The Advocate Vol. 50 Issue 1 - September 18, 2014

The Independent Student Voice of Mt. Hood Community College

Sept. 18, 2014

Volume 50, Issue 1

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advocate

They should have told us PAGE 2

ASG president’s plans PAGE 3

Advice from your adviser PAGE 3

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the advocate

OPINION

September 18,2014

Editorial | Why didn’t they tell us?! and supplies with it. You can even buy food.

Even if your throbbing head thinks you’ve Who knew? However, certain types of heard it all during the eventful hoursat stuscholarships and financial aid will not dent orientationake it from us, you allow you to purchase anything besides probably haven’t. You should be tuition. excited to hear about the things You should go online to students and faculty alike kept mhccmountaincard.com a lid on. These are the things to switch the funds we wish they would have exfrom your Mountain plained when we started out at Card to your personal Mt. Hood. bank account; otherWhen registering for classes, we wise, you’ll have to pay should have been told that there are many a fee for each transaction online classes available. Taking every sinwith your Mountain Card. gle core class on campus is quite unnecesThe Financial Aid department is a sary. Perhaps with all that time saved from not being in helpful source for finding more informaclass, we could have sanely squeezed in a part-time job. tion about scholarships and financial aid, but When we did sign up for online classes, we were tempted we’re not about to wait three hours for one question. We’re to get ahead of the game. It would have been helpful to know sure you felt the same this month. If you can, hit the departthat we can’t sign into Blackboard until the term officially starts. ment a couple of weeks before the term starts. This may reKnowing that, the failure to log in wouldn’t have made us feel so quire searching for classes and figuring out finances a month stupid. That would have been nice to know, but there was still before the next term starts. It’s tedious, but procrastinating only information hiding in the dark that would have really gotten rid makes for a chaotic, head-bashing first week of school. of our anxiety.

Nearly everyone knows about the Vista dining hall, but we No one wants to pay $300-plus for books on top of paying sure wish we could have scored some grub closer to our classridiculous amounts for classes. We sure wish somebody told us that rooms. There was no need for rushing to the dining hall and photo credit: Heather Golan book hunting isn’t always necessary. We didn’t need to go through hightailing it back to the 2000s with stuff flying out of our tathe hassle of finding cheaper books if the instructor didn’t make us cos. Did you know there are several places to eat on campus? use them, anyway. The best option is to wait until the instructor informs There’s a small joint located inside the library next to the checkout, and a the class which books are really required for assignments. Instructors will St. Helens Bistro located upstairs on the upper level at the tail (north) end often give a week’s grace period to students who haven’t purchased their of the campus, near the 2500s. books yet. We learned that it’s helpful to shoot an email to the instructor a There is so much more we can enlighten you on. If you want further few weeks prior, asking if we need to purchase books. explanation on the subjects we just covered or if you need any type of adIn regards to financial aid, the money is put onto the Mountain Card, vice, don’t hesitate to read “Chat with Barney” to learn how we can easily the plastic debit card students receive in the mail. You can purchase books communicate.

Worst case scenarios Hayden Hunter Have you ever had one of those days? You know what I’m talking about, one of those days that was so biblically horrible that the Dark Ages look like a pleasant vacation. Now

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imagine experiencing that day on the first day back to school.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! A minimal amount of light flits in through my eyelids as they slowly open and close. I try discerning the numbers as they flash annoyingly. A nine, a three, and either a two or a five. My heart stops. Jumping out of bed I grab a shirt and some pants. “9:30!

9:30?,” i think to myself, “How could I sleep in until nine-thirty on the first day of school?”

My room becomes a tornado of clothes, school supplies, and a backpack somewhere.

