spoke with assurance of the long term success of Plastic by the C. This confidence may stem from reports that News Ltd. staff have allegedly been offering enormous cash incentives to Sculpture by the Sea artists to switch sides, even while some were installing their creations beside the cliffs. One artist, who wished to remain anonymous, claims she was promised the world, provided she create all future works from sheets of oblong shaped transparent plastic.

Murdoch then acknowledged the role of locals themselves in Plastic by the C.

“Eastern Suburbs locals have a natural affinity with plastic - just visit any shopping precinct any day of the week - so we are supremely confident that they will embrace this new exhibition.

“Furthermore, residents themselves are central to this narrative because it is they who give life to the medium every time they tear off the plastic wrapper and throw it on the ground.

“And don’t forget, the Sculpture by the Sea works are removed in early November, but our creations will remain on the land and in the oceans for years and years.”

Various locals laughed off the concept, arguing that floating plastic bags do not deserve to be called art. One even suggested there was more merit in Marcel Duchamp’s audacious presentation of a toilet bowl in a 1917 exhibition.

In response, both The Wentworth Courier and The Southern Courier ran with the headline borrowed from Marshall McLuhan: “Art is anything you can get away with.”

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THE UNRELIABLE GUIDE TO...

SURVIVING THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS Words Nat Bayley Picture Nick O'Teen

S

chools are a great thing. Just when you thought you were never going to have a normal life again, your beloved child is old enough to go to one. Those precious hours provide some time to work and pay the mortgage - schools are great and teachers are angels. The trouble is, from the middle of December to the very end of January, these wonderful institutions shut up shop and expect us, the parents, to look after our kids ourselves. All day.

But never fear. As always, The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks to make sure you don’t have a nervous breakdown: LOOK IN THE PAPER You are not alone. Millions of mums and dads are facing the reality of the long school holiday, and there are a slew of activities laid on all around Sydney - many of them free. The only trouble is that the kids will usually be expected to have an adult with them. If both parents are working, that’s tough, so...

CHILDCARE The best thing about childcare centres is that they don’t shut up

40 The Beast | December 2017

shop for six weeks over summer and leave you in the lurch. The worst thing is that, unlike public schools, they cost... a lot. This option will only suit those of you who either: a) have to work; b) really can’t stand the idea of being stuck with your beloved angels 24/7.

TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK WITH YOU During the school holidays, my parents used to take me into work with them. Dad owned his own business, so he would just farm me out to some of the poor women who worked for him. Mum, however, worked in hospital administration, so I’m surprised she got away with it. Tip for hospital security: if a bored eight year-old can wander right into a surgical theater without anyone noticing, you might want to up your game.

SUMMER CAMPS These are great, especially for teenagers who can’t think of anything more mind-bendingly dull than being forced to spend time with their parents. Instead, they get to hang out with a group of kids their

own age and learn how to do new and exciting things, like smoking and sex. These camps do cost often quite a lot - but think of it as an investment in your child’s development and your own sanity.

Money well spent.

TAKE THEM TO A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY If you can get time off work, this can be an excellent way to make your kids realise how lucky and spoilt they really are. Plus, you’ll have all the fun of keeping them away from rabid dogs and dying from exotic diseases. There are life lessons too: kids from third world countries are genuinely thrilled by the privilege of attending school and delight in explaining this to bemused visiting children.

In addition, once you’ve paid for the flights, five weeks in India or similar will work out considerably cheaper than renting a 3m x 3m holiday cabin in Coffs Harbour.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide would like to remind you that the school holidays are only six weeks long...

Six weeks?! Oh my God!

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SANTA AT THE COOGEE PAVILION Santa will be dashing through the sand to the Coogee Pavilion this festive season. Get a photo with the big man and join in activities with his elves. Christmas trees will be available during the first two weeks of December, with all proceeds going to Ronald McDonald House.

FRESHLY COOKED HAM Nothing pleases the senses like the delicious smell of freshly cooked ham wafting out onto Macpherson Street from Lucas Meats.Cooked fresh on the premises daily, Christmas wouldn't be the same without one. Call 9369 3867 and put in your order before it's too late.

FOOD ADDICTS MEETINGS Tonight, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more info, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.

CHRISTMAS ART EXHIBITIONS Check out a number of art exhibitions on display at the Sydney Children's Hospital, Randwick from today until February 22. The exhibitions feature the work of a wide variety of artists, including Afternoon Tea (pictured above), by Loribelle Spirovski.

CONVERSATIONS ON COMPASSION Paul Callaghan belongs to the land of the Worimi people and is the author of iridescence. Finding Your Colours and Living Your Story.

Come and listen to Paul speak from 6.30pm-8.00pm tonight at the Mill Hill Centre. It's a free event, please call 0478 611 244 to book.

HAPPY CHANUKAH The Festival of Lights gets underway on the evening of December 12 and runs until December 20, so dust off your menorah, don your favourite yarmulke, dish out some gelt to the tin lids and celebrate like only Jews know how - for eight whole days! Mazel tov!

WAVERLEY CAROLS BY THE SEA Welcome in the festive season and sing to your heart's content at this year's Carols by the Sea. It promises to be a fun night for everyone, so get down to Bondi Park from 5pm8.30pm for this free, festive, community event. Visit www.waverley. nsw.gov.au/carolsbythesea.

AFFORDABLE YOGA Keen to try yoga but aren't really into ‘the scene’? Head to the Randwick Literary Institute every Thursday from 6.30am-7.30am to take advantage of Randwick Community Yoga's weekly yoga class for just $10. For more information, please call 0488 343 666.

WHAT'S ON AT CENTENNIAL PARK? Centennial Parklands have a packed calendar of awesome summer events that we couldn't possibly fit onto this page, so we decided to dedicate this little square to them and you can visit www.centennialparklands.com.au/ whatson for more information.

AQUABUDDIES SWIM SCHOOL Summer is finally here, so you should probably organise some swimming lessons for your offspring. AquaBuddies are the local leaders and offer small class sizes, as well as private lessons in home pools. For more information, visit www.aquabuddies.com.au.

LAST MINUTE SHOPPING Some people are twats like us and wait until Christmas Eve to do their last minute Christmas shopping, but we say tonight's the night to get ahead, so get down to the Junction as early as possible and witness the worst display of Eastern Suburbs driving imaginable.

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SYDNEY SIXERS VS ADELAIDE The Sydney Sixers return home to face the Adelaide Strikers today at the SCG as part of the 2017-18 BBL season. Don't miss the opportunity to see the side in action during the summer holiday period.

Fore more information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.

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CHRISTMAS DAY As hectic as Christmas can be here in Sydney, there's nothing quite like December 25 for bringing family and friends together. Put a cap on present prices and focus on the gift of hanging out with the people you love best. Merry Christmas to all from The Beast!

BOXING DAY Nurse your Christmas Day hangover by watching the Sydney to Hobart yachts cruise past from the harbour or the local cliff tops. If that doesn't get you excited, switch on the idiot box to catch the first day of the annual Boxing Day Test match. Yep, life's good!

Now you can upload all your local events for free

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IS IT REALLY DECEMBER ALREADY? It certainly is, and 2017 will be over before you know it. Were you aware that December got its name from the Latin word decem (meaning ten) because it was originally the tenth month of the year in the Roman calendar, which began in March?

Well now you are, you're welcome.

RANDWICK NURSERY SALE Drop in to Randwick Community Nursery today from 9am-4pm for their Summer Saturday Sale.

SIA AT ALLIANZ STADIUM Sia will perform at Allianz Stadium tonight as part of her first ever Aussie stadium tour. Visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au/events.

RANDWICK ARTISAN MARKETS Check out the array of lovingly and locally handmade fashion, homewares, accessories, jewellery, gifts, and more on level 1 of the Royal Randwick Shopping Centre from 10am-4pm today. For more information, visit www.royalrandwick.com.au/artisanmarkets.

BONDI BOOGIE DANCE PARTY To celebrate the International Day of Disability, the Bondi Boogie dance party will take place at Bondi Pavilion’s High Tide room this evening from 6.30pm-10.30pm.

Tickets are only $20 per person and numbers are limited. Please visit www.moshtix.com.au.

BELLAGIO’S SUMMER HARVEST Kicking off at 5.30pm, enjoy seasonal summer produce with booze, smoke, and pickles. Reserve a spot at bbq@bellagiohospitality.com.au.

COOGEE CAROLS BY THE SEA Get into the Christmas singing spirit tonight from 6pm-10pm at Grant Reserve, Coogee.

CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT Get down to St Lukes Anglican Church, Clovelly, this evening from 4.30pm-8pm for Carols by Candlelight. Yep, there are certainly a lot of carols events on this year, but even if you attend them all you'll still be a terrible singer.

Call 9665 8320 for more details.

SYDNEY FC VS MELBOURNE CITY Sydney FC meet their old rivals, Melbourne City, for a blockbuster clash at Allianz Stadium tonight.

