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The Accursed Mountebanks vol. 2 #2

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o o k s e x c AT i t i n g , d a o e n s n n ’ t i e t ?T rd h ec a r e r wo k ft l h yL e T r e k s h i p Ge n t r i f i z eh a v i n gas h o w d o w n w i t h o r . . . p l a n t r o b o t ?We l l , i t s u r e w a s . A c o u p l e o f A no d d l yp l a c e dR o c k y c r e wm e m b e r s d i e d . I t w a s as p e c t a c l e .

u t , t h i s i s n ’ t as t o r ya b o u t t h a t b a t t l e . T h i s a n db u l l wi n k l er e f e r e n c eB i s as t o r ya b o u t w h a t h a p p e n e da f t e rt h e b a t t l e . T h i s i s as t o r ya b o a r dt h eT r e k s h i p Ge n t r i f i z e . L e t ’ s c u t t oi t , s h a l l w e ?

T h eA c c u r s e dMo u n t e b a n k si sawe e k l yc o me d yz i n e , b r o u g h t t oy o ub yn oo n ea n df e a t u r i n gn o t h i n g . T h ee f f o r t p u t i n t ot h i sz i n ei smi n i ma l , a t b e s t . T h eh u mo r i sj u v e n i a l a n dt h ewr i t e r e v e nh a dt ol o o ku p h o wt os p e l l t h ewo r d“ j u v e n i l e , ” s owe ’ r en o t d e a l i n gwi t hp r o f e s s i o n a l s , h e r e . We ’ r ed e a l i n gwi t hav e r y b o r e da n dp o i n t l e s si ma g i n a t i o no ny o u rs t a n d a r d ,e v e r y d a yc o me d yn e r d . T h ewr i t e r ’ sf a v o r i t e e p i s o d eo fMo n t yP y t h o n ’ sF l y i n gCi r c u si s“ Mi c h a e l E l l i s . ”S e e ?T h ed u d en o t o n l y h a s a f a v o r i t e o f Mo n t yP y t h o n , h ek n o wst h en a meo f t h ee p i s o d e , A NDi t ’ so n eo f t h emo r eo b s c u r eo n e s , b e c a u s e n o n eo ft h ewe l lk n o wns k e t c h e sa r ei n v o l v e d . Y o uk n o w,l i k eDe a dP a r r o to rCh e e s eS h o po r L u mb e r j a c kS o n g . A n d . . . we l l , t h o s ea r et h emo s t we l l k n o wno n e s , I g u e s s . T h eR o y a l S o c i e t y f o r P u t t i n g T h i n g so nt o po f o t h e rt h i n g si sa l s oar e a l l yf u n n ys k e t c h , b u t i t ’ sn o wh e r en e a r a s w e l l k n o w n a s t h e o t h e r e s . T h ewr i t e r wo u l da l s ol i k ei t k n o wnt h a t h et a k e st h ef a c t t h a t Mo n t yP y t h o na n dt h eHo l yGr a i l I S , i nf a c t , s u p e r h i l a r i o u s , b u t wh e nt a l k i n ga b o u t Mo n t yP y t h o n , h ef e e l st h a t t h ef a c t t h a t i t ’ st h eb e s t t h i n gt h e yd i ds h o u l db et a k e na sag i v e n . Hewo u l dr a t h e rd i s c u s st h eT Vs h o w o r “ T h e M e a n i n g o f L i f e , ” wh i c h , wi t ha l l i t ’ sf l a ws , i sh i sf a v o r i t eMo n t yP y t h o nt h i n g . We ’ v ea s k e dt h ewr i t e r t os t o pt a l k i n g a b o u t Mo n t yP y t h o n , b u t h ej u s t wo n ’ t . I t ’ s . . . al i t t l et e d i o u s . B u t , wed o n ’ t p a yh i m, s owej u s t k i n do f l e t h i md oa sh ep l e a s e s . Wer e a l l yh o p et h i si s s u ed o e s n ’ t h a v et o oma n yMo n t yP y t h o n r e f e r e n c e s , b u t wec a n ’ tp r o mi s ea n y t h i n g . He ’ st r i c k e du sb e f o r e , a n dd a r e I s a y , h e ’ l l t r i c ku s a g a i n . W e ’ r e n o t v e r y a t t e n t i v ea n dh e ’ sp e r s i s t e n t . S o , s i t b a c k , a n de n j o yT r e kS t a r . Or d o n ’ t . L i k eI s a i d , t h i swa sp o o r l yma d e .