Finally, I am presentable enough that I can

Editor-in-Chief Greg Leonov

Sports Editor Brandon Raleigh

Opinion Editor Emily Wintringham

Lifestyle Editor Jon Fuccillo

Copy Editor Hayden Hunter

Video Editor Aurora Angeles

News Editor Hayden Hunter

Ad Manager Emily Wintringham

Graphic Designer Heather Golan

Reporters Jon Fuccillo Hayden Hunter Greg Leonov Brandon Raleigh

go outside. I look back at my clock to see the numbers have tauntingly morphed to 9:47.

Damn! Only 13 minutes until my boring English professor starts my first class of the day.

I start my trek to the car by going down the stairs and notice that like usual, Oregon was pulling out all the stops for our first day back.

Not only is there rain, but it just has to be windy enough for it to lurch sideways, leaving no way to stay dry. As I hurry, my sneaker comes out from under me, making my only destination the puddle next to my front steps. I catch myself slightly on a tree next to the steps.

Advisers Howard Buck, Dan Ernst

Bob Watkins

E-mail: advocatt@mhcc.edu Phone: 503-491-7250

www.advocate-online.net #mhccadvocate

Mt. Hood Community College 26000 SE Stark Street Gresham, Oregon 97030

Chat with Barney

We’re always up for new endeavors at the Advocate. While effective communication between the press and the student community is no piece of strawberry short cake, a little ingenuity nurtures a substantial relationship.

Chat with Barney is a step up the staircase compared to our communication techniques from last year. Besides quoting what you have to say, like last year’s “Talk to Bob,” we’re offering you an invitation to ask us advice. We will respond to you. We are also open to your criticism and ideas regarding the opinion content we display in our newspaper and on the web. We’ve adopted Barney the Saint Bernard as our central icon because he is the mascot of MHCC and because we feel that Barney embodies the concept of the student voice. Therefore, Chat with Barney really is about open communication between us students. To seek our advice or to discuss our content, email us at chatwithbarney@gmail.com.

My entire right calf is soaking wet. I look up in rage: “Seriously?!”

By the time I reach my car I’m soaking. I start the ignition, my clock blinks on. “Nine minutes! Shoot!”

Worst case Continued on page 7

The Advocate encourages readers to share their opinion by letters to the editor and guest columns for publication. All submissions must be typed and include the writer’s name and contact information. Contact information will not be printed unless requested. Original copies will not be returned to the author. The Advocate will not print any unsigned submission.

Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words and guest columns should not exceed 600. The decision to publish is at the discretion of the editorial board.

The Advocate reserves the right to edit for style, punctuation, grammar and length.

Please bring submissions to The Advocate in Room 1369, or e-mail them to advocatt@mhcc.edu. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. Monday the week of publication to be considered for print.

Opinions expressed in columns, letters to the editor or advertisements are the views of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of The Advocate or MHCC.

the advocate

NEWS

September 18, 2014

Expert advice on getting aquainted with MHCC

Photo by Hayden Hunter - The Advocate

Advising staff (from left) Matt Tweedle, David Arguello, Graham Phillips, Randy Radcliff, Calvin Walker, Kim Spaulding, Rachel Campero.

Hayden Hunter The Advocate

Initially walking onto a college campus can be confusing and intimidating if you

don’t know what you’re doing, said veteran MHCC Academic Advisor Calvin Walker.

The first thing that new students at Mt. Hood should note is the improved website this year. It isn’t as easy as Google, yet the

college has worked out some of its major kinks, making it more accessible to the student body. “It’s there for the students,” said Walker.

Students should also fully utilize the “Ask Me” tables located at various locations all around campus. At the Ask Me tables you can find out anything campus related, whether it be directions to classrooms or maybe even the nearest food stop.

Every new student should go by the Orientation Center on campus at least once. “The Orientation Center is a great place for students, especially if they are seeking financial aid,” said Walker.

The center offers a wide range of aid for students, one being incoming students getting advice from current students.

Returning students can bypass the tables and welcome center altogether if they want to focus on getting prepared to transfer to a four-year college.

MHCC has a lot of different programs dedicated to helping students succeed. Pro-

grams like SOAR, AVID, Transitions, and even Transiciones for Latina women.