The Sky Blues will need to be at their best to stop Tim Cahill and his team. Play starts at 7.50pm.

For more information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.

SOUTH 'BRA CHRISTMAS PARTY Is your favourite time of year actually tree-decorating time? Do department stores filled with tinsel and baubles fill you with hope and joy? Get along to South Maroubra Village Green today from 2pm5pm and get in the Christmas groove. Call 9311 0088 for details.

CHRISSY PRESENTS FOR SICK KIDS Drop a gift in to Courtyard Cafe or the Coogee Bay Hotel today from 1.30pm to get some good karma.

COOGEE CAROLS This is the big one! Get down to Coogee Beach this evening from 6.30pm-8.30pm and sing your heart out. Visit www.coogeecarols.com.au.

GORDONS AT NIGHT Ditch the cooking tonight and head down to Gordons Wine Bar on the corner of Clovelly Road and Beach Street, Clovelly, for a drink or two and great food. Gordons are now open every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night from 4pm.

Visit www.gordonscafe.com.au.

SYDNEY SIXERS AT THE SCG The Sydney Sixers' first home game of the SCG season will be a replay of the 2017 final against the Perth Scorchers today. The WBBL side will host Hobart Hurricanes in the first of their three fixtures at the ground. Please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.

BONDI SUNDAY MARKETS Today, and every Sunday between 10am and 4pm, you’ll find clothing from up-and-coming designers, handmade jewellery, exotic imports, retro-chic furniture, vinyl records, homewares, art, one-off vintage pieces, and more. Please visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.

SYDNEY FC VS PERTH GLORY Sydney FC take on Perth Glory at Allianz Stadium tonight. This will be a momentous occassion, as the two sides look to head into the New Year with some wind in their sails. Play starts at 7.50pm.

For more information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Bye bye 2017, jeez you've flown by.

Randwick City Council heralds in the New Year with a family friendly fireworks event at Coogee Beach commencing at 9pm, and the best views of the city fireworks are from Waverley's Dudley Page Reserve. See you in 2018.

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Drain Jet & CCTV Steve Kova metrojet.com.au Ph: 0414 885 675 Fencing Troy Salvatico Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0405 543 530 Carpenter Mark Potocki Against The Grain Ph: 0415 688 562 Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Concrete Head Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338

by visiting www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide

Exposing the Truth

KATE McCLYMONT Interview Madeleine Gray Picture (opposite) Fairfax Picture (cover) Jeremy Greive

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avid Marr has called Kate McClymont “the investigative journalist’s investigative journalist.” She has broken huge stories for The Sydney Morning Herald for decades, including the Bulldogs’ salary cap scandal and a plethora of dealings to do with Eddie Obeid – even writing a book on the latter in 2014. Here, The Beast talks with her about charging for verbal abuse in the Cross, dealing with defamation, and of course, whether or not journalism is actually dead.

Where are you originally from?

Orange, in central New South Wales. I grew up on a farm there, and it was great. I find that country people, especially those living on farms, have a certain kind of resilience. As kids we didn't really do the hanging around malls thing or anything like that, and there was quite a lot of work to do, helping out on the property.

Where are you living now? I'm living in Bondi Junction. I didn't realise until I moved here that it's called “The Jungo.” I’d say, “I live in Bondi Junction,” and people would say, “Oh, you mean The Jungo?” I’ve been living in the Eastern Suburbs for 25-30 years now.

And what do you love about the Eastern Suburbs? The thing that I love, I think more than anything else in the world, is doing the morning walk from Bondi to Tamarama. It never ceases to amaze me how beautifully glorious it is. It's there for us all really.

Although when Sculpture by the Sea is on, the crowds there are not so glorious.

Which brings us to what annoys you about the area… I worry about overdevelopment. I worry about high rises going up in certain areas.

Also, why haven’t they fixed up

the coastal walk around Waverley Cemetery after that big storm early last year?

Do you have any favourite local haunts? For coffee, I love Bellagio Tuckshop, which used to be called Nelson Road Tuckshop. I also like the Cook and Baker down on Oxford Street at Bondi Junction. I love Ruby's Diner, I think that's really good. There are some fabulous restaurants down Bronte way, too.

I love Three Blue Ducks, and there is a new one that's just opened that's really nice as well, just around the corner, called Huxton’s at Bronte.

Your undergraduate degree at the University of Sydney was not in media and communications, but in arts/law, with honours in English literature? Well, I was doing arts/ law, and in those days you could do an arts honours year three years in, and I did mine in English literature, and then you had your two years of straight law left. But after my honours year I just thought, look, I'll just work for a bit, have a bit of a life. I ended up getting a cadetship at The Herald. Sometimes I regret not finishing my law degree, but mostly I just think that I am so unbelievably lucky to have found something that I really love doing.

With English literature, I just loved it, and still do. One of my lecturers was Dame Leonie Kramer, who taught Australian literature really well. I love Christina Stead and I love Henry Handel Richardson, and I probably wouldn't have ever read them if I hadn't studied literature. That's just the joy of studying it at university; it opens you up to such a wide variety of literature. I'd love to go back.

You’ve told crikey.com.au that, while you were at university, you ran a busking booth in Kings

Cross, whereby you would charge passers-by to receive verbal abuse from you. Can you elaborate on that side racket for us please? Absolutely. I just had a fold-up table and a milk crate for me and one for my guest. And it was questions answered for 40 cents, arguments for 50 cents, and verbal abuse for one dollar. I used to make about 17 dollars an hour on a Saturday night in the Cross! It was great because people would pay for an argument and then other members of the crowd would start arguing and I would say, “Look, if you want to argue, you put your own 50 cents in.” People would pay you to abuse their girlfriends. You'd just say to the girlfriend, “You have got shocking taste that you would be with anyone who would pay to have you abused,” and then people would add their two cents. It was quite fun.

You graduated in 1981, but it wasn’t until 1985, when you were 25, that you started work at The Sydney Morning Herald as a graduate cadet. What did you do in the interim?

I went overseas for a year and then I worked at Bay Books, which was a publishing company. It was dire.

I was there for 18 months, and we were doing this book on the ‘A-Z of Australia and New Zealand’.

Anyway, I left there and I went overseas for a while, and then I came back and I was working. One of my all-time favourite jobs was doing subtitling for the Australian Captions Centre. It was subtitling for the deaf. You had to reduce the language because people can't read as fast as hearing, and you had to have the caption onscreen while that person’s face was on the screen.

I remember doing it for a British Series called Minder, which was about a scoundrel and his offsider.

It was really fun but it was so much Cockney rhyming slang and try-

December 2017 | The Beast 45

ing to reduce that without taking away the feel of the show was very hard, but great. Then I ran into somebody who got a cadetship at The Herald, and I thought, “That's what I should do.”

So why that decision to pursue the cadetship? Was it the thirst for truth telling that you cultivated in your Kings Cross truth booth days? Oh no, I think it was that I had grown up in a household where news and current affairs were constantly consumed. I remember I really loved the work of David Marr. I remember he gave a lecture at Sydney Uni once, and I couldn't believe when I later actually met him in the SMH office. And now he is a friend. It was great meeting these people who’d been only a byline on a page, and then seeing that they are full of foibles and idiosyncrasies like everyone else.

Funnily enough, after I started at The Herald, I think my first job was doing something called Style Magazine, about cushions and pillows and things like that, and then I got sent to The Eastern Herald.

At that time The Herald had such a big empire that they had inserts for different parts of Sydney. The Eastern Herald’s office was in Hollywood Avenue, Bondi Junction, just around the corner.

I had to write this gossip column called ‘Chums’. It was about the goings-on of the rich and famous in the Eastern Suburbs. I got so bored doing it, so I started breaking out into what I thought were more funny takes. I did a piece on a marriage where George Freeman and his wife were in the bridal party, and I wrote what I thought was a funny thing about the bridal party wearing sequins, which I said was the closest fashion accessory to armour plating that you could get away with at the chapel at Kincoppal Rose Bay. I started getting death threats! So I was a cadet writing about underworld figure George Freeman in the column of Chums.

Tell us about journalism at the SMH back in those days. These days my generation thinks of it as this rich journalistic utopia. Is that a collective reimagining or was that actually the case? Oh, it was certainly

46 The Beast | December 2017

the case. One time there was a coup in Fiji and there weren't any planes flying in so we hired our own. It truly was rivers of gold. Nowadays, you have to get a bus to Canberra.

Also, I think the freelance rates when I first started might have been $1.50 a word. It's now 50 cents. For papers, there were trucks rolling out all through the night to drive all over the state, and it just doesn't happen anymore. Now we don't properly service major issues in country towns unless they've got state significance.

I think the biggest mistake ever was publishers giving away their content for free and thinking that this would drive people to actually buy the product.

