CELEBRATIONS

Ten years and counting

Active magazine is celebrating a big milestone this month!

IT’S OFFICIAL, We are 10 years old this month! And I’m delighted to say that after ten years we are still going strong and are well known in the area as o ering good interesting editorial in a well designed magazine that is also full of advertising from local businesses; all of which we are extremely proud of. nitially launched to tie in with the ondon lympics Active quickly became established and very popular in the Stamford and utland area and rightly so cti e initially was very much a sports and leisure magazine telling you about all the local sports and encouraging you to get up o the sofa and ust have a go. hat is still our mantra today but we are no longer ust about local sport although of course that is still included as it s such a huge part of our community nor are we ust Stamford and utland but extend the whole of the way through the Welland Valley to arket arborough and beyond Since taking on the maga ine ust over three years ago we have moved it on to be a lifestyle and wellbeing maga ine focusing on local people and businesses as there are so many interesting people in our community along with healthy living and lifestyles and everything that this incorporates. ur mantra is get out there ha e a go and oin in ife now is rightly putting more emphasis on maintaining our mental health and wellbeing and that can be done simply by going out for a walk and en oying the fresh air and e ercise nd we are proud that as well as taking the maga ine from strength to strength we ha e published two walking books featuring the ever popular Will’s Walks and there’s another one in the pipeline for this autumn. e ha e all en oyed meeting so many people trying new experiences and becoming a part of the community. Thank you to all our ad ertisers and supporters and especially to you our readers who I know look forward to picking up your free copy every month. Here’s to the next 10 years!

THE ONE CERTAINTY IN LIFE

The one certainty in life is death. One day we will die. Normally we don’t know when that day will be, but it comes to all of us. What happens then? Kate finds out more

IMET EDDIE Dorman and Margaret Dainty from E M orman uneral irectors in ppingham to find out what happens when a relative or friend dies. There are numerous things to organise at a time when, understandably, we are devastated and not thinking clearly. Unless you have, sadly, been through it before, organising a funeral can be a minefield of decisions to make. e meet the relati es in the first instance to go through the details of what they would like to happen and to give them options argaret told me t s ery di cult for people who have lost relatives, especially if they have no idea what that person would have wanted at their funeral. It’s a big thing to choose for another person, especially something as important as the choice between a burial or a cremation.’

Eddie and Margaret both agree that it’s much kinder to your family if you make your wishes known beforehand if possible. It doesn’t have to be written down in a will, some basic instructions on a piece of paper will be helpful. In many countries, death and dying are not the taboo subjects they now seem to be in the UK. But things used to be ery di erent istorically there was an undertaker in each village who was normally the local carpenter. When someone died their body remained at home far longer than they do now and half the village trooped in to pay their respects. Perhaps we prefer things to be more sanitised nowadays?

Eddie was, indeed, a carpenter and thirty years ago he was approached by the local funeral director and asked to take over his business. Fortunately, he agreed and has been a stalwart at thousands of local funerals ever since. In recent years he’s been joined by Tom Johnson, a young local man and, together with Margaret, they provide a welcoming and friendly first port of call in a time of great distress. eryone deser es a good send o ddie says e get to know people very quickly and they need lots of support and compassion.’

‘It comes naturally to the three of us,’ Margaret agrees. ‘It’s not forced, or a ‘job’. It helps if you also have a sense of humour.

‘If someone dies at home the family will phone to inform us and we fill in a first call form with general details ur phone line is open 24 hours a day. Then we go to collect the body and transfer them to our chapel of rest at our premises in Uppingham. Generally, people prefer for the body to be moved quite soon although sometimes they like to wait for a relative to arrive who lives away. It’s always the same day though. If someone dies away from home we will go and collect the body for the family. We are occasionally asked to take someone to rest at home the evening before the funeral. When people are particularly religious the body may be taken into church the night before by the bearers.

‘If someone has died in hospital a Cause of Death certificate is signed by the doctor who attended and looked after the deceased, then the family has to make an appointment with the registrar to register the death before we can do anything as we need a green form to enable us to proceed nce that is done the body is released to us f there is to be a cremation, we also need the cremation papers signing.’

There is no set time between the death and the funeral. In general, the funeral is held within two to three weeks, but it can be longer if the family wish to avoid a birthday or anniversary, and some religions like their funerals to take place very quickly. Timing also depends on the availability of crematoriums, vicars, catering etc. ‘It is a jigsaw and we take the responsibility from families to ensure everything fits ccording to ddie we were ery fortunate in Rutland regarding the pandemic, and it hasn’t been as bad as we feared it might be.’

‘If someone dies at home the family will phone to inform us and we fill in a first call form with general details. Our phone line is open 24 hours a day.’

I wondered if more people are cremated than buried nowadays? ‘Probably,’ Margaret agrees, ‘but there are still quite a few burials, often when someone has requested to be buried next to a partner. Crematoriums are not very green and we don’t have the space now to bury everyone. You can have your ashes interred at the green burial site in Ketton or have a plot reserved there. Generally people still go for the standard oak eneer co n as they are the most economical but they are not permitted at an eco burial so people then choose willow or wicker.’

There are so many options to choose from regarding a funeral. You can have a church service and be buried in the churchyard or go to the crematorium for the committal of the body. Or the other way round. It could be church only. Or crematorium only – with a vicar, celebrant or humanist attending. There may be a graveside service or a green burial.

‘Occasionally we’ve had families who have no celebrants at all, perhaps the son or daughter speaks,’ says Margaret. ‘And there are direct cremations where nobody goes as some people require no fuss at all. We’ve also arranged direct cremations as there’s been no family to pay for a funeral so the council arranges the funeral. In each case we show the same respect to the person as if we had all the relatives there.’ f people can t a ord to pay for a funeral they can apply to the government for assistance, and potentially may receive a Funeral Expenses Payment which helps pay for burial or cremation fees, travel to and from the funeral, death certificates and so on

Babies and childrens’ funerals are provided by Eddie at a minimal cost.

Funerals can be expensive. Fees for the funeral director include the preparation of the body, the bearers, the hearse and the co n here are also the owers to take into consideration, refreshments after the service, printed orders of service. People sometimes wish to have bells. Then there’s the church or crematorium fees to pay.

Many people plan ahead so they know they have covered the cost of their own funeral and don’t, therefore, leave it for relatives to pay for as well as organise. Dormans use the Golden Charter plan but there are other schemes. The Golden Charter plan grows over time as funds are put into trust.

Nothing is left to chance. Eddie, Tom and Margaret are very experienced and have seen everything. They are far too professional to divulge too many details but they did tell me that many people, whether religious or not, like to include the Lord’s Prayer ‘just in case.’ The most common hymns are All Things Bright and Beautiful and The Lord is My Shepherd. My Way is a common choice to walk in or out to and often people are more adventurous at a crematorium. Many relatives request that mourners wear bright colours, not black, but most men would still wear a black tie.

‘I have never had a problem talking about death myself,’ Margaret says. ‘I think the more we are all able to discuss what we would like for our own funerals, the easier it will be for those left behind as they know they are fulfilling the final wishes of their lo ed ones