“At MHCC, if someone is searching for help, you’ll find it,” said Walker.

“The Orientation Center is nice, and offers some very useful things, but if a student still needs advice, we (advisers) are still here,” he said. The academic advisers are located next to the Financial Aid office.

Although all of these tools are there for students to use, they are useless if students don’t take class seriously. According to Walker, students must want to succeed if they desire a good college experience. “Set goals, make a plan to achieve those goals, and in the end just do it,” he said.

Just take school seriously, and get involved with something, he suggests: “Clubs, sports, organizations - do something.” Most of them offer help with tuition along with keeping you productive, he said.

Walker’s hope for incoming students is not only to find success, but also to actually ask just how it can be achieved.

ASG president and vice president find new ways to reach students Greg Leonov The Advocate

Throughout the summer, new ASG (Associated Student Government) president Alma Pacheco and vice president Cristian Urzua went over their campaign promises and analyzed their efforts to concretely define their goals.

Their main goal was to raise student awareness on the many opportunities Mt. Hood offers to students at all three campuses – the main Gresham campus at 26000 SE Stark St., the Maywood Park campus at 10100 N.E. Prescott St. in Portland, and The Bruning Center for Allied Health at 1484 NW Civic Drive in Gresham.

This year, ASG will have an ambassador to represent the Maywood Park campus. The ambassador position is a project the previous ASG president and vice president worked on.

Reaching out to students could be a challenge, said Pacheco. “It’s really hard because not everybody pays attention,” she said. To solve this problem, the presidential duo has decided to purchase an phone app to offer students various recourses.

The app is called OOHLALA, and offers a GPS navigation with virtual tours of the campus, with options for students to synchronize their schedules and share them with friends who also use the app.

There will be study tools with a calendar,

timers, and study tips for students. “It has other ways of how you could not procrastinate and just do the work that you’re supposed to do as a college student,” said Pacheco. She and Urzua will also team up with the student success center to have workshops on how to use the app.

Through the app, ASG has the opportunity to partner with local businesses to create a discount system for students. That would just be kind of like a ‘groupon’ added to the app,” said Pacheco.

“This is just a student life app,” said Pacheco. “There’s an Instagram type of wall that they could share pictures (with), and have a Mt. Hood life sort of thing.

“On our side, through ASG, and through anywhere on the campus, teachers, faculty, the athletics and student government can notify the students of what’s going on, let them know that we have events and things like that, and if there’s a certain event that they’re willing to go to, they can add it to their personal call calendar,” she said.

“I mean, how cool is it? A college with an app, Urzua said. “Not all colleges have an app in Oregon. We want to notify the students of when everything is happening on our campus so they’re in touch.”

Pacheco said another priority is to make sure that members of ASG know why they are in their positions.

“They’re working for the campus, they’re

working for students so they can have a better education,” she said. “I think that every year that lack of just reminding them that we’re here for a reason is always forgotten.”

The president and vice president’s relationship is more than just a working one; they are also a couple.

“The first thing that our advisers let us know is like, ‘Oh, you guys are dating. Just so you know - no office, you can’t be alone,’” said Pacheco.

“We see each other every day, we basically talk to each other every day, so we’re keeping

up,” said Urzua.

The executive couple also plans to reach out to the surrounding community to expand the presence of the college. They plan to have a committee “that creates an organized plan that we can market in certain ways and for certain people.”

This year, the ASG team is mostly new, with a few returning members. “We’re very excited with this new team,” said Pacheco. “The advisors are very proud of what we have accomplished as a team in full, and they’re very impressed on how the team is

Photo by Hayden Hunter - The Advocate

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the advocate

Sports

September 18,2014

I know all of us on that (Saints) team are deeply saddened by the loss of Matt (Hartner) and are keeping the Hartners in our thoughts and prayers.