e iz r t n pGe i h s k e r eT h T e h ht g u o r h st d e e p s r o gf n i h c r a e s , e s r e v i n u t ’ n o td a h st e i x a l a g n ea v a yh l t n e r r u c , p o h ts u n o d l a n i s i t r a n o i s s mi r a e y e hav t i w me o ps di n ya u ob t . y x a l a dg i a ns si e s u o h ! ! ! r a t kS e r sT si i h T

t ’ n o d I , h w Y o a h e ss ’ d a r B , n ’ p a C o t g n i o g e m h ’ I T . k r u n i o h nh t na si t r a t s g i tab o mn a g ’ h I p . l o nA si ei u n e v . n a af k s . a t e b t n e C

e i s a tB n u o ?C t h g , Ri e l b a d n a t s r e d Un s i h l l sa t n a dw n da e l l a nc sa ai k S . n ’ p a C s n r o h d e n m a d d o g l a c i s mu r o i r e f n i tme e tg ’ n o D . k c a b m. r o tf r a t n e w I , h c u a r p gS n o r w . e s a h ap k has g u o r h t

d1995. e l l a sc a tw I . n ’ p a C , d i d l l Wea e n yo r e v de e t r o p p u ss a dh a r B , r e v e w Ho n r a B e h T t a s c i m n e p o p u d n a t s r u o y f o . e l b i r r e et r ea s o h dt n a , r mme a l S

, g n i e tb n e P i o c n o I . n ’ p a C , e r ya e h T d l u o h es .C w , k n ’ n p i a r nmyd ei o dat n u o f . d a r B t r o p y p u n s a h t i ew n oo dn n A ! p su w o h ts n e l a t


h i ss h C a p ’ n , I h a v eo b t a i n e dT o u l db e o o dC a ac o p yo f B r a d ’ s g p ’ n . I ’ v e e e nt h b a n d ’ sd e mo . I ’ m s e ml i v ea e wt i me p u i n gi tu po nt h e f s . T h e y s k ai tu s t e r e on o w . pg o o d .

C h i l l o u t , C a p ’ n . I H ei s . B u tS k a t h o u g h tB r a dw a s i sn of r i e n dt o y o u r f r i e n d . me .

. h c u a r p S , e e s l l a h Wes

WeGE TI T , C a p ’ n . Y o ud o n ’ tl i k es k a ! S o meo f u sL OV Es k a , a n dw el o v eB r a d a n dw el o v eB r a d ’ sb a n d . S o , j u s tc h i l l t h eh e l l o u t , d u d e ! S c o t c h y , p l e a s ep l a y t r a c ks i x o fft h ed e mo . I t ’ smyf a v o r i t e . We ’ l l s k a n k‘ t i l o u r f e e tb l e e d !

A n ds ot h e yw e r e ! Ri g h ti n t o t h eC h e c k e r Ga l a x yt h e yg o . T h e C h e c k e r Ga l a x y , h o met ot h e S k a v i a n s !

T h ep o w e r o f t h eh o r n s i sb l o w i n gu sb a c k ! S c o t c h y , w h a t ’ s h a p p e n i n g ? !

