The Accursed Mountebanks Monthly October 2018

T H E A C C U R S E D M O U N T E B A N K S m o n t h l y

october 201 8

Wel comet o COMEDYHOUSE!

Ahoyandhel l o !Wel c omet oComedyHous e!I t ’ swher ec omedy happens !I t ’ sav er ys i mpl ef or mul a,yous ee!Someonec hec ksi n t o ComedyHous e!Some t hi ngwei r dbu tf unnyhappensi nComedy Hous e!F adet obl ac k!St ar tal lov eragai n!ComedyHous e!Wi l li tbe you,Mi c haelEs t es ,t heownerandoper a t oro fEs t esF or d,Li nc o l n andMer c ur y? !Y ous el ll uxur yc ar sa tadi s c oun tpr i c e,bu tc anyou wal kawayf r om t hebi zar r ehumoro fComedyHous e! ?How abou t you,Mi c hel l eDunphy ,wai t r es sandpar tt i mes c ul p t or ! ?Y oumay hav ec r ea t edt hes t a t ueou t s i deo fCi t yHal l ,bu tc anyous c ul p ta wayou to fComedyHous e? !

T ur nsou tt heans wert oal lo ft ho s eques t i onsi s , “ y es ! ” So ,hur r ayf orComedyHous ef orgues s i ngs oc or r ec t l y!

Mi c haelandMi c hel l e,who s enamesar es os i mi l ar ,I ’ m now wi s hi ngI hadc ho s endi f f er en tones ,c hec ki n t oComedyHous ewi t hhopeso f f unandgi ggl es !Theydon ’ tknow eac ho t her ,i t ’ sj us tac oi nc i denc e t ha tt heyar r i v ea tt hes amet i me!Theybo t hmi l labou ti nt he l o bby ,asdes ks erv i c ea tComedyHous ei sEXTREMEL Ys l ow!We onl yhav eoneo l dmanbehi ndt hec oun t er !Hel i k est opl ays o l i t ai r e i nbac k,andj us thast hehar des tt i mehear i ngt ha tl i t t l ebel lt ha t peopl edi ngt oge ts erv i c ea tt heFRONTDESKOFCOMEDYHOUSE! Whi l ewai t i ngar oundf orTheOl dMant oc omet ot hef r on tdes k, t het wohav eadel i gh t f ulc onv er s a t i on!I tt ur nsou tMi c haelwas ont hec ommi t t eet ha tc ho s eMi c hel l et omak et hes c ul p t ur et hey pu tupi nf r on to fCi t yHal l !I nal lac t ual i t y ,t heywer egoi ngt o pi c kheranyway ,bu tMi c haelpr e t endst ha thewast hedec i di ng v o t e!Thi shasendear edhi ms el ft oMi c hel l e!

Theyt al kabi tmor eabou tt hi s ,t ha t ,andt ’ o t hert hi ng !I t ’ sno t s uperi mpor t an twha tt heyt al k edabou t !Thepoi n ti st ha tt hey c onnec t ,whi c hi sauni ques ens a t i oni nmoder ndays oc i e t y!Anyway , Mi c haelt ur nst or i ngt hedes kbel lt oa t t emp tt os ummonTheOl d Managai nands l i psonabananapeel !

COMEDYHOUSE! Mi c haelf al l sf l a tonhi st ai l bone,s ev er el ybr ui s i ngi t !He’ sgoi ngt o hav eav er yhar dt i mege t t i ngupf r om as i t t i ngpo s i t i onf ort he

r es to ft heweek!AndMi c hel l et hi nksi t ’ sHI LARI OUS,un t i ls he r eal i z est ha thei sac t ual l yhur t !

Shego est ohel phi m up ,bu twhens her eac hesou therhand,s he pul l sbac kar ubberc hi c k en!

COMEDYHOUSE! Mi c haelhast ur nedi n t oal oo s ec o l l ec t i ono fr ubberc hi c k ens !

Mi c hel l es c r eams ,ass hei swan tt odowhenanew ac quai n t anc e t ur nsi n t oabunc ho fl oo s er ubberc hi c k ens !Imean ,i thas n ’ t happenedt oherbef or enow,bu toneas s umess he’ ds c r eam EVERY t i mei thappens !

Shegr absherl uggaget or unou to fComedyHous e,bu ther l uggaget r ans mogr i f i esi n t oapi l eo fr ubberc hi c k enst ha tf al l st o t hegr oundwi t hac ac ophonyo fs queeks !Shes c r eamsagai n!Wi t h nol es so fi n t ens i t yt hanwhenMi c haelt ur nedi n t oabunc ho f c omedypr ops !So ,maybes hej us tdo es n ’ tl i k ec hange!

Sher unst owar dt hedoor ,bu ts t epsont hebananapeel ,whi c h t ur nsi n t oar ubberc hi c k en.Shegas ps ,pl ac i ngherhandov erher mou t h!Att ha tmomen t ,s het ur nsi n t oapi l eo fr ubberc hi c k ens !

COMEDYHOUSE!

T h a t ' swh a tIl i kea bou t mydi c k.Myba l l ske e p ge t t i n gbi gge r,bu tmydi c k st a y st h esa mesi z e .

OW!

S t opu si n gp l a st i c st ra ws ,y aj e rk!

Ca rme n Gu t i e rre z wa s a mi l d ma n n e re dl a t i n x wa i t re ss wh o wa s goi n gt on i gh t sc h oolwh i l e p u t t i n gh e rgi rl f ri e n dt h rou ghc ol l e ge .On en i gh t , h e rc l a ss we n tt o asc i e n c ede mon st ra t i on .Y ou kn ow,on eoft h oseSU P E Rc ommonsc i e n c ede mon st ra t i on s ? I be tt h e re a re a c t u a l l y more of t h oset h a nwekn ow a bou t .T h osedu mbn e rdsc i e n t i st sa resol on e l yt h a tIbe tabu n c hofp e op l e sh ow u pt o wa t c ht h e md ot h e i r st u p i de x p e ri me n t sa n dt h e y ’ rea l l ,l i ke ,“ S we e t !P u tt h e mi nt h e c orn e r!We ’ re goi n gt ol i gh tt h i s sh i tu p wi t h sc i e n c e ! ” L i ke y ou wou l di ma gi n e ,t h e re wa s ac ra z yl a b e x p l osi on .C’ e stl av i e !Somera di a t i ongotou t !Ca n y ou be l i e v ei t ?!T h a t ’ s ri gh t !Su rp ri se !T h i si sa su p e rh e roori gi nst ory !

On eoft h el a bt e c h s ,awh i t egu ywi t habe a rd t h a tdi d st a n du pa tn i gh t ,goti rra di a t e d.Wh i l e Ca rme nwa sn ' tl ooki n g, t h el a bt e c hc ra wl e du pon h e ra n dbi th e r.

T h en e x t da y ,wh e n sh e woke u p ,Ca rme nh a d obt a i n e da l lt h ep rop ort i on a lp owe rs of a be a rde dwh i t egu yh e rsi z e .N owa rme dwi t hwh i t e p ri v i l e gea n d“ wh i t egu yse n se ”( T h ei n t u i t i v ea bi l i t y t o kn ow wh e n bl a c kp e op l ea re ba rbe qu i n g) , Ca rme nh a s se tof ft of i gh tc ri mea s Be a rde d Wh i t eGu yWoma n !

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: e u s s I t x Ne

Wege tre adyf o r T hanks gi vi ng! ! !