Caitlyn McCall former Saint

Photo courtesy of Matt Hartner’s Facebook

Fallen Saint still inspires

I

It was a beautiful, crisp summer night when I approached the patio of the downtown Gresham dive, the Standing Room Only Bar & Grill. To my excitement, I saw former Saints head volleyball coach Matt Hartner.

t was always a pleasure, spontaneously running into coach Hartner, who had one lone season at the helm with MHCC, in the autumn of 2008.

He was called by many “Coach Hartner,” well deserving of that title. But once I got to know him, it was always “Matty,” and if I was lucky, Jon Fuccillo “Matty Boy,” depending on the The Advocate situation...

On cue, Matty, looked at me with his dimples sunk into his cheeks. “How are ya, bud? Long time no see!” He then shook my hand, and we spoke for close to 45 minutes, while enjoying a cold beverage or two.

Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him.

Fast-forward almost a year: Coach Hartner passed away in his sleep on Aug. 13. Cause of death: unknown.

Hartner was back in his hometown serving as an assistant varsity coach for his alma mater, Gresham High School, since 2010. The Gophers reached the 6A state playoffs every year Hartner was there, according to Todd Nagel, third-year GHS athletic director.

The news flooded my Facebook like crazy. And as a newage journalist, I went right to the web and searched long and hard to find clear evidence. Then, after confirming his death, I left him a special message and thank you via text.

Sad thing is. I won’t ever hear a physical response back, though I can picture his voice perfectly during my lone year of interviewing him in 2008, while I served as The Advocate’s sports editor.

Matty had big shoes to fill when he took over at MHCC, af-

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ter the departure of championship coach Lena Chan, who took over at Pacific University in Forest Grove –– less than 44 miles away from MHCC. Hartner was a perfect fit in the storm of replacing Chan. He was young, ambitious, seasoned and very familiar with the area.

Plus, his father Jim is and was a fixture in the local volleyball community. And Matty always expressed, and never denied, trying to follow in the footsteps of his father. Maybe, add a little twist of his own.

And yet... 2008 was a disaster for Hartner and the Saints volleyball program. Especially if you knew the history and recent championships that MHCC had won prior to his arrival. Plus, Matty was not only trying to fill big shoes, he was also trying to win matches with the dismal talent that he had, due to too-little recruiting time.

Fair enough. The team finished the season 1-9 in the Southern Region of the NWAACC league, and 8-26 overall.

Hartner stepped down from MHCC after just that one season with the Saints. He joined his former college, the University of Oregon, as an assistant coach and director of volleyball operations for the Ducks and veteran head coach Jim Moore.

“It was tough coming into the program because when I previously was at UO, I had a support staff,” Hartner told me in a April 3, 2009, interview for The Advocate. “Here at MHCC everything was put on my shoulders. You have to do everything for your program here,” he explained.

It was a punchbowl of a season. Lack of chemistry and new coaching wasn’t mixing, though all the gals loved to play for Hartner and respected his background and passion for the sport.

Former Saint Caitlyn McCall, who happen to graduate from Gresham HS and played for Hartner in 2008, said she’s known

Hartner since second grade. She also played with Nike NW Juniors in the fifth grade, for Jim Hartner.

“Matt was always a goofball,” McCall said following the sad news. “He was always doing something ridiculous with a smile on his face.”

She couldn’t have nailed it any better. Matty was always smiling!

“Even though we faced some struggles (record-wise) on the court, Matt always showed up wanting to improve and enjoy playing the sport we all loved,” McCall continued. “It’s rare to find a person that can connect and inspire so many different personalities, background(s) and especially when the odds aren’t in your favor, but Matt found a way do it with that team that year.

“I know all of us on that (Saints) team are deeply saddened by the loss of Matt and are keeping the Hartners in our thoughts and prayers.”

Matty’s heart was always fully into everything, whether it was discussing sports or politics. He was a very bright guy with a high IQ in volleyball.

His legacy will be missed.