As a young journalist starting out, how did you lay the groundwork to make yourself indispensable? It's hard to say. I went to The National Times, which became The Times on Sunday. I then went to work as a researcher for two years at Four Corners, and I did a lot of work with Paul Barry. It was the beginning of the end of Alan Bond, and we just did programmes that took weeks and weeks of research.

I guess, too, because I am kind of chatty, even on the sporting fields, on the sidelines, people would give me stories. Once your name starts getting out there people come to you with stories. If my phone didn't ring between now and the rest of the year, I've got enough stories to do. In fact, I constantly feel stressed that people ring you up and they've got a story and you just can't do it.

That being said, I still think that there will be a resurgence somehow.

I just think the demand for quality journalism has never been higher. It's just the manner of distribution; I think the biggest mistake ever was publishers giving away their content for free and thinking that this would drive people to actually buy the product.

It’s working more now, especially at The Washington Times and so on with Trump, but it hasn’t for a long

time. Also, now I think people can be far more selective about what newspaper or TV programme reflects their own views already.

What was the first big story that you broke? One of the first big ones I did was on the eve of the Golden Slipper. I remember spending all night in someone’s office getting all these phone transcripts of these organised crime groups and jockeys fixing races. In the end, I think the leading jockey of the time was disqualified for two years. One of the jockeys, Jim Cassidy, spat on my back and said, “You fucking bitch!

You've ruined my life!” I thought then, and as I often think now, that even if you just write the truth, in the mind of the person you’re writing about, it’s always your fault.

Speaking of which, defamation is something feared by all journalists, both for economic and professional reasons. Are Australia’s defamation laws doing enough to protect the ability of journalists to do their jobs? Defamation is just the bane of our existence. But I do think people have a right to sue for harm to their reputation. Anne Davies and I wrote a series of stories in 2002 about the Bulldogs using a proposed development with Liverpool Council to channel monies to their players outside the salary cap. When the story came out, Liverpool Council got dismissed, and the Bulldogs went from the top of the competition to the bottom just before the finals.

We had also put something in the story about Eddie Obeid offering money to the Bulldogs.

Four different people had said to us that Eddie Obeid had said to the head of the Bulldogs, “If you pay a million dollars to the Labor party, we'll unblock it [purchase of land; a poker machine license] for you,” and the Bulldogs wouldn't pay.

We put this in the story and then Eddie Obeid sued, suggesting that we made him look corrupt, etc.

Then, people who had provided us with the information, and who said they would get into the witness box, didn't. We lost, and we had to pay $160,000 to Eddie, plus his legal fees, and it was terrible. You feel like a complete failure and you feel like a terrible journalist. It actu-

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ally took a while to get over that and it always upsets me that rival publications often like to dance on the graves and misfortunes of other journalists. But anyway, that's how it goes.

So, with defamation laws, I think it's really difficult. I wish that we had the American system, where public figures can really only sue for malice, because truth is no defence here in Australia. Every lawsuit that comes in is just like a blow to the heart because you know of the amount of work that goes into it.

I found that on the week that he joined Parliament, on the Wednesday he bought a property on Clovelly Road for $830,000, and the very next day he had sold it to the Housing Department for twice that amount of money.

Clearly a huge amount of work does go into every story, and obviously every story is different, but as a general rule, what does your investigative process look like?

A corkboard with red string connecting incriminating photos? Oh, sometimes you have white boards, especially if there's a murder. I took a photo of one we did recently, oh dear we were laughing. “Blackie does such and such, revenge for blah blah blah…” and then there's all these arrows going everywhere, and then it turned out the murderer was someone right on the outer tip of the whiteboard.

I generally start off with two documents: I have one I put down the notes on as I go along, and I also like to do a timeline because it always forces you to look at connections between things and you just think, “Oh my God! That company was registered two days before they bought that land.” That's probably the major tool of my trade: being able to do ASIC searches, property searches. And it's really expensive.

Each search is $28. The Federal Court charges $50 to inspect court papers. It adds up.

48 The Beast | December 2017

You might be sick of talking about it, but if you're not, could you tell us little bit about your work looking at Eddie Obeid? I first wrote about Eddie Obeid in 1999. It was these two engineers who had come to me, saying they had the contract to design and manufacture street poles for the City of Sydney Council. They said that two boys had approached them saying, “Look, if you give us your City of Sydney contract, we'll get you the Olympic contract.” The two engineers asked how, and the boys said, “Our Dad is Eddie Obeid.” And they, like me, thought, “Who is Eddie Obeid?”

So I wrote on that, and then people began to send in little bits of information. Then I just started collecting information on Eddie Obeid and did a really long investigative piece. I sort of thought, “Oh, when people read this, something will happen [to Obeid].” And there was nothing. Dead silence.

In 2000, for instance, I went through all of his property holdings and I found that he had had all these fires. I found that on the week that he joined Parliament, on the Wednesday he bought a property on Clovelly Road for $830,000, and the very next day he had sold it to the Housing Department for twice that amount of money. But every time I wrote something I thought, “This, this will be the nail in the coffin,” and it never was.

So it was funny then that the very first story about the street poles turned out to be, should I say… ‘the smoking pole’? The Obeids did end up getting the street pole contract, and took their [the two engineers’] design, took everything. They were secretly selling these poles overseas. They didn't own the licence or the intellectual property to do it. So the City of Sydney, to their credit, sued them, and were awarded a $12 million payout, plus $4 million in interest and penalties. Of course then Moses Obeid says, “I can't pay, I've got no money. I only earn $80,000 a year and my wife earns $60,000,” so the City of Sydney subpoenaed their bank records and there it all was. He’d gotten a loan from the bank. Like hello, how do you pay the mortgage on a $4.2 million dollar house when you and your wife only earn $120,000 a year?

Olympic pole vaulting, perhaps?

Oh yes. So there it was in the bank records, all of what we had been trying to find for all these years. Moses is in the witness box wondering which lie to tell. Do I lie to the court now and say I've got no money? Or do I admit I lied to the bank when I said, “I'm part of the Obeid Family and look at all these riches”?

Then ICAC came along and did the rest. We could have never got what they got. You'd like to think that you could, but we've got no way of getting behind trusts. Unless someone in the family or someone else leaks it to you, you're never going to get any tax records or get behind any trusts.

What stories are you finding fascinating right now? Someone has just dropped in [name redacted]’s diary.

He left it somewhere and, now that he's in jail, they've just handed it over. So I'm going through all his business dealings for the last couple of years. Oh my God, it's fascinating. As long as we don't acquire anything ourselves, it's sort of a bit like finders keepers.

What else am I doing? I love the ATO stories with the Cranstons.

I've also got the diary of a bagman [an agent who collects or distributes the proceeds of illicit activities], which is showing payments to a politician, so that's on the boil.

There’s the Lionel Murphy things. I think he was a complete crook myself. Look, he may have been a fantastic judge… well, actually, I don't think he was a fantastic judge. He really did do some fantastic things about family law, and he was always a bit of maverick on the high court, but he was a completely flawed character.

Do you support any charities? I support Lou's Place, which is a women's homeless shelter.

Finally, in an ideal world, what does the future hold for Kate McClymont? I just want to keep doing what I'm doing, and I just hope that I can stay healthy and fit enough, and mentally acute enough, to keep doing it. I can't see me retiring. I think one day I'll just fall over and clunk my head on my laptop.

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A plumber and his kingy.

PERSISTENT CONSISTENCY, OR WAS IT CONSISTENT PERSISTENCY? Words and Picture Dan Trotter

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ne thing is for certain in this world: to get solid success, you need to be focused, determined, and unwavering in your goals. And, you need to put in your ten thousand hours to be become an expert. Some millennials may disagree, and good luck to them, but don’t come to me looking for advice - not now, or when the wheels fall off.

In my passionate pursuit of fishing, as in my business career and in my relationships, the thing that has become truer and truer over the years is the proof of persistent consistency, or consistent persistency.

If we all dig deep enough, we know that it’s true. Keep doing what you do, and do it well. Deliver consistency and you will be in the right place at the right time and, hey bingo, things will start to happen that you’d always dreamed of.

Like that 80lb kingie outfit of yours doubling over with line spewing off it faster than you can believe; like your knots holding tight and your mate's net shot being perfect; like that sweet, sweet feeling of success with a 10-15kg 50 The Beast | December 2017

yellowtail kingfish in your arms and a smile the size of the Great Australian Bite spread across your salty, windblown face.

Write it down. What were the keys to success? Repeat them, and soon enough you’ll be able to replicate the results. Then, further refine them and see just how good you can get.

I’ve said it too many times to count: “Fishing reflects life, life reflects fishing.” There are great days when everything is outstanding, and there are shit days when nothing goes right. Months will go by in life where you can’t take a wrong turn, and then there will be months where you can hardly scrape yourself out of bed. But, if you're up early for enough sunrises, sooner or later the magic will start to happen.

