The Fashion World's Funniest Art Star

as soon as New Orleans-based artist, Ashley Longshore picks up the phone, she yells out a long bellow: “Helllooooooooo!” She sounds like a show-woman, a ring leader, or even an opera singer. However, Longshore is a pop artist, best known for her meme-like, emoji-esque paintings that tickle the funny bone.

She has painted Jesus surrounded by Louis Vuitton, Kate Moss as a nun, not to mention Abraham Lincoln in a Gucci tracksuit. Longshore’s trademark humor can be spotted a mile away – a portrait of Anna Wintour with a shirt that reads ‘Major Poontang,’ or Ruth Bader Ginsburg as a ‘Thunder Pussy.’

If ever Andy Warhol were reincarnated as a woman, it might be in Ashley Longshore.

Fun fact: For her collaboration with Judith Leiber, Longshore has designed a series of purses and compact mirrors for the boutique at Bergdorf Goodman. A few favorites are The French Fries clutch, a lemonslice pill box, a rainbow-swirl ice cream clutch, and the strawberry cupcake evening clutch with a crystal strap – a favorite of Paris Hilton.

Longshore is famed for her portrait series of the iconic Audrey Hepburn – a signature muse for the artist – which has become the cornerstone of her work. But her girl power is where Longshore really shines. The artist is fascinated with consumer culture, bling, and material possessions as a starting point for today’s power-suited businesswoman (particularly how we all show all these things off on Instagram). Look into Longshore’s paintings to find an extravagance of diamonds, champagne, and countless luxury brand names.

Did you hear? Ashley Longshore made history as the first female artist to have a solo exhibition at Bergdorf Goodman’s six-panel shop window display in New York City for her exhibition on 5th Avenue.

As she gears up for an exhibition at the Post Oak Hotel in Houston this October, Longshore chatted with TheArtGorgeous about her past, her present, and what tickles her southern soul.

The phrases of Ashley Longshore’s art come from her own inner dialogue, which ranges from ‘I cant even with this place’ to ‘front row ho.’ They’re thoughts that rattle through my head. A lot of times, I’m talking to people, or waiting to get on a plane, or even standing nude in front of a mirror. It’s my inner monologue. It reflects my optimism and my sense of humor. I take things that would make the average human cry and put my own spin on it, put it in a painting, and make money.

Business lady stats: I’ve been an artist for 24 years, I’m 32. I started selling art when I was 20. One of her favorite paintings says: ‘You don’t look fat, you look crazy.’

Favorite chick flick... Bridesmaids. Art world superhero and superheroine... Lots of women. I am inspired by women who run their own businesses, have great careers, and are also mothers. I hunt down and hoard strong, powerful women. Dating advice... Fuck them all! Honestly, millennial women are inspired to make their own money and are sexually charged. Women should have sex and not feel guilty for it. I haven’t dated in so long though, I’m married. Favorite restaurants in New Orleans... Coquette and Jack Rose. Funniest reaction you ever got to your art... When I am painting and I hear people laughing in my showroom, that makes me so happy. Like, my Welcome to the country club painting makes people howl! It’s funny, it’s honest, and it’s real. Favorite fashion designer... Dapper Dan. I was in Harlem last week meeting Dapper and his son and I bought three tracksuits. I love what he stands for. Favorite bling... My custom-designed agate stone necklace, which protects me like a shield but still makes me approachable. Zodiac sign... I’m a raging Leo, a lioness. I speak my mind. I’m honest when I’m mad, I say what I feel, and then I’m over it. Most compatible with... I’m surrounded by Pisces. Art inspiration city... I love Rome. I’m going to live in Rome. I love the history, the religious foundation, I’m so fascinated by it. My mind races when I’m in Rome. All of my senses are ignited in Rome.