“As an assistant, he did so many administrative things that helped both me and Lori (Anderson-Cook), our head coach” at Gresham, Nagel said of Hartner. “He was great with the kids and would have been a good coach himself someday soon, had he wanted to be.”

Nagel added, “I think from the outpouring of emotion following his death that we can all see the impact he made on those around himself, myself included.”

Touche!

R.I.P. “Matty Boy.”

the advocate

SPORTS

September 18,2014

Saints begin journey under new coach I have a way of getting athletes to work hard because they want to work hard opposed to working hard for me.

Andrew Clifton

web photo

The Advocate – file photo

Andrew Clifton, left, steps in as new Mt. Hood volleyball head coach this season. He hopes to sustain the Saints’ strong run of success that includes five straight Southern Region titles.

L

ast winter, highly successful head volleyball coach Chelsie Speer decided to move on to coach and teach at Walla Walla Community College. After conducting a national search, Mt. Hood found a new coach by the name of Andrew Clifton, who sat for an interview with The Advocate this week.

Coach Clifton arrives with an extensive background in the game of volleyball, seeing it from all sides and learning at each stop.

Brandon Raleigh He began playing his freshThe Advocate man year in high school on local beaches in sunny Southern California. By his sophomore year, he was on the school’s varsity team, additionally playing club ball on the side.

He began his collegiate volleyball career at a local junior college, Orange Coast College, in Orange County. But Orange Coast later cut him after the preseason. Soon after, Clifton joined Irvine Valley College where he redshirted his first year.

During that redshirt year, his coach handed him a clipboard to work on tendencies, a method used to chart the other team’s offensive strategies. The experience would really help him later in his coaching career, he said.

Clifton went on to win team MVP and All-Conference Honors. He was a force on the defensive end, leading the team in digs.

He then transferred to UC Irvine, where he played background specialist for two years under distinguished coach and California volleyball “legend” Charlie Brande. During his senior year at UC Irvine, the Anteaters were top ten in the nation for multiple weeks.

Clifton fondly recalled the experience of playing under Brande.

“My coach Charlie would talk shop with me all the time,” he said. “So, like after a match if we just played Santa Barbara and we would get in the van, he would request me to be in his van.

And he would just ask me questions, ‘Well, what do you think?

What do you think happened?’ ” Clifton continued, “Throughout my playing career I got a lot of experience coaching and I got a lot of experience being tutored by some really good college coaches at the same time.”

Following his playing career, Clifton decided to get into the club volleyball scene. He joined a boys volleyball club where he spent time as director and assistant director. During his time, the club won a silver and bronze medal at Junior Nationals.

He also spent time in the boy’s high school volleyball game coaching a high school team in Irvine. One year, his program was ranked top ten in the country by Volleyball Magazine.

Clifton then decided to switch his focus to women’s volleyball, due to the lack of opportunities in men’s volleyball. He opened his own volleyball club, by the name of “Roots,” in Long Beach.

After three years with the club, Clifton departed for an assistant coaching job at Cal State Monterey Bay. “I did everything from scouting, to coaching, to washing uniforms; it was pretty much everything that I could do, I would do,” he said.

“Got a lot of my experience there.”

Following his time at Cal State Monterey Bay, Clifton was invited to help at the University of Portland volleyball camp.

After three days at the camp, he was hired on as assistant coach for Portland.

The University of Portland later let the head coach go, and that’s where Mt. Hood came in. Clifton had only been in Portland for six months and didn’t want to just up and leave. He learned of the head coach opening at Mt. Hood and didn’t let the opportunity to be head coach pass him by.

Clifton said he has a unique style of coaching. “I approach the game a little differently than other coaches do,” he said. “I’m really specific about my techniques and my systems. I have a way of getting athletes to work hard because they want to work hard opposed to working hard for me. I create an atmosphere that is difficult and challenging but yet safe.”

He continued, “I think that I teach the game in a way that players become their own players. They learn to think for

themselves on the court. One of the things that I try to do is get the players to understand the game well enough where they make the changes strategically on their own. And that takes some time.”