And so it is that December, the final month of the year, is right on our doorstep and banging louder than ever to remind us that there's only 31 days left in another calendar year. How are you going to make the final days count? Last year I stuck a post-it note to my

computer that read, “There are 525,600 minutes in a year, there are 8,760 hours in a year,” and it has remained there ever since.

Some days it motivates me, other days it makes me want to collapse on the ground with despair as time slips by, but it always reminds me that life is precious; life is fleeting, and it’s up to us to make the minutes and hours count.

So, if you love your fishing, just get out there. Make the time for a pre-work spin off the stones for tailor, kings, or bonito. Or an afternoon session on twilight reds with a mate in a tinnie. Perhaps you need to take a day off work midweek, or a day away from the family on the weekend, and go chasing kings on an offshore hard reef, or venture to the wider grounds where the cobalt currents hold so many surprises, to see if you can hook yourself a billfish or mahi-mahi.

If you’re lucky enough to catch, be thankful and appreciate the fish you catch, and make the most of the meal and nutrition that its life has provided you and yours.

Enjoy and persist, consistently!

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DECEMBER 2017 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Amaury Tréguer Instagram @morningbondi MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

•

0.29 2.00 0.13 1.52

5 0341 1010 1647 2251

0.32 2.03 0.12 1.49

11 0354 0944 1552 2227

1.39 0.66 1.48 0.46

12 0453 1055 1656 2317

1.44 0.65 1.40 0.48

18 0233 0907 1544 2135

0.51 1.74 0.39 1.33

19 0309 0942 1619 2213

0.52 1.75 0.38 1.33

25 0147 0722 1338 2023

1.29 0.69 1.52 0.48

26 0242 0822 1432 2115

1.32 0.70 1.45 0.48

•

Fiery f ingers of light.

•

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

1 0032 0656 1315 1915

0.35 1.68 0.41 1.53

2 0117 0743 1408 2008

0.31 1.81 0.29 1.55

3 0203 0830 1500 2101

0.29 1.92 0.19 1.54

7 0528 0.43 1154 1.95 1839 0.20

8 0046 0625 1249 1937

1.40 0.50 1.84 0.28

9 0147 0727 1346 2036

1.37 0.57 1.71 0.35

10 0251 0833 1447 2133

1.37 0.63 1.58 0.41

13 0546 1.50 1201 0.62 1755 1.36

14 0002 0634 1300 1847

0.49 1.56 0.56 1.34

15 0045 0716 1347 1934

0.49 1.62 0.51 1.33

16 0122 0756 1430 2017

0.50 1.67 0.46 1.33

17 0159 0832 1507 2057

0.50 1.71 0.42 1.33

20 0345 1017 1655 2251

0.53 1.75 0.38 1.32

21 0422 1053 1732 2330

0.55 1.73 0.40 1.30

22 0501 0.58 1130 1.69 1811 0.42

23 0013 0544 1209 1852

1.29 0.62 1.64 0.45

24 0058 0630 1251 1936

1.28 0.65 1.58 0.47

27 0339 0930 1536 2208

1.38 0.69 1.41 0.47

28 0437 1043 1644 2302

1.47 0.64 1.39 0.44

29 0532 1153 1751 2356

30 0627 1.71 1257 0.42 1853 1.43

31 0048 0719 1356 1952

0.37 1.84 0.29 1.46

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter 4 0251 0919 1554 2156

FRIDAY

6 0433 1101 1743 2348

0.37 2.01 0.14 1.44

1.58 0.54 1.40 0.40

•

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December 2017 | The Beast 53

You're doing it all wrong.

MULTITASKING - FACT, FICTION, OR FOE? Words Jeremy Ireland, Psychotherapist Picture Con Centrate

S

ummer time and the lead-up to Christmas means different things to different people. For some, it’s a time for relaxing, going to the beach, catching up with friends, taking it easy, and not doing too much. For others, it might feel a bit more chaotic, especially when it’s all happening at once; checking work emails as you elbow your way through crowded shopping malls with fighting kids in tow - already bored with school holidays - while you’re fighting your inner conscience after receiving a text from the in-laws inviting themselves to Christmas lunch. If you’re someone who identifies with the latter group and thinking you’re doing okay despite the myriad of activities crammed into your day, you may consider yourself a ‘multitasker’.

So what does it actually mean to multitask? Is it a real and tangible thing, or is it more of an exaggerated or idealised conception? Loaded questions perhaps, but ask anyone what they think multitasking is and the most likely answer will be, “the

54 The Beast | December 2017

ability to do many things at once.”

Ask why they multitask, and they’ll probably say, “because I can,” or, “I have to.” Smartphones make it convenient, right? Technology allows it, your boss wants it, and the younger generation are convinced that the bad rap on multitasking is a hoax perpetrated by oldies who just don’t get it. Surely they’re right, right?

Recent research is now confirming that multitasking is more of a falsehood than fact, and that the brain actually doesn’t do things simultaneously as we previously thought or perhaps hoped. Instead, when we attempt to multitask, the brain doesn’t actually do more than one activity at a time, but rather it quickly switches between them. Every time we switch between tasks there is a start-stopstart process that occurs in the brain.

So when we try to do different things at once, such as texting, talking, emailing, Facebooking, checking notifications - all while ordering your morning coffee and flagging down the bus to work - the start-stop-start

process uses up oxygenated glucose in the brain and actually makes us less efficient, slows us down, and saps our energy. In fact, we lose the ability to focus on any of these tasks properly, and as a result we can make more mistakes and feel tired, stressed, and sometimes angry.

From a biological perspective, the myth of multitasking becomes clearer. As the brain quickly switches from task to task, our stress levels go up. The more switching, the higher the stress level, which results in higher cortisol levels, leaving people irritable, hungry (craving things like sugar and caffeine), and unable to concentrate. Sleep deprivation or broken sleep can also compound the issue. Although cortisol is a natural hormone produced by the body to help deal with our ‘fight or flight’ response, if we have too much of it in our body it can work against us.

“But I can multitask, just watch me...” Well, that might be true to some extent. Indeed, divided attention is possible and can become automatic if tasks are easy or well practiced. But when things get harder, controlled processing is required and our need to concentrate goes up. As cognitive load increases, distraction kicks in and lowers the ability to multitask. Low load tasks, like hanging out the washing while listening to music, are much less taxing than higher load tasks, like checking emails while talking on the phone. Such high load tasks tend to lead to a drain in productivity.

So where does this leave the multitasker, now that we know it’s unproductive, ineffective, and stressful? Solutions vary, but one approach might be to ‘unitask’, whereby we complete one task before undertaking another, or by setting aside dedicated chunks of time for each separate activity, allowing ourselves to focus on one thing before moving on to the next. Unfortunately, with so much distraction being available at our fingertips, it could be said that today’s society is experiencing an attention crisis, or a ‘cognitive plague’.

This inability to focus hinders workplace productivity, weakens intimate personal relationships, and impairs judgment while driving. It’s not all bad though; when you lose your car in the Westfield car park due to multitasking, at least Google Maps will help you find it.

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Bring back the good ol' days.

HIT AND GIGGLE OR THE DEVOLUTION OF HUMANKIND? Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Carl Lewis

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n the lead up to Christmas a strange phenomenon will resume. No, not the frantic shoppers swarming Bondi Junction with bedraggled hair and wild looks in their eyes. I’m talking about the Big Bash League (BBL) - cricket’s contribution to the further dumbing down of our society.

Can the Scorchers go back to back? Does anyone care? If you are more than 12 years old – and it’s a slow twelve – how could you possibly? Teams cut and paste their rosters each year, sometimes mid-season. ‘Marquee’ signings tend to be older players, well beyond their best, or T20 specialists; mercenaries who can hit a six, take a catch, but can’t concentrate for longer than a few minutes - the next generation, basically.

I must admit, last season I was drawn into watching on a few occasions, and I hate myself for it. The bright colours and flashing lights, designed to hypnotise, sucked me in after long days of working at the coalface. Like 56 The Beast | December 2017

the pokie machines down at the local, it lures you with its mindless chimes (Ricky Ponting’s commentary) and keeps you there until it has sucked every cent it can.

Except the BBL didn’t chew down one of my fivers, it sucked out the very essence of my soul.

Call me the Cricket Grinch if you must, but I firmly believe that the growing success of the BBL is the first obvious sign that human civilization has peaked and we are now on our way down.

Can you honestly tell me that the concurrent rise of the BBL and Donald Trump was a coincidence?

I think not.

What happens when sixes no longer titillate? When flashing lights in the bails aren’t quite enough? Will Cricket Australia resort to public floggings of failing batsmen to get people through the doors? You can’t use sex to sell anything anymore, so violence is the next obvious answer.

Because attention spans are only going to shorten even more

if we continue to pander to these sorts of things. Not to mention the fact we are surely going to run out of decent bowlers. Why would any kid growing up want to be a bowler? They’d have to be a masochist.