We ’ r eb e i n g s u c k e di n t o t h ec h e c k e r g a l a x y !


o eg l p o e ep r e Wh . y x a l Ga r e k c e h eC h T . e v a ec h nt si k c i tk s e l o o ec h tt e og t e iz r t n pGe i h s k e r eT h t f wo e r ec h T y e h st s e l , y x a l a wg e sn i h st s o r c da e e p s . w o h ss ’ d n a sb ’ d a r sB s mi

e h h t f meo o eh h T e r ma t h g i san si i e T h T . s n a i v a k S h c i h w f o s e k i l e h t !I ! ! a k s f eo c a l p h t r i b . n w o n k r e v e en v a h

r u o ey k i tl ’ n o d I . h c u a r p S , e d u t i a

t u b , s a e ep k i tl ’ n o d I m e h et v r e s l l i t ys e h t . l l a sh s eme h nt i

g n i e mg ’ I ! n ’ p a C , ’ n i h c t i b r u o ty i Qu t s u sj ’ t e L ! e d u t i a r u o y f do e r i t s s e n d kMa s da n na w o od g . me o kh c a tb e og wt o h

H! A E n HE SY o i t L n L eme n o me o ds i D d e h s gmy Ma n i x emi k i l ?I s a e p e r sa e o t a t hmy p a t i e pw su a e p e t u l o s b ! mya s e o t a t o dp e h s ma e l b b Go ! v a f ! e l b b o eg l b b o g


T h eT r e k s h i pGe n t r iz et a l k e da b o u t I d o n ’ tw a n tt ot a l k p e a sf o r , l i k e , s i x h o u r s . I tw a st h e a b o u tp e a sa n y m o r e , d a mn e d e s tt h i n gt h i sn a r r a t o r h a s y ’ a l l ! e v e r s e e n . T h e n , s u d d e n l y . . .

Wh a t ? ! Wh yn o t ?

I ’ l l r B e c a u s ei t ’ s e mi n d o ut h a t as t u p i dw a s t e y I ’ m t h e o f o u r t i me . P e a s Ca p ’ n ! a r es t u p i d . Y O Ua r es t u p i d !

J u s tal i l ew h i l el a t e r , t h ec r e ws e l e s d o w nt ow a t c hT h eWi r e . I h a t e“ T h e Wi r e . ” Y o u ’ r et h eo n l yw h i t e p e r s o nI ’ v eme tw h o h a t e s“ T h eWi r e . ”

C a n ’ t I ’ L Lr e mi n dY O U o n ’ tc a r e . c a r e . t h a tB r a d ’ s D b a n d ’ ss h o w w a sh o u r sa g o .

I d o n ’ ts e ew h a t r a c eh a st od o w i t hi t .

B e c a u s e y o u ’ r ew h i t e .


S oe n d st h i sw e e k ’ sa d v e n t u r e so ft h eT r e k s h i pGe n t r iz e .T h e yd i d n ’ tr e a l l yg e tt oa n y g e n t r ic a t i o n , n o r d i dt h e y s e e B r a d ’ sb a n d ’ ss h o w . I t w e n t o k a y , b y t h e w a y . T h e c r o w dw a so n l y a b o u t h a l ff u l l , b u tt h e yp u l l e di nh a l ft h ed o o ra n dd r a n kt h e i rw e i g h ti nh a l f p r i c e db o o z e . T w oo ft h e t r u mp e tp l a y e r sg o tl a i d ! A l l i n a l l , i tw a sas u c c e s s f u l s k an i g h t . A n dw h a to ft h ec r e wo ft h e T r e k s h i pGe n t r iz e ?Wh oc a r e s ! ?T h e y ’ r e b o r i n g . T h e y t a l k e da b o u t p e a sF O RE V E R! I h o p e s o me t h i n g c o o l h a p p e n sn e x t w e e k . I t ’ sap r e y b i gb u mme r t ob e t h e n a r r a t o r f o r as t o r y a b o u t ab u n c ho f w h i t e d u d e sa r g u i n ga b o u tmu s i ca n df o o d . I l o n gf o r t h ed a y sw h e nI c a nn a r r a t ef o r S p i d e r Ma no r P e t e r P a r k e r . I ’ de v e nt a k eB e nRe i l l y . B u tt h e s ec h u mp s ?T h e yc a nk i c kr o c k s . T u n ei nn e x tt i mef o rt h e a d v e n t u r e so f . . .

T h eT r e k s h i pGe n t r iz eb e a msu p an e wt e a mo f w r i t e r sf o r n e x tw e e k .

I BST el ev i s i onRadi o. * br r r ap*DamnI BS.


NE XTWE E K. . .

J OKE S


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