The Saints finished out preseason play this past weekend.

Clifton is not worried about their record of (5-11) through the first 16 games. He discussed how teams tend to struggle early, going through the “learning process,” and he is okay with that.

He has mastered how to get his teams playing their best at the end, he said.

Clifton’s mission while at the helm of Mt. Hood is to produce a winning program that improves every day, he said. Getting better every day seems to be the theme of the season; he speaks on the importance of enjoying the journey and focusing on each step of the way.

He would like to build a program that’s known for the level of volleyball and the volleyball knowledge that players have.

High graduation rates and the top GPA in the NWAC (Northwest Athletic Conference) are also focuses, he said.

After three weeks of preseason play, Clifton has good things to say about this year’s squad.

“We got some good leadership from Shea Lindsey. And we’ve gotten some really good play from freshman Jessica Pedro,” he said. “Ashton Smedley has been doing really well lately, too, but like I said it’s really hard to pinpoint one (standout player). That’s the beautiful thing about this squad, is there’s not really one person that anyone can key in on.”

Clifton continued, “We don’t have that LeBron James/Michael Jordan type player. It’s more like a San Antonio Spurs type of team where we can beat you in the middle, on the right, on the left, it just depends on where our matchups are going to be.

“Every day they all step up together,” he said.

When he’s not coaching, Clifton is a self-described “volleyball nerd.” He spends a good bit of his free time watching collegiate volleyball matches and YouTube clips on the game. He also enjoys exploring and sightseeing, and he and his wife, Lisa, take their dog, Toby, on walks through trails in North Portland.

Look for next week as we preview Saints Volleyball and Cross Country and catch up on team results.

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the advocate

News

September 18,2014

Leaking pipes lead to discovery of asbestos Hayden Hunter The Advocate

Leaking pipes in the Vista Dining Center led Mt. Hood’s facilities personnel to the discovery of asbestos in ceilings over the Student Union this summer.

The facilities department replaced all of the piping in Vista during the summer, for the first time since the campus opened.

The aging pipes are over 50 years old and haven’t been cleaned. “Fifty years of crud is just sitting in those pipes,” said Richard Byers, Mt. Hood’s facilities manager.

Byers hired a construction team to undertake the

task in mid-July, after the crew went through a bidding process and met MHCC’s working parameters.

While redoing the pipes, the crew noticed the asbestos in the ceiling. Asbestos is a mineral often used in building construction for its heat and fire resistant properties, but also is dangerous because it can flake off and be inhaled, causing lung cancer and mesothelioma.

For that reason, the construction crews also replaced the ceiling before school started. Mt. Hood workers also pitched in. They finished up the floors, and “facilities staff oversaw the contractors as well as painted spots in the ASG (office),” said Byers.

The entire project cost more than $100,000 and took two months to finish.

Welcome Day tours begin Welcome Day tours are scheduled to be given today, from 9:50 to 10:50 a.m. and from 11 a.m. to noon.

Students and faculty will assist in leading the tours. Most student tour guides are part of MHCC leadership programs. “Everybody from SOAR, SEED, and ASG are here to help,” said Sydney Frost, SOAR team leader and manager for recruitment, orientation & testing.

Paris Norris, director of public safety and campus stabilization, an ASG team leader who originally came from SOAR, said the tours are “the first steps that help a student realize that they want to go here.”

Frost said the SOAR team was already teaching people how to give tours, so taking on the Welcome Day tour duty was only natural.

Skye Troy, director of state and federal affairs, said the tours provide “a great opportunity to highlight valuable resources on campus and allow students to get involved with the community.”

While these tours are meant to showcase the campus for incoming students, Frost likes to do it for a different reason.

“The first day of school can be daunting to a lot of people. We (tour guides) are hoping to ease those tensions in advance,” she said.

Photo by Hayden Hunter - The Advocate

A cross section of crud filled piping removed from the Vista Dining Center.