I’m starting to think Cricket Australia must be masochists though. If you’ve spent any time reading The Grade Cricketer, you will be familiar with the deep vein of self-loathing that is carried by most cricketers. By folding to the perceived demand for twentytwenty cricket, they have basically admitted that their product is subpar and needs to be improved.

You need only look at soccer, ‘the world game’, to see that sticking to your guns is a far better strategy. If any game could do with a bit of added excitement, it’s soccer, but you don’t see them bringing in ‘power plays’. They have doggedly remained unchanged and we respect them all the more for it.

But how can we respect cricket when it has no respect for itself ?

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Seasons Greetings

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and safe festive season.

If you are travelling, please take care on the roads. If you are visiting one of our beautiful beaches, please swim between the flags and follow directions of Lifesavers.

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monumental challenges into a framework and tool that feels personal, relevant, and easy to share and talk about.

What are the top 3 things people would get out of using the app?

1. Personal motivation – consider it a buddy that helps motivate you.

2. Connect with friends who also want to make a positive impact, since you can log into the app through Facebook.

3. Access to products and services that can help to support more sustainable living in the long term.

Focusing on what's important.

MAKE THAT CHANGE TODAY AN INTERVIEW WITH SEB BERRY Words Asha Kayla, Waverley Sustainable Communities Picture Staggrd

E

ver felt helpless in the face of big problems challenging our society: climate change, environmental degradation, plastic pollution? Keen to make a positive contribution to the health of our world, but not sure where to start?

You’re not alone. Meet Bondi local, Seb Berry. He felt the same way five years ago, so he set off on a path to help himself and others to take action, one day at a time.

Seb didn’t feel like he was doing enough to show up and use his position of privilege in the world.

“I wanted to focus on what was important and live with more purpose, but I didn’t know how to,” explained Seb. Like all passionate changemakers, he threw himself into a new project and created the TODAY app.

58 The Beast | December 2017

Here’s the lowdown from my catch-up with Seb last month: What is your favourite thing about living in the local area? I’ve been in the east for 10 years and in Bondi for the last four. I love that I'm pretty much 60 seconds from jumping in the surf anytime I want!

What is the TODAY app? TODAY is a sustainable living app that gives people one small challenge to complete each day. Then it gives people feedback on the positive impact they're having. It prompts little habit hacks and changes we can easily make - like going meat-free for a day or grabbing a reusable coffee cup. For me, the first was to try and figure out how to bring the world's most

Why/how do you think a digital app will deliver positive changes in people’s behaviour? It makes it easy for people to take simple steps on big issues. We live with one of the most powerful pieces of technology in our pockets, 24 hours a day - our smartphones.

We recognise the need to make change towards sustainable alternatives, and there's no doubt that we'll need technology to help us along the way to make it easy, fun, smart, and social.

What’s your vision for the TODAY app? My hope for TODAY is for it to become a powerful tool for us to reconnect and focus on the things that matter to us most. We have so much opportunity to turn the tables on grand-scale problems and the value we give to the environment (not to mention our cultures and the importance of our personal wellbeing).

What other 'New Year' advice do you have for people? Try one small thing each day. Why not start today? To find out more, head to www.the-today-app.com.

Wishing you all a happy and safe festive season and New Year.

Seb is also signed up to Second Nature and volunteers with Blue Bondi Green. You can sign up at www.secondnature.org.au to see what you can do within the Waverley community.

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A LONG WEEKEND IN ADELAIDE AND THE BAROSSA VALLEY Words and Pictures The Bondi Travel Bug

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delaide has finally grown up and shed her ‘city of churches’ moniker. Cool cafés, hip bars, and 21st century pubs have done away with the dingy old locals and replaced their tastes with designer beers, fine wines, and fancy restaurants with magnificent menus to match the modern makeovers.

We arrived on a sunny Saturday morning for a three-day discovery tour. After checking in to the centrally located Hilton Adelaide, we headed out to discover what the city had to offer.

The first port of call was the Adelaide Markets, only a moment's walk from our hotel. After indulging in the local produce, we waddled out and attempted to discard some calories, jiving to some of the many buskers plying their trade in Rundle Mall, before unearthing some more of the hidden gems of Adelaide’s surrounding streets. It was here that we found a wide variety of retro shops, beauty and hair salons, restaurants, cafes, and some very cool bars indeed.

Following a much needed caffeine hit, we made our way up to the Adelaide Hills, to Deviation Road Winery, located just 15 minutes from the CBD, for an afternoon of wine, dancing, and the gorging of enormous pizza and cheese platters.

We discovered this little gem courtesy of our friends who live in Adelaide. They had invited us to experience the postcard perfect winery and vineyard and we ended up having the maddest few hours.

There’s plenty of room for the kids to play, and the adults to play up highly recommended!

As our first day came to a close, we relaxed with a delicious (and romantic) Hilton Adelaide room service dinner and movie night.

The next day we hired a car and organised a self-driving day tour to the renowned South Australian wine region, the Barossa Valley.

60 The Beast | December 2017

There are several different routes to the Barossa Valley from the Hilton Adelaide and we chose the Onkaparinga scenic route, which took us past Birdwood and our first stop at Handorf, a German influenced town with a charming European feel.

After refuelling with coffee, cake, and fresh strawberries, and a spot of window-shopping, we continued on our journey. The route took us through some of the most beautiful Australian landscapes we'd ever experienced.

Following a much needed caffeine hit, we made our way up to the Adelaide Hills, to Deviation Road Winery, located just 15 minutes from the CBD, for an afternoon of wine, dancing, and the gorging of enormous pizza and cheese platters.

Our only other stop before the first vineyard was to check out a massive gum tree which (legend has it) had a German family called the Herbigs living inside its 500 year-old semi-hollow trunk for two years in the 1800s - a fleeting yet interesting visit.

Not long after this and we found ourselves pulling into the first of the day's designated winery stops, Henschke, to get down to the serious business of tasting the local fermented grapes.

The English manor and setting of this winery were like something out of a fairytale. Moments later and the chardies, pinots, merls, and sauv blancs were being poured, much to the glee of our discerning palates.

The Henschke winery has been producing classic wines in

this region since 1862 and, as the saying goes, “The proof is in the pudding.” A quintissential Barossa Valley experience.

On our way to the next winery, surrounded by vineyards, we stopped in for lunch at the delightful South Australian Company Store restaurant. We cut a swathe through a variety of the local produce, before motoring on to our next winery, Seppeltsfield.

Set in opulent grounds with manicured gardens, Seppeltsfield is one of Australia’s largest and oldest wineries, and the wines here are as good as the real estate.

With just enough time to sneak in another quick visit, we continued on to the charming, family owned Elderton Wines for our final stop.

Having just experienced three of Australia's premier wineries, and a lazy drive back to the Hilton Adelaide (with plenty of new bottles), we decided to stay in and enjoy a blissful night’s sleep.

The following morning we borrowed a couple of courtesy bikes and set out to work off the wine and cheese binge from the day before. We cycled 15 kilometres along the bank of Torrens River to one of Adelaide’s most famous beaches, Glenelg. The return trip turned out to be even more pleasant, in a taxi!

As our weekend wound down and the wine wore off, we realised that Adelaide had surpassed everything we had ever imagined it to be.

Where to stay Overlooking Victoria Square, the Hilton Adelaide is set right in the heart of the city’s entertainment, shopping and dining precincts. www.adelaide.hilton.com (08) 8217 2000 How to get there Vicky Gilden at Rose Bay Travel (02) 9371 8166

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Cleveland Dreamers are (from left to right) Cameron, Lachlan, Nick, Dorian, and Vinny.

CLEVELAND DREAMERS - BROTHERLY SURF ROCK Interview James Hutton Picture Anneliese Nappa

C

leveland Dreamers are a local five-piece rock band that formed in 2016 when brothers Lachlan, Cameron, and Vincent began to make noise with two of their school friends, Dorian and Nick.

They've played and recorded across Sydney and will be putting on shows across the Eastern Suburbs throughout summer. They've also released their debut EP, DoubleParked FilghtPath. The Beast caught up with bass guitarist and Coogee local Nick Wright...

If I had to describe our sound in one sentence… I'd say brotherly surf rock.

My first memory of music is… dancing to Dad's surf records.

Those guitar and drums sounds still influence where we like to push the climaxes of our songs.

Growing up, my parents listened to… The Atlantics, Dick Dale, Beach Boys, The Monkeys, The Beatles, Chad Morgan, America, and U2.

Our dream gig would be… one of the camping festivals held over New Year's: Lost Paradise, The Falls, or Beyond the Valley.

64 The Beast | December 2017

If you come to see us play, you can expect... plenty of on-stage dancing, which usually gets the crowd moving. We'll also be performing all of our released music, so you can have a listen before the gigs and enjoy a good old sing-along.