Say what? Before I got really busy, I took the time to go to lunch with a group of socialite trophy wives, the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. Whenever one went to the restroom, the rest would talk so nasty about her and her husband. I literally gave myself a bladder infection, because I didn’t want to go to the washroom and have them talk behind my back like that. They complained that they were fat. They were the most beautiful women and I thought, “You’re not fat, you’re crazy.” Then I thought, “Oh God, I have to paint this.” I painted it, and it became the title of my book too. I think it’s a statement that a lot of people can relate to because the media puts so much pressure on women to look a certain way.

It’s insane to spend that much time worrying about trying to look beautiful enough.

Why the art world needs a sense of humor? I was a young girl when

I started painting. I was raised to marry a rich man, to have kids, and a beautiful house – but none of that felt right to me. I always wanted to have my own business and be an entrepreneurial American woman. I realised that my paintings were my shield, and there was a lot of strength in that. Now, thank God, other people feel so drawn to what I am saying, they share this humor and color. Being a woman in America is relatable to a lot of people.

No trust fund, no problem. When you start your career, you want everyone to notice you. My dad didn’t

write me a cheque, I didn’t marry a rich guy, I’ve been broke as hell. I’ve had to scrounge to pay the rent and I’ve painted with the power shut off. I never want to be broke again.

Every day, you have 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for working, and 8 hours for yourself.

Make sure you manage your time because, at the end of the day, you need to have time for yourself. That’s really important.

Going off on the art world. I couldn’t give a shit about the art world, they have no impact on me. It’s about my world and my vision. They’re a cynical, 50%-taking bunch of motherfuckers who can shrivel up and die like a flower in the sun. It’s important for me to honor myself and my own vision. I represent myself and the intimacy between buyer and artist is so important. I don’t care about the galleries.

On a regular day, I wear cotton shirts, Chanel pearls, and massive sunglasses.

OMG. Ashley has put Abraham Lincoln in a Gucci jumpsuit in one of her paintings.

I was thinking about presidents that I respect and I wanted to modernise them. I put one in a Supreme hoodie, so why not a Gucci jumpsuit? It’s a cool thing. Fashion is about being a peacock. Anna Wintour is the ultimate of what is and what isn’t.

How Ashley sells art to celebs like Blake Lively. They’ve all come to me naturally. New Orleans has a huge film commission, so we have lots of creative types. I have set designers and film workers as clients, and when celebrities come to shoot in New Orleans, they go shopping. I’ve always had my studio open because I’ve always wanted to share. It goes to show you, you never know who will walk in the door one day. I crave that type of experience. When I go to NYC, I ask myself, “Where are the artists?” I want to visit artists’ studios, and I’m trying to create the experience that I’m looking for in the consumer. They’re people too, they go shopping too.

One day, Salma Hayek walked into Ashley Longshore’s studio. Salma Hayek walked right into my studio. But before that, I had met her when a friend was having a birthday party and Salma was in town for a movie and she was there. She saw one of my paintings on the wall, we were introduced, and she said, “Come and paint with me tomorrow.” We painted together for eight days. Her bodyguard was there, I put together little canvases and paint, and we painted. She bought several paintings.

I say this all the time: if you’re working hard, and you’re prepared, and you’re honoring what you’re meant to put out to the world, you never know what can happen in a day. You have to put faith in the fact that a good community is around you at all times.

I love nature. As a woman with luxury items, my greatest joy is being in nature. I was in the Hampton’s surrounded by Kelly Ripa, Jane Krakowski, Sarah Jessica Parker, billionaires. I was showing them the nearby bumble bees divebombing into flowers and getting so much pollen on them that they couldn’t fly. Those kinds of things tickle my soul.

When I’m out in nature, if I put a Krispy Kreme doughnut on the front porch, a baby bear will come up and eat it – does a baby bear like doughnuts more than me? I just don’t know. I find peace in that.

If you find true bliss and happiness in nature, you can handle anything that happens to you.

Fashion is something to have fun with. One might say that a $75,000 Birkin bag is offensive, but I just think it’s ridiculously fun. I’m not going to judge people; I’m optimistic.