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the advocate

LIFESTYLE

September 18,2014

‘A Most Wanted Man’ is a must-see thriller Jon Fuccillo

The Advocate

Though movie snobs will argue that the late and great Philip Seymour Hoffman will appear in the supporting cast of the next Hunger Games (BIG DEAL…), but Hoffman, who overdosed on what they are calling, “combined drug intoxication” aka a kind way of saying Overdose, on Feb. 2 – played his last major lead role in A Most Wanted Man that hit theaters late in the summer.

It was actually a bit distracting to say the lease (in a great way), knowing that the former Academy Award winner for Best Actor in the 2005 masterpiece Capote was gone from this earth.

I tried to pinch myself a time or two throughout the movie – knowing that one of the greatest actors of our generation was now lost to this world that we all take for granted from time to time. Guilty as charged!

Never have I seen, well at least not in a while – a man (Seymour Hoffman), who plays Gunther Bachmann, a German intelligence operative, who quite literally smokes a cigarette and or has a nice cocktail or two – mainly straight whiskey whenever he gets the chance.

Since 9/11, Gunther has been heading a tiny group that tracks the Muslim’s population’s every move in the shit-hole that is Hamburg, where the attack on America happened based on the epic spy thriller, based on John le Carre’s 2008 novel – with the same title. Fittingly, this shit-hole of a town seems to capture Gunther’s bland, yet kickass character.

There is a certain aura that surrounds the fare skinned, overweight redhead, who knocked the German accident out of the park. This movie cries for Seymour Hoffman’s attention. Again, it’s quite distracting, but in the theater world – he lives to see another day!

The film stars others such as Rachel McAdams (Annabel Richter), Willem Dofoe (Tommy Brue), Robin Wright (Martha Sullivan), Daniel Bruhl (Max), Nina Hoss (Erna Frey) and Grigoriy Dobygin (Issa Karpov).

This was a wild chase of a thriller, with one off the wall moment after another.

If you like, liked and or plan on liking Seymour Hoffman. This is a great flick to see sometime sooner than later.

Enjoy the trill. I tried not giving you (the reader) too much info.

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Worst case Continued from page 2

...a trail worse than bread crumbs Speeding to the college, I choose to bypass a few pesky lights and keep heading up Glisan. Praying for the cops to be on a donut break, I press the gas pedal a little further.

I check the clock as I’m forced to a stop at a red light: six minutes, “I just might make it.” That’s when I see the lights. These red and blue lights might as well have drivenv straight out of a M. Night Shyamalan movie. I look to my right and see Reynolds High and inwardly curse myself as my forehead slumps to my wheel.

Thirty minutes later, after a breathalyzer –– at 10 a.m.(!) I might add–– touching my nose while hopping on one foot, and the ohso-classic walk in a straight line, the

officer finds me to not be intoxicated (shocker). But I still get the silver medal, a whopper of a speeding ticket.

Now, at this point most people just might go home back to bed, but most people don’t have the determination of a fighting bull. I try to embrace my inner ninja as I slowly creep into my English class. In my adrenaline induced sneakiness, I hear my professor say something that sounds like a cross between pig latin and gibberish. However, it doesn’t sound like my name, so I dismiss it, continuing to an open seat. I leave a trail worse than bread crumbs with my puddle-soaked pant leg, making the two people I pass grimace up at me. As I finally

take my seat, I take out my notebook and exhale a sigh of relief. Then I notice it, the deafening silence that feels all encompassing sitting in the back of the class. I dread looking up.

As my gaze rises the classroom fully comes into view.

I immediately realize the mistake I had made. First of all, my professor was, in fact, speaking to me and it iss all too evident now that he was not speaking in gibberish. My head falls to my desk as I realize that everybody in the class is looking at me, waiting for my next move. All I could do was repeat the name on the whiteboard in my head with increasing dread. Hoping, praying, Mr. Takashimora was an English teacher.

7

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September 18,2014

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