There was one time when we were starting out… the crowd came on stage for an impromptu karaoke encore after a show at Old Dave's Soul in Coogee. It was really organic - good crowd, good venue, good memories.

If we could have chosen one song to have written, it would have to be… Snow, by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, although anything by the Chilis would be amazing.

Our favourite song to perform would have to be… Rainbows, off the new EP, DoubleParked FlightPath. It's a fast dance tune.

The best thing about the local music scene is… the support from all the other musicians - it's blown us away. Momentum is building in the Sydney live music scene since the lockout laws debacle. We attribute this to the high standard and the support from all the bands.

One person we’d still really like to record with is… Snoop Dogg, if they let him into Australia. The man is an icon.

Our new EP, DoubleParked FlightPath, was inspired by… a desire to play big shows and watch people dance.

Our biggest fan has got to be... band manager Gerard 'Birtha' McTaggart. He keeps telling us he has connections in Wagga Wagga.

Thanks mate!

I’ll know we have made it when... our lead singer, Vinny, can buy his own meals.

To find out more about us... come and enjoy a night out at our upcoming single launch at Leadbelly, Newtown, on December 3 (it's such a sick venue), or search for us on Spotify, Facebook, and Instagram. We aren't on Twitter yet!

Cleveland Dreamers will be hitting the road to play plenty of shows this summer. Keep an eye out for them across the Eastern Suburbs line-ups if you're in the mood to dance.

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ALBUM #1 Artist Weezer Album Pacific Daydream Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  If I turned this on at a house party, with no introduction, my friends would give me that “What the hell have you just put on?” look. You know the one; confused eyes and a light sneer, like you’ve just done a putrid fart and crop dusted the entire room. I would have to explain to them that it was the new Weezer, and then they would give me another look, the “What the hell happened to them?” look. Then they would ask me to turn it off. Weezer have always been pop, but this is sickly sweet, Mountain Dew pop, and I can’t abide it.

ALBUM #2 MOVIE REVIEW TITLE The Killing of a Sacred Deer GENRE Psychological horror with a twist of humour REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador Anyone who has seen any of Yogos Lanthimo’s films (The Lobster, Dogtooth, Alps) will know to expect something completely different and warped.

With his latest offering, The Killing Of The Sacred Deer, he has pushed his boundaries of psychological horror intermingled with darkly deadpan dialogue even further.

Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell) is a successful heart surgeon who appears to have it all: wealth, prestige, and an idyllic family life. That is until Martin (Barry Keoghan), a naïve and awkward yet manipulative teenager Steven has befriended, delivers him a horrifyingly twisted quid pro quo type ultimatum that is too bizarre to even imagine.

By reuniting with his award-winning band of usual suspects, which include long-time writing collaborator Efthymis Filippou, stylistic cinematographer Thimios Bakatakis, and his current-actorof-choice Colin Farrell, he has been able to create a uniquely sinister film using the often used Greek tragedy motifs of revenge, justice, and fate but has delivered them in his uniquely surrealistic manner.

This is definitely a film you are better off knowing little about prior to watching. It is unsettlingly bleak yet quirky and will keep you in a constant state of suspense, constantly flipping alliances from one character to another until the disturbing end.

66 The Beast | December 2017

Artist Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile Album Lotta Sea Lice Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  I have never really had a whole lot of love for this sort of hazy, stoner music. Dinosaur Jr? Shit band, and people need to stop pretending otherwise. I saw them at a festival a few years ago and no one was enjoying it. They were just vaguely pretending they were, but really they were not, I could tell. In fairness, Lotta Sea Lice is a little more Bob Dylan-esque than just ‘I’ve punched so many cones that I can’t keep my head up’, but I would still wager that you would need more than just a few hits of the sticky-icky-icky to really get into it.

ALBUM #3 Artist Julien Baker Album Turn Out The Lights Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Recently, I started reading Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte for the first time. I haven’t been able to get the Kate Bush song of the same name out of my head since, but I have found a worthy replacement here. Dramatic yet subtle, grandiose yet stripped back, this really is a striking album. It would prove a good soundtrack for some lost lovers wandering the misty moors of England. I have goose bumps just thinking about it! It’s best to listen to this alone, with a large glass of red wine, and some pent-up heartache.

Then, prepare to weep.

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December 2017 | The Beast 67

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Seb Diaz Instagram @surfographer RANDWICK COUNCIL CAROLS Kick off your Christmas carols crusade at Grant Reserve, Coogee on Saturday, December 9 from 6pm.

For those around Matraville, head down to Barwon Park from 5pm, also on Saturday, December 9. St Lukes Clovelly will be hosting a carols event from 4.30pm on Sunday, December 10, and the South Maroubra Christmas party kicks off from 2pm at South Maroubra Village Green (corner Malabar Road and Meagher Avenue) on Saturday, December 16. And just in case you're still in the mood for singing, the culmination of a very carolly month, Coogee Carols, will take place at Coogee Beach on Sunday, December 17 from 6.30pm. For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

SILENT NIGHT AT DARLINGHURST THEATRE COMPANY Tired of consumerism, overeating, and fake family bonding? Silent Night is the perfect antidote to those Christmas blues. Every year for the past 12 years, the Lickfolds have entered the ARCE Awards for the best Christmas decoration display in Australia. Their path to electric glory is thwarted when someone unexpected comes down the chimney. A hilarious take-no-

Gloomy NoBo.

prisoners comedy for anyone who feels a mix of terror and affection about spending Christmas with family, Silent Night will be showing at Darlinghurst Theatre Company until December 10. To book, visit www.darlinghursttheatre.com.

WAVERLEY CAROLS BY THE SEA Get down to Bondi Park, Bondi Beach, from 5.30pm on Wednesday, December 13, for face-painting, craft, and a sausage sizzle, with all proceeds going to charity. Enjoy performances from School of Arts Academy of Dance and Bondi Dance Company, and sing along to carols with the Bondi Beach Public School Choir, Cassy Darvall, Cool Yule, the Sunshine Singers, Bondi Wave artist Angel Mitrani, and very special guest artist Emma Pask. For more information, please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

SHE SESSIONS Get down to the Clovelly Hotel on Sunday afternoons from 2pm to enjoy a celebration of some of Australia’s very best female artists including Asta, Tigertown, Bec Sandridge, and Saskwatch. This series of live music sessions in the Cloey beer garden are on every Sunday up until Christmas Eve. Presented by Corona, the headline

act will perform from 3:15pm, with DJs keeping everyone in the mood from 2pm and on into the evening.

Visit the Clovelly Hotel Facebook page for more information.

LIVE MUSIC AT THE BUNKER Coogee Diggers has always been a great supporter of live music, so show them your support by getting along to one of their weekend gigs in The Bunker. Sam Whitelaw, with Courtney Marie Andrews, are booked in to play on Saturday, December 2, Marshall Okell will be performing dirty blues & roots on Friday, December 15, and the Weekend Rockers will be playing on Sunday, December 17. For the full gig guide and more information on The Bunker's line-up, visit www.coogeediggers.com.au.

GET READY TO DANCE! To celebrate International Day of People with Disability, the Bondi Boogie dance party will take place at Bondi Pavilion’s High Tide room on Friday, December 8, from 6.30pm-10.30pm. Bondi Boogie is hosted by Waverley Council’s Waverley Community Living Program. Tickets are limited and will set you back $20 per person. For more information and to book, please visit www.moshtix.com.au.

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December 2017 | The Beast 71

Monkfish with clams and peas à la Françoise.

THE BELLEVUE DOES DINING, AND DOES IT VERY WELL Words Dining Dave Instagram @diningdave Picture Lisa Manche

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really like Paddington. The terraces and old world vibe appeal to my sensibilities, and an evening there is something I always look forward to. The Bellevue has been standing in Paddo since 1880, and recently received a refit and revamped menu in both the restaurant and the pub.

We came in with great anticipation on a cool Thursday night.

Tucked away on the intersection of Taylor and Hargrave Streets, in the heart of Paddington, The Bellevue is a hidden treasure offering a great restaurant, classic pub vibes, and private function rooms. It was filled to capacity when our group of four arrived at 7.00pm for dinner, due to a $1 oyster special in the bar, and we saw plenty more specials throughout the week. Making our way through the throng of patrons, we entered the restaurant at the rear of the ground floor where we admired the redesigned room featuring complementary dark and light earth-tones, a skylight, hanging globes, an open view kitchen, a wall of hanging cutting boards, and an old favourite of mine: a roll of butcher paper for displaying the specials.

72 The Beast | December 2017

We were greeted by Emily the restaurant manager, who filled us in on the recent changes at The Bellevue and recommended the best dishes for us to try. We started with some fresh Iggy’s bread, local burrata with oxheart tomatoes and vierge dressing, house smoked Ora king salmon with pickled vegetables and crème fraiche, charred asparagus with truffle vinaigrette and macadamia, and anchovies in olive oil with grilled sourdough.

As Head Chef Rob explained, the focus is on Australian produce - like the burrata from Victoria and the salmon from Tasmania - and offering their own spin on on-trend dishes, with a touch of French cuisine.

The grilled flavour of the asparagus really stood out, while the tenderness and flavouring of the salmon and the softness of the burrata made for a wonderful opener to the meal.

Again, taking the lead from Emily, we selected for our mains: the market fish (monkfish on the day of our visit) with clams and peas à la Françoise, braised beef cheek with onion rings and soubise

onion purée, crumbed lamb cutlets with house smoked mash and spring onions, 270+ days aged grain-fed bavette (flank) steak with house smoked herb and garlic butter, and steamed seasonal greens to balance out the carbs and proteins.

Between the dish presentation, the freshness of the elements, the combination of flavours, and the kitchen craftmanship, we were really blown away by all of the dishes. If I had to pick out the top two, I’d recommend the flank steak (medium-rare) and the monkfish (pictured); both expressed their flavours most powerfully.

Another impressive aspect of The Bellevue’s revamped menu is its focus - it’s a one-pager - which shows a strong dedication to each dish.

The dessert menu follows the same format, with three offerings.

We started with an Espress-XO martini of Patron XO Café, Licor 43 vanilla liqueur, and fresh espresso, which put me in the mood for the treats to come: a coffee brûlée, made using 1880 Bellevue blend espresso with vanilla shortbread; the white chocolate parfait with smoked macadamia and blackberries; and the tropical Eton mess, made with mango sorbet and coconut chantilly.

Once again, the presentation of the desserts was at its artistic best, and the combination of the coffee, chocolate, crème liqueur, and fruit left us all totally satisfied.

The Bellevue’s restaurant is a winner in my book. If you enjoy an evening out in Paddo and are looking for high quality, well prepared food creations, The Bellevue is doing dining, and they're doing it very well indeed.

The Bellevue www.bellevuehotel.com.au Address 159 Hargrave Street, Paddington Phone 9363 2293 Instagram @bellevuepaddington Facebook www.facebook.com/ TheBellevueHotel Open 7 days, 11.30am until late Prices $30 mains, $20 starters Cards Accepted Yes Licensed Yes

®

Food is medicine.

TROPICAL MANGO BLISS BALLS A FESTIVE VEGAN AND PALEO TREAT Recipe and Picture Catherine Noonan

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make these tropical mango bliss balls once a week throughout December, but the truth is they barely last that long. They are made with my favourite tropical fruits: mango and coconut. They are sweet, thanks to some nutritious Natural Delights Medjool dates (not to be confused with dried dates). Natural Delights Medjool dates are packed with potassium, which makes them a great post-workout snack. When refrigerated, these tropical mango bliss balls are perfectly firm, thanks to some healthy fat from coconut oil, which also boasts antiviral properties. Doesn't this put truth behind Hippocrates’ famous statement, “Food is medicine”?

These tropical mango bliss balls are vegan and paleo, which means no dairy, eggs, grains, refined sugar, legumes, or other nasty ingredients. To go that step further, meeting the demands of school lunchbox rules and putting smiles on faces of those with nut allergies, these tropical mango bliss balls are also nut free. Instead of nuts, I've 74 The Beast | December 2017

added a small amount of activated pepitas, which boast good levels of magnesium. Remember that activated nuts and seeds are better than completely raw nuts and seeds due to the activation process. These bliss balls make a great kid-friendly alternative to Christmas rum balls too. I hope you enjoy them!

INGREDIENTS (makes 12 bliss balls) • 10 slices dried mango • 2 cups shredded coconut (preservative free) • ⅓ cup pepitas (‘activated’ are best) • 10 Natural Delights Medjool dates (not to be confused with dried dates) • 2 tablespoons coconut oil METHOD 1. Tear the dried mango into quarters - this will help the food processor annihilate it further; 2. Remove and discard the seeds from the Natural Delights Medjool dates; 3. In the food processor, add the dried mango, shredded coconut,

and pepitas and blitz until a fine meal is formed; 4. Add the Natural Delights Medjool dates and the coconut oil and blitz until well combined. The mixture should easily mould when squeezed. If it feels dry, add a tiny bit more coconut oil and blitz again. Alternately, if it feels too moist, add some more shredded coconut and blitz until the perfect mouldable consistency is achieved; 5. Mould into 12 bliss balls and allow to chill for four hours.

STORAGE Keep your tropical mango bliss balls in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Cath Noonan is a self-confessed health-foodie, recipe creator, and nutrition student, as well as the founder of healthy food blog, I Heart Scratch. Check out the delicious food pics on her Instagram account, @i_heart_scratch, and find more recipes by visiting www.iheartscratch.com.au.

As we approach the end of another successful and busy year for Randwick City Council, I’d like to thank you all for your continued support as we build on Randwick City’s reputation as one of the best places in the state to live, work and play.

Council has achieved a lot in the past 12 months – we’ve completed new buildings at Coogee Beach and Kensington Park; opened up Malabar Headland for the first time in 100 years, and begun work on the Western Walking Track; we’ve taken care and control of the historic La Perouse Museum, and have plans to turn it into a facility that can be enjoyed by people of all ages; we’ve improved access to Randwick Town Hall; opened a fifth outdoor gym and flown banners on Town Hall in support of marriage equality.

Having an all-woman team at the helm is ground-breaking and is a mantle that I am incredibly proud to carry into the new year. Randwick Council is one of the most financially-sound councils in the state, and one that strives to always meet the needs of its community.

I want to wish you all a safe and Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate it. I look forward to a prosperous 2018!

Councillor Lindsay Shurey Mayor of Randwick 2 December Nursery Summer Saturday Sale 9:00am-4:00pm Randwick Community Nursery 2B Barker Street, Kingsford

17 December Coogee Carols 6:30-8:30pm Coogee Beach

12 December

15 December

Christmas Craft for Kids (YearsK-6) 3:45-4:45pm Margaret Martin Library, Randwick

20 December

Table Tennis For Fun 01:00-3:00pm Lionel Bowen Library

31 December

Library Bridge Club 1:30-3:30pm Lionel Bowen Library

1300 722 542 council@randwick.nsw.gov.au www.randwick.nsw.gov.au PHOTO: NORTH COOGEE

Coogee Sparkles 9:00pm Coogee Beach

It's hard to beat baked barra.

BAKED BARRAMUNDI WITH OLIVES, TOMATO, AND SOURDOUGH Recipe and Picture Jacqueline Alwill

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ou know the feeling; you embark on a cooking mission, only to find it doesn’t stack up to what you had imagined. Then other times you keep things chilled with the ‘I’m just gonna throw this in and that in and see how it goes’ approach, and it turns out the best.

Well, this baked barra with olives, tomatoes, and sourdough is that dish; it’s the throw-together that looks and tastes way more impressive than the time you put into it.

The key element to make that happen is your ingredients. Focus on good quality, locally sourced ingredients, and their flavours will speak for themselves. It's perfect for a family meal during the week, or to impress your mates in the summer of entertaining ahead of us.

INGREDIENTS (serves 4) • 650-700g barramundi fillets cut into 8cm long pieces • 800g truss tomatoes, roughly chopped 76 The Beast | December 2017

• 3 cloves garlic, peeled and finely sliced • 4 thick slices sourdough bread, cut into 4cm pieces • Extra virgin olive oil • Zest of 1 lemon, cheeks reserved for serving • 100g Kalamata olives • ½ cup basil leaves, roughly torn • Optional: finely sliced fresh chilli METHOD 1. Preheat the oven to 200˚C. Place tomatoes and garlic in a large baking dish, drizzle generously with extra virgin olive oil, season with sea salt and pepper, and cook in the oven for 10 minutes; 2. Toss the sourdough bread with extra olive oil, lay over another baking tray, and toast in the oven for 5 minutes or until golden; 3. Once the tomatoes have cooked, toss the lemon zest, Kalamata olives, and toasted sourdough into the dish and arrange the barramundi pieces into the ingredients; 4. Bake for 12-14 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish fillets;

5. Remove from the oven, season with black pepper, and serve with fresh basil leaves and (optional) chilli.

This delicious recipe was provided by local nutritionist and author of Seasons to Share, Jacqueline Alwill. For whole food catering, nutrition workshops, recipes, and much more, please visit www.thebrownpaperbag.com.au.

Mayor‘s Message Bike share – teething issues The introduction of the commercially run bike share, the yellow and red bikes, has not gone as well as I would have liked. The overall benefits are there but the operation needs to be improved.

Council has received reports of vandalism to the bikes. This may be a reaction by the public to the intrusion of the bikes into residential areas … or perhaps not. Council has also had complaints from residents about accumulation of bikes in public areas and, with a third bike operator potentially entering the market, this may increase.

The bike operators can distribute the bikes with limited control

by Council. They don’t need Council planning approval but we have issued guidelines and are examining legal methods to compel the bike operators to control where their bikes end up, including removing bikes blocking access to footpaths or otherwise creating a public concern.

We need to get the balance right. Dock-less bike share provides users great convenience and mobility, reduces the use of private vehicles and reduces traffic congestion.

It is our intention to create the best possible conditions for bike share to work in Waverley in a way that is safe and respects the rights of users and the community.

Skate Park reopens with Beast of Bondi I am delighted to say that the works to repair and maintain our world class Bondi Skate Park are complete and the skate park is now open for your enjoyment. To celebrate the reopening, the Bondi Skateriders Club hosted a bowl comp, Beast of Bondi on Saturday. It was a massive crowd-puller of course. Bondi Skate Park is a key social hub for the youth of Bondi so it’s great news that it’s back in our lives.

Enjoy Waverley this summer.

Events Carols by the Sea Wednesday 13 December, 5–8.30pm Bondi Park, Bondi Beach FREE Sing to your heart’s content at this year’s Carols by the Sea! Each year, this merry event brings the community together to celebrate Christmas. With children’s entertainment and carol singing, it’s a great way to celebrate the festive season.

Bring along your Christmas spirit, singing voices and a rug to sit on!

Find out more at waverley. nsw.gov.au/carolsbythesea.

New Year’s Eve at Dudley Page Reserve Sunday 31 December, 6pm–12.30am Tickets are now on sale for our family friendly New Year’s Eve at Dudley Page Reserve!

Ring in the New Year with a free jumping castle, face painting, playground, DJ, music and dancing. Book your ticket at Moshtix.

Cheers.

Find out more at waverley. nsw.gov.au/nyedudleypage.

John Wakefield, Mayor of Waverley

For more event info visit our website waverley.nsw.gov.au.

CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PhONE 9083 8000 WEB waverley.nsw.gov.au

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Just in case you didn't know it was nearly Christmas.

ALEX'S CHRISTMAS WINE BUYING GUIDE Words and Picture Alex Russell Twitter @ozwineguy

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t’s that time of year again: buying presents for everyone. It’s always bloody stressful trying to find the right present, so here are a few tips to help you along your way...

FIND OUT WHAT THEY LIKE Sure, we love to surprise someone with a gift that they weren’t expecting. But, if you’re buying someone booze, it’s generally because you know they enjoy a drink. This means that they usually have something that they prefer, or something that they don’t like.

Spouses and partners are often helpful here and may know the details, but they can also do some sleuthing and take a photo or two of the bottles in the liquor cabinet or recycling bin for you. You take those to your local liquor store and you’re sorted. And, if you’re buying something for your doctor, ask the receptionist for advice.

The more information you can get, the better. “I want to buy a bottle of red for someone,” will end up with you making a fairly safe choice that they may not like. But if you tell them, “He likes Barossa 78 The Beast | December 2017

Shiraz from boutique winemakers like Ruggabellus,” you’ll walk out with something perfectly suited.

FAMOUS LABELS VERSUS SMALL OR NEW WINERIES You can always get a famous label like Penfolds or Johnnie Walker, and they’ll often do the job, but why not try something a little more interesting?

Imagine being able to tell your recipient, “This wine is made by Sarah Crowe. She picked up the 2017 Winemaker of the Year award,” or, “This whisky is made on the Orkney Isles, where most days it’s so windy that planes get blown off the runway.” Some liquor retailers will be able to help you out with these stories. If not, Google is your friend.

FUNNY OR MEANINGFUL LABELS You can also try to find wine labels that are appropriate for the recipient. I recently completed a development course at work, run by two very dedicated senior staff members. I was in charge of getting them wine as thankyou

gifts. Drew liked his Pinot, and Lyn liked her aged reds. For Drew, I chose a bottle of Mount Difficult Pinot Noir (because completing the course was like climbing a bloody difficult mountain), and for Lyn, a bottle of 2007 Nugan ‘Matriarch’ Shiraz. There was meaning behind the names of the wines.

The wines were pretty good, too!

PRICE AND VALUE FOR MONEY I’m often asked for advice when it comes to wine as a gift. People come to me saying they have a hundred dollars or so for a present. A $100 bottle of wine is a lovely gift, but for many people it’s overkill.

So why not put together a present consisting of a couple of $50 bottles instead? Or even half a dozen $20 bottles? People tend to store special bottles for special occasions and often don’t get around to them before they spoil. Now they can think about you through six bottles, rather than just one!

Have a great break everyone, I'll catch you again next year.

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Phone 9797 7290 Mobile 0409 808 866 www.clarkremovals.com.au December 2017 | The Beast 79

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ACROSS 1. Object to hold photographs or artworks (7,5) 7. Young, famous movie actresses (8) 8. Final (3) 10. Level (4) 11. Green leaf commonly found on hamburgers and san choy bau (7) 14. Singer of ‘Sweet Caroline’ (4,7) 16. Parramatta rugby league mascot belonging to the order Anguilliformes (3) 18. Sacred; on a large scale (8) 19. Abstinence from alcohol (8) 20. Bovine creature found in Himalayas (3)

DOWN 1. Fatal epidemic disease, especially bubonic plague (10) 2. Big, hairy spider belonging to the Theraphosidae family (9) 3. Part of a fishing rod (4) 4. Closed hand, used for punching (4) 5. Nationality of Rupert Murdoch (8) 6. Old (7) 9. To exist (2) 12. Food from a particular culture (7) 13. Unpleasant odour (6) 15. Emotional media genre (5) 17. Science workshop; dog breed abbreviation (3)

TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Cameron Anderson Picture Sebastian Elmaloglou Instagram @intepic 1. True or False: In 1989 the Soviet Union traded the Pepsi Company 17 submarines, a cruiser, a frigate, and a destroyer for Pepsi to be sold in the Soviet Union, which made Pepsi the 6th largest military in the world.

2. Who was the youngest ever number 1 ranked tennis player?

Launched.

80 The Beast | December 2017

3. Based on profit on return, which 2007 movie is the most profitable film of all time?

4. Which marine animal has the largest eyes?

5. Who is Satoshi Nakamoto?

6. Which capital city has the longest name?

7. Who said “Well may we say 'God

save the Queen' - because nothing will save the Governor-General”?

8. Which suburb has Australia’s oldest Anglican girl’s school?

9. How many times did Michael Jordan retire from the NBA as a basketballer?

10. In which country was Lego founded?

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 Ignore hundreds of years of science and make important health decisions based on what your yoga teacher said during class the other day.

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 22 Save yourself at least $250 a week by getting on the fried rice rather than the Devil's dandruff - it also lasts longer and is heaps easier to get.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 Every coffee you drink during December will have something wrong with it and your days will be completely ruined.

LEO JUL 23-AUG 22 Dry your genitals properly after doing a piss or your bed will wind up smelling like the Bondi Pavilion dunnies after a busy weekend.

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 Test the resilience of your relationship by cupcaking your partner’s face with a steaming handful of fresh fart.

VIRGO AUG 23-SEP 23 A focus on personal hygiene will alleviate many of your problems. How can you expect anyone to take you seriously when you smell like a bin?

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 This will be the worst Christmas you’ve ever had - karma for being an arsehole all year. Next year will be better, if you change your ways.

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 21 Make new friends but stick to old; one is silver, the other gold. They will think that you are funny; use them all to make more money.

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 Just after you've shat and finished wiping, you’ll need to back another one out almost immediately, so delay your wipe to avoid double handling.

CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 20 Freedom of speech gives you the right to spout your opinions; fortunately, it also gives people the right to ridicule them and belittle you.

GEMINI MAY 22-JUN 21 Stop blaming Capitalism for all your woes. Of course ‘the system’ won’t work for you when you’re such a lazy sod; it's not supposed to.

SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 If you don’t have passion, then what do you have? If you don’t believe in what you're doing, how can you expect anyone else to? Be passionate!

STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell

TRIVIAL TRIVIA SOLUTIONS 1. True 2. Lleyton Hewitt 3. Paranormal Activity 4. The colossal squid 5. Creator of Bitcoin 6. Bangkok (shortened version of its 176-letter title) 7. Gough Whitlam 8. Waverley (St. Catherine’s) 9. 3 times (1993, 1998, 2003) 10. Denmark 1

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Proudly supporting

The Christmas Edition.

Lovingly & Locally Handmade.

FASHION HOMEWARES ACCESSORIES JEWELLERY BEAUTY GIFTS MUSIC Sunday 3 December, 10am - 4pm Level 1, Royal Randwick Shopping Centre

73 Belmore Road, Randwick royalrandwick.com.au/artisanmarkets @royalrandwicksc /RoyalRandwickShoppingCentre

Christmas Parties Charing Cross Dining Room Festive Menus available Open Lunch & Dinner 7 days Bookings Essential

Bookings: 9389 3093

Charing Cross Hotel: 81 Carrington Road, Waverley /charingcrosshotel